[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
good evening thank you dr. Harold for
good evening thank you dr. Harold for the introduction and thank you everyone
the introduction and thank you everyone
the introduction and thank you everyone for coming out tonight to watch the TED
for coming out tonight to watch the TED
for coming out tonight to watch the TED talks I wanted to start by saying that
talks I wanted to start by saying that
talks I wanted to start by saying that one in four people develop a mental
one in four people develop a mental
one in four people develop a mental illness at one point in their lives
illness at one point in their lives
illness at one point in their lives whether it be depression anxiety any
whether it be depression anxiety any
whether it be depression anxiety any social disorder or eating disorder but
social disorder or eating disorder but
social disorder or eating disorder but let me put that into perspective for you
let me put that into perspective for you
let me put that into perspective for you between you the person to your left the
between you the person to your left the
between you the person to your left the person to your right and the person in
person to your right and the person in
person to your right and the person in front of you one of you may be suffering
front of you one of you may be suffering
front of you one of you may be suffering from a mental illness at this point in
from a mental illness at this point in
from a mental illness at this point in your life but one’s appearance often
your life but one’s appearance often
your life but one’s appearance often contrasts the reality of his or her life
contrasts the reality of his or her life
contrasts the reality of his or her life for example my external involvement
for example my external involvement
for example my external involvement perfectionism and confidence coincides
perfectionism and confidence coincides
perfectionism and confidence coincides with the internal deterioration of my
with the internal deterioration of my
with the internal deterioration of my happiness every day but by the physical
happiness every day but by the physical
happiness every day but by the physical look of me and by my extroverted
look of me and by my extroverted
look of me and by my extroverted personality one would never guess mental
personality one would never guess mental
personality one would never guess mental illness and suicide
illness and suicide
illness and suicide it carries a certain stigma from society
it carries a certain stigma from society
it carries a certain stigma from society however I think we can do three things
however I think we can do three things
however I think we can do three things to stop the stigma we can ask talk and
to stop the stigma we can ask talk and
to stop the stigma we can ask talk and listen acknowledging the situation
listen acknowledging the situation
listen acknowledging the situation allows the soul to begin the healing
allows the soul to begin the healing
allows the soul to begin the healing process not only for those suffering but
process not only for those suffering but
process not only for those suffering but those that want to offer their support
those that want to offer their support
those that want to offer their support as well the constant disturbance of
as well the constant disturbance of
as well the constant disturbance of false image and external representation
false image and external representation
false image and external representation often leads to self judgment and I keep
often leads to self judgment and I keep
often leads to self judgment and I keep saying that images deceive reality but
saying that images deceive reality but
saying that images deceive reality but let me explain why this year for a peel
let me explain why this year for a peel
let me explain why this year for a peel it I have dr. Klein and she’s so
it I have dr. Klein and she’s so
it I have dr. Klein and she’s so inspiring and great a going word by word
inspiring and great a going word by word
inspiring and great a going word by word analyzing every play that we read in
analyzing every play that we read in
analyzing every play that we read in that I would call myself a mini
that I would call myself a mini
that I would call myself a mini Shakespeare scholar because of her but
Shakespeare scholar because of her but
Shakespeare scholar because of her but Shakespeare depicts one theme throughout
Shakespeare depicts one theme throughout
Shakespeare depicts one theme throughout all of his plays the theme of appearance
all of his plays the theme of appearance
all of his plays the theme of appearance versus reality he talks about hiding
versus reality he talks about hiding
versus reality he talks about hiding your personal flaws to try and hoax
your personal flaws to try and hoax
your personal flaws to try and hoax other people for example in his play
other people for example in his play
other people for example in his play Macbeth he says fair is foul and foul is
Macbeth he says fair is foul and foul is
Macbeth he says fair is foul and foul is fair this means that all things that are
fair this means that all things that are
fair this means that all things that are believed to be beautiful are actually
believed to be beautiful are actually
believed to be beautiful are actually worn out and distraught and vice-versa
worn out and distraught and vice-versa
worn out and distraught and vice-versa but these themes that Shakespeare talked
but these themes that Shakespeare talked
but these themes that Shakespeare talked about in the Renaissance
about in the Renaissance
about in the Renaissance period still exist in today’s society
period still exist in today’s society
period still exist in today’s society although today they may be a bit more
although today they may be a bit more
although today they may be a bit more challenging I was 12 years old the first
challenging I was 12 years old the first
challenging I was 12 years old the first time I tried to kill myself
time I tried to kill myself
time I tried to kill myself four years later at the age of sixteen I
four years later at the age of sixteen I
four years later at the age of sixteen I tried to commit suicide again throughout
tried to commit suicide again throughout
tried to commit suicide again throughout my life I always felt out of place I was
my life I always felt out of place I was
my life I always felt out of place I was never friends with other girls I never
never friends with other girls I never
never friends with other girls I never really cared about any societal norms
really cared about any societal norms
really cared about any societal norms I just longed to be happy in my own way
I just longed to be happy in my own way
I just longed to be happy in my own way but I felt like I was stuck I always
but I felt like I was stuck I always
but I felt like I was stuck I always wanted to fit in with my surroundings
wanted to fit in with my surroundings
wanted to fit in with my surroundings and be comfortable with who I was but I
and be comfortable with who I was but I
and be comfortable with who I was but I thought I had finally found an escape
thought I had finally found an escape
thought I had finally found an escape from the reality that I was living in
from the reality that I was living in
from the reality that I was living in suicide I now know that suicide is never
suicide I now know that suicide is never
suicide I now know that suicide is never the answer
the answer
the answer junior year the worst year of my life I
junior year the worst year of my life I
junior year the worst year of my life I stopped coming to school and when I was
stopped coming to school and when I was
stopped coming to school and when I was here I was crying in the bathroom
here I was crying in the bathroom
here I was crying in the bathroom because of all the pressures that I had
because of all the pressures that I had
because of all the pressures that I had on myself I constantly felt like a
on myself I constantly felt like a
on myself I constantly felt like a disappointment to my friends and my
disappointment to my friends and my
disappointment to my friends and my family and my teachers but keep in mind
family and my teachers but keep in mind
family and my teachers but keep in mind I was taking five AP classes and
I was taking five AP classes and
I was taking five AP classes and participating in more extracurricular
participating in more extracurricular
participating in more extracurricular activities and I could count on with my
activities and I could count on with my
activities and I could count on with my hands until one day I was sitting in ap
hands until one day I was sitting in ap
hands until one day I was sitting in ap physics with miss Giles and for anyone
physics with miss Giles and for anyone
physics with miss Giles and for anyone that knows of her or of the class it’s
that knows of her or of the class it’s
that knows of her or of the class it’s not easy
not easy
not easy anyways it was close to the end of the
anyways it was close to the end of the
anyways it was close to the end of the period and she walked over to me and
period and she walked over to me and
period and she walked over to me and asked me to stay after class that day
asked me to stay after class that day
asked me to stay after class that day and I froze I didn’t know what to say I
and I froze I didn’t know what to say I
and I froze I didn’t know what to say I thought she was going to yell at me
thought she was going to yell at me
thought she was going to yell at me because of I didn’t turn an assignment
because of I didn’t turn an assignment
because of I didn’t turn an assignment in but I already had so much on my mind
in but I already had so much on my mind
in but I already had so much on my mind that day the bell rang and she had
that day the bell rang and she had
that day the bell rang and she had walked over to me and she said Megan are
walked over to me and she said Megan are
walked over to me and she said Megan are you okay you’ve looked upset lately I
you okay you’ve looked upset lately I
you okay you’ve looked upset lately I immediately began to cry because for
immediately began to cry because for
immediately began to cry because for once in my life someone had asked me if
once in my life someone had asked me if
once in my life someone had asked me if I was okay her simple gesture ultimately
I was okay her simple gesture ultimately
I was okay her simple gesture ultimately saved my life
saying one word saying one word could
saying one word saying one word could save someone’s life I think that we
save someone’s life I think that we
save someone’s life I think that we should change the stigma and do three
should change the stigma and do three
should change the stigma and do three things
things
things ask talk and listen to begin asking
ask talk and listen to begin asking
ask talk and listen to begin asking asking one question can put someone else
asking one question can put someone else
asking one question can put someone else in control of the conversation it can
in control of the conversation it can
in control of the conversation it can make them find their own answers asking
make them find their own answers asking
make them find their own answers asking questions such as are you okay is there
questions such as are you okay is there
questions such as are you okay is there anything you’d like to talk about there
anything you’d like to talk about there
anything you’d like to talk about there good conversation starters but saying
good conversation starters but saying
good conversation starters but saying something like why can make people feel
something like why can make people feel
something like why can make people feel defensive and challenged at times but
defensive and challenged at times but
defensive and challenged at times but remember just because you’re a support
remember just because you’re a support
remember just because you’re a support system doesn’t mean you’re responsible
system doesn’t mean you’re responsible
system doesn’t mean you’re responsible for having their answers answers at
for having their answers answers at
for having their answers answers at times can lessen or diminish someone’s
times can lessen or diminish someone’s
times can lessen or diminish someone’s point of view about a topic it’s like
point of view about a topic it’s like
point of view about a topic it’s like you’re almost trying to change the way
you’re almost trying to change the way
you’re almost trying to change the way they feel about it saying something as
they feel about it saying something as
they feel about it saying something as it’s not that bad can actually make
it’s not that bad can actually make
it’s not that bad can actually make someone feel worse about a situation so
someone feel worse about a situation so
someone feel worse about a situation so remember just because you don’t have
remember just because you don’t have
remember just because you don’t have answers does not mean you’re not helping
answers does not mean you’re not helping
answers does not mean you’re not helping so in addition to asking talking a
so in addition to asking talking a
so in addition to asking talking a common misconception is that people
common misconception is that people
common misconception is that people don’t want to talk about what they’re
don’t want to talk about what they’re
don’t want to talk about what they’re going through and this may be true and
going through and this may be true and
going through and this may be true and in that circumstance they will say no
in that circumstance they will say no
in that circumstance they will say no but more often than not people want to
but more often than not people want to
but more often than not people want to talk they just don’t have anyone to talk
talk they just don’t have anyone to talk
talk they just don’t have anyone to talk to so if you’re trying to decide on
to so if you’re trying to decide on
to so if you’re trying to decide on whether or not to talk to someone there
whether or not to talk to someone there
whether or not to talk to someone there are five major warning sign the show
are five major warning sign the show
are five major warning sign the show someone is depressed the first putting
someone is depressed the first putting
someone is depressed the first putting themselves down in a serious or joking
themselves down in a serious or joking
themselves down in a serious or joking manner if they say nobody loves me
manner if they say nobody loves me
manner if they say nobody loves me although this might be a joke there’s
although this might be a joke there’s
although this might be a joke there’s usually more of meaning behind it
usually more of meaning behind it
usually more of meaning behind it second any drastic changes in appearance
second any drastic changes in appearance
second any drastic changes in appearance such as cutting all their hair off or
such as cutting all their hair off or
such as cutting all their hair off or any big style changes and third any drug
any big style changes and third any drug
any big style changes and third any drug or alcohol abuse this is always a major
or alcohol abuse this is always a major
or alcohol abuse this is always a major red flag to show something’s going on in
red flag to show something’s going on in
red flag to show something’s going on in someone’s life fourth any eating or
someone’s life fourth any eating or
someone’s life fourth any eating or sleeping changes and then fifth making
sleeping changes and then fifth making
sleeping changes and then fifth making leading statements such as you’d never
leading statements such as you’d never
leading statements such as you’d never believe what I went through they’re
believe what I went through they’re
believe what I went through they’re already starting the conversation with
already starting the conversation with
already starting the conversation with you we just need we as humans just need
you we just need we as humans just need
you we just need we as humans just need to stop being so oblivious to the world
to stop being so oblivious to the world
to stop being so oblivious to the world around us
around us
around us so now onto the topic of listening has
so now onto the topic of listening has
so now onto the topic of listening has anyone ever heard of an active listener
anyone ever heard of an active listener
anyone ever heard of an active listener you basically act as
you basically act as
you basically act as sounding-board you don’t influence the
sounding-board you don’t influence the
sounding-board you don’t influence the conversation at all you only enhance it
conversation at all you only enhance it
conversation at all you only enhance it you can enhance a conversation by doing
you can enhance a conversation by doing
you can enhance a conversation by doing three things the first reframing a
three things the first reframing a
three things the first reframing a question by reframing a question you get
question by reframing a question you get
question by reframing a question you get more than a yes-or-no answer
more than a yes-or-no answer
more than a yes-or-no answer instead of saying has this been
instead of saying has this been
instead of saying has this been happening a long time you could say how
happening a long time you could say how
happening a long time you could say how long has this been happening second
long has this been happening second
long has this been happening second summarize by summarizing you just
summarize by summarizing you just
summarize by summarizing you just reiterate what’s going on in the
reiterate what’s going on in the
reiterate what’s going on in the conversation for example you can say so
conversation for example you can say so
conversation for example you can say so you’ve been fighting with your boyfriend
you’ve been fighting with your boyfriend
you’ve been fighting with your boyfriend for a while do you still love them and
for a while do you still love them and
for a while do you still love them and third reflect reflect through repetition
third reflect reflect through repetition
third reflect reflect through repetition if someone tells you it’s been rough
if someone tells you it’s been rough
if someone tells you it’s been rough lately you could say back so it seems
lately you could say back so it seems
lately you could say back so it seems rough for you what about this it helps
rough for you what about this it helps
rough for you what about this it helps to clarify not only for you what’s going
to clarify not only for you what’s going
to clarify not only for you what’s going on but also the other person now
on but also the other person now
on but also the other person now although asking talking and listening
although asking talking and listening
although asking talking and listening are great support strategies it’s always
are great support strategies it’s always
are great support strategies it’s always important to suggest further help such
important to suggest further help such
important to suggest further help such as a social worker a guidance counselor
as a social worker a guidance counselor
as a social worker a guidance counselor or a parent now that they feel
or a parent now that they feel
or a parent now that they feel comfortable opening up but with that
comfortable opening up but with that
comfortable opening up but with that take time to inspire other people let it
take time to inspire other people let it
take time to inspire other people let it guide your life and your work together
guide your life and your work together
guide your life and your work together we can create a group of empowered
we can create a group of empowered
we can create a group of empowered supporters in a safe environment for
supporters in a safe environment for
supporters in a safe environment for self healing together we can see the
self healing together we can see the
self healing together we can see the invisible together we can stop the
invisible together we can stop the
invisible together we can stop the stigma and together we can ask talk and
stigma and together we can ask talk and
stigma and together we can ask talk and listen thank you
”
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