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Alive and Counting | Julianne Younghans O’Connor | TEDxYakimaSalon


how many of you out there know someone

how many of you out there know someone right now who’s dying how many of you

right now who’s dying how many of you

right now who’s dying how many of you are thinking what did I get into come on

are thinking what did I get into come on

are thinking what did I get into come on with this conversation how many of you

with this conversation how many of you

with this conversation how many of you who raised your hand are referring to

who raised your hand are referring to

who raised your hand are referring to yourselves is there anyone that thinks

yourselves is there anyone that thinks

yourselves is there anyone that thinks they’re going to get out of this thing

they’re going to get out of this thing

they’re going to get out of this thing called life alive okay so tonight I

called life alive okay so tonight I

called life alive okay so tonight I would like to pose a question for your

would like to pose a question for your

would like to pose a question for your consideration can your made-up or

consideration can your made-up or

consideration can your made-up or imaginary prediction of your own

imaginary prediction of your own

imaginary prediction of your own potential death date determine the

potential death date determine the

potential death date determine the quality of your life I grew up on

quality of your life I grew up on

quality of your life I grew up on extremely contaminated property it was

extremely contaminated property it was

extremely contaminated property it was so contaminated that literally the air

so contaminated that literally the air

so contaminated that literally the air above the soil was contaminated if you

above the soil was contaminated if you

above the soil was contaminated if you can believe that and I was probably

can believe that and I was probably

can believe that and I was probably around eight or nine years old at the

around eight or nine years old at the

around eight or nine years old at the point that my father died suddenly of

point that my father died suddenly of

point that my father died suddenly of lymphoma cancer he never knew why he got

lymphoma cancer he never knew why he got

lymphoma cancer he never knew why he got sick his birthday was yesterday actually

sick his birthday was yesterday actually

sick his birthday was yesterday actually ironically and it was many many years

ironically and it was many many years

ironically and it was many many years later that we got a letter in the mail

later that we got a letter in the mail

later that we got a letter in the mail and it said don’t drink your water don’t

and it said don’t drink your water don’t

and it said don’t drink your water don’t touch your water don’t bathe in your

touch your water don’t bathe in your

touch your water don’t bathe in your water and don’t breathe the evaporation

water and don’t breathe the evaporation

water and don’t breathe the evaporation from your water and then all of the

from your water and then all of the

from your water and then all of the cases of bottled water started showing

cases of bottled water started showing

cases of bottled water started showing up to our doorstep that we hadn’t

up to our doorstep that we hadn’t

up to our doorstep that we hadn’t ordered and at this point you know

ordered and at this point you know

ordered and at this point you know strange was not a new word in my

strange was not a new word in my

strange was not a new word in my vocabulary as far as my life went but

vocabulary as far as my life went but

vocabulary as far as my life went but this took strange to a whole new level

this took strange to a whole new level

this took strange to a whole new level because we started brushing our teeth

because we started brushing our teeth

because we started brushing our teeth with bottled water and so then all of a

with bottled water and so then all of a

with bottled water and so then all of a sudden the doctors started and we were

sudden the doctors started and we were

sudden the doctors started and we were sent to all these different doctors all

sent to all these different doctors all

sent to all these different doctors all over and I remember we would go through

over and I remember we would go through

over and I remember we would go through all this physiological testing and

all this physiological testing and

all this physiological testing and psychological testing I say we it was my

psychological testing I say we it was my

psychological testing I say we it was my sister and me but for me personally I

sister and me but for me personally I

sister and me but for me personally I remember my experience after we would go

remember my experience after we would go

remember my experience after we would go through all of this testing that they

through all of this testing that they

through all of this testing that they would bring us into their office at the

would bring us into their office at the

would bring us into their office at the end or they would bring me in and anyone

end or they would bring me in and anyone

end or they would bring me in and anyone who’s ever been to the doctor and they

who’s ever been to the doctor and they

who’s ever been to the doctor and they ask you to come into the office for your

ask you to come into the office for your

ask you to come into the office for your test results usually knows that this is

test results usually knows that this is

test results usually knows that this is not a good sign and so anyway I would go

not a good sign and so anyway I would go

not a good sign and so anyway I would go into their office and they would

into their office and they would

into their office and they would I just remember them like folding their

I just remember them like folding their

I just remember them like folding their hands on their death and they would

hands on their death and they would

hands on their death and they would deliver the news that there was very

deliver the news that there was very

deliver the news that there was very high likelihood that i would get cancer

high likelihood that i would get cancer

high likelihood that i would get cancer one day from the toxins that I had been

one day from the toxins that I had been

one day from the toxins that I had been exposed to and I remember at the time I

exposed to and I remember at the time I

exposed to and I remember at the time I was like wow that sucks but then on the

was like wow that sucks but then on the

was like wow that sucks but then on the other hand I thought to myself okay

other hand I thought to myself okay

other hand I thought to myself okay there’s these things that I want to do

there’s these things that I want to do

there’s these things that I want to do have these dreams in these aspirations

have these dreams in these aspirations

have these dreams in these aspirations and and if they could give me a date

and and if they could give me a date

and and if they could give me a date then I could work backwards from that

then I could work backwards from that

then I could work backwards from that date and I could live a truly meaningful

date and I could live a truly meaningful

date and I could live a truly meaningful life with the time that I was given so I

life with the time that I was given so I

life with the time that I was given so I asked them so can you give me a date

asked them so can you give me a date

asked them so can you give me a date perfect no you know because I wasn’t

perfect no you know because I wasn’t

perfect no you know because I wasn’t sick so they couldn’t give me a date and

sick so they couldn’t give me a date and

sick so they couldn’t give me a date and so I thought to myself okay well if

so I thought to myself okay well if

so I thought to myself okay well if you’re stripped of everything that seems

you’re stripped of everything that seems

you’re stripped of everything that seems like it matters everything that’s

like it matters everything that’s

like it matters everything that’s material and then all of your physical

material and then all of your physical

material and then all of your physical health what’s left I was about 19 when I

health what’s left I was about 19 when I

health what’s left I was about 19 when I started to explore this idea that I

started to explore this idea that I

started to explore this idea that I could die was much later that I realized

could die was much later that I realized

could die was much later that I realized the undeniable fact that I will die

the undeniable fact that I will die

the undeniable fact that I will die someday the funny thing is we’re all

someday the funny thing is we’re all

someday the funny thing is we’re all actually really connected by this common

actually really connected by this common

actually really connected by this common thread if you think about it we’re all

thread if you think about it we’re all

thread if you think about it we’re all going to die someday and it’s

going to die someday and it’s

going to die someday and it’s interesting because right now in fact

interesting because right now in fact

interesting because right now in fact while we’re in here spending time

while we’re in here spending time

while we’re in here spending time together according to the World AMA ters

together according to the World AMA ters

together according to the World AMA ters and if you don’t know what that is

and if you don’t know what that is

and if you don’t know what that is basically what it is is this website

basically what it is is this website

basically what it is is this website that brings in all this all of this

that brings in all this all of this

that brings in all this all of this reliable statistical data that gives you

reliable statistical data that gives you

reliable statistical data that gives you real-time stats on what’s happening

real-time stats on what’s happening

real-time stats on what’s happening right now so births deaths and and how

right now so births deaths and and how

right now so births deaths and and how many mobile phones are being bought I

many mobile phones are being bought I

many mobile phones are being bought I mean everything and so according to

mean everything and so according to

mean everything and so according to world Islanders right now the current

world Islanders right now the current

world Islanders right now the current death rate is about one point seven

death rate is about one point seven

death rate is about one point seven eight people per second so what that

eight people per second so what that

eight people per second so what that looks like is that’s like over 100

looks like is that’s like over 100

looks like is that’s like over 100 people in the next minute that will die

people in the next minute that will die

people in the next minute that will die and if you wouldn’t really put that into

and if you wouldn’t really put that into

and if you wouldn’t really put that into perspective that that’s like over 1800

perspective that that’s like over 1800

perspective that that’s like over 1800 people that are going to die before my

people that are going to die before my

people that are going to die before my talk with you is finished that’s over

talk with you is finished that’s over

talk with you is finished that’s over 6,000 people who will die in the next

6,000 people who will die in the next

6,000 people who will die in the next hour and if you’re doing the math looks

hour and if you’re doing the math looks

hour and if you’re doing the math looks like over 150,000 people who will die

like over 150,000 people who will die

like over 150,000 people who will die today but what does that really mean if

today but what does that really mean if

today but what does that really mean if it’s not happen to you or so

it’s not happen to you or so

it’s not happen to you or so buddy that you know but what if it is

buddy that you know but what if it is

buddy that you know but what if it is happening to you or somebody that you

happening to you or somebody that you

happening to you or somebody that you know or even possibly a stranger that

know or even possibly a stranger that

know or even possibly a stranger that you met a little while ago then what

you met a little while ago then what

you met a little while ago then what we’re talking about the magic of words

we’re talking about the magic of words

we’re talking about the magic of words tonight but the word death is just a

tonight but the word death is just a

tonight but the word death is just a vocabulary word right I mean none of us

vocabulary word right I mean none of us

vocabulary word right I mean none of us really know the experience of death

really know the experience of death

really know the experience of death until we do right and so really comes

until we do right and so really comes

until we do right and so really comes down to the meaning that you give to the

down to the meaning that you give to the

down to the meaning that you give to the word so let’s talk about that for a

word so let’s talk about that for a

word so let’s talk about that for a minute what why is it that some of us

minute what why is it that some of us

minute what why is it that some of us are completely afraid of death some of

are completely afraid of death some of

are completely afraid of death some of us like myself are intrigued by it and

us like myself are intrigued by it and

us like myself are intrigued by it and then yet there’s some people can’t live

then yet there’s some people can’t live

then yet there’s some people can’t live without it I literally I remember a day

without it I literally I remember a day

without it I literally I remember a day i SAT with a friend of mine at an office

i SAT with a friend of mine at an office

i SAT with a friend of mine at an office that I worked at and I sat down at her

that I worked at and I sat down at her

that I worked at and I sat down at her desk and and don’t get me wrong i mean

desk and and don’t get me wrong i mean

desk and and don’t get me wrong i mean the job sucked okay but but she said you

the job sucked okay but but she said you

the job sucked okay but but she said you know I don’t think I can do this anymore

know I don’t think I can do this anymore

know I don’t think I can do this anymore i don’t i don’t think i can go on and i

i don’t i don’t think i can go on and i

i don’t i don’t think i can go on and i could see where she was going with this

could see where she was going with this

could see where she was going with this and and so I said to her I said you know

and and so I said to her I said you know

and and so I said to her I said you know wouldn’t you sell everything quit your

wouldn’t you sell everything quit your

wouldn’t you sell everything quit your job and go take some radical vacation

job and go take some radical vacation

job and go take some radical vacation and get perspective excuse me she didn’t

and get perspective excuse me she didn’t

and get perspective excuse me she didn’t take my advice but she did take her own

take my advice but she did take her own

take my advice but she did take her own life and then there was another and

life and then there was another and

life and then there was another and another and there were many more after

another and there were many more after

another and there were many more after that I have a friend who’s incredibly

that I have a friend who’s incredibly

that I have a friend who’s incredibly addicted to skydiving anybody out there

addicted to skydiving anybody out there

addicted to skydiving anybody out there addicted to skydiving I see a hand in

addicted to skydiving I see a hand in

addicted to skydiving I see a hand in the back I have another guy that I

the back I have another guy that I

the back I have another guy that I awarded a scholarship to because he’s so

awarded a scholarship to because he’s so

awarded a scholarship to because he’s so crazy in love with skydiving that he

crazy in love with skydiving that he

crazy in love with skydiving that he wants to become an instructor and when

wants to become an instructor and when

wants to become an instructor and when asked what it was about skydiving that

asked what it was about skydiving that

asked what it was about skydiving that made them so fascinated by this

made them so fascinated by this

made them so fascinated by this dangerous hobby they both reported back

dangerous hobby they both reported back

dangerous hobby they both reported back that I had everything to do with how

that I had everything to do with how

that I had everything to do with how alive it made them feel when they came

alive it made them feel when they came

alive it made them feel when they came that close to death I think we can

that close to death I think we can

that close to death I think we can relate right just talk about life expect

relate right just talk about life expect

relate right just talk about life expect see for a minute did you know that there

see for a minute did you know that there

see for a minute did you know that there are actually countries out there that

are actually countries out there that

are actually countries out there that according to like Wikipedia and some

according to like Wikipedia and some

according to like Wikipedia and some other places sources depending on where

other places sources depending on where

other places sources depending on where you read your statistics they vary a bit

you read your statistics they vary a bit

you read your statistics they vary a bit but there are countries out there was

but there are countries out there was

but there are countries out there was some of the lowest life expectancies on

some of the lowest life expectancies on

some of the lowest life expectancies on the planet I’m talking about like 49 can

the planet I’m talking about like 49 can

the planet I’m talking about like 49 can you imagine I’m thinking to myself that

you imagine I’m thinking to myself that

you imagine I’m thinking to myself that that’s just a couple years away who

that’s just a couple years away who

that’s just a couple years away who actually those countries actually

actually those countries actually

actually those countries actually experience some of the highest levels of

experience some of the highest levels of

experience some of the highest levels of peace I mean I’m talking about countries

peace I mean I’m talking about countries

peace I mean I’m talking about countries that are made up of religious

that are made up of religious

that are made up of religious denomination or excuse me just a variety

denomination or excuse me just a variety

denomination or excuse me just a variety of religious philosophies from Muslim to

of religious philosophies from Muslim to

of religious philosophies from Muslim to Christian to indigenous beliefs and so

Christian to indigenous beliefs and so

Christian to indigenous beliefs and so on and so forth and yet they’re

on and so forth and yet they’re

on and so forth and yet they’re considered some of the most peaceful

considered some of the most peaceful

considered some of the most peaceful nations in the world why is that now

nations in the world why is that now

nations in the world why is that now it’s not all of them don’t get me wrong

it’s not all of them don’t get me wrong

it’s not all of them don’t get me wrong but I have to wonder that for those that

but I have to wonder that for those that

but I have to wonder that for those that experience those high levels of peace

experience those high levels of peace

experience those high levels of peace with these low life expectancies is it

with these low life expectancies is it

with these low life expectancies is it possible that they think to themselves

possible that they think to themselves

possible that they think to themselves wow my time on this planet is only so

wow my time on this planet is only so

wow my time on this planet is only so much is it worth it to go and be a nag

much is it worth it to go and be a nag

much is it worth it to go and be a nag or whatever the case might be is it you

or whatever the case might be is it you

or whatever the case might be is it you know or does it inspire them to live

know or does it inspire them to live

know or does it inspire them to live with more tolerance more acceptance I

with more tolerance more acceptance I

with more tolerance more acceptance I just have to wonder just death beget

just have to wonder just death beget

just have to wonder just death beget life you know I when I first started

life you know I when I first started

life you know I when I first started kind of exploring this idea of death

kind of exploring this idea of death

kind of exploring this idea of death making you consider living a life more

making you consider living a life more

making you consider living a life more fulfilled I took a death and dying class

fulfilled I took a death and dying class

fulfilled I took a death and dying class I know I’m a hoot to hang out with but

I know I’m a hoot to hang out with but

I know I’m a hoot to hang out with but my my husband took this class of me in

my my husband took this class of me in

my my husband took this class of me in fact let me just sidestep for a second

fact let me just sidestep for a second

fact let me just sidestep for a second tell you a little bit about my husband

tell you a little bit about my husband

tell you a little bit about my husband because this is kind of funny and since

because this is kind of funny and since

because this is kind of funny and since i’m going to tell this story it makes me

i’m going to tell this story it makes me

i’m going to tell this story it makes me think of him so two days ago i sort of

think of him so two days ago i sort of

think of him so two days ago i sort of pinned my husband in the kitchen and he

pinned my husband in the kitchen and he

pinned my husband in the kitchen and he was having coffee in the morning and I

was having coffee in the morning and I

was having coffee in the morning and I said to him I said honey I said he knows

said to him I said honey I said he knows

said to him I said honey I said he knows I’m preparing for this talk with you

I’m preparing for this talk with you

I’m preparing for this talk with you guys and and I said honey I said what’s

guys and and I said honey I said what’s

guys and and I said honey I said what’s your life expectancy he’s like what like

your life expectancy he’s like what like

your life expectancy he’s like what like and he literally started to shut down

and he literally started to shut down

and he literally started to shut down before my eyes like if he could have run

before my eyes like if he could have run

before my eyes like if he could have run out of the kitchen he would have run but

out of the kitchen he would have run but

out of the kitchen he would have run but I had him back

I had him back

I had him back against a wall and so I did what any

against a wall and so I did what any

against a wall and so I did what any good wife would do I pressed him I’m

good wife would do I pressed him I’m

good wife would do I pressed him I’m like honey I want to know you know I’m

like honey I want to know you know I’m

like honey I want to know you know I’m about to do this talk and you know that

about to do this talk and you know that

about to do this talk and you know that I studied us I need to know how long are

I studied us I need to know how long are

I studied us I need to know how long are you gonna live I said give me your

you gonna live I said give me your

you gonna live I said give me your imaginary date and he was like so he’s

imaginary date and he was like so he’s

imaginary date and he was like so he’s like okay well based on you know my my

like okay well based on you know my my

like okay well based on you know my my grandparents living this long and yet he

grandparents living this long and yet he

grandparents living this long and yet he gotta go he’s like 112 I said okay I

gotta go he’s like 112 I said okay I

gotta go he’s like 112 I said okay I said 112 so have you remarried and he he

said 112 so have you remarried and he he

said 112 so have you remarried and he he said no my hundred and thirteen year old

said no my hundred and thirteen year old

said no my hundred and thirteen year old wife just standing there with me and so

wife just standing there with me and so

wife just standing there with me and so yeah it’s not unreasonable that he could

yeah it’s not unreasonable that he could

yeah it’s not unreasonable that he could live to be that age but I was laughing I

live to be that age but I was laughing I

live to be that age but I was laughing I was like it yeah that’s not going to

was like it yeah that’s not going to

was like it yeah that’s not going to happen but then I pushed him a little

happen but then I pushed him a little

happen but then I pushed him a little more and I said so honey let’s say it’s

more and I said so honey let’s say it’s

more and I said so honey let’s say it’s your birthday you’re 112 I said who’s

your birthday you’re 112 I said who’s

your birthday you’re 112 I said who’s there with you look around i want to

there with you look around i want to

there with you look around i want to know cuz i’m not there with you I

know cuz i’m not there with you I

know cuz i’m not there with you I guarantee it I said but tell me who’s

guarantee it I said but tell me who’s

guarantee it I said but tell me who’s there with you so he started to think

there with you so he started to think

there with you so he started to think about it and then yesterday I’m in

about it and then yesterday I’m in

about it and then yesterday I’m in victim at the airport between different

victim at the airport between different

victim at the airport between different flights on my way here and I get the

flights on my way here and I get the

flights on my way here and I get the most beautiful text from him and it says

most beautiful text from him and it says

most beautiful text from him and it says honey who says you can relax now he said

honey who says you can relax now he said

honey who says you can relax now he said you’re gonna change the world with this

you’re gonna change the world with this

you’re gonna change the world with this idea he said you inspired me he

idea he said you inspired me he

idea he said you inspired me he completely changed my way of looking at

completely changed my way of looking at

completely changed my way of looking at things and I was like oh my gosh the

things and I was like oh my gosh the

things and I was like oh my gosh the pressure and that was crying on the

pressure and that was crying on the

pressure and that was crying on the plane it was ridiculous but anyway so

plane it was ridiculous but anyway so

plane it was ridiculous but anyway so back to this death and dying class so we

back to this death and dying class so we

back to this death and dying class so we take this class and although the class

take this class and although the class

take this class and although the class itself was quite fascinating what really

itself was quite fascinating what really

itself was quite fascinating what really struck me as the most interesting

struck me as the most interesting

struck me as the most interesting actually came from the breakout groups

actually came from the breakout groups

actually came from the breakout groups that we had with the elderly and it was

that we had with the elderly and it was

that we had with the elderly and it was like groups individuals and and really

like groups individuals and and really

like groups individuals and and really what was so fascinating is that they had

what was so fascinating is that they had

what was so fascinating is that they had no fear whatsoever of death in fact they

no fear whatsoever of death in fact they

no fear whatsoever of death in fact they completely embraced it they’re only

completely embraced it they’re only

completely embraced it they’re only priority was to prepare for it only

priority was to prepare for it only

priority was to prepare for it only their seeming source of sadness came

their seeming source of sadness came

their seeming source of sadness came from the fact that they also wanted to

from the fact that they also wanted to

from the fact that they also wanted to talk about it and they couldn’t because

talk about it and they couldn’t because

talk about it and they couldn’t because their loved ones were like lalala mom

their loved ones were like lalala mom

their loved ones were like lalala mom stop you’re not going to die don’t talk

stop you’re not going to die don’t talk

stop you’re not going to die don’t talk to me about this you know dad whatever

to me about this you know dad whatever

to me about this you know dad whatever they just want to talk about it what’s

they just want to talk about it what’s

they just want to talk about it what’s your relationship with the word death I

your relationship with the word death I

your relationship with the word death I want to ask you a few questions and

want to ask you a few questions and

want to ask you a few questions and I just want you to take a moment and

I just want you to take a moment and

I just want you to take a moment and just really think about them for a

just really think about them for a

just really think about them for a second ponder them if you will and if

second ponder them if you will and if

second ponder them if you will and if you want to close your eyes or whatever

you want to close your eyes or whatever

you want to close your eyes or whatever it is that makes this feasible for you

it is that makes this feasible for you

it is that makes this feasible for you to really kind of partake in this then

to really kind of partake in this then

to really kind of partake in this then feel free please so if you knew you

feel free please so if you knew you

feel free please so if you knew you would die tomorrow who would you want by

would die tomorrow who would you want by

would die tomorrow who would you want by your side if you knew you were going to

your side if you knew you were going to

your side if you knew you were going to die in one week what’s the first thing

die in one week what’s the first thing

die in one week what’s the first thing that you would do right now if you knew

that you would do right now if you knew

that you would do right now if you knew you had a month left to live what would

you had a month left to live what would

you had a month left to live what would you want to share with the world if you

you want to share with the world if you

you want to share with the world if you knew you had a year or ten what would

knew you had a year or ten what would

knew you had a year or ten what would you want your life to look like if you

you want your life to look like if you

you want your life to look like if you had 20 or more years left to live what’s

had 20 or more years left to live what’s

had 20 or more years left to live what’s the first thing that you would do right

the first thing that you would do right

the first thing that you would do right now towards living a more meaningful

now towards living a more meaningful

now towards living a more meaningful life our date may be unknown but our

life our date may be unknown but our

life our date may be unknown but our fate is set in stone should this be

fate is set in stone should this be

fate is set in stone should this be feared or should this be embraced should

feared or should this be embraced should

feared or should this be embraced should this be suppressed or should this be

this be suppressed or should this be

this be suppressed or should this be honored look to accept death as a common

honored look to accept death as a common

honored look to accept death as a common thread between us is to accept our

thread between us is to accept our

thread between us is to accept our complete likeness in a way that we can

complete likeness in a way that we can

complete likeness in a way that we can let go of all judgment and scrutiny to

let go of all judgment and scrutiny to

let go of all judgment and scrutiny to accept death as a common thread between

accept death as a common thread between

accept death as a common thread between us is to choose a life worth enjoying a

us is to choose a life worth enjoying a

us is to choose a life worth enjoying a life worth fulfilling and a life worth

life worth fulfilling and a life worth

life worth fulfilling and a life worth extraordinary endeavors

you cannot guard yourself from death

you cannot guard yourself from death without guarding yourself from life

without guarding yourself from life

without guarding yourself from life embrace one and you embrace the other

embrace one and you embrace the other

embrace one and you embrace the other look I’m just going to tell you this you

look I’m just going to tell you this you

look I’m just going to tell you this you know it’s scary to come up here I am you

know it’s scary to come up here I am you

know it’s scary to come up here I am you know fearful that I could forget

know fearful that I could forget

know fearful that I could forget everything that I want to say I worry

everything that I want to say I worry

everything that I want to say I worry about you know tripping and falling I

about you know tripping and falling I

about you know tripping and falling I mean all the things it’s it’s

mean all the things it’s it’s

mean all the things it’s it’s frightening to be a human being but when

frightening to be a human being but when

frightening to be a human being but when you realize that you have a finite

you realize that you have a finite

you realize that you have a finite amount of time in this body you begin to

amount of time in this body you begin to

amount of time in this body you begin to realize that you can unlearn all the

realize that you can unlearn all the

realize that you can unlearn all the stuff you learned in school and you can

stuff you learned in school and you can

stuff you learned in school and you can begin to to understand that you matter

begin to to understand that you matter

begin to to understand that you matter in ways that you maybe don’t realize

in ways that you maybe don’t realize

in ways that you maybe don’t realize like everything you do matters

like everything you do matters

like everything you do matters everything that you view matters your

everything that you view matters your

everything that you view matters your point of view matters and the people you

point of view matters and the people you

point of view matters and the people you love matter your community matters and

love matter your community matters and

love matter your community matters and strangers matter since I’ve been

strangers matter since I’ve been

strangers matter since I’ve been exploring this idea and since I’ve

exploring this idea and since I’ve

exploring this idea and since I’ve accepted that I’m absolutely going to

accepted that I’m absolutely going to

accepted that I’m absolutely going to die one day I have realized that you

die one day I have realized that you

die one day I have realized that you know somebody’s judgment of me or their

know somebody’s judgment of me or their

know somebody’s judgment of me or their rejection of me maybe gives them a

rejection of me maybe gives them a

rejection of me maybe gives them a feeling of control in a world that is

feeling of control in a world that is

feeling of control in a world that is seemingly out of control and it is no

seemingly out of control and it is no

seemingly out of control and it is no longer personal I leave you with this a

longer personal I leave you with this a

longer personal I leave you with this a poem about mortality I once was afraid

poem about mortality I once was afraid

poem about mortality I once was afraid of my own shadow but then I was walking

of my own shadow but then I was walking

of my own shadow but then I was walking by I took a look and suddenly out came a

by I took a look and suddenly out came a

by I took a look and suddenly out came a revealing sigh for it was no longer

revealing sigh for it was no longer

revealing sigh for it was no longer scary I realized it was nothing more

scary I realized it was nothing more

scary I realized it was nothing more than a beautiful image of me painted

than a beautiful image of me painted

than a beautiful image of me painted upon the door and then it moved and on

upon the door and then it moved and on

upon the door and then it moved and on we went two peas in a pod the same no

we went two peas in a pod the same no

we went two peas in a pod the same no longer was I scared my companion it

longer was I scared my companion it

longer was I scared my companion it became thank you

became thank you

became thank you [Applause]

”

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