March 26, 2008 personal diary for me
it’s easier to write what to talk
however I do love to talk only in
loud voice frees me quite from all the
impotence that I feel during the day
by not being able to say everything I want
I am afraid I am afraid of not being able
overcome this damn problem I have
fear of growing up with reaching the
university for work without having
I learned to communicate well, I’m afraid
that my children hear me talk about
this way I am very afraid
this is something that I wrote when I had
15 years and at that time of my life
everything revolved around fear fear of
I at heart is really to fear
want to say something and not be able to do it
Look how or why people look at me
weird or difference
I have enough women and be able to
say these three simple words though
do not believe it is the product of the fight more
great that has had during all my me
I started adapting very well to the four
years
My dads, well, I really do not remember
When was that but my parents say
that went to anxiety
five of every 100 children start
stutter
this usually happens between the two and
five years of those 51 like me
probably will continue to support the took
that character is realized by
involuntary interruptions in speech
that affect our common and
occasion and often often affect the
quality of life of children who
we started to has treated very well
we started with repetitions
prolongations or blockages these to
start does not usually cause surprise but
over time if they are not but they are
addressed by a specialist
starts to generate frustration and
we started to build strength and we started
make tension to get that single sound
You do not want to leave and often
people who listen to us without giving
account
they look at us weird or they rush us or they are not
They correct them or they tell us
calm breathe relax and well that
does not help us and so we are growing with
the perception that something in our
life is wrong that something in us is
wrong
little by little we are going let’s go
making more and more conscious do
about our holy death and how many
Sometimes that has brought us no rejection
it generates shame
we started with the fear of stuttering myself
so as not to try to mediate, he avoided talking
I remember being watching and doing
now in the at school for because
rightly I was coming out of the bathroom
when it is 200 to reach my turn
in group reading another thing that used to
to do was at the exhibitions
I was a day before I took grandmother
dipped in the shirt and will face me
to 23 for to inform me and not have to
If next day go to college
things were not very dif ferent what
I was most worried him go
first day of school and see if the
professor was of those who called
list do not have to say present front
to the whole hall of light
I put my dog
I used to say here me and if the teacher
small age that did not lift the
face sat me right at the desk
in front of him and do to try not to
say nothing and when I could not avoid a
situation avoided the word or the sound
what would I need worldwide
for example saying my name is something that
It cost me a lot and when I was going to buy
with rap and haizea teach what is your
name Luis and then be Mr. Luis or
that is ready and it is already
me as well as that
for example he began using synonym
time of circus school of my school eme
say ‘which car said auto and so had
a whole dictionary of synonyms for
use when something does not work out
I even sometimes asked for something from the menu that
it was easier for me to say something than I
really what day and fear to see anything
all my days
it’s normal and it’s very common for people
be afraid to speak in public not
imagine that fear but every time
go talk every time you speak for
phone every time they meet someone
every time there is a point in my life
where all he wanted was to talk
fluid I wanted to talk like a person
normal I go to my way of speaking and I
I got to hate myself for talking like that
as a child my parents took me to
psychologist to psychiatrists and therapists
neurologists clown workshops
acting the culture a lot of things
everything to try to stop stuttering
and it’s been a couple of years since I
I entered an international program that
offers courses for people hired
well thanks to the support of my family that
it is always there
You can enter after three days of
intensive training
I learned that I could control my
tatamuez learned the technique and consisted
in controlling my breathing to be able
speak more fluently and without
imagine it will reach that rise
is that he had always wanted all the
days doing my exercises
I’ve talked to something like darth
Vader breathing and required a lot
concentration but I came to give that
control and with that I started doing things
I had never done before like talking
in exhibition class and even to
speak public speaking and it was not
only that what changed totally
my my perspective but I knew I gave
mind that there were a lot of people who
he also stuttered like me people
that they had also missed class
also they like to say this
they had also changed even the
name for the first time I felt that there was
people who understood what really
it happened to me that I was not alone and that if
we want many we are many
also there I started to put in
support groups at the international level
people from diverse countries to even
summon people here in Lima to
form a support group in the
university and each person had their
history your fears your goals
his very particular way of speaking and of
world letter
I also learned to investigate if I win that
the tartan was a lot of things
less everything that I had always
thought for everyone is a disorder of the
speaks so complex that until the day of
today it is not known what is the exact cause
however, you already have certain
indications there is scientific evidence of
that there is a genetic basis that would make
some of us that some people
that we have more tendency to
tall dark than others
quoting to remove
this genetic base would be related
with the way our brain
develops neuronal connections
related to speech and language to the
once these co uk ‘conditions would have
certain difficulties for the flow
fast information and turn
they would be much more sensitive to be seen
affected by other activities such as
emotions
although these differences are there are
so light that they can make
we can talk sometimes with
fluency but the tendency to is also
a reality and I always thought that if
I supported it was my fault and I felt bad
they never hired me when I went to 12 10
job interviews and for weighing
have one of the highest notes in the
university if it is very at hand I was able
people there are many myths and stigmas
people think that we are
uneasy people anxious means like this
that’s why we try to stutter
it’s just a thought that this one that
is there and we have to overcome
because if we are incapable
Now I know what I did not have why
feel guilty about something that was not my
guilt and I did not have to feel
enjoyed something that you one way was
part of me
I started to get tired of practicing and
technique because sometimes not only
wants to talk and ya and I just left
I started talking and after a while
I felt that I started that I started
aa cake or again and one day I had to
expose in front of a lot of people and I did it and
also a lot do not imagine g
but I did it and I was not afraid anymore
shame I felt free today the
stuttering is a way part of me is
one more feature is a way of
talk and that does not cause me any
worries his action me
I really like the phrase by Carlos Rogers
what is the word
curious paradox is that when he accepted
just the way I am
then I can change and I felt that
from there I started to accept and embrace
I totally treated myself because I started
feel totally free
today I would not be the same person if the
they try very well accompanied throughout
my life would not be a better one worse
person just would not be me and I
like to make the person that I am
he has also taught me several things
has taught that every moment that each
fails every day is an opportunity to
better to improve you just have to
dare to try
If you try and you succeed, you win
trust if you do not gain experience but
you never lose you always win I stopped
try it many times and now it won
every day I go I already won
finally mens it was pointed out that all
We’re different
we all have particular clarities
difficulties and g of differences and that’s
what makes us unique
it’s part of who we are, that’s why
He advised them to accept and embrace their
differences that recognize it as part
of you already know really yours
because there is nothing more sincere that is
ourselves there is nothing more beautiful
to enjoy the freedom to be
totally out now ticos
Thank you
to
”
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