I stand before you as a male in female clothing and some of you may have had
clothing and some of you may have had
clothing and some of you may have had immediately immediate thoughts rather of
immediately immediate thoughts rather of
immediately immediate thoughts rather of categorization some may have even
categorization some may have even
categorization some may have even whispered as I walked upon this stage
whispered as I walked upon this stage
whispered as I walked upon this stage however this is no fault of your own but
however this is no fault of your own but
however this is no fault of your own but that is what society conditions us to do
that is what society conditions us to do
that is what society conditions us to do in fact males and female clothing is a
in fact males and female clothing is a
in fact males and female clothing is a practice that has been occurring since
practice that has been occurring since
practice that has been occurring since before the first recordings of the times
before the first recordings of the times
before the first recordings of the times of Shakespeare where the word drag
of Shakespeare where the word drag
of Shakespeare where the word drag originally comes from meaning dressed as
originally comes from meaning dressed as
originally comes from meaning dressed as a girl therefore this image and this
a girl therefore this image and this
a girl therefore this image and this presentation this person you see before
presentation this person you see before
presentation this person you see before you is nothing new I would like to quote
you is nothing new I would like to quote
you is nothing new I would like to quote something that Professor an amalgam of
something that Professor an amalgam of
something that Professor an amalgam of raw Holloway University of London had
raw Holloway University of London had
raw Holloway University of London had presented at a collaborative event with
presented at a collaborative event with
presented at a collaborative event with Academy which is a South Asian dance
Academy which is a South Asian dance
Academy which is a South Asian dance company called the illicit worlds of
company called the illicit worlds of
company called the illicit worlds of Indian dance that event was a few months
Indian dance that event was a few months
Indian dance that event was a few months ago and that is where I first performed
ago and that is where I first performed
ago and that is where I first performed the piece that I will share with you
the piece that I will share with you
the piece that I will share with you later on she says a rare autobiography
later on she says a rare autobiography
later on she says a rare autobiography of one called Jaishankar sundhari who
of one called Jaishankar sundhari who
of one called Jaishankar sundhari who was a big star of the Gujarati theatre
was a big star of the Gujarati theatre
was a big star of the Gujarati theatre gives a window into his own gender
gives a window into his own gender
gives a window into his own gender fluidity he wrote about the first time
fluidity he wrote about the first time
fluidity he wrote about the first time he wore female clothes quote I saw a
he wore female clothes quote I saw a
he wore female clothes quote I saw a beautiful young girl emerging from
beautiful young girl emerging from
beautiful young girl emerging from within myself whose shapely intoxicating
within myself whose shapely intoxicating
within myself whose shapely intoxicating limbs boozed youthful exuberance in
limbs boozed youthful exuberance in
limbs boozed youthful exuberance in whose form is the fragrance of woman’s
whose form is the fragrance of woman’s
whose form is the fragrance of woman’s beauty from whose eyes feminine feelings
beauty from whose eyes feminine feelings
beauty from whose eyes feminine feelings keep brimming this is this is not
keep brimming this is this is not
keep brimming this is this is not Jaishankar it is a shy and proud young
Jaishankar it is a shy and proud young
Jaishankar it is a shy and proud young Gujarati girl that graceful movement
Gujarati girl that graceful movement
Gujarati girl that graceful movement that expressivity that enchantment a
that expressivity that enchantment a
that expressivity that enchantment a sweet shiver ran through my body’s limbs
sweet shiver ran through my body’s limbs
sweet shiver ran through my body’s limbs end quote
end quote
end quote if we are to once again play with the
if we are to once again play with the
if we are to once again play with the idea of categorization could Jai
idea of categorization could Jai
idea of categorization could Jai Shankar’s true identity be allowed its
Shankar’s true identity be allowed its
Shankar’s true identity be allowed its freedom within the limits our society
freedom within the limits our society
freedom within the limits our society says or if we are to remove
says or if we are to remove
says or if we are to remove categorization altogether one could say
categorization altogether one could say
categorization altogether one could say that this performer has simply found
that this performer has simply found
that this performer has simply found another means of expressing oneself my
another means of expressing oneself my
another means of expressing oneself my mother tells me a story of when my
mother tells me a story of when my
mother tells me a story of when my father would worry about my actions and
father would worry about my actions and
father would worry about my actions and how it came across not because he was
how it came across not because he was
how it came across not because he was ashamed but more that he wanted an
ashamed but more that he wanted an
ashamed but more that he wanted an easier time for me within the schoolyard
easier time for me within the schoolyard
easier time for me within the schoolyard I reflect on this and laugh now because
I reflect on this and laugh now because
I reflect on this and laugh now because I am standing here in front of you
I am standing here in front of you
I am standing here in front of you dressed as a woman and it is those
dressed as a woman and it is those
dressed as a woman and it is those actions and characteristics that were
actions and characteristics that were
actions and characteristics that were once suppressed that have now blossomed
once suppressed that have now blossomed
once suppressed that have now blossomed into expression within my chosen dance
into expression within my chosen dance
into expression within my chosen dance form of classical Indian dance called
form of classical Indian dance called
form of classical Indian dance called gut ik I as a gothic dancer and
gut ik I as a gothic dancer and
gut ik I as a gothic dancer and constantly portraying both men and women
constantly portraying both men and women
constantly portraying both men and women and through the art of abhinaya which is
and through the art of abhinaya which is
and through the art of abhinaya which is a part of gothic focusing on expression
a part of gothic focusing on expression
a part of gothic focusing on expression and gesture I have simply adorned the
and gesture I have simply adorned the
and gesture I have simply adorned the identity that I show and personified it
identity that I show and personified it
identity that I show and personified it I would now like to talk about the piece
I would now like to talk about the piece
I would now like to talk about the piece I’m going to perform and what it means
I’m going to perform and what it means
I’m going to perform and what it means to me the 1981 film Umrao Jaan
to me the 1981 film Umrao Jaan
to me the 1981 film Umrao Jaan shows the turmoil of a young girl who
shows the turmoil of a young girl who
shows the turmoil of a young girl who becomes the leading courtesan within her
becomes the leading courtesan within her
becomes the leading courtesan within her court and has many a love affair with a
court and has many a love affair with a
court and has many a love affair with a man her family and arguably with herself
man her family and arguably with herself
man her family and arguably with herself the piece I have chosen from the film is
the piece I have chosen from the film is
the piece I have chosen from the film is dilg’s gaya meaning what is the heart
dilg’s gaya meaning what is the heart
dilg’s gaya meaning what is the heart but explored a deeper feeling of what
but explored a deeper feeling of what
but explored a deeper feeling of what love is and what use is love when one
love is and what use is love when one
love is and what use is love when one knows not the characteristics of the
knows not the characteristics of the
knows not the characteristics of the heart what this performance means to me
heart what this performance means to me
heart what this performance means to me is that it allows me to not only express
is that it allows me to not only express
is that it allows me to not only express an idea or an emotion but it allows the
an idea or an emotion but it allows the
an idea or an emotion but it allows the femininity the upbringing provided by
femininity the upbringing provided by
femininity the upbringing provided by all the women of my family the strength
all the women of my family the strength
all the women of my family the strength the beauty that I’ve recognized with
the beauty that I’ve recognized with
the beauty that I’ve recognized with these women and within myself to be
these women and within myself to be
these women and within myself to be human I
human I
human I and personified for yourselves on this
and personified for yourselves on this
and personified for yourselves on this stage today it allows expression in its
stage today it allows expression in its
stage today it allows expression in its rawest form to have a platform where it
rawest form to have a platform where it
rawest form to have a platform where it can breathe judgement is rife in all we
can breathe judgement is rife in all we
can breathe judgement is rife in all we do in all we see in all we experience I
do in all we see in all we experience I
do in all we see in all we experience I am simply a young man who has been
am simply a young man who has been
am simply a young man who has been classically trained in the art form of
classically trained in the art form of
classically trained in the art form of Gothic and who has decided to take his
Gothic and who has decided to take his
Gothic and who has decided to take his training to a level where he feels
training to a level where he feels
training to a level where he feels comfortable and natural and that I
comfortable and natural and that I
comfortable and natural and that I ultimately I’m taking this art form and
ultimately I’m taking this art form and
ultimately I’m taking this art form and regenerating its history to and from a
regenerating its history to and from a
regenerating its history to and from a time where expression and representation
time where expression and representation
time where expression and representation was never more pure I would like to end
was never more pure I would like to end
was never more pure I would like to end by thanking TEDx and UCL women for
by thanking TEDx and UCL women for
by thanking TEDx and UCL women for allowing this event to happen and for
allowing this event to happen and for
allowing this event to happen and for asking me to be here today I would like
asking me to be here today I would like
asking me to be here today I would like to thank my gurus both Gauri showing my
to thank my gurus both Gauri showing my
to thank my gurus both Gauri showing my true body and Sujata Banerjee for
true body and Sujata Banerjee for
true body and Sujata Banerjee for exposing me to the world of Gothic and
exposing me to the world of Gothic and
exposing me to the world of Gothic and allowing me to completely embrace it in
allowing me to completely embrace it in
allowing me to completely embrace it in all of its forms and I’d like to thank
all of its forms and I’d like to thank
all of its forms and I’d like to thank you women I would like to thank women
you women I would like to thank women
you women I would like to thank women just for being beautiful just for being
just for being beautiful just for being
just for being beautiful just for being who you are
who you are
who you are and for allowing someone like me to
and for allowing someone like me to
and for allowing someone like me to really take your beauty and to try and
really take your beauty and to try and
really take your beauty and to try and show you exactly how I see you as
show you exactly how I see you as
show you exactly how I see you as beautiful successful strong individuals
beautiful successful strong individuals
beautiful successful strong individuals in society so the piece I’m going to
in society so the piece I’m going to
in society so the piece I’m going to present now is dilg’s gal hair from
present now is dilg’s gal hair from
present now is dilg’s gal hair from Umrao Jaan thank you
Umrao Jaan thank you
Umrao Jaan thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] ah
[Music]
[Music] ah
ah
ah [Music]
my
my [Music]
[Music]
[Music] Oh
you
you [Music]
ah
ah [Music]
be borrowed that it would
be borrowed that it would [Music]
[Music]
[Music] America Lincoln
Oh
Oh [Music]
the dardan money
the dardan money Oh
Oh
Oh [Music]
[Applause]
[Applause] you
you
you [Music]
”
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