What we are about to tell you could
it seems to be just about parents
and about children, and it is not.
The way we choose to relate to our lives
it depends on the impression we have of it.
It is very clear that these are our preconceived ideas,
that it’s about the stories others tell us and it’s about that
of the scenarios we do.
It is possible to hear a lot of times saying,
“You can not, you will not succeed, nothing will change.”
It’s about courage and fear.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the power to act
even when we are afraid.
Courage means taking responsibility
that we may sometimes be wrong.
But that does not mean giving up.
Courage is to want to do things
better and better, to accept
that we are not perfect and that’s ok.
It’s 20 years since I’ve been working with people, along with people and people,
and the most valuable thing I can do
for those around me is to instill their courage
to become their best variant.
I think this is our role as parents,
to raise children to become
adult and responsible adults who have a beautiful life.
Beyond our desires for them, beyond our ideals
and beyond our own limitations.
Our role as parents is to support them,
to find their own expression in life,
because they are not a personal project of ours,
and in no case the tool that we can fulfill our dreams
that I once had.
We have the duty of our children to instill courage,
to become their best variant,
and not a better variant of ours.
Decision and responsibility to have life
which they want, will once belong to them.
It is only necessary for us to equip them
with the necessary resources, and that means
to treat them with respect, with confidence, with compassion,
with honesty and with love.
Beyond what …
(Applause)
Beyond what we want them to make alive,
what job to have, where to work
and how much to win, we all know
that we would most happily enjoy them being happy with their lives.
I was 20 years old, I was a student in the first year,
freshly married and I was pregnant.
(Applause)
It did not seem so easy for me to applaud you now, huh?
That’s why I went to the doctor
and I said it was too hard for me,
is something I do not feel comfortable doing
and I want to make a pregnancy interruption,
to which my doctor said, “It can not be.”
Health … are risks …
You will never have children if you choose to do that.
I went home and I thought … what was I supposed to do?
I looked in the mirror and said,
“Ok, if I’m 30 years old, or whenever I want to have kids really,
can I still look in the mirror, can I assume that? “
No, I know what a test stone I am.
For that reason, joy that was born on time
is ada …
And it’s been 25 years since then.
Sure, it was very, very clear that I should
to ensure my child’s physical, mental and emotional health,
and that, that’s what I understand perfectly,
my role, in fact, is to raise a child to become
an autonomous adult and flying freely.
I had no habit, nor did I hold it in my hand
a child so small, ever in my life.
And I’ve decided since then, and I’ve managed to do that,
to try to put myself in her skin every time,
right for when in maternity
offered me to put earrings on her, I thought, “Wait a minute,
if I were a being coming into this world for three days,
how would I feel like taking my head,
to pinch my needles in my ears and put on earrings?
It seemed totally unacceptable to me,
the right for which I waited until she wanted earrings.
Ada: I remember I was three years old and I went in
in a jewel with my mother, and someone took my head and shot me
an earring in the ear with a special gun,
the moment I screamed and said I do not want earrings anymore.
Antonette: The difference was that he knew he was going to put his earrings and he wanted it
to do that, for which, ok, he had an earring in one ear,
does not write anywhere that people must have an earring in one ear,
two earrings in each ear, or many earrings.
Okay, you do not want earrings, we’re going home.
It’s just … I’ve given him the chance to decide on that.
First, look in a mirror and see
if she goes home with an earring or two earrings.
The decision was hers, she was aware that she was making a decision,
whatever it was, and I will respect that decision.
Ada: I chose two earrings and I did not comment on anything.
The next episode is about trust.
I am 6 years old on the bus with my mother
and I confess that I smoked,
to which my mother says that the company makes available …
What you said?
The company makes available to individuals
temptations, so the strong ones
to be chosen from the weak.
Obviously what is that society, what is that individual,
what’s that put on … what?
We did not understand, we’re still arguing about this.
She thinks I understand.
After 10 years, I started smoking, as proof that I did not understand anything,
but I understand that I can talk to my mother,
and that no matter what happens to me, she’s there for me.
With what we’ve been after this over time
is that no matter the relationships I have
and that you also have, friendship, family, love,
when a situation occurs,
it is important to relate to that situation.
Of course she was injured and worried and scared
and, I am convinced, angry at me, that I smoked at 6,
but at that moment my mother did not report the fears
and to her pride, but it was reported
to a 6 year old who smokes and has a problem.
Most of the time we block ourselves when we are afraid
because we want certain things, we have the impression that we know better.
Okay, in the case of smoking it was pretty clear,
but our reactions can come from fear,
our exaggerated reactions, by me, I know, screams, not exactly fit,
is our fear there,
and this fear may disappear at the moment
in which we trust to talk about that situation
and it’s important to be honest.
Obviously the next episode is about sincerity.
I’m 10 years old, my parents call me
on the balcony and tell me they’ll divorce.
Of course it hurt me, of course I’m left
with trauma and drama that I will not have them anymore
together at once.
But I did not have the impression that it was my fault,
I did not have the impression that I could have done something
that they may remain together, and we are not left
nor with the sentiment of helplessness that lies lie to you
or omission of truth.
I knew why my parents divorced,
as I was able to explain, I was very much explained,
and because we like to do things in the long run,
I realized in time that it was the responsibility
partners forming a couple, relationship,
and that it’s important for the other to wake up
with the thought, with the desire to make your day a better partner.
When I do that,
is what I would like to tell the young people I meet.
And now we’re about to talk about a while
which is a great challenge, it’s about adolescence.
Children are lovely beings,
who want to be aligned, who respond to comforters,
and suddenly turns into beasts
who feed on parents’ nerves.
During that period, which lasted for us
6 months. Yes … 6 months!
6 months in which, in fact, somehow I had fled
from what I knew and know and it is important.
I was away from respect, I was somehow away from trust,
because I could no longer deal with sighs,
Jesus
Whatever!
eyes over your head.
Finally!
Yeah!
I was scandalized and horrified, I felt
in my turn hurt in pride, for which reason
the moment I left in the morning
with eyes in tears in the office after a scandal I said Stop play!
It’s time to make a change! It is necessary to make a change
and in my behavior,
so that I get a change in her behavior.
It was my decision to be quieter,
it was my decision to focus on things
which are really important.
Yeah!
And let me not be provoked any more.
It was my decision to remember the way I did
when I was a teenager.
The only difference was that I did not even
I do not want to tell my mother what I think.
Teens … No! Adults think about adolescents
that they want to hold absolute truth and absolute justice.
Well, when the adult does this,
he has the impression that he has the right and the absolute truth.
Besides the things I do, I work with adolescents.
I like to do this and I wish
to dedicate them very much to young people.
It’s very important to me like them
to leave the workshop
having more confidence in them and confidence in what they can do.
Adolescents and young people are in conflict with the world, they are revolted,
they deny it and want to change it.
Because young people are right,
because the world needs to be changed,
and because the only opposition
is our preconception on the world.
We often forget about principles
when we are afraid.
And we can be afraid
when our child takes the first steps,
when going to exams,
or the first time he gets in the car
after he took his driver’s license.
But it’s important to figure out where our behavior comes from,
if it comes from this fear,
or if it comes from the courage we can find in us,
because it’s there, to trust.
Our children need to be accepted as they are,
they need to be seen as they are
and they need to be courageous
to become what they want themselves alive.
Our job as parents is because of childhood
which they had, or in spite of it,
they are happy with their lives.
Personally, I do not think there are any differences
between the adult and the younger words.
Perhaps only as terms and how to write.
Every individual conflicts with the world and struggles.
When he quits or captures,
it does nothing but place responsibility
for what is happening to her outside and becomes an adult.
An adult he despised when he was a teenager,
an adult who is actually a teenager
much more frustrated than when he was a teenager.
If you give up the fight, do not force your teenager
or the young man to do it, and especially,
do not force your teenager or young man from you
to give up fighting and dreams.
Be a teenager and a lot of courage!
Thank you!
”
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