Achieving the “Impossible”: Lessons from a Deaf Woman | Rebecca Dadey | TEDxOnondagaCommunityCollege

hello I’m here today to give you a

hello I’m here today to give you a glimpse into my life as a deaf woman I

glimpse into my life as a deaf woman I

glimpse into my life as a deaf woman I want to discuss a few life events things

want to discuss a few life events things

want to discuss a few life events things that have given me the motivation and

that have given me the motivation and

that have given me the motivation and the determination to dare to defy and

the determination to dare to defy and

the determination to dare to defy and achieve what others might think is

achieve what others might think is

achieve what others might think is impossible I have the blessing of having

impossible I have the blessing of having

impossible I have the blessing of having been born deaf it’s a gift from God my

been born deaf it’s a gift from God my

been born deaf it’s a gift from God my parents were both hearing but my

parents were both hearing but my

parents were both hearing but my grandparents on my father’s side or both

grandparents on my father’s side or both

grandparents on my father’s side or both deaf their lives were marked with

deaf their lives were marked with

deaf their lives were marked with struggle and sacrifice because both of

struggle and sacrifice because both of

struggle and sacrifice because both of them were exclusively oral which means

them were exclusively oral which means

them were exclusively oral which means in the deaf world that they were not

in the deaf world that they were not

in the deaf world that they were not given access to a signed language that

given access to a signed language that

given access to a signed language that led to a life rife with frustration and

led to a life rife with frustration and

led to a life rife with frustration and struggle my parents recognized that and

struggle my parents recognized that and

struggle my parents recognized that and took that into consideration when they

took that into consideration when they

took that into consideration when they were making decisions about my

were making decisions about my

were making decisions about my upbringing and that I had to be exposed

upbringing and that I had to be exposed

upbringing and that I had to be exposed to a full language sign language to be

to a full language sign language to be

to a full language sign language to be exact

exact

exact many people think that sign language is

many people think that sign language is

many people think that sign language is just another version of English but it

just another version of English but it

just another version of English but it is its own language with a unique syntax

is its own language with a unique syntax

is its own language with a unique syntax and structure it is not the same as

and structure it is not the same as

and structure it is not the same as English so when my parents made that

English so when my parents made that

English so when my parents made that decision that was their first step in

decision that was their first step in

decision that was their first step in helping me to dare to defy and achieve

helping me to dare to defy and achieve

helping me to dare to defy and achieve the so-called impossible I was

the so-called impossible I was

the so-called impossible I was identified as deaf when I was 8 months

identified as deaf when I was 8 months

identified as deaf when I was 8 months old when doctors approached my parents

old when doctors approached my parents

old when doctors approached my parents to give them that information they also

to give them that information they also

to give them that information they also said that I would never read beyond a

said that I would never read beyond a

said that I would never read beyond a fourth-grade level you can safely assume

fourth-grade level you can safely assume

fourth-grade level you can safely assume that the message that they were sending

that the message that they were sending

that the message that they were sending was that I would also never be

was that I would also never be

was that I would also never be college-bound thankfully my parents had

college-bound thankfully my parents had

college-bound thankfully my parents had the good sense to defy that doctor the

next step that my parents took was to

next step that my parents took was to build a strong support system for me

build a strong support system for me

build a strong support system for me they dared to defy because I can’t do

they dared to defy because I can’t do

they dared to defy because I can’t do that alone

that alone

that alone it’s too much of a challenge to dare to

it’s too much of a challenge to dare to

it’s too much of a challenge to dare to defy alone you need to have a strong

defy alone you need to have a strong

defy alone you need to have a strong support system of people with shared

support system of people with shared

support system of people with shared values and beliefs so my parents would

values and beliefs so my parents would

values and beliefs so my parents would bring me to different events in

bring me to different events in

bring me to different events in different places one of which was

different places one of which was

different places one of which was Gallaudet University in Washington DC

Gallaudet University in Washington DC

Gallaudet University in Washington DC there we met other families who had deaf

there we met other families who had deaf

there we met other families who had deaf children in forged strong bonds with

children in forged strong bonds with

children in forged strong bonds with those families and their shared values I

those families and their shared values I

those families and their shared values I was also given the crucial exposure to

was also given the crucial exposure to

was also given the crucial exposure to deaf adults that I needed

deaf adults that I needed

deaf adults that I needed they were my role models and they taught

they were my role models and they taught

they were my role models and they taught me about my own deaf culture those early

me about my own deaf culture those early

me about my own deaf culture those early days of my life had a strong impact on

days of my life had a strong impact on

days of my life had a strong impact on Who I am now as a deaf woman Nelson

Who I am now as a deaf woman Nelson

Who I am now as a deaf woman Nelson Mandela has this quote that’s so

Mandela has this quote that’s so

Mandela has this quote that’s so appropriate education is the most

appropriate education is the most

appropriate education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to

powerful weapon which you can use to

powerful weapon which you can use to change the world

and remember what the doctors told my

and remember what the doctors told my parents I already had a strong

parents I already had a strong

parents I already had a strong foundation with a signed language the

foundation with a signed language the

foundation with a signed language the next step was to learn English it was

next step was to learn English it was

next step was to learn English it was essential to be bilingual and literate

my parents felt that the best way to

my parents felt that the best way to achieve that was through education and

achieve that was through education and

achieve that was through education and instilling a love of reading when I was

instilling a love of reading when I was

instilling a love of reading when I was young I took to reading I would read

young I took to reading I would read

young I took to reading I would read book after book and it opened my mind to

book after book and it opened my mind to

book after book and it opened my mind to the world

now my parents felt that education

now my parents felt that education wasn’t limited to the classroom

wasn’t limited to the classroom

wasn’t limited to the classroom education was present in the world

education was present in the world

education was present in the world around us so growing up they would take

around us so growing up they would take

around us so growing up they would take my sister and I every summer on family

my sister and I every summer on family

my sister and I every summer on family camping trips all over the US and one

camping trips all over the US and one

camping trips all over the US and one year we even flew to Europe for vacation

year we even flew to Europe for vacation

year we even flew to Europe for vacation those trips allowed me to see and

those trips allowed me to see and

those trips allowed me to see and experience famous national historic

experience famous national historic

experience famous national historic landmarks and the places that I had

landmarks and the places that I had

landmarks and the places that I had learned about in the books that I had

learned about in the books that I had

learned about in the books that I had read allowed me to make connections with

read allowed me to make connections with

read allowed me to make connections with those places that I was experiencing I

did Lee learn in the classroom but it

did Lee learn in the classroom but it was connected to my experiences in real

was connected to my experiences in real

was connected to my experiences in real life so do you see what’s happening by

life so do you see what’s happening by

life so do you see what’s happening by not being sheltered all of those

not being sheltered all of those

not being sheltered all of those synapses allowed my brain to grow and

synapses allowed my brain to grow and

synapses allowed my brain to grow and develop because my parents dared to defy

develop because my parents dared to defy

develop because my parents dared to defy the doctors and that allowed me to

the doctors and that allowed me to

the doctors and that allowed me to achieve what other people might think

achieve what other people might think

achieve what other people might think was impossible so with two languages and

was impossible so with two languages and

was impossible so with two languages and all of my worldly experiences I was able

all of my worldly experiences I was able

all of my worldly experiences I was able to thrive my school years were full of

to thrive my school years were full of

to thrive my school years were full of learning and continuing to exceed

learning and continuing to exceed

learning and continuing to exceed expectations of me I went to the

expectations of me I went to the

expectations of me I went to the University of Virginia where I graduated

University of Virginia where I graduated

University of Virginia where I graduated with honors and after that I went on to

with honors and after that I went on to

with honors and after that I went on to get my master’s degree this solidified

get my master’s degree this solidified

get my master’s degree this solidified my Center and identity as a deaf woman

my Center and identity as a deaf woman

my Center and identity as a deaf woman ready to take on the world

now in the years since and still to this

now in the years since and still to this day in 2016 from time to time I’ll

day in 2016 from time to time I’ll

day in 2016 from time to time I’ll encounter people who seemed to have

encounter people who seemed to have

encounter people who seemed to have these stereotypical low expectations of

these stereotypical low expectations of

these stereotypical low expectations of what’s possible for deaf people I’ve had

what’s possible for deaf people I’ve had

what’s possible for deaf people I’ve had someone ask me if I need assistance

someone ask me if I need assistance

someone ask me if I need assistance crossing the street

crossing the street

crossing the street I’ve had someone else ask me if I need

I’ve had someone else ask me if I need

I’ve had someone else ask me if I need someone to drive me to the grocery store

someone to drive me to the grocery store

someone to drive me to the grocery store and help me do my shopping there’s even

and help me do my shopping there’s even

and help me do my shopping there’s even a doctor who said straight to my face

a doctor who said straight to my face

a doctor who said straight to my face that he assumed that I couldn’t work

that he assumed that I couldn’t work

that he assumed that I couldn’t work because I was deaf

I’ve been dejected I’ve been treated

I’ve been dejected I’ve been treated unfairly and I’m not alone in those

unfairly and I’m not alone in those

unfairly and I’m not alone in those experiences all over the world there are

experiences all over the world there are

experiences all over the world there are deaf people who goes through the same

deaf people who goes through the same

deaf people who goes through the same thing and have the same stories of false

thing and have the same stories of false

thing and have the same stories of false assumptions placed on them by society

but throughout my life and having my

but throughout my life and having my strong Center I’m able to greet those

strong Center I’m able to greet those

strong Center I’m able to greet those individuals with a smile and defy their

individuals with a smile and defy their

individuals with a smile and defy their incorrect assumptions to reframe and

incorrect assumptions to reframe and

incorrect assumptions to reframe and give them a full picture of the

give them a full picture of the

give them a full picture of the possibilities available to deaf people

so each person including myself has that

so each person including myself has that one thing inside them that really stirs

one thing inside them that really stirs

one thing inside them that really stirs up unsettled feelings and puts them out

up unsettled feelings and puts them out

up unsettled feelings and puts them out of their comfort zone each person also

of their comfort zone each person also

of their comfort zone each person also has a choice

has a choice

has a choice they can stay in that comfort zone and

they can stay in that comfort zone and

they can stay in that comfort zone and move through their daily life or they

move through their daily life or they

move through their daily life or they can decide to take a risk

can decide to take a risk

can decide to take a risk step out of that comfort zone and become

step out of that comfort zone and become

step out of that comfort zone and become stronger because of it throughout

stronger because of it throughout

stronger because of it throughout everything I’ve learned in my life I’ve

everything I’ve learned in my life I’ve

everything I’ve learned in my life I’ve known that it will be full of obstacles

known that it will be full of obstacles

known that it will be full of obstacles and challenges but you have to be strong

and challenges but you have to be strong

and challenges but you have to be strong to face those challenges every time I

to face those challenges every time I

to face those challenges every time I take a step out of my comfort zone I

take a step out of my comfort zone I

take a step out of my comfort zone I become stronger and my life becomes

become stronger and my life becomes

become stronger and my life becomes richer let me give you an example

I’ve always been an athlete throughout

I’ve always been an athlete throughout my life but cycling has always proved to

my life but cycling has always proved to

my life but cycling has always proved to be a mental challenge for me there’s

be a mental challenge for me there’s

be a mental challenge for me there’s just something about being on that bike

just something about being on that bike

just something about being on that bike with two narrow wheels locked into these

with two narrow wheels locked into these

with two narrow wheels locked into these pedals on a busy road not knowing when

pedals on a busy road not knowing when

pedals on a busy road not knowing when cars are gonna come up behind me that

cars are gonna come up behind me that

cars are gonna come up behind me that makes me feel very nervous and out of my

makes me feel very nervous and out of my

makes me feel very nervous and out of my comfort zone three years ago I got

comfort zone three years ago I got

comfort zone three years ago I got involved with triathlons and that woman

involved with triathlons and that woman

involved with triathlons and that woman who had previously been seen on the road

who had previously been seen on the road

who had previously been seen on the road with white knuckles limiting myself to

with white knuckles limiting myself to

with white knuckles limiting myself to 10 or 15 miles at a time is now gone

10 or 15 miles at a time is now gone

10 or 15 miles at a time is now gone this year I made the decision to

this year I made the decision to

this year I made the decision to challenge myself and do something that I

challenge myself and do something that I

challenge myself and do something that I thought would be impossible I signed up

thought would be impossible I signed up

thought would be impossible I signed up for a Half Ironman distance triathlon

for a Half Ironman distance triathlon

for a Half Ironman distance triathlon the biking leg alone was 56 miles so for

the biking leg alone was 56 miles so for

the biking leg alone was 56 miles so for five grueling months I trained and

five grueling months I trained and

five grueling months I trained and trained some more slowly my fears were

trained some more slowly my fears were

trained some more slowly my fears were allayed I was able to increase my

allayed I was able to increase my

allayed I was able to increase my endurance and two weeks ago I

endurance and two weeks ago I

endurance and two weeks ago I successfully completed the Niagara Falls

successfully completed the Niagara Falls

successfully completed the Niagara Falls barrel man triathlon you see in the

barrel man triathlon you see in the

barrel man triathlon you see in the picture I’m coming around the bend on my

picture I’m coming around the bend on my

picture I’m coming around the bend on my bike ready to dismount with a huge grin

bike ready to dismount with a huge grin

bike ready to dismount with a huge grin and no white knuckles I was so proud of

and no white knuckles I was so proud of

and no white knuckles I was so proud of myself for having challenged myself to

myself for having challenged myself to

myself for having challenged myself to step out of that box and I feel like my

step out of that box and I feel like my

step out of that box and I feel like my life has gotten better because of it

life has gotten better because of it

life has gotten better because of it so for the last lesson today we have a

so for the last lesson today we have a

so for the last lesson today we have a well-known proverb give a man a fish

well-known proverb give a man a fish

well-known proverb give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day but teach

and you’ll feed him for a day but teach

and you’ll feed him for a day but teach a man to fish and you feed him for a

a man to fish and you feed him for a

a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime everything that I’ve learned

lifetime everything that I’ve learned

lifetime everything that I’ve learned and experienced all the gifts from God

and experienced all the gifts from God

and experienced all the gifts from God that I’ve gotten are things I shouldn’t

that I’ve gotten are things I shouldn’t

that I’ve gotten are things I shouldn’t keep to myself that wouldn’t be right

keep to myself that wouldn’t be right

keep to myself that wouldn’t be right I’ve made the decision to share with all

I’ve made the decision to share with all

I’ve made the decision to share with all of you and you too can dare to defy and

of you and you too can dare to defy and

of you and you too can dare to defy and achieve what others may think is

achieve what others may think is

achieve what others may think is impossible for you every day I love

impossible for you every day I love

impossible for you every day I love going to work I walk into my classroom I

going to work I walk into my classroom I

going to work I walk into my classroom I see these enthusiastic young minds ready

see these enthusiastic young minds ready

see these enthusiastic young minds ready to learn I chose to become an educator

to learn I chose to become an educator

to learn I chose to become an educator so that I can influence these students

so that I can influence these students

so that I can influence these students in the way that they see the world here

in the way that they see the world here

in the way that they see the world here at Onondaga Community College students

at Onondaga Community College students

at Onondaga Community College students come into my classroom and I encourage

come into my classroom and I encourage

come into my classroom and I encourage them to develop and become future allies

them to develop and become future allies

them to develop and become future allies of the deaf community the way I do that

of the deaf community the way I do that

of the deaf community the way I do that is by giving a part of myself as a deaf

is by giving a part of myself as a deaf

is by giving a part of myself as a deaf woman as an example for them and

woman as an example for them and

woman as an example for them and inviting them into my deaf world the

inviting them into my deaf world the

inviting them into my deaf world the things that they learn and begin to

things that they learn and begin to

things that they learn and begin to understand like what’s really possible

understand like what’s really possible

understand like what’s really possible for deaf people and what it means to be

for deaf people and what it means to be

for deaf people and what it means to be deaf their learning isn’t done when they

deaf their learning isn’t done when they

deaf their learning isn’t done when they leave my classroom they go out into the

leave my classroom they go out into the

leave my classroom they go out into the world and when they hear society’s false

world and when they hear society’s false

world and when they hear society’s false assumptions and lowered expectations

assumptions and lowered expectations

assumptions and lowered expectations negative stereotypes they’re able to

negative stereotypes they’re able to

negative stereotypes they’re able to reframe those they become our allies and

reframe those they become our allies and

reframe those they become our allies and in the end the world is a better place

in the end the world is a better place

in the end the world is a better place for all of us because of it last but

for all of us because of it last but

for all of us because of it last but certainly not least my husband and I

certainly not least my husband and I

certainly not least my husband and I choose to live our lives every day

choose to live our lives every day

choose to live our lives every day setting an example for our three

setting an example for our three

setting an example for our three beautiful children

every day we challenge ourselves to work

every day we challenge ourselves to work hard and to achieve our own goals our

hard and to achieve our own goals our

hard and to achieve our own goals our children watch us and they learn from

children watch us and they learn from

children watch us and they learn from that each of them are unique individuals

only God knows what the future holds for

only God knows what the future holds for each of them the best thing that I can

each of them the best thing that I can

each of them the best thing that I can do is to just continue to work hard and

do is to just continue to work hard and

do is to just continue to work hard and show them and help guide them to learn

show them and help guide them to learn

show them and help guide them to learn how to achieve their own goals so I hope

how to achieve their own goals so I hope

how to achieve their own goals so I hope that all of you will take the time today

that all of you will take the time today

that all of you will take the time today tomorrow next week to think to

tomorrow next week to think to

tomorrow next week to think to yourselves what dare to defy means what

yourselves what dare to defy means what

yourselves what dare to defy means what does it mean to you don’t be afraid to

does it mean to you don’t be afraid to

does it mean to you don’t be afraid to achieve what you may think is impossible

achieve what you may think is impossible

achieve what you may think is impossible I’m going to close with one last quote

I’m going to close with one last quote

I’m going to close with one last quote from Nelson Mandela it always seems

from Nelson Mandela it always seems

from Nelson Mandela it always seems impossible until it’s done thank you

impossible until it’s done thank you

impossible until it’s done thank you you