growing up my life was normal each morning I would awaken to the smell
each morning I would awaken to the smell
each morning I would awaken to the smell my 20 year old brothers urine-soaked
my 20 year old brothers urine-soaked
my 20 year old brothers urine-soaked diaper knowing each diaper change was a
diaper knowing each diaper change was a
diaper knowing each diaper change was a fist fight in waiting my adopted
fist fight in waiting my adopted
fist fight in waiting my adopted disabled siblings need a lot of care
disabled siblings need a lot of care
disabled siblings need a lot of care cleaning out bowels and bed sores
cleaning out bowels and bed sores
cleaning out bowels and bed sores suctioning vomit from an aspirating
suctioning vomit from an aspirating
suctioning vomit from an aspirating sister feeding through a hole in the
sister feeding through a hole in the
sister feeding through a hole in the stomach
stomach
stomach these were my daily chores my normal
looking back I see the many ways my
looking back I see the many ways my mother tried to make us look normal from
mother tried to make us look normal from
mother tried to make us look normal from the outside but to me it was all normal
the outside but to me it was all normal
the outside but to me it was all normal so when my teachers asked how many
so when my teachers asked how many
so when my teachers asked how many people lived in my house I included the
people lived in my house I included the
people lived in my house I included the homeless person my mother said lived in
homeless person my mother said lived in
homeless person my mother said lived in our rafters and when I was sick it was
our rafters and when I was sick it was
our rafters and when I was sick it was because of the spies who laced our hand
because of the spies who laced our hand
because of the spies who laced our hand towels with pathogens and when I had an
towels with pathogens and when I had an
towels with pathogens and when I had an accident in my pants because because of
accident in my pants because because of
accident in my pants because because of the nurse put bleach in our ice cube
the nurse put bleach in our ice cube
the nurse put bleach in our ice cube tray I know why I’m here to do the dirty
tray I know why I’m here to do the dirty
tray I know why I’m here to do the dirty work that my mother can no longer do but
work that my mother can no longer do but
work that my mother can no longer do but needed to have done to get money from
needed to have done to get money from
needed to have done to get money from the state and she didn’t hesitate to
the state and she didn’t hesitate to
the state and she didn’t hesitate to remind me of her successful family
remind me of her successful family
remind me of her successful family planning the adults around me thought I
planning the adults around me thought I
planning the adults around me thought I had an overactive imagination and I was
had an overactive imagination and I was
had an overactive imagination and I was saying these outrageous things to get
saying these outrageous things to get
saying these outrageous things to get attention never did they consider that
attention never did they consider that
attention never did they consider that was being fed a fabricated reality
was being fed a fabricated reality
was being fed a fabricated reality directly from my paranoid mentally ill
directly from my paranoid mentally ill
directly from my paranoid mentally ill mother confused wondering why no one
mother confused wondering why no one
mother confused wondering why no one would believe the reality I was living I
would believe the reality I was living I
would believe the reality I was living I was left to face my reality alone as a
was left to face my reality alone as a
was left to face my reality alone as a child your world is created by your
child your world is created by your
child your world is created by your parents and if your experience in that
parents and if your experience in that
parents and if your experience in that world is painful and stressful then you
world is painful and stressful then you
world is painful and stressful then you go your whole life believing that the
go your whole life believing that the
go your whole life believing that the world is just a painful stressful place
world is just a painful stressful place
world is just a painful stressful place to live
so come middle in high school I know I
so come middle in high school I know I can’t take this life much longer since
can’t take this life much longer since
can’t take this life much longer since this is normal I must be the problem my
this is normal I must be the problem my
this is normal I must be the problem my bleeding ulcers plate my bleeding ulcers
bleeding ulcers plate my bleeding ulcers
bleeding ulcers plate my bleeding ulcers painful shingles and tormented
painful shingles and tormented
painful shingles and tormented flashbacks
flashbacks
flashbacks just signs that I can’t handle living
just signs that I can’t handle living
just signs that I can’t handle living life like everyone else can so I knew
life like everyone else can so I knew
life like everyone else can so I knew Sakurada belt around my neck and tie it
Sakurada belt around my neck and tie it
Sakurada belt around my neck and tie it in the closet and slowly slip out of
in the closet and slowly slip out of
in the closet and slowly slip out of consciousness never able to imagine a
consciousness never able to imagine a
consciousness never able to imagine a better life and somehow the next morning
better life and somehow the next morning
better life and somehow the next morning I wake up wondering why God left me here
I wake up wondering why God left me here
I wake up wondering why God left me here and then my whole world changed let’s go
and then my whole world changed let’s go
and then my whole world changed let’s go back to my last normal night
back to my last normal night
back to my last normal night my grandma struggles to stand only to
my grandma struggles to stand only to
my grandma struggles to stand only to collapse from another hit and kick from
collapse from another hit and kick from
collapse from another hit and kick from my mother my mother says their
my mother my mother says their
my mother my mother says their motivation for her to learn to stand by
motivation for her to learn to stand by
motivation for her to learn to stand by herself but she never could her agony
herself but she never could her agony
herself but she never could her agony continues for hours and in the morning I
continues for hours and in the morning I
continues for hours and in the morning I find her dead in her bed with the face
find her dead in her bed with the face
find her dead in her bed with the face locked in horror now she’s freed from my
locked in horror now she’s freed from my
locked in horror now she’s freed from my mother and my mother’s freed from her I
mother and my mother’s freed from her I
mother and my mother’s freed from her I like to think of my grandma as a martyr
like to think of my grandma as a martyr
like to think of my grandma as a martyr her death led to my freedom the question
her death led to my freedom the question
her death led to my freedom the question surrounding her cause of death and my
surrounding her cause of death and my
surrounding her cause of death and my mother’s obvious motive initiated
mother’s obvious motive initiated
mother’s obvious motive initiated investigations into what was happening
investigations into what was happening
investigations into what was happening in my house
slowly my eyes began to open to the
slowly my eyes began to open to the truth I started to see the ways that the
truth I started to see the ways that the
truth I started to see the ways that the pain of my life could go away and I
pain of my life could go away and I
pain of my life could go away and I began to get hopeful so one day I go for
began to get hopeful so one day I go for
began to get hopeful so one day I go for it I do the one thing I’ve been taught
it I do the one thing I’ve been taught
it I do the one thing I’ve been taught never to do I talk about what’s
never to do I talk about what’s
never to do I talk about what’s happening in the house a social worker
happening in the house a social worker
happening in the house a social worker came to my school to ask me questions
came to my school to ask me questions
came to my school to ask me questions and I told her at my grandma’s suffering
and I told her at my grandma’s suffering
and I told her at my grandma’s suffering the whole time feeling scared while
the whole time feeling scared while
the whole time feeling scared while hoping to god that she could hear me and
hoping to god that she could hear me and
hoping to god that she could hear me and do something well she heard me and she
do something well she heard me and she
do something well she heard me and she did something walking through the front
did something walking through the front
did something walking through the front door of my house
door of my house
door of my house I hear her there laughing with my mother
I hear her there laughing with my mother
I hear her there laughing with my mother divulging all that I confided in her and
divulging all that I confided in her and
divulging all that I confided in her and then she gives my mother some advice he
then she gives my mother some advice he
then she gives my mother some advice he needs to be strictly discipline so he
needs to be strictly discipline so he
needs to be strictly discipline so he knows never to do this again knowing the
knows never to do this again knowing the
knows never to do this again knowing the unfathomable punishment that awaited
unfathomable punishment that awaited
unfathomable punishment that awaited Iran and even the social workers were
Iran and even the social workers were
Iran and even the social workers were not friends with my mother could do
not friends with my mother could do
not friends with my mother could do little to help they looked for signs of
little to help they looked for signs of
little to help they looked for signs of physical abuse but we had no scars
physical abuse but we had no scars
physical abuse but we had no scars my mother boasted of her tricks not to
my mother boasted of her tricks not to
my mother boasted of her tricks not to leave suspicious marks tricks she
leave suspicious marks tricks she
leave suspicious marks tricks she learned on the job as a Child Protective
learned on the job as a Child Protective
learned on the job as a Child Protective Services social worker herself so they
Services social worker herself so they
Services social worker herself so they asked me if I was abused and I said no
how was I to know that my mother treated
how was I to know that my mother treated us any differently than any other
us any differently than any other
us any differently than any other child’s mother and they asked me if my
child’s mother and they asked me if my
child’s mother and they asked me if my mother hurt me
mother hurt me
mother hurt me and I said no as I thought she protected
and I said no as I thought she protected
and I said no as I thought she protected us from the world that was against us
us from the world that was against us
us from the world that was against us both how was I to know she was the one
both how was I to know she was the one
both how was I to know she was the one putting the bleach and ice cubes and
putting the bleach and ice cubes and
putting the bleach and ice cubes and besides I grew up being taught to be
besides I grew up being taught to be
besides I grew up being taught to be afraid of social workers because they
afraid of social workers because they
afraid of social workers because they were always trying to take me away from
were always trying to take me away from
were always trying to take me away from my family my friends so I said no a
trial ensued
trial ensued just like clockwork the social workers
just like clockwork the social workers
just like clockwork the social workers forget to file something or some other
forget to file something or some other
forget to file something or some other reason for delay delay after delay after
reason for delay delay after delay after
reason for delay delay after delay after delay this goes on for almost a year the
delay this goes on for almost a year the
delay this goes on for almost a year the system is failing we are failing we’re
system is failing we are failing we’re
system is failing we are failing we’re failing our foster youth growing up in a
failing our foster youth growing up in a
failing our foster youth growing up in a fabricated reality that you believe is
fabricated reality that you believe is
fabricated reality that you believe is normal it’s like living in a world full
normal it’s like living in a world full
normal it’s like living in a world full of grey tones when all of a sudden you
of grey tones when all of a sudden you
of grey tones when all of a sudden you see a flash of something like glistening
see a flash of something like glistening
see a flash of something like glistening red apples you see color for the first
red apples you see color for the first
red apples you see color for the first time you catch a glimpse of what normal
time you catch a glimpse of what normal
time you catch a glimpse of what normal could be if you only live without color
could be if you only live without color
could be if you only live without color you would never know it and there are
you would never know it and there are
you would never know it and there are millions of foster youth living in a
millions of foster youth living in a
millions of foster youth living in a gray bleak world statistics show that in
gray bleak world statistics show that in
gray bleak world statistics show that in the United States that we are on a
the United States that we are on a
the United States that we are on a trajectory towards a life of personal
trajectory towards a life of personal
trajectory towards a life of personal misery and societal drain but it doesn’t
misery and societal drain but it doesn’t
misery and societal drain but it doesn’t have to be this way currently fostered
have to be this way currently fostered
have to be this way currently fostered children experience post-traumatic
children experience post-traumatic
children experience post-traumatic stress disorder at rates similar to war
stress disorder at rates similar to war
stress disorder at rates similar to war veterans 500 percent more than the
veterans 500 percent more than the
veterans 500 percent more than the general population
general population
general population at age 21 only half of us have a job of
at age 21 only half of us have a job of
at age 21 only half of us have a job of the half who do three out of four makes
the half who do three out of four makes
the half who do three out of four makes less than 25 thousand a year for boys
less than 25 thousand a year for boys
less than 25 thousand a year for boys leaving foster care they are arrested at
leaving foster care they are arrested at
leaving foster care they are arrested at rates four times that of other boys and
rates four times that of other boys and
rates four times that of other boys and four girls they’re arrested ten times
four girls they’re arrested ten times
four girls they’re arrested ten times that of other girls by the age 21 over a
that of other girls by the age 21 over a
that of other girls by the age 21 over a third of those girls will been pregnant
the children leaving foster care and
the children leaving foster care and landing in jail or living in poverty are
landing in jail or living in poverty are
landing in jail or living in poverty are simply continuing their idea of a normal
simply continuing their idea of a normal
simply continuing their idea of a normal life stuck in a cycle of desperation if
life stuck in a cycle of desperation if
life stuck in a cycle of desperation if they do not know any better and how can
they do not know any better and how can
they do not know any better and how can we strive for better
we strive for better
we strive for better and even if they eventually realize
and even if they eventually realize
and even if they eventually realize their immense potential there are
their immense potential there are
their immense potential there are institutional barriers to them achieving
institutional barriers to them achieving
institutional barriers to them achieving success so what can we do to help foster
success so what can we do to help foster
success so what can we do to help foster youth achieve their immense potential
youth achieve their immense potential
youth achieve their immense potential listen listen to what they’re so
listen listen to what they’re so
listen listen to what they’re so desperately trying to tell you believe
desperately trying to tell you believe
desperately trying to tell you believe believe what they tell you believe in
believe what they tell you believe in
believe what they tell you believe in them and to do all this you must see the
them and to do all this you must see the
them and to do all this you must see the world from their perspective the system
world from their perspective the system
world from their perspective the system and its social workers speak an entirely
and its social workers speak an entirely
and its social workers speak an entirely different language than these children
even if we cannot tell you the truth of
even if we cannot tell you the truth of our abuse we are telling you the only
our abuse we are telling you the only
our abuse we are telling you the only truth that we know which is not I am
truth that we know which is not I am
truth that we know which is not I am being physically emotionally and
being physically emotionally and
being physically emotionally and sexually abused per California well
sexually abused per California well
sexually abused per California well friends to go 300 AC and D know our
friends to go 300 AC and D know our
friends to go 300 AC and D know our truth is that if that mom says if we
truth is that if that mom says if we
truth is that if that mom says if we tell you our secrets then we’ll be never
tell you our secrets then we’ll be never
tell you our secrets then we’ll be never allowed to see her or my brothers my
allowed to see her or my brothers my
allowed to see her or my brothers my sisters my friends again how are we to
sisters my friends again how are we to
sisters my friends again how are we to know how someone should and shouldn’t
know how someone should and shouldn’t
know how someone should and shouldn’t touch us that doors are allowed to be
touch us that doors are allowed to be
touch us that doors are allowed to be shut that our lives are worth living
those who see the world in color may be
those who see the world in color may be amazed that there are some of us out
amazed that there are some of us out
amazed that there are some of us out there who can’t and we never will not
there who can’t and we never will not
there who can’t and we never will not until someone steps out of their normal
to see the world from our perspective to
to see the world from our perspective to introduce us to the world of color
she heard past my confusion she listened
she heard past my confusion she listened to me she believed in me she told me
to me she believed in me she told me
to me she believed in me she told me that I had a future that I had a life
that I had a future that I had a life
that I had a future that I had a life worth living and she came to the courts
worth living and she came to the courts
worth living and she came to the courts and she offered me a room in her home
and she offered me a room in her home
and she offered me a room in her home and then adopted me and became my mom
[Applause]
[Applause] it was because of her I began to gather
it was because of her I began to gather
it was because of her I began to gather the pieces of my life I test out of high
the pieces of my life I test out of high
the pieces of my life I test out of high school I got a job and went to a
school I got a job and went to a
school I got a job and went to a community college and within two years I
community college and within two years I
community college and within two years I cope I co-founded the county’s first
cope I co-founded the county’s first
cope I co-founded the county’s first human trafficking task force which is
human trafficking task force which is
human trafficking task force which is still going strong today and I wrote a
still going strong today and I wrote a
still going strong today and I wrote a law that got passed to increase foster
law that got passed to increase foster
law that got passed to increase foster youth rights and I went from believing
youth rights and I went from believing
youth rights and I went from believing that I would never get into Cal Poly to
that I would never get into Cal Poly to
that I would never get into Cal Poly to now be able to graduate from there this
now be able to graduate from there this
now be able to graduate from there this year
and I went from believing that would
and I went from believing that would never get a job to now being the CEO of
never get a job to now being the CEO of
never get a job to now being the CEO of the leading tactical drone defense
the leading tactical drone defense
the leading tactical drone defense company in the United States
but hear me I don’t say this to draw
but hear me I don’t say this to draw attention to myself I say this to
attention to myself I say this to
attention to myself I say this to demonstrate the potential of a foster
demonstrate the potential of a foster
demonstrate the potential of a foster youth once the walls put up around us
youth once the walls put up around us
youth once the walls put up around us are broken down and growing up in a
are broken down and growing up in a
are broken down and growing up in a unique world gives us unique abilities
unique world gives us unique abilities
unique world gives us unique abilities to survive we develop coping mechanisms
to survive we develop coping mechanisms
to survive we develop coping mechanisms that can entrap us in the cycle of crime
that can entrap us in the cycle of crime
that can entrap us in the cycle of crime but if harnessed can propel us to
but if harnessed can propel us to
but if harnessed can propel us to success we quite literally know what it
success we quite literally know what it
success we quite literally know what it means to be knocked down and to get back
means to be knocked down and to get back
means to be knocked down and to get back up again
the reality I grew up in had my mind
the reality I grew up in had my mind constantly looking for vulnerabilities I
had my mind constantly looking for
had my mind constantly looking for vulnerabilities and instead of seeing
vulnerabilities and instead of seeing
vulnerabilities and instead of seeing these vulnerabilities as opportunities
these vulnerabilities as opportunities
these vulnerabilities as opportunities for crime I now had a whole color
for crime I now had a whole color
for crime I now had a whole color palette to choose from
allowing me allowing me to see I had a
allowing me allowing me to see I had a whole new I had a whole color palette to
whole new I had a whole color palette to
whole new I had a whole color palette to choose from allowing me to see these
choose from allowing me to see these
choose from allowing me to see these vulnerabilities and allowing me to see
vulnerabilities and allowing me to see
vulnerabilities and allowing me to see these vulnerabilities and to see that I
these vulnerabilities and to see that I
these vulnerabilities and to see that I had value and because I had value that I
had value and because I had value that I
had value and because I had value that I could bring value to the world by
could bring value to the world by
could bring value to the world by finding and solving problems for example
finding and solving problems for example
finding and solving problems for example when the world start going crazy over
when the world start going crazy over
when the world start going crazy over drones is recreational toys I saw that
drones is recreational toys I saw that
drones is recreational toys I saw that they could be used as weapons for crime
they could be used as weapons for crime
they could be used as weapons for crime and this insight into the criminal mind
and this insight into the criminal mind
and this insight into the criminal mind inspired a company that now defends the
inspired a company that now defends the
inspired a company that now defends the country from drones
and I am nothing remarkable like so many
and I am nothing remarkable like so many other foster youth I was put through the
other foster youth I was put through the
other foster youth I was put through the furnace and I came out hot and it takes
furnace and I came out hot and it takes
furnace and I came out hot and it takes a special person to see past scorching
a special person to see past scorching
a special person to see past scorching heat to see the hardened steel allowing
heat to see the hardened steel allowing
heat to see the hardened steel allowing us to see a new vibrant normal to
us to see a new vibrant normal to
us to see a new vibrant normal to harness the coping mechanisms that we
harness the coping mechanisms that we
harness the coping mechanisms that we develop to survive to transform was once
develop to survive to transform was once
develop to survive to transform was once an obstacle into an opportunity to break
an obstacle into an opportunity to break
an obstacle into an opportunity to break the cycle of abuse and to ilish the
the cycle of abuse and to ilish the
the cycle of abuse and to ilish the potential of millions of foster youth
the same things that make us vulnerable
the same things that make us vulnerable to failure are the same things that
to failure are the same things that
to failure are the same things that allow us to achieve enormous success
clearly children are resilient
clearly children are resilient but when barriers to our success are put
but when barriers to our success are put
but when barriers to our success are put up by abusive parents when barriers are
up by abusive parents when barriers are
up by abusive parents when barriers are put up by corrupt systems when barriers
put up by corrupt systems when barriers
put up by corrupt systems when barriers are put up by poverty we as a society
are put up by poverty we as a society
are put up by poverty we as a society must stand up and tear those barriers
must stand up and tear those barriers
must stand up and tear those barriers down the statistics are clear we can’t
down the statistics are clear we can’t
down the statistics are clear we can’t afford not to now even though I have
afford not to now even though I have
afford not to now even though I have found freedom and success this is my
found freedom and success this is my
found freedom and success this is my little sister angel
when I was removed from my mother’s home
when I was removed from my mother’s home it was because the courts revoked her
it was because the courts revoked her
it was because the courts revoked her rights to parent me and my sister
rights to parent me and my sister
rights to parent me and my sister Christina and she was sent to jail for
Christina and she was sent to jail for
Christina and she was sent to jail for the Beus of my quadriplegic sister even
the Beus of my quadriplegic sister even
the Beus of my quadriplegic sister even so after her release Child Protective
so after her release Child Protective
so after her release Child Protective Services left angel with her apparently
Services left angel with her apparently
Services left angel with her apparently she was too young to recognize the views
she was too young to recognize the views
she was too young to recognize the views but they reassured me that one day when
but they reassured me that one day when
but they reassured me that one day when she was old enough to they’d be quick to
she was old enough to they’d be quick to
she was old enough to they’d be quick to remove her it’s been five years and
remove her it’s been five years and
remove her it’s been five years and she’s still there knowing the life that
she’s still there knowing the life that
she’s still there knowing the life that I lived and knowing the suffering that I
I lived and knowing the suffering that I
I lived and knowing the suffering that I endured I can only assume that she’s
endured I can only assume that she’s
endured I can only assume that she’s suffering the same there’s nothing I can
suffering the same there’s nothing I can
suffering the same there’s nothing I can do to help her see a normal life so it’s
do to help her see a normal life so it’s
do to help her see a normal life so it’s up to the people around her the
up to the people around her the
up to the people around her the bystanders and her life that can listen
bystanders and her life that can listen
bystanders and her life that can listen and care enough to save her from the
and care enough to save her from the
and care enough to save her from the trajectory of so many other
trajectory of so many other
trajectory of so many other disadvantaged abused and neglected
disadvantaged abused and neglected
disadvantaged abused and neglected children we need one person to step up
children we need one person to step up
children we need one person to step up to stop living their life just to listen
to stop living their life just to listen
to stop living their life just to listen and see the world from our perspective
because our children deserve better
because our children deserve better angel deserves better my request of all
angel deserves better my request of all
angel deserves better my request of all of you and my request of each one of you
of you and my request of each one of you
of you and my request of each one of you is to give children the benefit of the
is to give children the benefit of the
is to give children the benefit of the doubt to listen when something seems off
doubt to listen when something seems off
doubt to listen when something seems off and to recognize when we are talking
and to recognize when we are talking
and to recognize when we are talking about our normal in a way that isn’t we
about our normal in a way that isn’t we
about our normal in a way that isn’t we need someone to reach
need someone to reach
need someone to reach to the disaster and pull us out even for
to the disaster and pull us out even for
to the disaster and pull us out even for just a moment to show us what normal is
just a moment to show us what normal is
just a moment to show us what normal is to show us that life is worth living
to show us that life is worth living
to show us that life is worth living that there is so much more than the pain
that there is so much more than the pain
that there is so much more than the pain that we know and that we have an
that we know and that we have an
that we know and that we have an incredible ability to conquer challenges
incredible ability to conquer challenges
incredible ability to conquer challenges but only if we can see color thank you
but only if we can see color thank you
but only if we can see color thank you [Applause]
”
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