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22 Minutes Later | Brayton Bowman | TEDxPenn


if you wake up early enough in

if you wake up early enough in Philadelphia

Philadelphia

Philadelphia the sky will be purple and nothing will

the sky will be purple and nothing will

the sky will be purple and nothing will hurt

there’ll be no sirens blaring no babies

there’ll be no sirens blaring no babies crying

crying

crying no despair on the horizon your soul just

no despair on the horizon your soul just

no despair on the horizon your soul just might feel alive

my name is Brayton Bowman

my name is Brayton Bowman I am 23 years old and I worry

I am 23 years old and I worry

I am 23 years old and I worry too much when I was younger I used to do

too much when I was younger I used to do

too much when I was younger I used to do everything that you’re supposed to don’t

everything that you’re supposed to don’t

everything that you’re supposed to don’t know when everything got so out of hand

know when everything got so out of hand

know when everything got so out of hand like oops I dropped out of college and

like oops I dropped out of college and

like oops I dropped out of college and chose hot beats over book knowledge

chose hot beats over book knowledge

chose hot beats over book knowledge anyway the wind blows I gotta do me

anyway the wind blows I gotta do me

anyway the wind blows I gotta do me that’s how the story goes and I wish I

that’s how the story goes and I wish I

that’s how the story goes and I wish I could figure out how to let go

could figure out how to let go

could figure out how to let go ohh my doubts I’m the only thing in my

ohh my doubts I’m the only thing in my

ohh my doubts I’m the only thing in my way standing in my way

I mess up I up it’s a nightmare

I mess up I up it’s a nightmare even when I’m strong sometimes I’m

even when I’m strong sometimes I’m

even when I’m strong sometimes I’m scared that I’m never gonna make it

scared that I’m never gonna make it

scared that I’m never gonna make it anyway

I worry too much I’ll worry too much

I worry too much I’ll worry too much thinking about that don’t matter

thinking about that don’t matter

thinking about that don’t matter really cuz none of that really

really cuz none of that really

really cuz none of that really matters in Philly and I don’t know where

matters in Philly and I don’t know where

matters in Philly and I don’t know where I belong

I belong

I belong but I’ll keep on writing these songs

but I’ll keep on writing these songs

but I’ll keep on writing these songs sing along I worry too much I worry too

sing along I worry too much I worry too

sing along I worry too much I worry too much thinking about that don’t

much thinking about that don’t

much thinking about that don’t matter really cuz none of that

matter really cuz none of that

matter really cuz none of that really matters in Philly and I don’t

really matters in Philly and I don’t

really matters in Philly and I don’t know where I belong but I’ll keep on

know where I belong but I’ll keep on

know where I belong but I’ll keep on writing these songs

make some noise for a friend of mine

make some noise for a friend of mine named Dylan day one time y’all I’m sure

named Dylan day one time y’all I’m sure

named Dylan day one time y’all I’m sure that many of you are wondering at this

that many of you are wondering at this

that many of you are wondering at this stage in the game why there is a singing

stage in the game why there is a singing

stage in the game why there is a singing redhead in sweatpants on stage all of a

redhead in sweatpants on stage all of a

redhead in sweatpants on stage all of a sudden and to be quite honest with you I

sudden and to be quite honest with you I

sudden and to be quite honest with you I don’t know the answer to that question

don’t know the answer to that question

don’t know the answer to that question my manager now we’re talking about stage

my manager now we’re talking about stage

my manager now we’re talking about stage I swore today was an April Fool’s joke I

I swore today was an April Fool’s joke I

I swore today was an April Fool’s joke I thought I was gonna get here never like

thought I was gonna get here never like

thought I was gonna get here never like just kidding you’re gonna talk to some

just kidding you’re gonna talk to some

just kidding you’re gonna talk to some dude named Ted but it’s not really a TED

dude named Ted but it’s not really a TED

dude named Ted but it’s not really a TED talk it was not a joke I’m here I’m on

talk it was not a joke I’m here I’m on

talk it was not a joke I’m here I’m on the stage I have to speak so

the stage I have to speak so

the stage I have to speak so we’re gonna go with it

we’re gonna go with it

we’re gonna go with it in all seriousness guys I am humbled

in all seriousness guys I am humbled

in all seriousness guys I am humbled beyond belief to be here today back in

beyond belief to be here today back in

beyond belief to be here today back in the City of Brotherly Love and I really

the City of Brotherly Love and I really

the City of Brotherly Love and I really hope that by some miracle I managed to

hope that by some miracle I managed to

hope that by some miracle I managed to say something of Merit I haven’t really

say something of Merit I haven’t really

say something of Merit I haven’t really yet mastered the art of public speaking

yet mastered the art of public speaking

yet mastered the art of public speaking but bear with me and I’m gonna try to

but bear with me and I’m gonna try to

but bear with me and I’m gonna try to behave but that’s mostly just cuz my

behave but that’s mostly just cuz my

behave but that’s mostly just cuz my mama is here she’s somewhere if she

mama is here she’s somewhere if she

mama is here she’s somewhere if she starts to cry give her a tissue I’m sure

starts to cry give her a tissue I’m sure

starts to cry give her a tissue I’m sure that the ebb and flow of my voice right

that the ebb and flow of my voice right

that the ebb and flow of my voice right now makes you think that I’m about to

now makes you think that I’m about to

now makes you think that I’m about to tell you the dramatic story of my life

in case you can’t see this obnoxious

in case you can’t see this obnoxious thing behind me

thing behind me

thing behind me my name is Brayton Bowman we’re gonna

my name is Brayton Bowman we’re gonna

my name is Brayton Bowman we’re gonna keep it brief I was born on August

keep it brief I was born on August

keep it brief I was born on August Friday the 13th in the summer of 93 down

Friday the 13th in the summer of 93 down

Friday the 13th in the summer of 93 down the street in Pennsylvania Hospital I

the street in Pennsylvania Hospital I

the street in Pennsylvania Hospital I grew up on the other side of the river

grew up on the other side of the river

grew up on the other side of the river in South Jersey and somehow I made it

in South Jersey and somehow I made it

in South Jersey and somehow I made it here hmm

my childhood was like not the best it’s

my childhood was like not the best it’s kind of a show so we’re gonna skip

kind of a show so we’re gonna skip

kind of a show so we’re gonna skip over the scrapbook of my adolescence and

over the scrapbook of my adolescence and

over the scrapbook of my adolescence and we’re gonna try to live in the now this

we’re gonna try to live in the now this

we’re gonna try to live in the now this past couple weeks everybody I know so

past couple weeks everybody I know so

past couple weeks everybody I know so like oh my god bring in what do you

like oh my god bring in what do you

like oh my god bring in what do you wanna talk about a TED talk and I’m like

wanna talk about a TED talk and I’m like

wanna talk about a TED talk and I’m like I really don’t

I really don’t

I really don’t oh yeah stop asking me my roommate and I

oh yeah stop asking me my roommate and I

oh yeah stop asking me my roommate and I started to talk about the idea of me

started to talk about the idea of me

started to talk about the idea of me telling a story about one of my

telling a story about one of my

telling a story about one of my corrective orthopedic surgeries my mom

corrective orthopedic surgeries my mom

corrective orthopedic surgeries my mom and I have this really weird bone

and I have this really weird bone

and I have this really weird bone disease called distal or thro grossest

disease called distal or thro grossest

disease called distal or thro grossest and you probably can’t tell from this

and you probably can’t tell from this

and you probably can’t tell from this stage but I’m legally handicapped

stage but I’m legally handicapped

stage but I’m legally handicapped there’s a really way to sugarcoat it

there’s a really way to sugarcoat it

there’s a really way to sugarcoat it going to elementary school in a

going to elementary school in a

going to elementary school in a wheelchair is not fun but I

wheelchair is not fun but I

wheelchair is not fun but I don’t feel like talking about hospitals

don’t feel like talking about hospitals

don’t feel like talking about hospitals today there’s a bunch of doctors I’m

today there’s a bunch of doctors I’m

today there’s a bunch of doctors I’m gonna let them talk about hospitals I

could tell you a poetic vignette about

could tell you a poetic vignette about my mom’s battle with addiction and how

my mom’s battle with addiction and how

my mom’s battle with addiction and how it shaped me as a young man and it

it shaped me as a young man and it

it shaped me as a young man and it changed me for the better and I could

changed me for the better and I could

changed me for the better and I could once and for all present to you the

once and for all present to you the

once and for all present to you the notion of my existence in a way that

notion of my existence in a way that

notion of my existence in a way that proves that I am the resilient child of

proves that I am the resilient child of

proves that I am the resilient child of a sober alcoholic please clap for my

a sober alcoholic please clap for my

a sober alcoholic please clap for my mommy all cuz I love her to

mommy all cuz I love her to

mommy all cuz I love her to death

or I could tell you about this

or I could tell you about this ridiculous horrifically homogenous town

ridiculous horrifically homogenous town

ridiculous horrifically homogenous town that I grew up in in South Jersey where

that I grew up in in South Jersey where

that I grew up in in South Jersey where the jocks and the popular girls used to

the jocks and the popular girls used to

the jocks and the popular girls used to call me a under their breath because I

call me a under their breath because I

call me a under their breath because I wore skinny jeans and I had somewhat of

wore skinny jeans and I had somewhat of

wore skinny jeans and I had somewhat of a sense of a style for an 11-year old

a sense of a style for an 11-year old

a sense of a style for an 11-year old but I don’t really want to talk about

but I don’t really want to talk about

but I don’t really want to talk about that today either I wanted to take a

that today either I wanted to take a

that today either I wanted to take a second and talk to you guys about

second and talk to you guys about

second and talk to you guys about listening as ironic as that may seem as

listening as ironic as that may seem as

listening as ironic as that may seem as you’re all sitting here attentively

you’re all sitting here attentively

you’re all sitting here attentively listening to me preaching to the choir I

listening to me preaching to the choir I

listening to me preaching to the choir I think that’s what it’s called

think that’s what it’s called

think that’s what it’s called I spent the greater half of my young

I spent the greater half of my young

I spent the greater half of my young adult life dying to be heard desperate

adult life dying to be heard desperate

adult life dying to be heard desperate to feel like anybody understood me or

to feel like anybody understood me or

to feel like anybody understood me or even gave a about what was coming

even gave a about what was coming

even gave a about what was coming through my vocal cords out of my mouth

through my vocal cords out of my mouth

through my vocal cords out of my mouth and I think at some level that’s why I

and I think at some level that’s why I

and I think at some level that’s why I started to make music I didn’t know what

started to make music I didn’t know what

started to make music I didn’t know what to do with this burning urge to be heard

to do with this burning urge to be heard

to do with this burning urge to be heard so I started this thing as a young

so I started this thing as a young

so I started this thing as a young person with disabilities I spent hours

person with disabilities I spent hours

person with disabilities I spent hours that turn into days that turn into weeks

that turn into days that turn into weeks

that turn into days that turn into weeks turn into months it may be a year in

turn into months it may be a year in

turn into months it may be a year in total in hospitals with these brilliant

total in hospitals with these brilliant

total in hospitals with these brilliant brilliant doctors that would look at me

brilliant doctors that would look at me

brilliant doctors that would look at me and diagnose me pity me like a helpless

and diagnose me pity me like a helpless

and diagnose me pity me like a helpless animal granted but all I wanted was for

animal granted but all I wanted was for

animal granted but all I wanted was for someone to look at me in the eyeballs

someone to look at me in the eyeballs

someone to look at me in the eyeballs and listened to me and asked me how I

and listened to me and asked me how I

and listened to me and asked me how I felt I’m not perfect though I have to

felt I’m not perfect though I have to

felt I’m not perfect though I have to get better at listening this past year

get better at listening this past year

get better at listening this past year has taught me more than anything to shut

has taught me more than anything to shut

has taught me more than anything to shut my mouth and listen when I come in

my mouth and listen when I come in

my mouth and listen when I come in contact with a transgendered or a

contact with a transgendered or a

contact with a transgendered or a transitioning or a transitioned human

transitioning or a transitioned human

transitioning or a transitioned human being because I am a 23 year old openly

being because I am a 23 year old openly

being because I am a 23 year old openly gay man and I don’t know anything

gay man and I don’t know anything

gay man and I don’t know anything there’s so much that I stand to learn

there’s so much that I stand to learn

there’s so much that I stand to learn about this community that is like

about this community that is like

about this community that is like tragically misunderstood and in so many

tragically misunderstood and in so many

tragically misunderstood and in so many ways misrepresented and what about race

ways misrepresented and what about race

ways misrepresented and what about race in my mind so much of what has caused

in my mind so much of what has caused

in my mind so much of what has caused this horrific climate for people of

this horrific climate for people of

this horrific climate for people of color in his country is the fact that

color in his country is the fact that

color in his country is the fact that white people are afraid to shut up and

white people are afraid to shut up and

white people are afraid to shut up and who the came up with all lives

who the came up with all lives

who the came up with all lives matter why is the Caucasian populace of

matter why is the Caucasian populace of

matter why is the Caucasian populace of America so petrified for once in our

America so petrified for once in our

America so petrified for once in our life to sit down shut up and listen I

don’t know how it’s possible for a young

don’t know how it’s possible for a young woman of color in this country to go

woman of color in this country to go

woman of color in this country to go missing outside of our nation’s capital

missing outside of our nation’s capital

missing outside of our nation’s capital and we do not send out a mother

and we do not send out a mother

and we do not send out a mother Amber Alert to look for her we must

Amber Alert to look for her we must

Amber Alert to look for her we must start to listen to each other we have to

start to listen to each other we have to

start to listen to each other we have to I am NOT a public speaker as I said I

I am NOT a public speaker as I said I

I am NOT a public speaker as I said I have no idea how to end this speech so

have no idea how to end this speech so

have no idea how to end this speech so I’m going to shut up do us both a favor

I’m going to shut up do us both a favor

I’m going to shut up do us both a favor and sing a song it’s my hope that the

and sing a song it’s my hope that the

and sing a song it’s my hope that the lyrics of this song will make you

lyrics of this song will make you

lyrics of this song will make you realize how much of a normal human being

realize how much of a normal human being

realize how much of a normal human being I am I don’t know how fancy this TED

I am I don’t know how fancy this TED

I am I don’t know how fancy this TED talk looks from out there it’s really

talk looks from out there it’s really

talk looks from out there it’s really sweaty up on stage and this talk might

sweaty up on stage and this talk might

sweaty up on stage and this talk might wind up getting 10 views on YouTube it

wind up getting 10 views on YouTube it

wind up getting 10 views on YouTube it could get 10 million views on YouTube I

could get 10 million views on YouTube I

could get 10 million views on YouTube I just want you to know that I’m a normal

just want you to know that I’m a normal

just want you to know that I’m a normal person just like you guys and we all

person just like you guys and we all

person just like you guys and we all need to be heard so why not start with

need to be heard so why not start with

need to be heard so why not start with listening my name is Brayton Bowman and

listening my name is Brayton Bowman and

listening my name is Brayton Bowman and this is a song I wrote called the second

this is a song I wrote called the second

this is a song I wrote called the second I’m rich me and my friends second I’m

I’m rich me and my friends second I’m

I’m rich me and my friends second I’m rich best believe homage at the out

rich best believe homage at the out

rich best believe homage at the out like every weekend second I’m rich I’m a

like every weekend second I’m rich I’m a

like every weekend second I’m rich I’m a payoff my mama’s dead and it ain’t no

payoff my mama’s dead and it ain’t no

payoff my mama’s dead and it ain’t no sweat

sweat

sweat but I ain’t finished it cuz the second

but I ain’t finished it cuz the second

but I ain’t finished it cuz the second I’m rich i’ma do a bunch of crazy

I’m rich i’ma do a bunch of crazy

I’m rich i’ma do a bunch of crazy they dream about diamond rings cuz right

they dream about diamond rings cuz right

they dream about diamond rings cuz right now I don’t have a thing to mine and

now I don’t have a thing to mine and

now I don’t have a thing to mine and I’ve been wondering when I’m gonna get

I’ve been wondering when I’m gonna get

I’ve been wondering when I’m gonna get my imagination it stuck with me so I can

my imagination it stuck with me so I can

my imagination it stuck with me so I can give it back for me and my friends

give it back for me and my friends

give it back for me and my friends [Music]

because the movies will be old news

because the movies will be old news because ii i’m rich i’ma buy me a bigger

because ii i’m rich i’ma buy me a bigger

because ii i’m rich i’ma buy me a bigger house for me and my friends second I’m

house for me and my friends second I’m

house for me and my friends second I’m rich better believe I’m a jet the

rich better believe I’m a jet the

rich better believe I’m a jet the out like every weekend in the second

out like every weekend in the second

out like every weekend in the second half which my mama’s dead no sweat

half which my mama’s dead no sweat

half which my mama’s dead no sweat finished because the second I’m rich I’m

finished because the second I’m rich I’m

finished because the second I’m rich I’m gonna do a bunch of crazy I was

gonna do a bunch of crazy I was

gonna do a bunch of crazy I was lying I have one more thing to talk

lying I have one more thing to talk

lying I have one more thing to talk about I dropped out of college

about I dropped out of college

about I dropped out of college as I told you but I’m sure that some of

as I told you but I’m sure that some of

as I told you but I’m sure that some of the students in this audience have

the students in this audience have

the students in this audience have student loan debt just like I do

student loan debt just like I do

student loan debt just like I do can we make noise if we have student

can we make noise if we have student

can we make noise if we have student loan debt if you’re still in school you

loan debt if you’re still in school you

loan debt if you’re still in school you don’t know this yet but Sallie Mae will

don’t know this yet but Sallie Mae will

don’t know this yet but Sallie Mae will start to call you every day every single

start to call you every day every single

start to call you every day every single day I have about eighty thousand dollars

day I have about eighty thousand dollars

day I have about eighty thousand dollars in student loan debt I have no idea how

in student loan debt I have no idea how

in student loan debt I have no idea how I’m gonna pay it off please wish me luck

I’m gonna pay it off please wish me luck

I’m gonna pay it off please wish me luck but I have been saying to my friends

but I have been saying to my friends

but I have been saying to my friends that are in this audience and I went to

that are in this audience and I went to

that are in this audience and I went to high school with since day one that rich

high school with since day one that rich

high school with since day one that rich imma buy me a bigger house for me and my

imma buy me a bigger house for me and my

imma buy me a bigger house for me and my friends rich better believe I’m a

friends rich better believe I’m a

friends rich better believe I’m a Gentile out like every week and

Gentile out like every week and

Gentile out like every week and then the second I’m rich i’ma pay off my

then the second I’m rich i’ma pay off my

then the second I’m rich i’ma pay off my mama’s net and it ain’t no sweat but I

mama’s net and it ain’t no sweat but I

mama’s net and it ain’t no sweat but I ain’t finished yet cuz the second I’m

ain’t finished yet cuz the second I’m

ain’t finished yet cuz the second I’m rich i’ma do a bunch of crazy thank

rich i’ma do a bunch of crazy thank

rich i’ma do a bunch of crazy thank you guys

”

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