Gaboon Adder vs. Rat | National Geographic

so you want to be a gaboon adder well

so you want to be a gaboon adder well first of all you’ll have to move to the

first of all you’ll have to move to the

first of all you’ll have to move to the rain forest in the equatorial belt of

rain forest in the equatorial belt of

rain forest in the equatorial belt of tropical Africa you are thick six foot

tropical Africa you are thick six foot

tropical Africa you are thick six foot long body will sport beautiful geometric

long body will sport beautiful geometric

long body will sport beautiful geometric patterns perfect for blending in on the

patterns perfect for blending in on the

patterns perfect for blending in on the forest floor and as you age you’ll grow

forest floor and as you age you’ll grow

forest floor and as you age you’ll grow a pair of decorative horn like scales

a pair of decorative horn like scales

a pair of decorative horn like scales from your snout you’re a passive hunter

from your snout you’re a passive hunter

from your snout you’re a passive hunter able to sit perfectly still until your

able to sit perfectly still until your

able to sit perfectly still until your next meal arrives a scent of fresh rat

next meal arrives a scent of fresh rat

next meal arrives a scent of fresh rat brings you to full alert your prey

brings you to full alert your prey

brings you to full alert your prey spends its last moments blissfully

spends its last moments blissfully

spends its last moments blissfully unaware of your presence

you’re efficient accurate and deadly

you’re efficient accurate and deadly your victim makes a run for it but it

your victim makes a run for it but it

your victim makes a run for it but it doesn’t stand a chance as if it were a

doesn’t stand a chance as if it were a

doesn’t stand a chance as if it were a match for the likes of a gaboon adder

match for the likes of a gaboon adder

match for the likes of a gaboon adder like yourself

like yourself

like yourself all you have to do is follow the scent

all you have to do is follow the scent

all you have to do is follow the scent trail of your mortally wounded brain

trail of your mortally wounded brain

trail of your mortally wounded brain you wait until your meal is completely

you wait until your meal is completely

you wait until your meal is completely inert I mean what’s the point of getting

inert I mean what’s the point of getting

inert I mean what’s the point of getting bitten for nothing your venom has

bitten for nothing your venom has

bitten for nothing your venom has already started the eating process by

already started the eating process by

already started the eating process by jesting morass tissues from the inside

jesting morass tissues from the inside

jesting morass tissues from the inside out now here’s where you stand out in

out now here’s where you stand out in

out now here’s where you stand out in the pantheon of snake de as you ingest

the pantheon of snake de as you ingest

the pantheon of snake de as you ingest your booty you reveal the most

your booty you reveal the most

your booty you reveal the most impressive bags of any snake in the

impressive bags of any snake in the

impressive bags of any snake in the world 2 inches long and capable of

world 2 inches long and capable of

world 2 inches long and capable of flicking open like switchblades to draw

flicking open like switchblades to draw

flicking open like switchblades to draw the rat into your body like a lot of

the rat into your body like a lot of

the rat into your body like a lot of your serpentine counterparts you unhinge

your serpentine counterparts you unhinge

your serpentine counterparts you unhinge your jaw so you can swallow the rat in

your jaw so you can swallow the rat in

your jaw so you can swallow the rat in one gigantic gulp you inject massive

one gigantic gulp you inject massive

one gigantic gulp you inject massive amounts of venom more than any other

amounts of venom more than any other

amounts of venom more than any other snake alive and enough to kill a human

snake alive and enough to kill a human

snake alive and enough to kill a human but you rarely do that swallowing a rat

but you rarely do that swallowing a rat

but you rarely do that swallowing a rat is one thing but a human too huh

is one thing but a human too huh

is one thing but a human too huh heartburn City nope you’ll stick with

heartburn City nope you’ll stick with

heartburn City nope you’ll stick with rats mmm the tail the best part