From Ashes to Ink | Explorer

I do tend to get tattoos pretty much

I do tend to get tattoos pretty much when I’m either stressed out or making a

when I’m either stressed out or making a

when I’m either stressed out or making a big change in my life they help relieve

big change in my life they help relieve

big change in my life they help relieve a lot of stress for me there’s so many

a lot of stress for me there’s so many

a lot of stress for me there’s so many different reasons for people to get

different reasons for people to get

different reasons for people to get tattoos they’ve gotten tattoos too to

tattoos they’ve gotten tattoos too to

tattoos they’ve gotten tattoos too to fit in or they’ve gotten tattoos because

fit in or they’ve gotten tattoos because

fit in or they’ve gotten tattoos because they love the art it’s very popular to

they love the art it’s very popular to

they love the art it’s very popular to get memorial tattoos

March 6 I got a phone call my mom she

March 6 I got a phone call my mom she called me Mariah and that’s my

called me Mariah and that’s my

called me Mariah and that’s my government name you know there was a

government name you know there was a

government name you know there was a really long pause she very just kind of

really long pause she very just kind of

really long pause she very just kind of flat-out she said your father died last

flat-out she said your father died last

flat-out she said your father died last night he got hit by a car I really just

night he got hit by a car I really just

night he got hit by a car I really just didn’t know what to do is just the worst

didn’t know what to do is just the worst

didn’t know what to do is just the worst thing that I could have ever heard in my

thing that I could have ever heard in my

thing that I could have ever heard in my life he was the coolest guy that you

life he was the coolest guy that you

life he was the coolest guy that you could ever

could ever

could ever I mean seriously like I was his number

I mean seriously like I was his number

I mean seriously like I was his number one fan he’s super rock and roll

me and my father definitely shared the

me and my father definitely shared the love of tattoos I remember when I first

love of tattoos I remember when I first

love of tattoos I remember when I first got my artwork he went insane

got my artwork he went insane

got my artwork he went insane he was just like baby that’s so awesome

he was just like baby that’s so awesome

he was just like baby that’s so awesome like that’s such a killer tattoo and he

like that’s such a killer tattoo and he

like that’s such a killer tattoo and he was just blown away by the artwork when

was just blown away by the artwork when

was just blown away by the artwork when my mom made me the necklace with the

my mom made me the necklace with the

my mom made me the necklace with the ashes inside of the vial I remember not

ashes inside of the vial I remember not

ashes inside of the vial I remember not putting it around my neck for I want to

putting it around my neck for I want to

putting it around my neck for I want to say months like I just had it up on my

say months like I just had it up on my

say months like I just had it up on my dresser and I would stare at it the fact

dresser and I would stare at it the fact

dresser and I would stare at it the fact that my dad was minced inside of this

that my dad was minced inside of this

that my dad was minced inside of this little tiny bottle I just kind of was in

little tiny bottle I just kind of was in

little tiny bottle I just kind of was in denial about just the whole thing

finally when I put that around my neck I

finally when I put that around my neck I remember just a very overwhelming

remember just a very overwhelming

remember just a very overwhelming sensation feeling that my father was

sensation feeling that my father was

sensation feeling that my father was very much with me

very much with me

very much with me that’s his ashes in a vial

this is now going to be in my skin how

this is now going to be in my skin how much deeper can you really get

much deeper can you really get

much deeper can you really get [Music]

I remember when he came to visit me for

I remember when he came to visit me for about a week I want to say this was four

about a week I want to say this was four

about a week I want to say this was four months before the accident he was

months before the accident he was

months before the accident he was telling me that he wanted to design some

telling me that he wanted to design some

telling me that he wanted to design some tattoos for me and I was like okay you

tattoos for me and I was like okay you

tattoos for me and I was like okay you know like what’s it gonna be like you

know like what’s it gonna be like you

know like what’s it gonna be like you know I’m singing a skull Scholl would

know I’m singing a skull Scholl would

know I’m singing a skull Scholl would look really awesome on you and I’m like

look really awesome on you and I’m like

look really awesome on you and I’m like dad like come on like no I’m not getting

dad like come on like no I’m not getting

dad like come on like no I’m not getting a skull tattooed on me like that’s

a skull tattooed on me like that’s

a skull tattooed on me like that’s stupid you know

everybody asks you know does it hurt as

everybody asks you know does it hurt as a painful it is painful as excruciating

a painful it is painful as excruciating

a painful it is painful as excruciating but it’s tolerable

but it’s tolerable

but it’s tolerable and I think that that actually kind of

and I think that that actually kind of

and I think that that actually kind of resembles what life is you know it’s

resembles what life is you know it’s

resembles what life is you know it’s excruciating it’s very painful but it’s

excruciating it’s very painful but it’s

excruciating it’s very painful but it’s tolerable

tolerable

tolerable [Music]

I don’t know what to expect as far as

I don’t know what to expect as far as how I’ll feel but I’m actually going to

how I’ll feel but I’m actually going to

how I’ll feel but I’m actually going to see my dad like in my arm and I think

see my dad like in my arm and I think

see my dad like in my arm and I think that he would do that for me too

I think you made it I think I’m loved

I think you made it I think I’m loved [Music]

[Music]

[Music] it definitely feels different than any

it definitely feels different than any

it definitely feels different than any of the other tattoos that I have if my

of the other tattoos that I have if my

of the other tattoos that I have if my dad was here he would definitely say

dad was here he would definitely say

dad was here he would definitely say this is bad something that was like his

this is bad something that was like his

this is bad something that was like his favorite word

[Music]

[Music] you