NARRATOR: What would you do, if you could not chew?
Did Dr. Seuss write this script or maybe, Roald Dahl?
[singing] What would you do if you could not chew.
Simple.
You just thrash your food apart.
Alligators go through 2,000 to 3,000 teeth in a lifetime.
Seems inefficient, but hey, they haven’t
evolved in millions of years so if it ain’t broke, why fix it?
Females also keep an obsessive vigil over a mound
of decomposing brush and mud.
Why?
Within, lie three dozen eggs, but she needs
to be in freshwater to survive.
She’s dug a small wallow near her nest to rest in the water,
while keeping an eye on it.
Helicopter parent– typical.
Here, she can relax and let her heartbeat
drop to two beats per minute.
I wish I could get that kind of rest.
When her eggs begin to hatch, she digs them up,
and inspects them, one by one.
Her monstrous jaws spell doom for her prey,
but a comfy nursery for her babies,
as she ferries them to the river.
They’re like the minivans of the reptilian world.
She’ll look after them for up to a year or more, fiercely
defending them from all threats, including
raccoons and other gators.
If I was a raccoon, I would not mess with a baby alligator,
just seeing that footage of it, killing that deer.
Are you kidding?
Go eat a frog or something.
Come on.
Your life is short.
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