you want to be a great leader start with empathy you want to be a great leader
empathy you want to be a great leader
empathy you want to be a great leader change your perspective and play the
change your perspective and play the
change your perspective and play the game you’re actually playing so I’m
game you’re actually playing so I’m
game you’re actually playing so I’m embarrassed that I have a career I talk
embarrassed that I have a career I talk
embarrassed that I have a career I talk about things like trust and cooperation
about things like trust and cooperation
about things like trust and cooperation and there should be no demand for my
and there should be no demand for my
and there should be no demand for my work but the fact of the matter is is
work but the fact of the matter is is
work but the fact of the matter is is there is demand for my work which means
there is demand for my work which means
there is demand for my work which means that there’s an opportunity it means
that there’s an opportunity it means
that there’s an opportunity it means that trust and cooperation are not yet
that trust and cooperation are not yet
that trust and cooperation are not yet standard in our organizations and yet
standard in our organizations and yet
standard in our organizations and yet they should be and we know that which is
they should be and we know that which is
they should be and we know that which is why we’re looking for ways to bring
why we’re looking for ways to bring
why we’re looking for ways to bring those things to our organizations so I
those things to our organizations so I
those things to our organizations so I thought I would do something a little
thought I would do something a little
thought I would do something a little different today you know when you’re
different today you know when you’re
different today you know when you’re speaking to tens of thousands of people
speaking to tens of thousands of people
speaking to tens of thousands of people and you have the opportunity to share a
and you have the opportunity to share a
and you have the opportunity to share a message of course most rational people
message of course most rational people
message of course most rational people would say let’s go with something I’ve
would say let’s go with something I’ve
would say let’s go with something I’ve talked about lots of times and I’m
talked about lots of times and I’m
talked about lots of times and I’m really good at but I’m not normal so I’m
really good at but I’m not normal so I’m
really good at but I’m not normal so I’m gonna do something completely new and I
gonna do something completely new and I
gonna do something completely new and I hope this works out there are two things
hope this works out there are two things
hope this works out there are two things that I think that great leaders need to
that I think that great leaders need to
that I think that great leaders need to have empathy and perspective and I think
have empathy and perspective and I think
have empathy and perspective and I think these things are very often forgotten
these things are very often forgotten
these things are very often forgotten leaders are so often so concerned about
leaders are so often so concerned about
leaders are so often so concerned about their status of their position and
their status of their position and
their status of their position and organization they actually forget their
organization they actually forget their
organization they actually forget their real job and the real job of a leader is
real job and the real job of a leader is
real job and the real job of a leader is not about being in charge it’s about
not about being in charge it’s about
not about being in charge it’s about taking care of those in our charge and I
taking care of those in our charge and I
taking care of those in our charge and I don’t think people realize this and I
don’t think people realize this and I
don’t think people realize this and I don’t think people train for this when
don’t think people train for this when
don’t think people train for this when we’re junior our only responsibility is
we’re junior our only responsibility is
we’re junior our only responsibility is to be good at our jobs that’s all we
to be good at our jobs that’s all we
to be good at our jobs that’s all we really have to do and some people
really have to do and some people
really have to do and some people actually go get advanced education and
actually go get advanced education and
actually go get advanced education and so that they can be really good at their
so that they can be really good at their
so that they can be really good at their jobs accountants or whatever right and
jobs accountants or whatever right and
jobs accountants or whatever right and you show up and you work hard and the
you show up and you work hard and the
you show up and you work hard and the company will give us tons and tons of
company will give us tons and tons of
company will give us tons and tons of training how to do our jobs they’ll show
training how to do our jobs they’ll show
training how to do our jobs they’ll show us how to use the software they’ll send
us how to use the software they’ll send
us how to use the software they’ll send us away for a few days to get trained in
us away for a few days to get trained in
us away for a few days to get trained in whatever it is that we’re doing for the
whatever it is that we’re doing for the
whatever it is that we’re doing for the company and then they expect us to go be
company and then they expect us to go be
company and then they expect us to go be good at our jobs and that’s what we do
good at our jobs and that’s what we do
good at our jobs and that’s what we do we work very hard and if you’re good at
we work very hard and if you’re good at
we work very hard and if you’re good at your job they’ll promote you and at some
your job they’ll promote you and at some
your job they’ll promote you and at some point you’ll get promoted to position
point you’ll get promoted to position
point you’ll get promoted to position where we’re now responsible for the
where we’re now responsible for the
where we’re now responsible for the people who do the job we used to do but
people who do the job we used to do but
people who do the job we used to do but nobody shows us how to do that
nobody shows us how to do that
nobody shows us how to do that and that’s why we get managers and not
and that’s why we get managers and not
and that’s why we get managers and not leaders because the reason our managers
leaders because the reason our managers
leaders because the reason our managers are micromanaging us is because they
are micromanaging us is because they
are micromanaging us is because they actually do know how to do the job
actually do know how to do the job
actually do know how to do the job better than us that’s what got them
better than us that’s what got them
better than us that’s what got them promoted really what we have to do is go
promoted really what we have to do is go
promoted really what we have to do is go through a transition some people make it
through a transition some people make it
through a transition some people make it quickly some people make it slowly and
quickly some people make it slowly and
quickly some people make it slowly and unfortunately some people will never
unfortunately some people will never
unfortunately some people will never make that transition at all which is we
make that transition at all which is we
make that transition at all which is we have to go this through this transition
have to go this through this transition
have to go this through this transition of being responsible for the job and
of being responsible for the job and
of being responsible for the job and then turning into somebody who’s now
then turning into somebody who’s now
then turning into somebody who’s now responsible for the people who are
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the people who are responsible for the job and as I said
responsible for the job and as I said
responsible for the job and as I said before one of the great things that is
before one of the great things that is
before one of the great things that is lacking in most of our companies is that
lacking in most of our companies is that
lacking in most of our companies is that they are not teaching us how to lead and
they are not teaching us how to lead and
they are not teaching us how to lead and leadership is a skill like any other is
leadership is a skill like any other is
leadership is a skill like any other is a practice’ balloon able skill and it is
a practice’ balloon able skill and it is
a practice’ balloon able skill and it is something that you work on it’s like a
something that you work on it’s like a
something that you work on it’s like a muscle if you practice it all the days
muscle if you practice it all the days
muscle if you practice it all the days you will get good at it and you will get
you will get good at it and you will get
you will get good at it and you will get to become a strong leader if you stop
to become a strong leader if you stop
to become a strong leader if you stop practicing you will become a weak leader
practicing you will become a weak leader
practicing you will become a weak leader like parenting everyone has the capacity
like parenting everyone has the capacity
like parenting everyone has the capacity to be a parent doesn’t mean everybody
to be a parent doesn’t mean everybody
to be a parent doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a parent and doesn’t mean
wants to be a parent and doesn’t mean
wants to be a parent and doesn’t mean everybody shouldn’t be a parent
everybody shouldn’t be a parent
everybody shouldn’t be a parent leadership is the same we all have the
leadership is the same we all have the
leadership is the same we all have the capacity to be a leader doesn’t mean
capacity to be a leader doesn’t mean
capacity to be a leader doesn’t mean everybody should be a leader and it
everybody should be a leader and it
everybody should be a leader and it doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a
doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a
doesn’t mean everybody wants to be a leader and the reason is because it
leader and the reason is because it
leader and the reason is because it comes at great personal sacrifice
comes at great personal sacrifice
comes at great personal sacrifice remember you’re not in charge you’re
remember you’re not in charge you’re
remember you’re not in charge you’re responsible for those in your charge
responsible for those in your charge
responsible for those in your charge that means things like when everything
that means things like when everything
that means things like when everything goes right you have to give away all the
goes right you have to give away all the
goes right you have to give away all the credit and when everything goes wrong
credit and when everything goes wrong
credit and when everything goes wrong you have to take all the responsibility
you have to take all the responsibility
you have to take all the responsibility that sucks
that sucks
that sucks right it’s things like staying late to
right it’s things like staying late to
right it’s things like staying late to show somebody what to do it’s things
show somebody what to do it’s things
show somebody what to do it’s things like when something does actually break
like when something does actually break
like when something does actually break when something goes wrong instead of
when something goes wrong instead of
when something goes wrong instead of yelling and screaming and taking over
yelling and screaming and taking over
yelling and screaming and taking over you say try again when the overwhelming
you say try again when the overwhelming
you say try again when the overwhelming pressures are not mmm
pressures are not mmm
pressures are not mmm the overwhelming pressures are on us at
the overwhelming pressures are on us at
the overwhelming pressures are on us at the end of the day great leaders are not
the end of the day great leaders are not
the end of the day great leaders are not responsible for the job they’re
responsible for the job they’re
responsible for the job they’re responsible for the people who are
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the people who are responsible for the job they’re not even
responsible for the job they’re not even
responsible for the job they’re not even responsible for the results I love
responsible for the results I love
responsible for the results I love talking to CEOs and say what’s your
talking to CEOs and say what’s your
talking to CEOs and say what’s your priority and they put their hands on
priority and they put their hands on
priority and they put their hands on their hips all proud and say my priority
their hips all proud and say my priority
their hips all proud and say my priority is my customer I’m like really
is my customer I’m like really
is my customer I’m like really you even talk to a customer in 15 years
there’s no CEO on the planet responsible
there’s no CEO on the planet responsible for the customer they’re just not
for the customer they’re just not
for the customer they’re just not they’re responsible for the people who
they’re responsible for the people who
they’re responsible for the people who responsible for the people who
responsible for the people who
responsible for the people who responsible for the customer I’ll tell
responsible for the customer I’ll tell
responsible for the customer I’ll tell you a true story a few months ago I
you a true story a few months ago I
you a true story a few months ago I stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas
stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas
stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas it is a wonderful hotel and the reason
it is a wonderful hotel and the reason
it is a wonderful hotel and the reason it’s a wonderful hotel is not because of
it’s a wonderful hotel is not because of
it’s a wonderful hotel is not because of the fancy beds any hotel can go and buy
the fancy beds any hotel can go and buy
the fancy beds any hotel can go and buy a fancy bed
a fancy bed
a fancy bed the reason it’s a wonderful hotel is
the reason it’s a wonderful hotel is
the reason it’s a wonderful hotel is because of the people who work there
because of the people who work there
because of the people who work there if you walk past somebody at the Four
if you walk past somebody at the Four
if you walk past somebody at the Four Seasons in this and they say hello to
Seasons in this and they say hello to
Seasons in this and they say hello to you you get the feeling that they
you you get the feeling that they
you you get the feeling that they actually wanted to say hello to you it’s
actually wanted to say hello to you it’s
actually wanted to say hello to you it’s not that somebody told them that you
not that somebody told them that you
not that somebody told them that you have to say hello to all the customers
have to say hello to all the customers
have to say hello to all the customers say hello to all the guests but you
say hello to all the guests but you
say hello to all the guests but you actually feel that they care now in
actually feel that they care now in
actually feel that they care now in their Lobby they have a coffee stand and
their Lobby they have a coffee stand and
their Lobby they have a coffee stand and I one afternoon I went to buy a cup of
I one afternoon I went to buy a cup of
I one afternoon I went to buy a cup of coffee and there was a barista by the
coffee and there was a barista by the
coffee and there was a barista by the name of Noah who was serving me Noah was
name of Noah who was serving me Noah was
name of Noah who was serving me Noah was fantastic he was friendly and fun and he
fantastic he was friendly and fun and he
fantastic he was friendly and fun and he was engaging with me and I had so much
was engaging with me and I had so much
was engaging with me and I had so much fun buying a cup of coffee I actually
fun buying a cup of coffee I actually
fun buying a cup of coffee I actually think I gave a hundred percent tip right
think I gave a hundred percent tip right
think I gave a hundred percent tip right he was wonderful so as is my nature
he was wonderful so as is my nature
he was wonderful so as is my nature I asked Noah do you like your job and
I asked Noah do you like your job and
I asked Noah do you like your job and without skipping a beat Noah says I love
without skipping a beat Noah says I love
without skipping a beat Noah says I love my job and so I followed up I said what
my job and so I followed up I said what
my job and so I followed up I said what is it that the four seasons is doing
is it that the four seasons is doing
is it that the four seasons is doing that would make you say to me I love my
that would make you say to me I love my
that would make you say to me I love my job and without skipping a beat Noah
job and without skipping a beat Noah
job and without skipping a beat Noah said throughout the day managers will
said throughout the day managers will
said throughout the day managers will walk past me and ask me how I’m doing if
walk past me and ask me how I’m doing if
walk past me and ask me how I’m doing if there’s anything that I need to do my
there’s anything that I need to do my
there’s anything that I need to do my job better he said not just my manager
job better he said not just my manager
job better he said not just my manager any manager and then he said something
any manager and then he said something
any manager and then he said something magical he says I also work at Caesar’s
magical he says I also work at Caesar’s
magical he says I also work at Caesar’s Palace and Caesars at Caesar’s Palace
Palace and Caesars at Caesar’s Palace
Palace and Caesars at Caesar’s Palace the managers are trying to make sure
the managers are trying to make sure
the managers are trying to make sure we’re doing everything right they catch
we’re doing everything right they catch
we’re doing everything right they catch us when we do things wrong he says when
us when we do things wrong he says when
us when we do things wrong he says when I go to work there I like to keep my
I go to work there I like to keep my
I go to work there I like to keep my head under the radar and just get
head under the radar and just get
head under the radar and just get through the day so I can get my paycheck
through the day so I can get my paycheck
through the day so I can get my paycheck he says here at the Four Seasons I feel
he says here at the Four Seasons I feel
he says here at the Four Seasons I feel I can be myself same person entirely a
I can be myself same person entirely a
I can be myself same person entirely a different experience from the from the
different experience from the from the
different experience from the from the customer who will engage with Noah so we
customer who will engage with Noah so we
customer who will engage with Noah so we in leadership are always criticizing the
in leadership are always criticizing the
in leadership are always criticizing the people we’re always saying we’ve got to
people we’re always saying we’ve got to
people we’re always saying we’ve got to get the right people
get the right people
get the right people the bus I’ve got to fill my trunk my
the bus I’ve got to fill my trunk my
the bus I’ve got to fill my trunk my team I gotta get the right people but
team I gotta get the right people but
team I gotta get the right people but the reality is it’s not the people it’s
the reality is it’s not the people it’s
the reality is it’s not the people it’s the leadership if we create the right
the leadership if we create the right
the leadership if we create the right environment we will get people like Noah
environment we will get people like Noah
environment we will get people like Noah at the four seasons if we create the
at the four seasons if we create the
at the four seasons if we create the wrong environment we will get people
wrong environment we will get people
wrong environment we will get people like Noah at Caesar’s Palace it’s not
like Noah at Caesar’s Palace it’s not
like Noah at Caesar’s Palace it’s not the people and yet we’re so quick to
the people and yet we’re so quick to
the people and yet we’re so quick to hire and fire you can’t hire and fire
hire and fire you can’t hire and fire
hire and fire you can’t hire and fire your children if there’s if your kids
your children if there’s if your kids
your children if there’s if your kids are struggling we don’t say you got to
are struggling we don’t say you got to
are struggling we don’t say you got to see at school you’re up for adoption so
see at school you’re up for adoption so
see at school you’re up for adoption so why is it that when somebody has
why is it that when somebody has
why is it that when somebody has performance problems at work why is it
performance problems at work why is it
performance problems at work why is it that our instinct is to say you’re out
that our instinct is to say you’re out
that our instinct is to say you’re out we do not practice empathy
we do not practice empathy
we do not practice empathy what does empathy look like here’s the
what does empathy look like here’s the
what does empathy look like here’s the lack of empathy this is normal in our
lack of empathy this is normal in our
lack of empathy this is normal in our business world you walk into someone’s
business world you walk into someone’s
business world you walk into someone’s office someone walks into our office and
office someone walks into our office and
office someone walks into our office and says your numbers have been down for the
says your numbers have been down for the
says your numbers have been down for the third quarter in a row you have to pick
third quarter in a row you have to pick
third quarter in a row you have to pick up your numbers otherwise I can’t
up your numbers otherwise I can’t
up your numbers otherwise I can’t guarantee what the future will look like
guarantee what the future will look like
guarantee what the future will look like how inspired you think that person is to
how inspired you think that person is to
how inspired you think that person is to come to work the next day here’s what
come to work the next day here’s what
come to work the next day here’s what empathy looks like you walk into
empathy looks like you walk into
empathy looks like you walk into someone’s office someone walks into your
someone’s office someone walks into your
someone’s office someone walks into your office and says your numbers are down
office and says your numbers are down
office and says your numbers are down for the third quarter in a row are you
for the third quarter in a row are you
for the third quarter in a row are you okay
okay
okay I’m worried about you what’s going on
I’m worried about you what’s going on
I’m worried about you what’s going on we all have performance issues maybe
we all have performance issues maybe
we all have performance issues maybe someone’s kid is sick maybe they having
someone’s kid is sick maybe they having
someone’s kid is sick maybe they having problems in their marriage maybe one of
problems in their marriage maybe one of
problems in their marriage maybe one of their parents is dying we don’t know
their parents is dying we don’t know
their parents is dying we don’t know what’s going on in their lives and of
what’s going on in their lives and of
what’s going on in their lives and of course it will affect performance at
course it will affect performance at
course it will affect performance at work empathy is being concerned about
work empathy is being concerned about
work empathy is being concerned about the human being not just their output
the human being not just their output
the human being not just their output and we have to practice empathy and one
and we have to practice empathy and one
and we have to practice empathy and one of the groups that we are pretty bad at
of the groups that we are pretty bad at
of the groups that we are pretty bad at practicing empathy with is our young
practicing empathy with is our young
practicing empathy with is our young Millennials so let me show you what milk
Millennials so let me show you what milk
Millennials so let me show you what milk what empathy looks like listening to
what empathy looks like listening to
what empathy looks like listening to understand trying to understand
understand trying to understand
understand trying to understand someone’s point of view in disposition
someone’s point of view in disposition
someone’s point of view in disposition at a hundred percent of the talks that I
at a hundred percent of the talks that I
at a hundred percent of the talks that I give are the meetings that I have
give are the meetings that I have
give are the meetings that I have invariably someone will raise their hand
invariably someone will raise their hand
invariably someone will raise their hand and ask about the Millennial problem
and ask about the Millennial problem
and ask about the Millennial problem apparently this young generation is
apparently this young generation is
apparently this young generation is unbeatable apparently they have
unbeatable apparently they have
unbeatable apparently they have confounded every single company in every
confounded every single company in every
confounded every single company in every single industry and so now it’s at the
single industry and so now it’s at the
single industry and so now it’s at the point where companies have given up and
point where companies have given up and
point where companies have given up and are now just
are now just
are now just asking Millennials what do you want and
asking Millennials what do you want and
asking Millennials what do you want and so they say we want free food and
so they say we want free food and
so they say we want free food and beanbags and so now every company has
beanbags and so now every company has
beanbags and so now every company has free food and bean bags and guess what
free food and bean bags and guess what
free food and bean bags and guess what nothing has changed so what I thought we
nothing has changed so what I thought we
nothing has changed so what I thought we would do what I thought I would do is
would do what I thought I would do is
would do what I thought I would do is show you what empathy looks like how do
show you what empathy looks like how do
show you what empathy looks like how do we practice empathy with someone we
we practice empathy with someone we
we practice empathy with someone we don’t understand how do we practice
don’t understand how do we practice
don’t understand how do we practice empathy with an organization or a group
empathy with an organization or a group
empathy with an organization or a group that we’re struggling with right so we
that we’re struggling with right so we
that we’re struggling with right so we have to understand that it breaks down
have to understand that it breaks down
have to understand that it breaks down to four things I’ve broken it down into
to four things I’ve broken it down into
to four things I’ve broken it down into parenting technology impatience and
parenting technology impatience and
parenting technology impatience and environment let’s talk about parenting
environment let’s talk about parenting
environment let’s talk about parenting first too many Millennials have grown up
first too many Millennials have grown up
first too many Millennials have grown up subject to what has been described as a
subject to what has been described as a
subject to what has been described as a failed parenting strategy too many of
failed parenting strategy too many of
failed parenting strategy too many of them were told as they were growing up
them were told as they were growing up
them were told as they were growing up that they were special that they can
that they were special that they can
that they were special that they can have whatever they want just because
have whatever they want just because
have whatever they want just because they want it they got medals for coming
they want it they got medals for coming
they want it they got medals for coming in last they got participation medals
in last they got participation medals
in last they got participation medals right and the science and this is
right and the science and this is
right and the science and this is already good we know that it devalues
already good we know that it devalues
already good we know that it devalues the feeling that somebody who works hard
the feeling that somebody who works hard
the feeling that somebody who works hard and comes in first place and it actually
and comes in first place and it actually
and comes in first place and it actually makes the person who comes in last
makes the person who comes in last
makes the person who comes in last embarrassed because they know they don’t
embarrassed because they know they don’t
embarrassed because they know they don’t deserve it so it actually makes them
deserve it so it actually makes them
deserve it so it actually makes them feel worse it actually doesn’t help
feel worse it actually doesn’t help
feel worse it actually doesn’t help there are a lot of kids who got into
there are a lot of kids who got into
there are a lot of kids who got into honors classes not because they deserved
honors classes not because they deserved
honors classes not because they deserved it but because their parents complained
it but because their parents complained
it but because their parents complained and they got A’s nothing because they
and they got A’s nothing because they
and they got A’s nothing because they earned them but because the teachers
earned them but because the teachers
earned them but because the teachers didn’t want to deal with the parents
didn’t want to deal with the parents
didn’t want to deal with the parents right then those kids graduate and
right then those kids graduate and
right then those kids graduate and though Goodis and they start a job and
though Goodis and they start a job and
though Goodis and they start a job and in an instant they find out that they’re
in an instant they find out that they’re
in an instant they find out that they’re not special that you don’t get anything
not special that you don’t get anything
not special that you don’t get anything just cuz you want it you get nothing for
just cuz you want it you get nothing for
just cuz you want it you get nothing for coming in last
coming in last
coming in last and your parents cannot help you get a
and your parents cannot help you get a
and your parents cannot help you get a promotion and in an instant their entire
promotion and in an instant their entire
promotion and in an instant their entire self-image is completely shattered in an
self-image is completely shattered in an
self-image is completely shattered in an instance the way they view themselves
instance the way they view themselves
instance the way they view themselves has completely changed turned on its
has completely changed turned on its
has completely changed turned on its head and so what you find is that
head and so what you find is that
head and so what you find is that there’s an entire generation growing up
there’s an entire generation growing up
there’s an entire generation growing up with lower self-esteem than previous
with lower self-esteem than previous
with lower self-esteem than previous generations remember they have grown up
generations remember they have grown up
generations remember they have grown up in an Instagram Facebook snapchat world
in an Instagram Facebook snapchat world
in an Instagram Facebook snapchat world in which they are very very good at
in which they are very very good at
in which they are very very good at putting filters on everything they’re
putting filters on everything they’re
putting filters on everything they’re very very good
very very good
very very good curating how they want to be seen and we
curating how they want to be seen and we
curating how they want to be seen and we think they’re full of confidence they
think they’re full of confidence they
think they’re full of confidence they seem to have all the answers they seem
seem to have all the answers they seem
seem to have all the answers they seem to be telling us what to do
to be telling us what to do
to be telling us what to do at the end of the day it’s just not
at the end of the day it’s just not
at the end of the day it’s just not there it’s just not true it’s just not
there it’s just not true it’s just not
there it’s just not true it’s just not true their confidence is a lot weaker
true their confidence is a lot weaker
true their confidence is a lot weaker than before they don’t know where
than before they don’t know where
than before they don’t know where they’re coming from they don’t know
they’re coming from they don’t know
they’re coming from they don’t know where they’re going they’re unsure of
where they’re going they’re unsure of
where they’re going they’re unsure of themselves and they lack the courage to
themselves and they lack the courage to
themselves and they lack the courage to ask we say things like my door is always
ask we say things like my door is always
ask we say things like my door is always open
open
open assume assuming that they have the
assume assuming that they have the
assume assuming that they have the courage to walk through the door number
courage to walk through the door number
courage to walk through the door number one then we add in technology there is a
one then we add in technology there is a
one then we add in technology there is a chemical in our body called dopamine
chemical in our body called dopamine
chemical in our body called dopamine dopamine is responsible for the feelings
dopamine is responsible for the feelings
dopamine is responsible for the feelings we get when we find something we’re
we get when we find something we’re
we get when we find something we’re looking for or we accomplish something
looking for or we accomplish something
looking for or we accomplish something we set out to accomplish you know that
we set out to accomplish you know that
we set out to accomplish you know that great feeling you get when you cross
great feeling you get when you cross
great feeling you get when you cross something off your to-do list when you
something off your to-do list when you
something off your to-do list when you win the game when you hit the target
win the game when you hit the target
win the game when you hit the target right when the client get the promotion
right when the client get the promotion
right when the client get the promotion whatever it is that elation find your
whatever it is that elation find your
whatever it is that elation find your keys that elation comes from a chemical
keys that elation comes from a chemical
keys that elation comes from a chemical in our body called dopamine right now
in our body called dopamine right now
in our body called dopamine right now other substances other things that
other substances other things that
other substances other things that release dopamine include alcohol
release dopamine include alcohol
release dopamine include alcohol nicotine gambling they’ll that’s what
nicotine gambling they’ll that’s what
nicotine gambling they’ll that’s what makes us feel good when we engage with
makes us feel good when we engage with
makes us feel good when we engage with those things and it’s the root of a lot
those things and it’s the root of a lot
those things and it’s the root of a lot of addiction in fact almost every
of addiction in fact almost every
of addiction in fact almost every alcoholic on the planet discovered
alcoholic on the planet discovered
alcoholic on the planet discovered alcohol when they were teenagers
alcohol when they were teenagers
alcohol when they were teenagers you see when we’re very very young the
you see when we’re very very young the
you see when we’re very very young the only approval we need is approval from
only approval we need is approval from
only approval we need is approval from our parents and then as we go through
our parents and then as we go through
our parents and then as we go through adolescence we now crave the approval of
adolescence we now crave the approval of
adolescence we now crave the approval of our peers very frustrating for our
our peers very frustrating for our
our peers very frustrating for our parents very important for us it allows
parents very important for us it allows
parents very important for us it allows us to acculturate outside of our
us to acculturate outside of our
us to acculturate outside of our immediate families into the larger tribe
immediate families into the larger tribe
immediate families into the larger tribe very very important right it’s a time of
very very important right it’s a time of
very very important right it’s a time of high stress and high anxiety and we’re
high stress and high anxiety and we’re
high stress and high anxiety and we’re supposed to learn to rely on our friends
supposed to learn to rely on our friends
supposed to learn to rely on our friends some people quite by accident discover
some people quite by accident discover
some people quite by accident discover alcohol and the numbing effects of
alcohol and the numbing effects of
alcohol and the numbing effects of dopamine to help them cope with the
dopamine to help them cope with the
dopamine to help them cope with the stress and that becomes hardwired and
stress and that becomes hardwired and
stress and that becomes hardwired and then for the rest of their lives when
then for the rest of their lives when
then for the rest of their lives when they suffer some kind of extreme stress
they suffer some kind of extreme stress
they suffer some kind of extreme stress they don’t turn to a person they turn to
they don’t turn to a person they turn to
they don’t turn to a person they turn to the bottle right now we also know that
the bottle right now we also know that
the bottle right now we also know that dopamine is released with cell phones
dopamine is released with cell phones
dopamine is released with cell phones and social media so that Bing Baz
and social media so that Bing Baz
and social media so that Bing Baz was flash and beep that we get from our
was flash and beep that we get from our
was flash and beep that we get from our phones that feels so good it releases
phones that feels so good it releases
phones that feels so good it releases dopamine we like getting it yes we all
dopamine we like getting it yes we all
dopamine we like getting it yes we all hate all the emails but we love the Bing
hate all the emails but we love the Bing
hate all the emails but we love the Bing right we’ve all been in this position
right we’ve all been in this position
right we’ve all been in this position you know you’re feeling a little bit
you know you’re feeling a little bit
you know you’re feeling a little bit down you’re feeling a little bit sorry
down you’re feeling a little bit sorry
down you’re feeling a little bit sorry maybe the only a little bit sad and so
maybe the only a little bit sad and so
maybe the only a little bit sad and so what do we do we send out ten texts to
what do we do we send out ten texts to
what do we do we send out ten texts to ten friends hi hi hi hi hi and we hope
ten friends hi hi hi hi hi and we hope
ten friends hi hi hi hi hi and we hope that they write back because it feels
that they write back because it feels
that they write back because it feels good right so now we have a young
good right so now we have a young
good right so now we have a young generation with basically unfettered
generation with basically unfettered
generation with basically unfettered access to social media and cell phones
access to social media and cell phones
access to social media and cell phones we have age restrictions on alcohol we
we have age restrictions on alcohol we
we have age restrictions on alcohol we have age restrictions on smoking and we
have age restrictions on smoking and we
have age restrictions on smoking and we have age restrictions on gambling
have age restrictions on gambling
have age restrictions on gambling we have no age restrictions on this
we have no age restrictions on this
we have no age restrictions on this other dopamine producing device called
other dopamine producing device called
other dopamine producing device called social media or cell phones it’s the
social media or cell phones it’s the
social media or cell phones it’s the equivalent of throwing open the liquor
equivalent of throwing open the liquor
equivalent of throwing open the liquor cabinet and telling our young
cabinet and telling our young
cabinet and telling our young adolescents I know this is a stressful
adolescents I know this is a stressful
adolescents I know this is a stressful time try the vodka it’ll get you through
time try the vodka it’ll get you through
time try the vodka it’ll get you through these hard times that’s basically what
these hard times that’s basically what
these hard times that’s basically what we’re doing and so what’s happening is
we’re doing and so what’s happening is
we’re doing and so what’s happening is huh it’s becoming hardwired where our
huh it’s becoming hardwired where our
huh it’s becoming hardwired where our young generation isn’t learning the
young generation isn’t learning the
young generation isn’t learning the coping skills and coping net mechanisms
coping skills and coping net mechanisms
coping skills and coping net mechanisms to turn to another human being when
to turn to another human being when
to turn to another human being when they’re struggling or stressed they’re
they’re struggling or stressed they’re
they’re struggling or stressed they’re turning to social media or their cell
turning to social media or their cell
turning to social media or their cell phones their self-worth sometimes
phones their self-worth sometimes
phones their self-worth sometimes becomes wrapped up and how many likes
becomes wrapped up and how many likes
becomes wrapped up and how many likes they get they obsessively check how many
they get they obsessively check how many
they get they obsessively check how many likes how many likes how many likes and
likes how many likes how many likes and
likes how many likes how many likes and actually will get depressed if they
actually will get depressed if they
actually will get depressed if they don’t get any you see them going out
don’t get any you see them going out
don’t get any you see them going out with their friends and instead of
with their friends and instead of
with their friends and instead of connecting with their friends they will
connecting with their friends they will
connecting with their friends they will simply sit and talk on the phone let me
simply sit and talk on the phone let me
simply sit and talk on the phone let me show you something that’s really
show you something that’s really
show you something that’s really powerful can I borrow your phone please
powerful can I borrow your phone please
powerful can I borrow your phone please there’s one right there in between you
there’s one right there in between you
there’s one right there in between you just let me borrow that for a second I’m
just let me borrow that for a second I’m
just let me borrow that for a second I’m asking you to give me somebody else’s
asking you to give me somebody else’s
asking you to give me somebody else’s phone you don’t have to turn it on I
phone you don’t have to turn it on I
phone you don’t have to turn it on I just need it thank you so let me show
just need it thank you so let me show
just need it thank you so let me show you this subconscious power of this
you this subconscious power of this
you this subconscious power of this device what if I were to hold my phone
device what if I were to hold my phone
device what if I were to hold my phone while I’m giving this presentation I’m
while I’m giving this presentation I’m
while I’m giving this presentation I’m not checking it it’s not buzzing it’s
not checking it it’s not buzzing it’s
not checking it it’s not buzzing it’s not beeping I’m simply holding it do you
not beeping I’m simply holding it do you
not beeping I’m simply holding it do you feel like you’re the most important
feel like you’re the most important
feel like you’re the most important thing to me right now
thing to me right now
thing to me right now no you do not and this is an artificial
no you do not and this is an artificial
no you do not and this is an artificial environment now think about how often
environment now think about how often
environment now think about how often this phone is out while we’re talking to
this phone is out while we’re talking to
this phone is out while we’re talking to other people hey boss can I talk to you
other people hey boss can I talk to you
other people hey boss can I talk to you sure what’s on your mind as opposed to
sure what’s on your mind as opposed to
sure what’s on your mind as opposed to sure what’s on your mind
sure what’s on your mind
sure what’s on your mind we go out for dinner or lunch with our
we go out for dinner or lunch with our
we go out for dinner or lunch with our family and our friends we have meetings
family and our friends we have meetings
family and our friends we have meetings and we put the phone on the table which
and we put the phone on the table which
and we put the phone on the table which sends a subconscious message to
sends a subconscious message to
sends a subconscious message to everybody else in the room that this is
everybody else in the room that this is
everybody else in the room that this is not that important to me you’re not that
not that important to me you’re not that
not that important to me you’re not that important to me and by the way putting
important to me and by the way putting
important to me and by the way putting your phone upside down is not more
your phone upside down is not more
your phone upside down is not more polite this is this is my favorite one
polite this is this is my favorite one
polite this is this is my favorite one where the phone rings in the middle of
where the phone rings in the middle of
where the phone rings in the middle of the dinner in the middle of a lunch in
the dinner in the middle of a lunch in
the dinner in the middle of a lunch in the middle of a meeting and somebody
the middle of a meeting and somebody
the middle of a meeting and somebody goes I’m not gonna answer it oh my god I
goes I’m not gonna answer it oh my god I
goes I’m not gonna answer it oh my god I just so magnanimous right thank you
just so magnanimous right thank you
just so magnanimous right thank you right put it away keep it away because
right put it away keep it away because
right put it away keep it away because what it does is it actually hurts our
what it does is it actually hurts our
what it does is it actually hurts our ability to relate to each other now you
ability to relate to each other now you
ability to relate to each other now you look at young kids these days they’re on
look at young kids these days they’re on
look at young kids these days they’re on them all the time I don’t blame them it
them all the time I don’t blame them it
them all the time I don’t blame them it is addiction we yell and scream at them
is addiction we yell and scream at them
is addiction we yell and scream at them but we like yelling and screaming and an
but we like yelling and screaming and an
but we like yelling and screaming and an alcoholic it doesn’t help the fact that
alcoholic it doesn’t help the fact that
alcoholic it doesn’t help the fact that it’s a chemical addiction right so you
it’s a chemical addiction right so you
it’s a chemical addiction right so you take an insecure generation that now
take an insecure generation that now
take an insecure generation that now through no fault of their own struggles
through no fault of their own struggles
through no fault of their own struggles to cope with stress they don’t know how
to cope with stress they don’t know how
to cope with stress they don’t know how to cope with and deal with stress and as
to cope with and deal with stress and as
to cope with and deal with stress and as they have told me many of them will
they have told me many of them will
they have told me many of them will admit that they struggle to form deep
admit that they struggle to form deep
admit that they struggle to form deep meaningful relationships they will admit
meaningful relationships they will admit
meaningful relationships they will admit that many of their friendships are
that many of their friendships are
that many of their friendships are superficial right that their friends
superficial right that their friends
superficial right that their friends they know would cancel on them if they
they know would cancel on them if they
they know would cancel on them if they get a better plan that they wouldn’t
get a better plan that they wouldn’t
get a better plan that they wouldn’t really know who to talk to if their get
really know who to talk to if their get
really know who to talk to if their get depressed and maybe they’ll turn to an
depressed and maybe they’ll turn to an
depressed and maybe they’ll turn to an online support group which is not a real
online support group which is not a real
online support group which is not a real thing it’s not human right
thing it’s not human right
thing it’s not human right and we’ve seen the impact of us we’re
and we’ve seen the impact of us we’re
and we’ve seen the impact of us we’re starting to see rises of depression in
starting to see rises of depression in
starting to see rises of depression in this generation we’re starting to see
this generation we’re starting to see
this generation we’re starting to see rise of suicide in this generation we’re
rise of suicide in this generation we’re
rise of suicide in this generation we’re starting to see a rise of accidental
starting to see a rise of accidental
starting to see a rise of accidental death due to drug overdose from this
death due to drug overdose from this
death due to drug overdose from this generation universities are currently
generation universities are currently
generation universities are currently dealing with an epidemic that they’ve
dealing with an epidemic that they’ve
dealing with an epidemic that they’ve never dealt with before which is the
never dealt with before which is the
never dealt with before which is the number of kids requesting leaves of
number of kids requesting leaves of
number of kids requesting leaves of absence due to depression right now
absence due to depression right now
absence due to depression right now those are all extreme examples the less
those are all extreme examples the less
those are all extreme examples the less extreme and more likely example is that
extreme and more likely example is that
extreme and more likely example is that someone will go through life just never
someone will go through life just never
someone will go through life just never really finding joy or fulfillment and
really finding joy or fulfillment and
really finding joy or fulfillment and everything’s just fine how’s your job
everything’s just fine how’s your job
everything’s just fine how’s your job it’s fine how are your friends you know
it’s fine how are your friends you know
it’s fine how are your friends you know they’re fine but no joint because you
they’re fine but no joint because you
they’re fine but no joint because you just cannot because joy fulfillment
just cannot because joy fulfillment
just cannot because joy fulfillment comes from this it comes from human
comes from this it comes from human
comes from this it comes from human interaction we are social animals and we
interaction we are social animals and we
interaction we are social animals and we need it and we have to learn to rely on
need it and we have to learn to rely on
need it and we have to learn to rely on our friends and that skill is
our friends and that skill is
our friends and that skill is desperately lacking so you add in the
desperately lacking so you add in the
desperately lacking so you add in the next one impatience this generation is
next one impatience this generation is
next one impatience this generation is often accused of being entitled and if
often accused of being entitled and if
often accused of being entitled and if you’ve worked with any of them before
you’ve worked with any of them before
you’ve worked with any of them before sure seems that way but I would argue
sure seems that way but I would argue
sure seems that way but I would argue that we’re miss reading the tea leaves
that we’re miss reading the tea leaves
that we’re miss reading the tea leaves they’re not entitled they’re impatient
they’re not entitled they’re impatient
they’re not entitled they’re impatient again let’s practice empathy how did
again let’s practice empathy how did
again let’s practice empathy how did they grow up they grew up in a world of
they grow up they grew up in a world of
they grow up they grew up in a world of instant gratification you want to buy
instant gratification you want to buy
instant gratification you want to buy something you go on Amazon it shows up
something you go on Amazon it shows up
something you go on Amazon it shows up the next day you want to watch a movie
the next day you want to watch a movie
the next day you want to watch a movie don’t check movie times you just log on
don’t check movie times you just log on
don’t check movie times you just log on and download it whenever you want to
and download it whenever you want to
and download it whenever you want to watch it stream it right you want to
watch it stream it right you want to
watch it stream it right you want to watch a TV show you don’t wait week to
watch a TV show you don’t wait week to
watch a TV show you don’t wait week to week to week yes finish watch for the
week to week yes finish watch for the
week to week yes finish watch for the weekend in fact if you want to get hold
weekend in fact if you want to get hold
weekend in fact if you want to get hold of somebody you don’t leave a message on
of somebody you don’t leave a message on
of somebody you don’t leave a message on their machine and wait for hours for
their machine and wait for hours for
their machine and wait for hours for them to get the message and call you
them to get the message and call you
them to get the message and call you back you just text them and they’ll call
back you just text them and they’ll call
back you just text them and they’ll call you they’ll get back to literally
you they’ll get back to literally
you they’ll get back to literally instantaneously heck if you want to go
instantaneously heck if you want to go
instantaneously heck if you want to go on a date you don’t even have to be like
on a date you don’t even have to be like
on a date you don’t even have to be like hey you just swipe right you got a date
never learn the skill set of like what
never learn the skill set of like what are you doing right you can have four
are you doing right you can have four
are you doing right you can have four dates in the night in other words
dates in the night in other words
dates in the night in other words everything comes instantaneously they
everything comes instantaneously they
everything comes instantaneously they have falsely applied the instant
have falsely applied the instant
have falsely applied the instant gratification model to life fulfillment
gratification model to life fulfillment
gratification model to life fulfillment and career fulfillment they wanted all
and career fulfillment they wanted all
and career fulfillment they wanted all instantaneously the problem is life
instantaneously the problem is life
instantaneously the problem is life relationships career are not
relationships career are not
relationships career are not destinations like look I found the job I
destinations like look I found the job I
destinations like look I found the job I love
love
love that’s not how it works it’s not it’s
that’s not how it works it’s not it’s
that’s not how it works it’s not it’s not a scavenger hunt I’m looking for the
not a scavenger hunt I’m looking for the
not a scavenger hunt I’m looking for the job that will no it doesn’t work that
job that will no it doesn’t work that
job that will no it doesn’t work that way it’s a journey it’s a it’s a cut
way it’s a journey it’s a it’s a cut
way it’s a journey it’s a it’s a cut like it’s the same with love it’s like I
like it’s the same with love it’s like I
like it’s the same with love it’s like I found love no you didn’t you work hard
found love no you didn’t you work hard
found love no you didn’t you work hard every single day to stay and love
every single day to stay and love
every single day to stay and love it’s a journey it’s as if they’re
it’s a journey it’s as if they’re
it’s a journey it’s as if they’re standing at the foot of a mountain they
standing at the foot of a mountain they
standing at the foot of a mountain they know exactly what they want they can see
know exactly what they want they can see
know exactly what they want they can see the summit what they don’t see is the
the summit what they don’t see is the
the summit what they don’t see is the mountain I talked to some recent college
mountain I talked to some recent college
mountain I talked to some recent college grads who are in their in their
grads who are in their in their
grads who are in their in their entry-level jobs on a regular basis and
entry-level jobs on a regular basis and
entry-level jobs on a regular basis and I’ll ask them things like how’s it going
I’ll ask them things like how’s it going
I’ll ask them things like how’s it going and they’ll say yeah I think I’m gonna
and they’ll say yeah I think I’m gonna
and they’ll say yeah I think I’m gonna quit I’m like why they’re like I’m not
quit I’m like why they’re like I’m not
quit I’m like why they’re like I’m not making an impact I’m like you know
making an impact I’m like you know
making an impact I’m like you know you’ve been here eight months right and
you’ve been here eight months right and
you’ve been here eight months right and this is the problem they see it as
this is the problem they see it as
this is the problem they see it as destination I’m not making an impact I
destination I’m not making an impact I
destination I’m not making an impact I hear it all the time
hear it all the time
hear it all the time but they don’t even know what that means
but they don’t even know what that means
but they don’t even know what that means impact yes we all want to make an impact
impact yes we all want to make an impact
impact yes we all want to make an impact what kind of impact what you want to do
what kind of impact what you want to do
what kind of impact what you want to do what how you want to contribute to the
what how you want to contribute to the
what how you want to contribute to the world this is what vision is this is
world this is what vision is this is
world this is what vision is this is what Y is it’s become generic and
what Y is it’s become generic and
what Y is it’s become generic and abstract but the problem is is they’re
abstract but the problem is is they’re
abstract but the problem is is they’re wafting around they’re looking for the
wafting around they’re looking for the
wafting around they’re looking for the the right they’ll go from job to job to
the right they’ll go from job to job to
the right they’ll go from job to job to job hoping that the next one sticks they
job hoping that the next one sticks they
job hoping that the next one sticks they go from relationship to relationship
go from relationship to relationship
go from relationship to relationship hoping that the next one is the love
hoping that the next one is the love
hoping that the next one is the love what that I’ve been looking for they
what that I’ve been looking for they
what that I’ve been looking for they don’t know how to ask for help and their
don’t know how to ask for help and their
don’t know how to ask for help and their makes them feel even worse because they
makes them feel even worse because they
makes them feel even worse because they can’t find the thing that they’re
can’t find the thing that they’re
can’t find the thing that they’re looking for maybe it’s me so if an
looking for maybe it’s me so if an
looking for maybe it’s me so if an insecure generation that doesn’t have
insecure generation that doesn’t have
insecure generation that doesn’t have coping mechanisms that wants everything
coping mechanisms that wants everything
coping mechanisms that wants everything resolved and resolved now I have a
resolved and resolved now I have a
resolved and resolved now I have a thought let me just send a text as
thought let me just send a text as
thought let me just send a text as opposed to let me wait an hour when I’m
opposed to let me wait an hour when I’m
opposed to let me wait an hour when I’m done with lunch with you and then I’ll
done with lunch with you and then I’ll
done with lunch with you and then I’ll send my text for example and then we get
send my text for example and then we get
send my text for example and then we get to the fourth and most egregious of the
to the fourth and most egregious of the
to the fourth and most egregious of the four observations environment we’re now
four observations environment we’re now
four observations environment we’re now taking this wonderful smart idealistic
taking this wonderful smart idealistic
taking this wonderful smart idealistic ambitious hard-working good group of
ambitious hard-working good group of
ambitious hard-working good group of people that were dealt a bad hand and
people that were dealt a bad hand and
people that were dealt a bad hand and we’re putting them in corporate
we’re putting them in corporate
we’re putting them in corporate environments that do not care about them
environments that do not care about them
environments that do not care about them as human beings right we have for some
as human beings right we have for some
as human beings right we have for some reason our work world has changed over
reason our work world has changed over
reason our work world has changed over the past 20 and 30 years we are
the past 20 and 30 years we are
the past 20 and 30 years we are suffering the side effect of business
suffering the side effect of business
suffering the side effect of business theories left over from the 80s and 90s
theories left over from the 80s and 90s
theories left over from the 80s and 90s and they are bad for people and they are
and they are bad for people and they are
and they are bad for people and they are bad for business let me give you an
bad for business let me give you an
bad for business let me give you an example the concept of shareholder
example the concept of shareholder
example the concept of shareholder supremacy was a theory proposed in the
supremacy was a theory proposed in the
supremacy was a theory proposed in the late 1970s and it was popularized in the
late 1970s and it was popularized in the
late 1970s and it was popularized in the 80s and 90s it is now standard form
80s and 90s it is now standard form
80s and 90s it is now standard form today you talk to any public company and
today you talk to any public company and
today you talk to any public company and you ask them their priority and they say
you ask them their priority and they say
you ask them their priority and they say maximize shareholder value really that’s
maximize shareholder value really that’s
maximize shareholder value really that’s like a coach prioritizing the needs of
like a coach prioritizing the needs of
like a coach prioritizing the needs of the fans over the needs of the players
the fans over the needs of the players
the fans over the needs of the players how you gonna build a winning team with
how you gonna build a winning team with
how you gonna build a winning team with that model but that’s normal today we
that model but that’s normal today we
that model but that’s normal today we don’t even perceive it as broken or
don’t even perceive it as broken or
don’t even perceive it as broken or damaged or wrong or outdated remember
damaged or wrong or outdated remember
damaged or wrong or outdated remember the 80s and 90s were boom years with
the 80s and 90s were boom years with
the 80s and 90s were boom years with relative peace and a kinder gentler cold
relative peace and a kinder gentler cold
relative peace and a kinder gentler cold war nobody was practicing hiding under
war nobody was practicing hiding under
war nobody was practicing hiding under their desks in school anymore
their desks in school anymore
their desks in school anymore we are no longer in those times these
we are no longer in those times these
we are no longer in those times these are no longer boom years these are no
are no longer boom years these are no
are no longer boom years these are no longer peaceful times and those models
longer peaceful times and those models
longer peaceful times and those models cannot work today here’s another one
cannot work today here’s another one
cannot work today here’s another one mass layoffs using someone’s livelihood
mass layoffs using someone’s livelihood
mass layoffs using someone’s livelihood to balance the books right it’s so
to balance the books right it’s so
to balance the books right it’s so normal in America today that we don’t
normal in America today that we don’t
normal in America today that we don’t even understand how broken and how
even understand how broken and how
even understand how broken and how damaging it is not only to human beings
damaging it is not only to human beings
damaging it is not only to human beings but to business you know companies talk
but to business you know companies talk
but to business you know companies talk about how they want to build trust in
about how they want to build trust in
about how they want to build trust in corporation then they announce a round
corporation then they announce a round
corporation then they announce a round of layoffs do you know the quickest way
of layoffs do you know the quickest way
of layoffs do you know the quickest way to destroy trust and destroy cooperation
to destroy trust and destroy cooperation
to destroy trust and destroy cooperation in a business literally in one day lay
in a business literally in one day lay
in a business literally in one day lay people off and everyone gets scared
people off and everyone gets scared
people off and everyone gets scared right can you imagine sending someone
right can you imagine sending someone
right can you imagine sending someone home to say honey I can no longer
home to say honey I can no longer
home to say honey I can no longer provide for our family because the
provide for our family because the
provide for our family because the company missed its arbitrary projections
company missed its arbitrary projections
company missed its arbitrary projections this year and forget about the people
this year and forget about the people
this year and forget about the people who lost their job think about the
who lost their job think about the
who lost their job think about the people who kept their jobs because every
people who kept their jobs because every
people who kept their jobs because every single decision a company makes as a
single decision a company makes as a
single decision a company makes as a piece of communication and the company
piece of communication and the company
piece of communication and the company cut the company has just communicated to
cut the company has just communicated to
cut the company has just communicated to everybody else this is not a meritocracy
everybody else this is not a meritocracy
everybody else this is not a meritocracy we don’t care how hard you work or how
we don’t care how hard you work or how
we don’t care how hard you work or how long you’ve worked here if we miss our
long you’ve worked here if we miss our
long you’ve worked here if we miss our numbers and you happen to fall on the
numbers and you happen to fall on the
numbers and you happen to fall on the wrong side of the spreadsheet I’m sorry
wrong side of the spreadsheet I’m sorry
wrong side of the spreadsheet I’m sorry we cannot Gary
we cannot Gary
we cannot Gary the employment in other words we come to
the employment in other words we come to
the employment in other words we come to work every day afraid and we’re asking
work every day afraid and we’re asking
work every day afraid and we’re asking our youngest generation to work in in
our youngest generation to work in in
our youngest generation to work in in environments where how would any of us
environments where how would any of us
environments where how would any of us ever stand up and admit I made a mistake
ever stand up and admit I made a mistake
ever stand up and admit I made a mistake we’re custom being told you have to be
we’re custom being told you have to be
we’re custom being told you have to be vulnerable leaders are vulnerable what
vulnerable leaders are vulnerable what
vulnerable leaders are vulnerable what does that even mean it doesn’t mean you
does that even mean it doesn’t mean you
does that even mean it doesn’t mean you walk around crying I’m vulnerable right
walk around crying I’m vulnerable right
walk around crying I’m vulnerable right know what vulnerability means is you
know what vulnerability means is you
know what vulnerability means is you create an environment in which someone
create an environment in which someone
create an environment in which someone feels safe enough to raise their hand
feels safe enough to raise their hand
feels safe enough to raise their hand and said I don’t know what I’m doing
and said I don’t know what I’m doing
and said I don’t know what I’m doing you’ve given me a job and I haven’t been
you’ve given me a job and I haven’t been
you’ve given me a job and I haven’t been trained to do it I need help I made a
trained to do it I need help I made a
trained to do it I need help I made a mistake I screwed something up I’m
mistake I screwed something up I’m
mistake I screwed something up I’m scared
scared
scared I’m worried all of these things no one
I’m worried all of these things no one
I’m worried all of these things no one would ever admit inside a company
would ever admit inside a company
would ever admit inside a company because it puts a target on your head in
because it puts a target on your head in
because it puts a target on your head in case there’s another round and so we
case there’s another round and so we
case there’s another round and so we keep it to ourselves and how can a
keep it to ourselves and how can a
keep it to ourselves and how can a company ever do well if nobody’s ever
company ever do well if nobody’s ever
company ever do well if nobody’s ever willing to admit they made a mistake
willing to admit they made a mistake
willing to admit they made a mistake that’s scared when they don’t know what
that’s scared when they don’t know what
that’s scared when they don’t know what they’re doing and so we’ve literally
they’re doing and so we’ve literally
they’re doing and so we’ve literally created cultures in which every single
created cultures in which every single
created cultures in which every single day everybody comes to work and light hi
day everybody comes to work and light hi
day everybody comes to work and light hi lies hides and fakes and we’re asking
lies hides and fakes and we’re asking
lies hides and fakes and we’re asking our youngest generation to work and
our youngest generation to work and
our youngest generation to work and succeed and find themselves and build
succeed and find themselves and build
succeed and find themselves and build their confidence and overcome their
their confidence and overcome their
their confidence and overcome their addiction to technology and build strong
addiction to technology and build strong
addiction to technology and build strong relationships at work we’re asking to do
relationships at work we’re asking to do
relationships at work we’re asking to do this and these lis environments we’ve
this and these lis environments we’ve
this and these lis environments we’ve created we keep saying to them you’re
created we keep saying to them you’re
created we keep saying to them you’re the future leaders we’re the leaders now
the future leaders we’re the leaders now
the future leaders we’re the leaders now we’re in control what are we doing this
we’re in control what are we doing this
we’re in control what are we doing this is what empathy means it means if
is what empathy means it means if
is what empathy means it means if there’s an entire generation struggling
there’s an entire generation struggling
there’s an entire generation struggling maybe it’s not them it’s like you know
maybe it’s not them it’s like you know
maybe it’s not them it’s like you know the only thing that I that the common
the only thing that I that the common
the only thing that I that the common factor in all my failed relationships me
factor in all my failed relationships me
factor in all my failed relationships me same thing well we just can’t get the
same thing well we just can’t get the
same thing well we just can’t get the right app or you know the right
right app or you know the right
right app or you know the right performance out of our people maybe it’s
performance out of our people maybe it’s
performance out of our people maybe it’s you right
you right
you right it’s not a generation it’s not them
it’s not a generation it’s not them
it’s not a generation it’s not them they’re not difficult or hard to
they’re not difficult or hard to
they’re not difficult or hard to understand they’re human beings like the
understand they’re human beings like the
understand they’re human beings like the rest of us trying to find their way
rest of us trying to find their way
rest of us trying to find their way trying to work in a place where they
trying to work in a place where they
trying to work in a place where they feel that someone cares about them as a
feel that someone cares about them as a
feel that someone cares about them as a human being by the way that’s what we
human being by the way that’s what we
human being by the way that’s what we all want in other words it’s not even
all want in other words it’s not even
all want in other words it’s not even generational it’s all of us this is the
generational it’s all of us this is the
generational it’s all of us this is the practice of empathy that have wish
practice of empathy that have wish
practice of empathy that have wish struggling to communicate to someone if
struggling to communicate to someone if
struggling to communicate to someone if it’s struggling to help someone be at
it’s struggling to help someone be at
it’s struggling to help someone be at their natural best I’m tired of people
their natural best I’m tired of people
their natural best I’m tired of people saying to me how do I get the best out
saying to me how do I get the best out
saying to me how do I get the best out of my people really that’s what you want
of my people really that’s what you want
of my people really that’s what you want there like a towel just Wingham how can
there like a towel just Wingham how can
there like a towel just Wingham how can I get the most out of them No how do I
I get the most out of them No how do I
I get the most out of them No how do I help my people be at their natural best
help my people be at their natural best
help my people be at their natural best right we’re not asking these questions
right we’re not asking these questions
right we’re not asking these questions we are not practicing empathy we have to
we are not practicing empathy we have to
we are not practicing empathy we have to start by practicing empathy and relate
start by practicing empathy and relate
start by practicing empathy and relate to what they may be going through and it
to what they may be going through and it
to what they may be going through and it will profoundly change the decisions we
will profoundly change the decisions we
will profoundly change the decisions we make it will profoundly change the way
make it will profoundly change the way
make it will profoundly change the way we see the world someone’s driving to
we see the world someone’s driving to
we see the world someone’s driving to work you’re driving to work and someone
work you’re driving to work and someone
work you’re driving to work and someone wants to cut into your lane what do you
wants to cut into your lane what do you
wants to cut into your lane what do you do do you pull your car up would you let
do do you pull your car up would you let
do do you pull your car up would you let them in most of us pull our cars up and
them in most of us pull our cars up and
them in most of us pull our cars up and go like this you wait your turn now
go like this you wait your turn now
go like this you wait your turn now let’s practice empathy I don’t know
let’s practice empathy I don’t know
let’s practice empathy I don’t know maybe they’ve been out of work for six
maybe they’ve been out of work for six
maybe they’ve been out of work for six months maybe they had trouble getting
months maybe they had trouble getting
months maybe they had trouble getting the kids out to school this morning and
the kids out to school this morning and
the kids out to school this morning and now they’re running late for a really
now they’re running late for a really
now they’re running late for a really important interview and they just have
important interview and they just have
important interview and they just have to get to this interview and they’re
to get to this interview and they’re
to get to this interview and they’re gonna cut into our lane or maybe they’re
gonna cut into our lane or maybe they’re
gonna cut into our lane or maybe they’re just a bastard I don’t know
but that’s the point we don’t know we
but that’s the point we don’t know we don’t know and the practice of empathy
don’t know and the practice of empathy
don’t know and the practice of empathy will say I’ll let them in and I’ll
will say I’ll let them in and I’ll
will say I’ll let them in and I’ll arrive to work one car lengths late
arrive to work one car lengths late
arrive to work one car lengths late right we don’t always have to be right
right we don’t always have to be right
right we don’t always have to be right we do always have to be in charge we
we do always have to be in charge we
we do always have to be in charge we don’t have to be the one who succeeds
don’t have to be the one who succeeds
don’t have to be the one who succeeds it’s not about winning or losing and
it’s not about winning or losing and
it’s not about winning or losing and that’s where I go to the second point
that’s where I go to the second point
that’s where I go to the second point after empathy comes perspective where
after empathy comes perspective where
after empathy comes perspective where it’s not about winning or losing in game
it’s not about winning or losing in game
it’s not about winning or losing in game theory there are two kinds of games
theory there are two kinds of games
theory there are two kinds of games there are finite games and there are
there are finite games and there are
there are finite games and there are infinite games and this is how you’re
infinite games and this is how you’re
infinite games and this is how you’re gonna change your perspective right a
gonna change your perspective right a
gonna change your perspective right a finite game is defined as known players
finite game is defined as known players
finite game is defined as known players fixed rules and an agreed upon objective
fixed rules and an agreed upon objective
fixed rules and an agreed upon objective baseball for example we know the rules
baseball for example we know the rules
baseball for example we know the rules we all agree to the rules and whoever
we all agree to the rules and whoever
we all agree to the rules and whoever has more runs at the end of nine innings
has more runs at the end of nine innings
has more runs at the end of nine innings is the winner and the game is over no
is the winner and the game is over no
is the winner and the game is over no one ever says if we can just play two
one ever says if we can just play two
one ever says if we can just play two more innings I know we can come back
more innings I know we can come back
more innings I know we can come back doesn’t work that way the game is over
doesn’t work that way the game is over
doesn’t work that way the game is over right that’s a finite game then you have
right that’s a finite game then you have
right that’s a finite game then you have an infinite game infinite games are
an infinite game infinite games are
an infinite game infinite games are defined as known and unknown players the
defined as known and unknown players the
defined as known and unknown players the rules are changeable and the objective
rules are changeable and the objective
rules are changeable and the objective is to keep the game in play to
is to keep the game in play to
is to keep the game in play to perpetuate the game when you pit a
perpetuate the game when you pit a
perpetuate the game when you pit a finite player versus a finite player the
finite player versus a finite player the
finite player versus a finite player the system is stable
system is stable
system is stable baseball is stable right when you pit an
baseball is stable right when you pit an
baseball is stable right when you pit an infant an infinite player versus an
infant an infinite player versus an
infant an infinite player versus an infinite player this system is also
infinite player this system is also
infinite player this system is also stable like the Cold War for example
stable like the Cold War for example
stable like the Cold War for example because there cannot be a winner and a
because there cannot be a winner and a
because there cannot be a winner and a loser there are no winners and losers in
loser there are no winners and losers in
loser there are no winners and losers in an infinite game right it doesn’t exist
an infinite game right it doesn’t exist
an infinite game right it doesn’t exist and because there are no winners or
and because there are no winners or
and because there are no winners or losers what ends up happening in the
losers what ends up happening in the
losers what ends up happening in the infinite contest is players drop out
infinite contest is players drop out
infinite contest is players drop out when they run out of the will or the
when they run out of the will or the
when they run out of the will or the resources to play but there’s no winners
resources to play but there’s no winners
resources to play but there’s no winners or losers problems arise when you pit a
or losers problems arise when you pit a
or losers problems arise when you pit a finite player versus an infinite player
finite player versus an infinite player
finite player versus an infinite player because if a finite player is playing to
because if a finite player is playing to
because if a finite player is playing to win and an infinite player is to playing
win and an infinite player is to playing
win and an infinite player is to playing to keep the game going right this is
to keep the game going right this is
to keep the game going right this is what happened to us in Vietnam we were
what happened to us in Vietnam we were
what happened to us in Vietnam we were playing to win and the Vietnamese were
playing to win and the Vietnamese were
playing to win and the Vietnamese were fighting for their lives we were the
fighting for their lives we were the
fighting for their lives we were the ones who got stuck in quagmire the
ones who got stuck in quagmire the
ones who got stuck in quagmire the the Soviet Union in Afghanistan they
the Soviet Union in Afghanistan they
the Soviet Union in Afghanistan they were trying to beat the Mujahideen and
were trying to beat the Mujahideen and
were trying to beat the Mujahideen and the Mujahideen would fight for as long
the Mujahideen would fight for as long
the Mujahideen would fight for as long as is necessary
as is necessary
as is necessary quagmire now let’s look at business the
quagmire now let’s look at business the
quagmire now let’s look at business the game of business has pre-existed or has
game of business has pre-existed or has
game of business has pre-existed or has existed long before every single company
existed long before every single company
existed long before every single company that exists on this planet today and it
that exists on this planet today and it
that exists on this planet today and it will outlast every single company that
will outlast every single company that
will outlast every single company that it lives that exists on this planet
it lives that exists on this planet
it lives that exists on this planet today there’s no winning the game of
today there’s no winning the game of
today there’s no winning the game of business and the reason is is because we
business and the reason is is because we
business and the reason is is because we haven’t agreed to the rules I get such a
haven’t agreed to the rules I get such a
haven’t agreed to the rules I get such a kick out of this you realize how many
kick out of this you realize how many
kick out of this you realize how many companies actually don’t know the game
companies actually don’t know the game
companies actually don’t know the game they’re in right listen to the language
they’re in right listen to the language
they’re in right listen to the language of the companies use we’re trying to
of the companies use we’re trying to
of the companies use we’re trying to beat our competition we’re trying to be
beat our competition we’re trying to be
beat our competition we’re trying to be number one did you know that we were
number one did you know that we were
number one did you know that we were ranked number one look at the listing
ranked number one look at the listing
ranked number one look at the listing based on what criteria revenues profits
based on what criteria revenues profits
based on what criteria revenues profits market share square footage number of
market share square footage number of
market share square footage number of employees based on what time frame a
employees based on what time frame a
employees based on what time frame a quarter a year five years ten years 20
quarter a year five years ten years 20
quarter a year five years ten years 20 years 50 years 100 years I haven’t
years 50 years 100 years I haven’t
years 50 years 100 years I haven’t agreed to those standards how can you
agreed to those standards how can you
agreed to those standards how can you declare yourself the winner
declare yourself the winner
declare yourself the winner how can you declare yourself number one
how can you declare yourself number one
how can you declare yourself number one where no one else in the game has agreed
where no one else in the game has agreed
where no one else in the game has agreed to the rules it’s arbitrary there is no
to the rules it’s arbitrary there is no
to the rules it’s arbitrary there is no winning because there’s no end in other
winning because there’s no end in other
winning because there’s no end in other words companies are playing finite games
words companies are playing finite games
words companies are playing finite games listen to their language to try to beat
listen to their language to try to beat
listen to their language to try to beat their competition what does that even
their competition what does that even
their competition what does that even mean it’s the leaders and the companies
mean it’s the leaders and the companies
mean it’s the leaders and the companies that understand the game that they’re in
that understand the game that they’re in
that understand the game that they’re in and organize their resources and their
and organize their resources and their
and organize their resources and their decision-making around the infinite
decision-making around the infinite
decision-making around the infinite contest that outlast and frustrate their
contest that outlast and frustrate their
contest that outlast and frustrate their competition all the companies that we’ve
competition all the companies that we’ve
competition all the companies that we’ve referred to as the exceptions Southwest
referred to as the exceptions Southwest
referred to as the exceptions Southwest Airlines Apple computers harley-davidson
Airlines Apple computers harley-davidson
Airlines Apple computers harley-davidson they’re the exception no they’re playing
they’re the exception no they’re playing
they’re the exception no they’re playing the infinite contest they frustrate
the infinite contest they frustrate
the infinite contest they frustrate their competition is what happens that’s
their competition is what happens that’s
their competition is what happens that’s what happens because they’re not playing
what happens because they’re not playing
what happens because they’re not playing to win
to win
to win Jim Senegal the founder of Costco which
Jim Senegal the founder of Costco which
Jim Senegal the founder of Costco which is the company only real company that
is the company only real company that
is the company only real company that gives Walmart a run for its money
gives Walmart a run for its money
gives Walmart a run for its money he says public companies are looking to
he says public companies are looking to
he says public companies are looking to succeed for the quarter says we’re
succeed for the quarter says we’re
succeed for the quarter says we’re looking for the next 50 years you can
looking for the next 50 years you can
looking for the next 50 years you can hear him he’s playing the infinite
hear him he’s playing the infinite
hear him he’s playing the infinite contest I spoke at a Leadership Summit
contest I spoke at a Leadership Summit
contest I spoke at a Leadership Summit for Microsoft I also spoke at a
for Microsoft I also spoke at a
for Microsoft I also spoke at a Leadership Summit for Apple
Leadership Summit for Apple
Leadership Summit for Apple now at the Microsoft summit I would say
now at the Microsoft summit I would say
now at the Microsoft summit I would say 70% of the executives and this was under
70% of the executives and this was under
70% of the executives and this was under the Steve Ballmer days I would say about
the Steve Ballmer days I would say about
the Steve Ballmer days I would say about 70% of the executives spend about 70% of
70% of the executives spend about 70% of
70% of the executives spend about 70% of their presentations talking about how to
their presentations talking about how to
their presentations talking about how to beat Apple at the Apple Summit a hundred
beat Apple at the Apple Summit a hundred
beat Apple at the Apple Summit a hundred percent of the executives spent a
percent of the executives spent a
percent of the executives spent a hundred percent of their presentations
hundred percent of their presentations
hundred percent of their presentations talking about how to help teachers teach
talking about how to help teachers teach
talking about how to help teachers teach and how to help students learn one was
and how to help students learn one was
and how to help students learn one was obsessed with their competition
obsessed with their competition
obsessed with their competition the other one was obsessed with where
the other one was obsessed with where
the other one was obsessed with where they’re going so at the end of my
they’re going so at the end of my
they’re going so at the end of my presentation at Microsoft they gave me a
presentation at Microsoft they gave me a
presentation at Microsoft they gave me a gift they gave me the new Zune which was
gift they gave me the new Zune which was
gift they gave me the new Zune which was the competitor to the iPod touch when it
the competitor to the iPod touch when it
the competitor to the iPod touch when it was a thing right and I have to tell you
was a thing right and I have to tell you
was a thing right and I have to tell you this piece of technology was spectacular
this piece of technology was spectacular
this piece of technology was spectacular it was beautiful the user interface was
it was beautiful the user interface was
it was beautiful the user interface was incredible the design was amazing it was
incredible the design was amazing it was
incredible the design was amazing it was intuitive it was one of the most
intuitive it was one of the most
intuitive it was one of the most beautiful elegant pieces of technology
beautiful elegant pieces of technology
beautiful elegant pieces of technology I’d ever seen right now.they it didn’t
I’d ever seen right now.they it didn’t
I’d ever seen right now.they it didn’t work with iTunes which is an entirely
work with iTunes which is an entirely
work with iTunes which is an entirely different problem I couldn’t use it but
different problem I couldn’t use it but
different problem I couldn’t use it but that’s something else I’m sitting in the
that’s something else I’m sitting in the
that’s something else I’m sitting in the back of a taxi with a senior Apple
back of a taxi with a senior Apple
back of a taxi with a senior Apple executive sort of employee number twelve
executive sort of employee number twelve
executive sort of employee number twelve kind of guy and I decide to stir the pot
kind of guy and I decide to stir the pot
kind of guy and I decide to stir the pot and I turned him I say you know I spoke
and I turned him I say you know I spoke
and I turned him I say you know I spoke at a Microsoft summit and they gave me
at a Microsoft summit and they gave me
at a Microsoft summit and they gave me their new Zune and I have to tell you it
their new Zune and I have to tell you it
their new Zune and I have to tell you it is so much better than your iPod touch
is so much better than your iPod touch
is so much better than your iPod touch and he turned to me and said I have no
and he turned to me and said I have no
and he turned to me and said I have no doubt
doubt
doubt conversation over because the infinite
conversation over because the infinite
conversation over because the infinite player isn’t playing to be number one
player isn’t playing to be number one
player isn’t playing to be number one every day with every product they’re
every day with every product they’re
every day with every product they’re playing to outlast the competition if I
playing to outlast the competition if I
playing to outlast the competition if I had sent to Microsoft oh I’ve got the
had sent to Microsoft oh I’ve got the
had sent to Microsoft oh I’ve got the new iPod touch it’s so much better than
new iPod touch it’s so much better than
new iPod touch it’s so much better than your new Zune there was a can we see it
your new Zune there was a can we see it
your new Zune there was a can we see it what does it do how we have to see it
what does it do how we have to see it
what does it do how we have to see it because one is obsessed with their
because one is obsessed with their
because one is obsessed with their competition the other is obsessed with
competition the other is obsessed with
competition the other is obsessed with why they do what they do the other is
why they do what they do the other is
why they do what they do the other is obsessed with where they’re going and
obsessed with where they’re going and
obsessed with where they’re going and the reason Apple frustrates their
the reason Apple frustrates their
the reason Apple frustrates their competition is because secretly they’re
competition is because secretly they’re
competition is because secretly they’re not even competing against them they’re
not even competing against them they’re
not even competing against them they’re competing against themselves and they
competing against themselves and they
competing against themselves and they understand that sometimes you’re a
understand that sometimes you’re a
understand that sometimes you’re a little bit ahead sometimes you’re a
little bit ahead sometimes you’re a
little bit ahead sometimes you’re a little bit behind and sometimes your
little bit behind and sometimes your
little bit behind and sometimes your product is better and sometimes you’re
product is better and sometimes you’re
product is better and sometimes you’re not but if you wake up every single
not but if you wake up every single
not but if you wake up every single morning and compete against yourself how
morning and compete against yourself how
morning and compete against yourself how do I make our products better than they
do I make our products better than they
do I make our products better than they were yesterday how do I take care of our
were yesterday how do I take care of our
were yesterday how do I take care of our customers better than we did yesterday
customers better than we did yesterday
customers better than we did yesterday how do we advance our cause more
how do we advance our cause more
how do we advance our cause more efficiently more productively than we
efficiently more productively than we
efficiently more productively than we did yesterday how do we find new
did yesterday how do we find new
did yesterday how do we find new solutions to advance our calling our
solutions to advance our calling our
solutions to advance our calling our cause our purpose our belief are why
cause our purpose our belief are why
cause our purpose our belief are why every single day what you’ll find is
every single day what you’ll find is
every single day what you’ll find is over time you will probably be ahead
over time you will probably be ahead
over time you will probably be ahead more often those who play the infinite
more often those who play the infinite
more often those who play the infinite game understand it’s not about the
game understand it’s not about the
game understand it’s not about the battle it’s about the war and they don’t
battle it’s about the war and they don’t
battle it’s about the war and they don’t play to win every day and they frustrate
play to win every day and they frustrate
play to win every day and they frustrate their competition until their
their competition until their
their competition until their competition drops out of the game every
competition drops out of the game every
competition drops out of the game every single bankruptcy almost every merger
single bankruptcy almost every merger
single bankruptcy almost every merger and acquisition is basically a company
and acquisition is basically a company
and acquisition is basically a company saying we no longer have the will or the
saying we no longer have the will or the
saying we no longer have the will or the resources to continue to play and we
resources to continue to play and we
resources to continue to play and we have no choice to either drop out of the
have no choice to either drop out of the
have no choice to either drop out of the game or merge our resources with another
game or merge our resources with another
game or merge our resources with another player so that we can stay in the game
player so that we can stay in the game
player so that we can stay in the game that’s what that is and if you think
that’s what that is and if you think
that’s what that is and if you think about the number of bankruptcies and
about the number of bankruptcies and
about the number of bankruptcies and mergers and acquisitions it’s kind of
mergers and acquisitions it’s kind of
mergers and acquisitions it’s kind of proof that most companies don’t even
proof that most companies don’t even
proof that most companies don’t even know the game they’re in you want to be
know the game they’re in you want to be
know the game they’re in you want to be a great leader start with empathy you
a great leader start with empathy you
a great leader start with empathy you want to be a great leader change your
want to be a great leader change your
want to be a great leader change your perspective and play the game you’re
perspective and play the game you’re
perspective and play the game you’re we play
”
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