early on in my life probably in my early to mid 20s I was living like a lot of
to mid 20s I was living like a lot of
to mid 20s I was living like a lot of people do fairly unconsciously but not
people do fairly unconsciously but not
people do fairly unconsciously but not aware of my unconsciousness you know
aware of my unconsciousness you know
aware of my unconsciousness you know just kind of going through life and
just kind of going through life and
just kind of going through life and often feeling as though life was
often feeling as though life was
often feeling as though life was happening to me that I was a victim to
happening to me that I was a victim to
happening to me that I was a victim to what was going on in my life or that
what was going on in my life or that
what was going on in my life or that that the things that the places of my
that the things that the places of my
that the things that the places of my life where I was unhappy whether it was
life where I was unhappy whether it was
life where I was unhappy whether it was in a relationship or where I was living
in a relationship or where I was living
in a relationship or where I was living or in my job had nothing to do with had
or in my job had nothing to do with had
or in my job had nothing to do with had little had less to do with what I was
little had less to do with what I was
little had less to do with what I was doing and more to do with just sort of
doing and more to do with just sort of
doing and more to do with just sort of the circumstances of life and I started
the circumstances of life and I started
the circumstances of life and I started to be introduced to looking at the world
to be introduced to looking at the world
to be introduced to looking at the world in a different way for example through
in a different way for example through
in a different way for example through Louise’s book you can hear you life
Louise’s book you can hear you life
Louise’s book you can hear you life which was very influential to me early
which was very influential to me early
which was very influential to me early on what a lot of people don’t know I
on what a lot of people don’t know I
on what a lot of people don’t know I actually have as a side story a funny
actually have as a side story a funny
actually have as a side story a funny little story about Louise that nobody
little story about Louise that nobody
little story about Louise that nobody really knows and that is that um when I
really knows and that is that um when I
really knows and that is that um when I was probably 24 25 years old I
was probably 24 25 years old I
was probably 24 25 years old I volunteered for an organization called
volunteered for an organization called
volunteered for an organization called interphase in Cambridge Mass that was
interphase in Cambridge Mass that was
interphase in Cambridge Mass that was considered the East Coast Esalen you may
considered the East Coast Esalen you may
considered the East Coast Esalen you may remember that and it’s a place where
remember that and it’s a place where
remember that and it’s a place where people like Deepak Chopra would come and
people like Deepak Chopra would come and
people like Deepak Chopra would come and Bernie Siegel you know God his sort of
Bernie Siegel you know God his sort of
Bernie Siegel you know God his sort of start there and I was volunteering there
start there and I was volunteering there
start there and I was volunteering there and I was volunteering because I was
and I was volunteering because I was
and I was volunteering because I was really interested in this whole
really interested in this whole
really interested in this whole self-help field and recovery was a big
self-help field and recovery was a big
self-help field and recovery was a big big thing at the time and Louise Hay was
big thing at the time and Louise Hay was
big thing at the time and Louise Hay was coming to speak for interface she was
coming to speak for interface she was
coming to speak for interface she was coming to a halt in downtown Boston and
coming to a halt in downtown Boston and
coming to a halt in downtown Boston and I had read you can heal your life and I
I had read you can heal your life and I
I had read you can heal your life and I was really taken by two things number
was really taken by two things number
was really taken by two things number one the fact that she was teaching from
one the fact that she was teaching from
one the fact that she was teaching from her own experience and she was so honest
her own experience and she was so honest
her own experience and she was so honest about her life in the book I was really
about her life in the book I was really
about her life in the book I was really engaged by that but also the practical
engaged by that but also the practical
engaged by that but also the practical nature of the book that you can actually
nature of the book that you can actually
nature of the book that you can actually do something with it you know you could
do something with it you know you could
do something with it you know you could look up and see oh I have this physical
look up and see oh I have this physical
look up and see oh I have this physical ailment therefore this might be going on
ailment therefore this might be going on
ailment therefore this might be going on and I appreciated the interact you know
and I appreciated the interact you know
and I appreciated the interact you know that the fact that it was interactive
that the fact that it was interactive
that the fact that it was interactive and so I was really taken by her work
and so I was really taken by her work
and so I was really taken by her work and so I asked if I could be the
and so I asked if I could be the
and so I asked if I could be the volunteer that would drive to the
volunteer that would drive to the
volunteer that would drive to the airport to pick her up
airport to pick her up
airport to pick her up and to take her back to the hall now
and to take her back to the hall now
and to take her back to the hall now nobody knows it’s it’s really ironic
nobody knows it’s it’s really ironic
nobody knows it’s it’s really ironic actually Here I am today at Hay House
actually Here I am today at Hay House
actually Here I am today at Hay House author and a speaker and Louise doesn’t
author and a speaker and Louise doesn’t
author and a speaker and Louise doesn’t even know this so she probably doesn’t
even know this so she probably doesn’t
even know this so she probably doesn’t even remember but I remember driving to
even remember but I remember driving to
even remember but I remember driving to the airport it was in the dead of winter
the airport it was in the dead of winter
the airport it was in the dead of winter and it was freezing and you know so this
and it was freezing and you know so this
and it was freezing and you know so this is this is one of the first people who
is this is one of the first people who
is this is one of the first people who has really touched my life in a
has really touched my life in a
has really touched my life in a significant way and has begun the
significant way and has begun the
significant way and has begun the opening to the belief that wow maybe
opening to the belief that wow maybe
opening to the belief that wow maybe there’s something more to life than
there’s something more to life than
there’s something more to life than meets the eye
meets the eye
meets the eye like maybe there’s something that I’m
like maybe there’s something that I’m
like maybe there’s something that I’m doing in my life that’s creating what’s
doing in my life that’s creating what’s
doing in my life that’s creating what’s happening and not just the fact that
happening and not just the fact that
happening and not just the fact that life is happening to me
life is happening to me
life is happening to me so I drive to the airport it’s freezing
so I drive to the airport it’s freezing
so I drive to the airport it’s freezing cold I get there and of course her
cold I get there and of course her
cold I get there and of course her flight is delayed and it’s delayed for
flight is delayed and it’s delayed for
flight is delayed and it’s delayed for about three hours and I sit in the
about three hours and I sit in the
about three hours and I sit in the airport you know is this like young
airport you know is this like young
airport you know is this like young excited fan you know who just can’t wait
excited fan you know who just can’t wait
excited fan you know who just can’t wait to meet her and I’m you know every time
to meet her and I’m you know every time
to meet her and I’m you know every time they say no the flight will be in in 20
they say no the flight will be in in 20
they say no the flight will be in in 20 minutes I’m like okay fixing myself and
minutes I’m like okay fixing myself and
minutes I’m like okay fixing myself and hoping that I look really smart and
hoping that I look really smart and
hoping that I look really smart and hoping that I don’t look too eager
hoping that I don’t look too eager
hoping that I don’t look too eager although I’m sure I just looked like a
although I’m sure I just looked like a
although I’m sure I just looked like a bumbling idiot just waiting like this
bumbling idiot just waiting like this
bumbling idiot just waiting like this little girl and I remember the flight
little girl and I remember the flight
little girl and I remember the flight finally came was probably at 1 o’clock
finally came was probably at 1 o’clock
finally came was probably at 1 o’clock in the morning and she had long hair and
in the morning and she had long hair and
in the morning and she had long hair and she came down the the jet way you know
she came down the the jet way you know
she came down the the jet way you know she was walking down the jet way and I
she was walking down the jet way and I
she was walking down the jet way and I was watching her and she came out like a
was watching her and she came out like a
was watching her and she came out like a queen and I just sat there speechless
queen and I just sat there speechless
queen and I just sat there speechless like I can’t believe this is really
like I can’t believe this is really
like I can’t believe this is really Louise hey and I’m gonna meet her and
Louise hey and I’m gonna meet her and
Louise hey and I’m gonna meet her and you know she’s looking around and I’m
you know she’s looking around and I’m
you know she’s looking around and I’m I’m just so taken by her that I forget
I’m just so taken by her that I forget
I’m just so taken by her that I forget that I’m supposed to stand up ago hi I’m
that I’m supposed to stand up ago hi I’m
that I’m supposed to stand up ago hi I’m here volunteer and eventually I did that
here volunteer and eventually I did that
here volunteer and eventually I did that she was very gracious and got in the car
she was very gracious and got in the car
she was very gracious and got in the car and drove her back and then went to pick
and drove her back and then went to pick
and drove her back and then went to pick her up at the hotel the next night to
her up at the hotel the next night to
her up at the hotel the next night to take her to the venue where she was
take her to the venue where she was
take her to the venue where she was going to speak and I just remember she
going to speak and I just remember she
going to speak and I just remember she just had such a presence about her way
just had such a presence about her way
just had such a presence about her way back then that she still has today and
back then that she still has today and
back then that she still has today and that night when I heard her speak that
that night when I heard her speak that
that night when I heard her speak that along with some other events that
along with some other events that
along with some other events that occurred during that time was the
occurred during that time was the
occurred during that time was the awakening when I thought wow there’s
awakening when I thought wow there’s
awakening when I thought wow there’s something about the way I think that may
something about the way I think that may
something about the way I think that may be influencing what’s happening in my
be influencing what’s happening in my
be influencing what’s happening in my life
life
life and so somebody had said to me and I
and so somebody had said to me and I
and so somebody had said to me and I don’t remember who it was it was some
don’t remember who it was it was some
don’t remember who it was it was some teacher and talked about how you know
teacher and talked about how you know
teacher and talked about how you know there is this power of greater than us
there is this power of greater than us
there is this power of greater than us at work in the world and you know one of
at work in the world and you know one of
at work in the world and you know one of the ways you can test it is one of the
the ways you can test it is one of the
the ways you can test it is one of the ways you can test how are thinking
ways you can test how are thinking
ways you can test how are thinking partners with this greater power and in
partners with this greater power and in
partners with this greater power and in that partnership we can manifest things
that partnership we can manifest things
that partnership we can manifest things in our life and one of the ways you can
in our life and one of the ways you can
in our life and one of the ways you can test it is very simple just take a
test it is very simple just take a
test it is very simple just take a little yellow sticky note and write down
little yellow sticky note and write down
little yellow sticky note and write down two or three things you’d really like to
two or three things you’d really like to
two or three things you’d really like to have in your life and then keep that
have in your life and then keep that
have in your life and then keep that sticky note in view so that you see it
sticky note in view so that you see it
sticky note in view so that you see it all the time you don’t focus on it too
all the time you don’t focus on it too
all the time you don’t focus on it too hard but you just keep it in your
hard but you just keep it in your
hard but you just keep it in your consciousness and so I thought yeah this
consciousness and so I thought yeah this
consciousness and so I thought yeah this is a bunch of baloney but I’ll give it a
is a bunch of baloney but I’ll give it a
is a bunch of baloney but I’ll give it a try I’m willing to try anything so I
try I’m willing to try anything so I
try I’m willing to try anything so I take the little yellow sticky note and I
take the little yellow sticky note and I
take the little yellow sticky note and I write I specifically right now because
write I specifically right now because
write I specifically right now because they said you have to be very specific
they said you have to be very specific
they said you have to be very specific about what you want I’ll be general so I
about what you want I’ll be general so I
about what you want I’ll be general so I write exactly the kind of computer that
write exactly the kind of computer that
write exactly the kind of computer that I wanted I was a young writer you know
I wanted I was a young writer you know
I wanted I was a young writer you know and wanted back then it was a big deal
and wanted back then it was a big deal
and wanted back then it was a big deal to get a computer with a word processor
to get a computer with a word processor
to get a computer with a word processor on you know word processor on it and so
on you know word processor on it and so
on you know word processor on it and so I specifically wrote the kind of
I specifically wrote the kind of
I specifically wrote the kind of computer and the kind of software and
computer and the kind of software and
computer and the kind of software and the kind of word processor that I wanted
the kind of word processor that I wanted
the kind of word processor that I wanted and then I put down that I wanted to
and then I put down that I wanted to
and then I put down that I wanted to travel and this person that said by the
travel and this person that said by the
travel and this person that said by the way if there’s certain things you want
way if there’s certain things you want
way if there’s certain things you want make sure you put the word free in front
make sure you put the word free in front
make sure you put the word free in front of them like make it fun so I wrote free
of them like make it fun so I wrote free
of them like make it fun so I wrote free travel and there was a third thing I
travel and there was a third thing I
travel and there was a third thing I don’t remember what it was but this was
don’t remember what it was but this was
don’t remember what it was but this was in November about a month later for
in November about a month later for
in November about a month later for Christmas my boss at the time I was
Christmas my boss at the time I was
Christmas my boss at the time I was working for an entrepreneur as an
working for an entrepreneur as an
working for an entrepreneur as an administrative assistant my boss gave me
administrative assistant my boss gave me
administrative assistant my boss gave me the exact computer that I had written
the exact computer that I had written
the exact computer that I had written down on the yellow sticky note as a
down on the yellow sticky note as a
down on the yellow sticky note as a Christmas gift
Christmas gift
Christmas gift and I remember when I opened the box and
and I remember when I opened the box and
and I remember when I opened the box and I saw what it was and I saw it happened
I saw what it was and I saw it happened
I saw what it was and I saw it happened to be something I had worked on a system
to be something I had worked on a system
to be something I had worked on a system I had worked on for him and I saw what
I had worked on for him and I saw what
I had worked on for him and I saw what he had given me I got oh my god what if
he had given me I got oh my god what if
he had given me I got oh my god what if this actually works then I went now it
this actually works then I went now it
this actually works then I went now it came possibly it’s just a coincidence
came possibly it’s just a coincidence
came possibly it’s just a coincidence and I said the heck put that in neo
and I said the heck put that in neo
and I said the heck put that in neo threw it away but then two weeks later a
threw it away but then two weeks later a
threw it away but then two weeks later a dear friend of mine who worked for a
dear friend of mine who worked for a
dear friend of mine who worked for a large fortune 50 company called me and
large fortune 50 company called me and
large fortune 50 company called me and said hey guess what I won the top
said hey guess what I won the top
said hey guess what I won the top salesperson award in my company and it’s
salesperson award in my company and it’s
salesperson award in my company and it’s a free trip to Boca Vuitton to stay in
a free trip to Boca Vuitton to stay in
a free trip to Boca Vuitton to stay in the presidential suite of the Boca Raton
the presidential suite of the Boca Raton
the presidential suite of the Boca Raton Resort Hotel I don’t even know where
Resort Hotel I don’t even know where
Resort Hotel I don’t even know where Boca Raton was but she said you know I
Boca Raton was but she said you know I
Boca Raton was but she said you know I can bring a guest with me you want to
can bring a guest with me you want to
can bring a guest with me you want to come with me it won’t cost anything and
come with me it won’t cost anything and
come with me it won’t cost anything and we’ll get to stay in the presidential
we’ll get to stay in the presidential
we’ll get to stay in the presidential suite and that’s when I went okay give
suite and that’s when I went okay give
suite and that’s when I went okay give me that little sticky dot again maybe
me that little sticky dot again maybe
me that little sticky dot again maybe there’s something to this you know and
there’s something to this you know and
there’s something to this you know and sure enough and that was a very powerful
sure enough and that was a very powerful
sure enough and that was a very powerful experience for me you know I’ve since
experience for me you know I’ve since
experience for me you know I’ve since grown up a lot since then and I don’t
grown up a lot since then and I don’t
grown up a lot since then and I don’t see the universe as Santa Claus where
see the universe as Santa Claus where
see the universe as Santa Claus where you just sort of write things down and
you just sort of write things down and
you just sort of write things down and they happen there’s a lot more to it
they happen there’s a lot more to it
they happen there’s a lot more to it than that
than that
than that however it was my commitment to be awake
however it was my commitment to be awake
however it was my commitment to be awake to become more conscious and my
to become more conscious and my
to become more conscious and my willingness to actually think about what
willingness to actually think about what
willingness to actually think about what I wanted you know that experience gave
I wanted you know that experience gave
I wanted you know that experience gave me a a visceral sense of what it was
me a a visceral sense of what it was
me a a visceral sense of what it was like to be the master of my own destiny
like to be the master of my own destiny
like to be the master of my own destiny instead of feeling like the victim or
instead of feeling like the victim or
instead of feeling like the victim or instead of feeling like I was at the
instead of feeling like I was at the
instead of feeling like I was at the effect of the world maybe I had
effect of the world maybe I had
effect of the world maybe I had something to do with this as well and so
something to do with this as well and so
something to do with this as well and so you know many many years later I’m 2025
you know many many years later I’m 2025
you know many many years later I’m 2025 years older and I realized that the gift
years older and I realized that the gift
years older and I realized that the gift of that little sticky note was the the
of that little sticky note was the the
of that little sticky note was the the recognition the spark of recognition
recognition the spark of recognition
recognition the spark of recognition that I have a lot more to do with what
that I have a lot more to do with what
that I have a lot more to do with what happens in my life and in the lives of
happens in my life and in the lives of
happens in my life and in the lives of the people around me than I ever
the people around me than I ever
the people around me than I ever realized and therefore I need to be very
realized and therefore I need to be very
realized and therefore I need to be very responsible about that power and it’s my
responsible about that power and it’s my
responsible about that power and it’s my duty to use it
some of the challenges I see with the
some of the challenges I see with the purple with the purple some of the
purple with the purple some of the
purple with the purple some of the challenges I see with purple purple
challenges I see with purple purple
challenges I see with purple purple really bothers me okay
really bothers me okay
really bothers me okay there’s something about purple don’t get
there’s something about purple don’t get
there’s something about purple don’t get me started cuz I’ll do a whole Saturday
me started cuz I’ll do a whole Saturday
me started cuz I’ll do a whole Saturday Night Live great some of the challenges
Night Live great some of the challenges
Night Live great some of the challenges that people are faced with are the same
that people are faced with are the same
that people are faced with are the same kinds of things the same challenges I’ve
kinds of things the same challenges I’ve
kinds of things the same challenges I’ve been faced with impatience a lack of
been faced with impatience a lack of
been faced with impatience a lack of clarity so let’s start there with a lack
clarity so let’s start there with a lack
clarity so let’s start there with a lack of clarity most of us think in
of clarity most of us think in
of clarity most of us think in generalities I hate my job I want a new
generalities I hate my job I want a new
generalities I hate my job I want a new job okay that’s great that’s a great
job okay that’s great that’s a great
job okay that’s great that’s a great place to start but what are you looking
place to start but what are you looking
place to start but what are you looking for like getting specific knowing what
for like getting specific knowing what
for like getting specific knowing what you want a lot of people know what they
you want a lot of people know what they
you want a lot of people know what they don’t want but they don’t necessarily
don’t want but they don’t necessarily
don’t want but they don’t necessarily know what they want so really taking the
know what they want so really taking the
know what they want so really taking the time to clarify what it is you want like
time to clarify what it is you want like
time to clarify what it is you want like really investing the time in that it’s
really investing the time in that it’s
really investing the time in that it’s amazing to me we’re so busy that we
amazing to me we’re so busy that we
amazing to me we’re so busy that we don’t really put a lot of time and
don’t really put a lot of time and
don’t really put a lot of time and energy into really sitting down and
energy into really sitting down and
energy into really sitting down and saying what you know what’s working in
saying what you know what’s working in
saying what you know what’s working in my life what isn’t what do I want to
my life what isn’t what do I want to
my life what isn’t what do I want to change and then specifically looking at
change and then specifically looking at
change and then specifically looking at what I want to change so clarity you
what I want to change so clarity you
what I want to change so clarity you know and then another obstacle is just
know and then another obstacle is just
know and then another obstacle is just not knowing what to do like a lot of
not knowing what to do like a lot of
not knowing what to do like a lot of times we’re missing information about
times we’re missing information about
times we’re missing information about what the next step might be in terms of
what the next step might be in terms of
what the next step might be in terms of the action equation of affirmations plus
the action equation of affirmations plus
the action equation of affirmations plus actions equals miracles right a lot of
actions equals miracles right a lot of
actions equals miracles right a lot of times we’re missing information about
times we’re missing information about
times we’re missing information about what to do how to take action but we
what to do how to take action but we
what to do how to take action but we call it something else like I must be
call it something else like I must be
call it something else like I must be afraid that that’s why I’m stuck or I’m
afraid that that’s why I’m stuck or I’m
afraid that that’s why I’m stuck or I’m sabotaging my success that’s a big one
sabotaging my success that’s a big one
sabotaging my success that’s a big one that’s why you know my my intentions
that’s why you know my my intentions
that’s why you know my my intentions aren’t happening for me or that’s why
aren’t happening for me or that’s why
aren’t happening for me or that’s why I’m stuck I’m you know I have a fear of
I’m stuck I’m you know I have a fear of
I’m stuck I’m you know I have a fear of success
success
success that’s why I’m stuck when really a lot
that’s why I’m stuck when really a lot
that’s why I’m stuck when really a lot of times it’s quite simple people just
of times it’s quite simple people just
of times it’s quite simple people just don’t know what to do next that’s where
don’t know what to do next that’s where
don’t know what to do next that’s where the profession of coaching has been so
the profession of coaching has been so
the profession of coaching has been so helpful because if you say to me you
helpful because if you say to me you
helpful because if you say to me you want to write a book you know believe me
want to write a book you know believe me
want to write a book you know believe me you’re gonna talk to me about you know
you’re gonna talk to me about you know
you’re gonna talk to me about you know how you’re afraid you have nothing
how you’re afraid you have nothing
how you’re afraid you have nothing important to say or it’s all been said
important to say or it’s all been said
important to say or it’s all been said before and you think that’s what’s
before and you think that’s what’s
before and you think that’s what’s keeping you stuck but the truth is you
keeping you stuck but the truth is you
keeping you stuck but the truth is you don’t know that oh I have to write a
don’t know that oh I have to write a
don’t know that oh I have to write a book proposal great what does that look
book proposal great what does that look
book proposal great what does that look like oh you know what there’s a book out
like oh you know what there’s a book out
like oh you know what there’s a book out there called how to write the perfect
there called how to write the perfect
there called how to write the perfect book proposal and if you read it it will
book proposal and if you read it it will
book proposal and if you read it it will show you what it looks like and then you
show you what it looks like and then you
show you what it looks like and then you can actually do it what I’ve found
can actually do it what I’ve found
can actually do it what I’ve found that’s so wonderful and resilient and
that’s so wonderful and resilient and
that’s so wonderful and resilient and encouraging and inspiring about Humanity
encouraging and inspiring about Humanity
encouraging and inspiring about Humanity is we will take actions but someone just
is we will take actions but someone just
is we will take actions but someone just helps us to know what it is we need to
helps us to know what it is we need to
helps us to know what it is we need to do and another important obstacle I
do and another important obstacle I
do and another important obstacle I think is isolation we’re lonely and we
think is isolation we’re lonely and we
think is isolation we’re lonely and we need each other you know we came to this
need each other you know we came to this
need each other you know we came to this planet together for a reason and I think
planet together for a reason and I think
planet together for a reason and I think it’s a lack of support and an inability
it’s a lack of support and an inability
it’s a lack of support and an inability to ask for help that often keeps us
to ask for help that often keeps us
to ask for help that often keeps us stuck so you may have an intention I
stuck so you may have an intention I
stuck so you may have an intention I want to write a book you finally get the
want to write a book you finally get the
want to write a book you finally get the information about what it is you need to
information about what it is you need to
information about what it is you need to do but then you get scared along the way
do but then you get scared along the way
do but then you get scared along the way because we get scared and who’s there to
because we get scared and who’s there to
because we get scared and who’s there to hold your hand or to say you know what
hold your hand or to say you know what
hold your hand or to say you know what it’s okay you know yes you can do this
it’s okay you know yes you can do this
it’s okay you know yes you can do this just like let’s break it down into to an
just like let’s break it down into to an
just like let’s break it down into to an even smaller step so that you stay
even smaller step so that you stay
even smaller step so that you stay moving in the right direction instead of
moving in the right direction instead of
moving in the right direction instead of allowing yourself to be stuck and you
allowing yourself to be stuck and you
allowing yourself to be stuck and you know by the way don’t go to the hardware
know by the way don’t go to the hardware
know by the way don’t go to the hardware store for milk make sure you turn to
store for milk make sure you turn to
store for milk make sure you turn to people for support who are really going
people for support who are really going
people for support who are really going to support you because a lot of us when
to support you because a lot of us when
to support you because a lot of us when we start doing those things to honor our
we start doing those things to honor our
we start doing those things to honor our soul or to express our creativity those
soul or to express our creativity those
soul or to express our creativity those are really vulnerable acts you know the
are really vulnerable acts you know the
are really vulnerable acts you know the things that we intend or that we affirm
things that we intend or that we affirm
things that we intend or that we affirm for our lives are those things that are
for our lives are those things that are
for our lives are those things that are deeply important to our soul and so
deeply important to our soul and so
deeply important to our soul and so they’re vulnerable
they’re vulnerable
they’re vulnerable and too often we turn to people who just
and too often we turn to people who just
and too often we turn to people who just squash them you know or who tell you why
squash them you know or who tell you why
squash them you know or who tell you why it isn’t gonna work or why that’s a
it isn’t gonna work or why that’s a
it isn’t gonna work or why that’s a crazy affirmation or that’s a crazy
crazy affirmation or that’s a crazy
crazy affirmation or that’s a crazy intention that’s called going to the
intention that’s called going to the
intention that’s called going to the hardware store for milk you want to go
hardware store for milk you want to go
hardware store for milk you want to go to the people who are really going to
to the people who are really going to
to the people who are really going to hold your hand on the journey and say
hold your hand on the journey and say
hold your hand on the journey and say hey I’m there right there with you so
hey I’m there right there with you so
hey I’m there right there with you so those are some of the obstacles
those are some of the obstacles
those are some of the obstacles so in my life I would say the first I
so in my life I would say the first I
so in my life I would say the first I can’t say the first half of my life
can’t say the first half of my life
can’t say the first half of my life because who knows where I am in it but
because who knows where I am in it but
because who knows where I am in it but probably the first thirty thirty or so
probably the first thirty thirty or so
probably the first thirty thirty or so years of my life most of my spiritual
years of my life most of my spiritual
years of my life most of my spiritual growth was around relationships I
growth was around relationships I
growth was around relationships I actually find that to be true for a lot
actually find that to be true for a lot
actually find that to be true for a lot of people that it’s our relationships
of people that it’s our relationships
of people that it’s our relationships particularly our romantic or intimate
particularly our romantic or intimate
particularly our romantic or intimate relationships where we get challenged
relationships where we get challenged
relationships where we get challenged the most early on and so a lot of my I
the most early on and so a lot of my I
the most early on and so a lot of my I would often choose men I would often
would often choose men I would often
would often choose men I would often fall in love with a man’s potential and
fall in love with a man’s potential and
fall in love with a man’s potential and then have a relationship with the dream
then have a relationship with the dream
then have a relationship with the dream of that relationship so I would
of that relationship so I would
of that relationship so I would literally be in relationship with the
literally be in relationship with the
literally be in relationship with the dream of what it could be instead of the
dream of what it could be instead of the
dream of what it could be instead of the reality of what it was and that’s like
reality of what it was and that’s like
reality of what it was and that’s like probably the most prevalent theme
probably the most prevalent theme
probably the most prevalent theme throughout all of my early relationships
throughout all of my early relationships
throughout all of my early relationships and the gift of them the gift of every
and the gift of them the gift of every
and the gift of them the gift of every single person I was ever involved with
single person I was ever involved with
single person I was ever involved with and I see all of them as spiritual
and I see all of them as spiritual
and I see all of them as spiritual change agents today is that they really
change agents today is that they really
change agents today is that they really forced me to grow you know there were
forced me to grow you know there were
forced me to grow you know there were the painful relationships with the men
the painful relationships with the men
the painful relationships with the men who weren’t emotionally available and I
who weren’t emotionally available and I
who weren’t emotionally available and I thought for sure you know they just they
thought for sure you know they just they
thought for sure you know they just they couldn’t feel their feelings and they
couldn’t feel their feelings and they
couldn’t feel their feelings and they couldn’t be there for me emotionally
couldn’t be there for me emotionally
couldn’t be there for me emotionally until you know a therapist said to me
until you know a therapist said to me
until you know a therapist said to me did it ever occur to you that maybe you
did it ever occur to you that maybe you
did it ever occur to you that maybe you can’t feel your feelings and you can’t
can’t feel your feelings and you can’t
can’t feel your feelings and you can’t be there emotionally for people and that
be there emotionally for people and that
be there emotionally for people and that was a whole new concept for me and you
was a whole new concept for me and you
was a whole new concept for me and you know and so that man who quote couldn’t
know and so that man who quote couldn’t
know and so that man who quote couldn’t feel his feelings became a catalyst for
feel his feelings became a catalyst for
feel his feelings became a catalyst for me looking at my own inability to do
me looking at my own inability to do
me looking at my own inability to do that and so a lot of my relationships
that and so a lot of my relationships
that and so a lot of my relationships were unbalanced as well a lot of times I
were unbalanced as well a lot of times I
were unbalanced as well a lot of times I would choose partners who weren’t ready
would choose partners who weren’t ready
would choose partners who weren’t ready for their own commitment to
for their own commitment to
for their own commitment to consciousness like I was and I was
consciousness like I was and I was
consciousness like I was and I was trying to get them on board which is a
trying to get them on board which is a
trying to get them on board which is a really arrogant and inappropriate thing
really arrogant and inappropriate thing
really arrogant and inappropriate thing to do but I didn’t know it at the time I
to do but I didn’t know it at the time I
to do but I didn’t know it at the time I thought I was being helpful and you know
thought I was being helpful and you know
thought I was being helpful and you know controlling looked like helpful and
controlling looked like helpful and
controlling looked like helpful and loving and and so I reached a point in
loving and and so I reached a point in
loving and and so I reached a point in my life I mean the truth was I was
my life I mean the truth was I was
my life I mean the truth was I was really afraid of being alone and so I
really afraid of being alone and so I
really afraid of being alone and so I would rather be in a relationship that
would rather be in a relationship that
would rather be in a relationship that wasn’t fulfilling than be alone you know
wasn’t fulfilling than be alone you know
wasn’t fulfilling than be alone you know like a lot of women I grew up you know
like a lot of women I grew up you know
like a lot of women I grew up you know from generations of women where it was
from generations of women where it was
from generations of women where it was just it wasn’t okay to be alone and so
just it wasn’t okay to be alone and so
just it wasn’t okay to be alone and so when I finally had enough therapy under
when I finally had enough therapy under
when I finally had enough therapy under my belt and enough healing under my belt
my belt and enough healing under my belt
my belt and enough healing under my belt where I said you know what something
where I said you know what something
where I said you know what something tells me I better be alone for a while
tells me I better be alone for a while
tells me I better be alone for a while if I’m gonna find a good relationship
if I’m gonna find a good relationship
if I’m gonna find a good relationship and I finally got my own apartment and
and I finally got my own apartment and
and I finally got my own apartment and moved in and dealt with all of the
moved in and dealt with all of the
moved in and dealt with all of the discomfort of that in the beginning and
discomfort of that in the beginning and
discomfort of that in the beginning and then quit not quickly was not quickly
then quit not quickly was not quickly
then quit not quickly was not quickly over time began to fall in love with
over time began to fall in love with
over time began to fall in love with myself and my own place and then I
myself and my own place and then I
myself and my own place and then I started to think about meeting a partner
started to think about meeting a partner
started to think about meeting a partner and I started to you know face the
and I started to you know face the
and I started to you know face the reality that I was lonely in a different
reality that I was lonely in a different
reality that I was lonely in a different way and that I wanted someone to share
way and that I wanted someone to share
way and that I wanted someone to share my life with you know by that point so
my life with you know by that point so
my life with you know by that point so this is around 33 or 34 I had a clear
this is around 33 or 34 I had a clear
this is around 33 or 34 I had a clear history of having intentions having
history of having intentions having
history of having intentions having affirmations taking actions and watching
affirmations taking actions and watching
affirmations taking actions and watching miracles unfold in my life I mean I have
miracles unfold in my life I mean I have
miracles unfold in my life I mean I have a million examples of how that happened
a million examples of how that happened
a million examples of how that happened in very powerful ways and I write a lot
in very powerful ways and I write a lot
in very powerful ways and I write a lot about those experiences and so I decided
about those experiences and so I decided
about those experiences and so I decided you know what I’m gonna take this and
you know what I’m gonna take this and
you know what I’m gonna take this and I’m gonna craft myself a great partner
I’m gonna craft myself a great partner
I’m gonna craft myself a great partner and I spent seven days writing about
and I spent seven days writing about
and I spent seven days writing about exactly the kind of man I’d like to meet
exactly the kind of man I’d like to meet
exactly the kind of man I’d like to meet his physical qualities intellectual
his physical qualities intellectual
his physical qualities intellectual where he was at financially in his life
where he was at financially in his life
where he was at financially in his life spiritually all the way down to I hope
spiritually all the way down to I hope
spiritually all the way down to I hope he loves dogs and you know I hope he has
he loves dogs and you know I hope he has
he loves dogs and you know I hope he has dark hair and dark eyes because I’m so
dark hair and dark eyes because I’m so
dark hair and dark eyes because I’m so attracted to men with dark hair and dark
attracted to men with dark hair and dark
attracted to men with dark hair and dark eyes my prayer is always you know to God
eyes my prayer is always you know to God
eyes my prayer is always you know to God please allow this or something greater
please allow this or something greater
please allow this or something greater to occur you know please if this isn’t
to occur you know please if this isn’t
to occur you know please if this isn’t in my highest and best interest that’s
in my highest and best interest that’s
in my highest and best interest that’s okay don’t let it happen then you know
okay don’t let it happen then you know
okay don’t let it happen then you know but please make this or something
but please make this or something
but please make this or something greater occur that supports my highest
greater occur that supports my highest
greater occur that supports my highest and best interest so every day I worked
and best interest so every day I worked
and best interest so every day I worked on this list and then at the end of
on this list and then at the end of
on this list and then at the end of seven days I gave it to a close friend
seven days I gave it to a close friend
seven days I gave it to a close friend and I said here have I missed anything
and I said here have I missed anything
and I said here have I missed anything because you’re always gonna miss
because you’re always gonna miss
because you’re always gonna miss something and I did and she helped me to
something and I did and she helped me to
something and I did and she helped me to you know really tighten up the list and
you know really tighten up the list and
you know really tighten up the list and then I created a treasure map something
then I created a treasure map something
then I created a treasure map something I’ve taught for years and I took a big
I’ve taught for years and I took a big
I’ve taught for years and I took a big poster board and I started to take
poster board and I started to take
poster board and I started to take pictures of men that I thought were
pictures of men that I thought were
pictures of men that I thought were attractive out of magazines to kind of
attractive out of magazines to kind of
attractive out of magazines to kind of fit that profile and I in men with dogs
fit that profile and I in men with dogs
fit that profile and I in men with dogs and you know men engaged and different
and you know men engaged and different
and you know men engaged and different act the kinds of things that I like to
act the kinds of things that I like to
act the kinds of things that I like to do and you know just this board sort of
do and you know just this board sort of
do and you know just this board sort of like a storyboard of what my life would
like a storyboard of what my life would
like a storyboard of what my life would look like if I were in love with my
look like if I were in love with my
look like if I were in love with my perfect mate
perfect mate
perfect mate one night I was sitting in my apartment
one night I was sitting in my apartment
one night I was sitting in my apartment with a girl friend of mine who was an
with a girl friend of mine who was an
with a girl friend of mine who was an actress and she was going through a
actress and she was going through a
actress and she was going through a magazine that had personal ads in it and
magazine that had personal ads in it and
magazine that had personal ads in it and she was reading the different personal
she was reading the different personal
she was reading the different personal ads with different accents as part of
ads with different accents as part of
ads with different accents as part of her acting training so she gave it to me
her acting training so she gave it to me
her acting training so she gave it to me she said here you try with an Italian
she said here you try with an Italian
she said here you try with an Italian accent I suck at that so I said you know
accent I suck at that so I said you know
accent I suck at that so I said you know I’d open up the magazine and I start to
I’d open up the magazine and I start to
I’d open up the magazine and I start to read this one out and I say to her oh my
read this one out and I say to her oh my
read this one out and I say to her oh my god this is an amazing ad she said read
god this is an amazing ad she said read
god this is an amazing ad she said read it to me and I read it to her and I said
it to me and I read it to her and I said
it to me and I read it to her and I said wow there was something about it that
wow there was something about it that
wow there was something about it that just really hit me and she said call it
just really hit me and she said call it
just really hit me and she said call it I said absolutely not I’m not calling a
I said absolutely not I’m not calling a
I said absolutely not I’m not calling a personal ad are you kidding me
personal ad are you kidding me
personal ad are you kidding me she said I dare you to call it I said no
she said I dare you to call it I said no
she said I dare you to call it I said no way I’m not doing it so I put the
way I’m not doing it so I put the
way I’m not doing it so I put the magazine down every day for four days I
magazine down every day for four days I
magazine down every day for four days I picked up that magazine in my apartment
picked up that magazine in my apartment
picked up that magazine in my apartment and I read that ad and on the fifth day
and I read that ad and on the fifth day
and I read that ad and on the fifth day I remembered affirmations plus action
I remembered affirmations plus action
I remembered affirmations plus action creates miracles and I remember where I
creates miracles and I remember where I
creates miracles and I remember where I was standing I remember the exact phone
was standing I remember the exact phone
was standing I remember the exact phone I used I picked up the phone and I
I used I picked up the phone and I
I used I picked up the phone and I dialed the box number on the ad and
dialed the box number on the ad and
dialed the box number on the ad and before I said anything into the
before I said anything into the
before I said anything into the recording I hope I said out loud I’m
recording I hope I said out loud I’m
recording I hope I said out loud I’m this is my prayer to the universe I’m
this is my prayer to the universe I’m
this is my prayer to the universe I’m ready to meet somebody important in my
ready to meet somebody important in my
ready to meet somebody important in my life I don’t know whether it’s this
life I don’t know whether it’s this
life I don’t know whether it’s this person or not but this phone call is my
person or not but this phone call is my
person or not but this phone call is my willingness to take action to make that
willingness to take action to make that
willingness to take action to make that happen
happen
happen two days later Michael called I love the
two days later Michael called I love the
two days later Michael called I love the name Michael by the way as well and he
name Michael by the way as well and he
name Michael by the way as well and he called to respond to the ad and we spoke
called to respond to the ad and we spoke
called to respond to the ad and we spoke by phone I was so nervous talked by
by phone I was so nervous talked by
by phone I was so nervous talked by phone he sent me his photo I sent him
phone he sent me his photo I sent him
phone he sent me his photo I sent him mind on the day that we were supposed to
mind on the day that we were supposed to
mind on the day that we were supposed to meet for dinner I went to the post
meet for dinner I went to the post
meet for dinner I went to the post office in his photo never arrived and I
office in his photo never arrived and I
office in his photo never arrived and I thought I thought to myself God should I
thought I thought to myself God should I
thought I thought to myself God should I cancelled the date and wait for the
cancelled the date and wait for the
cancelled the date and wait for the photo and I said yeah just go and I
photo and I said yeah just go and I
photo and I said yeah just go and I walked to the you know I went to the
walked to the you know I went to the
walked to the you know I went to the restaurant artist to meet him and he
restaurant artist to meet him and he
restaurant artist to meet him and he walks through the door and I’ll never
walks through the door and I’ll never
walks through the door and I’ll never forget he walked through the door I
forget he walked through the door I
forget he walked through the door I thought please God
thought please God
thought please God and he walked up to me and he went
and he walked up to me and he went
and he walked up to me and he went Cheryl and here I was this professional
Cheryl and here I was this professional
Cheryl and here I was this professional speaker right this like all together
speaker right this like all together
speaker right this like all together woman and I went Michel like a little
woman and I went Michel like a little
woman and I went Michel like a little girl and that night was the first time
girl and that night was the first time
girl and that night was the first time in my life where I couldn’t catch my
in my life where I couldn’t catch my
in my life where I couldn’t catch my breath through the whole dinners matter
breath through the whole dinners matter
breath through the whole dinners matter fact he started making fun of me and as
fact he started making fun of me and as
fact he started making fun of me and as I got to know him I realized he met just
I got to know him I realized he met just
I got to know him I realized he met just about everything on my list except
about everything on my list except
about everything on my list except cooking I forgot to put a man that cooks
cooking I forgot to put a man that cooks
cooking I forgot to put a man that cooks on my list which I really want to go on
on my list which I really want to go on
on my list which I really want to go on record is saying is an important thing
record is saying is an important thing
record is saying is an important thing if you don’t cook but no but honest to
if you don’t cook but no but honest to
if you don’t cook but no but honest to god
god
god so that was thirteen years ago and I
so that was thirteen years ago and I
so that was thirteen years ago and I knew this was the man I was gonna marry
knew this was the man I was gonna marry
knew this was the man I was gonna marry it was the best day of my life to marry
it was the best day of my life to marry
it was the best day of my life to marry him he could make me cry just thinking
him he could make me cry just thinking
him he could make me cry just thinking about it and that was a powerful example
about it and that was a powerful example
about it and that was a powerful example of having a strong affirmation really
of having a strong affirmation really
of having a strong affirmation really being clear about what it is you want
being clear about what it is you want
being clear about what it is you want being willing to take the actions to
being willing to take the actions to
being willing to take the actions to make it happen and by the way really
make it happen and by the way really
make it happen and by the way really investing in how you know how I needed
investing in how you know how I needed
investing in how you know how I needed to grow in order to match that list and
to grow in order to match that list and
to grow in order to match that list and I got you know that’s what a soulmate
I got you know that’s what a soulmate
I got you know that’s what a soulmate really is and that’s when I look look at
really is and that’s when I look look at
really is and that’s when I look look at all of the things that have occurred in
all of the things that have occurred in
all of the things that have occurred in my life as a result of my intentions
my life as a result of my intentions
my life as a result of my intentions that’s the best one you know it’s
that’s the best one you know it’s
that’s the best one you know it’s amazing to me how when we create
amazing to me how when we create
amazing to me how when we create intentions and affirmations from that
intentions and affirmations from that
intentions and affirmations from that pure soul place what we’re really
pure soul place what we’re really
pure soul place what we’re really calling into our lives are the very
calling into our lives are the very
calling into our lives are the very things that are meant to assist us in
things that are meant to assist us in
things that are meant to assist us in our spiritual journey I mean my life is
our spiritual journey I mean my life is
our spiritual journey I mean my life is so far different than I could have ever
so far different than I could have ever
so far different than I could have ever imagined and I wouldn’t I didn’t know
imagined and I wouldn’t I didn’t know
imagined and I wouldn’t I didn’t know like sometimes we don’t know the power
like sometimes we don’t know the power
like sometimes we don’t know the power of our intentions and our affirmations
of our intentions and our affirmations
of our intentions and our affirmations and that’s why it’s so important to
and that’s why it’s so important to
and that’s why it’s so important to listen to that little voice inside
listen to that little voice inside
listen to that little voice inside because you know Emmett Fox said it
because you know Emmett Fox said it
because you know Emmett Fox said it years ago you know the great the great
years ago you know the great the great
years ago you know the great the great spiritual teacher from the early 1900’s
spiritual teacher from the early 1900’s
spiritual teacher from the early 1900’s Emmett Fox said usually our deepest
Emmett Fox said usually our deepest
Emmett Fox said usually our deepest desires are those things that that we’re
desires are those things that that we’re
desires are those things that that we’re most were the most embarrassed to admit
most were the most embarrassed to admit
most were the most embarrassed to admit out loud you know we don’t want to say
out loud you know we don’t want to say
out loud you know we don’t want to say them out loud but those are usually the
them out loud but those are usually the
them out loud but those are usually the desires of the soul and when we state
desires of the soul and when we state
desires of the soul and when we state them and when we put them in writing and
them and when we put them in writing and
them and when we put them in writing and when we start to act on them there is
when we start to act on them there is
when we start to act on them there is this divine power that rallies behind us
this divine power that rallies behind us
this divine power that rallies behind us to support our efforts I mean I met
to support our efforts I mean I met
to support our efforts I mean I met Michael in two weeks that’s pretty quick
Michael in two weeks that’s pretty quick
Michael in two weeks that’s pretty quick manifestation wouldn’t you say but there
manifestation wouldn’t you say but there
manifestation wouldn’t you say but there were a lot of years before that where
were a lot of years before that where
were a lot of years before that where the lag time was much longer and you
the lag time was much longer and you
the lag time was much longer and you know what it was the right time
know what it was the right time
know what it was the right time and a lot of times we intend to bring
and a lot of times we intend to bring
and a lot of times we intend to bring things into our lives into an already to
things into our lives into an already to
things into our lives into an already to full life and so sometimes what we need
full life and so sometimes what we need
full life and so sometimes what we need to do is actually make the space as
to do is actually make the space as
to do is actually make the space as that’s actually part of the action plan
that’s actually part of the action plan
that’s actually part of the action plan is making the space to allow in whatever
is making the space to allow in whatever
is making the space to allow in whatever it is we intend because too many of us
it is we intend because too many of us
it is we intend because too many of us just don’t have the space in our lives
just don’t have the space in our lives
just don’t have the space in our lives for that now that was you know something
for that now that was you know something
for that now that was you know something I really did have to create the space
I really did have to create the space
I really did have to create the space and I also had to look at how deathly
and I also had to look at how deathly
and I also had to look at how deathly afraid I was I saw a marriage as um as a
afraid I was I saw a marriage as um as a
afraid I was I saw a marriage as um as a cage on a very deep level I saw it as a
cage on a very deep level I saw it as a
cage on a very deep level I saw it as a cage and little did I know I was living
cage and little did I know I was living
cage and little did I know I was living in a cage and when I met this man he had
in a cage and when I met this man he had
in a cage and when I met this man he had the key that opened it who would have
the key that opened it who would have
the key that opened it who would have thought I would have never bought
you know the affirmations is just the
you know the affirmations is just the starting point that’s like going okay
starting point that’s like going okay
starting point that’s like going okay here’s where the goal is what really
here’s where the goal is what really
here’s where the goal is what really gives those affirmations power is the
gives those affirmations power is the
gives those affirmations power is the emotion we put behind it so what’s
emotion we put behind it so what’s
emotion we put behind it so what’s interesting is you start out the journey
interesting is you start out the journey
interesting is you start out the journey going okay let me start here step one is
going okay let me start here step one is
going okay let me start here step one is what’s the affirmation step two is you
what’s the affirmation step two is you
what’s the affirmation step two is you know how can i generate the emotional
know how can i generate the emotional
know how can i generate the emotional power behind that affirmation and a lot
power behind that affirmation and a lot
power behind that affirmation and a lot of that comes from taking actions to
of that comes from taking actions to
of that comes from taking actions to support that affirmation that’s how you
support that affirmation that’s how you
support that affirmation that’s how you begin to step into that state and then
begin to step into that state and then
begin to step into that state and then as you step into that state and you take
as you step into that state and you take
as you step into that state and you take actions and you put the emotional power
actions and you put the emotional power
actions and you put the emotional power behind those affirmations they begin to
behind those affirmations they begin to
behind those affirmations they begin to manifest themselves in your life now you
manifest themselves in your life now you
manifest themselves in your life now you come for a full circle and the opposite
come for a full circle and the opposite
come for a full circle and the opposite then becomes true where or it really is
then becomes true where or it really is
then becomes true where or it really is just a more full circle in that it’s
just a more full circle in that it’s
just a more full circle in that it’s more about living in that powerful
more about living in that powerful
more about living in that powerful emotional state and the belief that all
emotional state and the belief that all
emotional state and the belief that all that I need is right here in this moment
that I need is right here in this moment
that I need is right here in this moment love truly is the most powerful force in
love truly is the most powerful force in
love truly is the most powerful force in the world
the world
the world you know abundance is our birthright and
you know abundance is our birthright and
you know abundance is our birthright and available to each and every one of us if
available to each and every one of us if
available to each and every one of us if it’s part of our spiritual plan and so
it’s part of our spiritual plan and so
it’s part of our spiritual plan and so it’s living in that emotional and
it’s living in that emotional and
it’s living in that emotional and energetic state that is the sort of end
energetic state that is the sort of end
energetic state that is the sort of end I don’t know it’s probably not the end
I don’t know it’s probably not the end
I don’t know it’s probably not the end game we’ll see what happens next right
game we’ll see what happens next right
game we’ll see what happens next right but it is that it’s that way of being
but it is that it’s that way of being
but it is that it’s that way of being that that you get to now live in as a
that that you get to now live in as a
that that you get to now live in as a result of the work you did early on kind
result of the work you did early on kind
result of the work you did early on kind of installing those affirmations in your
of installing those affirmations in your
of installing those affirmations in your brain I think of my brain as a computer
brain I think of my brain as a computer
brain I think of my brain as a computer I’ve installed some great software it
I’ve installed some great software it
I’ve installed some great software it plays in the background I don’t even
plays in the background I don’t even
plays in the background I don’t even know what it is anymore I don’t even
know what it is anymore I don’t even
know what it is anymore I don’t even hear the words but I live in the state
hear the words but I live in the state
hear the words but I live in the state of those words as much as I possibly can
of those words as much as I possibly can
of those words as much as I possibly can and I feel when I’m not living in that
and I feel when I’m not living in that
and I feel when I’m not living in that state I grew up in a family in which we
state I grew up in a family in which we
state I grew up in a family in which we were interested in organic food and the
were interested in organic food and the
were interested in organic food and the mind-body connection actually my father
mind-body connection actually my father
mind-body connection actually my father was a dentist and holistically oriented
was a dentist and holistically oriented
was a dentist and holistically oriented and he would say that you can tell the
and he would say that you can tell the
and he would say that you can tell the state of somebody’s health by looking in
state of somebody’s health by looking in
state of somebody’s health by looking in their mouth and that also the mouth is
their mouth and that also the mouth is
their mouth and that also the mouth is the center of the personality and that’s
the center of the personality and that’s
the center of the personality and that’s why no one likes you mucking around in
why no one likes you mucking around in
why no one likes you mucking around in there and why dentists have the second
there and why dentists have the second
there and why dentists have the second highest suicide rate second to
highest suicide rate second to
highest suicide rate second to psychiatrists in that the mouth is
psychiatrists in that the mouth is
psychiatrists in that the mouth is perhaps less demoralizing than looking
perhaps less demoralizing than looking
perhaps less demoralizing than looking into their mind so I grew up
into their mind so I grew up
into their mind so I grew up with a different take my aunt and uncle
with a different take my aunt and uncle
with a different take my aunt and uncle were both medical doctors straight
were both medical doctors straight
were both medical doctors straight medical doctors and they made fun of my
medical doctors and they made fun of my
medical doctors and they made fun of my father’s ideas but he was always happier
father’s ideas but he was always happier
father’s ideas but he was always happier and our family did not believe too much
and our family did not believe too much
and our family did not believe too much in conventional medicine so my earliest
in conventional medicine so my earliest
in conventional medicine so my earliest memories are of having my brother Billy
memories are of having my brother Billy
memories are of having my brother Billy being signed out of the hospital against
being signed out of the hospital against
being signed out of the hospital against medical advice he wouldn’t eat and a
medical advice he wouldn’t eat and a
medical advice he wouldn’t eat and a nurse came up to my mother and said get
nurse came up to my mother and said get
nurse came up to my mother and said get him out of here the doctors don’t know
him out of here the doctors don’t know
him out of here the doctors don’t know what’s going on he’ll die if he stays
what’s going on he’ll die if he stays
what’s going on he’ll die if he stays here and I’d had a sister who died in
here and I’d had a sister who died in
here and I’d had a sister who died in the hospital early on and she didn’t eat
the hospital early on and she didn’t eat
the hospital early on and she didn’t eat either and we never knew what was wrong
either and we never knew what was wrong
either and we never knew what was wrong with her so imagine you’re a kid I’m
with her so imagine you’re a kid I’m
with her so imagine you’re a kid I’m eight at this time and my little brother
eight at this time and my little brother
eight at this time and my little brother is home and he has a tube down his
is home and he has a tube down his
is home and he has a tube down his throat and my parents are feeding him by
throat and my parents are feeding him by
throat and my parents are feeding him by tube every hour on the hour and he’s
tube every hour on the hour and he’s
tube every hour on the hour and he’s throwing it back up and at the age of a
throwing it back up and at the age of a
throwing it back up and at the age of a year he was alive at the age of a year
year he was alive at the age of a year
year he was alive at the age of a year he weighed 10 pounds and my parents
he weighed 10 pounds and my parents
he weighed 10 pounds and my parents tried to find a doctor who knew what was
tried to find a doctor who knew what was
tried to find a doctor who knew what was going on
going on
going on and he finally found a woman doctor dr.
and he finally found a woman doctor dr.
and he finally found a woman doctor dr. Crump at Women’s Medical Center in
Crump at Women’s Medical Center in
Crump at Women’s Medical Center in Philadelphia who did pediatric endoscopy
Philadelphia who did pediatric endoscopy
Philadelphia who did pediatric endoscopy put a tube down and said his esophagus
put a tube down and said his esophagus
put a tube down and said his esophagus is so eroded from this tube that if you
is so eroded from this tube that if you
is so eroded from this tube that if you continue to tube feed him that way
continue to tube feed him that way
continue to tube feed him that way his esophagus will erode through
his esophagus will erode through
his esophagus will erode through there’ll be a big hole in it and he will
there’ll be a big hole in it and he will
there’ll be a big hole in it and he will die let’s take out the tube and see what
die let’s take out the tube and see what
die let’s take out the tube and see what happens and so she had enough faith in
happens and so she had enough faith in
happens and so she had enough faith in the healing power of the human body that
the healing power of the human body that
the healing power of the human body that she took out the tube and they gave him
she took out the tube and they gave him
she took out the tube and they gave him liquids through what was called crisis
liquids through what was called crisis
liquids through what was called crisis where he put a big bolus of fluid with a
where he put a big bolus of fluid with a
where he put a big bolus of fluid with a big needle into the thigh and after a
big needle into the thigh and after a
big needle into the thigh and after a couple days he started to eat and we
couple days he started to eat and we
couple days he started to eat and we still don’t know
still don’t know
still don’t know why and I remember going to the airport
why and I remember going to the airport
why and I remember going to the airport and my mother was holding him on her lap
and my mother was holding him on her lap
and my mother was holding him on her lap and he was eating a role that the
and he was eating a role that the
and he was eating a role that the stewardess had given him and we all
stewardess had given him and we all
stewardess had given him and we all started to cry and when I went to
started to cry and when I went to
started to cry and when I went to medical school which I wasn’t going to
medical school which I wasn’t going to
medical school which I wasn’t going to do I never wanted to be a doctor I
do I never wanted to be a doctor I
do I never wanted to be a doctor I thought my aunt locals life looked not
thought my aunt locals life looked not
thought my aunt locals life looked not fun they had to leave every Thanksgiving
fun they had to leave every Thanksgiving
fun they had to leave every Thanksgiving and every Christmas but I remember
and every Christmas but I remember
and every Christmas but I remember thinking when I go to medical school I
thinking when I go to medical school I
thinking when I go to medical school I want to find out why doctors don’t talk
want to find out why doctors don’t talk
want to find out why doctors don’t talk to patients I want to find out why the
to patients I want to find out why the
to patients I want to find out why the fullness of the mystery is not addressed
fullness of the mystery is not addressed
fullness of the mystery is not addressed and I never intended to practice
and I never intended to practice
and I never intended to practice medicine but I always believed from my
medicine but I always believed from my
medicine but I always believed from my childhood experiences that there was
childhood experiences that there was
childhood experiences that there was more going on than what we were taught
more going on than what we were taught
more going on than what we were taught now and like most medical students I
now and like most medical students I
now and like most medical students I became puffed up I became very proud of
became puffed up I became very proud of
became puffed up I became very proud of what we could do with drugs and surgery
what we could do with drugs and surgery
what we could do with drugs and surgery and but when I saw the first time I saw
and but when I saw the first time I saw
and but when I saw the first time I saw baby horn I started to cry
baby horn I started to cry
baby horn I started to cry I just wept with a combination really of
I just wept with a combination really of
I just wept with a combination really of joy and also sorrow and the nurse was
joy and also sorrow and the nurse was
joy and also sorrow and the nurse was yelling at the medical student and she
yelling at the medical student and she
yelling at the medical student and she because he had let go of the cord and
because he had let go of the cord and
because he had let go of the cord and there like a mini fire hose and it was
there like a mini fire hose and it was
there like a mini fire hose and it was going all over the wall and I’m thinking
going all over the wall and I’m thinking
going all over the wall and I’m thinking this is holy this is a holy place this
this is holy this is a holy place this
this is holy this is a holy place this is not a place where you yell at anybody
is not a place where you yell at anybody
is not a place where you yell at anybody and it occurred to me nobody should be
and it occurred to me nobody should be
and it occurred to me nobody should be in that room during a birth who didn’t
in that room during a birth who didn’t
in that room during a birth who didn’t know this was holy and it was that
know this was holy and it was that
know this was holy and it was that experience that caused me to become an
experience that caused me to become an
experience that caused me to become an obstetrician-gynecologist and being
obstetrician-gynecologist and being
obstetrician-gynecologist and being around women giving birth was like being
around women giving birth was like being
around women giving birth was like being like breathing it was that easy but I
like breathing it was that easy but I
like breathing it was that easy but I also saw that fear and anger and all of
also saw that fear and anger and all of
also saw that fear and anger and all of this completely messed up the process of
this completely messed up the process of
this completely messed up the process of birth
birth
birth but I didn’t know how to get those ideas
but I didn’t know how to get those ideas
but I didn’t know how to get those ideas across to the patient especially if her
across to the patient especially if her
across to the patient especially if her mother had already told her now you’ll
mother had already told her now you’ll
mother had already told her now you’ll see how I suffered with you and I did
see how I suffered with you and I did
see how I suffered with you and I did all kinds of work trying to prove to
all kinds of work trying to prove to
all kinds of work trying to prove to myself that the mind-body connection was
myself that the mind-body connection was
myself that the mind-body connection was real and how did we how did we get into
real and how did we how did we get into
real and how did we how did we get into the mind so that the body would change I
the mind so that the body would change I
the mind so that the body would change I myself had terrible migraine headaches
myself had terrible migraine headaches
myself had terrible migraine headaches from the age of 12 to the age of 21 once
from the age of 12 to the age of 21 once
from the age of 12 to the age of 21 once a month twice a month whatever I’d been
a month twice a month whatever I’d been
a month twice a month whatever I’d been worked up in a Boston hospital a week
worked up in a Boston hospital a week
worked up in a Boston hospital a week there with all kinds of testing they
there with all kinds of testing they
there with all kinds of testing they never knew what it was at the age of 19
never knew what it was at the age of 19
never knew what it was at the age of 19 I had to do this English paper a
I had to do this English paper a
I had to do this English paper a critique of the poem ode on a Grecian
critique of the poem ode on a Grecian
critique of the poem ode on a Grecian urn or ode to a Grecian urn by Keats and
urn or ode to a Grecian urn by Keats and
urn or ode to a Grecian urn by Keats and I didn’t know what the professor wanted
I didn’t know what the professor wanted
I didn’t know what the professor wanted and like most my grayness personalities
and like most my grayness personalities
and like most my grayness personalities I needed to know what it was they wanted
I needed to know what it was they wanted
I needed to know what it was they wanted of me and I couldn’t figure it out and
of me and I couldn’t figure it out and
of me and I couldn’t figure it out and it was in Cleveland Ohio and it was in
it was in Cleveland Ohio and it was in
it was in Cleveland Ohio and it was in November and when I came out of the
November and when I came out of the
November and when I came out of the library not knowing how to get an A in
library not knowing how to get an A in
library not knowing how to get an A in the course I temporarily thought maybe I
the course I temporarily thought maybe I
the course I temporarily thought maybe I should just throw myself in front of a
should just throw myself in front of a
should just throw myself in front of a car it would be easier than this and
car it would be easier than this and
car it would be easier than this and then I thought no you know you’ll break
then I thought no you know you’ll break
then I thought no you know you’ll break your leg and then you’re gonna have to
your leg and then you’re gonna have to
your leg and then you’re gonna have to do the poem and then you’re gonna have
do the poem and then you’re gonna have
do the poem and then you’re gonna have to lug around to cast at the same time
to lug around to cast at the same time
to lug around to cast at the same time like it you know the idea that I had a
like it you know the idea that I had a
like it you know the idea that I had a choice never occurred to me because I
choice never occurred to me because I
choice never occurred to me because I was operating on a belief system that
was operating on a belief system that
was operating on a belief system that was obsolete I go back to my dorm I call
was obsolete I go back to my dorm I call
was obsolete I go back to my dorm I call my parents and I say I hate it here this
my parents and I say I hate it here this
my parents and I say I hate it here this isn’t working for me and my father says
isn’t working for me and my father says
isn’t working for me and my father says quit so quick you can come home
quit so quick you can come home
quit so quick you can come home and I changed my mind and in that moment
and I changed my mind and in that moment
and I changed my mind and in that moment I changed the migraine headaches and
I changed the migraine headaches and
I changed the migraine headaches and maybe had three or four the rest of my
maybe had three or four the rest of my
maybe had three or four the rest of my whole life
whole life
whole life because I changed this pattern this
because I changed this pattern this
because I changed this pattern this sixth emotional center perception
sixth emotional center perception
sixth emotional center perception thought morality which is what headaches
thought morality which is what headaches
thought morality which is what headaches are and my perception was you must do
are and my perception was you must do
are and my perception was you must do this and I’ve been a really been driven
this and I’ve been a really been driven
this and I’ve been a really been driven my whole life
my whole life
my whole life to get it right and get it right though
to get it right and get it right though
to get it right and get it right though in the way that the culture and in my
in the way that the culture and in my
in the way that the culture and in my case the practice of medicine says is
case the practice of medicine says is
case the practice of medicine says is right but here’s the problem
right but here’s the problem
right but here’s the problem most of what I was taught in medicine
most of what I was taught in medicine
most of what I was taught in medicine about what causes disease is not the
about what causes disease is not the
about what causes disease is not the truth I cured my migraine headaches
truth I cured my migraine headaches
truth I cured my migraine headaches not with imitrex not with advil i cured
not with imitrex not with advil i cured
not with imitrex not with advil i cured him with a change of perception you see
him with a change of perception you see
him with a change of perception you see and the only time that I got him from
and the only time that I got him from
and the only time that I got him from then on is when I was doing something my
then on is when I was doing something my
then on is when I was doing something my greenness like trying to clean up my
greenness like trying to clean up my
greenness like trying to clean up my entire house in half of the day because
entire house in half of the day because
entire house in half of the day because I had the time now if I could just
I had the time now if I could just
I had the time now if I could just organize the clutter from 25 years and I
organize the clutter from 25 years and I
organize the clutter from 25 years and I can get in this state of being driven
can get in this state of being driven
can get in this state of being driven where I’m completely disconnected from
where I’m completely disconnected from
where I’m completely disconnected from my mind and my body and I’m just going
my mind and my body and I’m just going
my mind and my body and I’m just going for it it’s a beautiful way to get
for it it’s a beautiful way to get
for it it’s a beautiful way to get through a surgical subspecialty keep
through a surgical subspecialty keep
through a surgical subspecialty keep your head down keep your nose to the
your head down keep your nose to the
your head down keep your nose to the grindstone but you know what happens
grindstone but you know what happens
grindstone but you know what happens when you do that you get cortisol levels
when you do that you get cortisol levels
when you do that you get cortisol levels that are too high adrenaline levels that
that are too high adrenaline levels that
that are too high adrenaline levels that are too high these are the stress
are too high these are the stress
are too high these are the stress hormones they constrict blood vessels in
hormones they constrict blood vessels in
hormones they constrict blood vessels in every place in the body and headaches
every place in the body and headaches
every place in the body and headaches are just the beginning so the belief
are just the beginning so the belief
are just the beginning so the belief system behind the migraines which I had
system behind the migraines which I had
system behind the migraines which I had for as long as I could remember was you
for as long as I could remember was you
for as long as I could remember was you must get straight A’s in school it was
must get straight A’s in school it was
must get straight A’s in school it was this internal pressure you must perform
this internal pressure you must perform
this internal pressure you must perform to a certain level and I was the
to a certain level and I was the
to a certain level and I was the valedictorian and in my class in
valedictorian and in my class in
valedictorian and in my class in Ellicott Hills Central High everyone who
Ellicott Hills Central High everyone who
Ellicott Hills Central High everyone who had ever gone to college that I knew
had ever gone to college that I knew
had ever gone to college that I knew about had gotten pregnant and dropped
about had gotten pregnant and dropped
about had gotten pregnant and dropped out
out
out so I had this idea that when I went to
so I had this idea that when I went to
so I had this idea that when I went to college I was going to be washed out
college I was going to be washed out
college I was going to be washed out quickly so I studied like you know this
quickly so I studied like you know this
quickly so I studied like you know this was in the 60s and 70s this was
was in the 60s and 70s this was
was in the 60s and 70s this was everybody’s on birth control having sex
everybody’s on birth control having sex
everybody’s on birth control having sex with everything not nailed down and
with everything not nailed down and
with everything not nailed down and they’re all smoking dope and I am I am
they’re all smoking dope and I am I am
they’re all smoking dope and I am I am here to study what is wrong with the
here to study what is wrong with the
here to study what is wrong with the rest of you people I didn’t understand
rest of you people I didn’t understand
rest of you people I didn’t understand what the Kent State thing was all about
what the Kent State thing was all about
what the Kent State thing was all about like what are you doing okay it’s spring
like what are you doing okay it’s spring
like what are you doing okay it’s spring in Cleveland
in Cleveland
in Cleveland you’re throwing rocks at the horses a
you’re throwing rocks at the horses a
you’re throwing rocks at the horses a nuclear a venire policeman but I have a
nuclear a venire policeman but I have a
nuclear a venire policeman but I have a biology exam here so there was this
biology exam here so there was this
biology exam here so there was this tremendous drive to achieve in a certain
tremendous drive to achieve in a certain
tremendous drive to achieve in a certain way which was academically in a certain
way which was academically in a certain
way which was academically in a certain way when I temporarily decided it would
way when I temporarily decided it would
way when I temporarily decided it would be easier to throw myself in front of a
be easier to throw myself in front of a
be easier to throw myself in front of a car and then quickly realize you know
car and then quickly realize you know
car and then quickly realize you know it’s like mental health came on board
it’s like mental health came on board
it’s like mental health came on board quickly because I grew up as a pretty
quickly because I grew up as a pretty
quickly because I grew up as a pretty optimistic person when my father said so
optimistic person when my father said so
optimistic person when my father said so quit it was that I had I had the
quit it was that I had I had the
quit it was that I had I had the patriarchal authority figure in my
patriarchal authority figure in my
patriarchal authority figure in my family saying you have another choice
family saying you have another choice
family saying you have another choice you could quit come home live here and
you could quit come home live here and
you could quit come home live here and in that moment I could stay because I
in that moment I could stay because I
in that moment I could stay because I knew I could leave because I instantly
knew I could leave because I instantly
knew I could leave because I instantly in that moment thought okay what would I
in that moment thought okay what would I
in that moment thought okay what would I do in my hometown what would I marry my
do in my hometown what would I marry my
do in my hometown what would I marry my high school boyfriend I mean what would
high school boyfriend I mean what would
high school boyfriend I mean what would I do
I do
I do probably it would be better if I stayed
probably it would be better if I stayed
probably it would be better if I stayed here and finish this degree but maybe I
here and finish this degree but maybe I
here and finish this degree but maybe I could finish it in a way that was a
could finish it in a way that was a
could finish it in a way that was a little lighter and more free and what is
little lighter and more free and what is
little lighter and more free and what is the worst thing that could happen you
the worst thing that could happen you
the worst thing that could happen you might get a B instead of an A and what
might get a B instead of an A and what
might get a B instead of an A and what is the worst thing that could happen
is the worst thing that could happen
is the worst thing that could happen there probably nothing
there probably nothing
there probably nothing and so I actually began to enjoy aspects
and so I actually began to enjoy aspects
and so I actually began to enjoy aspects of my life and live more in the moment
of my life and live more in the moment
of my life and live more in the moment and then had the experience actually of
and then had the experience actually of
and then had the experience actually of getting a seat in organic chemistry and
getting a seat in organic chemistry and
getting a seat in organic chemistry and being thrilled to pass
being thrilled to pass
being thrilled to pass I had a big fibroid tumor in my late 40s
I had a big fibroid tumor in my late 40s
I had a big fibroid tumor in my late 40s and it was diagnosed on pelvic exam
and it was diagnosed on pelvic exam
and it was diagnosed on pelvic exam right after I finished my first book
right after I finished my first book
right after I finished my first book women’s bodies women’s wisdom so the
women’s bodies women’s wisdom so the
women’s bodies women’s wisdom so the first place I went and my head was oh I
first place I went and my head was oh I
first place I went and my head was oh I caught one
caught one
caught one I’ve been around fiber it so long that I
I’ve been around fiber it so long that I
I’ve been around fiber it so long that I caught one you know when you’re under
caught one you know when you’re under
caught one you know when you’re under stress you go right back to your
stress you go right back to your
stress you go right back to your original programming which is the germ
original programming which is the germ
original programming which is the germ theory of disease right so I must have
theory of disease right so I must have
theory of disease right so I must have caught one like these things are
caught one like these things are
caught one like these things are contagious and but you know the law of
contagious and but you know the law of
contagious and but you know the law of attraction is contagious and I thought
attraction is contagious and I thought
attraction is contagious and I thought it was something about the book because
it was something about the book because
it was something about the book because I knew fibroids were creativity that
I knew fibroids were creativity that
I knew fibroids were creativity that hasn’t been earthed yet and then it got
hasn’t been earthed yet and then it got
hasn’t been earthed yet and then it got bigger and it got bigger and it got
bigger and it got bigger and it got
bigger and it got bigger and it got bigger until finally one Thanksgiving I
bigger until finally one Thanksgiving I
bigger until finally one Thanksgiving I had that experience of and I tried in
had that experience of and I tried in
had that experience of and I tried in acupuncture twice a week I was
acupuncture twice a week I was
acupuncture twice a week I was macrobiotic I did everything known to
macrobiotic I did everything known to
macrobiotic I did everything known to humanity and my patients had often been
humanity and my patients had often been
humanity and my patients had often been able to deem materialized fibroids and
able to deem materialized fibroids and
able to deem materialized fibroids and iOS knew it was possible I couldn’t and
iOS knew it was possible I couldn’t and
iOS knew it was possible I couldn’t and I finally one Thanksgiving said I’m so
I finally one Thanksgiving said I’m so
I finally one Thanksgiving said I’m so sick of dressing around this thing I
sick of dressing around this thing I
sick of dressing around this thing I look pregnant I’m just getting it out of
look pregnant I’m just getting it out of
look pregnant I’m just getting it out of here I mean that’s what surgeries for
here I mean that’s what surgeries for
here I mean that’s what surgeries for let’s go do it
let’s go do it
let’s go do it and I knew enough when I went under
and I knew enough when I went under
and I knew enough when I went under anesthesia to have the anesthesiologist
anesthesia to have the anesthesiologist
anesthesia to have the anesthesiologist repeat some statements so that I would
repeat some statements so that I would
repeat some statements so that I would reprogram and go into these sort of deep
reprogram and go into these sort of deep
reprogram and go into these sort of deep hypnosis and the one statement was and
hypnosis and the one statement was and
hypnosis and the one statement was and you awaken the pattern that created this
you awaken the pattern that created this
you awaken the pattern that created this will have left your life and I was a
will have left your life and I was a
will have left your life and I was a single woman to you asleep fibroids are
single woman to you asleep fibroids are
single woman to you asleep fibroids are creativity that hasn’t been birthed yet
creativity that hasn’t been birthed yet
creativity that hasn’t been birthed yet and they are also caused by shoving your
and they are also caused by shoving your
and they are also caused by shoving your creative energy your second chakra sex
creative energy your second chakra sex
creative energy your second chakra sex power money derive into some kind of
power money derive into some kind of
power money derive into some kind of avenue great because you know ovaries
avenue great because you know ovaries
avenue great because you know ovaries are female balls and we have to we have
are female balls and we have to we have
are female balls and we have to we have drives toward what we want in my case I
drives toward what we want in my case I
drives toward what we want in my case I wanted partnership in my relationship
wanted partnership in my relationship
wanted partnership in my relationship and my relationship was not where I was
and my relationship was not where I was
and my relationship was not where I was going to find partnership but what
going to find partnership but what
going to find partnership but what happens if you don’t know better and you
happens if you don’t know better and you
happens if you don’t know better and you don’t have the insight if it’s not
don’t have the insight if it’s not
don’t have the insight if it’s not working you do it harder and so I kept
working you do it harder and so I kept
working you do it harder and so I kept trying everything I knew to do to fix
trying everything I knew to do to fix
trying everything I knew to do to fix the marriage which is completely done I
the marriage which is completely done I
the marriage which is completely done I mean you have to work on fixing you or
mean you have to work on fixing you or
mean you have to work on fixing you or transforming you and but the fibroid had
transforming you and but the fibroid had
transforming you and but the fibroid had gotten to this certain point and then I
gotten to this certain point and then I
gotten to this certain point and then I had the surgery and as I did my recovery
had the surgery and as I did my recovery
had the surgery and as I did my recovery it was I said when I do this recovery I
it was I said when I do this recovery I
it was I said when I do this recovery I want this to be the postpartum rest than
want this to be the postpartum rest than
want this to be the postpartum rest than I have never given myself and I rested
I have never given myself and I rested
I have never given myself and I rested for a whole month and I said you know
for a whole month and I said you know
for a whole month and I said you know the next thing that comes out of my womb
the next thing that comes out of my womb
the next thing that comes out of my womb I’m gonna have a postpartum rest and so
I’m gonna have a postpartum rest and so
I’m gonna have a postpartum rest and so I began to change patterns in my
I began to change patterns in my
I began to change patterns in my relationship because I started to take
relationship because I started to take
relationship because I started to take care of my deepest self starting right
care of my deepest self starting right
care of my deepest self starting right with my womb the center really of a
with my womb the center really of a
with my womb the center really of a woman’s body
woman’s body
woman’s body and that began to change the dynamic of
and that began to change the dynamic of
and that began to change the dynamic of the relationship and it really had
the relationship and it really had
the relationship and it really had nowhere to go though you don’t know that
nowhere to go though you don’t know that
nowhere to go though you don’t know that until a retrospective until
until a retrospective until
until a retrospective until retrospectively I mean it’s like I
retrospectively I mean it’s like I
retrospectively I mean it’s like I really even in the divorce proceedings
really even in the divorce proceedings
really even in the divorce proceedings was certain that I could do something to
was certain that I could do something to
was certain that I could do something to make it work so we have these mental
make it work so we have these mental
make it work so we have these mental patterns and my pattern is certainly is
patterns and my pattern is certainly is
patterns and my pattern is certainly is like show up and get her done
like show up and get her done
like show up and get her done okay and it works it works good you know
okay and it works it works good you know
okay and it works it works good you know and but it doesn’t work in a
and but it doesn’t work in a
and but it doesn’t work in a relationship or in some place where you
relationship or in some place where you
relationship or in some place where you have to let the universe bring in what’s
have to let the universe bring in what’s
have to let the universe bring in what’s missing that’s more yen I was very good
missing that’s more yen I was very good
missing that’s more yen I was very good at young and you know I’m a really good
at young and you know I’m a really good
at young and you know I’m a really good surgical type brain but this was to
surgical type brain but this was to
surgical type brain but this was to balance and allow something to come to
balance and allow something to come to
balance and allow something to come to you people do affirmations and they do
you people do affirmations and they do
you people do affirmations and they do their journals and they wear purple and
their journals and they wear purple and
their journals and they wear purple and all that but boy when it comes to the
all that but boy when it comes to the
all that but boy when it comes to the vagina the vulva the breasts the uterus
vagina the vulva the breasts the uterus
vagina the vulva the breasts the uterus that all goes out the window because
that all goes out the window because
that all goes out the window because these organs know we’re taught these are
these organs know we’re taught these are
these organs know we’re taught these are woman’s these organs were created
woman’s these organs were created
woman’s these organs were created because Eve ate the apple and screwed up
because Eve ate the apple and screwed up
because Eve ate the apple and screwed up and these are going to get me and so the
and these are going to get me and so the
and these are going to get me and so the whole conversation around women’s health
whole conversation around women’s health
whole conversation around women’s health is what can go wrong let’s screen for
is what can go wrong let’s screen for
is what can go wrong let’s screen for what can go wrong and if we don’t find
what can go wrong and if we don’t find
what can go wrong and if we don’t find it this year come back next year we and
it this year come back next year we and
it this year come back next year we and so in my own body and their life in my
so in my own body and their life in my
so in my own body and their life in my own profession it’s been how do we turn
own profession it’s been how do we turn
own profession it’s been how do we turn the conversation around and it begins
the conversation around and it begins
the conversation around and it begins with changing the way you think about
with changing the way you think about
with changing the way you think about this female body the biggest miracle of
this female body the biggest miracle of
this female body the biggest miracle of my life over the past seven years is
my life over the past seven years is
my life over the past seven years is that I have discovered that it is
that I have discovered that it is
that I have discovered that it is possible after menopause to be sexy to
possible after menopause to be sexy to
possible after menopause to be sexy to be attractive to be a woman to realize
be attractive to be a woman to realize
be attractive to be a woman to realize the game isn’t over in fact the game is
the game isn’t over in fact the game is
the game isn’t over in fact the game is just beginning what a miracle
it’s been my experience that men are
it’s been my experience that men are desperate to support and appreciate
desperate to support and appreciate
desperate to support and appreciate women and they can’t do it until a woman
women and they can’t do it until a woman
women and they can’t do it until a woman knows how to support and appreciate
knows how to support and appreciate
knows how to support and appreciate herself and then she can teach a man how
herself and then she can teach a man how
herself and then she can teach a man how to support her we have right now in
to support her we have right now in
to support her we have right now in history this very strange situation in
history this very strange situation in
history this very strange situation in which when a woman doesn’t know how to
which when a woman doesn’t know how to
which when a woman doesn’t know how to support herself when she doesn’t even
support herself when she doesn’t even
support herself when she doesn’t even know what turns her on she turns to the
know what turns her on she turns to the
know what turns her on she turns to the man and says do it for me and if he
man and says do it for me and if he
man and says do it for me and if he can’t figure out what to give her for
can’t figure out what to give her for
can’t figure out what to give her for Valentine’s Day or her birthday or their
Valentine’s Day or her birthday or their
Valentine’s Day or her birthday or their anniversary if she doesn’t give him any
anniversary if she doesn’t give him any
anniversary if she doesn’t give him any clues he’s a loser he loses and if I
clues he’s a loser he loses and if I
clues he’s a loser he loses and if I were a guy I would be terrified to be in
were a guy I would be terrified to be in
were a guy I would be terrified to be in relationship with a woman who doesn’t
relationship with a woman who doesn’t
relationship with a woman who doesn’t know what she desires or what turns her
know what she desires or what turns her
know what she desires or what turns her on because you’re left with a load that
on because you’re left with a load that
on because you’re left with a load that is too heavy so the first thing I would
is too heavy so the first thing I would
is too heavy so the first thing I would say for a guy is don’t get in a
say for a guy is don’t get in a
say for a guy is don’t get in a relationship with that kind of woman
relationship with that kind of woman
relationship with that kind of woman okay labor
okay labor
okay labor it’s fabulously obvious your job is to
it’s fabulously obvious your job is to
it’s fabulously obvious your job is to love your woman that’s all your job is
love your woman that’s all your job is
love your woman that’s all your job is to love her
to love her
to love her remember the energy that gets the baby
remember the energy that gets the baby
remember the energy that gets the baby in is the energy that gets the baby out
in is the energy that gets the baby out
in is the energy that gets the baby out and that’s Anna Mae Gaston who wrote
and that’s Anna Mae Gaston who wrote
and that’s Anna Mae Gaston who wrote spiritual midwifery
spiritual midwifery
spiritual midwifery and so encourage the women in your life
and so encourage the women in your life
and so encourage the women in your life to care for themselves at the deepest
to care for themselves at the deepest
to care for themselves at the deepest level and if they turn on you
level and if they turn on you
level and if they turn on you premenstrual e because they’re in what
premenstrual e because they’re in what
premenstrual e because they’re in what Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body you
Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body you
Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body you know we all have to do our part to clean
know we all have to do our part to clean
know we all have to do our part to clean up our part of the pain body and the
up our part of the pain body and the
up our part of the pain body and the pain body of all women comes up
pain body of all women comes up
pain body of all women comes up premenstrual E what you say is honey
premenstrual E what you say is honey
premenstrual E what you say is honey take a bath do whatever you need I’ll
take a bath do whatever you need I’ll
take a bath do whatever you need I’ll see you what I want all women to know is
see you what I want all women to know is
see you what I want all women to know is that within their biology they have the
that within their biology they have the
that within their biology they have the code for enhancing all of your life the
code for enhancing all of your life the
code for enhancing all of your life the egg can take a spoon and heal the
egg can take a spoon and heal the
egg can take a spoon and heal the genetics of a defective spoon the egg
genetics of a defective spoon the egg
genetics of a defective spoon the egg contains the nourishment that the new
contains the nourishment that the new
contains the nourishment that the new fetus needs to get to the stage before
fetus needs to get to the stage before
fetus needs to get to the stage before it gets to the placenta and implants
it gets to the placenta and implants
it gets to the placenta and implants every time a woman is in her powers she
every time a woman is in her powers she
every time a woman is in her powers she upgrades everyone and everything around
upgrades everyone and everything around
upgrades everyone and everything around her this is not a zero-sum model when a
her this is not a zero-sum model when a
her this is not a zero-sum model when a woman is doing better and she’s
woman is doing better and she’s
woman is doing better and she’s healthier and happier she raises me
healthier and happier she raises me
healthier and happier she raises me whenever a woman gets healthy and
whenever a woman gets healthy and
whenever a woman gets healthy and happier she heals the earth
happier she heals the earth
happier she heals the earth the woman’s body is a reflection of the
the woman’s body is a reflection of the
the woman’s body is a reflection of the earth and everything we do to take care
earth and everything we do to take care
earth and everything we do to take care of ourselves to feel pleasure to be
of ourselves to feel pleasure to be
of ourselves to feel pleasure to be orgasmically joyous heals the entire
orgasmically joyous heals the entire
orgasmically joyous heals the entire planet everyone in South Boston would
planet everyone in South Boston would
planet everyone in South Boston would call in the middle of the night for sex
call in the middle of the night for sex
call in the middle of the night for sex advice because you know this was st.
advice because you know this was st.
advice because you know this was st. Margaret Hospital Catholic and you know
Margaret Hospital Catholic and you know
Margaret Hospital Catholic and you know they didn’t know anything it’s a it’s
they didn’t know anything it’s a it’s
they didn’t know anything it’s a it’s one we calls in the middle of the night
one we calls in the middle of the night
one we calls in the middle of the night one she says to the nurse is it true
one she says to the nurse is it true
one she says to the nurse is it true when you use that foam it burns your
when you use that foam it burns your
when you use that foam it burns your husband’s penis it’s 3:00 in the morning
husband’s penis it’s 3:00 in the morning
husband’s penis it’s 3:00 in the morning the nurse goes I hope so
there’s this interesting thing that
there’s this interesting thing that happens when somebody gets it really
happens when somebody gets it really
happens when somebody gets it really downloads a more positive way of
downloads a more positive way of
downloads a more positive way of thinking they get hormonal balancing for
thinking they get hormonal balancing for
thinking they get hormonal balancing for one thing we know that when somebody is
one thing we know that when somebody is
one thing we know that when somebody is thinking with their heart like they see
thinking with their heart like they see
thinking with their heart like they see a puppy or a sleeping baby and they go
a puppy or a sleeping baby and they go
a puppy or a sleeping baby and they go on your DHEA levels rise which begins to
on your DHEA levels rise which begins to
on your DHEA levels rise which begins to balance your hormones but something else
balance your hormones but something else
balance your hormones but something else really more important happens and that
really more important happens and that
really more important happens and that is the beat to beat variability of the
is the beat to beat variability of the
is the beat to beat variability of the heart normalizes and you get into this
heart normalizes and you get into this
heart normalizes and you get into this wave pattern that you can see on a
wave pattern that you can see on a
wave pattern that you can see on a heartrate monitor that actually begins
heartrate monitor that actually begins
heartrate monitor that actually begins to balance the entire body
to balance the entire body
to balance the entire body given that the heart is a huge
given that the heart is a huge
given that the heart is a huge electromagnet that in fact trains the
electromagnet that in fact trains the
electromagnet that in fact trains the rest of the body so this thought or the
rest of the body so this thought or the
rest of the body so this thought or the state of deep relaxation or whatever it
state of deep relaxation or whatever it
state of deep relaxation or whatever it is that enlightens you actually results
is that enlightens you actually results
is that enlightens you actually results in a decrease in stress hormones a
in a decrease in stress hormones a
in a decrease in stress hormones a normalization of blood sugar decreasing
normalization of blood sugar decreasing
normalization of blood sugar decreasing of blood pressure and a relaxation of
of blood pressure and a relaxation of
of blood pressure and a relaxation of all smooth muscles it is in fact a
all smooth muscles it is in fact a
all smooth muscles it is in fact a balance of the parasympathetic and
balance of the parasympathetic and
balance of the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system
sympathetic nervous system
sympathetic nervous system parasympathetic is the brake and
parasympathetic is the brake and
parasympathetic is the brake and sympathetic is the gas and most people
sympathetic is the gas and most people
sympathetic is the gas and most people in this culture have the gas on all the
in this culture have the gas on all the
in this culture have the gas on all the time with an occasional right so you’re
time with an occasional right so you’re
time with an occasional right so you’re going around like this you need to have
going around like this you need to have
going around like this you need to have when both are in balance which happens
when both are in balance which happens
when both are in balance which happens when you breathe through your nose while
when you breathe through your nose while
when you breathe through your nose while exercising you actually it’s like
exercising you actually it’s like
exercising you actually it’s like banking your wood stove with just the
banking your wood stove with just the
banking your wood stove with just the right amount of wood and air you can
right amount of wood and air you can
right amount of wood and air you can work so much more efficiently and so
work so much more efficiently and so
work so much more efficiently and so much longer because you’ve got this
much longer because you’ve got this
much longer because you’ve got this beautiful young young balance of the
beautiful young young balance of the
beautiful young young balance of the parasympathetic and the sympathetic so
parasympathetic and the sympathetic so
parasympathetic and the sympathetic so any thought of oh man I gotta get
any thought of oh man I gotta get
any thought of oh man I gotta get straight A’s here or something’s gonna
straight A’s here or something’s gonna
straight A’s here or something’s gonna happen I don’t know what I mean in my
happen I don’t know what I mean in my
happen I don’t know what I mean in my own case I don’t know what’s gonna
own case I don’t know what’s gonna
own case I don’t know what’s gonna happen you will fail this would be
happen you will fail this would be
happen you will fail this would be terrible but then when you go ah so I
terrible but then when you go ah so I
terrible but then when you go ah so I could quit so I could I remember my
could quit so I could I remember my
could quit so I could I remember my sister at the time went to four
sister at the time went to four
sister at the time went to four different colleges I remember thinking
different colleges I remember thinking
different colleges I remember thinking what is wrong with you I mean you know
what is wrong with you I mean you know
what is wrong with you I mean you know this will be on your record and now I
this will be on your record and now I
this will be on your record and now I realize years later no one has looked at
realize years later no one has looked at
realize years later no one has looked at my record at four years nobody cares
my record at four years nobody cares
my record at four years nobody cares nobody No and those are the thoughts
nobody No and those are the thoughts
nobody No and those are the thoughts that your balance that all when you get
that your balance that all when you get
that your balance that all when you get it that you have so much more control
it that you have so much more control
it that you have so much more control over your life than you thought you did
over your life than you thought you did
over your life than you thought you did or control over your experience of your
or control over your experience of your
or control over your experience of your life if not the events of your life
life if not the events of your life
life if not the events of your life there is this sense that is so playful
there is this sense that is so playful
there is this sense that is so playful and so joyous and you can just start to
and so joyous and you can just start to
and so joyous and you can just start to Gail when you realize you’ve made it all
Gail when you realize you’ve made it all
Gail when you realize you’ve made it all up you’re creating it all and there’s a
up you’re creating it all and there’s a
up you’re creating it all and there’s a sense of joyous relief you feel like a
sense of joyous relief you feel like a
sense of joyous relief you feel like a kid but you’ve got all the ego strength
kid but you’ve got all the ego strength
kid but you’ve got all the ego strength of an adult and it’s ah but you just
of an adult and it’s ah but you just
of an adult and it’s ah but you just before you get there there’s usually
before you get there there’s usually
before you get there there’s usually this time of painful joy or joy filled
this time of painful joy or joy filled
this time of painful joy or joy filled pain where you might have to break down
pain where you might have to break down
pain where you might have to break down with some deep sobs I had that happen in
with some deep sobs I had that happen in
with some deep sobs I had that happen in a workshop with Ann Wilson shape and we
a workshop with Ann Wilson shape and we
a workshop with Ann Wilson shape and we were doing an intervention on one of my
were doing an intervention on one of my
were doing an intervention on one of my partners who we suspected was an
partners who we suspected was an
partners who we suspected was an alcoholic and we all went to get over to
alcoholic and we all went to get over to
alcoholic and we all went to get over to cure our codependence we knew it was
cure our codependence we knew it was
cure our codependence we knew it was killing us we start a women’s clinic
killing us we start a women’s clinic
killing us we start a women’s clinic right we were blaming the guys they
right we were blaming the guys they
right we were blaming the guys they weren’t doing it right we’re gonna do it
weren’t doing it right we’re gonna do it
weren’t doing it right we’re gonna do it what run by women for women here we are
what run by women for women here we are
what run by women for women here we are two years out we’re more exhausted than
two years out we’re more exhausted than
two years out we’re more exhausted than we ever were when the guys were run
we ever were when the guys were run
we ever were when the guys were run and we weren’t making any money so we
and we weren’t making any money so we
and we weren’t making any money so we thought okay we’re all codependent so we
thought okay we’re all codependent so we
thought okay we’re all codependent so we better get ourselves to treatment so we
better get ourselves to treatment so we
better get ourselves to treatment so we go away to attend a treatment and by
go away to attend a treatment and by
go away to attend a treatment and by then we suspect someone’s been drinking
then we suspect someone’s been drinking
then we suspect someone’s been drinking too much and I’m wanting to do the
too much and I’m wanting to do the
too much and I’m wanting to do the intervention come on let’s get to the
intervention come on let’s get to the
intervention come on let’s get to the intervention phase and it’s day eight of
intervention phase and it’s day eight of
intervention phase and it’s day eight of this workshop and people are down on the
this workshop and people are down on the
this workshop and people are down on the mats and they’re crying and they’re
mats and they’re crying and they’re
mats and they’re crying and they’re weeping and I’m thinking you poor slobs
weeping and I’m thinking you poor slobs
weeping and I’m thinking you poor slobs you’ve got so much pain the rest of us
you’ve got so much pain the rest of us
you’ve got so much pain the rest of us have it together you don’t of course and
have it together you don’t of course and
have it together you don’t of course and it was like being in labor and delivery
it was like being in labor and delivery
it was like being in labor and delivery then the time comes for the intervention
then the time comes for the intervention
then the time comes for the intervention and and shave and I start to you know
and and shave and I start to you know
and and shave and I start to you know the intervention you tell the person on
the intervention you tell the person on
the intervention you tell the person on what she loves him I start to tell my
what she loves him I start to tell my
what she loves him I start to tell my colleague how much it meant to me when
colleague how much it meant to me when
colleague how much it meant to me when she parked my car when I was in labor
she parked my car when I was in labor
she parked my car when I was in labor with my second daughter to have a dog to
with my second daughter to have a dog to
with my second daughter to have a dog to support you it was like almost too much
support you it was like almost too much
support you it was like almost too much and I started to cry and Ann said want
and I started to cry and Ann said want
and I started to cry and Ann said want to lie down see what comes up I lie down
to lie down see what comes up I lie down
to lie down see what comes up I lie down to see what comes up and I quickly push
to see what comes up and I quickly push
to see what comes up and I quickly push it down push it down push it down push
it down push it down push it down push
it down push it down push it down push it down which I was pretty good at then
it down which I was pretty good at then
it down which I was pretty good at then i sat up and I said
and she says to me your son and the dam
and she says to me your son and the dam and I lay down
I went through not only my own dance but
I went through not only my own dance but I went deep into a place called pain
I went deep into a place called pain
I went deep into a place called pain with all the women who never had anyone
with all the women who never had anyone
with all the women who never had anyone with them in labor all the babies have
with them in labor all the babies have
with them in labor all the babies have died all of the pain and I knew where my
died all of the pain and I knew where my
died all of the pain and I knew where my work came from and I knew when I came
work came from and I knew when I came
work came from and I knew when I came here to do which was to transform that
here to do which was to transform that
here to do which was to transform that pain into joy
my parents are what I consider to be
my parents are what I consider to be Mehta physicians they attended religious
Mehta physicians they attended religious
Mehta physicians they attended religious science and unity churches and were big
science and unity churches and were big
science and unity churches and were big advocates of using affirmations
advocates of using affirmations
advocates of using affirmations visualization and prayer to create the
visualization and prayer to create the
visualization and prayer to create the reality and one of my most memorable
reality and one of my most memorable
reality and one of my most memorable experiences was when our our family
experiences was when our our family
experiences was when our our family automobile went kerplunk I mean it just
automobile went kerplunk I mean it just
automobile went kerplunk I mean it just died it was an Opel station wagon and my
died it was an Opel station wagon and my
died it was an Opel station wagon and my dad decided he wanted to get a Ford
dad decided he wanted to get a Ford
dad decided he wanted to get a Ford Pinto now don’t ask me why you can get
Pinto now don’t ask me why you can get
Pinto now don’t ask me why you can get whatever thing you want using your
whatever thing you want using your
whatever thing you want using your thoughts but for some reason he had his
thoughts but for some reason he had his
thoughts but for some reason he had his heart set on buying a Ford Pinto so he
heart set on buying a Ford Pinto so he
heart set on buying a Ford Pinto so he went to the local toy store and got a
went to the local toy store and got a
went to the local toy store and got a little hot rios diecast model of a Ford
little hot rios diecast model of a Ford
little hot rios diecast model of a Ford Pinto and he painted it brown because he
Pinto and he painted it brown because he
Pinto and he painted it brown because he wanted a brown Pinto that’s his favorite
wanted a brown Pinto that’s his favorite
wanted a brown Pinto that’s his favorite color again don’t ask me why and he put
color again don’t ask me why and he put
color again don’t ask me why and he put the little Hot Wheels model Ford Pinto
the little Hot Wheels model Ford Pinto
the little Hot Wheels model Ford Pinto on our family television set dragged my
on our family television set dragged my
on our family television set dragged my little brother and I out of our bedrooms
little brother and I out of our bedrooms
little brother and I out of our bedrooms and the four of us sat there every day
and the four of us sat there every day
and the four of us sat there every day and we looked at that little Pinto and
and we looked at that little Pinto and
and we looked at that little Pinto and we he had us and visualizing it being
we he had us and visualizing it being
we he had us and visualizing it being real sitting outside in our driveway and
real sitting outside in our driveway and
real sitting outside in our driveway and he had us not only visualize it but
he had us not only visualize it but
he had us not only visualize it but using our entire body he had a picture
using our entire body he had a picture
using our entire body he had a picture what it would feel like to sit in the
what it would feel like to sit in the
what it would feel like to sit in the car to smell the new car smell to hear
car to smell the new car smell to hear
car to smell the new car smell to hear that roar of the four-cylinder Pinto
that roar of the four-cylinder Pinto
that roar of the four-cylinder Pinto engine and he had us just imagine every
engine and he had us just imagine every
engine and he had us just imagine every day that we owned this car we had no
day that we owned this car we had no
day that we owned this car we had no idea how we were going to pay for it but
idea how we were going to pay for it but
idea how we were going to pay for it but somehow because of this process we owned
somehow because of this process we owned
somehow because of this process we owned that car
that car
that car within about two months I mean it wasn’t
within about two months I mean it wasn’t
within about two months I mean it wasn’t like it a skyhook dropped it on her
like it a skyhook dropped it on her
like it a skyhook dropped it on her driveway so I grew up with these lessons
driveway so I grew up with these lessons
driveway so I grew up with these lessons that oh if you want something just
that oh if you want something just
that oh if you want something just visualize it there it is and and as I
visualize it there it is and and as I
visualize it there it is and and as I said visualization was a misnomer for us
said visualization was a misnomer for us
said visualization was a misnomer for us because we’d use our entire body we
because we’d use our entire body we
because we’d use our entire body we would feel how we would imagine it to
would feel how we would imagine it to
would feel how we would imagine it to feel we would smell it we would taste it
feel we would smell it we would taste it
feel we would smell it we would taste it use our whole senses and we would do
use our whole senses and we would do
use our whole senses and we would do this as a family together and miracles
this as a family together and miracles
this as a family together and miracles happen when my parents tell me the story
happen when my parents tell me the story
happen when my parents tell me the story that they were married seven years and
that they were married seven years and
that they were married seven years and couldn’t conceive a child so they went
couldn’t conceive a child so they went
couldn’t conceive a child so they went to the local religious science church
to the local religious science church
to the local religious science church and put in a prayer request to conceive
and put in a prayer request to conceive
and put in a prayer request to conceive and I was conceived within a month later
and I was conceived within a month later
and I was conceived within a month later so I was born in this sense that prayers
so I was born in this sense that prayers
so I was born in this sense that prayers and thoughts and visualization was great
and thoughts and visualization was great
and thoughts and visualization was great created me and your reality and I don’t
created me and your reality and I don’t
created me and your reality and I don’t know any different what I do remember is
know any different what I do remember is
know any different what I do remember is the 1960s being made terribly fun of for
the 1960s being made terribly fun of for
the 1960s being made terribly fun of for talking this way
talking this way
talking this way I remember saying the word manifestation
I remember saying the word manifestation
I remember saying the word manifestation at school one day and the kids all
at school one day and the kids all
at school one day and the kids all rolling their eyes away there she goes
rolling their eyes away there she goes
rolling their eyes away there she goes again
again
again and so I kept it inside it was something
and so I kept it inside it was something
and so I kept it inside it was something I did only with my closest friends and
I did only with my closest friends and
I did only with my closest friends and family and I remember that if I wanted
family and I remember that if I wanted
family and I remember that if I wanted something like when I was a teenager I
something like when I was a teenager I
something like when I was a teenager I wanted to quit smoking I’d taken up
wanted to quit smoking I’d taken up
wanted to quit smoking I’d taken up smoking to be cool and fit in and then I
smoking to be cool and fit in and then I
smoking to be cool and fit in and then I got hooked and I remember my mom and I
got hooked and I remember my mom and I
got hooked and I remember my mom and I pray over the completely lost desire to
pray over the completely lost desire to
pray over the completely lost desire to smoke and having experiences like that
smoke and having experiences like that
smoke and having experiences like that we have always used affirmative prayer
we have always used affirmative prayer
we have always used affirmative prayer so there’s two types of prayers one is
so there’s two types of prayers one is
so there’s two types of prayers one is supplication where you beg for something
supplication where you beg for something
supplication where you beg for something and one is affirmative
and one is affirmative
and one is affirmative which means you thank God or in the
which means you thank God or in the
which means you thank God or in the present tense for what you’re asking for
present tense for what you’re asking for
present tense for what you’re asking for that seems to be in the future so thank
that seems to be in the future so thank
that seems to be in the future so thank you God that I have a wonderful soulmate
you God that I have a wonderful soulmate
you God that I have a wonderful soulmate relationship thank you God that I have
relationship thank you God that I have
relationship thank you God that I have this perfect health my husband and I
this perfect health my husband and I
this perfect health my husband and I recently used this prayer to manifest a
recently used this prayer to manifest a
recently used this prayer to manifest a wonderful home and our prayer was thank
wonderful home and our prayer was thank
wonderful home and our prayer was thank you God for this beautiful home that we
you God for this beautiful home that we
you God for this beautiful home that we love so much and easily afford and boy
love so much and easily afford and boy
love so much and easily afford and boy we sure got that house easily
we sure got that house easily
we sure got that house easily unfortunately my first marriage was was
unfortunately my first marriage was was
unfortunately my first marriage was was very difficult
very difficult
very difficult I was married to man who decided to
I was married to man who decided to
I was married to man who decided to control me by telling me how awful I was
control me by telling me how awful I was
control me by telling me how awful I was and I believed him for a long time and
and I believed him for a long time and
and I believed him for a long time and my self-esteem just plummeted when I was
my self-esteem just plummeted when I was
my self-esteem just plummeted when I was a young mother and I didn’t really think
a young mother and I didn’t really think
a young mother and I didn’t really think very highly and myself had no confidence
very highly and myself had no confidence
very highly and myself had no confidence and I didn’t think that I could do
and I didn’t think that I could do
and I didn’t think that I could do anything in the world except for be a
anything in the world except for be a
anything in the world except for be a wonderful mother to my two sons which I
wonderful mother to my two sons which I
wonderful mother to my two sons which I think is an important purpose but there
think is an important purpose but there
think is an important purpose but there was something more I knew that there was
was something more I knew that there was
was something more I knew that there was something else I was supposed to do it
something else I was supposed to do it
something else I was supposed to do it so I would pray all the time tell me my
so I would pray all the time tell me my
so I would pray all the time tell me my life purpose and every time I would pray
life purpose and every time I would pray
life purpose and every time I would pray that I would get visions of myself on
that I would get visions of myself on
that I would get visions of myself on television and on stages teaching people
television and on stages teaching people
television and on stages teaching people and to me that seemed like science
and to me that seemed like science
and to me that seemed like science fiction because what could I this person
fiction because what could I this person
fiction because what could I this person who didn’t have any confidence possibly
who didn’t have any confidence possibly
who didn’t have any confidence possibly teach anyone and yeah I kept getting
teach anyone and yeah I kept getting
teach anyone and yeah I kept getting these visions to go to to go give
these visions to go to to go give
these visions to go to to go give speeches and I didn’t know how to do it
speeches and I didn’t know how to do it
speeches and I didn’t know how to do it what I later learned is that we don’t
what I later learned is that we don’t
what I later learned is that we don’t have to worry about how to put our
have to worry about how to put our
have to worry about how to put our visions or dreams into reality all we
visions or dreams into reality all we
visions or dreams into reality all we have to do is follow the guidance that
have to do is follow the guidance that
have to do is follow the guidance that we get one step at a time
we get one step at a time
we get one step at a time so what happened was one day I was
so what happened was one day I was
so what happened was one day I was eating ice cream and thinking I was
eating ice cream and thinking I was
eating ice cream and thinking I was happy but I got this moment of truth
happy but I got this moment of truth
happy but I got this moment of truth that my gosh I’m not happy I’m in a
that my gosh I’m not happy I’m in a
that my gosh I’m not happy I’m in a self-made hell a prison of my own making
self-made hell a prison of my own making
self-made hell a prison of my own making and I didn’t know how to get out of it
and I didn’t know how to get out of it
and I didn’t know how to get out of it so I remember getting very humble and
so I remember getting very humble and
so I remember getting very humble and getting down on my knees and saying to
getting down on my knees and saying to
getting down on my knees and saying to God I don’t know what to do you keep
God I don’t know what to do you keep
God I don’t know what to do you keep showing me these visions I’m supposed to
showing me these visions I’m supposed to
showing me these visions I’m supposed to be a speaker I don’t think I’m qualified
be a speaker I don’t think I’m qualified
be a speaker I don’t think I’m qualified I don’t know how to make that happen but
I don’t know how to make that happen but
I don’t know how to make that happen but if you’ll show me how I’ll follow it and
if you’ll show me how I’ll follow it and
if you’ll show me how I’ll follow it and that was all it took was right away I
that was all it took was right away I
that was all it took was right away I got clear signals of what action steps
got clear signals of what action steps
got clear signals of what action steps to take and it was me surrendering that
to take and it was me surrendering that
to take and it was me surrendering that desire to control everything or predict
desire to control everything or predict
desire to control everything or predict how my dreams would come about once I
how my dreams would come about once I
how my dreams would come about once I surrendered then I was told her I
surrendered then I was told her I
surrendered then I was told her I clearly go to college and I thought how
clearly go to college and I thought how
clearly go to college and I thought how am I going to go to college I have no
am I going to go to college I have no
am I going to go to college I have no money have his two little boys
money have his two little boys
money have his two little boys we have time or money and so what I
we have time or money and so what I
we have time or money and so what I heard very clearly is go call the
heard very clearly is go call the
heard very clearly is go call the guidance counselor they’ll help you so I
guidance counselor they’ll help you so I
guidance counselor they’ll help you so I called the local college guidance
called the local college guidance
called the local college guidance counselor when in there not knowing how
counselor when in there not knowing how
counselor when in there not knowing how I was gonna go to college but I was
I was gonna go to college but I was
I was gonna go to college but I was supposed to and then I just promised God
supposed to and then I just promised God
supposed to and then I just promised God that I would follow whatever I was told
that I would follow whatever I was told
that I would follow whatever I was told to do and they helped me to get some
to do and they helped me to get some
to do and they helped me to get some student loans and so the student loans
student loans and so the student loans
student loans and so the student loans allowed me to get child care and go to
allowed me to get child care and go to
allowed me to get child care and go to school and I went school very part-time
school and I went school very part-time
school and I went school very part-time in the beginning but eventually I was
in the beginning but eventually I was
in the beginning but eventually I was able to get my associates degree in
able to get my associates degree in
able to get my associates degree in psychology which allowed me to get a job
psychology which allowed me to get a job
psychology which allowed me to get a job as a counselor at a liberal alcohol and
as a counselor at a liberal alcohol and
as a counselor at a liberal alcohol and drug counseling center and then what my
drug counseling center and then what my
drug counseling center and then what my next assignment was was to start writing
next assignment was was to start writing
next assignment was was to start writing books well I thought I thought this was
books well I thought I thought this was
books well I thought I thought this was enough just to go to college but the
enough just to go to college but the
enough just to go to college but the assignments kept coming one step at a
assignments kept coming one step at a
assignments kept coming one step at a time
time
time and for some reason I got it in my head
and for some reason I got it in my head
and for some reason I got it in my head that I was going to be published by
that I was going to be published by
that I was going to be published by Bantam and so I went around the house
Bantam and so I went around the house
Bantam and so I went around the house and I cut out all a little bantam
and I cut out all a little bantam
and I cut out all a little bantam rooster is out of my old paperback
rooster is out of my old paperback
rooster is out of my old paperback Bantam Books and put them all around the
Bantam Books and put them all around the
Bantam Books and put them all around the house and I started visualizing my name
house and I started visualizing my name
house and I started visualizing my name on the spine of a book with the little
on the spine of a book with the little
on the spine of a book with the little bands rooster and my third book was
bands rooster and my third book was
bands rooster and my third book was published by Bantam and just like my
published by Bantam and just like my
published by Bantam and just like my favorite visualization I first saw the
favorite visualization I first saw the
favorite visualization I first saw the book at a bookstore there it was named
book at a bookstore there it was named
book at a bookstore there it was named on the spine a little bantam rooster and
on the spine a little bantam rooster and
on the spine a little bantam rooster and so things like that have happened my
so things like that have happened my
so things like that have happened my entire life it’s not enough just to ask
entire life it’s not enough just to ask
entire life it’s not enough just to ask it’s not enough just to have positive
it’s not enough just to have positive
it’s not enough just to have positive thoughts you’ve got to follow the
thoughts you’ve got to follow the
thoughts you’ve got to follow the guidance you get as a result sometimes
guidance you get as a result sometimes
guidance you get as a result sometimes people tell me that they feel like their
people tell me that they feel like their
people tell me that they feel like their prayers are being ignored or that
prayers are being ignored or that
prayers are being ignored or that they’re just spinning their wheels in
they’re just spinning their wheels in
they’re just spinning their wheels in mud always these are the folks who are
mud always these are the folks who are
mud always these are the folks who are ignoring seemingly inconsequential
ignoring seemingly inconsequential
ignoring seemingly inconsequential little bits of inner guidance that are
little bits of inner guidance that are
little bits of inner guidance that are asking them to do something and because
asking them to do something and because
asking them to do something and because the universe gives us little baby steps
the universe gives us little baby steps
the universe gives us little baby steps one step at a time
one step at a time
one step at a time it’s often unrecognized when you’re told
it’s often unrecognized when you’re told
it’s often unrecognized when you’re told to go read a book take a class call
to go read a book take a class call
to go read a book take a class call someone write a letter but if we do step
someone write a letter but if we do step
someone write a letter but if we do step a then
a then
a then given the next set of instruction set be
given the next set of instruction set be
given the next set of instruction set be then will given the next set of
then will given the next set of
then will given the next set of instruction step C and it takes a step
instruction step C and it takes a step
instruction step C and it takes a step by step to where we’re going there are
by step to where we’re going there are
by step to where we’re going there are some people that I’ve met who
some people that I’ve met who
some people that I’ve met who unfortunately seem to romanticize pain
unfortunately seem to romanticize pain
unfortunately seem to romanticize pain or even worse think that it’s God’s
or even worse think that it’s God’s
or even worse think that it’s God’s doing God’s will to have pain and that’s
doing God’s will to have pain and that’s
doing God’s will to have pain and that’s just not my belief my belief is that
just not my belief my belief is that
just not my belief my belief is that God’s will for us is to have health
God’s will for us is to have health
God’s will for us is to have health prosperity abundance love harmony and
prosperity abundance love harmony and
prosperity abundance love harmony and yes there are challenges in life that we
yes there are challenges in life that we
yes there are challenges in life that we all go through and there’s no shame with
all go through and there’s no shame with
all go through and there’s no shame with that but it’s what you do with the
that but it’s what you do with the
that but it’s what you do with the challenges that counts and we can always
challenges that counts and we can always
challenges that counts and we can always find some blessings and lessons in every
find some blessings and lessons in every
find some blessings and lessons in every challenge but please let’s not wallow in
challenge but please let’s not wallow in
challenge but please let’s not wallow in them or accept them as our lot in life
them or accept them as our lot in life
them or accept them as our lot in life let’s learn from them grow and move on
let’s learn from them grow and move on
let’s learn from them grow and move on and what I do is I’ve always written
and what I do is I’ve always written
and what I do is I’ve always written books about them hoping that I can help
books about them hoping that I can help
books about them hoping that I can help someone else out of whatever quagmire I
someone else out of whatever quagmire I
someone else out of whatever quagmire I just got through and so my challenge has
just got through and so my challenge has
just got through and so my challenge has been in some relationships where I’ve
been in some relationships where I’ve
been in some relationships where I’ve been forced to say goodbye to a couple
been forced to say goodbye to a couple
been forced to say goodbye to a couple of really dear friends who just couldn’t
of really dear friends who just couldn’t
of really dear friends who just couldn’t seem to get out of that victim mentality
seem to get out of that victim mentality
seem to get out of that victim mentality and I couldn’t unfortunately stay there
and I couldn’t unfortunately stay there
and I couldn’t unfortunately stay there with them I still love them but I just
with them I still love them but I just
with them I still love them but I just couldn’t sit there and listen to the
couldn’t sit there and listen to the
couldn’t sit there and listen to the problems day after day after day because
problems day after day after day because
problems day after day after day because it affects you to be around folks who
it affects you to be around folks who
it affects you to be around folks who want to go on and on about how their
want to go on and on about how their
want to go on and on about how their victims
victims
victims I found that I would come home from
I found that I would come home from
I found that I would come home from lunches with them or getting off the
lunches with them or getting off the
lunches with them or getting off the phone with them and I would feel too
phone with them and I would feel too
phone with them and I would feel too fast and I would feel guilty and I would
fast and I would feel guilty and I would
fast and I would feel guilty and I would feel heavy and then I would start to
feel heavy and then I would start to
feel heavy and then I would start to attract those things so unfortunately we
attract those things so unfortunately we
attract those things so unfortunately we just can’t afford to hang out with folks
just can’t afford to hang out with folks
just can’t afford to hang out with folks who are in that space a lot if we do we
who are in that space a lot if we do we
who are in that space a lot if we do we have to almost go in there with a shield
have to almost go in there with a shield
have to almost go in there with a shield and really stay strong and hopefully we
and really stay strong and hopefully we
and really stay strong and hopefully we can lift them up but if we can’t
can lift them up but if we can’t
can lift them up but if we can’t unfortunately sometimes on the spiritual
unfortunately sometimes on the spiritual
unfortunately sometimes on the spiritual path we part ways
well I remember when I was single this
well I remember when I was single this divorce set and I was traveling around
divorce set and I was traveling around
divorce set and I was traveling around giving workshops and I started to feel
giving workshops and I started to feel
giving workshops and I started to feel very sorry for myself and I was looking
very sorry for myself and I was looking
very sorry for myself and I was looking around at couples that were happy and
around at couples that were happy and
around at couples that were happy and kissing go hook of God loves them more
kissing go hook of God loves them more
kissing go hook of God loves them more how come I can’t have a soulmate and
how come I can’t have a soulmate and
how come I can’t have a soulmate and that and then I caught myself affirming
that and then I caught myself affirming
that and then I caught myself affirming in the negative like that why can’t I
in the negative like that why can’t I
in the negative like that why can’t I have left why don’t I have love and
have left why don’t I have love and
have left why don’t I have love and feeling jealous of other people and once
feeling jealous of other people and once
feeling jealous of other people and once I caught it I realized what I was doing
I caught it I realized what I was doing
I caught it I realized what I was doing because I was making a prayer to not
because I was making a prayer to not
because I was making a prayer to not have a soulmate by affirming that I
have a soulmate by affirming that I
have a soulmate by affirming that I didn’t or by being jealous of others so
didn’t or by being jealous of others so
didn’t or by being jealous of others so that’s when I got really clear that hey
that’s when I got really clear that hey
that’s when I got really clear that hey wait a minute
wait a minute
wait a minute I deserve a soulmate when you get that
I deserve a soulmate when you get that
I deserve a soulmate when you get that clarity and that anger on behalf of
clarity and that anger on behalf of
clarity and that anger on behalf of yourself the universe just moves quickly
yourself the universe just moves quickly
yourself the universe just moves quickly on your behalf and it’s not that they’re
on your behalf and it’s not that they’re
on your behalf and it’s not that they’re afraid of your anger it’s because you
afraid of your anger it’s because you
afraid of your anger it’s because you got clear when I was wishy-washy about
got clear when I was wishy-washy about
got clear when I was wishy-washy about wanting a soulmate
wanting a soulmate
wanting a soulmate I got wishy-washy results I got well
I got wishy-washy results I got well
I got wishy-washy results I got well here’s a guy that’s sort of okay and
here’s a guy that’s sort of okay and
here’s a guy that’s sort of okay and maybe this guy can piece these two men
maybe this guy can piece these two men
maybe this guy can piece these two men together and have my soul mate this guy
together and have my soul mate this guy
together and have my soul mate this guy writes poetry in this guy has a good job
writes poetry in this guy has a good job
writes poetry in this guy has a good job so put them together I got a soul mate
so put them together I got a soul mate
so put them together I got a soul mate but when I got clear right away it
but when I got clear right away it
but when I got clear right away it happened and it’s not like my doorbell
happened and it’s not like my doorbell
happened and it’s not like my doorbell rang and in walks Stephen it was
rang and in walks Stephen it was
rang and in walks Stephen it was guidance this is how it’s worked for me
guidance this is how it’s worked for me
guidance this is how it’s worked for me every time I’ve visualized reformed I
every time I’ve visualized reformed I
every time I’ve visualized reformed I get this inner roadmap given to me in
get this inner roadmap given to me in
get this inner roadmap given to me in the form of gut feelings they’re
the form of gut feelings they’re
the form of gut feelings they’re repetitive that urged me to take action
repetitive that urged me to take action
repetitive that urged me to take action or visions in this case I got all of
or visions in this case I got all of
or visions in this case I got all of that plus signs that told me to get go
that plus signs that told me to get go
that plus signs that told me to get go to yoga class and the signs were in the
to yoga class and the signs were in the
to yoga class and the signs were in the form of people without me asking giving
form of people without me asking giving
form of people without me asking giving me DVDs and pamphlets about yoga and I
me DVDs and pamphlets about yoga and I
me DVDs and pamphlets about yoga and I had never wanted to go to yoga I wasn’t
had never wanted to go to yoga I wasn’t
had never wanted to go to yoga I wasn’t talking about yoga but all of a sudden
talking about yoga but all of a sudden
talking about yoga but all of a sudden everybody that I knew was
everybody that I knew was
everybody that I knew was made pamphlets for yoga classes I didn’t
made pamphlets for yoga classes I didn’t
made pamphlets for yoga classes I didn’t put two and two together that this is
put two and two together that this is
put two and two together that this is how the universe was going to deliver my
how the universe was going to deliver my
how the universe was going to deliver my soulmate but what I did see was that the
soulmate but what I did see was that the
soulmate but what I did see was that the universe wanted me to go to yoga so I
universe wanted me to go to yoga so I
universe wanted me to go to yoga so I went to yoga and I have to admit I was
went to yoga and I have to admit I was
went to yoga and I have to admit I was kicking and screaming in the beginning I
kicking and screaming in the beginning I
kicking and screaming in the beginning I thought what are you where what do you
thought what are you where what do you
thought what are you where what do you do I’m going to feel out of place and I
do I’m going to feel out of place and I
do I’m going to feel out of place and I went there and the second class I looked
went there and the second class I looked
went there and the second class I looked over and there’s this cute guy he’s
over and there’s this cute guy he’s
over and there’s this cute guy he’s blazing blue eyes next to me my heart
blazing blue eyes next to me my heart
blazing blue eyes next to me my heart went boom and I went okay maybe this is
went boom and I went okay maybe this is
went boom and I went okay maybe this is why I’m at yoga class and a little over
why I’m at yoga class and a little over
why I’m at yoga class and a little over a year later we started dating and on
a year later we started dating and on
a year later we started dating and on the second date we did that talk where’d
the second date we did that talk where’d
the second date we did that talk where’d you grow up
you grow up
you grow up where’d you go to school and I was
where’d you go to school and I was
where’d you go to school and I was floored and so was he when we found out
floored and so was he when we found out
floored and so was he when we found out we were next-door neighbors when we were
we were next-door neighbors when we were
we were next-door neighbors when we were kids he was our paperboy that I’d had a
kids he was our paperboy that I’d had a
kids he was our paperboy that I’d had a huge crush on when I was a little girl
huge crush on when I was a little girl
huge crush on when I was a little girl and we hadn’t recognized each other but
and we hadn’t recognized each other but
and we hadn’t recognized each other but I’ve fallen in love with the same guy
I’ve fallen in love with the same guy
I’ve fallen in love with the same guy twice he is clearly my soul mate I got
twice he is clearly my soul mate I got
twice he is clearly my soul mate I got what I was looking for but this is what
what I was looking for but this is what
what I was looking for but this is what I tell people who are looking for their
I tell people who are looking for their
I tell people who are looking for their soul mate or anything that they’re
soul mate or anything that they’re
soul mate or anything that they’re manifesting you it’s not enough just to
manifesting you it’s not enough just to
manifesting you it’s not enough just to ask it’s not enough just to have
ask it’s not enough just to have
ask it’s not enough just to have positive thoughts
positive thoughts
positive thoughts you’ve got to follow the guidance you
you’ve got to follow the guidance you
you’ve got to follow the guidance you get as a result true guidance is always
get as a result true guidance is always
get as a result true guidance is always filled with the senseless aura and
filled with the senseless aura and
filled with the senseless aura and feeling of warmth and love now you might
feeling of warmth and love now you might
feeling of warmth and love now you might feel intimidated by what you’re being
feel intimidated by what you’re being
feel intimidated by what you’re being asked to do and it might feel
asked to do and it might feel
asked to do and it might feel intimidating but false guidance has this
intimidating but false guidance has this
intimidating but false guidance has this sneaky getting away from an edgy feel to
sneaky getting away from an edgy feel to
sneaky getting away from an edgy feel to it so you want to watch out for that if
it so you want to watch out for that if
it so you want to watch out for that if you hear guidance it’s always in the
you hear guidance it’s always in the
you hear guidance it’s always in the second person voicing so it always says
second person voicing so it always says
second person voicing so it always says go exercise outside quit drinking go
go exercise outside quit drinking go
go exercise outside quit drinking go read this book where false guidance has
read this book where false guidance has
read this book where false guidance has that I mean go testicle sense to the
that I mean go testicle sense to the
that I mean go testicle sense to the sentences
sentences
sentences you you know words was talking to you
you you know words was talking to you
you you know words was talking to you about I might fail what if I can’t do
about I might fail what if I can’t do
about I might fail what if I can’t do this what if people laugh at me the old
this what if people laugh at me the old
this what if people laugh at me the old energy of this planet is leaving thank
energy of this planet is leaving thank
energy of this planet is leaving thank goodness and the old energy is
goodness and the old energy is
goodness and the old energy is competition and greed this belief that
competition and greed this belief that
competition and greed this belief that I’ve got to get mine before they get
I’ve got to get mine before they get
I’ve got to get mine before they get theirs and the new energy that we’re
theirs and the new energy that we’re
theirs and the new energy that we’re coming into is manifestation and
coming into is manifestation and
coming into is manifestation and cooperation and the more of us that
cooperation and the more of us that
cooperation and the more of us that learn how to manifest we’re all going to
learn how to manifest we’re all going to
learn how to manifest we’re all going to bring peace to earth one person at a
bring peace to earth one person at a
bring peace to earth one person at a time that way the the vision that the
time that way the the vision that the
time that way the the vision that the angels show me at the future is just
angels show me at the future is just
angels show me at the future is just beautiful they show me that we will stop
beautiful they show me that we will stop
beautiful they show me that we will stop going to jobs that don’t matter we’ll
going to jobs that don’t matter we’ll
going to jobs that don’t matter we’ll stop making meaningless objects that we
stop making meaningless objects that we
stop making meaningless objects that we spend money on because we feel empty
spend money on because we feel empty
spend money on because we feel empty inside and we’re going to be following
inside and we’re going to be following
inside and we’re going to be following our personal passions and they’ll be
our personal passions and they’ll be
our personal passions and they’ll be self-employment or cooperative
self-employment or cooperative
self-employment or cooperative employment where you’re working together
employment where you’re working together
employment where you’re working together on a collective passion there be more
on a collective passion there be more
on a collective passion there be more meaning in all of our lives and the way
meaning in all of our lives and the way
meaning in all of our lives and the way that we do that is by trusting our inner
that we do that is by trusting our inner
that we do that is by trusting our inner guidance that you can be fully supported
guidance that you can be fully supported
guidance that you can be fully supported by the universe by following your dreams
by the universe by following your dreams
by the universe by following your dreams and your passions and your inner
and your passions and your inner
and your passions and your inner guidance
”
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