hi I’m Evan Carmichael welcome to another edition of ask Evan in today’s
another edition of ask Evan in today’s
another edition of ask Evan in today’s episode I’m going to answer question for
episode I’m going to answer question for
episode I’m going to answer question for one of my readers Joey who has a company
one of my readers Joey who has a company
one of my readers Joey who has a company called HR printer and he asked me a
called HR printer and he asked me a
called HR printer and he asked me a question and wanted me to check out his
question and wanted me to check out his
question and wanted me to check out his sales template strategy and wanted my
sales template strategy and wanted my
sales template strategy and wanted my advice on and I thought it’d be easier
advice on and I thought it’d be easier
advice on and I thought it’d be easier to kind of walk through it together and
to kind of walk through it together and
to kind of walk through it together and give you some advice by using my
give you some advice by using my
give you some advice by using my computer instead of going on the
computer instead of going on the
computer instead of going on the whiteboard so if i look at the document
whiteboard so if i look at the document
whiteboard so if i look at the document that you sent it’s basically a sales
that you sent it’s basically a sales
that you sent it’s basically a sales presentation that i guess you’re given
presentation that i guess you’re given
presentation that i guess you’re given to entrepreneurs you said back in his
to entrepreneurs you said back in his
to entrepreneurs you said back in his email that is looking to target people
email that is looking to target people
email that is looking to target people who are a million dollars or more as
who are a million dollars or more as
who are a million dollars or more as entrepreneurs and the email doesn’t
entrepreneurs and the email doesn’t
entrepreneurs and the email doesn’t exactly say what he does so attached
exactly say what he does so attached
exactly say what he does so attached information on HR printer in the article
information on HR printer in the article
information on HR printer in the article market radiget are SME is with the
market radiget are SME is with the
market radiget are SME is with the million dollars or 10 10 employees or
million dollars or 10 10 employees or
million dollars or 10 10 employees or more we provide solutions and services
more we provide solutions and services
more we provide solutions and services to all industries however currently
to all industries however currently
to all industries however currently focus on industries that i have support
focus on industries that i have support
focus on industries that i have support throughout my career so I’m still a
throughout my career so I’m still a
throughout my career so I’m still a little curious as what he does so I’m
little curious as what he does so I’m
little curious as what he does so I’m going to check out this presentation and
going to check out this presentation and
going to check out this presentation and I don’t know if this is what you’re
I don’t know if this is what you’re
I don’t know if this is what you’re actually sending out the people well
actually sending out the people well
actually sending out the people well let’s go through it quickly so who we
let’s go through it quickly so who we
let’s go through it quickly so who we are aight reprimand capital consulting
are aight reprimand capital consulting
are aight reprimand capital consulting firm with extensive knowledge it becomes
firm with extensive knowledge it becomes
firm with extensive knowledge it becomes an integral part of your company
an integral part of your company
an integral part of your company providing it ok so it’s really long
providing it ok so it’s really long
providing it ok so it’s really long right right here the sentence is way too
right right here the sentence is way too
right right here the sentence is way too long nobody’s going to read that and
long nobody’s going to read that and
long nobody’s going to read that and nobody wants to hear you read that if
nobody wants to hear you read that if
nobody wants to hear you read that if you’re doing a presentation so you got
you’re doing a presentation so you got
you’re doing a presentation so you got to cut this down right away I’d say you
to cut this down right away I’d say you
to cut this down right away I’d say you know HR preneur is your outsourced HR
know HR preneur is your outsourced HR
know HR preneur is your outsourced HR department something like that like
department something like that like
department something like that like quick easy you got to get to the point
quick easy you got to get to the point
quick easy you got to get to the point these are entrepreneurs entrepreneurs
these are entrepreneurs entrepreneurs
these are entrepreneurs entrepreneurs I’m sure as you can imagine you’re an
I’m sure as you can imagine you’re an
I’m sure as you can imagine you’re an entrepreneur you know a lot of time to
entrepreneur you know a lot of time to
entrepreneur you know a lot of time to sit and listen to presentations or to
sit and listen to presentations or to
sit and listen to presentations or to read a whole bunch of text so i would
read a whole bunch of text so i would
read a whole bunch of text so i would definitely cut that down to one quick
definitely cut that down to one quick
definitely cut that down to one quick line that people can understand quickly
line that people can understand quickly
line that people can understand quickly what it is you do in the value have it’s
what it is you do in the value have it’s
what it is you do in the value have it’s going a little bit more we become you
going a little bit more we become you
going a little bit more we become you three these three simple words guide our
three these three simple words guide our
three these three simple words guide our partnership immerse ourselves an
partnership immerse ourselves an
partnership immerse ourselves an organization’s company dedicated to
organization’s company dedicated to
organization’s company dedicated to making human capital differentiator for
making human capital differentiator for
making human capital differentiator for our clients you know it’s it’s great as
our clients you know it’s it’s great as
our clients you know it’s it’s great as what you do is still kind of fluff
what you do is still kind of fluff
what you do is still kind of fluff you’re not getting to the point yet
you’re not getting to the point yet
you’re not getting to the point yet where i want to do business with you and
where i want to do business with you and
where i want to do business with you and really fully understand what you do
really fully understand what you do
really fully understand what you do mission small and mid-sized corporations
mission small and mid-sized corporations
mission small and mid-sized corporations okay vision inspire okay or values okay
okay vision inspire okay or values okay
okay vision inspire okay or values okay like people are going to flip through
like people are going to flip through
like people are going to flip through all this stuff because entrepreneurs are
all this stuff because entrepreneurs are
all this stuff because entrepreneurs are thinking what’s in it for me right how
thinking what’s in it for me right how
thinking what’s in it for me right how am I going to benefit from using your
am I going to benefit from using your
am I going to benefit from using your service so your mission vision all that
service so your mission vision all that
service so your mission vision all that stuff is great you know for you
stuff is great you know for you
stuff is great you know for you internally and it may be something that
internally and it may be something that
internally and it may be something that that your clients would care about
that your clients would care about
that your clients would care about ongoing now once they’re there at the
ongoing now once they’re there at the
ongoing now once they’re there at the point where they’re thinking do I want
point where they’re thinking do I want
point where they’re thinking do I want to do business with you but right now
to do business with you but right now
to do business with you but right now you gotta you gotta get somebody
you gotta you gotta get somebody
you gotta you gotta get somebody interested you got to tell them why they
interested you got to tell them why they
interested you got to tell them why they should do business you and you got to
should do business you and you got to
should do business you and you got to hit them home right away so we’re you
hit them home right away so we’re you
hit them home right away so we’re you know we’re we’re six slides in seven
know we’re we’re six slides in seven
know we’re we’re six slides in seven slides in here and you haven’t grabbed
slides in here and you haven’t grabbed
slides in here and you haven’t grabbed me yet too much text on this page I mean
me yet too much text on this page I mean
me yet too much text on this page I mean if you want to read it flywheel too much
if you want to read it flywheel too much
if you want to read it flywheel too much text again it’s great you’re pulling
text again it’s great you’re pulling
text again it’s great you’re pulling concepts from Jim Collins Hedgehog way
concepts from Jim Collins Hedgehog way
concepts from Jim Collins Hedgehog way too much text too much tax too much tax
too much text too much tax too much tax
too much text too much tax too much tax now I’m scrolling I’m scrolling I’m
now I’m scrolling I’m scrolling I’m
now I’m scrolling I’m scrolling I’m looking for Oh cost is good so how much
looking for Oh cost is good so how much
looking for Oh cost is good so how much is it going to cost me please a typical
is it going to cost me please a typical
is it going to cost me please a typical cost you say between fifteen six percent
cost you say between fifteen six percent
cost you say between fifteen six percent in costs per year okay it’s good there’s
in costs per year okay it’s good there’s
in costs per year okay it’s good there’s a benefit your services okay try to kind
a benefit your services okay try to kind
a benefit your services okay try to kind of squeeze that down it’d be good if you
of squeeze that down it’d be good if you
of squeeze that down it’d be good if you had a process that maybe was clearly
had a process that maybe was clearly
had a process that maybe was clearly explaining diagrams initially
explaining diagrams initially
explaining diagrams initially specialties you know you said before you
specialties you know you said before you
specialties you know you said before you didn’t have specialties so I guess you
didn’t have specialties so I guess you
didn’t have specialties so I guess you do have some of them here in questions
do have some of them here in questions
do have some of them here in questions so wow this was a presentation that
so wow this was a presentation that
so wow this was a presentation that you’re giving you’re going to lose a lot
you’re giving you’re going to lose a lot
you’re giving you’re going to lose a lot of people going to be pretty bored just
of people going to be pretty bored just
of people going to be pretty bored just honest feedback I had to go through a
honest feedback I had to go through a
honest feedback I had to go through a ton of presentations as a venture
ton of presentations as a venture
ton of presentations as a venture capitalist and you gotta cut down the
capitalist and you gotta cut down the
capitalist and you gotta cut down the slides you have to cut down the number
slides you have to cut down the number
slides you have to cut down the number of words and speak to them more and you
of words and speak to them more and you
of words and speak to them more and you got to grab the reader with value for
got to grab the reader with value for
got to grab the reader with value for them so I kind of have a sense of how
them so I kind of have a sense of how
them so I kind of have a sense of how much your service cost the benefits of
much your service cost the benefits of
much your service cost the benefits of using your service are buried somewhere
using your service are buried somewhere
using your service are buried somewhere in all that text that you have up there
in all that text that you have up there
in all that text that you have up there I don’t know who your clients are
I don’t know who your clients are
I don’t know who your clients are example so who are some reference
example so who are some reference
example so who are some reference clients what are some testimonials from
clients what are some testimonials from
clients what are some testimonials from them have you are you just a start-up
them have you are you just a start-up
them have you are you just a start-up like when did you start this business do
like when did you start this business do
like when did you start this business do you have any media attention
you have any media attention
you have any media attention nishan build some momentum to make me
nishan build some momentum to make me
nishan build some momentum to make me want to see that you’re not just some
want to see that you’re not just some
want to see that you’re not just some fly-by-night operation is going to leave
fly-by-night operation is going to leave
fly-by-night operation is going to leave me hanging next year when you go out of
me hanging next year when you go out of
me hanging next year when you go out of business you know the slides cut off to
business you know the slides cut off to
business you know the slides cut off to you might want to fix that one up so
you might want to fix that one up so
you might want to fix that one up so less text more value straight to the
less text more value straight to the
less text more value straight to the point think about yourself as an
point think about yourself as an
point think about yourself as an entrepreneur if you’re getting pitched
entrepreneur if you’re getting pitched
entrepreneur if you’re getting pitched by another company you don’t have time
by another company you don’t have time
by another company you don’t have time to sit through huge presentations and
to sit through huge presentations and
to sit through huge presentations and nobody’s going to read this if you send
nobody’s going to read this if you send
nobody’s going to read this if you send it to them so you got a you got to cut
it to them so you got a you got to cut
it to them so you got a you got to cut that down make it more succinct I think
that down make it more succinct I think
that down make it more succinct I think there is some value what you have you
there is some value what you have you
there is some value what you have you just gotta say it more clearly more
just gotta say it more clearly more
just gotta say it more clearly more quickly and hit home the benefits as
quickly and hit home the benefits as
quickly and hit home the benefits as soon as you can so I hope that helps if
soon as you can so I hope that helps if
soon as you can so I hope that helps if you guys liked the video please give it
you guys liked the video please give it
you guys liked the video please give it a thumbs up below I’d love to hear you
a thumbs up below I’d love to hear you
a thumbs up below I’d love to hear you have to think maybe you guys love this
have to think maybe you guys love this
have to think maybe you guys love this presentation love to hear some comments
presentation love to hear some comments
presentation love to hear some comments if you want to leave it underneath this
if you want to leave it underneath this
if you want to leave it underneath this video and stay tuned for next episode
”
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