welcome to another YouTube pea-soup er excited to be here with a new friend and
excited to be here with a new friend and
excited to be here with a new friend and special guest Jordin who has an amazing
special guest Jordin who has an amazing
special guest Jordin who has an amazing podcast I’m going to be on it shortly
podcast I’m going to be on it shortly
podcast I’m going to be on it shortly we’re talking about charm it’s called
we’re talking about charm it’s called
we’re talking about charm it’s called the art of charm one of the top 50
the art of charm one of the top 50
the art of charm one of the top 50 podcast you can go check out downloads
podcast you can go check out downloads
podcast you can go check out downloads she is on today to help us talk about
she is on today to help us talk about
she is on today to help us talk about how to be yourself how does it Hawk
how to be yourself how does it Hawk
how to be yourself how does it Hawk yourself into and out of almost any
yourself into and out of almost any
yourself into and out of almost any situation that you want to and I’m super
situation that you want to and I’m super
situation that you want to and I’m super excited to learn how I think we could be
excited to learn how I think we could be
excited to learn how I think we could be a little more charming myself
a little more charming myself
a little more charming myself Jordin welcome aboard man thanks for
Jordin welcome aboard man thanks for
Jordin welcome aboard man thanks for having me man I appreciate it I love the
having me man I appreciate it I love the
having me man I appreciate it I love the background are those acoustic panels
background are those acoustic panels
background are those acoustic panels with with photos printed on them I wish
with with photos printed on them I wish
with with photos printed on them I wish that I was that smart man they are just
that I was that smart man they are just
that I was that smart man they are just canvas panels they’re not a missile they
canvas panels they’re not a missile they
canvas panels they’re not a missile they look like acoustic panels I mean I have
look like acoustic panels I mean I have
look like acoustic panels I mean I have the same thing in my in my studio here
the same thing in my in my studio here
the same thing in my in my studio here but I didn’t put photos on them I
but I didn’t put photos on them I
but I didn’t put photos on them I thought what a great idea
thought what a great idea
thought what a great idea we can combine our two ideas together
we can combine our two ideas together
we can combine our two ideas together yeah I like that now are you shooting
yeah I like that now are you shooting
yeah I like that now are you shooting video for your podcast as well
video for your podcast as well
video for your podcast as well I don’t so you’re off the hook on all of
I don’t so you’re off the hook on all of
I don’t so you’re off the hook on all of the things you did to make yourself look
the things you did to make yourself look
the things you did to make yourself look so beautiful today
so beautiful today
so beautiful today it’s an audio-only program we’ll use
it’s an audio-only program we’ll use
it’s an audio-only program we’ll use video so that I can see you to make sure
video so that I can see you to make sure
video so that I can see you to make sure you’re not like playing candy crush
you’re not like playing candy crush
you’re not like playing candy crush while I’m interviewing you but I don’t
while I’m interviewing you but I don’t
while I’m interviewing you but I don’t air the video which I think benefits me
air the video which I think benefits me
air the video which I think benefits me personally having a face for radio and
personally having a face for radio and
personally having a face for radio and most of my guests to get self-conscious
most of my guests to get self-conscious
most of my guests to get self-conscious you know busy being a general not busy
you know busy being a general not busy
you know busy being a general not busy being on TV or things like that so but I
being on TV or things like that so but I
being on TV or things like that so but I do I love the YouTube format I tell
do I love the YouTube format I tell
do I love the YouTube format I tell people all the time if I had to go back
people all the time if I had to go back
people all the time if I had to go back and start over
and start over
and start over I’ve been doing the show for 10 years
I’ve been doing the show for 10 years
I’ve been doing the show for 10 years but if I had to go back and start over
but if I had to go back and start over
but if I had to go back and start over YouTube hands down I mean it didn’t
YouTube hands down I mean it didn’t
YouTube hands down I mean it didn’t exist then even Gary Vee was using like
exist then even Gary Vee was using like
exist then even Gary Vee was using like zidler or something bags ahead in which
zidler or something bags ahead in which
zidler or something bags ahead in which to pry doesn’t exist anymore but YouTube
to pry doesn’t exist anymore but YouTube
to pry doesn’t exist anymore but YouTube is a better format so props to you for
is a better format so props to you for
is a better format so props to you for getting on that cool before we dive too
getting on that cool before we dive too
getting on that cool before we dive too deep can you just give my my arms a
deep can you just give my my arms a
deep can you just give my my arms a little bit of a review of the art of
little bit of a review of the art of
little bit of a review of the art of charm what you’re all about what you’re
charm what you’re all about what you’re
charm what you’re all about what you’re doing
doing
doing well back absolutely so what I do at the
well back absolutely so what I do at the
well back absolutely so what I do at the ardour charm there’s a show of course by
ardour charm there’s a show of course by
ardour charm there’s a show of course by the same name which I host but what we
the same name which I host but what we
the same name which I host but what we are is both a show and a school the
are is both a show and a school the
are is both a show and a school the school is located in LA and people fly
school is located in LA and people fly
school is located in LA and people fly in from all over the world and learn
in from all over the world and learn
in from all over the world and learn about things like nonverbal
about things like nonverbal
about things like nonverbal communication body language persuasion
communication body language persuasion
communication body language persuasion influence networking things like that so
influence networking things like that so
influence networking things like that so a lot
a lot
a lot soft skills that we make in I’d like to
soft skills that we make in I’d like to
soft skills that we make in I’d like to say we turn them into hard skills though
say we turn them into hard skills though
say we turn them into hard skills though that technically makes no sense but what
that technically makes no sense but what
that technically makes no sense but what I mean by that is instead of being like
I mean by that is instead of being like
I mean by that is instead of being like just be there for the person it’s like
just be there for the person it’s like
just be there for the person it’s like no no what does that mean what does it
no no what does that mean what does it
no no what does that mean what does it mean to give emotional support what does
mean to give emotional support what does
mean to give emotional support what does it mean to be persuasive it doesn’t mean
it mean to be persuasive it doesn’t mean
it mean to be persuasive it doesn’t mean this that the other thing it’s not what
this that the other thing it’s not what
this that the other thing it’s not what you read unlike some blog article by
you read unlike some blog article by
you read unlike some blog article by some buddy who’s trying to do content
some buddy who’s trying to do content
some buddy who’s trying to do content marketing I’ll have a real person in
marketing I’ll have a real person in
marketing I’ll have a real person in here talking about this and so on the
here talking about this and so on the
here talking about this and so on the show we we try to also teach this very
show we we try to also teach this very
show we we try to also teach this very similar and same content so I’ll have
similar and same content so I’ll have
similar and same content so I’ll have like I had Tony Hawk on recently and he
like I had Tony Hawk on recently and he
like I had Tony Hawk on recently and he wasn’t just talking about skating he was
wasn’t just talking about skating he was
wasn’t just talking about skating he was talking about look man building a
talking about look man building a
talking about look man building a business in this world that nobody cared
business in this world that nobody cared
business in this world that nobody cared about for 10 years and then became this
about for 10 years and then became this
about for 10 years and then became this cutthroat competitive market space like
cutthroat competitive market space like
cutthroat competitive market space like why did he choose to make that brand how
why did he choose to make that brand how
why did he choose to make that brand how is he protected his brand how has he
is he protected his brand how has he
is he protected his brand how has he become famous in the face of all of this
become famous in the face of all of this
become famous in the face of all of this like corporate industrial might his face
like corporate industrial might his face
like corporate industrial might his face I’ve had general McChrystal on who is
I’ve had general McChrystal on who is
I’ve had general McChrystal on who is our theater commander in Afghanistan
our theater commander in Afghanistan
our theater commander in Afghanistan Iraq special forces guy and just he was
Iraq special forces guy and just he was
Iraq special forces guy and just he was dismissed by Obama so I went through
dismissed by Obama so I went through
dismissed by Obama so I went through like how do you make tough decisions
like how do you make tough decisions
like how do you make tough decisions where people could die and then also on
where people could die and then also on
where people could die and then also on the other end of that if you screw up
the other end of that if you screw up
the other end of that if you screw up not only are people going to die but
not only are people going to die but
not only are people going to die but then your careers over and so I talk
then your careers over and so I talk
then your careers over and so I talk about the decision-making process when
about the decision-making process when
about the decision-making process when it comes to that because I think that
it comes to that because I think that
it comes to that because I think that those of us where our biggest decision
those of us where our biggest decision
those of us where our biggest decision is do I go to Starbucks or coffee bean
is do I go to Starbucks or coffee bean
is do I go to Starbucks or coffee bean can also benefit from different modes of
can also benefit from different modes of
can also benefit from different modes of thinking so I try to convey mindset in
thinking so I try to convey mindset in
thinking so I try to convey mindset in the show and again it’s it’s all stuff
the show and again it’s it’s all stuff
the show and again it’s it’s all stuff that’s practical practical and
that’s practical practical and
that’s practical practical and applicable not just like you can do it
applicable not just like you can do it
applicable not just like you can do it because I think inspirations cheap you
because I think inspirations cheap you
because I think inspirations cheap you know it’s so easy to find and it’s
know it’s so easy to find and it’s
know it’s so easy to find and it’s actually hard to apply and become
actually hard to apply and become
actually hard to apply and become successful so those are the people I
successful so those are the people I
successful so those are the people I like to deconstruct I love it now
like to deconstruct I love it now
like to deconstruct I love it now talking about you will talk to yourself
talking about you will talk to yourself
talking about you will talk to yourself into or out of any situation what are
into or out of any situation what are
into or out of any situation what are some of the things that people need to
some of the things that people need to
some of the things that people need to keep in mind or what somebody showed up
keep in mind or what somebody showed up
keep in mind or what somebody showed up at your school
at your school
at your school empathy one movie what are some of the
empathy one movie what are some of the
empathy one movie what are some of the most foundational things that you need
most foundational things that you need
most foundational things that you need to break or they need to understand
to break or they need to understand
to break or they need to understand before they’re ready to move forward
before they’re ready to move forward
before they’re ready to move forward with some of the tactics sure definitely
with some of the tactics sure definitely
with some of the tactics sure definitely I think this is kind of a funny funny
I think this is kind of a funny funny
I think this is kind of a funny funny question in a way because there are two
question in a way because there are two
question in a way because there are two sides to the the learning coin the first
sides to the the learning coin the first
sides to the the learning coin the first day at AOC the
day at AOC the
day at AOC the first time people come in generally our
first time people come in generally our
first time people come in generally our perception of how good we are at how I
perception of how good we are at how I
perception of how good we are at how I should say how well we have a handle on
should say how well we have a handle on
should say how well we have a handle on these skills
these skills
these skills he’s always way off people either come
he’s always way off people either come
he’s always way off people either come in thinking look I’m really good with
in thinking look I’m really good with
in thinking look I’m really good with people I’m great at generating rapport
people I’m great at generating rapport
people I’m great at generating rapport I’m pretty good at reading body language
I’m pretty good at reading body language
I’m pretty good at reading body language I’m pretty good at the confidence thing
I’m pretty good at the confidence thing
I’m pretty good at the confidence thing but I got to work on ABCD and I’m like
but I got to work on ABCD and I’m like
but I got to work on ABCD and I’m like okay great let we take that down in the
okay great let we take that down in the
okay great let we take that down in the intake form we have a conversation about
intake form we have a conversation about
intake form we have a conversation about that or they come in and this is more
that or they come in and this is more
that or they come in and this is more like like guys like me come in and go
like like guys like me come in and go
like like guys like me come in and go I’m not that good at this I’m not that
I’m not that good at this I’m not that
I’m not that good at this I’m not that good at that I’m really not good at this
good at that I’m really not good at this
good at that I’m really not good at this and then I have to as an instructor my
and then I have to as an instructor my
and then I have to as an instructor my team in LA Johnny and AJ and fern and
team in LA Johnny and AJ and fern and
team in LA Johnny and AJ and fern and all those cats down in LA they have to
all those cats down in LA they have to
all those cats down in LA they have to take that guy and go no here’s actual
take that guy and go no here’s actual
take that guy and go no here’s actual proof that you’re better at these things
proof that you’re better at these things
proof that you’re better at these things than you know and now we’re going to
than you know and now we’re going to
than you know and now we’re going to build the skill set so one of the things
build the skill set so one of the things
build the skill set so one of the things that we do on the very first day is we
that we do on the very first day is we
that we do on the very first day is we videotape people in real interactions
videotape people in real interactions
videotape people in real interactions and then we show them their body
and then we show them their body
and then we show them their body language their nonverbal communication
language their nonverbal communication
language their nonverbal communication the way they sit stand walk and talk and
the way they sit stand walk and talk and
the way they sit stand walk and talk and either they’re thrilled because we’re
either they’re thrilled because we’re
either they’re thrilled because we’re building on this foundation that they
building on this foundation that they
building on this foundation that they didn’t know they had or they’re ready I
didn’t know they had or they’re ready I
didn’t know they had or they’re ready I won’t say horrendously disappointed but
won’t say horrendously disappointed but
won’t say horrendously disappointed but some of other people are less than
some of other people are less than
some of other people are less than thrilled but they are then ready to
thrilled but they are then ready to
thrilled but they are then ready to learn because their ego has kind of been
learn because their ego has kind of been
learn because their ego has kind of been whitewashed by the videotape because
whitewashed by the videotape because
whitewashed by the videotape because that tape don’t lie does that make sense
that tape don’t lie does that make sense
that tape don’t lie does that make sense yeah it says so nobody nobody has that
yeah it says so nobody nobody has that
yeah it says so nobody nobody has that you know I kind of think for me it kind
you know I kind of think for me it kind
you know I kind of think for me it kind of I think about people’s relationships
of I think about people’s relationships
of I think about people’s relationships with money I don’t think people grow up
with money I don’t think people grow up
with money I don’t think people grow up having a healthy relationship with money
having a healthy relationship with money
having a healthy relationship with money the other these are like it’s everything
the other these are like it’s everything
the other these are like it’s everything and it’s the only thing that matters or
and it’s the only thing that matters or
and it’s the only thing that matters or like oh I don’t deserve money like that
like oh I don’t deserve money like that
like oh I don’t deserve money like that you know I shouldn’t you know I can’t
you know I shouldn’t you know I can’t
you know I shouldn’t you know I can’t get that and so at some point you need
get that and so at some point you need
get that and so at some point you need to learn that the right relationship and
to learn that the right relationship and
to learn that the right relationship and so I think is the same thing people
so I think is the same thing people
so I think is the same thing people don’t have the right expectations going
don’t have the right expectations going
don’t have the right expectations going in as interesting what is when some of
in as interesting what is when some of
in as interesting what is when some of them so what is some of the basic said
them so what is some of the basic said
them so what is some of the basic said like I want to be more charming I see
like I want to be more charming I see
like I want to be more charming I see how this going to impact my my career my
how this going to impact my my career my
how this going to impact my my career my business my relationships whether some
business my relationships whether some
business my relationships whether some of the foundational things that you work
of the foundational things that you work
of the foundational things that you work people to here I’d love to give a
people to here I’d love to give a
people to here I’d love to give a practical drill slash exercise that
practical drill slash exercise that
practical drill slash exercise that everybody watching hanging out with us
everybody watching hanging out with us
everybody watching hanging out with us can actually apply right away starting
can actually apply right away starting
can actually apply right away starting today if that is that cool does that fit
today if that is that cool does that fit
today if that is that cool does that fit your model do it I love them can I do
your model do it I love them can I do
your model do it I love them can I do anyway my movie
anyway my movie
anyway my movie around what am i doing yeah moving right
around what am i doing yeah moving right
around what am i doing yeah moving right well okay so essentially and I’m going
well okay so essentially and I’m going
well okay so essentially and I’m going to stand up too and I know that made no
to stand up too and I know that made no
to stand up too and I know that made no difference whatsoever Jessie I’m a when
difference whatsoever Jessie I’m a when
difference whatsoever Jessie I’m a when I sit I’m as tall as a I’m going to
I sit I’m as tall as a I’m going to
I sit I’m as tall as a I’m going to stand on camera so the way that this
stand on camera so the way that this
stand on camera so the way that this works this is called the doorway drill
works this is called the doorway drill
works this is called the doorway drill and I’m going to back up and talk about
and I’m going to back up and talk about
and I’m going to back up and talk about why this is important at first so the
why this is important at first so the
why this is important at first so the doorway drill is essentially a
doorway drill is essentially a
doorway drill is essentially a first-impression drill and most people
first-impression drill and most people
first-impression drill and most people think their first impression everybody I
think their first impression everybody I
think their first impression everybody I don’t think it’s up for debate your
don’t think it’s up for debate your
don’t think it’s up for debate your first impression is very important bla
first impression is very important bla
first impression is very important bla bla bla you never get a second chance to
bla bla you never get a second chance to
bla bla you never get a second chance to make a first impression cliche hear
make a first impression cliche hear
make a first impression cliche hear cliche there that stuff is well known by
cliche there that stuff is well known by
cliche there that stuff is well known by everybody but what most people do not
everybody but what most people do not
everybody but what most people do not know is that your first impression is
know is that your first impression is
know is that your first impression is not made when you open your mouth to say
not made when you open your mouth to say
not made when you open your mouth to say something it’s not made when you want to
something it’s not made when you want to
something it’s not made when you want to make that first impression and that’s
make that first impression and that’s
make that first impression and that’s very important to know what I mean by
very important to know what I mean by
very important to know what I mean by that and just to put this in kind of
that and just to put this in kind of
that and just to put this in kind of like a funny dating context is if you’re
like a funny dating context is if you’re
like a funny dating context is if you’re a guy and you’re walking up to a group
a guy and you’re walking up to a group
a guy and you’re walking up to a group of women your first impression is not
of women your first impression is not
of women your first impression is not made when you walk up and you’re like
made when you walk up and you’re like
made when you walk up and you’re like hey ladies what are you drinking or
hey ladies what are you drinking or
hey ladies what are you drinking or whatever you know corny thing you’ve got
whatever you know corny thing you’ve got
whatever you know corny thing you’ve got on deck your first impression is made
on deck your first impression is made
on deck your first impression is made will you become a blip on other people’s
will you become a blip on other people’s
will you become a blip on other people’s radar and so what that means essentially
radar and so what that means essentially
radar and so what that means essentially is that when they see you that’s your
is that when they see you that’s your
is that when they see you that’s your first impression and the next 20 minutes
first impression and the next 20 minutes
first impression and the next 20 minutes of you hanging out with your friends and
of you hanging out with your friends and
of you hanging out with your friends and interacting with other people and not
interacting with other people and not
interacting with other people and not them that makes up the bulk of your
them that makes up the bulk of your
them that makes up the bulk of your first impression it’s not controlled by
first impression it’s not controlled by
first impression it’s not controlled by you and what that also means since it’s
you and what that also means since it’s
you and what that also means since it’s not what you say to them when you want
not what you say to them when you want
not what you say to them when you want to say it it means that it’s based on a
to say it it means that it’s based on a
to say it it means that it’s based on a visual assessment of who you are and
visual assessment of who you are and
visual assessment of who you are and this goes back to evolutionary
this goes back to evolutionary
this goes back to evolutionary psychology and women are much better at
psychology and women are much better at
psychology and women are much better at this than men are because of the way
this than men are because of the way
this than men are because of the way that the safety concern that women
that the safety concern that women
that the safety concern that women evolved over hundreds of thousands of
evolved over hundreds of thousands of
evolved over hundreds of thousands of years and the human species and stuff
years and the human species and stuff
years and the human species and stuff that doesn’t concern us here but what
that doesn’t concern us here but what
that doesn’t concern us here but what this means essentially for us is that
this means essentially for us is that
this means essentially for us is that the way that you sit stand walk and talk
the way that you sit stand walk and talk
the way that you sit stand walk and talk is more important than the words coming
is more important than the words coming
is more important than the words coming out of your mouth especially before
out of your mouth especially before
out of your mouth especially before you’ve actually had a chance to come up
you’ve actually had a chance to come up
you’ve actually had a chance to come up with your clever little opener and
with your clever little opener and
with your clever little opener and deliver it and this is extremely
deliver it and this is extremely
deliver it and this is extremely extremely important to know because this
extremely important to know because this
extremely important to know because this changes the timeframe the window in
changes the timeframe the window in
changes the timeframe the window in which your first impression is made it’s
which your first impression is made it’s
which your first impression is made it’s much much earlier so
much much earlier so
much much earlier so instead of it being when you decide to
instead of it being when you decide to
instead of it being when you decide to go over there and chat after you’ve had
go over there and chat after you’ve had
go over there and chat after you’ve had three Jack and cokes or whatever you’re
three Jack and cokes or whatever you’re
three Jack and cokes or whatever you’re doing it’s made when you walk down the
doing it’s made when you walk down the
doing it’s made when you walk down the stairs into the the venue or if it’s
stairs into the the venue or if it’s
stairs into the the venue or if it’s made when you step into the board room
made when you step into the board room
made when you step into the board room for the meeting it’s not made the first
for the meeting it’s not made the first
for the meeting it’s not made the first time you say something that’s
time you say something that’s
time you say something that’s counteracting your first impression or
counteracting your first impression or
counteracting your first impression or bolstering it it’s not your actual first
bolstering it it’s not your actual first
bolstering it it’s not your actual first impression a lot and when I worked on
impression a lot and when I worked on
impression a lot and when I worked on Wall Street I used to be an attorney in
Wall Street I used to be an attorney in
Wall Street I used to be an attorney in a past life here and I used to sit in
a past life here and I used to sit in
a past life here and I used to sit in meetings and conference calls and think
meetings and conference calls and think
meetings and conference calls and think of something really really smart to say
of something really really smart to say
of something really really smart to say and be on my blackberry and looking at
and be on my blackberry and looking at
and be on my blackberry and looking at the case stuff and I would say something
the case stuff and I would say something
the case stuff and I would say something I’d be so proud of myself and then after
I’d be so proud of myself and then after
I’d be so proud of myself and then after the meeting inevitably one of the
the meeting inevitably one of the
the meeting inevitably one of the partners would say hey you know you look
partners would say hey you know you look
partners would say hey you know you look a little bit checked out I’m thinking
a little bit checked out I’m thinking
a little bit checked out I’m thinking what I’m the one who spoke in the
what I’m the one who spoke in the
what I’m the one who spoke in the meeting how am I checked out and I’m
meeting how am I checked out and I’m
meeting how am I checked out and I’m checked out because everything I did
checked out because everything I did
checked out because everything I did before I spoke was looking at my
before I spoke was looking at my
before I spoke was looking at my blackberry looking at the case law
blackberry looking at the case law
blackberry looking at the case law looking at the facts trying to make
looking at the facts trying to make
looking at the facts trying to make myself small so nobody called on me just
myself small so nobody called on me just
myself small so nobody called on me just like I did in school right I mean this
like I did in school right I mean this
like I did in school right I mean this is very familiar
is very familiar
is very familiar so the doorway drill seeks to counteract
so the doorway drill seeks to counteract
so the doorway drill seeks to counteract that by building up your nonverbal
that by building up your nonverbal
that by building up your nonverbal communication which is actually the bulk
communication which is actually the bulk
communication which is actually the bulk of your first impression because
of your first impression because
of your first impression because remember it’s not about what we say it’s
remember it’s not about what we say it’s
remember it’s not about what we say it’s about what we look like beforehand and
about what we look like beforehand and
about what we look like beforehand and most of us are so self-absorbed we don’t
most of us are so self-absorbed we don’t
most of us are so self-absorbed we don’t manage our nonverbal communication so
manage our nonverbal communication so
manage our nonverbal communication so the way that we do this is we stand up
the way that we do this is we stand up
the way that we do this is we stand up straight chin up chest shoulders back
straight chin up chest shoulders back
straight chin up chest shoulders back and a smile on your face right and you
and a smile on your face right and you
and a smile on your face right and you don’t have to exaggerate it you have to
don’t have to exaggerate it you have to
don’t have to exaggerate it you have to look like a serious weirdo when you’re
look like a serious weirdo when you’re
look like a serious weirdo when you’re doing it you’re supposed to memorize and
doing it you’re supposed to memorize and
doing it you’re supposed to memorize and sort of get a feeling for how your body
sort of get a feeling for how your body
sort of get a feeling for how your body feels when you’re doing this and this is
feels when you’re doing this and this is
feels when you’re doing this and this is very important because we need to
very important because we need to
very important because we need to relegate this to the level of habit
relegate this to the level of habit
relegate this to the level of habit because what most people do is they go
because what most people do is they go
because what most people do is they go okay my first impressions made not when
okay my first impressions made not when
okay my first impressions made not when I open my mouth it’s made when when I
I open my mouth it’s made when when I
I open my mouth it’s made when when I become a blip on the radar okay so next
become a blip on the radar okay so next
become a blip on the radar okay so next time I go to this networking event next
time I go to this networking event next
time I go to this networking event next time I go out or next time I go get
time I go out or next time I go get
time I go out or next time I go get coffee or next time I do this I’m going
coffee or next time I do this I’m going
coffee or next time I do this I’m going to make sure that I stand up straight I
to make sure that I stand up straight I
to make sure that I stand up straight I got my shoulders back and my chins up
got my shoulders back and my chins up
got my shoulders back and my chins up but the problem is if you try to manage
but the problem is if you try to manage
but the problem is if you try to manage this stuff consciously what happens is
this stuff consciously what happens is
this stuff consciously what happens is now I’m talking to you and I’m here
now I’m talking to you and I’m here
now I’m talking to you and I’m here saying something and I’m like oh it’s my
saying something and I’m like oh it’s my
saying something and I’m like oh it’s my chin up or my shoulders back is my okay
chin up or my shoulders back is my okay
chin up or my shoulders back is my okay smile on my face oh crap what was Evan
smile on my face oh crap what was Evan
smile on my face oh crap what was Evan talking about oh my god I wasn’t
talking about oh my god I wasn’t
talking about oh my god I wasn’t listening he’s going to know I wasn’t
listening he’s going to know I wasn’t
listening he’s going to know I wasn’t listening wait oh crap he’s still
listening wait oh crap he’s still
listening wait oh crap he’s still talking and I’m still negative self-talk
talking and I’m still negative self-talk
talking and I’m still negative self-talk feedback loop from hell and then
feedback loop from hell and then
feedback loop from hell and then everything – plane crashes into the
everything – plane crashes into the
everything – plane crashes into the mountain and so what the doorway drill
mountain and so what the doorway drill
mountain and so what the doorway drill does is if we remember how this feels
does is if we remember how this feels
does is if we remember how this feels and how it looks
and how it looks
and how it looks we do this every time we walk through a
we do this every time we walk through a
we do this every time we walk through a doorway we reset our physiology to this
doorway we reset our physiology to this
doorway we reset our physiology to this particular set of this particular stance
particular set of this particular stance
particular set of this particular stance this particular body language this open
this particular body language this open
this particular body language this open body language positive body language we
body language positive body language we
body language positive body language we do this even in our own house when you
do this even in our own house when you
do this even in our own house when you walk into your your living room your
walk into your your living room your
walk into your your living room your bathroom your kids bedroom your front
bathroom your kids bedroom your front
bathroom your kids bedroom your front door whatever if you do this all the
door whatever if you do this all the
door whatever if you do this all the time you’re going to do this dozens and
time you’re going to do this dozens and
time you’re going to do this dozens and dozens of times every day and this is
dozens of times every day and this is
dozens of times every day and this is going to set up your physiology
going to set up your physiology
going to set up your physiology differently so that you no longer have
differently so that you no longer have
differently so that you no longer have to remember to do this because you’re
to remember to do this because you’re
to remember to do this because you’re building the habit of creating this
building the habit of creating this
building the habit of creating this physiology in yourself and so what that
physiology in yourself and so what that
physiology in yourself and so what that means is that next time you do go down
means is that next time you do go down
means is that next time you do go down to Starbucks or next time you do but I
to Starbucks or next time you do but I
to Starbucks or next time you do but I guess you’re in Canada so next I’m you
guess you’re in Canada so next I’m you
guess you’re in Canada so next I’m you do go down to Tim Hortons right you you
do go down to Tim Hortons right you you
do go down to Tim Hortons right you you yeah I grew up any tribe so I got I got
yeah I grew up any tribe so I got I got
yeah I grew up any tribe so I got I got it do we have a machine we do it I just
it do we have a machine we do it I just
it do we have a machine we do it I just the first important coffee though that
the first important coffee though that
the first important coffee though that stuff is amazing it’s a in Detroit we
stuff is amazing it’s a in Detroit we
stuff is amazing it’s a in Detroit we basically we’re a short hop to Windsor
basically we’re a short hop to Windsor
basically we’re a short hop to Windsor to go to go get everything including
to go to go get everything including
to go to go get everything including alcohol when you’re 19 oh that was my
alcohol when you’re 19 oh that was my
alcohol when you’re 19 oh that was my childhood explains a lot actually but
childhood explains a lot actually but
childhood explains a lot actually but what that means is that next time you go
what that means is that next time you go
what that means is that next time you go out the door you don’t have to worry or
out the door you don’t have to worry or
out the door you don’t have to worry or even think about your body language in
even think about your body language in
even think about your body language in your physiology or nonverbal
your physiology or nonverbal
your physiology or nonverbal communication because you have relegated
communication because you have relegated
communication because you have relegated hopefully at this point a few weeks
hopefully at this point a few weeks
hopefully at this point a few weeks later of doing the doorway doorway drill
later of doing the doorway doorway drill
later of doing the doorway doorway drill you’ve relegated this to the level of
you’ve relegated this to the level of
you’ve relegated this to the level of habit so that next time you’re
habit so that next time you’re
habit so that next time you’re interacting with people your physiology
interacting with people your physiology
interacting with people your physiology is different your first impressions are
is different your first impressions are
is different your first impressions are therefore different and this creates a
therefore different and this creates a
therefore different and this creates a virtuous cycle because when you look a
virtuous cycle because when you look a
virtuous cycle because when you look a certain way and you start to behave a
certain way and you start to behave a
certain way and you start to behave a little bit in the way of that physiology
little bit in the way of that physiology
little bit in the way of that physiology people start to treat you differently
people start to treat you differently
people start to treat you differently and this is something that happens
and this is something that happens
and this is something that happens subconsciously we’re wired this way as
subconsciously we’re wired this way as
subconsciously we’re wired this way as humans people treat you like you’re more
humans people treat you like you’re more
humans people treat you like you’re more friendly open outgoing confident
friendly open outgoing confident
friendly open outgoing confident whatever sort of positive attribute they
whatever sort of positive attribute they
whatever sort of positive attribute they attribute to this physiology and when
attribute to this physiology and when
attribute to this physiology and when people treat you differently this as we
people treat you differently this as we
people treat you differently this as we know from science and research is the
know from science and research is the
know from science and research is the primary factor that influences behavior
primary factor that influences behavior
primary factor that influences behavior how you’re treated by your parents
how you’re treated by your parents
how you’re treated by your parents influences the way you grow up how
influences the way you grow up how
influences the way you grow up how you’re treated by your classmates
you’re treated by your classmates
you’re treated by your classmates influences the way that you socialize so
influences the way that you socialize so
influences the way that you socialize so if you change your physiology and people
if you change your physiology and people
if you change your physiology and people start treating me differently your
start treating me differently your
start treating me differently your behavior starts to change as well so
behavior starts to change as well so
behavior starts to change as well so it’s a virtuous cycle if people are
it’s a virtuous cycle if people are
it’s a virtuous cycle if people are treating you as an open friendly
treating you as an open friendly
treating you as an open friendly confident person then you start to
confident person then you start to
confident person then you start to behave
behave
behave more that way which also reinforces your
more that way which also reinforces your
more that way which also reinforces your new physiology which means that at some
new physiology which means that at some
new physiology which means that at some level at some stage in the next 3-4
level at some stage in the next 3-4
level at some stage in the next 3-4 weeks and few months after that you’re
weeks and few months after that you’re
weeks and few months after that you’re going to experience over time
going to experience over time
going to experience over time essentially an identity level shift a
essentially an identity level shift a
essentially an identity level shift a core level shift in who you think that
core level shift in who you think that
core level shift in who you think that you are and who you actually are instead
you are and who you actually are instead
you are and who you actually are instead of being the quiet meek person or
of being the quiet meek person or
of being the quiet meek person or instead of being somebody who’s maybe
instead of being somebody who’s maybe
instead of being somebody who’s maybe afraid to speak up or somebody who feels
afraid to speak up or somebody who feels
afraid to speak up or somebody who feels ill ADIZ and their own skin and
ill ADIZ and their own skin and
ill ADIZ and their own skin and networking events or in business
networking events or in business
networking events or in business meetings or in a dating scenario you
meetings or in a dating scenario you
meetings or in a dating scenario you start to be treated differently you
start to be treated differently you
start to be treated differently you start to act differently you start to be
start to act differently you start to be
start to act differently you start to be differently and this isn’t metaphysical
differently and this isn’t metaphysical
differently and this isn’t metaphysical baloney this is science fact physiology
baloney this is science fact physiology
baloney this is science fact physiology research sort of Amy Cuddy mixed with
research sort of Amy Cuddy mixed with
research sort of Amy Cuddy mixed with our to charm Tony Robbins ish type stuff
our to charm Tony Robbins ish type stuff
our to charm Tony Robbins ish type stuff in here science base is what we like to
in here science base is what we like to
in here science base is what we like to stick with and so the doorway drill is
stick with and so the doorway drill is
stick with and so the doorway drill is very powerful because it requires
very powerful because it requires
very powerful because it requires basically no commitment other than a
basically no commitment other than a
basically no commitment other than a millisecond shift in your physiology
millisecond shift in your physiology
millisecond shift in your physiology every time you walk through a doorway
every time you walk through a doorway
every time you walk through a doorway and it will change the way that people
and it will change the way that people
and it will change the way that people deal with you and it will change the way
deal with you and it will change the way
deal with you and it will change the way that you think about yourself and it
that you think about yourself and it
that you think about yourself and it changes your abilities in social
changes your abilities in social
changes your abilities in social situations and so that type of thing I
situations and so that type of thing I
situations and so that type of thing I think is a really really high leverage
think is a really really high leverage
think is a really really high leverage exercise that people can start doing
exercise that people can start doing
exercise that people can start doing right away and see results right away
right away and see results right away
right away and see results right away without like you know buying something
without like you know buying something
without like you know buying something or figuring out how to create this
or figuring out how to create this
or figuring out how to create this massive change in themselves manually
massive change in themselves manually
massive change in themselves manually which is very hard and basically
which is very hard and basically
which is very hard and basically impossible I love it so as I’m walking
impossible I love it so as I’m walking
impossible I love it so as I’m walking to a door when I leave it on a locked
to a door when I leave it on a locked
to a door when I leave it on a locked door one of the three to five to seven
door one of the three to five to seven
door one of the three to five to seven things that I need to do with my
things that I need to do with my
things that I need to do with my physiology I don’t have that coffin so
physiology I don’t have that coffin so
physiology I don’t have that coffin so the recap is essentially that stand up
the recap is essentially that stand up
the recap is essentially that stand up straight chest up shoulders back chin up
straight chest up shoulders back chin up
straight chest up shoulders back chin up smile on your face and it’s harder to do
smile on your face and it’s harder to do
smile on your face and it’s harder to do when talking because it does look more
when talking because it does look more
when talking because it does look more ridiculous right it looks like a very
ridiculous right it looks like a very
ridiculous right it looks like a very fake news presenter but it won’t look
fake news presenter but it won’t look
fake news presenter but it won’t look fake if you simply change the way that
fake if you simply change the way that
fake if you simply change the way that your physiology works because you’re not
your physiology works because you’re not
your physiology works because you’re not again don’t exaggerate this too much
again don’t exaggerate this too much
again don’t exaggerate this too much because you don’t want to feel goofy
because you don’t want to feel goofy
because you don’t want to feel goofy doing it you just want to straighten up
doing it you just want to straighten up
doing it you just want to straighten up it’s like don’t overthink it right just
it’s like don’t overthink it right just
it’s like don’t overthink it right just get out of hunched over computer all day
get out of hunched over computer all day
get out of hunched over computer all day mode which is where most of us are and
mode which is where most of us are and
mode which is where most of us are and get into the mode where your eyes are
get into the mode where your eyes are
get into the mode where your eyes are actually up and your chest is actually
actually up and your chest is actually
actually up and your chest is actually up and no arms crossed that’s kind of
up and no arms crossed that’s kind of
up and no arms crossed that’s kind of the rule
the rule
the rule you’d be surprised most people don’t
you’d be surprised most people don’t
you’d be surprised most people don’t walk with their arms crossed but many
walk with their arms crossed but many
walk with their arms crossed but many people sit with their arms crossed and
people sit with their arms crossed and
people sit with their arms crossed and regardless of whether you’re just cold
regardless of whether you’re just cold
regardless of whether you’re just cold or you’re feeling a little nervous
or you’re feeling a little nervous
or you’re feeling a little nervous it just signals to other people look
it just signals to other people look
it just signals to other people look this person is not in the mood right now
this person is not in the mood right now
this person is not in the mood right now and so we want to encourage interaction
and so we want to encourage interaction
and so we want to encourage interaction with us we want to encourage iContact we
with us we want to encourage iContact we
with us we want to encourage iContact we want to encourage a positive outlook and
want to encourage a positive outlook and
want to encourage a positive outlook and from other people towards us and the way
from other people towards us and the way
from other people towards us and the way that we do that is really simple signals
that we do that is really simple signals
that we do that is really simple signals your physiology that’s really it works
your physiology that’s really it works
your physiology that’s really it works for men and women it’s not about being a
for men and women it’s not about being a
for men and women it’s not about being a tough guy it’s just about straightening
tough guy it’s just about straightening
tough guy it’s just about straightening up so you don’t have to worry like oh I
up so you don’t have to worry like oh I
up so you don’t have to worry like oh I didn’t I did my my shoulders back but I
didn’t I did my my shoulders back but I
didn’t I did my my shoulders back but I didn’t do my chin up high enough like
didn’t do my chin up high enough like
didn’t do my chin up high enough like just don’t overthink it that’s the
just don’t overthink it that’s the
just don’t overthink it that’s the number one rule got it and I’m so if
number one rule got it and I’m so if
number one rule got it and I’m so if people are standing like this and then
people are standing like this and then
people are standing like this and then they’re thinking okay oh Jordan said I
they’re thinking okay oh Jordan said I
they’re thinking okay oh Jordan said I can’t cut my arm what am I supposed to
can’t cut my arm what am I supposed to
can’t cut my arm what am I supposed to do now where do I arms right I can see
do now where do I arms right I can see
do now where do I arms right I can see people being self-conscious oh yes
people being self-conscious oh yes
people being self-conscious oh yes that’s a resident that’s a great
that’s a resident that’s a great
that’s a resident that’s a great question it’s probably the most common
question it’s probably the most common
question it’s probably the most common question is oh shoot I always stand
question is oh shoot I always stand
question is oh shoot I always stand there with my arms crossed what do I do
there with my arms crossed what do I do
there with my arms crossed what do I do with my hands now and so I tell the
with my hands now and so I tell the
with my hands now and so I tell the answer is whatever you want however
answer is whatever you want however
answer is whatever you want however that’s a terrible answer for somebody
that’s a terrible answer for somebody
that’s a terrible answer for somebody who’s got an engineer brain for example
who’s got an engineer brain for example
who’s got an engineer brain for example because they’re just like no whatever I
because they’re just like no whatever I
because they’re just like no whatever I want know what’s the right answer this
want know what’s the right answer this
want know what’s the right answer this question right I was a good student I
question right I was a good student I
question right I was a good student I need the right answer this question and
need the right answer this question and
need the right answer this question and so I would say either if you’re if
so I would say either if you’re if
so I would say either if you’re if you’re holding something in one hand and
you’re holding something in one hand and
you’re holding something in one hand and find just had the other hand in your
find just had the other hand in your
find just had the other hand in your pocket with your thumb out that way
pocket with your thumb out that way
pocket with your thumb out that way you’re not tempted to do something weird
you’re not tempted to do something weird
you’re not tempted to do something weird in your pocket that looks awkward just
in your pocket that looks awkward just
in your pocket that looks awkward just you know fingers in thumb out or you can
you know fingers in thumb out or you can
you know fingers in thumb out or you can just have your hands resting kind of
just have your hands resting kind of
just have your hands resting kind of like this or like this you know just
like this or like this you know just
like this or like this you know just clamps and just have them in front of
clamps and just have them in front of
clamps and just have them in front of yourself it’s still a little bit closed
yourself it’s still a little bit closed
yourself it’s still a little bit closed its not super ideal but it’s certainly
its not super ideal but it’s certainly
its not super ideal but it’s certainly better than this
better than this
better than this and the what I’m trying to stay away
and the what I’m trying to stay away
and the what I’m trying to stay away from here is making people self
from here is making people self
from here is making people self conscious about what they’re doing even
conscious about what they’re doing even
conscious about what they’re doing even and now that they’re straightened up
and now that they’re straightened up
and now that they’re straightened up because the truth is it’s just as easy
because the truth is it’s just as easy
because the truth is it’s just as easy to look awkward
to look awkward
to look awkward if by doing something like this while
if by doing something like this while
if by doing something like this while being straight up and then just trying
being straight up and then just trying
being straight up and then just trying to look like a tough guy or feeling that
to look like a tough guy or feeling that
to look like a tough guy or feeling that you’re being perceived that way so
you’re being perceived that way so
you’re being perceived that way so whatever you do with your hands is
whatever you do with your hands is
whatever you do with your hands is probably fine
probably fine
probably fine it’s just a matter of having that open
it’s just a matter of having that open
it’s just a matter of having that open and positive body language and not being
and positive body language and not being
and positive body language and not being as fidgety so yeah if you’re used to
as fidgety so yeah if you’re used to
as fidgety so yeah if you’re used to doing this and then you find yourself
doing this and then you find yourself
doing this and then you find yourself doing a lot of you know this stuff
doing a lot of you know this stuff
doing a lot of you know this stuff all the time because you’re you’re not
all the time because you’re you’re not
all the time because you’re you’re not sure what to do the easiest thing that
sure what to do the easiest thing that
sure what to do the easiest thing that we teach the aoc students at workshops
we teach the aoc students at workshops
we teach the aoc students at workshops who really can’t stop fidgeting is just
who really can’t stop fidgeting is just
who really can’t stop fidgeting is just fingers and pockets but thumbs out that
fingers and pockets but thumbs out that
fingers and pockets but thumbs out that way it’s really hard to fidget it’s
way it’s really hard to fidget it’s
way it’s really hard to fidget it’s really also hard to do that thing where
really also hard to do that thing where
really also hard to do that thing where you have your hands in your pockets and
you have your hands in your pockets and
you have your hands in your pockets and you just look like you’re really
you just look like you’re really
you just look like you’re really suspicious because you’re you’re hiding
suspicious because you’re you’re hiding
suspicious because you’re you’re hiding something and then it ideally if you’re
something and then it ideally if you’re
something and then it ideally if you’re just hanging out at a networking event
just hanging out at a networking event
just hanging out at a networking event or a business meeting or something like
or a business meeting or something like
or a business meeting or something like that and you have coffee or a beverage
that and you have coffee or a beverage
that and you have coffee or a beverage you hold that in one hand and the other
you hold that in one hand and the other
you hold that in one hand and the other hand can either go in your pocket or
hand can either go in your pocket or
hand can either go in your pocket or just rest on a table it’s like I know
just rest on a table it’s like I know
just rest on a table it’s like I know that this sounds super super simple but
that this sounds super super simple but
that this sounds super super simple but if you start to look at what we do on a
if you start to look at what we do on a
if you start to look at what we do on a daily basis most of us it’s just were
daily basis most of us it’s just were
daily basis most of us it’s just were just all over the place we’re not
just all over the place we’re not
just all over the place we’re not thinking about it and we tend to wear
thinking about it and we tend to wear
thinking about it and we tend to wear our emotional state on our sleeves
our emotional state on our sleeves
our emotional state on our sleeves non-verbally which is the natural state
non-verbally which is the natural state
non-verbally which is the natural state of us as humans however if we look
of us as humans however if we look
of us as humans however if we look uncomfortable or unfriendly or scared
uncomfortable or unfriendly or scared
uncomfortable or unfriendly or scared when we do that it’s not doing us any
when we do that it’s not doing us any
when we do that it’s not doing us any favors and it’s making that first
favors and it’s making that first
favors and it’s making that first impression pretty a pretty poor first
impression pretty a pretty poor first
impression pretty a pretty poor first impression so let me ask you this this
impression so let me ask you this this
impression so let me ask you this this is interesting I will fidget a lot with
is interesting I will fidget a lot with
is interesting I will fidget a lot with my brain and it was both married I don’t
my brain and it was both married I don’t
my brain and it was both married I don’t know if you could use a lot but I’ll
know if you could use a lot but I’ll
know if you could use a lot but I’ll play with it as I’m thinking like I like
play with it as I’m thinking like I like
play with it as I’m thinking like I like to have something while I’m thinking or
to have something while I’m thinking or
to have something while I’m thinking or being creative not of not of a nervous
being creative not of not of a nervous
being creative not of not of a nervous like I’m afraid to meet this person and
like I’m afraid to meet this person and
like I’m afraid to meet this person and they’re like what do I do
they’re like what do I do
they’re like what do I do but but when I’m away from a
but but when I’m away from a
but but when I’m away from a brainstorming meeting or have a
brainstorming meeting or have a
brainstorming meeting or have a conversation somebody like the ring is
conversation somebody like the ring is
conversation somebody like the ring is coming up and I’m like looking around or
coming up and I’m like looking around or
coming up and I’m like looking around or so what what is it like I have in my
so what what is it like I have in my
so what what is it like I have in my stomach what is right what is that
stomach what is right what is that
stomach what is right what is that what’s that what are you thinking about
what’s that what are you thinking about
what’s that what are you thinking about that what’s the message I’m giving out
that what’s the message I’m giving out
that what’s the message I’m giving out like doing there
like doing there
like doing there I actually I haven’t seen it happened
I actually I haven’t seen it happened
I actually I haven’t seen it happened that much in real time but what that
that much in real time but what that
that much in real time but what that would signal to me is actually and what
would signal to me is actually and what
would signal to me is actually and what I think your brain is probably doing
I think your brain is probably doing
I think your brain is probably doing subconsciously is activating what’s
subconsciously is activating what’s
subconsciously is activating what’s called the default mode Network and tell
called the default mode Network and tell
called the default mode Network and tell me if this is true for you when you’re
me if this is true for you when you’re
me if this is true for you when you’re in the shower are you ever like oh my
in the shower are you ever like oh my
in the shower are you ever like oh my god that I’m so doing that that is such
god that I’m so doing that that is such
god that I’m so doing that that is such a good idea when you’re in the shower
a good idea when you’re in the shower
a good idea when you’re in the shower driving that generally kind of or maybe
driving that generally kind of or maybe
driving that generally kind of or maybe out for a walk those are kind of the
out for a walk those are kind of the
out for a walk those are kind of the three the top three idea generating
three the top three idea generating
three the top three idea generating things throughout history and if you
things throughout history and if you
things throughout history and if you look at famous people famous people I
look at famous people famous people I
look at famous people famous people I mean like famous inventors Edison
mean like famous inventors Edison
mean like famous inventors Edison Einstein Thoreau all these guys there’s
Einstein Thoreau all these guys there’s
Einstein Thoreau all these guys there’s a chart somewhere on the internet and I
a chart somewhere on the internet and I
a chart somewhere on the internet and I can try to find it or maybe
can try to find it or maybe
can try to find it or maybe one of us can try to find it it charts
one of us can try to find it it charts
one of us can try to find it it charts what their days were like and from their
what their days were like and from their
what their days were like and from their journals which of course all of these
journals which of course all of these
journals which of course all of these guys left back in the day it charts what
guys left back in the day it charts what
guys left back in the day it charts what their days were like and so every day a
their days were like and so every day a
their days were like and so every day a lot of these guys Tesla Edison they all
lot of these guys Tesla Edison they all
lot of these guys Tesla Edison they all took long walks anywhere from half an
took long walks anywhere from half an
took long walks anywhere from half an hour to three plus hours on any given
hour to three plus hours on any given
hour to three plus hours on any given day and that was a mandatory part of
day and that was a mandatory part of
day and that was a mandatory part of their routine and the reason was in
their routine and the reason was in
their routine and the reason was in retrospect of course they’re probably
retrospect of course they’re probably
retrospect of course they’re probably activating their default note mode
activating their default note mode
activating their default note mode Network which is their body’s doing
Network which is their body’s doing
Network which is their body’s doing something that’s taking up a certain
something that’s taking up a certain
something that’s taking up a certain percentage of their cognitive resources
percentage of their cognitive resources
percentage of their cognitive resources in order to manage you’re trying not to
in order to manage you’re trying not to
in order to manage you’re trying not to drop your ring you want to know where it
drop your ring you want to know where it
drop your ring you want to know where it is you’re you’re experiencing a certain
is you’re you’re experiencing a certain
is you’re you’re experiencing a certain feeling of having it on your thumb
feeling of having it on your thumb
feeling of having it on your thumb another feeling of having on your ring
another feeling of having on your ring
another feeling of having on your ring finger another feeling of having it on
finger another feeling of having it on
finger another feeling of having it on your pinky that is keeping the logical
your pinky that is keeping the logical
your pinky that is keeping the logical part of your brain the prefrontal cortex
part of your brain the prefrontal cortex
part of your brain the prefrontal cortex essentially busy enough so that the
essentially busy enough so that the
essentially busy enough so that the other parts of your brain which have
other parts of your brain which have
other parts of your brain which have hundred / thousands of times more
hundred / thousands of times more
hundred / thousands of times more processing power those things can then
processing power those things can then
processing power those things can then fire off without being corralled by the
fire off without being corralled by the
fire off without being corralled by the parts of your brain that want to make
parts of your brain that want to make
parts of your brain that want to make sure that
sure that
sure that oh the make sure the rings on the right
oh the make sure the rings on the right
oh the make sure the rings on the right finger make sure you don’t forget your
finger make sure you don’t forget your
finger make sure you don’t forget your coffee make sure you pick up the kids
coffee make sure you pick up the kids
coffee make sure you pick up the kids from school that stuff is all being
from school that stuff is all being
from school that stuff is all being taken up that’s all that processing
taken up that’s all that processing
taken up that’s all that processing power is being taken up and that’s why
power is being taken up and that’s why
power is being taken up and that’s why your brain can then come up with great
your brain can then come up with great
your brain can then come up with great ideas that’s why we come up with amazing
ideas that’s why we come up with amazing
ideas that’s why we come up with amazing ideas when driving and then we forget
ideas when driving and then we forget
ideas when driving and then we forget how we got home and then we come up with
how we got home and then we come up with
how we got home and then we come up with amazing ideas in the shower and we think
amazing ideas in the shower and we think
amazing ideas in the shower and we think did I wash my hair already I mean it
did I wash my hair already I mean it
did I wash my hair already I mean it depends it’s pretty soon I won’t have
depends it’s pretty soon I won’t have
depends it’s pretty soon I won’t have that problem but but it’ll be something
that problem but but it’ll be something
that problem but but it’ll be something else right at that point and so we’re
else right at that point and so we’re
else right at that point and so we’re activating that default mode network it
activating that default mode network it
activating that default mode network it depends on how you’re fidgeting if
depends on how you’re fidgeting if
depends on how you’re fidgeting if you’re fidgeting and you’re looking
you’re fidgeting and you’re looking
you’re fidgeting and you’re looking around and you’re micromanaging in your
around and you’re micromanaging in your
around and you’re micromanaging in your head how you’re being perceived by
head how you’re being perceived by
head how you’re being perceived by others that’s a lack of comfort in your
others that’s a lack of comfort in your
others that’s a lack of comfort in your own skin that’s going to put people off
own skin that’s going to put people off
own skin that’s going to put people off however if you’re just messing with your
however if you’re just messing with your
however if you’re just messing with your ring while you’re thinking about
ring while you’re thinking about
ring while you’re thinking about something very very natural and it’s
something very very natural and it’s
something very very natural and it’s actually probably helpful for your brain
actually probably helpful for your brain
actually probably helpful for your brain to to be creative while you’re doing
to to be creative while you’re doing
to to be creative while you’re doing that right I think I mean this whole
that right I think I mean this whole
that right I think I mean this whole time has been just been playing with the
time has been just been playing with the
time has been just been playing with the ring I was more I think it actually I
ring I was more I think it actually I
ring I was more I think it actually I think it definitely helps me I’m worried
think it definitely helps me I’m worried
think it definitely helps me I’m worried I’m not thinking how would people judge
I’m not thinking how would people judge
I’m not thinking how would people judge me I’m thinking though that I can bring
me I’m thinking though that I can bring
me I’m thinking though that I can bring it up like is that I still probably
it up like is that I still probably
it up like is that I still probably won’t change it anyway because I got to
won’t change it anyway because I got to
won’t change it anyway because I got to be me
be me
be me I’m wondering what the protection would
I’m wondering what the protection would
I’m wondering what the protection would be well if you’re not worrying about
be well if you’re not worrying about
be well if you’re not worrying about other people judging you you’re doing
other people judging you you’re doing
other people judging you you’re doing this and you’re fidgeting with your ring
this and you’re fidgeting with your ring
this and you’re fidgeting with your ring in order to come with creative ideas I’m
in order to come with creative ideas I’m
in order to come with creative ideas I’m saying don’t change it don’t change it
saying don’t change it don’t change it
saying don’t change it don’t change it here if you’re one of those people who
here if you’re one of those people who
here if you’re one of those people who like me I just constantly sit tea while
like me I just constantly sit tea while
like me I just constantly sit tea while I do the show and I’ll sip tea yeah
I do the show and I’ll sip tea yeah
I do the show and I’ll sip tea yeah and then I’ll put it down and then two
and then I’ll put it down and then two
and then I’ll put it down and then two seconds later I’ll sit more tea and I’ll
seconds later I’ll sit more tea and I’ll
seconds later I’ll sit more tea and I’ll just it’s almost like if you saw me
just it’s almost like if you saw me
just it’s almost like if you saw me doing this while I was not doing my show
doing this while I was not doing my show
doing this while I was not doing my show you might be like this guy’s so weird
you might be like this guy’s so weird
you might be like this guy’s so weird every time he puts his feet but I don’t
every time he puts his feet but I don’t
every time he puts his feet but I don’t worry about that I’m not even thinking
worry about that I’m not even thinking
worry about that I’m not even thinking about drinking the tea I’m usually I do
about drinking the tea I’m usually I do
about drinking the tea I’m usually I do it when I’m listening and not talking of
it when I’m listening and not talking of
it when I’m listening and not talking of course yeah so suggest Hocking I’m
course yeah so suggest Hocking I’m
course yeah so suggest Hocking I’m sipping tea put it down to tea put it
sipping tea put it down to tea put it
sipping tea put it down to tea put it down but I’m processing what the guest
down but I’m processing what the guest
down but I’m processing what the guest is saying the whole time and that’s been
is saying the whole time and that’s been
is saying the whole time and that’s been very important to me when I don’t drink
very important to me when I don’t drink
very important to me when I don’t drink the tea when I don’t create something
the tea when I don’t create something
the tea when I don’t create something for my prefrontal cortex to do while the
for my prefrontal cortex to do while the
for my prefrontal cortex to do while the guest is talking I’ve found over the
guest is talking I’ve found over the
guest is talking I’ve found over the years that I end up going oh man I’m
years that I end up going oh man I’m
years that I end up going oh man I’m almost out of cough drops dammit what
almost out of cough drops dammit what
almost out of cough drops dammit what was he’s just talking about I forgot
was he’s just talking about I forgot
was he’s just talking about I forgot dang right I just end up with this weird
dang right I just end up with this weird
dang right I just end up with this weird kind of hyper brain that is not
kind of hyper brain that is not
kind of hyper brain that is not conducive to being a good listener so
conducive to being a good listener so
conducive to being a good listener so I’ve learned how to cope with that by
I’ve learned how to cope with that by
I’ve learned how to cope with that by figuring out how to keep that part of my
figuring out how to keep that part of my
figuring out how to keep that part of my brain busy and most creative types have
brain busy and most creative types have
brain busy and most creative types have done this that’s why you see creatives
done this that’s why you see creatives
done this that’s why you see creatives doing weird stuff all the time and some
doing weird stuff all the time and some
doing weird stuff all the time and some of the most creative people around
of the most creative people around
of the most creative people around unfortunately have issues with
unfortunately have issues with
unfortunately have issues with substances that also limit what that
substances that also limit what that
substances that also limit what that part of your brain can do because it’s
part of your brain can do because it’s
part of your brain can do because it’s driving them freakin crazy and it’s
driving them freakin crazy and it’s
driving them freakin crazy and it’s keeping their potential at bay
keeping their potential at bay
keeping their potential at bay unfortunately there are side effects
unfortunately there are side effects
unfortunately there are side effects that go along with alcohol and
that go along with alcohol and
that go along with alcohol and painkillers and things like that but the
painkillers and things like that but the
painkillers and things like that but the reason they start doing that stuff in
reason they start doing that stuff in
reason they start doing that stuff in the first place is largely because of
the first place is largely because of
the first place is largely because of that creative process and you hear
that creative process and you hear
that creative process and you hear creatives all the time say things like I
creatives all the time say things like I
creatives all the time say things like I just don’t feel like myself when I’m not
just don’t feel like myself when I’m not
just don’t feel like myself when I’m not able to insert you know vice here and so
able to insert you know vice here and so
able to insert you know vice here and so your your ring by comparison is a very
your your ring by comparison is a very
your your ring by comparison is a very healthy alternative to mess Eero and
healthy alternative to mess Eero and
healthy alternative to mess Eero and painkillers sleeping pills alcohol so go
painkillers sleeping pills alcohol so go
painkillers sleeping pills alcohol so go ahead and fit with the ring as much as
ahead and fit with the ring as much as
ahead and fit with the ring as much as you want it alright back to this doorway
you want it alright back to this doorway
you want it alright back to this doorway test I want it I want to understand it
test I want it I want to understand it
test I want it I want to understand it with the mind and I get the physiology
with the mind and I get the physiology
with the mind and I get the physiology leads to the confidence in the mind I’m
leads to the confidence in the mind I’m
leads to the confidence in the mind I’m wondering is there is that the only
wondering is there is that the only
wondering is there is that the only textures there also are you thinking
textures there also are you thinking
textures there also are you thinking something as you walk to the door is it
something as you walk to the door is it
something as you walk to the door is it like okay I’m happy and like are you
like okay I’m happy and like are you
like okay I’m happy and like are you telling yourself anything or the judge
telling yourself anything or the judge
telling yourself anything or the judge I’m going to I’m going to do the body
I’m going to I’m going to do the body
I’m going to I’m going to do the body thing and the body cream is how many
thing and the body cream is how many
thing and the body cream is how many minds is it that way yeah that’s a
minds is it that way yeah that’s a
minds is it that way yeah that’s a really good question actually there’s a
really good question actually there’s a
really good question actually there’s a one of those sort of Maxim’s here at AOC
one of those sort of Maxim’s here at AOC
one of those sort of Maxim’s here at AOC which is again there’s science behind
which is again there’s science behind
which is again there’s science behind this that I won’t really bore you all
this that I won’t really bore you all
this that I won’t really bore you all with right now the body follows the mind
with right now the body follows the mind
with right now the body follows the mind and the mind follows the body and this
and the mind follows the body and this
and the mind follows the body and this is like a very very simple kind of
is like a very very simple kind of
is like a very very simple kind of almost obvious truth that a lot of
almost obvious truth that a lot of
almost obvious truth that a lot of people don’t think about and so when we
people don’t think about and so when we
people don’t think about and so when we do have our physiology set up correctly
do have our physiology set up correctly
do have our physiology set up correctly we do tend to experience something in
we do tend to experience something in
we do tend to experience something in our brain that says all right I’m coming
our brain that says all right I’m coming
our brain that says all right I’m coming in I’m feeling good I’m feeling
in I’m feeling good I’m feeling
in I’m feeling good I’m feeling confident I’m feeling open it’s also
confident I’m feeling open it’s also
confident I’m feeling open it’s also conscious it’s not something that you
conscious it’s not something that you
conscious it’s not something that you have to tell yourself you shouldn’t
have to tell yourself you shouldn’t
have to tell yourself you shouldn’t worry about you shouldn’t worry about
worry about you shouldn’t worry about
worry about you shouldn’t worry about like getting yourself all jazzed up to
like getting yourself all jazzed up to
like getting yourself all jazzed up to go walk into Starbucks it’s really not
go walk into Starbucks it’s really not
go walk into Starbucks it’s really not necessary you can if you want to if you
necessary you can if you want to if you
necessary you can if you want to if you find that it helps sure give yourself a
find that it helps sure give yourself a
find that it helps sure give yourself a pep talk every time you walk through the
pep talk every time you walk through the
pep talk every time you walk through the door it might be helpful to sort of
door it might be helpful to sort of
door it might be helpful to sort of reduce it to maybe one word where you
reduce it to maybe one word where you
reduce it to maybe one word where you just say something like you know open or
just say something like you know open or
just say something like you know open or or positive or whatever you can just say
or positive or whatever you can just say
or positive or whatever you can just say your name I you just like Evan right I’m
your name I you just like Evan right I’m
your name I you just like Evan right I’m in Evan mode now I’m upright I’m
in Evan mode now I’m upright I’m
in Evan mode now I’m upright I’m confident I’m happy I got my smile on my
confident I’m happy I got my smile on my
confident I’m happy I got my smile on my face that’s fine it can just be symbolic
face that’s fine it can just be symbolic
face that’s fine it can just be symbolic our brains are really good with
our brains are really good with
our brains are really good with symbolism so if you’re going to create
symbolism so if you’re going to create
symbolism so if you’re going to create that doorway drill and you want to sort
that doorway drill and you want to sort
that doorway drill and you want to sort of have a mantra word that you’re
of have a mantra word that you’re
of have a mantra word that you’re repeating your head when you go through
repeating your head when you go through
repeating your head when you go through every door then go for it I personally
every door then go for it I personally
every door then go for it I personally don’t use it that much but a lot of aoc
don’t use it that much but a lot of aoc
don’t use it that much but a lot of aoc students do use it especially the guys
students do use it especially the guys
students do use it especially the guys and girls that have engineer brains
and girls that have engineer brains
and girls that have engineer brains where it’s like they need to flip a
where it’s like they need to flip a
where it’s like they need to flip a switch and it can’t just be a subtle
switch and it can’t just be a subtle
switch and it can’t just be a subtle physiology thing it’s got to be like
physiology thing it’s got to be like
physiology thing it’s got to be like alright I’m in this mode now that it’s
alright I’m in this mode now that it’s
alright I’m in this mode now that it’s got to be something logical that takes
got to be something logical that takes
got to be something logical that takes them into a different mode and if that
them into a different mode and if that
them into a different mode and if that helps you then definitely go for it but
helps you then definitely go for it but
helps you then definitely go for it but do avoid you avoid the self-talk where
do avoid you avoid the self-talk where
do avoid you avoid the self-talk where you go okay I’m walking in here this I’m
you go okay I’m walking in here this I’m
you go okay I’m walking in here this I’m going to be upright and Oh Mike you know
going to be upright and Oh Mike you know
going to be upright and Oh Mike you know there’s a lot of people in here so I got
there’s a lot of people in here so I got
there’s a lot of people in here so I got to make sure that I did it because that
to make sure that I did it because that
to make sure that I did it because that can spiral into what we call being in
can spiral into what we call being in
can spiral into what we call being in your head
your head
your head which is worrying a lot about how you’re
which is worrying a lot about how you’re
which is worrying a lot about how you’re perceived by others which is the actual
perceived by others which is the actual
perceived by others which is the actual opposite of what the doorway drill is
opposite of what the doorway drill is
opposite of what the doorway drill is supposed to accomplish does that make
supposed to accomplish does that make
supposed to accomplish does that make sense yeah absolutely people in the live
sense yeah absolutely people in the live
sense yeah absolutely people in the live chat are first holder loving you bought
chat are first holder loving you bought
chat are first holder loving you bought the comment to like this guy but also
the comment to like this guy but also
the comment to like this guy but also they’re they’re laughing because my book
they’re they’re laughing because my book
they’re they’re laughing because my book is called your one word telling like oh
is called your one word telling like oh
is called your one word telling like oh yeah words oh these that was a little
yeah words oh these that was a little
yeah words oh these that was a little conscious thing
conscious thing
conscious thing Thanks parallel I think of just doctor
Thanks parallel I think of just doctor
Thanks parallel I think of just doctor matrix on Regis and every time he left
matrix on Regis and every time he left
matrix on Regis and every time he left his office to go into like studio mode
his office to go into like studio mode
his office to go into like studio mode he would also touch the top of the door
he would also touch the top of the door
he would also touch the top of the door yeah and so is that you efforts
yeah and so is that you efforts
yeah and so is that you efforts incorporate that like if you’re walking
incorporate that like if you’re walking
incorporate that like if you’re walking through like a physical reminder like
through like a physical reminder like
through like a physical reminder like touch the sizes or touch the top of the
touch the sizes or touch the top of the
touch the sizes or touch the top of the door and that fits you up or I can you
door and that fits you up or I can you
door and that fits you up or I can you can I mean the the the reason I think
can I mean the the the reason I think
can I mean the the the reason I think that he may have done that and it’s it’s
that he may have done that and it’s it’s
that he may have done that and it’s it’s funny I haven’t seen that documentary
funny I haven’t seen that documentary
funny I haven’t seen that documentary but I definitely want to check it out
but I definitely want to check it out
but I definitely want to check it out he’s a funny guy I’ve seen him a lot
he’s a funny guy I’ve seen him a lot
he’s a funny guy I’ve seen him a lot because I used to work at Sirius XM
because I used to work at Sirius XM
because I used to work at Sirius XM satellite radio and he was in there and
satellite radio and he was in there and
satellite radio and he was in there and I remember one I actually remember one
I remember one I actually remember one
I remember one I actually remember one time I was going to the bathroom before
time I was going to the bathroom before
time I was going to the bathroom before my show when we were doing it live in
my show when we were doing it live in
my show when we were doing it live in Times Square and I’m going to the
Times Square and I’m going to the
Times Square and I’m going to the bathroom and I looked next to me and I
bathroom and I looked next to me and I
bathroom and I looked next to me and I see I look over there’s this like you
see I look over there’s this like you
see I look over there’s this like you know shorter guy and I looked like oh hi
know shorter guy and I looked like oh hi
know shorter guy and I looked like oh hi how you doing you know the polite urinal
how you doing you know the polite urinal
how you doing you know the polite urinal small talk and he goes hiya Dylan and I
small talk and he goes hiya Dylan and I
small talk and he goes hiya Dylan and I was just like oh my god it’s Regis
was just like oh my god it’s Regis
was just like oh my god it’s Regis Philbin protects me and man is he can
Philbin protects me and man is he can
Philbin protects me and man is he can for a guy who lives in New York really
for a guy who lives in New York really
for a guy who lives in New York really tan
tan
tan what would I lost my train so tapping
what would I lost my train so tapping
what would I lost my train so tapping the side of the door and things like
the side of the door and things like
the side of the door and things like that that will work especially if it’s
that that will work especially if it’s
that that will work especially if it’s always the same place I would avoid
always the same place I would avoid
always the same place I would avoid doing that like every time you walk into
doing that like every time you walk into
doing that like every time you walk into the airport
the airport
the airport Starbucks some random office because it
Starbucks some random office because it
Starbucks some random office because it can it can backfire on you I’ve
can it can backfire on you I’ve
can it can backfire on you I’ve definitely seen there in there times
definitely seen there in there times
definitely seen there in there times when you can’t do it and then you’re
when you can’t do it and then you’re
when you can’t do it and then you’re going to end up with a physiological
going to end up with a physiological
going to end up with a physiological hang but for example this studio I walk
hang but for example this studio I walk
hang but for example this studio I walk in here every time I walk in here I walk
in here every time I walk in here I walk
in here every time I walk in here I walk in pretty much the same way I turn on
in pretty much the same way I turn on
in pretty much the same way I turn on the studio lights I have a remote that
the studio lights I have a remote that
the studio lights I have a remote that turns on some of these other lights some
turns on some of these other lights some
turns on some of these other lights some of which are off that you can see behind
of which are off that you can see behind
of which are off that you can see behind me and I’ve got all my audio gear here
me and I’ve got all my audio gear here
me and I’ve got all my audio gear here that has there’s all this digital stuff
that has there’s all this digital stuff
that has there’s all this digital stuff but I got this analog stuff because it
but I got this analog stuff because it
but I got this analog stuff because it has
has
has just a jillion switches and I like
just a jillion switches and I like
just a jillion switches and I like flippin those switches and watching them
flippin those switches and watching them
flippin those switches and watching them warm up and hearing like the right I
warm up and hearing like the right I
warm up and hearing like the right I like that because that’s like alright
like that because that’s like alright
like that because that’s like alright this is happening we’re going on air and
this is happening we’re going on air and
this is happening we’re going on air and I find myself getting a burst of energy
I find myself getting a burst of energy
I find myself getting a burst of energy from that it’s a it’s a ritual humans
from that it’s a it’s a ritual humans
from that it’s a it’s a ritual humans are wired for ritual so I would say yes
are wired for ritual so I would say yes
are wired for ritual so I would say yes definitely do it if you get to your
definitely do it if you get to your
definitely do it if you get to your office and the first thing you do is
office and the first thing you do is
office and the first thing you do is make yourself a cup of tea and throw in
make yourself a cup of tea and throw in
make yourself a cup of tea and throw in a piece of Trident or something like
a piece of Trident or something like
a piece of Trident or something like that then that can be the ritual but it
that then that can be the ritual but it
that then that can be the ritual but it shouldn’t necessarily be something that
shouldn’t necessarily be something that
shouldn’t necessarily be something that you transport with you everywhere you go
you transport with you everywhere you go
you transport with you everywhere you go because if you can’t do it you end up
because if you can’t do it you end up
because if you can’t do it you end up with a little like an unflinching your
with a little like an unflinching your
with a little like an unflinching your head and you’ll worry about it even if
head and you’ll worry about it even if
head and you’ll worry about it even if subconsciously and also the other thing
subconsciously and also the other thing
subconsciously and also the other thing is it loses meaning if it’s something
is it loses meaning if it’s something
is it loses meaning if it’s something you do every time you walk through a
you do every time you walk through a
you do every time you walk through a doorway because the point of the doorway
doorway because the point of the doorway
doorway because the point of the doorway drill is your physiology is going to
drill is your physiology is going to
drill is your physiology is going to stay positive and it’s going to change
stay positive and it’s going to change
stay positive and it’s going to change the way that others perceive you but it
the way that others perceive you but it
the way that others perceive you but it doesn’t have to be you getting psyched
doesn’t have to be you getting psyched
doesn’t have to be you getting psyched up and so you shouldn’t need to psych
up and so you shouldn’t need to psych
up and so you shouldn’t need to psych yourself up every time you walk through
yourself up every time you walk through
yourself up every time you walk through a doorway it would be impossible to
a doorway it would be impossible to
a doorway it would be impossible to maintain that level of energy and
maintain that level of energy and
maintain that level of energy and emotion throughout the day so the drill
emotion throughout the day so the drill
emotion throughout the day so the drill would then lose meaning the gesture of
would then lose meaning the gesture of
would then lose meaning the gesture of tapping the door would lose meaning you
tapping the door would lose meaning you
tapping the door would lose meaning you see guys like like you said with Regis
see guys like like you said with Regis
see guys like like you said with Regis he taps the door doorway to a studio he
he taps the door doorway to a studio he
he taps the door doorway to a studio he probably doesn’t do that when he walks
probably doesn’t do that when he walks
probably doesn’t do that when he walks into the can right he’s probably like I
into the can right he’s probably like I
into the can right he’s probably like I rented this is this is business as usual
rented this is this is business as usual
rented this is this is business as usual the other things on camera in front of a
the other things on camera in front of a
the other things on camera in front of a million people one is decidedly more
million people one is decidedly more
million people one is decidedly more important than the other you guys have
important than the other you guys have
important than the other you guys have you guys have witnesses did he touch the
you guys have witnesses did he touch the
you guys have witnesses did he touch the door Jordan I know now I’m like did he
door Jordan I know now I’m like did he
door Jordan I know now I’m like did he touch the ribbon in I don’t know I don’t
touch the ribbon in I don’t know I don’t
touch the ribbon in I don’t know I don’t know if he tapped the side of the door
know if he tapped the side of the door
know if he tapped the side of the door cooling well it’s amazing how quickly
cooling well it’s amazing how quickly
cooling well it’s amazing how quickly half an hour
half an hour
half an hour flies by oh my gosh really appreciate
flies by oh my gosh really appreciate
flies by oh my gosh really appreciate the love energy for people who want to
the love energy for people who want to
the love energy for people who want to find out more about your doing your
find out more about your doing your
find out more about your doing your school podcast where they going sure so
school podcast where they going sure so
school podcast where they going sure so if people are listening to podcast which
if people are listening to podcast which
if people are listening to podcast which I encourage of course you can find the
I encourage of course you can find the
I encourage of course you can find the art of charm podcast and iTunes or any
art of charm podcast and iTunes or any
art of charm podcast and iTunes or any podcast player or just go to the art of
podcast player or just go to the art of
podcast player or just go to the art of charm comm and of course it’s on
charm comm and of course it’s on
charm comm and of course it’s on SoundCloud and YouTube and all that but
SoundCloud and YouTube and all that but
SoundCloud and YouTube and all that but it is audio only which is good because I
it is audio only which is good because I
it is audio only which is good because I want people to absorb it and not just be
want people to absorb it and not just be
want people to absorb it and not just be watching my shiny forehead here in
watching my shiny forehead here in
watching my shiny forehead here in studio I love it georgg so much value
studio I love it georgg so much value
studio I love it georgg so much value really appreciate it thank you guys so
really appreciate it thank you guys so
really appreciate it thank you guys so much for watching
much for watching
much for watching continue to believe and we’ll see you
continue to believe and we’ll see you
continue to believe and we’ll see you soon
”
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