I love April Fool’s I tell you a funny story to know if you crack up that’s
story to know if you crack up that’s
story to know if you crack up that’s when I lose it okay okay don’t worry
when I lose it okay okay don’t worry
when I lose it okay okay don’t worry okay we’ll stay this one hombre someone
okay we’ll stay this one hombre someone
okay we’ll stay this one hombre someone sent you it’s worker gram okay but let’s
sent you it’s worker gram okay but let’s
sent you it’s worker gram okay but let’s get to twerking and what’s up Oh God
get to twerking and what’s up Oh God
get to twerking and what’s up Oh God and if you look at the crest you’ll
and if you look at the crest you’ll
and if you look at the crest you’ll notice that under this hallowed word
notice that under this hallowed word
notice that under this hallowed word there are three bunches of asparagus Wow
there are three bunches of asparagus Wow
there are three bunches of asparagus Wow how’s the fool again yeah you know when
how’s the fool again yeah you know when
how’s the fool again yeah you know when you’re a kid you like all one day I’m
you’re a kid you like all one day I’m
you’re a kid you like all one day I’m gonna be signing all these girls and
gonna be signing all these girls and
gonna be signing all these girls and them nope not me I think roots
them nope not me I think roots
them nope not me I think roots I wasn’t ready pleasure
I love April Fool’s but the thing about
I love April Fool’s but the thing about it is is I love doing but my April
it is is I love doing but my April
it is is I love doing but my April Fool’s runs the entire year I see yes
Fool’s runs the entire year I see yes
Fool’s runs the entire year I see yes yeah because it’s like April Fool’s
yeah because it’s like April Fool’s
yeah because it’s like April Fool’s everyone’s expecting it so this past
everyone’s expecting it so this past
everyone’s expecting it so this past around Christmastime we’re getting ready
around Christmastime we’re getting ready
around Christmastime we’re getting ready to make a big announcement for a movie
to make a big announcement for a movie
to make a big announcement for a movie and I called my agent I was I was over
and I called my agent I was I was over
and I called my agent I was I was over season I call my agent Brad Slater woke
season I call my agent Brad Slater woke
season I call my agent Brad Slater woke him up in the middle of the night and I
him up in the middle of the night and I
him up in the middle of the night and I was like hey man I got to talk to his
was like hey man I got to talk to his
was like hey man I got to talk to his like what’s going on what’s wrong I said
like what’s going on what’s wrong I said
like what’s going on what’s wrong I said I don’t know how it happened but my
I don’t know how it happened but my
I don’t know how it happened but my cousin who was on tour with us I said
cousin who was on tour with us I said
cousin who was on tour with us I said just got busted with prostitutes and my
just got busted with prostitutes and my
just got busted with prostitutes and my name is attached to it now and it’s all
name is attached to it now and it’s all
name is attached to it now and it’s all getting ready to hit the press he
getting ready to hit the press he
getting ready to hit the press he started freaking out I was like Brad are
started freaking out I was like Brad are
started freaking out I was like Brad are you okay he was getting emotional oh my
you okay he was getting emotional oh my
you okay he was getting emotional oh my god what are we gonna do okay hold on
god what are we gonna do okay hold on
god what are we gonna do okay hold on and he goes I’m gonna be calm in the
and he goes I’m gonna be calm in the
and he goes I’m gonna be calm in the pocket I’m thinking about this hold on
pocket I’m thinking about this hold on
pocket I’m thinking about this hold on and I was like I don’t know what to do I
and I was like I don’t know what to do I
and I was like I don’t know what to do I think there’s multiple prostitutes with
think there’s multiple prostitutes with
think there’s multiple prostitutes with this thing there’s a whole ring over
this thing there’s a whole ring over
this thing there’s a whole ring over here it’s unbelievable
here it’s unbelievable
here it’s unbelievable had him going and going and going and
had him going and going and going and
had him going and going and going and finally I was like Oh Brad Brad Brad
finally I was like Oh Brad Brad Brad
finally I was like Oh Brad Brad Brad he’s like what I was like December Fool
you dig it it’s a like that and there
you dig it it’s a like that and there was a long time I had breakfast with
was a long time I had breakfast with
was a long time I had breakfast with Archbishop Desmond Tutu and lunch with
Archbishop Desmond Tutu and lunch with
Archbishop Desmond Tutu and lunch with Nelson Mandela Wow
Nelson Mandela Wow
Nelson Mandela Wow and actually when he came to the state
and actually when he came to the state
and actually when he came to the state yeah the last time he came came to
yeah the last time he came came to
yeah the last time he came came to California came to our house well that’s
California came to our house well that’s
California came to our house well that’s pretty good I tell you a funny story too
pretty good I tell you a funny story too
pretty good I tell you a funny story too it would be mad at me for telling this
it would be mad at me for telling this
it would be mad at me for telling this but I’ll tell it anyway yeah it’s the
but I’ll tell it anyway yeah it’s the
but I’ll tell it anyway yeah it’s the bestest alone he lives up and they were
bestest alone he lives up and they were
bestest alone he lives up and they were like in a gated community he lives over
like in a gated community he lives over
like in a gated community he lives over there and he wasn’t invited but we had
there and he wasn’t invited but we had
there and he wasn’t invited but we had about maybe 40 50 people there you know
about maybe 40 50 people there you know
about maybe 40 50 people there you know and I had my children I said you can
and I had my children I said you can
and I had my children I said you can invite one friend and Oprah Winfrey
invite one friend and Oprah Winfrey
invite one friend and Oprah Winfrey different people were there and the
different people were there and the
different people were there and the security I have security helicopters
security I have security helicopters
security I have security helicopters like it was the president yeah they’re
like it was the president yeah they’re
like it was the president yeah they’re like mr. Washington Rockies out front
like mr. Washington Rockies out front
like mr. Washington Rockies out front he’s pacing
so we he’s like should we let him in I’m
so we he’s like should we let him in I’m like yeah that’s the best
like yeah that’s the best
like yeah that’s the best without looking sad yeah
oh boy good do you train really hard in
oh boy good do you train really hard in the off season can you give me any tips
the off season can you give me any tips
the off season can you give me any tips anything you can talk about oh it’s a
anything you can talk about oh it’s a
anything you can talk about oh it’s a whole town and I don’t work I just sit
whole town and I don’t work I just sit
whole town and I don’t work I just sit on the couch you you thought you had
on the couch you you thought you had
on the couch you you thought you had something going right that you were one
something going right that you were one
something going right that you were one of those like was Linda that you know
of those like was Linda that you know
of those like was Linda that you know made us generation work hard not with me
made us generation work hard not with me
made us generation work hard not with me anyway I didn’t get inspired no all I do
anyway I didn’t get inspired no all I do
anyway I didn’t get inspired no all I do is really just take care of the kids you
is really just take care of the kids you
is really just take care of the kids you know I won’t say no if Andy Murray
know I won’t say no if Andy Murray
know I won’t say no if Andy Murray decides now all right he’s a nice guy
decides now all right he’s a nice guy
decides now all right he’s a nice guy ROG he’s a father and let’s I won’t
he’d like to win the first four British
he’d like to win the first four British Tennyson’s what is 850,000 years so I’m
Tennyson’s what is 850,000 years so I’m
Tennyson’s what is 850,000 years so I’m just happy waking up in the morning and
just happy waking up in the morning and
just happy waking up in the morning and feeling like an old man so that’s very
feeling like an old man so that’s very
feeling like an old man so that’s very positive felt like you’re looking right
positive felt like you’re looking right
positive felt like you’re looking right at me when you say that thanks buddy
at me when you say that thanks buddy
at me when you say that thanks buddy appreciate that you know that old little
appreciate that you know that old little
appreciate that you know that old little house he hittin him he warmed me up and
house he hittin him he warmed me up and
house he hittin him he warmed me up and I won I still think the interview was
I won I still think the interview was
I won I still think the interview was great
great
great but then I needed Roger to stick around
but then I needed Roger to stick around
but then I needed Roger to stick around so I could ask a few questions in
so I could ask a few questions in
so I could ask a few questions in Spanish for a CNN in espanol programming
Spanish for a CNN in espanol programming
Spanish for a CNN in espanol programming does you don’t have to do anything I’m
does you don’t have to do anything I’m
does you don’t have to do anything I’m just gonna read out some questions on
just gonna read out some questions on
just gonna read out some questions on Spanish just a couple of questions while
Spanish just a couple of questions while
Spanish just a couple of questions while while you’re in shot okay um I don’t
while you’re in shot okay um I don’t
while you’re in shot okay um I don’t need to answer them no you don’t need to
need to answer them no you don’t need to
need to answer them no you don’t need to answer them at all here we go rooster
answer them at all here we go rooster
answer them at all here we go rooster this one hombre right on yeah no it’s
this one hombre right on yeah no it’s
this one hombre right on yeah no it’s okay I can I can keep going even if
okay I can I can keep going even if
okay I can I can keep going even if you’re smiling that’s when I lose it
you’re smiling that’s when I lose it
you’re smiling that’s when I lose it okay that’s why
Challenge Sargam challenge Bill Gates my
Challenge Sargam challenge Bill Gates my partner Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg and
partner Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg and
partner Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg and Netflix is founder and CEO Reed Hastings
I’m glad to give to ALS it’s a great
I’m glad to give to ALS it’s a great cause but I want to accept this
cause but I want to accept this
cause but I want to accept this challenge I want to do it better than
challenge I want to do it better than
challenge I want to do it better than it’s been done I’ve been working on this
it’s been done I’ve been working on this
it’s been done I’ve been working on this you know got this design there we go
you know got this design there we go
you know got this design there we go yeah it’s gonna be great
I’m here to join the people bringing
I’m here to join the people bringing attention to Lou Gehrig’s disease by
attention to Lou Gehrig’s disease by
attention to Lou Gehrig’s disease by taking the ALS ice bucket challenge I’m
taking the ALS ice bucket challenge I’m
taking the ALS ice bucket challenge I’m gonna challenge three more people Elon
gonna challenge three more people Elon
gonna challenge three more people Elon Musk Ryan Seacrest and Chris Anderson of
Musk Ryan Seacrest and Chris Anderson of
Musk Ryan Seacrest and Chris Anderson of Ted consider yourself challenged you
Ted consider yourself challenged you
Ted consider yourself challenged you have 24 hours good luck
it’s at the Sun cuz he’s my best friend
it’s at the Sun cuz he’s my best friend he’s my best friend
is it true that you can leap over a
is it true that you can leap over a chair from a standing position it
chair from a standing position it
chair from a standing position it depends on the size of the chair I’ll
depends on the size of the chair I’ll
depends on the size of the chair I’ll cheat a little bit
gentlemen the movie is testing through
gentlemen the movie is testing through the roof we’re gonna have ourselves a
the roof we’re gonna have ourselves a
the roof we’re gonna have ourselves a hit right I just want to say it’s all
hit right I just want to say it’s all
hit right I just want to say it’s all thanks to this guy man I’ve loved
thanks to this guy man I’ve loved
thanks to this guy man I’ve loved working with you right straight up you
working with you right straight up you
working with you right straight up you know when we started this movie you and
know when we started this movie you and
know when we started this movie you and I were co-stars now you’re my brother
I were co-stars now you’re my brother
I were co-stars now you’re my brother all we need now is a title okay well why
all we need now is a title okay well why
all we need now is a title okay well why I mean best to keep it simple know it’s
I mean best to keep it simple know it’s
I mean best to keep it simple know it’s like Drake and Blake yeah we could cause
like Drake and Blake yeah we could cause
like Drake and Blake yeah we could cause yeah maybe but I also like Blake and
yeah maybe but I also like Blake and
yeah maybe but I also like Blake and Drake do we have a law
Drake do we have a law
Drake do we have a law Blake things like Oh or do we like
Blake things like Oh or do we like
Blake things like Oh or do we like genuinely love Drake and Blake like
genuinely love Drake and Blake like
genuinely love Drake and Blake like right when you hear it why don’t we just
right when you hear it why don’t we just
right when you hear it why don’t we just take the beginning of my name and the
take the beginning of my name and the
take the beginning of my name and the end of your name and just Blake BAM
end of your name and just Blake BAM
end of your name and just Blake BAM Blake just gets like it’s like hard to
Blake just gets like it’s like hard to
Blake just gets like it’s like hard to say you know it’s like black black and
say you know it’s like black black and
say you know it’s like black black and Drake what’s like Drake and Blake
Drake what’s like Drake and Blake
Drake what’s like Drake and Blake drinking bleh guys guys guys go hey you
drinking bleh guys guys guys go hey you
drinking bleh guys guys guys go hey you know what hey we have a week to make
know what hey we have a week to make
know what hey we have a week to make this decision I mean I’m sure something
this decision I mean I’m sure something
this decision I mean I’m sure something will happen to make Blake change his
will happen to make Blake change his
will happen to make Blake change his mind
mind
mind oh something’s gonna happen
oh something’s gonna happen
oh something’s gonna happen something’s gonna happen it’s all
hey cutie Hey
hey cutie Hey someone sent you its worker Graham okay
someone sent you its worker Graham okay
someone sent you its worker Graham okay well let’s get to 29 what’s up Oh God oh
well let’s get to 29 what’s up Oh God oh
well let’s get to 29 what’s up Oh God oh wait wait I thought this was a car
wait wait I thought this was a car
wait wait I thought this was a car commercial Steve the teller
commercial Steve the teller
commercial Steve the teller Slate’s up please and action
Slate’s up please and action
Slate’s up please and action there you go it’s a great day everyone’s
there you go it’s a great day everyone’s
there you go it’s a great day everyone’s happy and look back look at the horizon
happy and look back look at the horizon
happy and look back look at the horizon look at your career look what you’ve
look at your career look what you’ve
look at your career look what you’ve become who cut his hair for this that’s
become who cut his hair for this that’s
become who cut his hair for this that’s whatever all right once the anesthesia
whatever all right once the anesthesia
whatever all right once the anesthesia kicks in we will be removing the
kicks in we will be removing the
kicks in we will be removing the patient’s appendix but first there’s
patient’s appendix but first there’s
patient’s appendix but first there’s donuts in the kitchen guys what oh god
donuts in the kitchen guys what oh god
donuts in the kitchen guys what oh god you’re the surgeon oh I’m not the
you’re the surgeon oh I’m not the
you’re the surgeon oh I’m not the surgeon he is
Breezie the Internet has killed you for
Breezie the Internet has killed you for doing too much flapping how do you
doing too much flapping how do you
doing too much flapping how do you respond to your critics I would like to
respond to your critics I would like to
respond to your critics I would like to say as Blake Griffin that I love floppy
say as Blake Griffin that I love floppy
say as Blake Griffin that I love floppy you know I mean there’s so much demanded
you know I mean there’s so much demanded
you know I mean there’s so much demanded of me that you know a lot of the time
of me that you know a lot of the time
of me that you know a lot of the time it’s just better for me to fall down and
it’s just better for me to fall down and
it’s just better for me to fall down and take a little rest hey what’s up
take a little rest hey what’s up
take a little rest hey what’s up everybody I’m Drake and this message
everybody I’m Drake and this message
everybody I’m Drake and this message goes out to all of my fans you I really
goes out to all of my fans you I really
goes out to all of my fans you I really don’t have much integrity they try to
don’t have much integrity they try to
don’t have much integrity they try to get me to do the NBA Cares commercials
get me to do the NBA Cares commercials
get me to do the NBA Cares commercials and I always kindly decline you can
and I always kindly decline you can
and I always kindly decline you can climb the NBA Cares I’m not really I’m
climb the NBA Cares I’m not really I’m
climb the NBA Cares I’m not really I’m just not into children all right all
just not into children all right all
just not into children all right all right all right let me lay it down this
right all right let me lay it down this
right all right let me lay it down this is the new sound of Drake right here
is the new sound of Drake right here
is the new sound of Drake right here skee bop shoo bop bop bah bah bah I am
skee bop shoo bop bop bah bah bah I am
skee bop shoo bop bop bah bah bah I am drink and I like you girl I think a lot
drink and I like you girl I think a lot
drink and I like you girl I think a lot of people are extremely confused about
of people are extremely confused about
of people are extremely confused about my face I kind of look like a black guy
my face I kind of look like a black guy
my face I kind of look like a black guy that jumped into a pit of Cheetos and
that jumped into a pit of Cheetos and
that jumped into a pit of Cheetos and just laid there for for like 10 days and
just laid there for for like 10 days and
just laid there for for like 10 days and then popped up
I tell people I’m half-black but really
I tell people I’m half-black but really I don’t know do you know what team has
I don’t know do you know what team has
I don’t know do you know what team has the most white players because that’s
the most white players because that’s
the most white players because that’s probably where I want to go I’m not sure
probably where I want to go I’m not sure
probably where I want to go I’m not sure you’re gonna have a career after this
you’re gonna have a career after this
you’re gonna have a career after this and let’s print that I like it a lot I
and let’s print that I like it a lot I
and let’s print that I like it a lot I think that’s gonna be great I think it’s
think that’s gonna be great I think it’s
think that’s gonna be great I think it’s really gonna up my street cred so what
really gonna up my street cred so what
really gonna up my street cred so what do you think Donald Sterling’s message
do you think Donald Sterling’s message
do you think Donald Sterling’s message was that not all people are equal and I
was that not all people are equal and I
was that not all people are equal and I agree with it I’m actually glad this has
agree with it I’m actually glad this has
agree with it I’m actually glad this has been filmed
been filmed
been filmed anyway I’m Blake Griffin part of the
anyway I’m Blake Griffin part of the
anyway I’m Blake Griffin part of the dominant white race and I would just
dominant white race and I would just
dominant white race and I would just like to let so even now I have no idea
like to let so even now I have no idea
like to let so even now I have no idea why I was asked to speak here today I
why I was asked to speak here today I
why I was asked to speak here today I prepared to speech very carefully the
prepared to speech very carefully the
prepared to speech very carefully the way that any good Dartmouth educated
way that any good Dartmouth educated
way that any good Dartmouth educated graduate would I drank a 40 of
graduate would I drank a 40 of
graduate would I drank a 40 of Jagermeister then I called my dad to see
Jagermeister then I called my dad to see
Jagermeister then I called my dad to see if he would get me out of it he’s here
if he would get me out of it he’s here
if he would get me out of it he’s here today he could not get me out of it
today he could not get me out of it
today he could not get me out of it so I tried to hire a college freshman to
so I tried to hire a college freshman to
so I tried to hire a college freshman to write it for me in exchange for a two
write it for me in exchange for a two
write it for me in exchange for a two hundred dollar gift card to Newbury
hundred dollar gift card to Newbury
hundred dollar gift card to Newbury Comics that didn’t work out finally
Comics that didn’t work out finally
Comics that didn’t work out finally seeing that I absolutely had to do this
seeing that I absolutely had to do this
seeing that I absolutely had to do this and couldn’t get out of it rolled up my
and couldn’t get out of it rolled up my
and couldn’t get out of it rolled up my sleeves sat down at my computer and
sleeves sat down at my computer and
sleeves sat down at my computer and tried to buy a commencement address off
tried to buy a commencement address off
tried to buy a commencement address off of moving commencement speeches calm my
of moving commencement speeches calm my
of moving commencement speeches calm my credit card was declined so I had to
credit card was declined so I had to
credit card was declined so I had to write the thing myself and here we are
write the thing myself and here we are
write the thing myself and here we are today there are many many distinguished
today there are many many distinguished
today there are many many distinguished speakers who have spoken here today I am
speakers who have spoken here today I am
speakers who have spoken here today I am sharing the stage with Preet Bharara US
sharing the stage with Preet Bharara US
sharing the stage with Preet Bharara US Attorney for the Southern District of
Attorney for the Southern District of
Attorney for the Southern District of New York we’ve heard what a great guy he
New York we’ve heard what a great guy he
New York we’ve heard what a great guy he is in 2012 he was named by Time magazine
is in 2012 he was named by Time magazine
is in 2012 he was named by Time magazine as one of the 100 most influential
as one of the 100 most influential
as one of the 100 most influential people in the world which apparently
people in the world which apparently
people in the world which apparently they’re just giving out
they’re just giving out
they’re just giving out according to time he’s battled terrorism
according to time he’s battled terrorism
according to time he’s battled terrorism as evidenced by his conviction of the
as evidenced by his conviction of the
as evidenced by his conviction of the Time Square bomber he’s crippled
Time Square bomber he’s crippled
Time Square bomber he’s crippled international arms dealers drug
international arms dealers drug
international arms dealers drug traffickers and dealt with financial
traffickers and dealt with financial
traffickers and dealt with financial fraud clearly Harvard wanted you to see
fraud clearly Harvard wanted you to see
fraud clearly Harvard wanted you to see the full range of what India can produce
the full range of what India can produce
the full range of what India can produce dear mr. Brar fights finance criminals
dear mr. Brar fights finance criminals
dear mr. Brar fights finance criminals and terrorism
and terrorism
and terrorism I meet handsome men in cute in unusual
I meet handsome men in cute in unusual
I meet handsome men in cute in unusual ways on television and next season my
ways on television and next season my
ways on television and next season my character might get a pet puppy so is
character might get a pet puppy so is
character might get a pet puppy so is one more important than the other
one more important than the other
one more important than the other who can say the real reason I am here is
who can say the real reason I am here is
who can say the real reason I am here is as Connie said I am obsessed with
as Connie said I am obsessed with
as Connie said I am obsessed with justice not so much with the law but
justice not so much with the law but
justice not so much with the law but with justice actually in my mind law is
with justice actually in my mind law is
with justice actually in my mind law is that pesky thing that often gets in the
that pesky thing that often gets in the
that pesky thing that often gets in the way of justice
way of justice
way of justice I believe in the Clint Eastwood School
I believe in the Clint Eastwood School
I believe in the Clint Eastwood School of the law an eye for an eye I don’t
of the law an eye for an eye I don’t
of the law an eye for an eye I don’t think so that solves nothing
think so that solves nothing
think so that solves nothing you take my eye I take your life my
you take my eye I take your life my
you take my eye I take your life my friend okay in a duel Aaron Burr style I
friend okay in a duel Aaron Burr style I
friend okay in a duel Aaron Burr style I don’t want your stupid eye for what my
don’t want your stupid eye for what my
don’t want your stupid eye for what my eye collection you’re dead okay
eye collection you’re dead okay
eye collection you’re dead okay yes duels are the first thing that you
yes duels are the first thing that you
yes duels are the first thing that you learn when you enter my graduate program
learn when you enter my graduate program
learn when you enter my graduate program the harvard school of vengeance but
the harvard school of vengeance but
the harvard school of vengeance but again that is not what I came here to
again that is not what I came here to
again that is not what I came here to talk to you about that’s for the
talk to you about that’s for the
talk to you about that’s for the reception after we can talk about that
reception after we can talk about that
reception after we can talk about that more the Harvard Law School crest which
more the Harvard Law School crest which
more the Harvard Law School crest which you can see in front of you is um it has
you can see in front of you is um it has
you can see in front of you is um it has the word Veritas which means truth in
the word Veritas which means truth in
the word Veritas which means truth in Latin I know this because though I have
Latin I know this because though I have
Latin I know this because though I have been known as Mindy my whole life my
been known as Mindy my whole life my
been known as Mindy my whole life my first name is actually Vera which means
first name is actually Vera which means
first name is actually Vera which means also means truth it’s true it’s actually
also means truth it’s true it’s actually
also means truth it’s true it’s actually too boring to make that bag up and if
too boring to make that bag up and if
too boring to make that bag up and if you look at the crest you’ll notice that
you look at the crest you’ll notice that
you look at the crest you’ll notice that under this hallowed word there are three
under this hallowed word there are three
under this hallowed word there are three bunches of asparagus
because asparagus is the the tallest and
because asparagus is the the tallest and the proudest of the vegetables the
the proudest of the vegetables the
the proudest of the vegetables the pillar of the vegetable kingdom and it’s
pillar of the vegetable kingdom and it’s
pillar of the vegetable kingdom and it’s it’s liked a lot okay that is done that
it’s liked a lot okay that is done that
it’s liked a lot okay that is done that is not asparagus that is that it’s wheat
is not asparagus that is that it’s wheat
is not asparagus that is that it’s wheat which makes also not a ton of sounds
which makes also not a ton of sounds
which makes also not a ton of sounds either okay well that was like three
either okay well that was like three
either okay well that was like three pages of my C speech nope okay that was
pages of my C speech nope okay that was
pages of my C speech nope okay that was that’s a callback to asparagus I have
that’s a callback to asparagus I have
that’s a callback to asparagus I have this really funny run about hollandaise
this really funny run about hollandaise
this really funny run about hollandaise you’ll never get to hear that you know
you’ll never get to hear that you know
you’ll never get to hear that you know this isn’t going anywhere I’m gonna move
this isn’t going anywhere I’m gonna move
this isn’t going anywhere I’m gonna move past trying to make sense of your crust
past trying to make sense of your crust
past trying to make sense of your crust which makes no sense so I’m going to
which makes no sense so I’m going to
which makes no sense so I’m going to Montgomery to play called the promoter I
Montgomery to play called the promoter I
Montgomery to play called the promoter I said I’m broke down I said I don’t know
said I’m broke down I said I don’t know
said I’m broke down I said I don’t know how long it’s gonna take to fix it and
how long it’s gonna take to fix it and
how long it’s gonna take to fix it and it was about 2:30 or 3:00 o’clock for
it was about 2:30 or 3:00 o’clock for
it was about 2:30 or 3:00 o’clock for the evening then I said but I’m pretty
the evening then I said but I’m pretty
the evening then I said but I’m pretty sure that we’ll be late when we get that
sure that we’ll be late when we get that
sure that we’ll be late when we get that heat that’s alright B come on up there
heat that’s alright B come on up there
heat that’s alright B come on up there now you show come on come on
now you show come on come on
now you show come on come on so sure enough we were late when the bus
so sure enough we were late when the bus
so sure enough we were late when the bus got ready and we went on up there when
got ready and we went on up there when
got ready and we went on up there when we got there
we got there
we got there yeah that we had something you called it
yeah that we had something you called it
yeah that we had something you called it you don’t hear much about them today
you don’t hear much about them today
you don’t hear much about them today honorees only a lot of this honorees so
honorees only a lot of this honorees so
honorees only a lot of this honorees so the armory you started from the ground
the armory you started from the ground
the armory you started from the ground floor and you had to walk about 10 or 15
floor and you had to walk about 10 or 15
floor and you had to walk about 10 or 15 stairs and there was a platform like it
stairs and there was a platform like it
stairs and there was a platform like it so that’s what he was set to collect his
so that’s what he was set to collect his
so that’s what he was set to collect his tickets in the money and then you go
tickets in the money and then you go
tickets in the money and then you go about 10 or 15 more flows and there’s
about 10 or 15 more flows and there’s
about 10 or 15 more flows and there’s the the dance hall okay so when I got
the the dance hall okay so when I got
the the dance hall okay so when I got there I said well we made it easy Abbas
there I said well we made it easy Abbas
there I said well we made it easy Abbas you can turn around go back now because
you can turn around go back now because
you can turn around go back now because I know pay you gonna be this late easy
I know pay you gonna be this late easy
I know pay you gonna be this late easy well I have AZ in general but I said
well I have AZ in general but I said
well I have AZ in general but I said well since I’m here I have a you know a
well since I’m here I have a you know a
well since I’m here I have a you know a thing about being late I have a thing
thing about being late I have a thing
thing about being late I have a thing about
about
about you know standing up to people I said
you know standing up to people I said
you know standing up to people I said let me go on I’m play okay gonna be one
let me go on I’m play okay gonna be one
let me go on I’m play okay gonna be one of it I know pay us okay so we went on
of it I know pay us okay so we went on
of it I know pay us okay so we went on upstairs born we got on the dance floor
upstairs born we got on the dance floor
upstairs born we got on the dance floor and it was just people was just look
and it was just people was just look
and it was just people was just look like that packed in that while sure
like that packed in that while sure
like that packed in that while sure would like to have some of that money so
would like to have some of that money so
would like to have some of that money so we can upset and we started the plan and
we can upset and we started the plan and
we can upset and we started the plan and the people you know you couldn’t buy
the people you know you couldn’t buy
the people you know you couldn’t buy like a big chair you what they called a
like a big chair you what they called a
like a big chair you what they called a brown bagging carry okay your bottle
brown bagging carry okay your bottle
brown bagging carry okay your bottle with you Oh at the Armory they had
with you Oh at the Armory they had
with you Oh at the Armory they had places we could keep your bottle you
places we could keep your bottle you
places we could keep your bottle you know yeah when we got the plane and
know yeah when we got the plane and
know yeah when we got the plane and people started drinking a Yaqui doctor
people started drinking a Yaqui doctor
people started drinking a Yaqui doctor everything was going to it zapped I
everything was going to it zapped I
everything was going to it zapped I played about two or three people these
played about two or three people these
played about two or three people these days you know and they everybody was
days you know and they everybody was
days you know and they everybody was fired up man I said ladies and gentlemen
fired up man I said ladies and gentlemen
fired up man I said ladies and gentlemen so you know this is all be and I had
so you know this is all be and I had
so you know this is all be and I had never stood you up no be you always come
never stood you up no be you always come
never stood you up no be you always come in times yeah well I had something I’m
in times yeah well I had something I’m
in times yeah well I had something I’m sad to tell you but when I came upstairs
sad to tell you but when I came upstairs
sad to tell you but when I came upstairs the boss told me when won’t pay me
the boss told me when won’t pay me
the boss told me when won’t pay me everybody got quiet what
everybody got quiet what
everybody got quiet what so no he said he wasn’t gonna pay me and
so no he said he wasn’t gonna pay me and
so no he said he wasn’t gonna pay me and now I ain’t telling you what to do but I
now I ain’t telling you what to do but I
now I ain’t telling you what to do but I feel that if I’m play free he should be
feel that if I’m play free he should be
feel that if I’m play free he should be able to listen free you know San Diego
able to listen free you know San Diego
able to listen free you know San Diego famous and I love you plan hey y’all
famous and I love you plan hey y’all
famous and I love you plan hey y’all check on your money do a petition boy a
check on your money do a petition boy a
check on your money do a petition boy a little bit later the money went one way
little bit later the money went one way
little bit later the money went one way and a dude went the other again I was at
and a dude went the other again I was at
and a dude went the other again I was at the airport and these huge Irish dudes
the airport and these huge Irish dudes
the airport and these huge Irish dudes start pacing around me sounds like all
start pacing around me sounds like all
start pacing around me sounds like all right it’s gonna go down at the airport
right it’s gonna go down at the airport
right it’s gonna go down at the airport here we go and then go I I think they’re
here we go and then go I I think they’re
here we go and then go I I think they’re Australian so let me change the
Australian so let me change the
Australian so let me change the Australian action I you bro laws
they say could you sign on for arms I’m
they say could you sign on for arms I’m signing these like rugby players for
signing these like rugby players for
signing these like rugby players for arms and like yo that billionaire song
arms and like yo that billionaire song
arms and like yo that billionaire song you are legend oh my god signing page
you are legend oh my god signing page
you are legend oh my god signing page signed any other body parts in forward
signed any other body parts in forward
signed any other body parts in forward to that yeah you know when you’re a kid
to that yeah you know when you’re a kid
to that yeah you know when you’re a kid you like on one day I’m gonna be signing
you like on one day I’m gonna be signing
you like on one day I’m gonna be signing all these girls and them nope not me
all these girls and them nope not me
all these girls and them nope not me big brutes oh well you know I try to be
big brutes oh well you know I try to be
big brutes oh well you know I try to be an artist I moved up to California to be
an artist I moved up to California to be
an artist I moved up to California to be an artist so I’m writing these songs and
an artist so I’m writing these songs and
an artist so I’m writing these songs and they’re all for me never wanted to be a
they’re all for me never wanted to be a
they’re all for me never wanted to be a producer never thought about writing
producer never thought about writing
producer never thought about writing with other people for other people so
with other people for other people so
with other people for other people so I’m writing the song with me I got
I’m writing the song with me I got
I’m writing the song with me I got approached by a label that heard one of
approached by a label that heard one of
approached by a label that heard one of these songs and they said look we want
these songs and they said look we want
these songs and they said look we want this song for another artist we don’t
this song for another artist we don’t
this song for another artist we don’t want you know we don’t want to sign you
want you know we don’t want to sign you
want you know we don’t want to sign you we want to take your song and give it to
we want to take your song and give it to
we want to take your song and give it to another artist and at the time I was
another artist and at the time I was
another artist and at the time I was working a cab for the first time and you
working a cab for the first time and you
working a cab for the first time and you know as a songwriter she’s written you
know as a songwriter she’s written you
know as a songwriter she’s written you know so many hits and I talked to her I
know so many hits and I talked to her I
know so many hits and I talked to her I said Cara my music this is my music this
said Cara my music this is my music this
said Cara my music this is my music this is my art she looks at me she says stop
is my art she looks at me she says stop
is my art she looks at me she says stop being up she says no one knows who the
being up she says no one knows who the
being up she says no one knows who the hell you are
hell you are
hell you are you have no story sell your freaking
you have no story sell your freaking
you have no story sell your freaking song what is it through a song you’re
song what is it through a song you’re
song what is it through a song you’re ever doing yeah and so you did and I did
ever doing yeah and so you did and I did
ever doing yeah and so you did and I did and then that paid my rent and that got
and then that paid my rent and that got
and then that paid my rent and that got me to stab here and got me you know so I
me to stab here and got me you know so I
me to stab here and got me you know so I owe a lot to Kara DioGuardi and the
owe a lot to Kara DioGuardi and the
owe a lot to Kara DioGuardi and the writing credits that you are mounting
writing credits that you are mounting
writing credits that you are mounting since then she’s dead right yeah thank
since then she’s dead right yeah thank
since then she’s dead right yeah thank you care calling me in 1983 when we hit
you care calling me in 1983 when we hit
you care calling me in 1983 when we hit the eight percent saying I don’t know
the eight percent saying I don’t know
the eight percent saying I don’t know that I’ve ever told this story before
that I’ve ever told this story before
that I’ve ever told this story before but Sam Walton came down to my office
but Sam Walton came down to my office
but Sam Walton came down to my office and he said do you think anybody in the
and he said do you think anybody in the
and he said do you think anybody in the company remembers that I promise to do
company remembers that I promise to do
company remembers that I promise to do the who look we made 8% and I said
the who look we made 8% and I said
the who look we made 8% and I said everybody in the company remembers that
everybody in the company remembers that
everybody in the company remembers that and he says well you got me into it so
and he says well you got me into it so
and he says well you got me into it so you arrange it and don’t screw it up
you arrange it and don’t screw it up
you arrange it and don’t screw it up and and left well I had a trip that I
and and left well I had a trip that I
and and left well I had a trip that I had to make to to New York and so we got
had to make to to New York and so we got
had to make to to New York and so we got up there and we staged this thing and
up there and we staged this thing and
up there and we staged this thing and there was press from everywhere I’ve
there was press from everywhere I’ve
there was press from everywhere I’ve tried for three months what I thought
tried for three months what I thought
tried for three months what I thought for two months that it would actually
for two months that it would actually
for two months that it would actually happen but our numbers were just barely
happen but our numbers were just barely
happen but our numbers were just barely 8% pre-tax he’s going oh four and
8% pre-tax he’s going oh four and
8% pre-tax he’s going oh four and everyone in the company said mr. Walton
everyone in the company said mr. Walton
everyone in the company said mr. Walton you’ve got to before we did now you do
you’ve got to before we did now you do
you’ve got to before we did now you do it
I’m fulfilling an obligation to our
I’m fulfilling an obligation to our employees I wagered with him a year and
employees I wagered with him a year and
employees I wagered with him a year and a half ago that in the year 1983 they
a half ago that in the year 1983 they
a half ago that in the year 1983 they never could possibly achieve a better
never could possibly achieve a better
never could possibly achieve a better than 8% net profit corporately
yah-ha look
yah-ha look whoa
whoa
whoa oh let’s see punish the girls oh yeah
what
what come on come on hey obvious move you
come on come on hey obvious move you
come on come on hey obvious move you they go I mean what
thank you so much for watching I don’t
thank you so much for watching I don’t think we as entrepreneurs often have
think we as entrepreneurs often have
think we as entrepreneurs often have enough fun in our business I know we’re
enough fun in our business I know we’re
enough fun in our business I know we’re focused so much about our big goal and
focused so much about our big goal and
focused so much about our big goal and where we want to go and the stress of
where we want to go and the stress of
where we want to go and the stress of maintaining the business and getting
maintaining the business and getting
maintaining the business and getting customers and you know keeping the
customers and you know keeping the
customers and you know keeping the lights on but I think it’s important to
lights on but I think it’s important to
lights on but I think it’s important to have fun in your business on a regular
have fun in your business on a regular
have fun in your business on a regular basis and it was fun for me to put
basis and it was fun for me to put
basis and it was fun for me to put together this series of clips so
together this series of clips so
together this series of clips so hopefully you guys have some fun I love
hopefully you guys have some fun I love
hopefully you guys have some fun I love to know what you think if you own leave
to know what you think if you own leave
to know what you think if you own leave a comment below I’d also love to know
a comment below I’d also love to know
a comment below I’d also love to know how do you have fun in your business
how do you have fun in your business
how do you have fun in your business what do you do to keep it fun leave the
what do you do to keep it fun leave the
what do you do to keep it fun leave the comment below I will join in discussion
comment below I will join in discussion
comment below I will join in discussion thank you guys so much for watching
thank you guys so much for watching
thank you guys so much for watching continue to believe and I’ll see you
continue to believe and I’ll see you
continue to believe and I’ll see you soon
”
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