Today we invited a special guest
Welcome to Caroline Goyder
Hello everyone
Caroline, can you introduce yourself?
what are you do for living?
I am a voice trainer before
I have been teaching English for many years
Simply put, I know a lot about this area
I still remember that I was standing on the stage
Teaching a group of Argentinian students in English
I was extremely nervous as the focus of attention
And now I teach people how to be self-centered
That’s right, so what we are discussing today
Is how calm and confident in different situations
We selected five scenarios
Then share one by one
Caroline will guide you
How to be more confident
We celebrate International Women’s Day in this special way
And to support the “Dare to change” event of International Women’s Day
Where did you teach English before?
Gojav in the northwest of Poland
It is a magical but highly unlikely place to go
After you receive training in teaching English
I really like it
Why did you choose over there?
I saw a poster in school
So I think, I have a job in the recruitment
Then I went to Poland
A great experience, I love Poland
everything is fine
I have never been to Poland
There are many viewers who subscribe to my channel are from Poland
So I guess they should want to hear you say a few words of Polish
(Polish)
Hey, I also know a word
The word seems to say this way–(Polish)
Yes, it means cheers
It’s a word to say when drinking
Piwo is a beer-related word
I hope you don’t think I’m very scandalous in Poland
But I guess you must be very happy there
What is it that opened your voice training career?
I accept actor training at a drama school
But to be honest, I’m not a bad actor
Ok
I want to work in a theatre but I don’t want to be an actor
So in the end I became a voice trainer
Under the wrong conditions, I unexpectedly unfolded my favorite work
I started as a voice trainer
I found this is something I really want to do
And want to be a lifetime, this is a great job
Although the beginning is unintentional
How long have you worked as a voice trainer?
Almost twenty years
Wow, you must have a lot of experience
Yeah, I think I’m old
I’ve seen the video you talked about confident in the TED talk.
I know you because of that movie
How did you come in contact with TED talk?
Well, I think a lot of things will happen
It’s because of chance
I was training TED x Brixton
Director Stephanie asks me:
Can you come up with something to say?
I said, well I should have
So I said how I joined TEDx
They accepted it. It was what I did in 2014.
Incredibly, there were actually 3 million readings in that speech.
Wow, congratulations
High clickthrough rate
Thank you, Youtube
Oh yes
So we are going to talk today
Confidence in various situations
I selected five situations
Included in the party
During appointments, when briefings, during interviews
And on the phone
I am looking forward to the results of this video
Because I received many requests from the audience
I hope we can share briefings, dating talks, and public speaking skills
I found an expert today
Through rich experience
Prepare to share a few strokes for everyone
Let’s talk about parties first
At the party, people meet for the first time
How to show confidence?
Based on my experience of visiting some frontline actors a few years ago
I got a lot of experience
I wrote a book about frontline actors talking about self-confidence
I visit many frontline actors
Ask them to share how they feel confident
Because I think they are super confident
The result is not
They are not as confident as we look
really?
Yes, one of them said
Helen Milan
Too surprised me
Yeah, such a beautiful woman says so
So stable people
Yes
She said: If I need to attend a party after a show
You know actors often need this
They will hold parties before the opening
A bunch of similar occasions
She said she was very nervous
Take a look at the first tip
Pay attention to your limb first
You must relax shoulders
Adjust your breath and focus your voice
She said: I hate that
It is good to discuss this topic on International Women’s Day.
As a woman
When we are nervous, our voice becomes sharp
And our voice is already high
So Helen Milan said: Keep your voice listening to relax
Oh
I think this is an important point
Stay relaxed, relax shoulders and concentrate sound
Followed by other tips
It was shared by George Clooney
And it’s not…
Did you meet George Clooney?
No, although I miss it
What a pity
George Cloney and Johnny Depp have escaped
Hahahaha
George Clooney said when meeting everyone
He would like to see an old friend
With this imagination he adjusted his behavior and the way he talked?
That’s right
Interesting
You can imagine his face right
There are two uncontrolled muscles around your eyes
Only when you meet an old friend, you will wrinkle when you really smile.
That’s right
This smile from the heart also has a name called Duchenne smile.
Will let everyone relax
Is Du’s smile right?
Give it a try, very effective
So need to close your eyes? Or should I do?
You just imagine that you are meeting an old friend
Then you are chatting with them and retiring
Chemicals in your brain naturally trigger everything
Just thinking that you are chatting with your old friend
Imagine how you would smile when you chat with your old friend. That’s it.
Your expression will be relaxed and your voice will be relaxed
The chemistry of the brain is amazing
magical
I never knew it would be like this before
In addition to the two just mentioned, the third tip
When you walk into a party
You have to think I will only stay here for five minutes
This skill is a very introverted person who teaches me
She is also an actor, she said
I used to be afraid to go to parties
Like going to the gym, I’m not very comfortable
But if I say to myself, I only stay for five minutes
Then I will stay longer than expected
Because it’s really fun
If you say anyway I only stay for five minutes
When you get to the other side, you have a drink first
You start to feel enjoy
You will want to stay a little longer
Say to yourself: Even if you are scared
But I only wait for five minutes
Find someone and talk like an old friend
Always remind yourself to relax on your shoulders
You will do well
Voices should be concentrated
Yes, and don’t be sharp
This is really the case when I face the camera myself
You can also speak in a voice that is a little lower than usual
And when I spoke to the people I met for the first time
The sound seems to be a few degrees higher than usual
Um, I have to pay more attention
Well, the next situation many people want to know is when they are dating.
And this is because I recently posted a video about the date
Say I want to teach everyone about date
Many people are very excited before the release
Because they thought I was talking about dating
As a result, I’m talking about things like numbers and dates.
So how do we behave with confidence when we date?
Especially when I’m not familiar with the previous one or two dates
I asked a skilled expert dating
I said: So what is the secret?
She said she actually learned from me
I was very surprised because she said:
Is how you taught me about performance skills years ago
I applied it on dating
The only thing to do
Note that this is a performance technique
You have to tell yourself: I am beautiful and someone loves me
And I have a secret
Is there a total of three items?
Yes, three things you have to say to yourself:
“I’m beautiful” – when you think about it, your eyes will glow
Most people don’t blink at all times
Thinking that “I am beautiful” can give you a magical glow
Think of someone who loves me.
This triggers the chemicals in your brain
Let you come with a warm temperament
Thinking about “I have a secret” will make you shine
Do you really need to have a secret?
Of course it’s good
Well, I must think of one soon
It doesn’t need to be the secret of WikiLeaks.
The key point is that you want to appear hidden
There are some unconstrained ideas in my mind
Is there a naughty idea?
I do have some of this stuff
This is enough
So you shine in your eyes
The whole person will have a kind of charisma
She said: When I date or participate in a party
This skill makes me shine
People think I am a funny person and want to get closer to me
Many times in our mind
Often are some very negative ideas
That’s right
Everyone is like this
I am not a very regular person
But when I had a date, I looked in the mirror before I went to the appointment
Always feel right
“Hey, he should think I’m boring.”
But I guess if I’m thinking better, it should be better
That’s right
Here’s a link to another show trick
Someone also taught me
If you are always worried about things going wrong
Stop this idea
Changed to thinking: What if everything goes too well?
Imagine if you have a happy date
You smile, the two get along very well
You look more relaxed when you walk in
This will start a positive cycle
You are thinking positive and optimistic
Only think about good things
This is psychological warfare
About the psychological war of dating
I am married and I am right
What about having a pleasant date and paying attention?
I was thinking of you just dating expert
Is she dating often? Or is it only a few times but it is a masterpiece?
Well, it should be said that only a few times but it was very successful
This way
Maybe she is also watching
嗨Nikki
What about the third skill?
The third technique is when dating
We thought we should keep talking
But actually do not use
I think the point is
To ask questions very much
Then listen and imagine
This is an introverted person’s heart
I am an introvert
I don’t need to date now, but I still need to go to the party
I feel uncomfortable in contact with strangers
So I will respond with “questioning questions”
I also realized the same experience from teaching
I have a dialogue class
There are some very shy students in the class
But when I asked some questions that wanted to understand them
They feel that I value them and want to understand them
Suddenly it started
This move is very effective
Especially when it comes to having nothing to say
This kind of jealousy is often seen in dating or when you meet new people.
Ask some smart questions and then continue
Problems can be prepared in advance
Not all, there are several spare problems
Wait for you to ask questions and listen carefully
You naturally have a series of questions to ask
For example, someone said: I love Ai Seiwei (in the city of southwestern Spain)
You can go back: Really, where is Seville?
Someone might say: There is an awesome tapas bar
What kind of stick method is it? I haven’t eaten tapas yet
The dialogue will go on like this
You can continue to deepen from their answers
You are very interested in knowing more
It is very important that you take them seriously
Sometimes when you talk to someone
You can feel their eyes open and they are already empty
That’s terrible
No worse
There will be absolutely no spark
Be sure to listen carefully before you can ask good questions
Once you ask a good question
People who talk to you will feel like you are pulling away
Good advice
Then I would like to ask about tips for public speaking
Or do a briefing
Many of our audience are still university students
There are also some office workers who need to be briefed
Need to use non-native speakers to speak to a large group of people
The pressure is very large
I myself feel that public speaking is very difficult
Even in my mother tongue
Not to mention the second and third foreign languages
Can you teach our audience?
First, it is absolutely very difficult
As you said, public speaking is already horrible
Also use a language that you don’t quite like
If you say something wrong, you can’t escape or hide.
It’s too scary
So I usually tell everyone first
If you need to use a less good language
You must practice more than two times
When I taught my client to do a briefing rehearsal
I asked them to take out the phone
Find out the function of the mobile recording and record the rehearsal
This is my thorough practice
When I say my second foreign language – Spanish
I recorded it and listened carefully
You will find a lot of mistakes I didn’t notice
I didn’t realize it when I said that
Can be more lean
That’s right
But I found out that I was excused from the heart
Can you do this too?
It’s all humans do
Why is this so?
We all feel trouble so we don’t want to practice
And it’s not a fun thing
We also don’t like to hear the voice of ourselves
This feeling is a bit like trying to force myself into the gym
You are very clear that you should go to the gym,
Go out and run
The most difficult step is to step out of the door
But you just want to force yourself,
Press Record and start rehearsal
Only repeated practice and recorded
You can break the blind spot to find out the mistake
Learn from it and make progress
I say to customers who use their mother tongue as a briefing
If it is an important presentation, please rehearse three times
As for people using a second foreign language
At least six rehearsals
Until you feel like getting started
When you are very skilled
It will be simpler and more natural to speak out
I agree with you very much
What about the second technique?
The second tip is to relax your limb
Get ready to control butterflies that are flying in your stomach
How do I suddenly become nervous?
Adjust the breath and hold it steady
The butterfly must fly according to the rules
We describe the feeling of tension in English
I will say there are butterflies flying in my stomach
Yes, this is a very common description
If you are very nervous, that kind of strange feeling of belly
It’s really like there’s a butterfly flying inside
So we have to control the butterfly
Can’t fly
To be uniform and line up like a team when performing
Try to stabilize the fluttering butterflies
Transform the tense feeling into positive force
That’s right
For performers who need to get on stage
Adrenaline is a good thing
Although I hate the feeling of adrenaline rising
For example, before the first date
I can’t cope with it
I am usually a confident person
But that kind of extra nervousness
Feeling of butterflies flying in the stomach, I really don’t like it
But do you think this feeling is a good thing?
Yes
Oh?
And feeling nervous is human
Because of tightness ready to respond
Feel the feeling of belly butterfly flying
Is a source of strength
Because I’m going to play
It is also an exciting performance
Secretion of adrenaline is a state of alertness
Will make you perform better
As long as you don’t use the mood of “Oh, I’m terrible, come again”
Many professional performers and athletes
Have all received such training
How to stabilize yourself and how to adjust your breathing
So before you go to the field, my suggestion is
Never check your e-mail
Or playing electric
Do something that will calm you
Go for a run, swim, or just sit still
You can meditate if you like
Let yourself be calm, even if adrenaline works
You are still cool
Then you can make the adrenaline play a positive role
If you are too impulsive, for example drinking four cups of coffee,
Call to chat with friends,
Respond to emails, people and Whatapp
If you are busy with these things, you cannot make adrenaline work well.
So let yourself calm down
Steady from the body, and then even if the feeling of tension strikes
Psychology is still calm
You can control it well
well
What about the third skill?
The last tip is when you go to the stage
You look to the audience
You treat them as people you know
This is a bit like the secret of George Cloney that I just talked about.
Like myself when facing the audience
In the beginning, I will spend a little time
Before the official start
I will go and chat with the audience
Find a few people from inside
Talk about the purpose of their visit today and what they want to know
They are interested in those topics
If there is no time, I will ask the audience directly on the stage
Does anyone have special questions to ask?
I have seen you do this in your TED talk video
I think that’s very interesting
Because I haven’t seen people doing it like that
I now know the reason behind
How do you feel when you talk to the people?
Being an introvert
Everyone is watching me and I feel scared
It’s a terrible feeling
But if I change my mind, think about the audience
I think I came to help them
Let them get the skills they want to know. The focus is no longer on me.
Then I went into the flow state (meaning that the individual’s spiritual power is fully involved in some kind of activity).
I started to feel as easy as chatting
It’s like we’re sitting here chatting now
You must want to be comfortable when you are on stage
The only difference is that there are thousands of people who are watching you in front of you
Hahaha
And if you’re on stage, talk to some people in the audience
You know what they came for today
You will not always think of yourself
You know you have a task to achieve
Instead of silly standing on the stage
If I only think about myself, I cannot complete the TED talk speech.
When I stood on the TED podium, I didn’t think of myself
And how to share something that helps the audience
awesome
Really thank you very much
I think this is very helpful to me
Because of the increasing number of occasions
I need to do a briefing or speech
I once joined a special group
Then I discovered that everyone except me is very experienced
I feel a bit hurt
If I knew these skills then
I should be able to control my tension better
Go running, do some yoga stretching
It should be done, but I ran for coffee
Don’t drink coffee
Next time will not
I will choose green tea or go for a run
Or drink a lot of water
And one more thing
Many people are preparing for the English exam
Used to find jobs
If there is an English test
Would be better to find a job
Of course they have to attend a job interview
So people often ask me questions about interviewing
What can you share?
Yes, because I also spent a lot of time
Tips to guide people in job interviews
Job interviews are scary, right?
super
The interviewer is simply a demon
There are some tips to deal with
The feeling of being looked at
In the beginning you need to know that this is a job interview
So you really are very carefully audited
That’s right, completely
There is no way
It was originally an uncomfortable and stressful occasion
So stay calm and calm
The same reasoning
Before entering the interview room
Tell yourself that the point is
What kind of person is the other person looking for?
Here’s another performance technique
When you walk into the interview room
You are helping the interviewer for their course or job title
Finding the right person
You are helping them make the right decision
So the purpose is not to provoke you this person
And let the interviewing function quickly and clearly screen
When you turn to think of this as the purpose of the test
That’s the interviewer’s expectations, and you’re ignoring them
This idea also helps you to get rid of “Everybody is watching me.”
“Everybody is provoking me”
So you change your mind
This is a really good idea
Because it is possible that you really are not suitable for this job
It doesn’t matter
Sometimes we just have to accept this fact
So even if it is rejected it will not be so uncomfortable
I often think if I like someone
But he doesn’t like me
I can only think, well, there is no way
I am not the man he ordained
The same idea can also be used in job interviews
Yes, this is the same thing
It also helps you to build your confidence
That’s right
The second trick?
Adjusting breathing is also very important in interview situations
Adjust breathing?
When you are asked a difficult question
think about it
Someone asked you a really difficult question
The most difficult question for me is to ask me to speak of my own shortcomings
Or similar problems
I hate this problem but they love to ask
They just want to see how you respond
Do you want to adjust your breathing first?
Conscious breathing, how to breathe
The way to breathe is very important
When we were suddenly asked a tricky question
Our breath will be like this
A little exaggeration, but this is how chest breathing
This way of breathing does not help
You should use your back to help breathe
Pay attention to your back bone
Feel your back bone
If you pay attention to the way you exhale
Exhale like a candle
Then breathe in one breath
You can feel the ups and downs of your spine between breaths
More moderate
Relatively calm
Also relax your shoulders
Helps you relax and looks calm under pressure
Then you have a great chance to get that job
Because you seem to know how to deal with stress
Let your spine assist you in breathing
The secret is to imagine that you smell a very fragrant smell
Oh
Fortunately, you smell really sweet, so don’t imagine
Haha
thank you for telling me
Although you can’t smell it, it’s really fragrant
The third technique?
The third tip is very serious
In the fourth channel of the BBC
An editor of the economic program is sharing
In the morning session of the fourth channel of the BBC
Worth listening to
He is the editor in charge of economics
His name is Simon Jack
In a book called Gravitas
What qualities he discovered in the outstanding CEO he visited?
He visited some of the fourth channel
He said: Those outstanding CEOs have in common
They are clearly organized
When they answer the question
Not directly throwing the answer
Their answer will be like this: This topic can be explained by three points
Oh
They will step by step
List things you want to say
Orderly
That’s right
Usually when nervous
It will throw out all the words that come to mind
Try to show how much you know
But better ways should be to separate and classify
That’s right
Progressive
To understanding
Of course if it is a very simple question
You don’t need this, only when the problem is a bit complicated
Your brain is down.
A bar-expressed expression can compel yourself to organize ideas in the brain
You must take a deep breath and think carefully
How to say the order
So the second technique is to be used with the third technique
They are complementary
very interesting
The last situation we are discussing today
During a phone call
My students think
English listening is very tricky for them
I believe you also noticed
Speaking may be no problem, reading and writing are very good
But hearing is a bit…
Let them shut
Because I can’t see the other person’s mouth shape, I can’t see body language
In the phone, even the voice is different from the face to face
What advice do you have for students who want to speak confidently on the phone?
Because it’s also important in everyday life
It’s really hard to communicate over the phone
I can’t see anyone talking to you at all
Can’t see their reaction
I wonder if they agree with what you said
It’s tricky right
The first technique is also a performance technique
It was an actress named Anna Massey.
She is no longer dead
She said: When I talk to someone
I imagine they are sitting on the sofa
Sitting at home, even if I haven’t seen them at all
I also imagine their appearance
This is a useful imagination
Helping you shape each other
You will feel a bit curious about the other person. I will not even talk to the customer.
I imagine where they are sitting
What do they look like?
I imagine a real person
Not just a strange and unreal voice
Means to look like each other
Is the first step
I like
Then you imagine the gestures in their calls
Imagine through their voices
For what you say
What kind of emotions are behind their reply?
That’s right, so you must be very focused
This is also helpful
You will not miss the message
The second technique is a bit biased toward the presentation skills
It was me many years ago
Learn from the experience of teaching English
When we speak English
As you just mentioned
Appropriate emphasis can also help listeners receive messages
Ok
Meditation
Like Hamlet’s poem
When you think of to be or not to be
Is a problem
Like this
Find out the rhythm
Other languages do not necessarily have this rhythm
For example, Spanish has a different set of rhythms
When you are on the phone
When important nouns or actions are mentioned
Those so-called “keywords”
Strengthen
You can help with beats by hand
In case the other party can’t see you
My name is Caroline, we are going to discuss today
Emphasis usage
When it comes to focus, I will increase and use hand assistance
But people on the other end of the phone can’t see
Just remember to not do it when you open the video.
That’s right, be careful with your video
This was the case when I had a video
Super, I’m on a radio show
I thought it was just broadcasting
So I wear a bathrobe
Until I read email carefully
Only find the video
Very embarrassed
modern technology
Fortunately, I did not beat my hands when I was talking
But if it’s just a phone call, I should do it
If you just phone, what can you do?
How can all be
What’s the last trick?
Is also the last tip of today
The last tip of today
Is if you are nervous about talking over the phone
But if you have to work hard, then stand up
stand up?
My dad often does this
My dad is the head of a management class
He always walks when he speaks at home
I thought he was just uncomfortable in his knees
Now I know he may also wish to be more imposing
This is very imposing, but it may really be knee pain
Stand up and make your voice more powerful
It’s easier to speak when standing
Makes you sound more powerful and relaxed
Also helpful for breathing
Simply put, it’s better for you.
I found myself talking on the phone
Will stand up naturally
Go to the window to see what
So it’s really useful to stand up
Add a little more
This is what the dubbing staff will do
When they are dubbing the movie
They will cooperate with body movements
They are usually standing dubbing
With exaggerated gestures
Because the gesture will lead everything
Tone and so on
When I raised a master, my voice also increased
When I lower my hand, the sound will be lowered
So stand up and put the ear on the phone
Empty shots to do the action
then
It’s not just playing around but with what you’re saying
Your speech will be more powerful
Easier to listen
Very good advice
thank you
If anyone wants to go deeper
Learn More Phone English
Caroline has a video course
It’s all about expressing confidence on the phone
And it’s free
If you are interested, you can understand
Linked to the bottom video information
Thank you Caroline, it’s a pleasure to have you here
I think I learned a lot
I hope you also learn a lot
If you want to follow more Caroline news
Related information and links
Also in the video information below
You can also watch her TED talk video
There are already 3 million clicks
I don’t have a high clickthrough rate
Thank you for coming as a special guest today
Remember, dare to change
Make a change in life and be more confident
Don’t forget to go online
Become friends with me
I have Facebook, Instagram
See you again next time
Oh!
Completed, thank you all
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