what’s that belief nation is heaven I’m excited to launch a new series where
excited to launch a new series where
excited to launch a new series where code naming is delete love the idea here
code naming is delete love the idea here
code naming is delete love the idea here is it can be really hard for
is it can be really hard for
is it can be really hard for entrepreneurs not just a start of
entrepreneurs not just a start of
entrepreneurs not just a start of business you know how crazy it is to
business you know how crazy it is to
business you know how crazy it is to start and run a business but also to
start and run a business but also to
start and run a business but also to manage a relationship at the same time
manage a relationship at the same time
manage a relationship at the same time maybe the person you’re with is also an
maybe the person you’re with is also an
maybe the person you’re with is also an entrepreneur and you’re fighting to even
entrepreneur and you’re fighting to even
entrepreneur and you’re fighting to even spend any kind of time together because
spend any kind of time together because
spend any kind of time together because you’re both so busy maybe you person was
you’re both so busy maybe you person was
you’re both so busy maybe you person was not an entrepreneur it has a
not an entrepreneur it has a
not an entrepreneur it has a nine-to-five job and that can be a
nine-to-five job and that can be a
nine-to-five job and that can be a struggle just in terms of understanding
struggle just in terms of understanding
struggle just in terms of understanding each other and support that you need and
each other and support that you need and
each other and support that you need and so I get so many questions from
so I get so many questions from
so I get so many questions from entrepreneurs and one of the
entrepreneurs and one of the
entrepreneurs and one of the entrepreneurs that deal with
entrepreneurs that deal with
entrepreneurs that deal with relationships and I thought how about we
relationships and I thought how about we
relationships and I thought how about we make it a weekly series and we test see
make it a weekly series and we test see
make it a weekly series and we test see what you guys think to showcase
what you guys think to showcase
what you guys think to showcase different pieces of advice that you
different pieces of advice that you
different pieces of advice that you might be able to use bring it to your
might be able to use bring it to your
might be able to use bring it to your life and hopefully help you have
life and hopefully help you have
life and hopefully help you have healthier stronger stronger stronger
healthier stronger stronger stronger
healthier stronger stronger stronger happier relationships because when
happier relationships because when
happier relationships because when you’re happy at home too you have so
you’re happy at home too you have so
you’re happy at home too you have so much more energy that you can bring to
much more energy that you can bring to
much more energy that you can bring to your business and walk through the
your business and walk through the
your business and walk through the amazing things and so today we’re going
amazing things and so today we’re going
amazing things and so today we’re going to learn from the legendary iyanla
to learn from the legendary iyanla
to learn from the legendary iyanla Vanzant and her tips on how to fight
Vanzant and her tips on how to fight
Vanzant and her tips on how to fight fairly how to resolve differences and
fairly how to resolve differences and
fairly how to resolve differences and offsets in a relationship so I’m going
offsets in a relationship so I’m going
offsets in a relationship so I’m going to shorten that and make it how to fight
to shorten that and make it how to fight
to shorten that and make it how to fight fair fights meaning upsets disagreements
fair fights meaning upsets disagreements
fair fights meaning upsets disagreements and arguments are normal even in the
and arguments are normal even in the
and arguments are normal even in the best of relationships what matters is
best of relationships what matters is
best of relationships what matters is how you handle it now I know there are
how you handle it now I know there are
how you handle it now I know there are those people who think the first time
those people who think the first time
those people who think the first time they have a disagreement or an argument
they have a disagreement or an argument
they have a disagreement or an argument that the relationship is over wrong what
that the relationship is over wrong what
that the relationship is over wrong what makes a argument or an upset or
makes a argument or an upset or
makes a argument or an upset or disagreement even a slight breakdown in
disagreement even a slight breakdown in
disagreement even a slight breakdown in the relationship meaningful is how you
the relationship meaningful is how you
the relationship meaningful is how you handle it and how you handle yourself so
handle it and how you handle yourself so
handle it and how you handle yourself so whether it’s a long-standing love ship
whether it’s a long-standing love ship
whether it’s a long-standing love ship or a new relationship understanding how
or a new relationship understanding how
or a new relationship understanding how to handle those difficult places those
to handle those difficult places those
to handle those difficult places those upset and fighting fairly it’s crucial
upset and fighting fairly it’s crucial
upset and fighting fairly it’s crucial for the success of any and
for the success of any and
for the success of any and relationship normally when folks have a
relationship normally when folks have a
relationship normally when folks have a disagreement or an argument even if they
disagreement or an argument even if they
disagreement or an argument even if they love each other either of them
love each other either of them
love each other either of them instinctively wants to win and prove
instinctively wants to win and prove
instinctively wants to win and prove that they are right however when you are
that they are right however when you are
that they are right however when you are in a relationship you really have to
in a relationship you really have to
in a relationship you really have to understand that’s fighting to be right
understand that’s fighting to be right
understand that’s fighting to be right holding onto your position is usually
holding onto your position is usually
holding onto your position is usually not going to turn out well for you in
not going to turn out well for you in
not going to turn out well for you in most arguments we expect there will be a
most arguments we expect there will be a
most arguments we expect there will be a winner and a loser when however we are
winner and a loser when however we are
winner and a loser when however we are dealing with a loving relationship an
dealing with a loving relationship an
dealing with a loving relationship an argument can even make both of you
argument can even make both of you
argument can even make both of you winners or make both of you suffer
winners or make both of you suffer
winners or make both of you suffer depending on how you do it so here’s a
depending on how you do it so here’s a
depending on how you do it so here’s a few tips few things that I’ve learned
few tips few things that I’ve learned
few tips few things that I’ve learned along the way that I’d like to share
along the way that I’d like to share
along the way that I’d like to share with you because I was a gotta win
with you because I was a gotta win
with you because I was a gotta win person first stay focused on the current
person first stay focused on the current
person first stay focused on the current conflict and resist the temptation to be
conflict and resist the temptation to be
conflict and resist the temptation to be a history major I’ll explain that in a
a history major I’ll explain that in a
a history major I’ll explain that in a little bit but when things get heated it
little bit but when things get heated it
little bit but when things get heated it is easy to lose sight of the real
is easy to lose sight of the real
is easy to lose sight of the real conflict especially when it feels like
conflict especially when it feels like
conflict especially when it feels like you are the one that’s losing the
you are the one that’s losing the
you are the one that’s losing the argument when that happens you will be
argument when that happens you will be
argument when that happens you will be tempted particularly us ladies to bring
tempted particularly us ladies to bring
tempted particularly us ladies to bring up everything all the history of
up everything all the history of
up everything all the history of everything your partner or friend has
everything your partner or friend has
everything your partner or friend has done wrong you may think that you’re
done wrong you may think that you’re
done wrong you may think that you’re using evidence to make your point
using evidence to make your point
using evidence to make your point stronger however what happens is you are
stronger however what happens is you are
stronger however what happens is you are contributing to a shutdown and
contributing to a shutdown and
contributing to a shutdown and frustration that will not resolve the
frustration that will not resolve the
frustration that will not resolve the issue or end the argument so stick to
issue or end the argument so stick to
issue or end the argument so stick to what the upset is about what angered you
what the upset is about what angered you
what the upset is about what angered you in this moment rather than every other
in this moment rather than every other
in this moment rather than every other upset that you never brought to the
upset that you never brought to the
upset that you never brought to the table it will serve you to focus on one
table it will serve you to focus on one
table it will serve you to focus on one aspect and solve that one issue instead
aspect and solve that one issue instead
aspect and solve that one issue instead of going all over the place and dragging
of going all over the place and dragging
of going all over the place and dragging the other person through the mud of the
the other person through the mud of the
the other person through the mud of the past next and this is really really
past next and this is really really
past next and this is really really really important don’t mope know the
really important don’t mope know the
really important don’t mope know the other person there are times in a
other person there are times in a
other person there are times in a relationship when all you see is red
relationship when all you see is red
relationship when all you see is red particularly when you’re arguing when
particularly when you’re arguing when
particularly when you’re arguing when this happens the easiest way to hurt
this happens the easiest way to hurt
this happens the easiest way to hurt your partner or the person you’re in
your partner or the person you’re in
your partner or the person you’re in upset with if they hit them where it
upset with if they hit them where it
upset with if they hit them where it hurts by calling them names or talking
hurts by calling them names or talking
hurts by calling them names or talking about how much weight they gained or how
about how much weight they gained or how
about how much weight they gained or how many things they failed at doing not
many things they failed at doing not
many things they failed at doing not only are you pulling on and triggering a
only are you pulling on and triggering a
only are you pulling on and triggering a sensitive nerve digging around in
sensitive nerve digging around in
sensitive nerve digging around in insecurity you are not fighting fairly
insecurity you are not fighting fairly
insecurity you are not fighting fairly or you may manage to bring the other
or you may manage to bring the other
or you may manage to bring the other person to tears to make them feel weak
person to tears to make them feel weak
person to tears to make them feel weak but why would you not want to do that
but why would you not want to do that
but why would you not want to do that just to prove that you’re right and
just to prove that you’re right and
just to prove that you’re right and they’re wrong if you want to fight
they’re wrong if you want to fight
they’re wrong if you want to fight fairly don’t blow the other person
fairly don’t blow the other person
fairly don’t blow the other person because that traumatizes them and it
because that traumatizes them and it
because that traumatizes them and it creates something that you won’t only
creates something that you won’t only
creates something that you won’t only have to clean out later on okay number
have to clean out later on okay number
have to clean out later on okay number three resist the temptation to be
three resist the temptation to be
three resist the temptation to be sarcastic because sarcasm hurts oh
sarcastic because sarcasm hurts oh
sarcastic because sarcasm hurts oh really who you yeah bet you will he’s a
really who you yeah bet you will he’s a
really who you yeah bet you will he’s a joke view of the biting stinging
joke view of the biting stinging
joke view of the biting stinging sarcastic remark that not only heard but
sarcastic remark that not only heard but
sarcastic remark that not only heard but also pissed the other person off and
also pissed the other person off and
also pissed the other person off and force them to start low blowing you or
force them to start low blowing you or
force them to start low blowing you or bringing up past issues just to get even
bringing up past issues just to get even
bringing up past issues just to get even and when that gets started and
and when that gets started and
and when that gets started and misunderstanding can lead to an all-out
misunderstanding can lead to an all-out
misunderstanding can lead to an all-out terroristic war and guess what Wars
terroristic war and guess what Wars
terroristic war and guess what Wars create casualties and fatalities
create casualties and fatalities
create casualties and fatalities sarcasm not only wounds the ego it
sarcasm not only wounds the ego it
sarcasm not only wounds the ego it damages the heart and it diminishes the
damages the heart and it diminishes the
damages the heart and it diminishes the upper person while it dishonored you
upper person while it dishonored you
upper person while it dishonored you stay away from the low blow
stay away from the low blow
stay away from the low blow number four don’t come into an argument
number four don’t come into an argument
number four don’t come into an argument with your mind made up that the other
with your mind made up that the other
with your mind made up that the other person is wrong and you are right that’s
person is wrong and you are right that’s
person is wrong and you are right that’s not okay be willing to ask questions and
not okay be willing to ask questions and
not okay be willing to ask questions and share your assumptions be willing to
share your assumptions be willing to
share your assumptions be willing to hear what it says and without relying on
hear what it says and without relying on
hear what it says and without relying on what you have already made up in your
what you have already made up in your
what you have already made up in your mind when the other person wasn’t even
mind when the other person wasn’t even
mind when the other person wasn’t even present talk about what you feel and
present talk about what you feel and
present talk about what you feel and what you felt talk about your
what you felt talk about your
what you felt talk about your perspective and what you think is going
perspective and what you think is going
perspective and what you think is going on without making accusations and
on without making accusations and
on without making accusations and assumptions be willing to get off your
assumptions be willing to get off your
assumptions be willing to get off your position in response to what you hear
position in response to what you hear
position in response to what you hear because as long as you stay planted in
because as long as you stay planted in
because as long as you stay planted in the need to be right the argument or the
the need to be right the argument or the
the need to be right the argument or the upset will linger and grow stay open to
upset will linger and grow stay open to
upset will linger and grow stay open to the possibility that you may have been
the possibility that you may have been
the possibility that you may have been mistaken even in that conversation you
mistaken even in that conversation you
mistaken even in that conversation you had in your own head where you want
had in your own head where you want
had in your own head where you want number five
number five
number five supporting that last point you must
supporting that last point you must
supporting that last point you must listen to each other I know it’s hard
listen to each other I know it’s hard
listen to each other I know it’s hard but it is an absolute must in a healthy
but it is an absolute must in a healthy
but it is an absolute must in a healthy relationship you must respect each
relationship you must respect each
relationship you must respect each other’s opinion and you cannot do that
other’s opinion and you cannot do that
other’s opinion and you cannot do that if you’re not willing to listen and
if you’re not willing to listen and
if you’re not willing to listen and guess what the best way to be heard is
guess what the best way to be heard is
guess what the best way to be heard is to be willing to hear somebody now in
to be willing to hear somebody now in
to be willing to hear somebody now in listening you need not agree but you
listening you need not agree but you
listening you need not agree but you must listen to what is being said you
must listen to what is being said you
must listen to what is being said you may feel it go wrong by an accusation or
may feel it go wrong by an accusation or
may feel it go wrong by an accusation or maybe a very invalid point however it is
maybe a very invalid point however it is
maybe a very invalid point however it is important to fair fighting to make an
important to fair fighting to make an
important to fair fighting to make an effort not to cut the person off and to
effort not to cut the person off and to
effort not to cut the person off and to listen to what they’re saying and while
listen to what they’re saying and while
listen to what they’re saying and while you’re listening
you’re listening
you’re listening don’t formulate your response in your
don’t formulate your response in your
don’t formulate your response in your head and then respond to what you’ve
head and then respond to what you’ve
head and then respond to what you’ve heard rather than what was actually said
heard rather than what was actually said
heard rather than what was actually said final what most people think an argument
final what most people think an argument
final what most people think an argument can help a relationship get better and
can help a relationship get better and
can help a relationship get better and help both of you understand each other
help both of you understand each other
help both of you understand each other more however if you do not listen you
more however if you do not listen you
more however if you do not listen you cannot hear what is being said
cannot hear what is being said
cannot hear what is being said you won’t make stuff up that has nothing
you won’t make stuff up that has nothing
you won’t make stuff up that has nothing to do with the other person
to do with the other person
to do with the other person or what is going on remember you need
or what is going on remember you need
or what is going on remember you need not agree but you want to make the
not agree but you want to make the
not agree but you want to make the effort to listen and hear so that you
effort to listen and hear so that you
effort to listen and hear so that you will be heard
will be heard
will be heard number six keep breathing and I know
number six keep breathing and I know
number six keep breathing and I know this sounds stupid but against
this sounds stupid but against
this sounds stupid but against everything I want you to do your best
everything I want you to do your best
everything I want you to do your best not to raise your voice I know I know
not to raise your voice I know I know
not to raise your voice I know I know that sounds crazy an argument but all
that sounds crazy an argument but all
that sounds crazy an argument but all arguments don’t have to operate and
arguments don’t have to operate and
arguments don’t have to operate and attend you can do another five because
attend you can do another five because
attend you can do another five because when you raise your voice it will not
when you raise your voice it will not
when you raise your voice it will not only infuriate the other person who will
only infuriate the other person who will
only infuriate the other person who will probably start yelling back in may
probably start yelling back in may
probably start yelling back in may frightening making them even more
frightening making them even more
frightening making them even more defensive and when they’re defensive
defensive and when they’re defensive
defensive and when they’re defensive they cannot be available to hear you
they cannot be available to hear you
they cannot be available to hear you they can’t be available to a resolution
they can’t be available to a resolution
they can’t be available to a resolution raised voices can make a mountain out of
raised voices can make a mountain out of
raised voices can make a mountain out of a molehill and cloud the issue now
a molehill and cloud the issue now
a molehill and cloud the issue now you’re not talking to a wild child or
you’re not talking to a wild child or
you’re not talking to a wild child or stranger not sure why you would yell at
stranger not sure why you would yell at
stranger not sure why you would yell at either them either but I do know that
either them either but I do know that
either them either but I do know that yelling does not make your point
yelling does not make your point
yelling does not make your point stronger or more right staying in
stronger or more right staying in
stronger or more right staying in control of yourself speaking with a calm
control of yourself speaking with a calm
control of yourself speaking with a calm boy even if you go from three to five to
boy even if you go from three to five to
boy even if you go from three to five to six hold it right being calm voice can
six hold it right being calm voice can
six hold it right being calm voice can also calm the other person down
also calm the other person down
also calm the other person down and turn an argument into a discussion
and turn an argument into a discussion
and turn an argument into a discussion rather than here’s number seven to fight
rather than here’s number seven to fight
rather than here’s number seven to fight fairly you must be willing to telogen
fairly you must be willing to telogen
fairly you must be willing to telogen withholding information distorting
withholding information distorting
withholding information distorting information sugarcoating bad behavior or
information sugarcoating bad behavior or
information sugarcoating bad behavior or out-and-out being dishonest is going to
out-and-out being dishonest is going to
out-and-out being dishonest is going to backfire sooner or later
backfire sooner or later
backfire sooner or later lying will make the other person
lying will make the other person
lying will make the other person suspicious people know when you’re not
suspicious people know when you’re not
suspicious people know when you’re not telling the truth and that destroys
telling the truth and that destroys
telling the truth and that destroys trust tell the truth even when it’s hard
trust tell the truth even when it’s hard
trust tell the truth even when it’s hard speak your mind and your truth in a way
speak your mind and your truth in a way
speak your mind and your truth in a way that doesn’t intentionally inflict harm
that doesn’t intentionally inflict harm
that doesn’t intentionally inflict harm saying what needs to be said and be
saying what needs to be said and be
saying what needs to be said and be willing to hear the truth about you and
willing to hear the truth about you and
willing to hear the truth about you and your behavior number eight this is
your behavior number eight this is
your behavior number eight this is another big one don’t blame your failure
another big one don’t blame your failure
another big one don’t blame your failure and shortcoming or behavior on anyone
and shortcoming or behavior on anyone
and shortcoming or behavior on anyone else in the midst of an argument it is
else in the midst of an argument it is
else in the midst of an argument it is absolutely essential that you own and
absolutely essential that you own and
absolutely essential that you own and accept responsibility for your behavior
accept responsibility for your behavior
accept responsibility for your behavior your choices and the consequences are
your choices and the consequences are
your choices and the consequences are both available nothing takes a
both available nothing takes a
both available nothing takes a disagreement down the road to disaster
disagreement down the road to disaster
disagreement down the road to disaster faster than when you are blaming the
faster than when you are blaming the
faster than when you are blaming the other person for what you did or did not
other person for what you did or did not
other person for what you did or did not do don’t blame anyone else for your
do don’t blame anyone else for your
do don’t blame anyone else for your misfortunes your values or your
misfortunes your values or your
misfortunes your values or your shortcoming if you feel strongly about
shortcoming if you feel strongly about
shortcoming if you feel strongly about something someone did speak about it
something someone did speak about it
something someone did speak about it owning your part in it it may not be
owning your part in it it may not be
owning your part in it it may not be anybody’s fault sometimes stuff just
anybody’s fault sometimes stuff just
anybody’s fault sometimes stuff just happens sometimes it could be a big
happens sometimes it could be a big
happens sometimes it could be a big misunderstanding but you’ve got to tell
misunderstanding but you’ve got to tell
misunderstanding but you’ve got to tell you about what you did what you didn’t
you about what you did what you didn’t
you about what you did what you didn’t do what you feel what you said what you
do what you feel what you said what you
do what you feel what you said what you heard and what you want right
heard and what you want right
heard and what you want right it may take some effort and humility to
it may take some effort and humility to
it may take some effort and humility to put your arms around someone after a
put your arms around someone after a
put your arms around someone after a fresh fight this is why it is so
fresh fight this is why it is so
fresh fight this is why it is so important to fight in a way that shows
important to fight in a way that shows
important to fight in a way that shows that both of you respect each other and
that both of you respect each other and
that both of you respect each other and that you love each other
that you love each other
that you love each other refuse to allow big or small irritating
refuse to allow big or small irritating
refuse to allow big or small irritating misunderstandings the common way of the
misunderstandings the common way of the
misunderstandings the common way of the love that you share fight fairly stay
love that you share fight fairly stay
love that you share fight fairly stay engaged finding fairly may not only help
engaged finding fairly may not only help
engaged finding fairly may not only help you understand each other better but it
you understand each other better but it
you understand each other better but it means that you will have a healthier
means that you will have a healthier
means that you will have a healthier relationship when the dust settle
relationship when the dust settle
relationship when the dust settle remember finding need not be fatal
remember finding need not be fatal
remember finding need not be fatal pick your battles wisely and always
pick your battles wisely and always
pick your battles wisely and always fight without drawing blood thank you
fight without drawing blood thank you
fight without drawing blood thank you guys so much for watching I hope you
guys so much for watching I hope you
guys so much for watching I hope you enjoyed I love to know what did you
enjoyed I love to know what did you
enjoyed I love to know what did you think of this video did you like some of
think of this video did you like some of
think of this video did you like some of the points here which one is most
the points here which one is most
the points here which one is most relevant applicable to you in your
relevant applicable to you in your
relevant applicable to you in your situation right now leave it down in the
situation right now leave it down in the
situation right now leave it down in the comments below I’d also love to know
comments below I’d also love to know
comments below I’d also love to know what do you think about this new
what do you think about this new
what do you think about this new potential series believe love once a
potential series believe love once a
potential series believe love once a week on the weekend show a little bit
week on the weekend show a little bit
week on the weekend show a little bit more the personal side helping with your
more the personal side helping with your
more the personal side helping with your relationships if you wanted to continue
relationships if you wanted to continue
relationships if you wanted to continue let me know there are topics that you
let me know there are topics that you
let me know there are topics that you won’t get to cover within that
won’t get to cover within that
won’t get to cover within that relationship spectrum let me know I’d
relationship spectrum let me know I’d
relationship spectrum let me know I’d love to hear thoughts please share it
love to hear thoughts please share it
love to hear thoughts please share it down the comments below thank you guys
down the comments below thank you guys
down the comments below thank you guys so much for watching I really appreciate
so much for watching I really appreciate
so much for watching I really appreciate all your support and your love as well I
all your support and your love as well I
all your support and your love as well I believe in you hopeful continue to
believe in you hopeful continue to
believe in you hopeful continue to believe in yourself
believe in yourself
believe in yourself and whatever your one word is much love
and whatever your one word is much love
and whatever your one word is much love guys I’ll see you soon
”
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