hi I’m Evan Carmichael and welcome to another edition of ask Evan in today’s
another edition of ask Evan in today’s
another edition of ask Evan in today’s video I thought I’d be easier to show
video I thought I’d be easier to show
video I thought I’d be easier to show you a screen capture it’s a question
you a screen capture it’s a question
you a screen capture it’s a question from one of my readers Kalyan who posted
from one of my readers Kalyan who posted
from one of my readers Kalyan who posted in my forums about a sales letter that
in my forums about a sales letter that
in my forums about a sales letter that he created for one of his products and
he created for one of his products and
he created for one of his products and he wanted my advice on what to do so
he wanted my advice on what to do so
he wanted my advice on what to do so here’s his post it was can someone
here’s his post it was can someone
here’s his post it was can someone please review my product description and
please review my product description and
please review my product description and he wrote here hello everyone i just
he wrote here hello everyone i just
he wrote here hello everyone i just started providing research services to
started providing research services to
started providing research services to assist other internet marketers i was
assist other internet marketers i was
assist other internet marketers i was wondering if you could take a look at my
wondering if you could take a look at my
wondering if you could take a look at my copywriting and give some feedback on
copywriting and give some feedback on
copywriting and give some feedback on what seems to work and what i can change
what seems to work and what i can change
what seems to work and what i can change use URL thank you in advance for any
use URL thank you in advance for any
use URL thank you in advance for any feedback you may have Kailyn so I
feedback you may have Kailyn so I
feedback you may have Kailyn so I thought I’d walk you through it and will
thought I’d walk you through it and will
thought I’d walk you through it and will click on his link here and see what
click on his link here and see what
click on his link here and see what shows up so here’s his sales page and
shows up so here’s his sales page and
shows up so here’s his sales page and before I even start reading the content
before I even start reading the content
before I even start reading the content here is a couple things that throw me
here is a couple things that throw me
here is a couple things that throw me off that you might want to look at
off that you might want to look at
off that you might want to look at kalyan the first is the text here is
kalyan the first is the text here is
kalyan the first is the text here is hard to read it kind of goes over the
hard to read it kind of goes over the
hard to read it kind of goes over the computer monitors here the graphics look
computer monitors here the graphics look
computer monitors here the graphics look very kind of stock photo doesn’t really
very kind of stock photo doesn’t really
very kind of stock photo doesn’t really give me a lot of confidence that it’s a
give me a lot of confidence that it’s a
give me a lot of confidence that it’s a substantial company or a successful
substantial company or a successful
substantial company or a successful entrepreneur that I want to give my
entrepreneur that I want to give my
entrepreneur that I want to give my money to so you want to work on the
money to so you want to work on the
money to so you want to work on the graphics a little bit not have the text
graphics a little bit not have the text
graphics a little bit not have the text overlap on each other might be just a
overlap on each other might be just a
overlap on each other might be just a chrome issue but something you want to
chrome issue but something you want to
chrome issue but something you want to look at I see that you’ve included all
look at I see that you’ve included all
look at I see that you’ve included all sorts of the different social media
sorts of the different social media
sorts of the different social media signals we’ve got dig and Facebook and
signals we’ve got dig and Facebook and
signals we’ve got dig and Facebook and Twitter but they all have zero and that
Twitter but they all have zero and that
Twitter but they all have zero and that doesn’t look good if it’s a sales page
doesn’t look good if it’s a sales page
doesn’t look good if it’s a sales page and everything is zero I would probably
and everything is zero I would probably
and everything is zero I would probably recommend taking those off of here so it
recommend taking those off of here so it
recommend taking those off of here so it doesn’t look like nobody’s buying from
doesn’t look like nobody’s buying from
doesn’t look like nobody’s buying from you or nobody really cares about this
you or nobody really cares about this
you or nobody really cares about this site the other thing here is the
site the other thing here is the
site the other thing here is the archives are not that old right so we’re
archives are not that old right so we’re
archives are not that old right so we’re in august now you know the sites only
in august now you know the sites only
in august now you know the sites only been around for five months doesn’t
been around for five months doesn’t
been around for five months doesn’t again give me a lot of confidence and
again give me a lot of confidence and
again give me a lot of confidence and i’m buying from expert somebody knows
i’m buying from expert somebody knows
i’m buying from expert somebody knows what they’re really doing if they only
what they’re really doing if they only
what they’re really doing if they only have five months of history here i would
have five months of history here i would
have five months of history here i would probably lead off with something of a
probably lead off with something of a
probably lead off with something of a testimonial if you can if there’s been
testimonial if you can if there’s been
testimonial if you can if there’s been clients that you’ve helped and you can
clients that you’ve helped and you can
clients that you’ve helped and you can show some social proof that hey people
show some social proof that hey people
show some social proof that hey people are using my service and really liked it
are using my service and really liked it
are using my service and really liked it so if you could have a picture at the
so if you could have a picture at the
so if you could have a picture at the front of somebody who’s used it with a
front of somebody who’s used it with a
front of somebody who’s used it with a with a good testimonial either great
with a good testimonial either great
with a good testimonial either great video that’d be great and go a long way
video that’d be great and go a long way
video that’d be great and go a long way to start convincing people that what
to start convincing people that what
to start convincing people that what you’re selling actually works so that’s
you’re selling actually works so that’s
you’re selling actually works so that’s before even looking at the content so
before even looking at the content so
before even looking at the content so let’s actually get into the content
let’s actually get into the content
let’s actually get into the content itself the most important thing is going
itself the most important thing is going
itself the most important thing is going to impact people is your title so your
to impact people is your title so your
to impact people is your title so your title here it’s online rookies internet
title here it’s online rookies internet
title here it’s online rookies internet market research services so not anything
market research services so not anything
market research services so not anything is really going to you know give me a
is really going to you know give me a
is really going to you know give me a WOW factor I’m not encouraged to want to
WOW factor I’m not encouraged to want to
WOW factor I’m not encouraged to want to read on so you got to really grab people
read on so you got to really grab people
read on so you got to really grab people with your title and make them want to
with your title and make them want to
with your title and make them want to learn more about what you have to do so
learn more about what you have to do so
learn more about what you have to do so you definitely rework your title there’s
you definitely rework your title there’s
you definitely rework your title there’s a lot of text here to read that you’re
a lot of text here to read that you’re
a lot of text here to read that you’re hoping people go through and people
hoping people go through and people
hoping people go through and people don’t like to read text so I try to get
don’t like to read text so I try to get
don’t like to read text so I try to get right to the point of what you do and
right to the point of what you do and
right to the point of what you do and why you’re different than everybody else
why you’re different than everybody else
why you’re different than everybody else so kind of grab people a little bit more
so kind of grab people a little bit more
so kind of grab people a little bit more next to the different services that you
next to the different services that you
next to the different services that you have email marketing keyword research
have email marketing keyword research
have email marketing keyword research Twitter networking guest blogging I put
Twitter networking guest blogging I put
Twitter networking guest blogging I put little icons people are visual and like
little icons people are visual and like
little icons people are visual and like to see pictures and helps break up the
to see pictures and helps break up the
to see pictures and helps break up the text a little bit more so that might
text a little bit more so that might
text a little bit more so that might help you increase your conversions a
help you increase your conversions a
help you increase your conversions a little bit more you make a lot of claims
little bit more you make a lot of claims
little bit more you make a lot of claims in here as I was reading it that you
in here as I was reading it that you
in here as I was reading it that you know I’m not sure I believe so you want
know I’m not sure I believe so you want
know I’m not sure I believe so you want to try to back it up for example there’s
to try to back it up for example there’s
to try to back it up for example there’s your twitter has high conversion rate
your twitter has high conversion rate
your twitter has high conversion rate sales on twitter has have high
sales on twitter has have high
sales on twitter has have high conversion rates you know i haven’t
conversion rates you know i haven’t
conversion rates you know i haven’t found that in my experience so it’s you
found that in my experience so it’s you
found that in my experience so it’s you know if you had some data to back that
know if you had some data to back that
know if you had some data to back that up reports you can link to your saying
up reports you can link to your saying
up reports you can link to your saying you know email marketing didn’t die it
you know email marketing didn’t die it
you know email marketing didn’t die it such as profitable as ever again you
such as profitable as ever again you
such as profitable as ever again you want to make sure you can back up those
want to make sure you can back up those
want to make sure you can back up those claims with the link to an article or
claims with the link to an article or
claims with the link to an article or research that you’ve done to show people
research that you’ve done to show people
research that you’ve done to show people that you really know what you’re talking
that you really know what you’re talking
that you really know what you’re talking about you know a 17 year old blogger
about you know a 17 year old blogger
about you know a 17 year old blogger who’s built a strong reputation through
who’s built a strong reputation through
who’s built a strong reputation through guest blogging making 5,000 a month who
guest blogging making 5,000 a month who
guest blogging making 5,000 a month who is this person can you show me a picture
is this person can you show me a picture
is this person can you show me a picture can you show me his blog again you know
can you show me his blog again you know
can you show me his blog again you know builds in a little bit more credibility
builds in a little bit more credibility
builds in a little bit more credibility because a lot of people will be making
because a lot of people will be making
because a lot of people will be making these type of claims don’t back it up
these type of claims don’t back it up
these type of claims don’t back it up and so it doesn’t give me confidence to
and so it doesn’t give me confidence to
and so it doesn’t give me confidence to want to give you money to you know move
want to give you money to you know move
want to give you money to you know move forward with whatever services you’re
forward with whatever services you’re
forward with whatever services you’re offering I’d love to see people that
offering I’d love to see people that
offering I’d love to see people that you’ve helped other clients that you’ve
you’ve helped other clients that you’ve
you’ve helped other clients that you’ve done work with if you don’t have any
done work with if you don’t have any
done work with if you don’t have any pain clients yet do some work for free
pain clients yet do some work for free
pain clients yet do some work for free just build it up build a portfolio of
just build it up build a portfolio of
just build it up build a portfolio of people who then you can go back to and
people who then you can go back to and
people who then you can go back to and can give you testimonials and say hey
can give you testimonials and say hey
can give you testimonials and say hey you know this guy
you know this guy
you know this guy really knows what he’s doing and I want
really knows what he’s doing and I want
really knows what he’s doing and I want to hire him I noticed what’s missing
to hire him I noticed what’s missing
to hire him I noticed what’s missing here as well as you don’t have anything
here as well as you don’t have anything
here as well as you don’t have anything about you so Who am I hiring who is
about you so Who am I hiring who is
about you so Who am I hiring who is online rookies internet marketing be
online rookies internet marketing be
online rookies internet marketing be great to see your picture your story a
great to see your picture your story a
great to see your picture your story a little bit more about you and how you
little bit more about you and how you
little bit more about you and how you got started and you know why you’re an
got started and you know why you’re an
got started and you know why you’re an expert and why I should hire you because
expert and why I should hire you because
expert and why I should hire you because it’s a pretty simple form here and I
it’s a pretty simple form here and I
it’s a pretty simple form here and I wouldn’t be encouraged to want to sign
wouldn’t be encouraged to want to sign
wouldn’t be encouraged to want to sign up quite yet until you’ve done a little
up quite yet until you’ve done a little
up quite yet until you’ve done a little bit more work and then the last thing I
bit more work and then the last thing I
bit more work and then the last thing I would include is a really strong call to
would include is a really strong call to
would include is a really strong call to action so one incentive are you giving
action so one incentive are you giving
action so one incentive are you giving people to want to contact you your call
people to want to contact you your call
people to want to contact you your call to action here is research is your
to action here is research is your
to action here is research is your greatest weapon contact us and we will
greatest weapon contact us and we will
greatest weapon contact us and we will give you the tools to make your internet
give you the tools to make your internet
give you the tools to make your internet marketing campaign shine so you know you
marketing campaign shine so you know you
marketing campaign shine so you know you want to highlight that a little bit more
want to highlight that a little bit more
want to highlight that a little bit more and and make it easy so like contact us
and and make it easy so like contact us
and and make it easy so like contact us is not a link so how do I actually
is not a link so how do I actually
is not a link so how do I actually contact you I don’t see an email really
contact you I don’t see an email really
contact you I don’t see an email really anywhere here on this page so you know
anywhere here on this page so you know
anywhere here on this page so you know if I want to if i want to set up with
if I want to if i want to set up with
if I want to if i want to set up with you how do i actually do it how do I
you how do i actually do it how do I
you how do i actually do it how do I contact you so that should be really
contact you so that should be really
contact you so that should be really obvious make it a big button give people
obvious make it a big button give people
obvious make it a big button give people options to contact you especially by
options to contact you especially by
options to contact you especially by email and hopefully that will help
email and hopefully that will help
email and hopefully that will help increase some of your conversions on
increase some of your conversions on
increase some of your conversions on this so Kailyn I hope that helps give
this so Kailyn I hope that helps give
this so Kailyn I hope that helps give you some advice there’s and tips you can
you some advice there’s and tips you can
you some advice there’s and tips you can use to make this letter better keep us
use to make this letter better keep us
use to make this letter better keep us posted and if you have a new version of
posted and if you have a new version of
posted and if you have a new version of it be great to see the changes they’ve
it be great to see the changes they’ve
it be great to see the changes they’ve made and be cool to see if you’ve been
made and be cool to see if you’ve been
made and be cool to see if you’ve been able to increase your conversions
able to increase your conversions
able to increase your conversions because of some of those changes for
because of some of those changes for
because of some of those changes for everybody watching the video if you guys
everybody watching the video if you guys
everybody watching the video if you guys liked it please give it a thumbs up
liked it please give it a thumbs up
liked it please give it a thumbs up we’ll make more just like it and it also
we’ll make more just like it and it also
we’ll make more just like it and it also love to hear your thoughts and feedback
love to hear your thoughts and feedback
love to hear your thoughts and feedback if you want to leave a comment below the
if you want to leave a comment below the
if you want to leave a comment below the video and stay tuned for the next
video and stay tuned for the next
video and stay tuned for the next episode
”
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