I think the secret to my career is I don’t know what I can’t do these things
don’t know what I can’t do these things
don’t know what I can’t do these things happen to you and you think you’ve been
happen to you and you think you’ve been
happen to you and you think you’ve been dealt a terrible hand you’ve had that
dealt a terrible hand you’ve had that
dealt a terrible hand you’ve had that luck and when you just go with it
luck and when you just go with it
luck and when you just go with it there’s a you just start improvising
there’s a you just start improvising
there’s a you just start improvising suddenly you realize that you stumble
suddenly you realize that you stumble
suddenly you realize that you stumble upon some of the best things that have
upon some of the best things that have
upon some of the best things that have ever happened to you or success is a
ever happened to you or success is a
ever happened to you or success is a little like a white tuxedo it looks good
little like a white tuxedo it looks good
little like a white tuxedo it looks good but you’re very afraid of getting it
but you’re very afraid of getting it
but you’re very afraid of getting it dirty and it can inhibit you he’s an
dirty and it can inhibit you he’s an
dirty and it can inhibit you he’s an American TV show host comedy writer and
American TV show host comedy writer and
American TV show host comedy writer and television producer he’s best known for
television producer he’s best known for
television producer he’s best known for hosting several late-night talk shows
hosting several late-night talk shows
hosting several late-night talk shows since 2010 he’s hosted Conan on the
since 2010 he’s hosted Conan on the
since 2010 he’s hosted Conan on the cable channel TBS
cable channel TBS
cable channel TBS he’s Conan O’Brien and here’s my take on
he’s Conan O’Brien and here’s my take on
he’s Conan O’Brien and here’s my take on his top ten rules for success rule
his top ten rules for success rule
his top ten rules for success rule number two is my personal favorite I
number two is my personal favorite I
number two is my personal favorite I make sure to stick around all the way to
make sure to stick around all the way to
make sure to stick around all the way to the end for some special bonus clips and
the end for some special bonus clips and
the end for some special bonus clips and as always if he says something that
as always if he says something that
as always if he says something that really resonates with you make sure to
really resonates with you make sure to
really resonates with you make sure to leave it in the comments below and put
leave it in the comments below and put
leave it in the comments below and put quotes around it so other people can be
quotes around it so other people can be
quotes around it so other people can be inspired as well
I think the secret to my career is I
I think the secret to my career is I don’t know what I can’t do do you know
don’t know what I can’t do do you know
don’t know what I can’t do do you know they’d be taught there are times when I
they’d be taught there are times when I
they’d be taught there are times when I should probably sit and think but I
should probably sit and think but I
should probably sit and think but I really want to jump you know jump out
really want to jump you know jump out
really want to jump you know jump out there with Phillip Seymour I mean with
there with Phillip Seymour I mean with
there with Phillip Seymour I mean with Riley and and and sing you know the
Riley and and and sing you know the
Riley and and and sing you know the night Chicago died or I really want to
night Chicago died or I really want to
night Chicago died or I really want to play the blues with little ed or you
play the blues with little ed or you
play the blues with little ed or you know and I you just do it you just do
know and I you just do it you just do
know and I you just do it you just do these things and and you become the
these things and and you become the
these things and and you become the audience wants you to do these things
audience wants you to do these things
audience wants you to do these things yeah I think what’s what’s I don’t know
yeah I think what’s what’s I don’t know
yeah I think what’s what’s I don’t know what it is but I think over the years
what it is but I think over the years
what it is but I think over the years people have gotten comfortable with the
people have gotten comfortable with the
people have gotten comfortable with the notion that I try things it’s almost
notion that I try things it’s almost
notion that I try things it’s almost cartoon-esque and they’re not worried
cartoon-esque and they’re not worried
cartoon-esque and they’re not worried about me do you know what I mean I think
about me do you know what I mean I think
about me do you know what I mean I think that’s the key people aren’t worried
that’s the key people aren’t worried
that’s the key people aren’t worried about me getting hurt because I can you
about me getting hurt because I can you
about me getting hurt because I can you know I’ll give it a hundred percent and
know I’ll give it a hundred percent and
know I’ll give it a hundred percent and then if it completely falls on its face
then if it completely falls on its face
then if it completely falls on its face I’ll laugh about it and move on and I
I’ll laugh about it and move on and I
I’ll laugh about it and move on and I think there’s a little bit of a sense
think there’s a little bit of a sense
think there’s a little bit of a sense after all these years people say you
after all these years people say you
after all these years people say you know all right he tried it maybe it
know all right he tried it maybe it
know all right he tried it maybe it worked maybe it didn’t work but he had a
worked maybe it didn’t work but he had a
worked maybe it didn’t work but he had a good time
good time
good time and for you you can come back the next
and for you you can come back the next
and for you you can come back the next night in the next night and the next
night in the next night and the next
night in the next night and the next night yeah I mean that’s you know the I
night yeah I mean that’s you know the I
night yeah I mean that’s you know the I don’t know there’s a there’s a there’s a
don’t know there’s a there’s a there’s a
don’t know there’s a there’s a there’s a over the years I’ve realized that there
over the years I’ve realized that there
over the years I’ve realized that there are a lot of comedians that are very you
are a lot of comedians that are very you
are a lot of comedians that are very you know worried about keeping their dignity
know worried about keeping their dignity
know worried about keeping their dignity intact you know and keeping their
intact you know and keeping their
intact you know and keeping their personal space and keeping their sense
personal space and keeping their sense
personal space and keeping their sense of authority and for better or worse and
of authority and for better or worse and
of authority and for better or worse and it might be worse I don’t have that you
it might be worse I don’t have that you
it might be worse I don’t have that you know you don’t I mean I’m not the people
know you don’t I mean I’m not the people
know you don’t I mean I’m not the people that I’ve always liked growing up and
that I’ve always liked growing up and
that I’ve always liked growing up and I’m not just talking about late-night
I’m not just talking about late-night
I’m not just talking about late-night means I’m talking about anybody in movie
means I’m talking about anybody in movie
means I’m talking about anybody in movie in film and you know the people I liked
in film and you know the people I liked
in film and you know the people I liked Peter Sellers they would let it all hang
Peter Sellers they would let it all hang
Peter Sellers they would let it all hang out he just go you know if you look at a
out he just go you know if you look at a
out he just go you know if you look at a lot of those old classic Carson Clips
lot of those old classic Carson Clips
lot of those old classic Carson Clips he’s jumping into hot tubs with done
he’s jumping into hot tubs with done
he’s jumping into hot tubs with done with Don Rickles he’s jumping through
with Don Rickles he’s jumping through
with Don Rickles he’s jumping through fake walls he’s you know he’s falling on
fake walls he’s you know he’s falling on
fake walls he’s you know he’s falling on his ass he’s dressed as Floyd turbot and
his ass he’s dressed as Floyd turbot and
his ass he’s dressed as Floyd turbot and you know so sometimes I look back to
you know so sometimes I look back to
you know so sometimes I look back to that and I remember
that and I remember
that and I remember well you know Johnny Johnny just just
well you know Johnny Johnny just just
well you know Johnny Johnny just just went for it so you know for better or
went for it so you know for better or
went for it so you know for better or worse you know I’ll try I’ll get out
worse you know I’ll try I’ll get out
worse you know I’ll try I’ll get out there and I’m very physical and I’m my
there and I’m very physical and I’m my
there and I’m very physical and I’m my wife is always horrified I’m always
wife is always horrified I’m always
wife is always horrified I’m always coming out of the shower just covered in
coming out of the shower just covered in
coming out of the shower just covered in bruises and she’ll say what was that
bruises and she’ll say what was that
bruises and she’ll say what was that I’ll say oh I did a bit you know we had
I’ll say oh I did a bit you know we had
I’ll say oh I did a bit you know we had you know Jeff Garlin on the show and he
you know Jeff Garlin on the show and he
you know Jeff Garlin on the show and he and I rolled down a flight of steps you
and I rolled down a flight of steps you
and I rolled down a flight of steps you know and I and I hit a fire hydrant what
know and I and I hit a fire hydrant what
know and I and I hit a fire hydrant what astounds me is how many young people
astounds me is how many young people
astounds me is how many young people come up to me and say Conan someday
come up to me and say Conan someday
come up to me and say Conan someday gonna be on your show man I say me too
gonna be on your show man I say me too
gonna be on your show man I say me too what do you what is it you do yeah they
what do you what is it you do yeah they
what do you what is it you do yeah they don’t know that’s the crazy thing most
don’t know that’s the crazy thing most
don’t know that’s the crazy thing most people it’s the Paris Hilton phenomenon
people it’s the Paris Hilton phenomenon
people it’s the Paris Hilton phenomenon they just want to be famous and they’ve
they just want to be famous and they’ve
they just want to be famous and they’ve actually seen it work they’ve seen a
actually seen it work they’ve seen a
actually seen it work they’ve seen a number they’ve seen someone get their
number they’ve seen someone get their
number they’ve seen someone get their resume famous for just being famous so
resume famous for just being famous so
resume famous for just being famous so that’s a little unsettling sometimes but
that’s a little unsettling sometimes but
that’s a little unsettling sometimes but mostly what what what I’ve noticed or
mostly what what what I’ve noticed or
mostly what what what I’ve noticed or what I would say to people is you’ve got
what I would say to people is you’ve got
what I would say to people is you’ve got to go to where they’re making the thing
to go to where they’re making the thing
to go to where they’re making the thing that you like and then work there in any
that you like and then work there in any
that you like and then work there in any capacity you know if you have to get
capacity you know if you have to get
capacity you know if you have to get coffee for somebody if you have to hold
coffee for somebody if you have to hold
coffee for somebody if you have to hold a cable if you have to stand there and
a cable if you have to stand there and
a cable if you have to stand there and volunteer go to where they’re making the
volunteer go to where they’re making the
volunteer go to where they’re making the thing that you that moves you that gets
thing that you that moves you that gets
thing that you that moves you that gets you excited and try and get close to it
you excited and try and get close to it
you excited and try and get close to it and I mean I remembered for years I was
and I mean I remembered for years I was
and I mean I remembered for years I was aware that I’m not doing the thing that
aware that I’m not doing the thing that
aware that I’m not doing the thing that is going to be my life’s work but I’m
is going to be my life’s work but I’m
is going to be my life’s work but I’m close I couldn’t you know I couldn’t
close I couldn’t you know I couldn’t
close I couldn’t you know I couldn’t even tell you exactly what it was but I
even tell you exactly what it was but I
even tell you exactly what it was but I knew I was close do you not I mean I was
knew I was close do you not I mean I was
knew I was close do you not I mean I was I knew when I was a writer at CERN out
I knew when I was a writer at CERN out
I knew when I was a writer at CERN out live this isn’t quite it but I’m close I
live this isn’t quite it but I’m close I
live this isn’t quite it but I’m close I knew when I was a writer in The Simpsons
knew when I was a writer in The Simpsons
knew when I was a writer in The Simpsons this is further away from it than I was
this is further away from it than I was
this is further away from it than I was at CERN that live I knew that I liked
at CERN that live I knew that I liked
at CERN that live I knew that I liked being around the live performing or the
being around the live performing or the
being around the live performing or the you know so I knew when I was close I
you know so I knew when I was close I
you know so I knew when I was close I just and and and that’s what I tell them
just and and and that’s what I tell them
just and and and that’s what I tell them is just go there and don’t have an ego
is just go there and don’t have an ego
is just go there and don’t have an ego about it there’s so many channels now so
about it there’s so many channels now so
about it there’s so many channels now so many stations just exactly what I tell
many stations just exactly what I tell
many stations just exactly what I tell them yeah and just get in the arena is
them yeah and just get in the arena is
them yeah and just get in the arena is the idea I mean if you get it a percent
the idea I mean if you get it a percent
the idea I mean if you get it a percent I was getting in the arena get in there
I was getting in the arena get in there
I was getting in the arena get in there and do it and and eventually it’s just
and do it and and eventually it’s just
and do it and and eventually it’s just the Brownian movement of molecules
the Brownian movement of molecules
the Brownian movement of molecules eventually you getting in there and
eventually you getting in there and
eventually you getting in there and doing putting yourself out there if you
doing putting yourself out there if you
doing putting yourself out there if you have something to
have something to
have something to for someone’s gonna see it at some point
for someone’s gonna see it at some point
for someone’s gonna see it at some point and you’re off and running so many
and you’re off and running so many
and you’re off and running so many people come up to me and say now that
people come up to me and say now that
people come up to me and say now that you’ve made it don’t you just want to
you’ve made it don’t you just want to
you’ve made it don’t you just want to stick it to some of those people and I
stick it to some of those people and I
stick it to some of those people and I think no because they weren’t wrong we
think no because they weren’t wrong we
think no because they weren’t wrong we had our problems in the beginning and
had our problems in the beginning and
had our problems in the beginning and you know I had to this had to be a long
you know I had to this had to be a long
you know I had to this had to be a long process that’s just the way it had to be
process that’s just the way it had to be
process that’s just the way it had to be and I prefer it this way I was raised
and I prefer it this way I was raised
and I prefer it this way I was raised Irish Catholic I have a sense of wanting
Irish Catholic I have a sense of wanting
Irish Catholic I have a sense of wanting to earn it and there was nothing that
to earn it and there was nothing that
to earn it and there was nothing that was more difficult than being proclaimed
was more difficult than being proclaimed
was more difficult than being proclaimed Letterman’s successor and having
Letterman’s successor and having
Letterman’s successor and having everybody have this uneasy sense of who
everybody have this uneasy sense of who
everybody have this uneasy sense of who is he should he have said we’re done and
is he should he have said we’re done and
is he should he have said we’re done and what has he ever done and why does he
what has he ever done and why does he
what has he ever done and why does he get to do this and maybe this whole
get to do this and maybe this whole
get to do this and maybe this whole process was just necessary this was my
process was just necessary this was my
process was just necessary this was my way of earning it and I and I I think
way of earning it and I and I I think
way of earning it and I and I I think some of a lot of the confidence I have
some of a lot of the confidence I have
some of a lot of the confidence I have on the air now is because I went through
on the air now is because I went through
on the air now is because I went through a very difficult period and there’s no
a very difficult period and there’s no
a very difficult period and there’s no nobody out there who can say gee you
nobody out there who can say gee you
nobody out there who can say gee you know he had it easy I mean I’m famous
know he had it easy I mean I’m famous
know he had it easy I mean I’m famous for for having to you know overcome a
for for having to you know overcome a
for for having to you know overcome a lot of obstacles in front of people on
lot of obstacles in front of people on
lot of obstacles in front of people on the air and so I’m comfortable with the
the air and so I’m comfortable with the
the air and so I’m comfortable with the way it all worked out when did you
way it all worked out when did you
way it all worked out when did you decide you could be professionally silly
decide you could be professionally silly
decide you could be professionally silly did you get a glimmer of that at Harvard
did you get a glimmer of that at Harvard
did you get a glimmer of that at Harvard yeah well the lamp painting was a big
yeah well the lamp painting was a big
yeah well the lamp painting was a big influence because I was you don’t learn
influence because I was you don’t learn
influence because I was you don’t learn to be funny you don’t learn to be silly
to be funny you don’t learn to be silly
to be funny you don’t learn to be silly a lot of what you are who you are you’re
a lot of what you are who you are you’re
a lot of what you are who you are you’re you’re in in some respects has decided I
you’re in in some respects has decided I
you’re in in some respects has decided I think early in life you get the basic
think early in life you get the basic
think early in life you get the basic ingredients to me when I was a kid and I
ingredients to me when I was a kid and I
ingredients to me when I was a kid and I think we all do this in one way or
think we all do this in one way or
think we all do this in one way or another I ran through the list what do I
another I ran through the list what do I
another I ran through the list what do I have you know what do I have what are my
have you know what do I have what are my
have you know what do I have what are my skills that will help me you know a not
skills that will help me you know a not
skills that will help me you know a not get picked on or beaten up and that’s in
get picked on or beaten up and that’s in
get picked on or beaten up and that’s in my own family and be that maybe get the
my own family and be that maybe get the
my own family and be that maybe get the attention of that girl I like those are
attention of that girl I like those are
attention of that girl I like those are the things that are operating on you and
the things that are operating on you and
the things that are operating on you and this very elemental level those are the
this very elemental level those are the
this very elemental level those are the things that you’re thinking about when
things that you’re thinking about when
things that you’re thinking about when you’re young and your kid am ia good
you’re young and your kid am ia good
you’re young and your kid am ia good athlete no I was a terrible athlete
athlete no I was a terrible athlete
athlete no I was a terrible athlete was I incredibly good-looking and all
was I incredibly good-looking and all
was I incredibly good-looking and all the girls liked me no I had this laundry
the girls liked me no I had this laundry
the girls liked me no I had this laundry list of things that would go through and
list of things that would go through and
list of things that would go through and then I had this one thing which is I
then I had this one thing which is I
then I had this one thing which is I could make people laugh and so what
could make people laugh and so what
could make people laugh and so what happens I think is you find the thing
happens I think is you find the thing
happens I think is you find the thing you’re good at and in my case it was so
you’re good at and in my case it was so
you’re good at and in my case it was so glaring it’s not like there were a
glaring it’s not like there were a
glaring it’s not like there were a million other things there was this one
million other things there was this one
million other things there was this one thing and if I had been a pretty good
thing and if I had been a pretty good
thing and if I had been a pretty good baseball player I wouldn’t be here today
baseball player I wouldn’t be here today
baseball player I wouldn’t be here today you know the fact is I had and so I I
you know the fact is I had and so I I
you know the fact is I had and so I I kept hyper developing you could say I
kept hyper developing you could say I
kept hyper developing you could say I was hyper developing a defense mechanism
was hyper developing a defense mechanism
was hyper developing a defense mechanism and then later on and if you look at a
and then later on and if you look at a
and then later on and if you look at a lot of artists out there that’s probably
lot of artists out there that’s probably
lot of artists out there that’s probably what a lot of them are doing my father
what a lot of them are doing my father
what a lot of them are doing my father who is here and is a brilliant guy once
who is here and is a brilliant guy once
who is here and is a brilliant guy once said to me I get it now you’re making
said to me I get it now you’re making
said to me I get it now you’re making your living off of something that should
your living off of something that should
your living off of something that should probably be treated and he’s right and
probably be treated and he’s right and
probably be treated and he’s right and then it’s here but a wealthy tear not
then it’s here but a wealthy tear not
then it’s here but a wealthy tear not important don’t pursue wealth
but that is something that I that I
but that is something that I that I think many of us do too in one respect
think many of us do too in one respect
think many of us do too in one respect or another is we we double down on the
or another is we we double down on the
or another is we we double down on the thing that we have that we have to offer
thing that we have that we have to offer
thing that we have that we have to offer you’re not you don’t consider yourself
you’re not you don’t consider yourself
you’re not you don’t consider yourself in the in the late-night Wars so to
in the in the late-night Wars so to
in the in the late-night Wars so to speak because you’re on at 12:30 rather
speak because you’re on at 12:30 rather
speak because you’re on at 12:30 rather than at 11:00 or 11:30 I I don’t I don’t
than at 11:00 or 11:30 I I don’t I don’t
than at 11:00 or 11:30 I I don’t I don’t feel that I you know sometimes I’ll bump
feel that I you know sometimes I’ll bump
feel that I you know sometimes I’ll bump into someone in the street and they’ll
into someone in the street and they’ll
into someone in the street and they’ll say hey good luck in your war against
say hey good luck in your war against
say hey good luck in your war against Dave and I’ll think I I have no problem
Dave and I’ll think I I have no problem
Dave and I’ll think I I have no problem I’m not I’m on after Dave he’s doing a
I’m not I’m on after Dave he’s doing a
I’m not I’m on after Dave he’s doing a good show and I wish him you know wish
good show and I wish him you know wish
good show and I wish him you know wish him well and I I don’t I’m not in
him well and I I don’t I’m not in
him well and I I don’t I’m not in competition with him I think you know
competition with him I think you know
competition with him I think you know sometimes I’ll see cartoons in the
sometimes I’ll see cartoons in the
sometimes I’ll see cartoons in the newspaper of I’m wearing boxing gloves
newspaper of I’m wearing boxing gloves
newspaper of I’m wearing boxing gloves and Dave’s wearing boxing gloves and
and Dave’s wearing boxing gloves and
and Dave’s wearing boxing gloves and Jays wear and I think we’re I’m not no
Jays wear and I think we’re I’m not no
Jays wear and I think we’re I’m not no I’m not boxing anybody but no I don’t
I’m not boxing anybody but no I don’t
I’m not boxing anybody but no I don’t really feel like I’m I don’t feel like
really feel like I’m I don’t feel like
really feel like I’m I don’t feel like I’m in competition with anyone else they
I’m in competition with anyone else they
I’m in competition with anyone else they most of all feel like I’m in competition
most of all feel like I’m in competition
most of all feel like I’m in competition with myself to do the best show I can do
with myself to do the best show I can do
with myself to do the best show I can do the last three and a half months has
the last three and a half months has
the last three and a half months has been all improvisation the groundswell
been all improvisation the groundswell
been all improvisation the groundswell of Internet support from a lot of young
of Internet support from a lot of young
of Internet support from a lot of young people that are in this room completely
people that are in this room completely
people that are in this room completely took my network by surprise they don’t
took my network by surprise they don’t
took my network by surprise they don’t know what hit them they’ve I think
know what hit them they’ve I think
know what hit them they’ve I think there’s a lot of people in broadcast
there’s a lot of people in broadcast
there’s a lot of people in broadcast television that are very dismissive or
television that are very dismissive or
television that are very dismissive or have been very dismissive about the
have been very dismissive about the
have been very dismissive about the Internet and they’re also afraid of it
Internet and they’re also afraid of it
Internet and they’re also afraid of it they and they tend to deride what they
they and they tend to deride what they
they and they tend to deride what they don’t understand so when this explosion
don’t understand so when this explosion
don’t understand so when this explosion happened on the internet when they
happened on the internet when they
happened on the internet when they announced that well okay maybe we’re
announced that well okay maybe we’re
announced that well okay maybe we’re gonna slide Conan over to accommodate
gonna slide Conan over to accommodate
gonna slide Conan over to accommodate this other gentleman who’s having his
this other gentleman who’s having his
this other gentleman who’s having his difficulties in another time period and
difficulties in another time period and
difficulties in another time period and I won’t get into specifics you’ll have
I won’t get into specifics you’ll have
I won’t get into specifics you’ll have to look it up
to look it up
to look it up and and I said you know what that
and and I said you know what that
and and I said you know what that doesn’t really work for me I think in a
doesn’t really work for me I think in a
doesn’t really work for me I think in a fairly polite way they there was
fairly polite way they there was
fairly polite way they there was suddenly a huge reaction from people you
suddenly a huge reaction from people you
suddenly a huge reaction from people you know some of the people in this room a
know some of the people in this room a
know some of the people in this room a lot of people like you across the
lot of people like you across the
lot of people like you across the country said wait a minute we like this
country said wait a minute we like this
country said wait a minute we like this person and this person kind of you know
person and this person kind of you know
person and this person kind of you know is is where we’re with him and they
is is where we’re with him and they
is is where we’re with him and they started reacting on the internet and the
started reacting on the internet and the
started reacting on the internet and the first thing that happened at my my
first thing that happened at my my
first thing that happened at my my employers they saw this huge explosion
employers they saw this huge explosion
employers they saw this huge explosion on the internet and they thought that I
on the internet and they thought that I
on the internet and they thought that I was doing it and they really had this
was doing it and they really had this
was doing it and they really had this attitude of make him stop why is he
attitude of make him stop why is he
attitude of make him stop why is he doing this and they just didn’t
doing this and they just didn’t
doing this and they just didn’t understand what was happening I think
understand what was happening I think
understand what was happening I think they still don’t understand what’s
they still don’t understand what’s
they still don’t understand what’s happening and my feeling is what I’ve
happening and my feeling is what I’ve
happening and my feeling is what I’ve learned is I had nowhere else to go so I
learned is I had nowhere else to go so I
learned is I had nowhere else to go so I started on Twitter because I literally
started on Twitter because I literally
started on Twitter because I literally had no other option I was I oh I was and
had no other option I was I oh I was and
had no other option I was I oh I was and am legally prohibited from appearing on
am legally prohibited from appearing on
am legally prohibited from appearing on television radio and doing performances
television radio and doing performances
television radio and doing performances on the Internet
on the Internet
on the Internet so it was just literally like a prisoner
so it was just literally like a prisoner
so it was just literally like a prisoner in a 14th century cell writing little
in a 14th century cell writing little
in a 14th century cell writing little things on a scrap of paper and throwing
things on a scrap of paper and throwing
things on a scrap of paper and throwing them out the window and hoping you know
them out the window and hoping you know
them out the window and hoping you know a peasant would go by and it would cease
a peasant would go by and it would cease
a peasant would go by and it would cease he’s in the tower so I started to do
he’s in the tower so I started to do
he’s in the tower so I started to do that and send out these little things
that and send out these little things
that and send out these little things and it exploded overnight and at first I
and it exploded overnight and at first I
and it exploded overnight and at first I started to hear a little bit of stuff
started to hear a little bit of stuff
started to hear a little bit of stuff from the other side saying well we’re
from the other side saying well we’re
from the other side saying well we’re not sure you should be able loud because
not sure you should be able loud because
not sure you should be able loud because of the and then they realized the
of the and then they realized the
of the and then they realized the absurdity of shutting down my Twitter
absurdity of shutting down my Twitter
absurdity of shutting down my Twitter account
account
account so that started with that and then I
so that started with that and then I
so that started with that and then I started to think about the tour which
started to think about the tour which
started to think about the tour which I’m allowed to do and so we started this
I’m allowed to do and so we started this
I’m allowed to do and so we started this idea for a tour and then what was
idea for a tour and then what was
idea for a tour and then what was fascinating is by the time we launched
fascinating is by the time we launched
fascinating is by the time we launched the tour or announced the tour I did not
the tour or announced the tour I did not
the tour or announced the tour I did not do one I didn’t spend one penny on
do one I didn’t spend one penny on
do one I didn’t spend one penny on advertising I sent out one tweet that
advertising I sent out one tweet that
advertising I sent out one tweet that directed people to a website where you
directed people to a website where you
directed people to a website where you could buy your ticket that was it and
could buy your ticket that was it and
could buy your ticket that was it and the show sold out in a couple of hours
the show sold out in a couple of hours
the show sold out in a couple of hours across the country and that’s got
across the country and that’s got
across the country and that’s got everybody a lot of people rethinking how
everybody a lot of people rethinking how
everybody a lot of people rethinking how things are marketed and I didn’t there’s
things are marketed and I didn’t there’s
things are marketed and I didn’t there’s not one billboard there’s not I didn’t
not one billboard there’s not I didn’t
not one billboard there’s not I didn’t have to go to one radio station and sit
have to go to one radio station and sit
have to go to one radio station and sit with morning DJ’s like you know and hock
with morning DJ’s like you know and hock
with morning DJ’s like you know and hock my show I didn’t have to do any of that
my show I didn’t have to do any of that
my show I didn’t have to do any of that it was one tweet and I think people are
it was one tweet and I think people are
it was one tweet and I think people are starting to understand that the world
starting to understand that the world
starting to understand that the world has completely changed and you know it
has completely changed and you know it
has completely changed and you know it has it is thankfully and I think we can
has it is thankfully and I think we can
has it is thankfully and I think we can do better
do better
do better sorry I’d that was great oh god I wasn’t
sorry I’d that was great oh god I wasn’t
sorry I’d that was great oh god I wasn’t running for something but but I think
running for something but but I think
running for something but but I think that’s what’s uh what what are the
that’s what’s uh what what are the
that’s what’s uh what what are the biggest lesson that I’ve learned in the
biggest lesson that I’ve learned in the
biggest lesson that I’ve learned in the last three and a half months is just a
last three and a half months is just a
last three and a half months is just a good life lesson and I’m not trying to
good life lesson and I’m not trying to
good life lesson and I’m not trying to sound corny or anything but these things
sound corny or anything but these things
sound corny or anything but these things happen to you and you think you’ve been
happen to you and you think you’ve been
happen to you and you think you’ve been dealt a terrible hand you’ve had bad
dealt a terrible hand you’ve had bad
dealt a terrible hand you’ve had bad luck and when you just go with it
luck and when you just go with it
luck and when you just go with it there’s a you just start improvising
there’s a you just start improvising
there’s a you just start improvising suddenly you realize that you stumble
suddenly you realize that you stumble
suddenly you realize that you stumble upon some of the best things that have
upon some of the best things that have
upon some of the best things that have ever happened to you and what’s
ever happened to you and what’s
ever happened to you and what’s interesting about Twitter is that
interesting about Twitter is that
interesting about Twitter is that because you’re limited to I think it’s a
because you’re limited to I think it’s a
because you’re limited to I think it’s a hundred and forty characters someone’s
hundred and forty characters someone’s
hundred and forty characters someone’s going to correct me right now so
um you’re all gonna rush the stage beat
um you’re all gonna rush the stage beat the crap out of me but because you’re
the crap out of me but because you’re
the crap out of me but because you’re limited it’s actually a great comedy
limited it’s actually a great comedy
limited it’s actually a great comedy writing tool you’re forced there’s this
writing tool you’re forced there’s this
writing tool you’re forced there’s this economy of words so I’m constantly
economy of words so I’m constantly
economy of words so I’m constantly writing things and then I run them past
writing things and then I run them past
writing things and then I run them past Blair big bleh who’s taking the pictures
Blair big bleh who’s taking the pictures
Blair big bleh who’s taking the pictures over there as if he doesn’t have enough
over there as if he doesn’t have enough
over there as if he doesn’t have enough photos of me but but but and he’ll say
photos of me but but but and he’ll say
photos of me but but but and he’ll say like well let’s you know that’s actually
like well let’s you know that’s actually
like well let’s you know that’s actually three words over and it forces you to
three words over and it forces you to
three words over and it forces you to look back at the sentence and it’s it
look back at the sentence and it’s it
look back at the sentence and it’s it forces you to crystallize your comedy
forces you to crystallize your comedy
forces you to crystallize your comedy idea which is fascinating and the other
idea which is fascinating and the other
idea which is fascinating and the other thing is I’ve been this whole tour
thing is I’ve been this whole tour
thing is I’ve been this whole tour wouldn’t have happened this tour is a
wouldn’t have happened this tour is a
wouldn’t have happened this tour is a dream come true for me I’ve always
dream come true for me I’ve always
dream come true for me I’ve always wanted to it’s half rock show half
wanted to it’s half rock show half
wanted to it’s half rock show half comedy show and then it’s this fantasy
comedy show and then it’s this fantasy
comedy show and then it’s this fantasy to get to do this so the last three and
to get to do this so the last three and
to get to do this so the last three and a half months have been the most
a half months have been the most
a half months have been the most interesting time in my entire career and
interesting time in my entire career and
interesting time in my entire career and I wouldn’t have traded this for anything
I wouldn’t have traded this for anything
I wouldn’t have traded this for anything in the world and so three and a half
in the world and so three and a half
in the world and so three and a half months ago what looked to everybody like
months ago what looked to everybody like
months ago what looked to everybody like bad luck has become amazingly good luck
bad luck has become amazingly good luck
bad luck has become amazingly good luck and I think that is a lot of what we’re
and I think that is a lot of what we’re
and I think that is a lot of what we’re what relates to everybody here you’re a
what relates to everybody here you’re a
what relates to everybody here you’re a lot of you were in your 20s and you take
lot of you were in your 20s and you take
lot of you were in your 20s and you take for granted that well this is what the
for granted that well this is what the
for granted that well this is what the way the world is right now but from my
way the world is right now but from my
way the world is right now but from my perspective it’s changed dramatically in
perspective it’s changed dramatically in
perspective it’s changed dramatically in just seven years and I don’t even know
just seven years and I don’t even know
just seven years and I don’t even know where we’re gonna be five years from now
where we’re gonna be five years from now
where we’re gonna be five years from now so I don’t know what television is gonna
so I don’t know what television is gonna
so I don’t know what television is gonna be five years from now there’s a lot of
be five years from now there’s a lot of
be five years from now there’s a lot of people that think you’re just gonna
people that think you’re just gonna
people that think you’re just gonna experience it all through your server
experience it all through your server
experience it all through your server and people don’t even know how the
and people don’t even know how the
and people don’t even know how the business is going to change there might
business is going to change there might
business is going to change there might not be really network television as we
not be really network television as we
not be really network television as we know it so you know I mean there’s just
know it so you know I mean there’s just
know it so you know I mean there’s just who knows so you know
who knows so you know
who knows so you know seize the day carpe diem I hate it when
seize the day carpe diem I hate it when
seize the day carpe diem I hate it when people say carpe diem I really do I just
people say carpe diem I really do I just
people say carpe diem I really do I just wanted to work it in I’m gonna keep
wanted to work it in I’m gonna keep
wanted to work it in I’m gonna keep talking to you ask me another question
talking to you ask me another question
talking to you ask me another question expect difficulties is something I think
expect difficulties is something I think
expect difficulties is something I think everybody in this room has gotten into
everybody in this room has gotten into
everybody in this room has gotten into Harvard some of you will probably are
Harvard some of you will probably are
Harvard some of you will probably are here snuck in but I don’t care let’s
here snuck in but I don’t care let’s
here snuck in but I don’t care let’s just say for a point of argument that
just say for a point of argument that
just say for a point of argument that everybody here got into Harvard and you
everybody here got into Harvard and you
everybody here got into Harvard and you feel this incredible press
feel this incredible press
feel this incredible press to succeed and I gave a speech here back
to succeed and I gave a speech here back
to succeed and I gave a speech here back in 2000 and at the end I said famous a
in 2000 and at the end I said famous a
in 2000 and at the end I said famous a little like a white tuxedo it looks good
little like a white tuxedo it looks good
little like a white tuxedo it looks good or success is a little like a white
or success is a little like a white
or success is a little like a white tuxedo it looks good but you’re very
tuxedo it looks good but you’re very
tuxedo it looks good but you’re very afraid of getting it dirty and it can
afraid of getting it dirty and it can
afraid of getting it dirty and it can inhibit you and I think I would tell my
inhibit you and I think I would tell my
inhibit you and I think I would tell my 19 year old self that everything you’re
19 year old self that everything you’re
19 year old self that everything you’re feeling right now I used to think that
feeling right now I used to think that
feeling right now I used to think that if I could look at someone like myself I
if I could look at someone like myself I
if I could look at someone like myself I thought they had figured it all out and
thought they had figured it all out and
thought they had figured it all out and they were fine and wouldn’t it be
they were fine and wouldn’t it be
they were fine and wouldn’t it be magical if I could be had my own show
magical if I could be had my own show
magical if I could be had my own show and be funny and everyone knew who I was
and be funny and everyone knew who I was
and be funny and everyone knew who I was and most people liked it that would be a
and most people liked it that would be a
and most people liked it that would be a great thing and it would solve all my
great thing and it would solve all my
great thing and it would solve all my problems and I would like my future self
problems and I would like my future self
problems and I would like my future self to say that’s not the case it’s actually
to say that’s not the case it’s actually
to say that’s not the case it’s actually day by day how you do your work how you
day by day how you do your work how you
day by day how you do your work how you conduct yourself how you treat people
conduct yourself how you treat people
conduct yourself how you treat people you know what the joy you get out of
you know what the joy you get out of
you know what the joy you get out of your work that that is far more
your work that that is far more
your work that that is far more important and I’m not saying that as
important and I’m not saying that as
important and I’m not saying that as like to try and take away from I’m
like to try and take away from I’m
like to try and take away from I’m really proud of some of the things I’ve
really proud of some of the things I’ve
really proud of some of the things I’ve achieved but I wish I had not put myself
achieved but I wish I had not put myself
achieved but I wish I had not put myself so low on the totem pole when I was 18
so low on the totem pole when I was 18
so low on the totem pole when I was 18 or 19 years old and thought that these
or 19 years old and thought that these
or 19 years old and thought that these other people who were sitting up on
other people who were sitting up on
other people who were sitting up on stage talking knew so much more than me
stage talking knew so much more than me
stage talking knew so much more than me and had happy problem free lives because
and had happy problem free lives because
and had happy problem free lives because that’s not true you know I’m not saying
that’s not true you know I’m not saying
that’s not true you know I’m not saying that to depress you I’m actually trying
that to depress you I’m actually trying
that to depress you I’m actually trying to say that as a way to sort of liberate
to say that as a way to sort of liberate
to say that as a way to sort of liberate yourself a little bit you know it’s not
yourself a little bit you know it’s not
yourself a little bit you know it’s not allow for mistakes allow for problems
allow for mistakes allow for problems
allow for mistakes allow for problems I’ve had my career blow up on me about
I’ve had my career blow up on me about
I’ve had my career blow up on me about two different times and I’m still here
two different times and I’m still here
two different times and I’m still here and very grateful and I learned a lot
and very grateful and I learned a lot
and very grateful and I learned a lot during those moments and wouldn’t really
during those moments and wouldn’t really
during those moments and wouldn’t really change a thing about any of it and so I
change a thing about any of it and so I
change a thing about any of it and so I think Harvard is great as it is can
think Harvard is great as it is can
think Harvard is great as it is can sometimes instill and I don’t think it’s
sometimes instill and I don’t think it’s
sometimes instill and I don’t think it’s no one’s telling you this it’s just
no one’s telling you this it’s just
no one’s telling you this it’s just subliminal it what comes a lot of you
subliminal it what comes a lot of you
subliminal it what comes a lot of you have this is I have to do great things
have this is I have to do great things
have this is I have to do great things and I need to succeed and you just have
and I need to succeed and you just have
and I need to succeed and you just have to be willing to screw up and not
to be willing to screw up and not
to be willing to screw up and not freak out when you do screw up because
freak out when you do screw up because
freak out when you do screw up because you will screw up I mean you’re really
you will screw up I mean you’re really
you will screw up I mean you’re really gonna screw up it’s in a week
gonna screw up it’s in a week
gonna screw up it’s in a week we’ll talk later I think what’s what I
we’ll talk later I think what’s what I
we’ll talk later I think what’s what I what I’m doing is I made a conscious
what I’m doing is I made a conscious
what I’m doing is I made a conscious decision I’m not gonna try and do what
decision I’m not gonna try and do what
decision I’m not gonna try and do what they do I’m not gonna I didn’t spend the
they do I’m not gonna I didn’t spend the
they do I’m not gonna I didn’t spend the summer going to comedy clubs I’m a real
summer going to comedy clubs I’m a real
summer going to comedy clubs I’m a real person I’m just gonna go out there and
person I’m just gonna go out there and
person I’m just gonna go out there and say things that I think are funny and
say things that I think are funny and
say things that I think are funny and and just be Conan and I think that
and just be Conan and I think that
and just be Conan and I think that that’s so far I go out there and I’ll
that’s so far I go out there and I’ll
that’s so far I go out there and I’ll tell a few jokes or stories every night
tell a few jokes or stories every night
tell a few jokes or stories every night and the audience laughs and they’re
and the audience laughs and they’re
and the audience laughs and they’re things that I think are funny and I
things that I think are funny and I
things that I think are funny and I think I’m presenting them you know in a
think I’m presenting them you know in a
think I’m presenting them you know in a way that’s honest in a way that it’s
way that’s honest in a way that it’s
way that’s honest in a way that it’s it’s just Conan it’s just Conan talking
it’s just Conan it’s just Conan talking
it’s just Conan it’s just Conan talking and that’s all I’ve ever wanted from
and that’s all I’ve ever wanted from
and that’s all I’ve ever wanted from this show I just want this show to be my
this show I just want this show to be my
this show I just want this show to be my only goal is that I get myself out there
only goal is that I get myself out there
only goal is that I get myself out there a hundred percent if people don’t like
a hundred percent if people don’t like
a hundred percent if people don’t like that and don’t accept that I’ll say well
that and don’t accept that I’ll say well
that and don’t accept that I’ll say well that’s all I can do but sometimes it’s
that’s all I can do but sometimes it’s
that’s all I can do but sometimes it’s even hard to do that I mean it’s hard to
even hard to do that I mean it’s hard to
even hard to do that I mean it’s hard to make sure that you are natural and
make sure that you are natural and
make sure that you are natural and comfortable and that you are that’s what
comfortable and that you are that’s what
comfortable and that you are that’s what takes time I mean it took it took Dave a
takes time I mean it took it took Dave a
takes time I mean it took it took Dave a while it’s gonna take me a while to it’s
while it’s gonna take me a while to it’s
while it’s gonna take me a while to it’s a very strange thing to say what we’d
a very strange thing to say what we’d
a very strange thing to say what we’d like you to do is go out there and just
like you to do is go out there and just
like you to do is go out there and just be yourself completely uninhibited on a
be yourself completely uninhibited on a
be yourself completely uninhibited on a set in front of cameras 200 people in
set in front of cameras 200 people in
set in front of cameras 200 people in the audience and we’ll critique you
the audience and we’ll critique you
the audience and we’ll critique you every night and and and critics will
every night and and and critics will
every night and and and critics will watch for when you rub your fingers
watch for when you rub your fingers
watch for when you rub your fingers together or touch your nose or anything
together or touch your nose or anything
together or touch your nose or anything like that and I think that that’s it
like that and I think that that’s it
like that and I think that that’s it takes a little while to become
takes a little while to become
takes a little while to become completely unselfconscious in that
completely unselfconscious in that
completely unselfconscious in that environment how is it different today
environment how is it different today
environment how is it different today and doing your show like night than it
and doing your show like night than it
and doing your show like night than it was 10 years ago
was 10 years ago
was 10 years ago are you more instinctive are you more do
are you more instinctive are you more do
are you more instinctive are you more do you think less about it and just do
you think less about it and just do
you think less about it and just do muscle memory it is used to it might be
muscle memory it is used to it might be
muscle memory it is used to it might be laughs when you crunch down your and
laughs when you crunch down your and
laughs when you crunch down your and you’re constantly trying to learn you’re
you’re constantly trying to learn you’re
you’re constantly trying to learn you’re you’re constantly you’re still thinking
you’re constantly you’re still thinking
you’re constantly you’re still thinking but your ratio of thinking to acting is
but your ratio of thinking to acting is
but your ratio of thinking to acting is very different you know you’re at the
very different you know you’re at the
very different you know you’re at the beginning I was thinking about it this
beginning I was thinking about it this
beginning I was thinking about it this much yeah you know in my cognitive brain
much yeah you know in my cognitive brain
much yeah you know in my cognitive brain and then there was this much just
and then there was this much just
and then there was this much just whatever a thin read of talent you have
whatever a thin read of talent you have
whatever a thin read of talent you have is
is
is there and then you’re thinking about the
there and then you’re thinking about the
there and then you’re thinking about the rest and then over the years I think you
rest and then over the years I think you
rest and then over the years I think you know they always say the reptile brain
know they always say the reptile brain
know they always say the reptile brain you the reptile portion of your brain is
you the reptile portion of your brain is
you the reptile portion of your brain is where you you know respiration heartbeat
where you you know respiration heartbeat
where you you know respiration heartbeat right that’s the stuff that even if
right that’s the stuff that even if
right that’s the stuff that even if you’re knocked unconscious it’s still
you’re knocked unconscious it’s still
you’re knocked unconscious it’s still working
working
working I really believe a lot of my talk show
I really believe a lot of my talk show
I really believe a lot of my talk show or comedy instincts are now in my
or comedy instincts are now in my
or comedy instincts are now in my reptile brain that you could knock me
reptile brain that you could knock me
reptile brain that you could knock me out and it’s nice heart would still beat
out and it’s nice heart would still beat
out and it’s nice heart would still beat I’d still breathe and I’d still be
I’d still breathe and I’d still be
I’d still breathe and I’d still be asking Lindsey Lowen you know stupid
asking Lindsey Lowen you know stupid
asking Lindsey Lowen you know stupid question you have become some way as you
question you have become some way as you
question you have become some way as you part of your D it’s become part of your
part of your D it’s become part of your
part of your D it’s become part of your DNA yeah I mean I think a lot of it is
DNA yeah I mean I think a lot of it is
DNA yeah I mean I think a lot of it is you have to have some ability but then
you have to have some ability but then
you have to have some ability but then it’s just how much will I really do
it’s just how much will I really do
it’s just how much will I really do think there’s just think people
think there’s just think people
think there’s just think people underestimate it doesn’t sound sexy
underestimate it doesn’t sound sexy
underestimate it doesn’t sound sexy it doesn’t sound cool how much don’t
it doesn’t sound cool how much don’t
it doesn’t sound cool how much don’t want it work ethic you know and just how
want it work ethic you know and just how
want it work ethic you know and just how badly do you want it and there’s been
badly do you want it and there’s been
badly do you want it and there’s been you know many times in the you know
you know many times in the you know
you know many times in the you know throughout the years of doing my show
throughout the years of doing my show
throughout the years of doing my show where I’ve thought you could shoot me in
where I’ve thought you could shoot me in
where I’ve thought you could shoot me in the chest before I walk out there and
the chest before I walk out there and
the chest before I walk out there and I’ll still walk out there and do that
I’ll still walk out there and do that
I’ll still walk out there and do that show and then I’ll come back stage and
show and then I’ll come back stage and
show and then I’ll come back stage and die but we’re doing that show it’s been
die but we’re doing that show it’s been
die but we’re doing that show it’s been a lifelong do you mind to touch your
a lifelong do you mind to touch your
a lifelong do you mind to touch your hair so
yeah about you working here I solve that
yeah about you working here I solve that problem but guys no more touching
problem but guys no more touching
problem but guys no more touching questions please are you talking about
questions please are you talking about
questions please are you talking about yes let’s touch it up all right you know
yes let’s touch it up all right you know
yes let’s touch it up all right you know I’m sorry I feel really crass I don’t
I’m sorry I feel really crass I don’t
I’m sorry I feel really crass I don’t even know your name
even know your name
even know your name can I just know your name later on my
can I just know your name later on my
can I just know your name later on my wife’s gonna be like what happened I
wife’s gonna be like what happened I
wife’s gonna be like what happened I don’t know I don’t even know her name
don’t know I don’t even know her name
don’t know I don’t even know her name what did you do we rubbed our heads
what did you do we rubbed our heads
what did you do we rubbed our heads together what is your name hi Kelly
together what is your name hi Kelly
together what is your name hi Kelly we should have done this before we
we should have done this before we
we should have done this before we rubbed up against Conan O’Brien here now
rubbed up against Conan O’Brien here now
rubbed up against Conan O’Brien here now a lot of people have been calling me out
a lot of people have been calling me out
a lot of people have been calling me out on this ALS ice bucket challenge I just
on this ALS ice bucket challenge I just
on this ALS ice bucket challenge I just want to say I accept this sounds like a
want to say I accept this sounds like a
want to say I accept this sounds like a really sweet deal apparently if I get
really sweet deal apparently if I get
really sweet deal apparently if I get ice water poured on my head ALS will
ice water poured on my head ALS will
ice water poured on my head ALS will then pay me $100 that’s a pretty sweet
then pay me $100 that’s a pretty sweet
then pay me $100 that’s a pretty sweet deal let’s do it all right
wow that was cold
wow that was cold okay ALS send the cheque to Conan
okay ALS send the cheque to Conan
okay ALS send the cheque to Conan O’Brien clear the accountancy firm
O’Brien clear the accountancy firm
O’Brien clear the accountancy firm everybody hello hello you don’t get paid
everybody hello hello you don’t get paid
everybody hello hello you don’t get paid you get dunked and pay okay this is a
you get dunked and pay okay this is a
you get dunked and pay okay this is a charity why would I do both why would
charity why would I do both why would
charity why would I do both why would anyone we give you $100 if I get a lot
anyone we give you $100 if I get a lot
anyone we give you $100 if I get a lot of ice cold water poured on it’s a
of ice cold water poured on it’s a
of ice cold water poured on it’s a charity they’re not gonna give you do I
charity they’re not gonna give you do I
charity they’re not gonna give you do I don’t get paid anything you need $100
don’t get paid anything you need $100
don’t get paid anything you need $100 just you and really need $100 fix Hey
just you and really need $100 fix Hey
just you and really need $100 fix Hey well guess what psych ALS check this out
well guess what psych ALS check this out
well guess what psych ALS check this out plastic ice
plastic ice
plastic ice water was a balmy 92 degrees I felt
water was a balmy 92 degrees I felt
water was a balmy 92 degrees I felt nothing in your okay you got a challenge
nothing in your okay you got a challenge
nothing in your okay you got a challenge people oh yeah challenge a challenge to
people oh yeah challenge a challenge to
people oh yeah challenge a challenge to me Carter
me Carter
me Carter Pele Haley Joel Osment
thank you guys so much for watching I
thank you guys so much for watching I made this video because David mayor’s
made this video because David mayor’s
made this video because David mayor’s asked me to so if there’s a famous
asked me to so if there’s a famous
asked me to so if there’s a famous entrepreneur
entrepreneur
entrepreneur you want me to profile next leave it
you want me to profile next leave it
you want me to profile next leave it down in the comments below and I’ll see
down in the comments below and I’ll see
down in the comments below and I’ll see what I can do
what I can do
what I can do I’d love to know what did Conan say that
I’d love to know what did Conan say that
I’d love to know what did Conan say that really inspired you or motivated you or
really inspired you or motivated you or
really inspired you or motivated you or had an impact on you what was the most
had an impact on you what was the most
had an impact on you what was the most important message you got from this
important message you got from this
important message you got from this video leave it down in the comments
video leave it down in the comments
video leave it down in the comments below I’m gonna join in the discussion
below I’m gonna join in the discussion
below I’m gonna join in the discussion thank you guys so much for watching I
thank you guys so much for watching I
thank you guys so much for watching I believe in you I hope you believe in
believe in you I hope you believe in
believe in you I hope you believe in yourself and whatever you’re one where
yourself and whatever you’re one where
yourself and whatever you’re one where it is I’ll see you soon
moment you were actually part of I was
moment you were actually part of I was on the air for about you know two months
on the air for about you know two months
on the air for about you know two months I think and Chevy Chase had just been
I think and Chevy Chase had just been
I think and Chevy Chase had just been canceled and my staff was happy they
canceled and my staff was happy they
canceled and my staff was happy they said Oh at least we’ve outlasted Chevy
said Oh at least we’ve outlasted Chevy
said Oh at least we’ve outlasted Chevy Chase and I remembered saying you don’t
Chase and I remembered saying you don’t
Chase and I remembered saying you don’t understand the critics just destroyed
understand the critics just destroyed
understand the critics just destroyed one show there’s blood in the water now
one show there’s blood in the water now
one show there’s blood in the water now they’re gonna look who’s next in line
they’re gonna look who’s next in line
they’re gonna look who’s next in line they don’t have to look you know very
they don’t have to look you know very
they don’t have to look you know very far I mean David let have been replaced
far I mean David let have been replaced
far I mean David let have been replaced by this guy from total obscurity and the
by this guy from total obscurity and the
by this guy from total obscurity and the show had a lot of flaws they weren’t
show had a lot of flaws they weren’t
show had a lot of flaws they weren’t wrong I was new and was making rookie
wrong I was new and was making rookie
wrong I was new and was making rookie mistakes on the air so they came looking
mistakes on the air so they came looking
mistakes on the air so they came looking for me and I was on this show I don’t
for me and I was on this show I don’t
for me and I was on this show I don’t thinking it’s maybe october/november
thinking it’s maybe october/november
thinking it’s maybe october/november fact it wasn’t you know nineteen
fact it wasn’t you know nineteen
fact it wasn’t you know nineteen ninety-three hadn’t been on long you had
ninety-three hadn’t been on long you had
ninety-three hadn’t been on long you had me on the program and we shot it in the
me on the program and we shot it in the
me on the program and we shot it in the morning and you started the interview by
morning and you started the interview by
morning and you started the interview by saying Conan I don’t know if you’ve seen
saying Conan I don’t know if you’ve seen
saying Conan I don’t know if you’ve seen the Washington Post this morning but Tom
the Washington Post this morning but Tom
the Washington Post this morning but Tom Shales reviewed your show and then you
Shales reviewed your show and then you
Shales reviewed your show and then you started to read this review little thing
started to read this review little thing
started to read this review little thing to do well yeah I respected you for
to do well yeah I respected you for
to do well yeah I respected you for doing it at the time that’s how I get
doing it at the time that’s how I get
doing it at the time that’s how I get most of my information being told by
most of my information being told by
most of my information being told by other talk show hosts and so I I read
other talk show hosts and so I I read
other talk show hosts and so I I read the review and then went back to my
the review and then went back to my
the review and then went back to my office and climbed underneath the desk
office and climbed underneath the desk
office and climbed underneath the desk in my office and lay down for a while
in my office and lay down for a while
in my office and lay down for a while put a blanket over here I know I did I
put a blanket over here I know I did I
put a blanket over here I know I did I just laid down and I have very long legs
just laid down and I have very long legs
just laid down and I have very long legs and they stuck up from underneath the
and they stuck up from underneath the
and they stuck up from underneath the desk and the word got around the office
desk and the word got around the office
desk and the word got around the office the owner is on the floor underneath his
the owner is on the floor underneath his
the owner is on the floor underneath his desk and I remembered there being a lot
desk and I remembered there being a lot
desk and I remembered there being a lot of murmuring and then the producer of
of murmuring and then the producer of
of murmuring and then the producer of our show Jeff Ross leaning in and said
our show Jeff Ross leaning in and said
our show Jeff Ross leaning in and said you okay I went I’m okay I’m just under
you okay I went I’m okay I’m just under
you okay I went I’m okay I’m just under my desk but then I’ll get out and then
my desk but then I’ll get out and then
my desk but then I’ll get out and then from there I really do believe that I
from there I really do believe that I
from there I really do believe that I wanted to do this show more than anybody
wanted to do this show more than anybody
wanted to do this show more than anybody else didn’t want me to and I knew we had
else didn’t want me to and I knew we had
else didn’t want me to and I knew we had the elements I knew that we had all the
the elements I knew that we had all the
the elements I knew that we had all the elements of a good show I had a very
elements of a good show I had a very
elements of a good show I had a very creative and still have a very creative
creative and still have a very creative
creative and still have a very creative and adventurous writing staff and
and adventurous writing staff and
and adventurous writing staff and directors a very funny guy and there’s
directors a very funny guy and there’s
directors a very funny guy and there’s not a presence like him on television
not a presence like him on television
not a presence like him on television the Max Weinberg 7 is an amazing band
the Max Weinberg 7 is an amazing band
the Max Weinberg 7 is an amazing band that can play swing music but can also
that can play swing music but can also
that can play swing music but can also play rockabilly they can play funk they
play rockabilly they can play funk they
play rockabilly they can play funk they can do anything
can do anything
can do anything and I knew that we have all the elements
and I knew that we have all the elements
and I knew that we have all the elements and I knew that I had the elements they
and I knew that I had the elements they
and I knew that I had the elements they just weren’t all there yet it’s like a
just weren’t all there yet it’s like a
just weren’t all there yet it’s like a baby skull has to come together isn’t
baby skull has to come together isn’t
baby skull has to come together isn’t that a nice baby skull yeah I like a
that a nice baby skull yeah I like a
that a nice baby skull yeah I like a baby I think I told you the time as you
baby I think I told you the time as you
baby I think I told you the time as you reminded me just to stay on the field I
reminded me just to stay on the field I
reminded me just to stay on the field I say you told me you said remember what
say you told me you said remember what
say you told me you said remember what Joe DiMaggio said stay on the field and
Joe DiMaggio said stay on the field and
Joe DiMaggio said stay on the field and at the time I walked out of here and
at the time I walked out of here and
at the time I walked out of here and said what an ass what an idiot what’s he
said what an ass what an idiot what’s he
said what an ass what an idiot what’s he talking about amazed at my job both of
talking about amazed at my job both of
talking about amazed at my job both of you I love you both together I’ve
you I love you both together I’ve
you I love you both together I’ve contempt for anyone who’s achieved
contempt for anyone who’s achieved
contempt for anyone who’s achieved anything but no but but it was it’s good
anything but no but but it was it’s good
anything but no but but it was it’s good advice which is keep doing your show and
advice which is keep doing your show and
advice which is keep doing your show and the network put me through my paces a
the network put me through my paces a
the network put me through my paces a bit and they put me through some things
bit and they put me through some things
bit and they put me through some things one week extensions yeah they they they
one week extensions yeah they they they
one week extensions yeah they they they I was being renewed hourly at one point
I was being renewed hourly at one point
I was being renewed hourly at one point you can go you can do this show but no
you can go you can do this show but no
you can go you can do this show but no more right making any promises forty
more right making any promises forty
more right making any promises forty minutes if you’re still a talk show I’m
minutes if you’re still a talk show I’m
minutes if you’re still a talk show I’m a jerk you’re doing this show but there
a jerk you’re doing this show but there
a jerk you’re doing this show but there you go
you go
you go but I remembered a lot of people saying
but I remembered a lot of people saying
but I remembered a lot of people saying at the time well I wouldn’t stand for
at the time well I wouldn’t stand for
at the time well I wouldn’t stand for that I’d walk out I remember thinking no
that I’d walk out I remember thinking no
that I’d walk out I remember thinking no I’m gonna stay here and do my show and
I’m gonna stay here and do my show and
I’m gonna stay here and do my show and people are eventually going to see that
people are eventually going to see that
people are eventually going to see that we’ve got something here and I’m gonna
we’ve got something here and I’m gonna
we’ve got something here and I’m gonna get better at this I do things I have
get better at this I do things I have
get better at this I do things I have tics and mannerisms and I think
tics and mannerisms and I think
tics and mannerisms and I think sometimes there’s a tendency these days
sometimes there’s a tendency these days
sometimes there’s a tendency these days to think we’ve got to get rid of all of
to think we’ve got to get rid of all of
to think we’ve got to get rid of all of those and be just a completely smooth
those and be just a completely smooth
those and be just a completely smooth plastic performer and what I think is
plastic performer and what I think is
plastic performer and what I think is nice is no my voice isn’t perfect for TV
nice is no my voice isn’t perfect for TV
nice is no my voice isn’t perfect for TV I mean can’t you tell it’s there are
I mean can’t you tell it’s there are
I mean can’t you tell it’s there are things about me that aren’t that that
things about me that aren’t that that
things about me that aren’t that that aren’t perfect for TV there are times
aren’t perfect for TV there are times
aren’t perfect for TV there are times when you can see that I’m just you know
when you can see that I’m just you know
when you can see that I’m just you know a little thrown or you can see that I
a little thrown or you can see that I
a little thrown or you can see that I have a you know that I you know touch my
have a you know that I you know touch my
have a you know that I you know touch my nose or I do something like that and
nose or I do something like that and
nose or I do something like that and sometimes I think don’t get rid of all
sometimes I think don’t get rid of all
sometimes I think don’t get rid of all that and in a way I think I’m just a
that and in a way I think I’m just a
that and in a way I think I’m just a real person and it doesn’t you authentic
real person and it doesn’t you authentic
real person and it doesn’t you authentic yeah I think it’s it’s real if this
yeah I think it’s it’s real if this
yeah I think it’s it’s real if this again I say if they if for any reason
again I say if they if for any reason
again I say if they if for any reason down the road NBC would decide well this
down the road NBC would decide well this
down the road NBC would decide well this show didn’t work I’m proud
show didn’t work I’m proud
show didn’t work I’m proud I think the humor reflects my
I think the humor reflects my
I think the humor reflects my sensibility I think what we’re going for
sensibility I think what we’re going for
sensibility I think what we’re going for the music and the guests that reflect my
the music and the guests that reflect my
the music and the guests that reflect my sensibility for the most part and we’re
sensibility for the most part and we’re
sensibility for the most part and we’re doing the show I wanted to do and so I
doing the show I wanted to do and so I
doing the show I wanted to do and so I would not feel any
would not feel any
would not feel any bitterness or sat you know I would I
bitterness or sat you know I would I
bitterness or sat you know I would I would be sad because I enjoyed doing it
would be sad because I enjoyed doing it
would be sad because I enjoyed doing it if it were to end but I think we’re
if it were to end but I think we’re
if it were to end but I think we’re doing what I want to do there are a few
doing what I want to do there are a few
doing what I want to do there are a few things more liberating in this life than
things more liberating in this life than
things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized I went
having your worst fear realized I went
having your worst fear realized I went to college with many people who prided
to college with many people who prided
to college with many people who prided themselves on knowing exactly who they
themselves on knowing exactly who they
themselves on knowing exactly who they were and exactly where they were going
were and exactly where they were going
were and exactly where they were going at Harvard five different guys in my
at Harvard five different guys in my
at Harvard five different guys in my class told me they would one day be
class told me they would one day be
class told me they would one day be President of the United States four of
President of the United States four of
President of the United States four of them were later killed in motel
them were later killed in motel
them were later killed in motel shootouts the other ones briefly hosted
shootouts the other ones briefly hosted
shootouts the other ones briefly hosted Blue’s Clues before dying senselessly
Blue’s Clues before dying senselessly
Blue’s Clues before dying senselessly and yet another motel shootout your path
and yet another motel shootout your path
and yet another motel shootout your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path
at 22 will not necessarily be your path
at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42 one’s dream is constantly
at 32 or 42 one’s dream is constantly
at 32 or 42 one’s dream is constantly evolving rising and falling changing
evolving rising and falling changing
evolving rising and falling changing course this happens in every job but
course this happens in every job but
course this happens in every job but because I have worked in comedy for 25
because I have worked in comedy for 25
because I have worked in comedy for 25 years I can probably speak best about my
years I can probably speak best about my
years I can probably speak best about my own profession way back in the 1940s
own profession way back in the 1940s
own profession way back in the 1940s there was a very very funny man named
there was a very very funny man named
there was a very very funny man named Jack Benny he was a giant star easily
Jack Benny he was a giant star easily
Jack Benny he was a giant star easily one of the greatest comedians of his
one of the greatest comedians of his
one of the greatest comedians of his generation and a much younger man named
generation and a much younger man named
generation and a much younger man named Johnny Carson wanted very much to be
Johnny Carson wanted very much to be
Johnny Carson wanted very much to be Jack Benny in some way he’s in some ways
Jack Benny in some way he’s in some ways
Jack Benny in some way he’s in some ways he was but in many ways he wasn’t he
he was but in many ways he wasn’t he
he was but in many ways he wasn’t he emulated Jack Benny but his own quirks
emulated Jack Benny but his own quirks
emulated Jack Benny but his own quirks and mannerisms along with the changing
and mannerisms along with the changing
and mannerisms along with the changing medium pulled him in a different
medium pulled him in a different
medium pulled him in a different direction and yet his failure to
direction and yet his failure to
direction and yet his failure to completely become his hero made him the
completely become his hero made him the
completely become his hero made him the funniest person of his generation David
funniest person of his generation David
funniest person of his generation David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson and
Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson and
Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson and was not and as a result my generation of
was not and as a result my generation of
was not and as a result my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman
comedians wanted to be David Letterman
comedians wanted to be David Letterman and none of us are my peers and I have
and none of us are my peers and I have
and none of us are my peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand
all missed that mark in a thousand
all missed that mark in a thousand different ways but the point is this it
different ways but the point is this it
different ways but the point is this it is our failure to become our perceived
is our failure to become our perceived
is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and
ideal that ultimately defines us and
ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique it’s not easy but if you
makes us unique it’s not easy but if you
makes us unique it’s not easy but if you accept your misfortune and handle it
accept your misfortune and handle it
accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become
right your perceived failure can become
right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound reinvention so
a catalyst for profound reinvention so
a catalyst for profound reinvention so at the age of 47
so at the age of 47 after 25 years of
so at the age of 47 after 25 years of obsessively pursuing my dream that dream
obsessively pursuing my dream that dream
obsessively pursuing my dream that dream changed for decades and showbusiness the
changed for decades and showbusiness the
changed for decades and showbusiness the ultimate goal of every comedian was to
ultimate goal of every comedian was to
ultimate goal of every comedian was to host the Tonight Show it was the Holy
host the Tonight Show it was the Holy
host the Tonight Show it was the Holy Grail and like many people I thought
Grail and like many people I thought
Grail and like many people I thought that achieving that goal would define me
that achieving that goal would define me
that achieving that goal would define me as successful but that is not true no
as successful but that is not true no
as successful but that is not true no specific job or career goal defines me
specific job or career goal defines me
specific job or career goal defines me and it should not define you in 2000 in
and it should not define you in 2000 in
and it should not define you in 2000 in 2000 I told graduates to not be afraid
2000 I told graduates to not be afraid
2000 I told graduates to not be afraid to fail and I still believe that but
to fail and I still believe that but
to fail and I still believe that but today I tell you that whether you fear
today I tell you that whether you fear
today I tell you that whether you fear it or not disappointment will come the
it or not disappointment will come the
it or not disappointment will come the beauty is that through disappointment
beauty is that through disappointment
beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity and with clarity
you can gain clarity and with clarity
you can gain clarity and with clarity comes conviction and true originality
comes conviction and true originality
comes conviction and true originality many of you here today are getting your
many of you here today are getting your
many of you here today are getting your diploma at this ID league school because
diploma at this ID league school because
diploma at this ID league school because you have committed yourself to a dream
you have committed yourself to a dream
you have committed yourself to a dream and worked hard to achieve it and there
and worked hard to achieve it and there
and worked hard to achieve it and there is no greater cliche on a commencement
is no greater cliche on a commencement
is no greater cliche on a commencement address than follow your dream well I’m
address than follow your dream well I’m
address than follow your dream well I’m here to tell you that whatever you think
here to tell you that whatever you think
here to tell you that whatever you think your dream is now it will probably
your dream is now it will probably
your dream is now it will probably change and that’s okay four years ago
change and that’s okay four years ago
change and that’s okay four years ago many of you had specific vision of what
many of you had specific vision of what
many of you had specific vision of what your college experience was going to be
your college experience was going to be
your college experience was going to be and who you were going to become and I
and who you were going to become and I
and who you were going to become and I bet today most of you would admit that
bet today most of you would admit that
bet today most of you would admit that your time here was very different from
your time here was very different from
your time here was very different from what you imagined your roommates changed
what you imagined your roommates changed
what you imagined your roommates changed your major changed for some of you your
your major changed for some of you your
your major changed for some of you your sexual orientation changed I bet some of
sexual orientation changed I bet some of
sexual orientation changed I bet some of you have changed your sexual orientation
you have changed your sexual orientation
you have changed your sexual orientation since I began this speech I know I have
since I began this speech I know I have
since I began this speech I know I have but through the good and especially the
but through the good and especially the
but through the good and especially the bad the person you are now is someone
bad the person you are now is someone
bad the person you are now is someone you could never have conjured in the
you could never have conjured in the
you could never have conjured in the fall of 2007
”
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