how’s everybody doing good it’s wonderful to be with all of you this
wonderful to be with all of you this
wonderful to be with all of you this morning when I first heard the topic for
morning when I first heard the topic for
morning when I first heard the topic for this talk I loved it right away because
this talk I loved it right away because
this talk I loved it right away because I thought about the autumn and the
I thought about the autumn and the
I thought about the autumn and the falling leaves and how beautiful it is I
falling leaves and how beautiful it is I
falling leaves and how beautiful it is I grew up in New York City and every fall
grew up in New York City and every fall
grew up in New York City and every fall would make the trek to Central Park or
would make the trek to Central Park or
would make the trek to Central Park or proxy Park to look at the leaves falling
proxy Park to look at the leaves falling
proxy Park to look at the leaves falling and to look at the different colors and
and to look at the different colors and
and to look at the different colors and witness nature’s bounty and beauty and
witness nature’s bounty and beauty and
witness nature’s bounty and beauty and its brilliance and if you’ve never seen
its brilliance and if you’ve never seen
its brilliance and if you’ve never seen it it’s worth making a trek somewhere
it it’s worth making a trek somewhere
it it’s worth making a trek somewhere where you can see that it’s amazing and
where you can see that it’s amazing and
where you can see that it’s amazing and then I also thought about literally the
then I also thought about literally the
then I also thought about literally the beauty of the fall and I said yes
beauty of the fall and I said yes
beauty of the fall and I said yes falling can be beautiful failing can be
falling can be beautiful failing can be
falling can be beautiful failing can be beautiful now I haven’t always felt that
beautiful now I haven’t always felt that
beautiful now I haven’t always felt that way in fact growing up I grew up in
way in fact growing up I grew up in
way in fact growing up I grew up in London with a single mother
London with a single mother
London with a single mother we’re from Ghana West Africa and my
we’re from Ghana West Africa and my
we’re from Ghana West Africa and my beautiful mother Gladys a nice gave me a
beautiful mother Gladys a nice gave me a
beautiful mother Gladys a nice gave me a name for you was single and she was
name for you was single and she was
name for you was single and she was young she was 26 and at that time in
young she was 26 and at that time in
young she was 26 and at that time in England in London the environment we
England in London the environment we
England in London the environment we were in wasn’t always the most friendly
were in wasn’t always the most friendly
were in wasn’t always the most friendly to say the least
to say the least
to say the least so we found ourselves a lot of times in
so we found ourselves a lot of times in
so we found ourselves a lot of times in very hostile situations and
very hostile situations and
very hostile situations and circumstances so my mother had to find a
circumstances so my mother had to find a
circumstances so my mother had to find a way to navigate through that kind of
way to navigate through that kind of
way to navigate through that kind of thing that situation and what I
thing that situation and what I
thing that situation and what I witnessed was that mom always wanted
witnessed was that mom always wanted
witnessed was that mom always wanted everything to just kind of be calm don’t
everything to just kind of be calm don’t
everything to just kind of be calm don’t ruffle any feathers don’t upset anyone
ruffle any feathers don’t upset anyone
ruffle any feathers don’t upset anyone if something happens and you disagree
if something happens and you disagree
if something happens and you disagree just calmly nod your head and you know
just calmly nod your head and you know
just calmly nod your head and you know just go along to get along
just go along to get along
just go along to get along so as a child watching her do this I
so as a child watching her do this I
so as a child watching her do this I interpreted that as being well I needed
interpreted that as being well I needed
interpreted that as being well I needed people’s approval at any cost that no
people’s approval at any cost that no
people’s approval at any cost that no matter what I had to get along with
matter what I had to get along with
matter what I had to get along with people don’t ruffle feathers keep that
people don’t ruffle feathers keep that
people don’t ruffle feathers keep that stiff upper lip which is not a lot of
stiff upper lip which is not a lot of
stiff upper lip which is not a lot of fun and it worked up to a point until it
fun and it worked up to a point until it
fun and it worked up to a point until it didn’t work anymore in my 20s
didn’t work anymore in my 20s
didn’t work anymore in my 20s New York I was diagnosed with fibroid
New York I was diagnosed with fibroid
New York I was diagnosed with fibroid tumors never heard of them before I
tumors never heard of them before I
tumors never heard of them before I didn’t know what they were and when I
didn’t know what they were and when I
didn’t know what they were and when I looked at the doctors face as he gave me
looked at the doctors face as he gave me
looked at the doctors face as he gave me this diagnosis he looked very grave and
this diagnosis he looked very grave and
this diagnosis he looked very grave and he was like oh my goodness we have to
he was like oh my goodness we have to
he was like oh my goodness we have to get you to surgery right away but there
get you to surgery right away but there
get you to surgery right away but there was something in me that knew that even
was something in me that knew that even
was something in me that knew that even though right now at that moment I’d
though right now at that moment I’d
though right now at that moment I’d failed elf there was something in me
failed elf there was something in me
failed elf there was something in me that said wait a minute so I said to the
that said wait a minute so I said to the
that said wait a minute so I said to the doctor well could you give me like a
doctor well could you give me like a
doctor well could you give me like a month to just be with all of this
month to just be with all of this
month to just be with all of this said it’s all happening very fast I
said it’s all happening very fast I
said it’s all happening very fast I don’t even know what you’re talking
don’t even know what you’re talking
don’t even know what you’re talking about and and I’d like to take some time
about and and I’d like to take some time
about and and I’d like to take some time to kind of just understand what’s
to kind of just understand what’s
to kind of just understand what’s happening to me there was something in
happening to me there was something in
happening to me there was something in me that I knew that I I had the power
me that I knew that I I had the power
me that I knew that I I had the power you know it was grateful for the doctor
you know it was grateful for the doctor
you know it was grateful for the doctor but he didn’t have power over me or my
but he didn’t have power over me or my
but he didn’t have power over me or my body so I asked for at least a month and
body so I asked for at least a month and
body so I asked for at least a month and he gave it to me said okay you got a
he gave it to me said okay you got a
he gave it to me said okay you got a month and in that month I joined a
month and in that month I joined a
month and in that month I joined a walking Club
walking Club
walking Club Gary nulls walking Club in New York I
Gary nulls walking Club in New York I
Gary nulls walking Club in New York I would get up at like 3:00 a.m. 2:00 a.m.
would get up at like 3:00 a.m. 2:00 a.m.
would get up at like 3:00 a.m. 2:00 a.m. sometimes to travel all the way from
sometimes to travel all the way from
sometimes to travel all the way from Brooklyn to New York to Manhattan and
Brooklyn to New York to Manhattan and
Brooklyn to New York to Manhattan and sometimes it was snowing it was hard
sometimes it was snowing it was hard
sometimes it was snowing it was hard rain it was cold and there I hate being
rain it was cold and there I hate being
rain it was cold and there I hate being cold but I was doing it and I loved who
cold but I was doing it and I loved who
cold but I was doing it and I loved who I was becoming my body was getting in
I was becoming my body was getting in
I was becoming my body was getting in shape and I felt real and vital and
shape and I felt real and vital and
shape and I felt real and vital and alive it was incredible I started to eat
alive it was incredible I started to eat
alive it was incredible I started to eat better I started to be more mindful of
better I started to be more mindful of
better I started to be more mindful of the the company I was keeping so a month
the the company I was keeping so a month
the the company I was keeping so a month later when I went back to see the doctor
later when I went back to see the doctor
later when I went back to see the doctor he was astounded he was like whoa what
he was astounded he was like whoa what
he was astounded he was like whoa what did you do
did you do
did you do and I said well you know I said you
and I said well you know I said you
and I said well you know I said you frightened me and it fight me into
frightened me and it fight me into
frightened me and it fight me into better health and he said well you’ve
better health and he said well you’ve
better health and he said well you’ve done a great job because the tumor is
done a great job because the tumor is
done a great job because the tumor is there negligible we don’t need to give
there negligible we don’t need to give
there negligible we don’t need to give you the surgery I was like great okay so
you the surgery I was like great okay so
you the surgery I was like great okay so then I moved to Los Angeles and I
then I moved to Los Angeles and I
then I moved to Los Angeles and I started to work with incarcerated
started to work with incarcerated
started to work with incarcerated children I wanted something to do to
children I wanted something to do to
children I wanted something to do to give back when I moved to LA I started
give back when I moved to LA I started
give back when I moved to LA I started working right away as an actor getting
working right away as an actor getting
working right away as an actor getting commercials TV Phil
commercials TV Phil
commercials TV Phil and I thought wow there’s gotta be more
and I thought wow there’s gotta be more
and I thought wow there’s gotta be more to my life in this and I had an
to my life in this and I had an
to my life in this and I had an opportunity to go and mentor
opportunity to go and mentor
opportunity to go and mentor incarcerated children I didn’t even know
incarcerated children I didn’t even know
incarcerated children I didn’t even know that children could be incarcerated now
that children could be incarcerated now
that children could be incarcerated now I’ve found out that LA County
I’ve found out that LA County
I’ve found out that LA County incarcerate small children than anyplace
incarcerate small children than anyplace
incarcerate small children than anyplace else in the world is it because more
else in the world is it because more
else in the world is it because more children are bad and LA in this country
children are bad and LA in this country
children are bad and LA in this country I don’t think so than anyplace else but
I don’t think so than anyplace else but
I don’t think so than anyplace else but what we do is that these children that
what we do is that these children that
what we do is that these children that have failed we put a whole math of them
have failed we put a whole math of them
have failed we put a whole math of them into detention facilities you know we
into detention facilities you know we
into detention facilities you know we just write them off there they are
just write them off there they are
just write them off there they are they’ve failed they’re criminals well
they’ve failed they’re criminals well
they’ve failed they’re criminals well what I’ve found out though is that these
what I’ve found out though is that these
what I’ve found out though is that these same failed children have a capacity to
same failed children have a capacity to
same failed children have a capacity to love and to forgive like unlike anything
love and to forgive like unlike anything
love and to forgive like unlike anything I’ve ever seen you know children that
I’ve ever seen you know children that
I’ve ever seen you know children that have been abused neglected tormented
have been abused neglected tormented
have been abused neglected tormented some of them and a lot of times the
some of them and a lot of times the
some of them and a lot of times the perpetrators are members of their own
perpetrators are members of their own
perpetrators are members of their own families and yet they harbor no
families and yet they harbor no
families and yet they harbor no bitterness they don’t have a sense of
bitterness they don’t have a sense of
bitterness they don’t have a sense of revenge they love their families I have
revenge they love their families I have
revenge they love their families I have a young mentee a young woman she’s 16
a young mentee a young woman she’s 16
a young mentee a young woman she’s 16 one day as I was leaving the camp he
one day as I was leaving the camp he
one day as I was leaving the camp he calls me Miss ikuyo here’s my mom’s
calls me Miss ikuyo here’s my mom’s
calls me Miss ikuyo here’s my mom’s number do you think you could give her a
number do you think you could give her a
number do you think you could give her a call please and just find out where she
call please and just find out where she
call please and just find out where she is and how she is and I said sure she
is and how she is and I said sure she
is and how she is and I said sure she said you know when I was taken away when
said you know when I was taken away when
said you know when I was taken away when I was arrested that was the last time I
I was arrested that was the last time I
I was arrested that was the last time I saw her and I I just I’m worried about
saw her and I I just I’m worried about
saw her and I I just I’m worried about her she’s been on the streets she dreams
her she’s been on the streets she dreams
her she’s been on the streets she dreams she takes drugs and I’m really worried
she takes drugs and I’m really worried
she takes drugs and I’m really worried about my mom and I said of course I’ll
about my mom and I said of course I’ll
about my mom and I said of course I’ll give her a call and I said but you know
give her a call and I said but you know
give her a call and I said but you know this is your time for you because you’re
this is your time for you because you’re
this is your time for you because you’re dealing with your own issues of
dealing with your own issues of
dealing with your own issues of addiction and wanting to be sober just I
addiction and wanting to be sober just I
addiction and wanting to be sober just I know but I please I need to know how my
know but I please I need to know how my
know but I please I need to know how my mom is so that evening all her mother
mom is so that evening all her mother
mom is so that evening all her mother and I was able to reach her and I said
and I was able to reach her and I said
and I was able to reach her and I said you know your daughter is really
you know your daughter is really
you know your daughter is really concerned about you please just every
concerned about you please just every
concerned about you please just every once in a while call the facility even
once in a while call the facility even
once in a while call the facility even if you don’t reach her just call and say
if you don’t reach her just call and say
if you don’t reach her just call and say I called give her a message you love her
I called give her a message you love her
I called give her a message you love her and she can
and she can
and she can with her own growth and development the
with her own growth and development the
with her own growth and development the mother said I know she’s so
mother said I know she’s so
mother said I know she’s so compassionate I said yes she is because
compassionate I said yes she is because
compassionate I said yes she is because instead of being concerned about herself
instead of being concerned about herself
instead of being concerned about herself she’s concerned about you so that’s the
she’s concerned about you so that’s the
she’s concerned about you so that’s the least you can do and I said you know she
least you can do and I said you know she
least you can do and I said you know she also wants me to try to help you get
also wants me to try to help you get
also wants me to try to help you get into a facility yourself where you can
into a facility yourself where you can
into a facility yourself where you can be helped
be helped
be helped are you willing to do that and the
are you willing to do that and the
are you willing to do that and the mother said yes and she told me to call
mother said yes and she told me to call
mother said yes and she told me to call back the next day to arrange where I
back the next day to arrange where I
back the next day to arrange where I could go pick her up of course I called
could go pick her up of course I called
could go pick her up of course I called back and she disappeared but I went back
back and she disappeared but I went back
back and she disappeared but I went back and I told her daughter and I said I did
and I told her daughter and I said I did
and I told her daughter and I said I did speak with her but I haven’t been able
speak with her but I haven’t been able
speak with her but I haven’t been able to reach her again since and the
to reach her again since and the
to reach her again since and the daughter looked at me and said thank you
daughter looked at me and said thank you
daughter looked at me and said thank you I’m glad to know she’s alive I was I was
I’m glad to know she’s alive I was I was
I’m glad to know she’s alive I was I was worried that maybe she was no longer
worried that maybe she was no longer
worried that maybe she was no longer alive but I guess now I need to let her
alive but I guess now I need to let her
alive but I guess now I need to let her go and focus on myself I said yes you do
go and focus on myself I said yes you do
go and focus on myself I said yes you do it’s time for you to be with you this is
it’s time for you to be with you this is
it’s time for you to be with you this is your time and that’s not the exception
your time and that’s not the exception
your time and that’s not the exception that young girl is not the exception
that young girl is not the exception
that young girl is not the exception most of the children that I mentor and
most of the children that I mentor and
most of the children that I mentor and teach in these facilities are like that
teach in these facilities are like that
teach in these facilities are like that they are dreaming about opening up
they are dreaming about opening up
they are dreaming about opening up centers of compassion where children and
centers of compassion where children and
centers of compassion where children and families can go children and families
families can go children and families
families can go children and families that have been abused children that grow
that have been abused children that grow
that have been abused children that grow up watching a parent usually the mother
up watching a parent usually the mother
up watching a parent usually the mother being beaten up or killed they want a
being beaten up or killed they want a
being beaten up or killed they want a safe place this is what they’re dreaming
safe place this is what they’re dreaming
safe place this is what they’re dreaming of and yet we’re not listening because
of and yet we’re not listening because
of and yet we’re not listening because we’ve labeled them failures they’ve made
we’ve labeled them failures they’ve made
we’ve labeled them failures they’ve made a mistake and we don’t seem to have the
a mistake and we don’t seem to have the
a mistake and we don’t seem to have the capacity to hold the space for
capacity to hold the space for
capacity to hold the space for redemption for our children and if we
redemption for our children and if we
redemption for our children and if we did if we dare to listen what we would
did if we dare to listen what we would
did if we dare to listen what we would learn because of them I’ve learned to be
learn because of them I’ve learned to be
learn because of them I’ve learned to be okay with myself with my body to let my
okay with myself with my body to let my
okay with myself with my body to let my tummy out it’s okay I have a big tummy
tummy out it’s okay I have a big tummy
tummy out it’s okay I have a big tummy you know they love the phrase keeping it
you know they love the phrase keeping it
you know they love the phrase keeping it real and they do you can’t be with them
real and they do you can’t be with them
real and they do you can’t be with them unless you’re real because of them I’ve
unless you’re real because of them I’ve
unless you’re real because of them I’ve learned that failure isn’t the final
learned that failure isn’t the final
learned that failure isn’t the final word it’s just a word it’s just a word
word it’s just a word it’s just a word
word it’s just a word it’s just a word that’s all it is and they’ve helped me
that’s all it is and they’ve helped me
that’s all it is and they’ve helped me to realign and redefine my relation
to realign and redefine my relation
to realign and redefine my relation with that word it no longer hangs over
with that word it no longer hangs over
with that word it no longer hangs over me confining me they have so much to
me confining me they have so much to
me confining me they have so much to offer you know recently I heard that one
offer you know recently I heard that one
offer you know recently I heard that one of the founders Patagonia the store said
of the founders Patagonia the store said
of the founders Patagonia the store said if you want innovation speak to kids in
if you want innovation speak to kids in
if you want innovation speak to kids in juvenile hall and he’s right I mean we
juvenile hall and he’s right I mean we
juvenile hall and he’s right I mean we all hear about thinking outside the box
all hear about thinking outside the box
all hear about thinking outside the box well they’re thinking outside the box
well they’re thinking outside the box
well they’re thinking outside the box but we’re not listening so really it
but we’re not listening so really it
but we’re not listening so really it made me think you know society talks a
made me think you know society talks a
made me think you know society talks a good game but do we ever mean any of the
good game but do we ever mean any of the
good game but do we ever mean any of the things we say think outside the box be
things we say think outside the box be
things we say think outside the box be innovative do we really because when you
innovative do we really because when you
innovative do we really because when you do you can hell for it you know it’s
do you can hell for it you know it’s
do you can hell for it you know it’s like no well that’s not the way it’s
like no well that’s not the way it’s
like no well that’s not the way it’s done yeah I’m trying to do it
done yeah I’m trying to do it
done yeah I’m trying to do it differently you know so I’m changing my
differently you know so I’m changing my
differently you know so I’m changing my relationship to failure I want to let
relationship to failure I want to let
relationship to failure I want to let you know that the five words came back
you know that the five words came back
you know that the five words came back which the doctor told me that it might
which the doctor told me that it might
which the doctor told me that it might they’re stubborn little creatures so
they’re stubborn little creatures so
they’re stubborn little creatures so this time I said okay let me go deeper
this time I said okay let me go deeper
this time I said okay let me go deeper let me see what this is really about and
let me see what this is really about and
let me see what this is really about and I realized in my research that a lot of
I realized in my research that a lot of
I realized in my research that a lot of women particularly african-american
women particularly african-american
women particularly african-american women get fibroids and I thought yeah
women get fibroids and I thought yeah
women get fibroids and I thought yeah that makes sense I can understand that
that makes sense I can understand that
that makes sense I can understand that we hold so much in you know I don’t know
we hold so much in you know I don’t know
we hold so much in you know I don’t know where the myth of the angry black woman
where the myth of the angry black woman
where the myth of the angry black woman came from because honestly most of us
came from because honestly most of us
came from because honestly most of us hold in so much we don’t really say what
hold in so much we don’t really say what
hold in so much we don’t really say what we feel we don’t really say what we mean
we feel we don’t really say what we mean
we feel we don’t really say what we mean we don’t really do the things we want to
we don’t really do the things we want to
we don’t really do the things we want to do in our hearts we’re just holding it
do in our hearts we’re just holding it
do in our hearts we’re just holding it all in that’s why over 90% of black
all in that’s why over 90% of black
all in that’s why over 90% of black women get high boys these tumors they’re
women get high boys these tumors they’re
women get high boys these tumors they’re like parasites eating away at you
like parasites eating away at you
like parasites eating away at you so with that realization and with
so with that realization and with
so with that realization and with everything that I’m learning with my
everything that I’m learning with my
everything that I’m learning with my children it’s at okay all right let me
children it’s at okay all right let me
children it’s at okay all right let me have the courage to be me so I went to
have the courage to be me so I went to
have the courage to be me so I went to my acting class and my acting teacher
my acting class and my acting teacher
my acting class and my acting teacher said to me what would you like to work
said to me what would you like to work
said to me what would you like to work on and I got up on stage and I said you
on and I got up on stage and I said you
on and I got up on stage and I said you know what I want to work on sailing
know what I want to work on sailing
know what I want to work on sailing today I just want to make a complete ass
today I just want to make a complete ass
today I just want to make a complete ass out of myself I just want to get up on
out of myself I just want to get up on
out of myself I just want to get up on that
that
that stage I don’t care if my scene works so
stage I don’t care if my scene works so
stage I don’t care if my scene works so it doesn’t work I just want to try I
it doesn’t work I just want to try I
it doesn’t work I just want to try I want to fail and I want to have a good
want to fail and I want to have a good
want to fail and I want to have a good time doing so he said okay and I was
time doing so he said okay and I was
time doing so he said okay and I was working on a monologue I took Psalm 121
working on a monologue I took Psalm 121
working on a monologue I took Psalm 121 which is one of my favorite Psalms and I
which is one of my favorite Psalms and I
which is one of my favorite Psalms and I turned that into a monologue and I had
turned that into a monologue and I had
turned that into a monologue and I had the best time of my life I realized that
the best time of my life I realized that
the best time of my life I realized that by giving myself permission to fail
by giving myself permission to fail
by giving myself permission to fail I had actually given myself permission
I had actually given myself permission
I had actually given myself permission to succeed I’ve given myself space to be
to succeed I’ve given myself space to be
to succeed I’ve given myself space to be in the moment to be present to listen to
in the moment to be present to listen to
in the moment to be present to listen to try different things because normally I
try different things because normally I
try different things because normally I would be so you know prescribed and
would be so you know prescribed and
would be so you know prescribed and everything’s scripted and I’m gonna do
everything’s scripted and I’m gonna do
everything’s scripted and I’m gonna do this and I’m gonna turn that way and no
this and I’m gonna turn that way and no
this and I’m gonna turn that way and no I was like no to heck with it just get
I was like no to heck with it just get
I was like no to heck with it just get up on that stage and whatever happens
up on that stage and whatever happens
up on that stage and whatever happens let it happen and it was beautiful I
let it happen and it was beautiful I
let it happen and it was beautiful I really think that was probably one of
really think that was probably one of
really think that was probably one of the best things I’ve ever done in my
the best things I’ve ever done in my
the best things I’ve ever done in my life and it made me realize again when I
life and it made me realize again when I
life and it made me realize again when I give myself permission to fail I’m
give myself permission to fail I’m
give myself permission to fail I’m actually giving myself permission to
actually giving myself permission to
actually giving myself permission to grow and what I’ve come to see is that
grow and what I’ve come to see is that
grow and what I’ve come to see is that failure that which I know as failure is
failure that which I know as failure is
failure that which I know as failure is actually part of the fabric of life it’s
actually part of the fabric of life it’s
actually part of the fabric of life it’s not separate and apart and if I’m afraid
not separate and apart and if I’m afraid
not separate and apart and if I’m afraid to fail what I’m actually saying is I’m
to fail what I’m actually saying is I’m
to fail what I’m actually saying is I’m afraid to succeed just as if I’m afraid
afraid to succeed just as if I’m afraid
afraid to succeed just as if I’m afraid to die I’m actually afraid to live the
to die I’m actually afraid to live the
to die I’m actually afraid to live the paradox the contradictions it’s all part
paradox the contradictions it’s all part
paradox the contradictions it’s all part of this fabric that is life the many
of this fabric that is life the many
of this fabric that is life the many colors of it and failure is just one
colors of it and failure is just one
colors of it and failure is just one color and keeping in line with that now
color and keeping in line with that now
color and keeping in line with that now when I go to auditions doesn’t mean I
when I go to auditions doesn’t mean I
when I go to auditions doesn’t mean I get every every everything I auditioned
get every every everything I auditioned
get every every everything I auditioned for but I’ve noticed there’s a
for but I’ve noticed there’s a
for but I’ve noticed there’s a fearlessness with me now recently the
fearlessness with me now recently the
fearlessness with me now recently the summer I went up for a Southwest
summer I went up for a Southwest
summer I went up for a Southwest commercial and the description when you
commercial and the description when you
commercial and the description when you get a commercial call or any audition
get a commercial call or any audition
get a commercial call or any audition they tell you the character and with
they tell you the character and with
they tell you the character and with commercials than me tell you the attire
commercials than me tell you the attire
commercials than me tell you the attire so it’s a business attire and I remember
so it’s a business attire and I remember
so it’s a business attire and I remember I looked at it and I thought no I don’t
I looked at it and I thought no I don’t
I looked at it and I thought no I don’t feel like wearing business attire to
feel like wearing business attire to
feel like wearing business attire to this
this
this I just don’t want to do it so you know I
I just don’t want to do it so you know I
I just don’t want to do it so you know I chose I have a white skirt very flowy
chose I have a white skirt very flowy
chose I have a white skirt very flowy varied Odyssey and I wore my god is he
varied Odyssey and I wore my god is he
varied Odyssey and I wore my god is he skirt and another flowy top very
skirt and another flowy top very
skirt and another flowy top very unbusinesslike and I went to the
unbusinesslike and I went to the
unbusinesslike and I went to the audition and I did the audition and I
audition and I did the audition and I
audition and I did the audition and I had a great time I loved it
had a great time I loved it
had a great time I loved it I felt wonderful and because I thought
I felt wonderful and because I thought
I felt wonderful and because I thought you know what business
you know what business
you know what business I had already an idea what I thought
I had already an idea what I thought
I had already an idea what I thought business would be you know but I said my
business would be you know but I said my
business would be you know but I said my business could be anything maybe I make
business could be anything maybe I make
business could be anything maybe I make flowy skirts that’s my business and I’m
flowy skirts that’s my business and I’m
flowy skirts that’s my business and I’m wearing you know I’m wearing this higher
wearing you know I’m wearing this higher
wearing you know I’m wearing this higher than that just the business that I have
than that just the business that I have
than that just the business that I have well I got a callback for that out for
well I got a callback for that out for
well I got a callback for that out for the audition but I wasn’t able to go
the audition but I wasn’t able to go
the audition but I wasn’t able to go because I was working in a film and I
because I was working in a film and I
because I was working in a film and I was like oh well you know they saw me if
was like oh well you know they saw me if
was like oh well you know they saw me if they want me then they’ll call me
they want me then they’ll call me
they want me then they’ll call me they’ll give it to me and they didn’t
they’ll give it to me and they didn’t
they’ll give it to me and they didn’t they gave it to me but you know the
they gave it to me but you know the
they gave it to me but you know the thing is I’m having more fun in my life
thing is I’m having more fun in my life
thing is I’m having more fun in my life I’m having more fun because I’m allowing
I’m having more fun because I’m allowing
I’m having more fun because I’m allowing myself to be me you know before with
myself to be me you know before with
myself to be me you know before with every everything so prescribed you know
every everything so prescribed you know
every everything so prescribed you know with the projections about success that
with the projections about success that
with the projections about success that I had placed on myself
I had placed on myself
I had placed on myself there was really no room to breathe
there was really no room to breathe
there was really no room to breathe breathing very important to have a
breathing very important to have a
breathing very important to have a healthy body especially if you’re
healthy body especially if you’re
healthy body especially if you’re dealing with fibroids now I could
dealing with fibroids now I could
dealing with fibroids now I could breathe I could stop holding my stomach
breathe I could stop holding my stomach
breathe I could stop holding my stomach in you know everywhere even when I’m
in you know everywhere even when I’m
in you know everywhere even when I’m working with my staff now I can be
working with my staff now I can be
working with my staff now I can be myself and I can say hey I may be boss
myself and I can say hey I may be boss
myself and I can say hey I may be boss but it doesn’t mean I know everything
but it doesn’t mean I know everything
but it doesn’t mean I know everything I’m gonna bring everything I know to the
I’m gonna bring everything I know to the
I’m gonna bring everything I know to the table and everything I don’t know to the
table and everything I don’t know to the
table and everything I don’t know to the table and that’s alright with me I don’t
table and that’s alright with me I don’t
table and that’s alright with me I don’t mind being vulnerable and if I make a
mind being vulnerable and if I make a
mind being vulnerable and if I make a mistake I don’t mind saying I’m sorry I
mistake I don’t mind saying I’m sorry I
mistake I don’t mind saying I’m sorry I don’t mind owning up and being the first
don’t mind owning up and being the first
don’t mind owning up and being the first to say I take responsibility for that it
to say I take responsibility for that it
to say I take responsibility for that it is so freaking freeing you know
is so freaking freeing you know
is so freaking freeing you know especially from where I came from where
especially from where I came from where
especially from where I came from where I had so much investment in being
I had so much investment in being
I had so much investment in being approved by everyone else everyone where
approved by everyone else everyone where
approved by everyone else everyone where has such an investment in being right
has such an investment in being right
has such an investment in being right such an investment in the image that I
such an investment in the image that I
such an investment in the image that I wanted people to see of me that I held
wanted people to see of me that I held
wanted people to see of me that I held up but that image was gonna crush me if
up but that image was gonna crush me if
up but that image was gonna crush me if I didn’t let it go if I wasn’t willing
I didn’t let it go if I wasn’t willing
I didn’t let it go if I wasn’t willing to be vulnerable if I wasn’t willing to
to be vulnerable if I wasn’t willing to
to be vulnerable if I wasn’t willing to be free and to be myself and I have a
be free and to be myself and I have a
be free and to be myself and I have a children to thank for that as well these
children to thank for that as well these
children to thank for that as well these beautiful angry hardened children that
beautiful angry hardened children that
beautiful angry hardened children that I’ve failed so drastically so
I’ve failed so drastically so
I’ve failed so drastically so dramatically and yet that dare too
dramatically and yet that dare too
dramatically and yet that dare too horrible love and forgiveness and love
horrible love and forgiveness and love
horrible love and forgiveness and love and forgiveness again and again and
and forgiveness again and again and
and forgiveness again and again and again and if we would but just listen if
again and if we would but just listen if
again and if we would but just listen if we would but just be more accepting and
we would but just be more accepting and
we would but just be more accepting and maybe it begins with us accepting our
maybe it begins with us accepting our
maybe it begins with us accepting our own fabric and colors of failures and
own fabric and colors of failures and
own fabric and colors of failures and the reinterpretation of that word to
the reinterpretation of that word to
the reinterpretation of that word to know that it is just a word it doesn’t
know that it is just a word it doesn’t
know that it is just a word it doesn’t have any power doesn’t mean anything
have any power doesn’t mean anything
have any power doesn’t mean anything except the meaning that we place onto it
except the meaning that we place onto it
except the meaning that we place onto it and maybe if we did that we would be
and maybe if we did that we would be
and maybe if we did that we would be more embracing of one another more
more embracing of one another more
more embracing of one another more embracing of the beautiful colors of
embracing of the beautiful colors of
embracing of the beautiful colors of life just like the fall season in the
life just like the fall season in the
life just like the fall season in the parks in New York City on the East Coast
parks in New York City on the East Coast
parks in New York City on the East Coast thank you so much
thank you so much
thank you so much [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment