all right I want to tell you how I got my super powers through fatherhood I was
my super powers through fatherhood I was
my super powers through fatherhood I was working a job I hated okay and I don’t
working a job I hated okay and I don’t
working a job I hated okay and I don’t know if anyone here ever worked the job
know if anyone here ever worked the job
know if anyone here ever worked the job they hate it has anyone here ever worked
they hate it has anyone here ever worked
they hate it has anyone here ever worked a job they hate it okay good cuz I’m not
a job they hate it okay good cuz I’m not
a job they hate it okay good cuz I’m not alone and I have something to confess
alone and I have something to confess
alone and I have something to confess and I don’t want you guys to judge me
and I don’t want you guys to judge me
and I don’t want you guys to judge me feels like a safe space this is safe
feels like a safe space this is safe
feels like a safe space this is safe space okay good okay I was working the
space okay good okay I was working the
space okay good okay I was working the job I hated my manager and I were not
job I hated my manager and I were not
job I hated my manager and I were not getting along okay I was sitting in my
getting along okay I was sitting in my
getting along okay I was sitting in my car looking in the rearview mirror
car looking in the rearview mirror
car looking in the rearview mirror trying to figure out what’s friend I
trying to figure out what’s friend I
trying to figure out what’s friend I could call to call in a bomb threat so I
could call to call in a bomb threat so I
could call to call in a bomb threat so I didn’t have to go back in the building
didn’t have to go back in the building
didn’t have to go back in the building okay this this this was having a lot of
okay this this this was having a lot of
okay this this this was having a lot of issues for me I was having a lot of
issues for me I was having a lot of
issues for me I was having a lot of issues at my job and I come home every
issues at my job and I come home every
issues at my job and I come home every day from work and my wife would ask me
day from work and my wife would ask me
day from work and my wife would ask me the same question and when you hate your
the same question and when you hate your
the same question and when you hate your job this is the worst question anyone
job this is the worst question anyone
job this is the worst question anyone could ask you she’d say hey babe how was
could ask you she’d say hey babe how was
could ask you she’d say hey babe how was your day
your day
your day and I’d say are you bringing up old
and I’d say are you bringing up old
and I’d say are you bringing up old stuff I just left there I don’t want to
stuff I just left there I don’t want to
stuff I just left there I don’t want to think about that place again see we were
think about that place again see we were
think about that place again see we were spending about 40 percent of my income
spending about 40 percent of my income
spending about 40 percent of my income on childcare we had one child and we
on childcare we had one child and we
on childcare we had one child and we were pregnant with our second child and
were pregnant with our second child and
were pregnant with our second child and we were trying to figure out how we were
we were trying to figure out how we were
we were trying to figure out how we were gonna fix this whole thing of this money
gonna fix this whole thing of this money
gonna fix this whole thing of this money situation and she said hey babe I got a
situation and she said hey babe I got a
situation and she said hey babe I got a great idea I said what’s up she said uh
great idea I said what’s up she said uh
great idea I said what’s up she said uh I think you’d be a great stay-at-home
I think you’d be a great stay-at-home
I think you’d be a great stay-at-home dad I was like why would you say
dad I was like why would you say
dad I was like why would you say something like that she said because
something like that she said because
something like that she said because babies like you
babies like you
babies like you I was like no they don’t she was like no
I was like no they don’t she was like no
I was like no they don’t she was like no they do like you and and I think it
they do like you and and I think it
they do like you and and I think it would be great for our children to see
would be great for our children to see
would be great for our children to see what love looks like coming from a
what love looks like coming from a
what love looks like coming from a father okay so I had issues with issues
father okay so I had issues with issues
father okay so I had issues with issues with this because I haven’t seen a lot
with this because I haven’t seen a lot
with this because I haven’t seen a lot of stay-at-home dads before and I I
of stay-at-home dads before and I I
of stay-at-home dads before and I I thought men would judge me so get this I
thought men would judge me so get this I
thought men would judge me so get this I said this please don’t be offended I
said this please don’t be offended I
said this please don’t be offended I said this I said you know that sounds
said this I said you know that sounds
said this I said you know that sounds boring and uh what do stay-at-home moms
boring and uh what do stay-at-home moms
boring and uh what do stay-at-home moms do all day anyway she smiled at me a
do all day anyway she smiled at me a
do all day anyway she smiled at me a smile only a woman full of knowledge can
smile only a woman full of knowledge can
smile only a woman full of knowledge can smile and said well this sense this
smile and said well this sense this
smile and said well this sense this should be easy for you and it will save
should be easy for you and it will save
should be easy for you and it will save us some money it seems like a no-brainer
us some money it seems like a no-brainer
us some money it seems like a no-brainer fast forward six months I’d been a
fast forward six months I’d been a
fast forward six months I’d been a stay-at-home dad for about a week I was
stay-at-home dad for about a week I was
stay-at-home dad for about a week I was standing in my bathroom looking into the
standing in my bathroom looking into the
standing in my bathroom looking into the mirror crying tears running all down my
mirror crying tears running all down my
mirror crying tears running all down my face my one-and-a-half year old was
face my one-and-a-half year old was
face my one-and-a-half year old was banging on a bathroom door because I
banging on a bathroom door because I
banging on a bathroom door because I locked them out you know crying tears
locked them out you know crying tears
locked them out you know crying tears running down his face and my newborn was
running down his face and my newborn was
running down his face and my newborn was in the bassinet crying tears running
in the bassinet crying tears running
in the bassinet crying tears running down his face I looked at myself in the
down his face I looked at myself in the
down his face I looked at myself in the mirror and I said which one of your
mirror and I said which one of your
mirror and I said which one of your friends could you call a call in a bomb
friends could you call a call in a bomb
friends could you call a call in a bomb threat man we got to get out of here
threat man we got to get out of here
threat man we got to get out of here see I had traded my manager for my
see I had traded my manager for my
see I had traded my manager for my children I didn’t know what I got myself
children I didn’t know what I got myself
children I didn’t know what I got myself into I thought I knew everything about
into I thought I knew everything about
into I thought I knew everything about being a stay-at-home parent and in fact
being a stay-at-home parent and in fact
being a stay-at-home parent and in fact I knew nothing at all
I knew nothing at all
I knew nothing at all because even though my manager was a was
because even though my manager was a was
because even though my manager was a was well at least my my children were a lot
well at least my my children were a lot
well at least my my children were a lot cuter than my manager they were just as
cuter than my manager they were just as
cuter than my manager they were just as demanding
what had I gotten myself into I thought
what had I gotten myself into I thought I knew everything about being a
I knew everything about being a
I knew everything about being a stay-at-home parent in fact I knew
stay-at-home parent in fact I knew
stay-at-home parent in fact I knew nothing I thought that all I had to do
nothing I thought that all I had to do
nothing I thought that all I had to do was feed them and change their diapers
was feed them and change their diapers
was feed them and change their diapers and they’d be fine like I really thought
and they’d be fine like I really thought
and they’d be fine like I really thought that that’s that’s it
that that’s that’s it
that that’s that’s it Sesame Street on TV keep them distracted
Sesame Street on TV keep them distracted
Sesame Street on TV keep them distracted applesauce and a bowl milk in a bottle
applesauce and a bowl milk in a bottle
applesauce and a bowl milk in a bottle they’d be fine but if you leave children
they’d be fine but if you leave children
they’d be fine but if you leave children alone they’ll get into just a little bit
alone they’ll get into just a little bit
alone they’ll get into just a little bit of mischief you know what else I thought
of mischief you know what else I thought
of mischief you know what else I thought I knew about being a stay-at-home parent
I knew about being a stay-at-home parent
I knew about being a stay-at-home parent I thought that all I had to do was take
I thought that all I had to do was take
I thought that all I had to do was take him to the park once a week because if I
him to the park once a week because if I
him to the park once a week because if I took him to the park
took him to the park
took him to the park once a week they’d be fine in fact I
once a week they’d be fine in fact I
once a week they’d be fine in fact I knew nothing at all okay if you take
knew nothing at all okay if you take
knew nothing at all okay if you take kids to park every day then that means
kids to park every day then that means
kids to park every day then that means they get dirty of the every day if they
they get dirty of the every day if they
they get dirty of the every day if they got dirty every day they need baths
got dirty every day they need baths
got dirty every day they need baths every day if they got baths every day I
every day if they got baths every day I
every day if they got baths every day I just don’t think you understand see
just don’t think you understand see
just don’t think you understand see having two kids under two you end up
having two kids under two you end up
having two kids under two you end up changing over 20 dirty diapers a day
changing over 20 dirty diapers a day
changing over 20 dirty diapers a day okay and if you give them a bath that’s
okay and if you give them a bath that’s
okay and if you give them a bath that’s just more nakedness and a higher
just more nakedness and a higher
just more nakedness and a higher probability of getting peed on and no
probability of getting peed on and no
probability of getting peed on and no one likes getting peed on even if it’s
one likes getting peed on even if it’s
one likes getting peed on even if it’s from a baby
from a baby
from a baby but I read this article by father Lee
but I read this article by father Lee
but I read this article by father Lee which sites has surveyed them by two
which sites has surveyed them by two
which sites has surveyed them by two detergent companies only Moen persons
detergent companies only Moen persons
detergent companies only Moen persons and they did this study and it said that
and they did this study and it said that
and they did this study and it said that at two hours a day prisoners get more
at two hours a day prisoners get more
at two hours a day prisoners get more outside time than children
outside time than children
outside time than children that convicted me and so we went outside
that convicted me and so we went outside
that convicted me and so we went outside [Music]
[Music]
[Music] see I knew nothing about being a
see I knew nothing about being a
see I knew nothing about being a stay-at-home parent and once I embraced
stay-at-home parent and once I embraced
stay-at-home parent and once I embraced the fact that I knew nothing I’d begin
the fact that I knew nothing I’d begin
the fact that I knew nothing I’d begin to learn from my new managers and I
to learn from my new managers and I
to learn from my new managers and I always was told that is as a
always was told that is as a
always was told that is as a stay-at-home parent you get no sleep or
stay-at-home parent you get no sleep or
stay-at-home parent you get no sleep or as a parent in general you get no sleep
as a parent in general you get no sleep
as a parent in general you get no sleep but that’s not true because if you sleep
but that’s not true because if you sleep
but that’s not true because if you sleep when they do you actually can’t get some
when they do you actually can’t get some
when they do you actually can’t get some sleep you know what else I thought as a
sleep you know what else I thought as a
sleep you know what else I thought as a stay-at-home parent I thought I knew
stay-at-home parent I thought I knew
stay-at-home parent I thought I knew that the best way to teach kids right
that the best way to teach kids right
that the best way to teach kids right from wrong was to discipline them
from wrong was to discipline them
from wrong was to discipline them because that would make sure they
because that would make sure they
because that would make sure they understood right from wrong the pain the
understood right from wrong the pain the
understood right from wrong the pain the fear that would teach them but the truth
fear that would teach them but the truth
fear that would teach them but the truth is the best way for me to teach my
is the best way for me to teach my
is the best way for me to teach my children right from wrong is to teach
children right from wrong is to teach
children right from wrong is to teach them take out a whiteboard and draw
them take out a whiteboard and draw
them take out a whiteboard and draw pictures and make connections that they
pictures and make connections that they
pictures and make connections that they can understand how was the best way a
can understand how was the best way a
can understand how was the best way a lot of these images you’re seeing a
lot of these images you’re seeing a
lot of these images you’re seeing a coming from my youtube channel belief in
coming from my youtube channel belief in
coming from my youtube channel belief in fatherhood documents the misadventures
fatherhood documents the misadventures
fatherhood documents the misadventures of being a stay-at-home dad and it’s not
of being a stay-at-home dad and it’s not
of being a stay-at-home dad and it’s not perfect it’s just showing that I’m
perfect it’s just showing that I’m
perfect it’s just showing that I’m trying you know I’m not trying to be an
trying you know I’m not trying to be an
trying you know I’m not trying to be an example but just proof that it’s
example but just proof that it’s
example but just proof that it’s possible for whoever else is doing this
possible for whoever else is doing this
possible for whoever else is doing this you know what I also know about being a
you know what I also know about being a
you know what I also know about being a stay-at-home parent I knew that children
stay-at-home parent I knew that children
stay-at-home parent I knew that children needed love but I just didn’t know what
needed love but I just didn’t know what
needed love but I just didn’t know what love looked like
it turns out putting diapers on your
it turns out putting diapers on your head and play fighting until the kids
head and play fighting until the kids
head and play fighting until the kids fall asleep is a great way to love your
fall asleep is a great way to love your
fall asleep is a great way to love your parents your kids so I was learning a
parents your kids so I was learning a
parents your kids so I was learning a lot but it’s not all fun and boogers is
lot but it’s not all fun and boogers is
lot but it’s not all fun and boogers is it I asked a group of stay-at-home
it I asked a group of stay-at-home
it I asked a group of stay-at-home parents was the hardest thing the the
parents was the hardest thing the the
parents was the hardest thing the the thing they underestimated most about
thing they underestimated most about
thing they underestimated most about being stay-at-home parents and they said
being stay-at-home parents and they said
being stay-at-home parents and they said that the loneliness was one of those
that the loneliness was one of those
that the loneliness was one of those things not having someone else to talk
things not having someone else to talk
things not having someone else to talk to feeling inadequate feeling selfish
to feeling inadequate feeling selfish
to feeling inadequate feeling selfish for wanting me time in nursery rhymes
for wanting me time in nursery rhymes
for wanting me time in nursery rhymes suck like really mary had a little lamb
suck like really mary had a little lamb
suck like really mary had a little lamb is cool the first couple times but after
is cool the first couple times but after
is cool the first couple times but after all these years on repeat you wonder why
all these years on repeat you wonder why
all these years on repeat you wonder why Mary just saying make herself a wall
Mary just saying make herself a wall
Mary just saying make herself a wall skirt and have lamb chops you know what
skirt and have lamb chops you know what
skirt and have lamb chops you know what I’m saying the one thing I
I’m saying the one thing I
I’m saying the one thing I underestimated most was the emotional
underestimated most was the emotional
underestimated most was the emotional fatigue see I was an artist so I’d write
fatigue see I was an artist so I’d write
fatigue see I was an artist so I’d write songs for other artists because that’s
songs for other artists because that’s
songs for other artists because that’s how I made money from home but when
how I made money from home but when
how I made money from home but when you’re with your kids all day you become
you’re with your kids all day you become
you’re with your kids all day you become emotionally tired and that means all
emotionally tired and that means all
emotionally tired and that means all your creativity comes from your emotion
your creativity comes from your emotion
your creativity comes from your emotion so you just tapped out you’re done so
so you just tapped out you’re done so
so you just tapped out you’re done so you become done with time that time
you become done with time that time
you become done with time that time timetables timeout time like to cook
timetables timeout time like to cook
timetables timeout time like to cook with all types of time you’re just done
with all types of time you’re just done
with all types of time you’re just done you had no time for anything and some
you had no time for anything and some
you had no time for anything and some people are done with their spouse as a
people are done with their spouse as a
people are done with their spouse as a stay-at-home parent because the spouse
stay-at-home parent because the spouse
stay-at-home parent because the spouse just doesn’t get it I was talking to a
just doesn’t get it I was talking to a
just doesn’t get it I was talking to a friend of mine he said I’m man I come
friend of mine he said I’m man I come
friend of mine he said I’m man I come home from work drawers I the drawers are
home from work drawers I the drawers are
home from work drawers I the drawers are open clothes hanging outside the drawers
open clothes hanging outside the drawers
open clothes hanging outside the drawers the kids are still in their pajamas and
the kids are still in their pajamas and
the kids are still in their pajamas and it can’t be that hard
it can’t be that hard
it can’t be that hard to have dinner ready when I get home
to have dinner ready when I get home
to have dinner ready when I get home right
right
right started to freak out you know I’m saying
started to freak out you know I’m saying
started to freak out you know I’m saying like he was trying to confide in me up I
like he was trying to confide in me up I
like he was trying to confide in me up I said you have no idea what you’re
said you have no idea what you’re
said you have no idea what you’re talking about she wakes up every morning
talking about she wakes up every morning
talking about she wakes up every morning tired from the night before baby
tired from the night before baby
tired from the night before baby attached to her breads dropping this kid
attached to her breads dropping this kid
attached to her breads dropping this kid off at school taking this one to the
off at school taking this one to the
off at school taking this one to the park laundry piles up to the skies he
park laundry piles up to the skies he
park laundry piles up to the skies he has a conversation on the phone for
has a conversation on the phone for
has a conversation on the phone for hours with your mom about God knows what
hours with your mom about God knows what
hours with your mom about God knows what it takes the dog you wanted for a walk
it takes the dog you wanted for a walk
it takes the dog you wanted for a walk and nobody died bro she kept your kids
and nobody died bro she kept your kids
and nobody died bro she kept your kids alive all day that’s hard I have become
alive all day that’s hard I have become
alive all day that’s hard I have become an advocate for stay-at-home parents why
an advocate for stay-at-home parents why
an advocate for stay-at-home parents why because finally I was standing in their
because finally I was standing in their
because finally I was standing in their shoes because when you stand into
shoes because when you stand into
shoes because when you stand into someone else’s shoes you see the world
someone else’s shoes you see the world
someone else’s shoes you see the world from a different perspective and when
from a different perspective and when
from a different perspective and when you start to take steps it feels like
you start to take steps it feels like
you start to take steps it feels like baby steps wobbling but then they turn
baby steps wobbling but then they turn
baby steps wobbling but then they turn into stomps and you start making
into stomps and you start making
into stomps and you start making footprints for the next generation to
footprints for the next generation to
footprints for the next generation to walk in so we’re walking on a certain
walk in so we’re walking on a certain
walk in so we’re walking on a certain path as parents we’re all in this
path as parents we’re all in this
path as parents we’re all in this together I mean no one can deny that
together I mean no one can deny that
together I mean no one can deny that family is one of the biggest foundations
family is one of the biggest foundations
family is one of the biggest foundations in anyone’s life and we’re all walking
in anyone’s life and we’re all walking
in anyone’s life and we’re all walking on this path and we’re we’re pulling
on this path and we’re we’re pulling
on this path and we’re we’re pulling these thickets out of the way in these
these thickets out of the way in these
these thickets out of the way in these storms making it easier for the ones
storms making it easier for the ones
storms making it easier for the ones coming after us it turns out parenting
coming after us it turns out parenting
coming after us it turns out parenting has a lot more to do with landscaping
has a lot more to do with landscaping
has a lot more to do with landscaping and learning more than teaching and the
and learning more than teaching and the
and learning more than teaching and the best thing to do was to show up for
best thing to do was to show up for
best thing to do was to show up for class be present is what I learned as a
class be present is what I learned as a
class be present is what I learned as a stay-at-home dad and let your presence
stay-at-home dad and let your presence
stay-at-home dad and let your presence be a gift
this was me coming home from tour one
this was me coming home from tour one day I thought that the father was
day I thought that the father was
day I thought that the father was supposed to pursue the child but it
supposed to pursue the child but it
supposed to pursue the child but it turns out the father makes himself
turns out the father makes himself
turns out the father makes himself present and the children run after him
present and the children run after him
present and the children run after him and that right there is a superpower and
and that right there is a superpower and
and that right there is a superpower and that right there my friends is
that right there my friends is
that right there my friends is everything thank you
everything thank you
everything thank you [Applause]
”
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