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Glimpse into the mind of a woman who said yes! | Madiha Ahmed | TEDxBESC


you

you [Applause]

the society I am building loves a woman

the society I am building loves a woman who said yes to daydream but this life

who said yes to daydream but this life

who said yes to daydream but this life and challenges a woman who says yes to

and challenges a woman who says yes to

and challenges a woman who says yes to her dreams and then often say these

her dreams and then often say these

her dreams and then often say these girls today they want to study they want

girls today they want to study they want

girls today they want to study they want to work this was unheard of in our times

to work this was unheard of in our times

to work this was unheard of in our times these educated girls draped families

these educated girls draped families

these educated girls draped families they neglect the most important duty

they neglect the most important duty

they neglect the most important duty they ask why does she need to study more

they ask why does she need to study more

they ask why does she need to study more she has done her basics well why does

she has done her basics well why does

she has done her basics well why does she need to work it on her husband her

she need to work it on her husband her

she need to work it on her husband her father her son are there to support her

father her son are there to support her

father her son are there to support her why does she need an identity of her own

why does she need an identity of her own

why does she need an identity of her own she is the daughter of so-and-so the

she is the daughter of so-and-so the

she is the daughter of so-and-so the wife of so-and-so the mother of

wife of so-and-so the mother of

wife of so-and-so the mother of so-and-so and 23 a woman may say yes and

so-and-so and 23 a woman may say yes and

so-and-so and 23 a woman may say yes and find the man of her dreams all say yes

find the man of her dreams all say yes

find the man of her dreams all say yes to becoming the woman of her dreams she

to becoming the woman of her dreams she

to becoming the woman of her dreams she often has to choose what she’s told find

often has to choose what she’s told find

often has to choose what she’s told find the man of your dreams and then become

the man of your dreams and then become

the man of your dreams and then become the woman of your dreams

the woman of your dreams

the woman of your dreams Oh society’s dream now then the dilemma

Oh society’s dream now then the dilemma

Oh society’s dream now then the dilemma here what if I died while I was single

here what if I died while I was single

here what if I died while I was single and young like my neighbor and relative

and young like my neighbor and relative

and young like my neighbor and relative did what if I have none successful

did what if I have none successful

did what if I have none successful managed due to any reason like my friend

managed due to any reason like my friend

managed due to any reason like my friend did what is the person I love dies like

did what is the person I love dies like

did what is the person I love dies like my grandfather passed away leaving my

my grandfather passed away leaving my

my grandfather passed away leaving my grandmother in great misery do I have no

grandmother in great misery do I have no

grandmother in great misery do I have no purpose in life

purpose in life

thinking about all these stories the

thinking about all these stories the story of the relative who died in her

story of the relative who died in her

story of the relative who died in her early 20s I wondered about all the

early 20s I wondered about all the

early 20s I wondered about all the dreams that she may have had the dream

dreams that she may have had the dream

dreams that she may have had the dream of the man of her dreams

of the man of her dreams

of the man of her dreams the dream of becoming the woman of her

the dream of becoming the woman of her

the dream of becoming the woman of her dreams all buried thinking about the

dreams all buried thinking about the

dreams all buried thinking about the friend who had undergone an unsuccessful

friend who had undergone an unsuccessful

friend who had undergone an unsuccessful marriage made me think about the torture

marriage made me think about the torture

marriage made me think about the torture that she must be going through now

that she must be going through now

that she must be going through now thinking about those beautiful moments

thinking about those beautiful moments

thinking about those beautiful moments that she had to spend with her husband

that she had to spend with her husband

that she had to spend with her husband recalling the conversation that I had

recalling the conversation that I had

recalling the conversation that I had with my grandmother while she was here a

with my grandmother while she was here a

with my grandmother while she was here a few months back and she used to say late

few months back and she used to say late

few months back and she used to say late at night Medina your grandfather was a

at night Medina your grandfather was a

at night Medina your grandfather was a great man he loved me a lot at night

great man he loved me a lot at night

great man he loved me a lot at night even he would see that my fingernails

even he would see that my fingernails

even he would see that my fingernails were white he would tell me that he

were white he would tell me that he

were white he would tell me that he would bring her hand up on the next day

would bring her hand up on the next day

would bring her hand up on the next day just so I could be happy with my red

just so I could be happy with my red

just so I could be happy with my red nails why why do I need to get married

nails why why do I need to get married

nails why why do I need to get married first to be able to find my life’s

first to be able to find my life’s

first to be able to find my life’s purpose I realized that there were to be

purpose I realized that there were to be

purpose I realized that there were to be two challenges that were faced by the

two challenges that were faced by the

two challenges that were faced by the people around me when they lost someone

people around me when they lost someone

people around me when they lost someone that they loved either due to death or

that they loved either due to death or

that they loved either due to death or distance first depression love and

distance first depression love and

distance first depression love and ultimately losing a sense of purpose and

ultimately losing a sense of purpose and

ultimately losing a sense of purpose and second society’s thorns

second society’s thorns

second society’s thorns early on in my life I understood the

early on in my life I understood the

early on in my life I understood the importance of learning and funny when I

importance of learning and funny when I

importance of learning and funny when I was 23 two years back the female elders

was 23 two years back the female elders

was 23 two years back the female elders in my family would say that I need to

in my family would say that I need to

in my family would say that I need to learn cooking I need to learn sewing and

learn cooking I need to learn sewing and

learn cooking I need to learn sewing and I need to learn how to raise kids I had

I need to learn how to raise kids I had

I need to learn how to raise kids I had to be the complete package well when it

to be the complete package well when it

to be the complete package well when it came to booking I could cook average

came to booking I could cook average

came to booking I could cook average food as edible when it came to so

food as edible when it came to so

food as edible when it came to so I didn’t like sitting close but I

I didn’t like sitting close but I

I didn’t like sitting close but I decided to go for it because my purpose

decided to go for it because my purpose

decided to go for it because my purpose was to change lives of women and if I

was to change lives of women and if I

was to change lives of women and if I only stayed in the intellectual crowd

only stayed in the intellectual crowd

only stayed in the intellectual crowd how would I know what these women were

how would I know what these women were

how would I know what these women were learning sewing going through raising

learning sewing going through raising

learning sewing going through raising kids recently when my brother was

kids recently when my brother was

kids recently when my brother was kidnapped a nine-year-old boy and he

kidnapped a nine-year-old boy and he

kidnapped a nine-year-old boy and he returned back after 19 hours I reflected

returned back after 19 hours I reflected

returned back after 19 hours I reflected back on the five years that I spent on

back on the five years that I spent on

back on the five years that I spent on his education thinking about what helped

his education thinking about what helped

his education thinking about what helped him to come back two key factors first

him to come back two key factors first

him to come back two key factors first positive self-talk and second reflection

positive self-talk and second reflection

positive self-talk and second reflection and connection these two are traits

and connection these two are traits

and connection these two are traits which I won’t very here my personal life

which I won’t very here my personal life

which I won’t very here my personal life and my brother invite those why he was

and my brother invite those why he was

and my brother invite those why he was away 19 hours he’s otherwise the boy who

away 19 hours he’s otherwise the boy who

away 19 hours he’s otherwise the boy who fears people who feels all these

fears people who feels all these

fears people who feels all these hooligans in his head and you mix up

hooligans in his head and you mix up

hooligans in his head and you mix up stories and he fears it but those 19 are

stories and he fears it but those 19 are

stories and he fears it but those 19 are he was a brave boy he kept a mixing

he was a brave boy he kept a mixing

he was a brave boy he kept a mixing himself you find a woman to escape and

himself you find a woman to escape and

himself you find a woman to escape and God will help you he did come back

God will help you he did come back

God will help you he did come back second duel which helped him to catch

second duel which helped him to catch

second duel which helped him to catch the kidnapper was reflection and

the kidnapper was reflection and

the kidnapper was reflection and connection all the impurities that I did

connection all the impurities that I did

connection all the impurities that I did with him during those last five years of

with him during those last five years of

with him during those last five years of his life he would recall the incidents

his life he would recall the incidents

his life he would recall the incidents he could put them together he could

he could put them together he could

he could put them together he could narrate means returning from the

narrate means returning from the

narrate means returning from the kidnapper I would not want to just be

kidnapper I would not want to just be

kidnapper I would not want to just be good at these three skills all my life

good at these three skills all my life

good at these three skills all my life when it came to earning two years back I

when it came to earning two years back I

when it came to earning two years back I was totally financially dependent on the

was totally financially dependent on the

was totally financially dependent on the male members of my family and that will

male members of my family and that will

male members of my family and that will be not appreciate their efforts that

be not appreciate their efforts that

be not appreciate their efforts that means me what are the more demanding

means me what are the more demanding

means me what are the more demanding that is when I realized that all these

that is when I realized that all these

that is when I realized that all these concerns that the elders

concerns that the elders

concerns that the elders Society had when I wanted to learn or

Society had when I wanted to learn or

Society had when I wanted to learn or all what it really justified they have

all what it really justified they have

all what it really justified they have concerns about boys whether if I could

concerns about boys whether if I could

concerns about boys whether if I could have important relationships with

have important relationships with

have important relationships with relationships with them or unproductive

relationships with them or unproductive

relationships with them or unproductive interactions with boys

interactions with boys

interactions with boys they have affinity issues what why do

they have affinity issues what why do

they have affinity issues what why do you have to go out to such fun of places

you have to go out to such fun of places

you have to go out to such fun of places for study for work for events these

for study for work for events these

for study for work for events these places are out of state only your hobby

places are out of state only your hobby

places are out of state only your hobby when Meredith asked what is it that your

when Meredith asked what is it that your

when Meredith asked what is it that your daughter or granddaughter or me so

daughter or granddaughter or me so

daughter or granddaughter or me so whoever does and they would say oh it’s

whoever does and they would say oh it’s

whoever does and they would say oh it’s just a hobby

just a hobby

just a hobby maybe I wasn’t good enough at what I did

maybe I wasn’t good enough at what I did

maybe I wasn’t good enough at what I did permission needed why didn’t you seek a

permission needed why didn’t you seek a

permission needed why didn’t you seek a permission before enrolling obedience

permission before enrolling obedience

permission before enrolling obedience you are so good outside people praise

you are so good outside people praise

you are so good outside people praise you but to get you at home you’re so

you but to get you at home you’re so

you but to get you at home you’re so disrespectful and disobedient towards

disrespectful and disobedient towards

disrespectful and disobedient towards your elders

your elders

your elders well what it give to boys we can’t have

well what it give to boys we can’t have

well what it give to boys we can’t have an all-female world

an all-female world

an all-female world that’s impossible when it came to safety

that’s impossible when it came to safety

that’s impossible when it came to safety how safe are our homes and schools when

how safe are our homes and schools when

how safe are our homes and schools when it gave to just a hobby well I would

it gave to just a hobby well I would

it gave to just a hobby well I would learn and I would show them permission

learn and I would show them permission

learn and I would show them permission needed when the people who indulged in

needed when the people who indulged in

needed when the people who indulged in unethical practices could use their

unethical practices could use their

unethical practices could use their brains and big brain for the wrong that

brains and big brain for the wrong that

brains and big brain for the wrong that did it

did it

did it why couldn’t I use my brain and be brave

why couldn’t I use my brain and be brave

why couldn’t I use my brain and be brave for my life’s purpose obedience well

for my life’s purpose obedience well

for my life’s purpose obedience well that’s a cultural thing I do not need

that’s a cultural thing I do not need

that’s a cultural thing I do not need permission to follow to obey God and

permission to follow to obey God and

permission to follow to obey God and obey he created me and I had to obey Him

obey he created me and I had to obey Him

obey he created me and I had to obey Him and by how would I do that

and by how would I do that

and by how would I do that I was fulfilling my life’s

I was fulfilling my life’s

I was fulfilling my life’s so what is it that I wanted two years

so what is it that I wanted two years

so what is it that I wanted two years back I did not know what was it that I

back I did not know what was it that I

back I did not know what was it that I did what I knew I knew I didn’t want to

did what I knew I knew I didn’t want to

did what I knew I knew I didn’t want to be that woman who spent her days

be that woman who spent her days

be that woman who spent her days thinking about what food to make and so

thinking about what food to make and so

thinking about what food to make and so I think what do we learn too much who

I think what do we learn too much who

I think what do we learn too much who spent her days finally arguing with my

spent her days finally arguing with my

spent her days finally arguing with my parents with my in-laws with my spouse

parents with my in-laws with my spouse

parents with my in-laws with my spouse children neighbors I didn’t want to be

children neighbors I didn’t want to be

children neighbors I didn’t want to be that no one

that no one

that no one although like those women whom I saw at

although like those women whom I saw at

although like those women whom I saw at the airport while I was traveling to

the airport while I was traveling to

the airport while I was traveling to sooner my room table all night knows

sooner my room table all night knows

sooner my room table all night knows women that I found that the gym were

women that I found that the gym were

women that I found that the gym were only talking about which market you

only talking about which market you

only talking about which market you would go to which offer they would drag

would go to which offer they would drag

would go to which offer they would drag hold of which fashion trends they would

hold of which fashion trends they would

hold of which fashion trends they would follow I didn’t want to be that one who

follow I didn’t want to be that one who

follow I didn’t want to be that one who would give that excuse to the next

would give that excuse to the next

would give that excuse to the next generation the world is like that this

generation the world is like that this

generation the world is like that this is how it has always been no average is

is how it has always been no average is

is how it has always been no average is boring and that is not going to be me

boring and that is not going to be me

boring and that is not going to be me that is what I have decided

I am NOT going to repeat history I know

I am NOT going to repeat history I know it myself

it myself

it myself history was my favorite subject at

history was my favorite subject at

history was my favorite subject at school

school

school and I believe that history is about

and I believe that history is about

and I believe that history is about stories stories of people stories of

stories stories of people stories of

stories stories of people stories of people who impacted other people and I

people who impacted other people and I

people who impacted other people and I have to change history but changing

have to change history but changing

have to change history but changing history require changing stories and I

history require changing stories and I

history require changing stories and I at 23 or even now at 25 I can change all

at 23 or even now at 25 I can change all

at 23 or even now at 25 I can change all the stories of people but yes I can

the stories of people but yes I can

the stories of people but yes I can change my story and if I change my story

change my story and if I change my story

change my story and if I change my story the world will know a new story here

the world will know a new story here

the world will know a new story here this dilemma was mainly due to the

this dilemma was mainly due to the

this dilemma was mainly due to the family and the friends that I was

family and the friends that I was

family and the friends that I was surrounded by the family and friends

surrounded by the family and friends

surrounded by the family and friends somehow a modern and some who were

somehow a modern and some who were

somehow a modern and some who were religious modern religious those who are

religious modern religious those who are

religious modern religious those who are modern practiced those who are religious

modern practiced those who are religious

modern practiced those who are religious preached those who are modest will look

preached those who are modest will look

preached those who are modest will look down upon as those test him for him

down upon as those test him for him

down upon as those test him for him those who are religious dreamt of heaven

those who are religious dreamt of heaven

those who are religious dreamt of heaven and paradise I wanted to lead by example

so the last two years that I spent on

so the last two years that I spent on learning helped me acquire skills and

learning helped me acquire skills and

learning helped me acquire skills and today I have talent manager at the

today I have talent manager at the

today I have talent manager at the us-based virtual company chief

us-based virtual company chief

us-based virtual company chief strategist at an educational

strategist at an educational

strategist at an educational organization with my partners in Noida

organization with my partners in Noida

organization with my partners in Noida CEO and a social enterprise that

CEO and a social enterprise that

CEO and a social enterprise that empowers others to need a heading as a

empowers others to need a heading as a

empowers others to need a heading as a local expert in Delta and if no American

local expert in Delta and if no American

local expert in Delta and if no American collaboration that promotes women in

collaboration that promotes women in

collaboration that promotes women in STEM studies the personal development

STEM studies the personal development

STEM studies the personal development courses that I took

courses that I took

courses that I took help me to say sorry sorry I was wrong

help me to say sorry sorry I was wrong

help me to say sorry sorry I was wrong I’ve not to admit my mistakes and learn

I’ve not to admit my mistakes and learn

I’ve not to admit my mistakes and learn from them and to be better each day than

from them and to be better each day than

from them and to be better each day than I was the day before these courses

I was the day before these courses

I was the day before these courses learning helped me to get clarity of

learning helped me to get clarity of

learning helped me to get clarity of purpose and my mind opened up two years

purpose and my mind opened up two years

purpose and my mind opened up two years back I was earning around 6,000

back I was earning around 6,000

back I was earning around 6,000 individual peas small amount but that

individual peas small amount but that

individual peas small amount but that gives me that little economic

gives me that little economic

gives me that little economic independence that I needed I insisted to

independence that I needed I insisted to

independence that I needed I insisted to my father that I would pay at least one

my father that I would pay at least one

my father that I would pay at least one billet just to give out the message that

billet just to give out the message that

billet just to give out the message that my money is ours too

what I wanted to years back wasn’t clear

what I wanted to years back wasn’t clear to me as I told you two years back what

to me as I told you two years back what

to me as I told you two years back what I was looking for wasn’t very clear to

I was looking for wasn’t very clear to

I was looking for wasn’t very clear to me if I had married two years back I

would have found the man of my dreams

would have found the man of my dreams dead but how can I know who the man of

dead but how can I know who the man of

dead but how can I know who the man of my dreams is if I do not know and I have

my dreams is if I do not know and I have

my dreams is if I do not know and I have not become the woman of my dreams by

not become the woman of my dreams by

not become the woman of my dreams by saying no to man of my dreams two years

saying no to man of my dreams two years

saying no to man of my dreams two years back I said yes to me

back I said yes to me

back I said yes to me I said yes to becoming the woman of my

I said yes to becoming the woman of my

I said yes to becoming the woman of my dreams and that changed everything

[Applause]

[Applause] and get better the world will get better

and get better the world will get better

and get better the world will get better and evolve I am going to keep striving

and evolve I am going to keep striving

and evolve I am going to keep striving to be that empowered woman of my dreams

to be that empowered woman of my dreams

to be that empowered woman of my dreams who will create a world where I can

who will create a world where I can

who will create a world where I can raise and empowered generations to come

raise and empowered generations to come

raise and empowered generations to come and in case in case my time is up on the

and in case in case my time is up on the

and in case in case my time is up on the earth choose any reason at least I can

earth choose any reason at least I can

earth choose any reason at least I can face God and tend him god I did my best

face God and tend him god I did my best

face God and tend him god I did my best with every talent every gift every

with every talent every gift every

with every talent every gift every blessing that you gave me before I leave

blessing that you gave me before I leave

blessing that you gave me before I leave I asked you this question what are you

I asked you this question what are you

I asked you this question what are you going to say to yourself before you say

going to say to yourself before you say

going to say to yourself before you say that to those you love yes or no thank

that to those you love yes or no thank

that to those you love yes or no thank you

you

you [Applause]

”

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