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The Tormented Artist | Nandini Chand | TEDxYouth@DPSRKPuram


I love writing I like looking at things

I love writing I like looking at things with an otherworldly and serial

with an otherworldly and serial

with an otherworldly and serial perspective ever since I was 13 and felt

perspective ever since I was 13 and felt

perspective ever since I was 13 and felt my first surge of hormonal emotions I

my first surge of hormonal emotions I

my first surge of hormonal emotions I scribbled it in uneven lines and curves

scribbled it in uneven lines and curves

scribbled it in uneven lines and curves and called it a poem but I also

and called it a poem but I also

and called it a poem but I also internalized the expectation that people

internalized the expectation that people

internalized the expectation that people like me are supposed to be intense and

like me are supposed to be intense and

like me are supposed to be intense and even have a dark side soon I started

even have a dark side soon I started

even have a dark side soon I started craving and unhealthy isolation hoping

craving and unhealthy isolation hoping

craving and unhealthy isolation hoping to create something out of the edgy air

to create something out of the edgy air

to create something out of the edgy air that envelope to me I took it as a curse

that envelope to me I took it as a curse

that envelope to me I took it as a curse and not a blessing to feel too much too

and not a blessing to feel too much too

and not a blessing to feel too much too deeply feelings of achievement in

deeply feelings of achievement in

deeply feelings of achievement in writing severely emo poetry clouded my

writing severely emo poetry clouded my

writing severely emo poetry clouded my judgment and I lost touch with myself

judgment and I lost touch with myself

judgment and I lost touch with myself and what really made me happy anymore

and what really made me happy anymore

and what really made me happy anymore that’s when I noticed a pattern

that’s when I noticed a pattern

that’s when I noticed a pattern remember the Britney Spears meltdown in

remember the Britney Spears meltdown in

remember the Britney Spears meltdown in 2007

2007

2007 yeah pictures of a freshly shaved head

yeah pictures of a freshly shaved head

yeah pictures of a freshly shaved head were on every hot gossip tabloid the

were on every hot gossip tabloid the

were on every hot gossip tabloid the paparazzi paraded after her called her

paparazzi paraded after her called her

paparazzi paraded after her called her an out-of-shape washed-up hillbilly all

an out-of-shape washed-up hillbilly all

an out-of-shape washed-up hillbilly all that in the midst of a battle with drug

that in the midst of a battle with drug

that in the midst of a battle with drug addiction a recent divorce a failed

addiction a recent divorce a failed

addiction a recent divorce a failed comeback in the music industry and

comeback in the music industry and

comeback in the music industry and losing custody of her two sons we find

losing custody of her two sons we find

losing custody of her two sons we find ourselves public figures on the verge of

ourselves public figures on the verge of

ourselves public figures on the verge of spiraling or even diseased artists who

spiraling or even diseased artists who

spiraling or even diseased artists who may or may not have acclaimed fame but

may or may not have acclaimed fame but

may or may not have acclaimed fame but we sensationalized a cry for help and if

we sensationalized a cry for help and if

we sensationalized a cry for help and if you think there’s something romantic

you think there’s something romantic

you think there’s something romantic about an artist on the brink of

about an artist on the brink of

about an artist on the brink of instability being resurrected by

instability being resurrected by

instability being resurrected by thoughtless idealization I’m gonna have

thoughtless idealization I’m gonna have

thoughtless idealization I’m gonna have to ask you to think it over

to ask you to think it over

to ask you to think it over now if we all visualize a writer we’d

now if we all visualize a writer we’d

now if we all visualize a writer we’d probably find him cornered in a darkroom

probably find him cornered in a darkroom

probably find him cornered in a darkroom frustrated with life tossing thorn balls

frustrated with life tossing thorn balls

frustrated with life tossing thorn balls of paper into the wastepaper basket

of paper into the wastepaper basket

of paper into the wastepaper basket that’s a zoo behavior or maybe another

that’s a zoo behavior or maybe another

that’s a zoo behavior or maybe another sir let’s think of a musician who’s on

sir let’s think of a musician who’s on

sir let’s think of a musician who’s on the feet who’s on the peak of her career

the feet who’s on the peak of her career

the feet who’s on the peak of her career who’s abusing drugs behind closed doors

who’s abusing drugs behind closed doors

who’s abusing drugs behind closed doors because of course that’s where she gets

because of course that’s where she gets

because of course that’s where she gets her eccentric male Springs not the fact

her eccentric male Springs not the fact

her eccentric male Springs not the fact that she is actually talented or

that she is actually talented or

that she is actually talented or creative not at all

creative not at all

creative not at all you see we as an audience loved the

you see we as an audience loved the

you see we as an audience loved the emotion stirred up by work that is

emotion stirred up by work that is

emotion stirred up by work that is unconventional a study conducted later

unconventional a study conducted later

unconventional a study conducted later belief that because of this very cliche

belief that because of this very cliche

belief that because of this very cliche people infer the work made by an

people infer the work made by an

people infer the work made by an eccentric individual to be a way more

eccentric individual to be a way more

eccentric individual to be a way more value than work made by conforming

value than work made by conforming

value than work made by conforming individual what’s wrong with this is

individual what’s wrong with this is

individual what’s wrong with this is that we don’t even consider their work

that we don’t even consider their work

that we don’t even consider their work authentic till they suffer from any sort

authentic till they suffer from any sort

authentic till they suffer from any sort of problem or disorder granted there are

of problem or disorder granted there are

of problem or disorder granted there are a lot of mentally ill artists entering

a lot of mentally ill artists entering

a lot of mentally ill artists entering these domains but that’s only because

these domains but that’s only because

these domains but that’s only because there’s so much more toleration and

there’s so much more toleration and

there’s so much more toleration and acceptance present here but to think of

acceptance present here but to think of

acceptance present here but to think of how limited our opinions have become and

how limited our opinions have become and

how limited our opinions have become and to be candid sure some of these notions

to be candid sure some of these notions

to be candid sure some of these notions do make sense did any experimental

do make sense did any experimental

do make sense did any experimental journal is grim the rabbit hole appears

journal is grim the rabbit hole appears

journal is grim the rabbit hole appears because of the maelstrom of rejection

because of the maelstrom of rejection

because of the maelstrom of rejection and self-doubt but rather than facing

and self-doubt but rather than facing

and self-doubt but rather than facing these predicaments head-on it just

these predicaments head-on it just

these predicaments head-on it just becomes so accustomed to them because

becomes so accustomed to them because

becomes so accustomed to them because for the outside world they’re just a

for the outside world they’re just a

for the outside world they’re just a price to pay

price to pay

price to pay we’re so consumed with these conjectures

we’re so consumed with these conjectures

we’re so consumed with these conjectures so much that we made an entire club

so much that we made an entire club

so much that we made an entire club about it

about it

about it the infamous 27 club here’s where it

the infamous 27 club here’s where it

the infamous 27 club here’s where it gets interesting this club names moguls

gets interesting this club names moguls

gets interesting this club names moguls like Kurt Cobain Jimi Hendrix and Jim

like Kurt Cobain Jimi Hendrix and Jim

like Kurt Cobain Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison among others all who died at 27

Morrison among others all who died at 27

Morrison among others all who died at 27 due to various causes and dominated the

due to various causes and dominated the

due to various causes and dominated the music industry at one point a conspiracy

music industry at one point a conspiracy

music industry at one point a conspiracy theory links the club with the occult

theory links the club with the occult

theory links the club with the occult saying that these musicians catastrophic

saying that these musicians catastrophic

saying that these musicians catastrophic deaths were the result of them selling

deaths were the result of them selling

deaths were the result of them selling their soul to Satan that’s right Satan

their soul to Satan that’s right Satan

their soul to Satan that’s right Satan we’ve gone to such extent to deny how

we’ve gone to such extent to deny how

we’ve gone to such extent to deny how we’ve kept our artists in such a

we’ve kept our artists in such a

we’ve kept our artists in such a constricted mold that we point fingers

constricted mold that we point fingers

constricted mold that we point fingers on the devil oh and there’s also theory

on the devil oh and there’s also theory

on the devil oh and there’s also theory which says that they all died with big

which says that they all died with big

which says that they all died with big lighters in their pockets and with that

lighters in their pockets and with that

lighters in their pockets and with that logic I’m just waiting for 70% of pop

logic I’m just waiting for 70% of pop

logic I’m just waiting for 70% of pop delis population to drop dead you see

delis population to drop dead you see

delis population to drop dead you see they’re all artists with the scope to

they’re all artists with the scope to

they’re all artists with the scope to grow as artists and as individuals we

grow as artists and as individuals we

grow as artists and as individuals we wanted evolution of their work yet we

wanted evolution of their work yet we

wanted evolution of their work yet we don’t give them much leeway to do so we

don’t give them much leeway to do so we

don’t give them much leeway to do so we get the rock and roll persona but if we

get the rock and roll persona but if we

get the rock and roll persona but if we don’t get the same disposition after the

don’t get the same disposition after the

don’t get the same disposition after the blow up a team we’re disappointed

blow up a team we’re disappointed

blow up a team we’re disappointed because according to us now they lack

because according to us now they lack

because according to us now they lack their original quintessence the icon in

their original quintessence the icon in

their original quintessence the icon in was put under immense pressure by her

was put under immense pressure by her

was put under immense pressure by her label to write and release an album even

label to write and release an album even

label to write and release an album even when she repeatedly pleaded for more

when she repeatedly pleaded for more

when she repeatedly pleaded for more time to get the creative juices flowing

time to get the creative juices flowing

time to get the creative juices flowing more naturally this simply threatened to

more naturally this simply threatened to

more naturally this simply threatened to kick her out you may know Elizabeth

kick her out you may know Elizabeth

kick her out you may know Elizabeth Gilbert the author of Eat Pray Love and

Gilbert the author of Eat Pray Love and

Gilbert the author of Eat Pray Love and former diner waitress was being hit with

former diner waitress was being hit with

former diner waitress was being hit with rejections back to back before her

rejections back to back before her

rejections back to back before her best-selling breakthrough she thought of

best-selling breakthrough she thought of

best-selling breakthrough she thought of it as a game of tennis for every

it as a game of tennis for every

it as a game of tennis for every rejection being smashed into her court

rejection being smashed into her court

rejection being smashed into her court she rose to the challenge and sent out

she rose to the challenge and sent out

she rose to the challenge and sent out another submission elsewhere

another submission elsewhere

another submission elsewhere she took the upper hand and she put out

she took the upper hand and she put out

she took the upper hand and she put out Eat Pray Love which is pretty much a

Eat Pray Love which is pretty much a

Eat Pray Love which is pretty much a self-help Bible for people alike and in

self-help Bible for people alike and in

self-help Bible for people alike and in fact reading that very book turned most

fact reading that very book turned most

fact reading that very book turned most of us into spiritual meditative Yogi’s

of us into spiritual meditative Yogi’s

of us into spiritual meditative Yogi’s with a self-indulgent gelato addiction

with a self-indulgent gelato addiction

with a self-indulgent gelato addiction any person who works tirelessly to

any person who works tirelessly to

any person who works tirelessly to succeed as an artist a poet musician or

succeed as an artist a poet musician or

succeed as an artist a poet musician or to delve into any creative adventure

to delve into any creative adventure

to delve into any creative adventure needs to have the mental toughness to

needs to have the mental toughness to

needs to have the mental toughness to bulldoze through insurmountable

bulldoze through insurmountable

bulldoze through insurmountable rejections

rejections

rejections if a person is manically depressed or

if a person is manically depressed or

if a person is manically depressed or miserable they can’t face the rejection

miserable they can’t face the rejection

miserable they can’t face the rejection or the long hours of work yet we

or the long hours of work yet we

or the long hours of work yet we associate artists with melancholy and

associate artists with melancholy and

associate artists with melancholy and depression personally every time I try

depression personally every time I try

depression personally every time I try to tell someone I write poetry I met

to tell someone I write poetry I met

to tell someone I write poetry I met with bamboozled glares and then they ask

with bamboozled glares and then they ask

with bamboozled glares and then they ask me that golden question

me that golden question

me that golden question Wow are you depressed no no I’m not

Wow are you depressed no no I’m not

Wow are you depressed no no I’m not another time I got into a heated

another time I got into a heated

another time I got into a heated argument and someone called me a

argument and someone called me a

argument and someone called me a rejected melancholic poet not only is

rejected melancholic poet not only is

rejected melancholic poet not only is that totally uninformed but that’s

that totally uninformed but that’s

that totally uninformed but that’s really ignorant because artists have the

really ignorant because artists have the

really ignorant because artists have the leverage to take despair to take sadness

leverage to take despair to take sadness

leverage to take despair to take sadness and turn it into hopeful art which

and turn it into hopeful art which

and turn it into hopeful art which touches lives how could you give that a

touches lives how could you give that a

touches lives how could you give that a bad name here’s a piece I wrote on this

bad name here’s a piece I wrote on this

bad name here’s a piece I wrote on this very prevalent issue lines are

very prevalent issue lines are

very prevalent issue lines are diaphanous delicate as they are between

diaphanous delicate as they are between

diaphanous delicate as they are between a push to glory and a push over the edge

a push to glory and a push over the edge

a push to glory and a push over the edge pop a bottle of bubbly

pop a bottle of bubbly

pop a bottle of bubbly – celebration congratulations on your

– celebration congratulations on your

– celebration congratulations on your success

success

success greeted with smiles adorned with love

greeted with smiles adorned with love

greeted with smiles adorned with love jealousy pride and admiration what next

jealousy pride and admiration what next

jealousy pride and admiration what next stagger – confined havens a little

stagger – confined havens a little

stagger – confined havens a little something to take the edge off shoot a

something to take the edge off shoot a

something to take the edge off shoot a pitch up your wins a rush of dopamine

pitch up your wins a rush of dopamine

pitch up your wins a rush of dopamine the fourth of a day a battle lost

the fourth of a day a battle lost

the fourth of a day a battle lost already the graveness of a know of a

already the graveness of a know of a

already the graveness of a know of a human hand of anything but a camera

human hand of anything but a camera

human hand of anything but a camera flash of honest eye contact of love to

flash of honest eye contact of love to

flash of honest eye contact of love to grow and create not the desperation to

grow and create not the desperation to

grow and create not the desperation to simulate the art in bursts the face of

simulate the art in bursts the face of

simulate the art in bursts the face of amusement never heard of before

amusement never heard of before

amusement never heard of before bemusement given a new rise a battle one

bemusement given a new rise a battle one

bemusement given a new rise a battle one before it’s finally over so let’s not

before it’s finally over so let’s not

before it’s finally over so let’s not hold artists prisoners of their own

hold artists prisoners of their own

hold artists prisoners of their own image what artists do is beautiful art

image what artists do is beautiful art

image what artists do is beautiful art as they say is our only salvation from

as they say is our only salvation from

as they say is our only salvation from the horror of existence but more than

the horror of existence but more than

the horror of existence but more than that it’s an art in itself to pour out

that it’s an art in itself to pour out

that it’s an art in itself to pour out your heart expose the deepest parts of

your heart expose the deepest parts of

your heart expose the deepest parts of your soul oblivious to what may come

your soul oblivious to what may come

your soul oblivious to what may come next that sort of courage to create

next that sort of courage to create

next that sort of courage to create perpetually is noteworthy and something

perpetually is noteworthy and something

perpetually is noteworthy and something abreu hard artists – with each stroke

abreu hard artists – with each stroke

abreu hard artists – with each stroke and a canvas

and a canvas

and a canvas each note song out loud and every word

each note song out loud and every word

each note song out loud and every word on paper let artists manifest this while

on paper let artists manifest this while

on paper let artists manifest this while in a positive and supportive environment

in a positive and supportive environment

in a positive and supportive environment because it’s much easier to create out

because it’s much easier to create out

because it’s much easier to create out of passion and love rather than sell

of passion and love rather than sell

of passion and love rather than sell driven anguish and pity thank you

driven anguish and pity thank you

driven anguish and pity thank you [Applause]

”

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