[Applause] who here’s a high-fiber who just gives a
who here’s a high-fiber who just gives a
who here’s a high-fiber who just gives a thumbs-up
are you the hugger or in the huggy
are you the hugger or in the huggy do you give the high-fives or do you
do you give the high-fives or do you
do you give the high-fives or do you receive them did you initiate the do
receive them did you initiate the do
receive them did you initiate the do your friends well I have a confession I
your friends well I have a confession I
your friends well I have a confession I have a really big problem too big almost
have a really big problem too big almost
have a really big problem too big almost okay
okay
okay I am needy I cry a lot and I can’t stand
I am needy I cry a lot and I can’t stand
I am needy I cry a lot and I can’t stand being cut out on any of these things
being cut out on any of these things
being cut out on any of these things right let’s go back a little bit
right let’s go back a little bit
right let’s go back a little bit I think this became my problem when I
I think this became my problem when I
I think this became my problem when I was little my dad wouldn’t let me stay
was little my dad wouldn’t let me stay
was little my dad wouldn’t let me stay home with anyone so I had to go to
home with anyone so I had to go to
home with anyone so I had to go to daycare which was something I absolutely
daycare which was something I absolutely
daycare which was something I absolutely hated this is probably a necessary
hated this is probably a necessary
hated this is probably a necessary experience because it taught me can I
experience because it taught me can I
experience because it taught me can I communicate with kids my age but at the
communicate with kids my age but at the
communicate with kids my age but at the same time that taught me as a
same time that taught me as a
same time that taught me as a six-year-old that what I wanted which
six-year-old that what I wanted which
six-year-old that what I wanted which was hugs and ptosis and cuddles was
was hugs and ptosis and cuddles was
was hugs and ptosis and cuddles was something that people who people would
something that people who people would
something that people who people would judge me for it taught me to be afraid
judge me for it taught me to be afraid
judge me for it taught me to be afraid of what I wanted and I know logically
of what I wanted and I know logically
of what I wanted and I know logically ten years later that I should ask for
ten years later that I should ask for
ten years later that I should ask for what I need as well as you know people
what I need as well as you know people
what I need as well as you know people receiving it but I still harbor that
receiving it but I still harbor that
receiving it but I still harbor that fear that I created for myself ten years
fear that I created for myself ten years
fear that I created for myself ten years ago let me give you some examples and
ago let me give you some examples and
ago let me give you some examples and the time so once I hugged my friends and
the time so once I hugged my friends and
the time so once I hugged my friends and everything
everything
everything but if this isn’t how their families do
but if this isn’t how their families do
but if this isn’t how their families do things people are often rated
things people are often rated
things people are often rated comfortable by this as you may have
comfortable by this as you may have
comfortable by this as you may have noticed I am one of the twenty four
noticed I am one of the twenty four
noticed I am one of the twenty four percent Hispanic students here at South
percent Hispanic students here at South
percent Hispanic students here at South West Pacific school I mean only not the
West Pacific school I mean only not the
West Pacific school I mean only not the United my friend group of mostly white
United my friend group of mostly white
United my friend group of mostly white kids
kids
kids although physical connection isn’t
although physical connection isn’t
although physical connection isn’t necessarily universal and nineteen your
necessarily universal and nineteen your
necessarily universal and nineteen your families
families
families my experience with black culture has
my experience with black culture has
my experience with black culture has been one that employs a lot
been one that employs a lot
been one that employs a lot physicalities my family is loud and
physicalities my family is loud and
physicalities my family is loud and talkative and verbal with their loved
talkative and verbal with their loved
talkative and verbal with their loved use I don’t think the house about hug
use I don’t think the house about hug
use I don’t think the house about hug and kiss for my mother and I grew up
and kiss for my mother and I grew up
and kiss for my mother and I grew up believing that a hug could care of any
believing that a hug could care of any
believing that a hug could care of any type of sadness even if my friends
type of sadness even if my friends
type of sadness even if my friends families are loving and secure they
families are loving and secure they
families are loving and secure they don’t necessarily have the same physical
don’t necessarily have the same physical
don’t necessarily have the same physical connection that I do is my last summer
connection that I do is my last summer
connection that I do is my last summer stands out as a very low point in my
stands out as a very low point in my
stands out as a very low point in my life last year I broke my foot playing
life last year I broke my foot playing
life last year I broke my foot playing tennis and it was hurt even more because
tennis and it was hurt even more because
tennis and it was hurt even more because I didn’t get it treated I ended up
I didn’t get it treated I ended up
I didn’t get it treated I ended up having to get surgery to get a bone in
having to get surgery to get a bone in
having to get surgery to get a bone in my foot removed so for half of the
my foot removed so for half of the
my foot removed so for half of the summer I couldn’t do anything without
summer I couldn’t do anything without
summer I couldn’t do anything without the help of someone else and this time
the help of someone else and this time
the help of someone else and this time of great stress I internalized my
of great stress I internalized my
of great stress I internalized my problem I told myself that what I needed
problem I told myself that what I needed
problem I told myself that what I needed to get better which was perfection the
to get better which was perfection the
to get better which was perfection the company of mothers and rehabilitation
company of mothers and rehabilitation
company of mothers and rehabilitation was not something that I deserved I told
was not something that I deserved I told
was not something that I deserved I told myself that I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s
myself that I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s
myself that I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s help or time let me ask you this at what
help or time let me ask you this at what
help or time let me ask you this at what point in the history of humans did we
point in the history of humans did we
point in the history of humans did we decide that asking people for what we
decide that asking people for what we
decide that asking people for what we need was irrelevant and what point did
need was irrelevant and what point did
need was irrelevant and what point did we as a collective group say that we
we as a collective group say that we
we as a collective group say that we cannot express our affection for others
cannot express our affection for others
cannot express our affection for others for fear of being judged when did my
for fear of being judged when did my
for fear of being judged when did my yearning for closeness become a problem
yearning for closeness become a problem
yearning for closeness become a problem it’s always felt this way and I want to
it’s always felt this way and I want to
it’s always felt this way and I want to start a genuine curiosity and dialogue
start a genuine curiosity and dialogue
start a genuine curiosity and dialogue because it doesn’t always have to be
because it doesn’t always have to be
because it doesn’t always have to be this way
this way
this way so yes I’ve talked a lot about my
so yes I’ve talked a lot about my
so yes I’ve talked a lot about my personal problems how I felt like I mean
personal problems how I felt like I mean
personal problems how I felt like I mean II have afraid I’ll be needy
II have afraid I’ll be needy
II have afraid I’ll be needy and it’s like a comment in I mean you
and it’s like a comment in I mean you
and it’s like a comment in I mean you just stop saying that word please
just stop saying that word please
just stop saying that word please everything will be so much better she
everything will be so much better she
everything will be so much better she just stopped or and I have to agree with
just stopped or and I have to agree with
just stopped or and I have to agree with you
you
you you’re right I think the solution to the
you’re right I think the solution to the
you’re right I think the solution to the sleepiness issue is changing our
sleepiness issue is changing our
sleepiness issue is changing our perspective on it I will stop me when I
perspective on it I will stop me when I
perspective on it I will stop me when I stop seeing myself as such we need to
stop seeing myself as such we need to
stop seeing myself as such we need to stop self sabotaging out of fear but
stop self sabotaging out of fear but
stop self sabotaging out of fear but other people will think of us I want you
other people will think of us I want you
other people will think of us I want you to think of something you want whether
to think of something you want whether
to think of something you want whether it be smaller baby hug fresh a
it be smaller baby hug fresh a
it be smaller baby hug fresh a relationship or ride home and just like
relationship or ride home and just like
relationship or ride home and just like you’re so happy because yes you might
you’re so happy because yes you might
you’re so happy because yes you might get it no but most of the times you will
get it no but most of the times you will
get it no but most of the times you will get a yes and that is what really
get a yes and that is what really
get a yes and that is what really matters we can’t hide ourselves from the
matters we can’t hide ourselves from the
matters we can’t hide ourselves from the people we care about we can’t just go
people we care about we can’t just go
people we care about we can’t just go along with idly when you leave the salon
along with idly when you leave the salon
along with idly when you leave the salon I want you to have a clear view of how
I want you to have a clear view of how
I want you to have a clear view of how you’re going to change the way need to
you’re going to change the way need to
you’re going to change the way need to communicate when you connect with others
communicate when you connect with others
communicate when you connect with others if you’re anything like me and trust
if you’re anything like me and trust
if you’re anything like me and trust that all of you will have any point in
that all of you will have any point in
that all of you will have any point in your lives I want you to trust yourself
your lives I want you to trust yourself
your lives I want you to trust yourself trust that you know what you want and
trust that you know what you want and
trust that you know what you want and you know what you need and you know what
you know what you need and you know what
you know what you need and you know what will make you happy be confident and
will make you happy be confident and
will make you happy be confident and trust me I know this is so much easier
trust me I know this is so much easier
trust me I know this is so much easier said than done
said than done
said than done do you have to be vulnerable and
do you have to be vulnerable and
do you have to be vulnerable and expressing your love for people
expressing your love for people
expressing your love for people vulnerable when you tell people what you
vulnerable when you tell people what you
vulnerable when you tell people what you need but that will make you so much
need but that will make you so much
need but that will make you so much better for all the times that you’re not
better for all the times that you’re not
better for all the times that you’re not feeling this way but you have someone
feeling this way but you have someone
feeling this way but you have someone that is reach out a hand to them because
that is reach out a hand to them because
that is reach out a hand to them because sometimes articulating a plan for help
sometimes articulating a plan for help
sometimes articulating a plan for help it was so so hard trust me my problem
it was so so hard trust me my problem
it was so so hard trust me my problem isn’t just my own and trust me my
isn’t just my own and trust me my
isn’t just my own and trust me my confession will be relevant throughout
confession will be relevant throughout
confession will be relevant throughout my entire life I’m high maintenance and
my entire life I’m high maintenance and
my entire life I’m high maintenance and I’m okay with it
I’m okay with it
I’m okay with it thank you
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
”
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