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Sharks and Self Pity | Fox Beyer | TEDxHickory


hello hello hello you written you’re

hello hello hello you written you’re here he responding that’s good as I

here he responding that’s good as I

here he responding that’s good as I thank you I say that I said one of the

thank you I say that I said one of the

thank you I say that I said one of the most interesting names that he’s that

most interesting names that he’s that

most interesting names that he’s that he’s come to know and thank you

he’s come to know and thank you

he’s come to know and thank you hopefully now I have an interesting

hopefully now I have an interesting

hopefully now I have an interesting story to begin there have been very very

story to begin there have been very very

story to begin there have been very very many interesting interpretations of my

many interesting interpretations of my

many interesting interpretations of my name over time so fo x let’s just spell

name over time so fo x let’s just spell

name over time so fo x let’s just spell it fox5 three letters very simple well

it fox5 three letters very simple well

it fox5 three letters very simple well 17 years ago I coached a baseball team

17 years ago I coached a baseball team

17 years ago I coached a baseball team in the coastal plains leading down and

in the coastal plains leading down and

in the coastal plains leading down and are over in Edenton North Carolina with

are over in Edenton North Carolina with

are over in Edenton North Carolina with my friends Stewart’s and we stayed that

my friends Stewart’s and we stayed that

my friends Stewart’s and we stayed that summer with a house mother named Ruth

summer with a house mother named Ruth

summer with a house mother named Ruth and during game days I myself alone

and during game days I myself alone

and during game days I myself alone would walk to a local Inlet or beach to

would walk to a local Inlet or beach to

would walk to a local Inlet or beach to read so I did this one morning Ruth was

read so I did this one morning Ruth was

read so I did this one morning Ruth was there it was just me and Ruth in the

there it was just me and Ruth in the

there it was just me and Ruth in the house Stewart had gone out to run some

house Stewart had gone out to run some

house Stewart had gone out to run some errands and she said hey you where are

errands and she said hey you where are

errands and she said hey you where are you going I said you I’m the only person

you going I said you I’m the only person

you going I said you I’m the only person here why would you call me you but I’m

here why would you call me you but I’m

here why would you call me you but I’m going to the beach so I did and I guess

going to the beach so I did and I guess

going to the beach so I did and I guess I was at the beach and Stewart came back

I was at the beach and Stewart came back

I was at the beach and Stewart came back and obviously I was not there he asked

and obviously I was not there he asked

and obviously I was not there he asked Ruth where is he and Ruth said frog is

Ruth where is he and Ruth said frog is

Ruth where is he and Ruth said frog is at the beach she called me frog so with

at the beach she called me frog so with

at the beach she called me frog so with that I am Fox I am a poet and I’ll begin

that I am Fox I am a poet and I’ll begin

that I am Fox I am a poet and I’ll begin this way even if tough times last tough

this way even if tough times last tough

this way even if tough times last tough people they last longer and as you go

people they last longer and as you go

people they last longer and as you go down that Mogul written path let your

down that Mogul written path let your

down that Mogul written path let your faith grow stronger if you fall off the

faith grow stronger if you fall off the

faith grow stronger if you fall off the horse get up and get back on a saddle

horse get up and get back on a saddle

horse get up and get back on a saddle victory highway is not smooth sailing

victory highway is not smooth sailing

victory highway is not smooth sailing for that road is a constant uphill

for that road is a constant uphill

for that road is a constant uphill battle even if positive thoughts don’t

battle even if positive thoughts don’t

battle even if positive thoughts don’t work negative thoughts nope

work negative thoughts nope

work negative thoughts nope you so keep your mind your body and your

you so keep your mind your body and your

you so keep your mind your body and your soul on high alert you will never know

soul on high alert you will never know

soul on high alert you will never know the height you’ll take yourself to and

the height you’ll take yourself to and

the height you’ll take yourself to and keep one hand on the wheel and one foot

keep one hand on the wheel and one foot

keep one hand on the wheel and one foot on the gas these struggles you will face

on the gas these struggles you will face

on the gas these struggles you will face they are real and you can tell them to

they are real and you can tell them to

they are real and you can tell them to kiss your right pinky toe let the path

kiss your right pinky toe let the path

kiss your right pinky toe let the path to victory not drive you insane because

to victory not drive you insane because

to victory not drive you insane because we know this road to success is not

we know this road to success is not

we know this road to success is not paved I am always reminded that my road

paved I am always reminded that my road

paved I am always reminded that my road to success has not been paved for

to success has not been paved for

to success has not been paved for example it’s June of 2002 and to my

example it’s June of 2002 and to my

example it’s June of 2002 and to my utter delight the University of South

utter delight the University of South

utter delight the University of South Carolina baseball team has made it back

Carolina baseball team has made it back

Carolina baseball team has made it back to the College World Series after a

to the College World Series after a

to the College World Series after a 17-year hiatus I’m a student coach on

17-year hiatus I’m a student coach on

17-year hiatus I’m a student coach on that team and I could picture myself

that team and I could picture myself

that team and I could picture myself standing in the dugout during the team

standing in the dugout during the team

standing in the dugout during the team introductions before our first game

introductions before our first game

introductions before our first game against Georgia Tech which was

against Georgia Tech which was

against Georgia Tech which was nationally televised on ESPN I looked

nationally televised on ESPN I looked

nationally televised on ESPN I looked down and see that my feet are donned by

down and see that my feet are donned by

down and see that my feet are donned by a brand new pair of turf shoes these

a brand new pair of turf shoes these

a brand new pair of turf shoes these could not have come at a better time

could not have come at a better time

could not have come at a better time because my old ones like these were worn

because my old ones like these were worn

because my old ones like these were worn thin and porous at the front from the

thin and porous at the front from the

thin and porous at the front from the tail heel pattern in which I walk

tail heel pattern in which I walk

tail heel pattern in which I walk waiting for my name to be called

waiting for my name to be called

waiting for my name to be called I tell myself Fox stand up straight

I tell myself Fox stand up straight

I tell myself Fox stand up straight Fox pick up your feet socks when you run

Fox pick up your feet socks when you run

Fox pick up your feet socks when you run please run heel toe and for goodness

please run heel toe and for goodness

please run heel toe and for goodness sakes Fox and at the hip finally arrived

sakes Fox and at the hip finally arrived

sakes Fox and at the hip finally arrived the climactic moment student coach

the climactic moment student coach

the climactic moment student coach number two

number two

number two Fox buyer and I took off

[Applause]

[Applause] that’s right on national TV I took three

that’s right on national TV I took three

that’s right on national TV I took three steps tripped fell forward caught myself

steps tripped fell forward caught myself

steps tripped fell forward caught myself with my hands and began doing a few

with my hands and began doing a few

with my hands and began doing a few push-ups here is us before game two I’m

push-ups here is us before game two I’m

push-ups here is us before game two I’m not in the picture because they’re all

not in the picture because they’re all

not in the picture because they’re all looking at me on the foul line doing

looking at me on the foul line doing

looking at me on the foul line doing push-ups from game one my hands have

push-ups from game one my hands have

push-ups from game one my hands have been there for me in June of 2002 as you

been there for me in June of 2002 as you

been there for me in June of 2002 as you just heard and in July of 1997 when I

just heard and in July of 1997 when I

just heard and in July of 1997 when I throw out the ceremonial first pitch to

throw out the ceremonial first pitch to

throw out the ceremonial first pitch to a New York Yankees game yes that day

a New York Yankees game yes that day

a New York Yankees game yes that day before the game on the field

before the game on the field

before the game on the field I tripped fell forward and caught myself

I tripped fell forward and caught myself

I tripped fell forward and caught myself in my hands I look at my hands I think

in my hands I look at my hands I think

in my hands I look at my hands I think of my parents I think of my therapists

of my parents I think of my therapists

of my parents I think of my therapists mom and dad Kathy Debbie Jose Teddy and

mom and dad Kathy Debbie Jose Teddy and

mom and dad Kathy Debbie Jose Teddy and mrs. Schindler you see they were

mrs. Schindler you see they were

mrs. Schindler you see they were geniuses they knew me a kid growing up

geniuses they knew me a kid growing up

geniuses they knew me a kid growing up with cerebral palsy I was going to fall

with cerebral palsy I was going to fall

with cerebral palsy I was going to fall every day of my life it was inevitable

every day of my life it was inevitable

every day of my life it was inevitable but 99.9% of my Falls were forward so in

but 99.9% of my Falls were forward so in

but 99.9% of my Falls were forward so in therapy they had me practice falling

therapy they had me practice falling

therapy they had me practice falling forward so I could get my hands out in

forward so I could get my hands out in

forward so I could get my hands out in front of my body as quickly as I could

front of my body as quickly as I could

front of my body as quickly as I could to catch myself and prevent myself from

to catch myself and prevent myself from

to catch myself and prevent myself from any further harm I look at my hands and

any further harm I look at my hands and

any further harm I look at my hands and I realized that my life and all of our

I realized that my life and all of our

I realized that my life and all of our lives are not about trying not to fall

lives are not about trying not to fall

lives are not about trying not to fall every day they’re about always trying to

every day they’re about always trying to

every day they’re about always trying to get back up according to the center of

get back up according to the center of

get back up according to the center of Disease Control prevention 58.2%

Disease Control prevention 58.2%

Disease Control prevention 58.2% of all of us with CP walk independently

of all of us with CP walk independently

of all of us with CP walk independently but I know in my heart all of us with CP

but I know in my heart all of us with CP

but I know in my heart all of us with CP or not we all fall every day there’s to

or not we all fall every day there’s to

or not we all fall every day there’s to say we all have setbacks

say we all have setbacks

say we all have setbacks the key is not staying down too long

the key is not staying down too long

the key is not staying down too long authors Susan Gammage of many books

authors Susan Gammage of many books

authors Susan Gammage of many books including violence and abuse writes that

including violence and abuse writes that

including violence and abuse writes that self-pity can paralyze a person into

self-pity can paralyze a person into

self-pity can paralyze a person into inaction and to be that’s the real

inaction and to be that’s the real

inaction and to be that’s the real failure not doing anything and call this

failure not doing anything and call this

failure not doing anything and call this Mark Hill writes that wallowing in

Mark Hill writes that wallowing in

Mark Hill writes that wallowing in self-pity is like wrestling with a shark

self-pity is like wrestling with a shark

self-pity is like wrestling with a shark wrestling with a shark no human being is

wrestling with a shark no human being is

wrestling with a shark no human being is ever going to win that battle so I

ever going to win that battle so I

ever going to win that battle so I propose today that we learn from sharks

propose today that we learn from sharks

propose today that we learn from sharks not to pity ourselves instead of

not to pity ourselves instead of

not to pity ourselves instead of wrestling with them and continuing to

wrestling with them and continuing to

wrestling with them and continuing to pity ourselves for example if you go on

pity ourselves for example if you go on

pity ourselves for example if you go on to amazon.com where it seems you can buy

to amazon.com where it seems you can buy

to amazon.com where it seems you can buy anything you can also buy shark teeth

anything you can also buy shark teeth

anything you can also buy shark teeth here’s a set IQ from my classes and on

here’s a set IQ from my classes and on

here’s a set IQ from my classes and on the first day of class I show my

the first day of class I show my

the first day of class I show my students a video of a great white just

students a video of a great white just

students a video of a great white just exploring not looking to eat anything

exploring not looking to eat anything

exploring not looking to eat anything take a nip of a camera in front of it

take a nip of a camera in front of it

take a nip of a camera in front of it just to see what it was the question

just to see what it was the question

just to see what it was the question then becomes why are so many shark teeth

then becomes why are so many shark teeth

then becomes why are so many shark teeth available the fact is you can go to

available the fact is you can go to

available the fact is you can go to amazon.com and buy them from $5.99 to

amazon.com and buy them from $5.99 to

amazon.com and buy them from $5.99 to $17.99

$17.99

$17.99 to everywhere in between in many shapes

to everywhere in between in many shapes

to everywhere in between in many shapes sizes and varieties well as many of us

sizes and varieties well as many of us

sizes and varieties well as many of us may know sharks shed and lose thousands

may know sharks shed and lose thousands

may know sharks shed and lose thousands of teeth in a lifetime but to the great

of teeth in a lifetime but to the great

of teeth in a lifetime but to the great white who bit the camera wallow in

white who bit the camera wallow in

white who bit the camera wallow in self-pity when it bit something it

self-pity when it bit something it

self-pity when it bit something it didn’t want and its teeth fell out

didn’t want and its teeth fell out

didn’t want and its teeth fell out no because it knows and we know shark’s

no because it knows and we know shark’s

no because it knows and we know shark’s teeth are typically replaced within 24

teeth are typically replaced within 24

teeth are typically replaced within 24 hours of losing them the shark in this

hours of losing them the shark in this

hours of losing them the shark in this situation is telling us as humans simply

situation is telling us as humans simply

situation is telling us as humans simply this when you fail it doesn’t make you a

this when you fail it doesn’t make you a

this when you fail it doesn’t make you a failure I’d like to end with this poem I

failure I’d like to end with this poem I

failure I’d like to end with this poem I wrote when you fail it doesn’t make you

wrote when you fail it doesn’t make you

wrote when you fail it doesn’t make you a failure so give it your best and what

a failure so give it your best and what

a failure so give it your best and what you want to be because it would be a

you want to be because it would be a

you want to be because it would be a total shame if you failed at what you

total shame if you failed at what you

total shame if you failed at what you didn’t want to be in the end you might

didn’t want to be in the end you might

didn’t want to be in the end you might not have it all but remember

not have it all but remember

not have it all but remember it’s not naive to try so prayer eyes

it’s not naive to try so prayer eyes

it’s not naive to try so prayer eyes picks your eyes and actualize and in the

picks your eyes and actualize and in the

picks your eyes and actualize and in the end fly high yes as it stands right now

end fly high yes as it stands right now

end fly high yes as it stands right now all you have is your current reality and

all you have is your current reality and

all you have is your current reality and every day in your head

every day in your head

every day in your head fear disguises as practicality Chaka

fear disguises as practicality Chaka

fear disguises as practicality Chaka County says play it safe says this year

County says play it safe says this year

County says play it safe says this year after year but if you would dare lift

after year but if you would dare lift

after year but if you would dare lift its mask all you would see is fear so

its mask all you would see is fear so

its mask all you would see is fear so lift the mask up stare right through

lift the mask up stare right through

lift the mask up stare right through fear and throw it to the past be the

fear and throw it to the past be the

fear and throw it to the past be the person you are destined to be turn

person you are destined to be turn

person you are destined to be turn around and what self pity kiss your

around and what self pity kiss your

around and what self pity kiss your right pinky toe thank you

right pinky toe thank you

right pinky toe thank you [Applause]

”

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