[Applause] when I arrived in Hall field prison I
when I arrived in Hall field prison I
when I arrived in Hall field prison I thought I’d finally gone to the place
thought I’d finally gone to the place
thought I’d finally gone to the place where my aimless life would end because
where my aimless life would end because
where my aimless life would end because from the outset I thought life in prison
from the outset I thought life in prison
from the outset I thought life in prison was similar to how it was portrayed in
was similar to how it was portrayed in
was similar to how it was portrayed in the movies where somewhere the prisoners
the movies where somewhere the prisoners
the movies where somewhere the prisoners got raped and killed two weeks later I
got raped and killed two weeks later I
got raped and killed two weeks later I went to the prison’s library and
went to the prison’s library and
went to the prison’s library and borrowed a book and that night while I
borrowed a book and that night while I
borrowed a book and that night while I was reading that book I suddenly
was reading that book I suddenly
was reading that book I suddenly realized I could identify my own life
realized I could identify my own life
realized I could identify my own life with a live story of the main character
with a live story of the main character
with a live story of the main character in the book later I started to reflect
in the book later I started to reflect
in the book later I started to reflect on my own life how I lived it without
on my own life how I lived it without
on my own life how I lived it without much fundamental direction
much fundamental direction
much fundamental direction the things I did to survive and the
the things I did to survive and the
the things I did to survive and the physical and emotional pain that I
physical and emotional pain that I
physical and emotional pain that I endured throughout my youthful days I
endured throughout my youthful days I
endured throughout my youthful days I also thought about my son who was 2
also thought about my son who was 2
also thought about my son who was 2 years old at the time and at that point
years old at the time and at that point
years old at the time and at that point I decided to document my life story
I decided to document my life story
I decided to document my life story hoping that it might get into his hands
hoping that it might get into his hands
hoping that it might get into his hands if the worst should occur and I got
if the worst should occur and I got
if the worst should occur and I got killed first he would at least get to
killed first he would at least get to
killed first he would at least get to know how his dad had lived his life and
know how his dad had lived his life and
know how his dad had lived his life and made me forgive me for not being there
made me forgive me for not being there
made me forgive me for not being there for him I also had hoped that unlike me
for him I also had hoped that unlike me
for him I also had hoped that unlike me he may choose a different path on his
he may choose a different path on his
he may choose a different path on his own journey through life before I got
own journey through life before I got
own journey through life before I got introduced to education I was angry I
introduced to education I was angry I
introduced to education I was angry I was angry with the world I was angry
was angry with the world I was angry
was angry with the world I was angry with the police for arresting me hours
with the police for arresting me hours
with the police for arresting me hours anger as my parents were not affording
anger as my parents were not affording
anger as my parents were not affording me a better life and I was angry with
me a better life and I was angry with
me a better life and I was angry with myself for being such a fool I realized
myself for being such a fool I realized
myself for being such a fool I realized that I’d been living in a very dark
that I’d been living in a very dark
that I’d been living in a very dark place for a long time my anger was only
place for a long time my anger was only
place for a long time my anger was only a form of self-defense and to shield
a form of self-defense and to shield
a form of self-defense and to shield myself I would often wear my Street face
myself I would often wear my Street face
myself I would often wear my Street face whenever I was around the other
whenever I was around the other
whenever I was around the other prisoners but once I found education
prisoners but once I found education
prisoners but once I found education everything changed and I wasn’t angry
everything changed and I wasn’t angry
everything changed and I wasn’t angry anymore
anymore
anymore I used to go to the library borrowed one
I used to go to the library borrowed one
I used to go to the library borrowed one book now I was boring
book now I was boring
book now I was boring five the maximum each prisoners were
five the maximum each prisoners were
five the maximum each prisoners were allowed to borrow for the week as time
allowed to borrow for the week as time
allowed to borrow for the week as time went by I realized that Her Majesty’s
went by I realized that Her Majesty’s
went by I realized that Her Majesty’s Prison was not a bad place for me in
Prison was not a bad place for me in
Prison was not a bad place for me in fact I must admit that going to prison
fact I must admit that going to prison
fact I must admit that going to prison was one of the best things that could
was one of the best things that could
was one of the best things that could ever have happened to me during the
ever have happened to me during the
ever have happened to me during the months and years that followed I
months and years that followed I
months and years that followed I continued to write the story of my life
continued to write the story of my life
continued to write the story of my life it had become my daily routine it was
it had become my daily routine it was
it had become my daily routine it was something that I would always look
something that I would always look
something that I would always look forward to do in fact it was my secret
forward to do in fact it was my secret
forward to do in fact it was my secret cleansing therapy writing about my
cleansing therapy writing about my
cleansing therapy writing about my previous life helped me to recognize who
previous life helped me to recognize who
previous life helped me to recognize who I was I was able to examine myself in
I was I was able to examine myself in
I was I was able to examine myself in ways that I never thought was possible
ways that I never thought was possible
ways that I never thought was possible and I must admit that I was very
and I must admit that I was very
and I must admit that I was very embarrassed with my findings
embarrassed with my findings
embarrassed with my findings I was also ashamed I was ashamed of some
I was also ashamed I was ashamed of some
I was also ashamed I was ashamed of some of the things I had done in the past to
of the things I had done in the past to
of the things I had done in the past to survive and I was even more ashamed of
survive and I was even more ashamed of
survive and I was even more ashamed of the crime that I committed of which I
the crime that I committed of which I
the crime that I committed of which I was doing the time for and when I
was doing the time for and when I
was doing the time for and when I thought about whom I could and wanted to
thought about whom I could and wanted to
thought about whom I could and wanted to be for my son I knew I had to change I
be for my son I knew I had to change I
be for my son I knew I had to change I knew I had to be clean because I was
knew I had to be clean because I was
knew I had to be clean because I was dirty my whole life was messed up from
dirty my whole life was messed up from
dirty my whole life was messed up from when I first started to steal and take
when I first started to steal and take
when I first started to steal and take drugs and I didn’t want my son to grow
drugs and I didn’t want my son to grow
drugs and I didn’t want my son to grow up thinking it was trendy and cool to
up thinking it was trendy and cool to
up thinking it was trendy and cool to take drugs steal and ultimately go to
take drugs steal and ultimately go to
take drugs steal and ultimately go to prison like his dad and the only way I
prison like his dad and the only way I
prison like his dad and the only way I could guide my boy in a different
could guide my boy in a different
could guide my boy in a different direction than the one I had taken was
direction than the one I had taken was
direction than the one I had taken was to change my life I committed my first
to change my life I committed my first
to change my life I committed my first crime between the tender ages of 8 and 9
crime between the tender ages of 8 and 9
crime between the tender ages of 8 and 9 I was home alone and hungry as I haven’t
I was home alone and hungry as I haven’t
I was home alone and hungry as I haven’t eaten since the previous afternoon
eaten since the previous afternoon
eaten since the previous afternoon without having a second thought I
without having a second thought I
without having a second thought I entered my neighbor’s house the heart
entered my neighbor’s house the heart
entered my neighbor’s house the heart was beating rapidly against the wall of
was beating rapidly against the wall of
was beating rapidly against the wall of my chest as I hurriedly searched the
my chest as I hurriedly searched the
my chest as I hurriedly searched the cupboards for food but I only found half
cupboards for food but I only found half
cupboards for food but I only found half of a loaf of bread I saw a black Bible
of a loaf of bread I saw a black Bible
of a loaf of bread I saw a black Bible on top of a table and like a magnet to
on top of a table and like a magnet to
on top of a table and like a magnet to steal the Bible gives me closer curious
steal the Bible gives me closer curious
steal the Bible gives me closer curious I opened the Bible and to my surprise a
I opened the Bible and to my surprise a
I opened the Bible and to my surprise a small stock of banknotes smiled at me
small stock of banknotes smiled at me
small stock of banknotes smiled at me from between the pages
from between the pages
from between the pages so I pocketed the money jumped out the
so I pocketed the money jumped out the
so I pocketed the money jumped out the window and I ran inside my house in July
window and I ran inside my house in July
window and I ran inside my house in July 1997 I got arrested for an attempted
1997 I got arrested for an attempted
1997 I got arrested for an attempted armed robbery and subsequently rewarded
armed robbery and subsequently rewarded
armed robbery and subsequently rewarded with an 8-year sentence it was the first
with an 8-year sentence it was the first
with an 8-year sentence it was the first and last time I have been to prison most
and last time I have been to prison most
and last time I have been to prison most importantly it was a crime that changed
importantly it was a crime that changed
importantly it was a crime that changed the whole context of my life today I’m a
the whole context of my life today I’m a
the whole context of my life today I’m a published author of the first part of a
published author of the first part of a
published author of the first part of a trilogy entitled Victor of circumstances
trilogy entitled Victor of circumstances
trilogy entitled Victor of circumstances I decided to share my life story with
I decided to share my life story with
I decided to share my life story with the world hoping that it might encourage
the world hoping that it might encourage
the world hoping that it might encourage others to examine themselves and change
others to examine themselves and change
others to examine themselves and change their lives for the better the girlís
their lives for the better the girlís
their lives for the better the girlís of where they are from or how messed up
of where they are from or how messed up
of where they are from or how messed up their lives have been as for my son he
their lives have been as for my son he
their lives have been as for my son he didn’t only turn out to be an incredible
didn’t only turn out to be an incredible
didn’t only turn out to be an incredible law-abiding young man but the only
law-abiding young man but the only
law-abiding young man but the only person that I know of in my whole family
person that I know of in my whole family
person that I know of in my whole family but to graduate from a comprehensive
but to graduate from a comprehensive
but to graduate from a comprehensive high school my friends I can proudly
high school my friends I can proudly
high school my friends I can proudly tell you that my life had changed for
tell you that my life had changed for
tell you that my life had changed for the better because I put in the hard
the better because I put in the hard
the better because I put in the hard work and I can smile every day because
work and I can smile every day because
work and I can smile every day because my son and my 13 year old daughter I
my son and my 13 year old daughter I
my son and my 13 year old daughter I like fresh water to my soul they are my
like fresh water to my soul they are my
like fresh water to my soul they are my role models
”
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