Press "Enter" to skip to content

When to Build, When to Burn | Tina Powell | TEDxHobokenWomen


we are all taught never to burn a bridge

we are all taught never to burn a bridge but what happens if you feel like it’s

but what happens if you feel like it’s

but what happens if you feel like it’s justified when you’re angry and upset

justified when you’re angry and upset

justified when you’re angry and upset for childhood memories you never had and

for childhood memories you never had and

for childhood memories you never had and you look at kids kids playing and

you look at kids kids playing and

you look at kids kids playing and laughing going out for ice cream and you

laughing going out for ice cream and you

laughing going out for ice cream and you think I never had that and what are you

think I never had that and what are you

think I never had that and what are you supposed to do when you feel like

supposed to do when you feel like

supposed to do when you feel like lashing out for being used as a pawn in

lashing out for being used as a pawn in

lashing out for being used as a pawn in some sick game of cat-and-mouse as a

some sick game of cat-and-mouse as a

some sick game of cat-and-mouse as a child no less it was 1971 I was five

child no less it was 1971 I was five

child no less it was 1971 I was five years old and heard my mother screaming

years old and heard my mother screaming

years old and heard my mother screaming downstairs in the living room I ran to

downstairs in the living room I ran to

downstairs in the living room I ran to find my father’s hands clenched tightly

find my father’s hands clenched tightly

find my father’s hands clenched tightly around her neck she could barely breathe

around her neck she could barely breathe

around her neck she could barely breathe let alone talk yet somehow she managed

let alone talk yet somehow she managed

let alone talk yet somehow she managed to yell the words Tina get upstairs I’m

to yell the words Tina get upstairs I’m

to yell the words Tina get upstairs I’m okay

okay

okay my father was drunk he was totally

my father was drunk he was totally

my father was drunk he was totally shit-faced and finding him nearly

shit-faced and finding him nearly

shit-faced and finding him nearly choking my mother to death scared all of

choking my mother to death scared all of

choking my mother to death scared all of the childhood right out of me that night

the childhood right out of me that night

the childhood right out of me that night my life was supposed to be okay our

my life was supposed to be okay our

my life was supposed to be okay our family lived in a tiny house in suburbia

family lived in a tiny house in suburbia

family lived in a tiny house in suburbia on a busy street in Tenafly New Jersey

on a busy street in Tenafly New Jersey

on a busy street in Tenafly New Jersey my father’s name was Anthony Tony

my father’s name was Anthony Tony

my father’s name was Anthony Tony they called him the gangers he worked as

they called him the gangers he worked as

they called him the gangers he worked as a maitre d in New York City and with his

a maitre d in New York City and with his

a maitre d in New York City and with his dashing good looks and Gina take alone

dashing good looks and Gina take alone

dashing good looks and Gina take alone he was a real showstopper he idolized

he was a real showstopper he idolized

he was a real showstopper he idolized Sinatra and now that I look back he

Sinatra and now that I look back he

Sinatra and now that I look back he could have been part of the Rat Pack too

could have been part of the Rat Pack too

could have been part of the Rat Pack too and he would brag about smuggling me

and he would brag about smuggling me

and he would brag about smuggling me into a bar as an infant too

into a bar as an infant too

into a bar as an infant too mr. Sinatra himself it sounds like a

mr. Sinatra himself it sounds like a

mr. Sinatra himself it sounds like a movie but this is my story Tony loved

movie but this is my story Tony loved

movie but this is my story Tony loved the nightlife and he certainly loved his

the nightlife and he certainly loved his

the nightlife and he certainly loved his friends he would do anything anything in

friends he would do anything anything in

friends he would do anything anything in the world for them even if that meant

the world for them even if that meant

the world for them even if that meant being late to the hospital while my

being late to the hospital while my

being late to the hospital while my mother was in labor with me after the

mother was in labor with me after the

mother was in labor with me after the divorce my father continued to be late

divorce my father continued to be late

divorce my father continued to be late for everything

for everything

for everything he missed the rent the groceries the

he missed the rent the groceries the

he missed the rent the groceries the heat the alimony and the child support

heat the alimony and the child support

heat the alimony and the child support and when he remembered to pick us up for

and when he remembered to pick us up for

and when he remembered to pick us up for visitation my brother and I were

visitation my brother and I were

visitation my brother and I were chauffeured into the back of a borrowed

chauffeured into the back of a borrowed

chauffeured into the back of a borrowed car usually a Jaguar and instead of

car usually a Jaguar and instead of

car usually a Jaguar and instead of going out for ice cream

going out for ice cream

going out for ice cream we would drive across the George

we would drive across the George

we would drive across the George Washington Bridge and make our way to

Washington Bridge and make our way to

Washington Bridge and make our way to night clubs and gambling dens usually

night clubs and gambling dens usually

night clubs and gambling dens usually hidden behind some secret door as a

hidden behind some secret door as a

hidden behind some secret door as a little girl I learned to master the fine

little girl I learned to master the fine

little girl I learned to master the fine art of kissing pinkie rings and the

art of kissing pinkie rings and the

art of kissing pinkie rings and the faces of dangerous dirty old men I will

faces of dangerous dirty old men I will

faces of dangerous dirty old men I will never forget being pulled and dragged

never forget being pulled and dragged

never forget being pulled and dragged across the streets of New York City

across the streets of New York City

across the streets of New York City playing a game of hide-and-go-seek

playing a game of hide-and-go-seek

playing a game of hide-and-go-seek with the lone shark my father owed money

with the lone shark my father owed money

with the lone shark my father owed money to this isn’t supposed to be how little

to this isn’t supposed to be how little

to this isn’t supposed to be how little girls grow up at the age of 69 my father

girls grow up at the age of 69 my father

girls grow up at the age of 69 my father had no choice but to stop running from

had no choice but to stop running from

had no choice but to stop running from the demons that hunted him down

the demons that hunted him down

the demons that hunted him down Tony suffered a massive stroke and lay

Tony suffered a massive stroke and lay

Tony suffered a massive stroke and lay in ICU in a self induced coma unable to

in ICU in a self induced coma unable to

in ICU in a self induced coma unable to walk talk or place a bet my brother and

walk talk or place a bet my brother and

walk talk or place a bet my brother and I rushed to be at his bedside and were

I rushed to be at his bedside and were

I rushed to be at his bedside and were shocked to discover that all bets were

shocked to discover that all bets were

shocked to discover that all bets were still on our father was married yet a

still on our father was married yet a

still on our father was married yet a fourth time to a woman we never met not

fourth time to a woman we never met not

fourth time to a woman we never met not for love but for coal

for love but for coal

for love but for coal hard cash and a green card we all have a

hard cash and a green card we all have a

hard cash and a green card we all have a choice to burn or build the bridge no

choice to burn or build the bridge no

choice to burn or build the bridge no matter what our circumstances or roads

matter what our circumstances or roads

matter what our circumstances or roads we’ve traveled in the past even in the

we’ve traveled in the past even in the

we’ve traveled in the past even in the backseat of a Jaguar there are more

backseat of a Jaguar there are more

backseat of a Jaguar there are more times than not that I wanted to

times than not that I wanted to

times than not that I wanted to retaliate and make war against my father

retaliate and make war against my father

retaliate and make war against my father but I decided to play my hand

but I decided to play my hand

but I decided to play my hand differently after my father’s death I

differently after my father’s death I

differently after my father’s death I went on to earn a master’s degree and a

went on to earn a master’s degree and a

went on to earn a master’s degree and a securities license

securities license

securities license I started badass budgeting and learning

I started badass budgeting and learning

I started badass budgeting and learning everything I could about money and

everything I could about money and

everything I could about money and investing and planning for the future I

investing and planning for the future I

investing and planning for the future I started my own company working in the

started my own company working in the

started my own company working in the financial services industry I guess you

financial services industry I guess you

financial services industry I guess you could say dad taught me a little

could say dad taught me a little

could say dad taught me a little something about money in the end so I

something about money in the end so I

something about money in the end so I ask this of you because you too have

ask this of you because you too have

ask this of you because you too have been burned you may not have driven

been burned you may not have driven

been burned you may not have driven around the streets of New York like a

around the streets of New York like a

around the streets of New York like a Bronx Tale but you have your share of

Bronx Tale but you have your share of

Bronx Tale but you have your share of Tony’s in your life will you join me in

Tony’s in your life will you join me in

Tony’s in your life will you join me in building new bridges rather than burning

building new bridges rather than burning

building new bridges rather than burning them because letting it all go is the

them because letting it all go is the

them because letting it all go is the best route to drive

”

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *