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Challenge the Status Quo | Michael Tukeva | TEDxStroudsburgLibrary


sorry folks what makes a good story

sorry folks what makes a good story every story has a couple components

every story has a couple components

every story has a couple components there’s a hero and villain the villain

there’s a hero and villain the villain

there’s a hero and villain the villain could be a person it could be a

could be a person it could be a

could be a person it could be a situation it could be a system it could

situation it could be a system it could

situation it could be a system it could be that person’s own self getting in the

be that person’s own self getting in the

be that person’s own self getting in the way but there’s a conflict then the

way but there’s a conflict then the

way but there’s a conflict then the conflict has to come to a climax and the

conflict has to come to a climax and the

conflict has to come to a climax and the climax has to have a resolution now if

climax has to have a resolution now if

climax has to have a resolution now if you like rom-coms we could identify that

you like rom-coms we could identify that

you like rom-coms we could identify that pretty easily there’s a person that is

pretty easily there’s a person that is

pretty easily there’s a person that is just desperate for love they’re always

just desperate for love they’re always

just desperate for love they’re always getting in their own way they see the

getting in their own way they see the

getting in their own way they see the person of their dreams they want to

person of their dreams they want to

person of their dreams they want to engage this person but there’s always

engage this person but there’s always

engage this person but there’s always circumstances that prevent that they’re

circumstances that prevent that they’re

circumstances that prevent that they’re across the room from each other they

across the room from each other they

across the room from each other they don’t connect well when they do connect

don’t connect well when they do connect

don’t connect well when they do connect there’s this tension there’s this I want

there’s this tension there’s this I want

there’s this tension there’s this I want to say this I love you to you but I

to say this I love you to you but I

to say this I love you to you but I don’t know how to say it so you don’t

don’t know how to say it so you don’t

don’t know how to say it so you don’t say it and what happens oh there’s a job

say it and what happens oh there’s a job

say it and what happens oh there’s a job opportunity across the country and so

opportunity across the country and so

opportunity across the country and so the one person says well I’m gonna take

the one person says well I’m gonna take

the one person says well I’m gonna take the job because you’ve never said I love

the job because you’ve never said I love

the job because you’ve never said I love you

you

you and then what what’s going to happen

and then what what’s going to happen

and then what what’s going to happen well they part ways there’s a moment of

well they part ways there’s a moment of

well they part ways there’s a moment of clarity though and that person says all

clarity though and that person says all

clarity though and that person says all right I’m gonna go and find this person

right I’m gonna go and find this person

right I’m gonna go and find this person so they rush on the subway they take a

so they rush on the subway they take a

so they rush on the subway they take a taxicab they jump on the motorcycle and

taxicab they jump on the motorcycle and

taxicab they jump on the motorcycle and they get to the apartment only to find

they get to the apartment only to find

they get to the apartment only to find out that the person that they love left

out that the person that they love left

out that the person that they love left two minutes prior to go to the airport

two minutes prior to go to the airport

two minutes prior to go to the airport so what do they do they jump on that

so what do they do they jump on that

so what do they do they jump on that motorcycle the subway the taxi again and

motorcycle the subway the taxi again and

motorcycle the subway the taxi again and they now go to the airport and they run

they now go to the airport and they run

they now go to the airport and they run all the way there

all the way there

all the way there bypassing security and they get onto the

bypassing security and they get onto the

bypassing security and they get onto the plane without a ticket

plane without a ticket

plane without a ticket and they say I love you the person says

and they say I love you the person says

and they say I love you the person says I love you too and now we can live

I love you too and now we can live

I love you too and now we can live happily ever after

happily ever after

happily ever after now that is every rom-com so I just save

now that is every rom-com so I just save

now that is every rom-com so I just save you a ton of time in the future by not

you a ton of time in the future by not

you a ton of time in the future by not needing to go to these movies that’s

needing to go to these movies that’s

needing to go to these movies that’s every one of them my mom asked me yeah

every one of them my mom asked me yeah

every one of them my mom asked me yeah what do you think you’re really good at

what do you think you’re really good at

what do you think you’re really good at and I said mom I think I’m really good

and I said mom I think I’m really good

and I said mom I think I’m really good at a lot of things she said no you’re

at a lot of things she said no you’re

at a lot of things she said no you’re not

not

not she’s like what you’ve been really good

she’s like what you’ve been really good

she’s like what you’ve been really good at though through life is telling

at though through life is telling

at though through life is telling stories I said okay well I’m going to do

stories I said okay well I’m going to do

stories I said okay well I’m going to do this TED talk thing I’m gonna tell

this TED talk thing I’m gonna tell

this TED talk thing I’m gonna tell stories so people asked me how did you

stories so people asked me how did you

stories so people asked me how did you in the business of social injustice I

in the business of social injustice I

in the business of social injustice I said well there was a boy in fourth

said well there was a boy in fourth

said well there was a boy in fourth grade who as he walked down the hallway

grade who as he walked down the hallway

grade who as he walked down the hallway to the cafeteria he noticed something

to the cafeteria he noticed something

to the cafeteria he noticed something was wrong

was wrong

was wrong someone smelled a little off upon

someone smelled a little off upon

someone smelled a little off upon opening the doors he found out that yeah

opening the doors he found out that yeah

opening the doors he found out that yeah he was right

he was right

he was right the pizza was burnt he gets up to the

the pizza was burnt he gets up to the

the pizza was burnt he gets up to the the front of the line he gets his tray

the front of the line he gets his tray

the front of the line he gets his tray he sees that burnt slice of pizza

he sees that burnt slice of pizza

he sees that burnt slice of pizza accompanied by a heaping amount of

accompanied by a heaping amount of

accompanied by a heaping amount of prunes and he said oh no and he led the

prunes and he said oh no and he led the

prunes and he said oh no and he led the fourth and the fifth grade classrooms

fourth and the fifth grade classrooms

fourth and the fifth grade classrooms out of the cafeteria and sat in the

out of the cafeteria and sat in the

out of the cafeteria and sat in the hallway for the next hour and a half

hallway for the next hour and a half

hallway for the next hour and a half demanding better food gets called into

demanding better food gets called into

demanding better food gets called into the principal’s office the principal

the principal’s office the principal

the principal’s office the principal says hey get back in there and I said no

says hey get back in there and I said no

says hey get back in there and I said no sir

sir

sir I’m gonna call your mother I said yeah

I’m gonna call your mother I said yeah

I’m gonna call your mother I said yeah I’ve heard that before

I’ve heard that before

I’ve heard that before and sure enough he called my mom and my

and sure enough he called my mom and my

and sure enough he called my mom and my mom came in and we got waffles and ice

mom came in and we got waffles and ice

mom came in and we got waffles and ice cream because it was finally

cream because it was finally

cream because it was finally acknowledged this was not right we

acknowledged this was not right we

acknowledged this was not right we should not eat this burnt pizza so for

should not eat this burnt pizza so for

should not eat this burnt pizza so for the next two weeks as I sat or stood on

the next two weeks as I sat or stood on

the next two weeks as I sat or stood on the wall of detention during recess I

the wall of detention during recess I

the wall of detention during recess I contemplated and realized that if you

contemplated and realized that if you

contemplated and realized that if you want to challenge the status quo there’s

want to challenge the status quo there’s

want to challenge the status quo there’s always a cost it could be personal it

always a cost it could be personal it

always a cost it could be personal it could be financial could be relational

could be financial could be relational

could be financial could be relational but there’s always a cost well as a

but there’s always a cost well as a

but there’s always a cost well as a fourth grader I thought it was worth it

fourth grader I thought it was worth it

fourth grader I thought it was worth it i’ma tell another story about a lady

i’ma tell another story about a lady

i’ma tell another story about a lady named Melissa Melissa lived in New York

named Melissa Melissa lived in New York

named Melissa Melissa lived in New York at 3 a.m. one time she heard boom boom

at 3 a.m. one time she heard boom boom

at 3 a.m. one time she heard boom boom boom on her door she opens the door and

boom on her door she opens the door and

boom on her door she opens the door and finds her very abusive controlling

finds her very abusive controlling

finds her very abusive controlling boyfriend and father of her child now

boyfriend and father of her child now

boyfriend and father of her child now I’m not going to go into the details of

I’m not going to go into the details of

I’m not going to go into the details of what that night entailed but you could

what that night entailed but you could

what that night entailed but you could imagine it wasn’t kind she eventually

imagine it wasn’t kind she eventually

imagine it wasn’t kind she eventually moved to the Poconos seeking a better

moved to the Poconos seeking a better

moved to the Poconos seeking a better life but she was challenged by a way

life but she was challenged by a way

life but she was challenged by a way different world from new york city

different world from new york city

different world from new york city transportation job opportunities

transportation job opportunities

transportation job opportunities connectivity she was living with her

connectivity she was living with her

connectivity she was living with her parents when we met her and I

parents when we met her and I

parents when we met her and I interviewed her and I said do you want

interviewed her and I said do you want

interviewed her and I said do you want to be a part of a program

to be a part of a program

to be a part of a program that will help you gain self-sufficiency

that will help you gain self-sufficiency

that will help you gain self-sufficiency she said yes I said what are your goals

she said yes I said what are your goals

she said yes I said what are your goals she looked at me and said I want a

she looked at me and said I want a

she looked at me and said I want a degree I want a full-time job I want my

degree I want a full-time job I want my

degree I want a full-time job I want my own place I said anything else now as

own place I said anything else now as

own place I said anything else now as her eyes filled with tears they swelled

her eyes filled with tears they swelled

her eyes filled with tears they swelled and she uttered the simple words I want

and she uttered the simple words I want

and she uttered the simple words I want to be a role model to my children you

to be a role model to my children you

to be a role model to my children you fast forward she had to conquer many

fast forward she had to conquer many

fast forward she had to conquer many barriers in her life here in the Poconos

barriers in her life here in the Poconos

barriers in her life here in the Poconos but I can tell you that she graduated

but I can tell you that she graduated

but I can tell you that she graduated from ESU she has a full-time job she

from ESU she has a full-time job she

from ESU she has a full-time job she volunteers in our community and she sees

volunteers in our community and she sees

volunteers in our community and she sees self-worth she doesn’t deserve to be

self-worth she doesn’t deserve to be

self-worth she doesn’t deserve to be abused she deserves to be treated the

abused she deserves to be treated the

abused she deserves to be treated the right way in her and her children had

right way in her and her children had

right way in her and her children had the assignment to write about a role

the assignment to write about a role

the assignment to write about a role model you could imagine who they chose

model you could imagine who they chose

model you could imagine who they chose now she challenged the status quo

now she challenged the status quo

now she challenged the status quo because she said I’m gonna disrupt the

because she said I’m gonna disrupt the

because she said I’m gonna disrupt the routine I’m not going to be a statistic

routine I’m not going to be a statistic

routine I’m not going to be a statistic I’m not going to allow somebody to

I’m not going to allow somebody to

I’m not going to allow somebody to control me I’m going to write my own

control me I’m going to write my own

control me I’m going to write my own story now this person Melissa can be

story now this person Melissa can be

story now this person Melissa can be here in this room it could be your

here in this room it could be your

here in this room it could be your mother your sister neighbor but it’s far

mother your sister neighbor but it’s far

mother your sister neighbor but it’s far too often that situations like this

too often that situations like this

too often that situations like this happen and the status quo is maintained

happen and the status quo is maintained

happen and the status quo is maintained now we never actually defined what that

now we never actually defined what that

now we never actually defined what that is that is the norm that is what we see

is that is the norm that is what we see

is that is the norm that is what we see happening all around us that is when we

happening all around us that is when we

happening all around us that is when we look at something from afar when we say

look at something from afar when we say

look at something from afar when we say here’s the situation

here’s the situation

here’s the situation five years ago a group came into my

five years ago a group came into my

five years ago a group came into my office once and they said hey do you

office once and they said hey do you

office once and they said hey do you think children of all abilities

think children of all abilities

think children of all abilities especially but especially children with

especially but especially children with

especially but especially children with disabilities should have a place to play

disabilities should have a place to play

disabilities should have a place to play and I said yeah it’s a great sales

and I said yeah it’s a great sales

and I said yeah it’s a great sales tactic if you get somebody to say yes to

tactic if you get somebody to say yes to

tactic if you get somebody to say yes to your question it’s a positive experience

your question it’s a positive experience

your question it’s a positive experience after that so they asked do you think

after that so they asked do you think

after that so they asked do you think philosophically these children should

philosophically these children should

philosophically these children should have a place to play and I said yes and

have a place to play and I said yes and

have a place to play and I said yes and they said do you want to help and I said

they said do you want to help and I said

they said do you want to help and I said do why and they said we’re gonna build a

do why and they said we’re gonna build a

do why and they said we’re gonna build a playground I said

playground I said

playground I said it’s awesome and they said we have

it’s awesome and they said we have

it’s awesome and they said we have $25,000 I said even better usually

$25,000 I said even better usually

$25,000 I said even better usually people just come with ideas but they

people just come with ideas but they

people just come with ideas but they don’t have any money and then they said

don’t have any money and then they said

don’t have any money and then they said it’s gonna cost about 500,000 I said oh

it’s gonna cost about 500,000 I said oh

it’s gonna cost about 500,000 I said oh lordy

and they and I started backpedaling now

and they and I started backpedaling now I’m not really sure I really know how to

I’m not really sure I really know how to

I’m not really sure I really know how to do this I’m not very good at anything

do this I’m not very good at anything

do this I’m not very good at anything other than telling stories so and they

other than telling stories so and they

other than telling stories so and they said well let us tell you story with

said well let us tell you story with

said well let us tell you story with three photos they pulled out a photo and

three photos they pulled out a photo and

three photos they pulled out a photo and the first photo was three children

the first photo was three children

the first photo was three children getting out of the minivan and one was

getting out of the minivan and one was

getting out of the minivan and one was in a wheelchair the second photo was the

in a wheelchair the second photo was the

in a wheelchair the second photo was the three children getting to the edge of a

three children getting to the edge of a

three children getting to the edge of a playground and the third photo was the

playground and the third photo was the

playground and the third photo was the two able-bodied children running into

two able-bodied children running into

two able-bodied children running into the playground with the other child left

the playground with the other child left

the playground with the other child left behind and they said are you in or out

behind and they said are you in or out

behind and they said are you in or out and I said I am in because what they did

and I said I am in because what they did

and I said I am in because what they did was another example of challenging the

was another example of challenging the

was another example of challenging the status quo they said instead of

status quo they said instead of

status quo they said instead of critiquing create my challenge to you

critiquing create my challenge to you

critiquing create my challenge to you today is that instead of critiquing

today is that instead of critiquing

today is that instead of critiquing every idea that comes across you a

every idea that comes across you a

every idea that comes across you a create a solution to go with it now I

create a solution to go with it now I

create a solution to go with it now I don’t always do this very well myself I

don’t always do this very well myself I

don’t always do this very well myself I sit on the board of a food bank and we

sit on the board of a food bank and we

sit on the board of a food bank and we heard a story of somebody coming through

heard a story of somebody coming through

heard a story of somebody coming through the food pantry line and they scoffed at

the food pantry line and they scoffed at

the food pantry line and they scoffed at the idea of getting boxed macaroni and

the idea of getting boxed macaroni and

the idea of getting boxed macaroni and cheese now the attitude that I had that

cheese now the attitude that I had that

cheese now the attitude that I had that day was unbelievable how dare you scoff

day was unbelievable how dare you scoff

day was unbelievable how dare you scoff at the idea of getting food when we are

at the idea of getting food when we are

at the idea of getting food when we are giving it to you for free and the

giving it to you for free and the

giving it to you for free and the volunteer that was relaying the story to

volunteer that was relaying the story to

volunteer that was relaying the story to me they said yeah that was my attitude

me they said yeah that was my attitude

me they said yeah that was my attitude as well so I questioned them about this

as well so I questioned them about this

as well so I questioned them about this and I pulled them aside and I said why

and I pulled them aside and I said why

and I pulled them aside and I said why the attitude why are you not grateful

the attitude why are you not grateful

the attitude why are you not grateful and they said every week you pass out

and they said every week you pass out

and they said every week you pass out box macaroni and cheese and it does me

box macaroni and cheese and it does me

box macaroni and cheese and it does me no good why you’re getting food does it

no good why you’re getting food does it

no good why you’re getting food does it really matter what it is you’re hungry

really matter what it is you’re hungry

really matter what it is you’re hungry she said you don’t need box macaroni and

she said you don’t need box macaroni and

she said you don’t need box macaroni and cheese too often do you

cheese too often do you

cheese too often do you it requires milk and butter if you don’t

it requires milk and butter if you don’t

it requires milk and butter if you don’t know I haven’t had box macaroni and

know I haven’t had box macaroni and

know I haven’t had box macaroni and cheese since I was in college I remember

cheese since I was in college I remember

cheese since I was in college I remember that was the requirement she said I

that was the requirement she said I

that was the requirement she said I tried to serve my children right you

tried to serve my children right you

tried to serve my children right you just using water but

just using water but

just using water but wouldn’t eat it so I’m sorry I’m not

wouldn’t eat it so I’m sorry I’m not

wouldn’t eat it so I’m sorry I’m not grateful that I have this useless

grateful that I have this useless

grateful that I have this useless product in my shelf it prompted the food

product in my shelf it prompted the food

product in my shelf it prompted the food bank to take on the initiative of

bank to take on the initiative of

bank to take on the initiative of purchasing and supplying food countries

purchasing and supplying food countries

purchasing and supplying food countries with milk but it reminded me that

with milk but it reminded me that

with milk but it reminded me that challenging the status quo also is

challenging the status quo also is

challenging the status quo also is having a fresh mind in a new perspective

having a fresh mind in a new perspective

having a fresh mind in a new perspective I didn’t have that that day I was

I didn’t have that that day I was

I didn’t have that that day I was looking at it from my middle-class

looking at it from my middle-class

looking at it from my middle-class privileged eyes of saying just go to the

privileged eyes of saying just go to the

privileged eyes of saying just go to the store and buy milk without ever really

store and buy milk without ever really

store and buy milk without ever really identifying what the issue was now

identifying what the issue was now

identifying what the issue was now instead of just looking at the past and

instead of just looking at the past and

instead of just looking at the past and encouraging you to make sense of the

encouraging you to make sense of the

encouraging you to make sense of the stories that I tell I’m gonna challenge

stories that I tell I’m gonna challenge

stories that I tell I’m gonna challenge you to challenge the status quo yourself

you to challenge the status quo yourself

you to challenge the status quo yourself in your own lives three simple things

in your own lives three simple things

in your own lives three simple things that you can do to challenge challenge

that you can do to challenge challenge

that you can do to challenge challenge the status quo

the status quo

the status quo the first is get curious acknowledge

the first is get curious acknowledge

the first is get curious acknowledge that something’s wrong when I was in

that something’s wrong when I was in

that something’s wrong when I was in fourth grade I acknowledged something

fourth grade I acknowledged something

fourth grade I acknowledged something was wrong and I said I have to engage

was wrong and I said I have to engage

was wrong and I said I have to engage this so the second point of that is

this so the second point of that is

this so the second point of that is empower empower yourself and empower

empower empower yourself and empower

empower empower yourself and empower others we have seen this not happen

others we have seen this not happen

others we have seen this not happen enough where we question and we critique

enough where we question and we critique

enough where we question and we critique all the reasons why we can’t do

all the reasons why we can’t do

all the reasons why we can’t do something how could I do this how could

something how could I do this how could

something how could I do this how could I make a difference how can I help my

I make a difference how can I help my

I make a difference how can I help my community but you could change that

community but you could change that

community but you could change that entire sentence by changing one small

entire sentence by changing one small

entire sentence by changing one small word and it really is just one letter

word and it really is just one letter

word and it really is just one letter instead of how can I do this wow I can

instead of how can I do this wow I can

instead of how can I do this wow I can do this when you interact with children

do this when you interact with children

do this when you interact with children I have a four year old and a 20 month

I have a four year old and a 20 month

I have a four year old and a 20 month old instead of asking them how can you

old instead of asking them how can you

old instead of asking them how can you do that wow you can do that you can do

do that wow you can do that you can do

do that wow you can do that you can do it you can be that change empower people

it you can be that change empower people

it you can be that change empower people and power yourself and the last one is

and power yourself and the last one is

and power yourself and the last one is simply do something do something my

simply do something do something my

simply do something do something my grandfather once said to me there’s two

grandfather once said to me there’s two

grandfather once said to me there’s two kinds of people there are heroes and

kinds of people there are heroes and

kinds of people there are heroes and there are cowards

there are cowards

there are cowards really that’s hoon he said listen up I’m

really that’s hoon he said listen up I’m

really that’s hoon he said listen up I’m the storyteller cowards do nothing

the storyteller cowards do nothing

the storyteller cowards do nothing heroes do something we have all been

heroes do something we have all been

heroes do something we have all been witness just some pretty horrible things

witness just some pretty horrible things

witness just some pretty horrible things in our world even in the past couple

in our world even in the past couple

in our world even in the past couple months we’ve seen multiple hurricanes

months we’ve seen multiple hurricanes

months we’ve seen multiple hurricanes that have devastated our nation

that have devastated our nation

that have devastated our nation shootings the attack in Charlottesville

shootings the attack in Charlottesville

shootings the attack in Charlottesville and what we’ve done which is really

and what we’ve done which is really

and what we’ve done which is really dangerous is we pulled out our phone we

dangerous is we pulled out our phone we

dangerous is we pulled out our phone we pulled up Facebook we scrolled and we

pulled up Facebook we scrolled and we

pulled up Facebook we scrolled and we acknowledge that is wrong and then we

acknowledge that is wrong and then we

acknowledge that is wrong and then we continue to scroll without ever doing

continue to scroll without ever doing

continue to scroll without ever doing the empowerment or doing something about

the empowerment or doing something about

the empowerment or doing something about it now most of these events have have

it now most of these events have have

it now most of these events have have prompted people to think where do they

prompted people to think where do they

prompted people to think where do they stand on a certain topic in my for

stand on a certain topic in my for

stand on a certain topic in my for racial equality or do I care more about

racial equality or do I care more about

racial equality or do I care more about Veteran Affairs do I believe more in

Veteran Affairs do I believe more in

Veteran Affairs do I believe more in this issue over here or something on my

this issue over here or something on my

this issue over here or something on my side a candle is simply a silent protest

side a candle is simply a silent protest

side a candle is simply a silent protest against midnight it shines a light and

against midnight it shines a light and

against midnight it shines a light and when things are really dark it could

when things are really dark it could

when things are really dark it could shine really bright and it could

shine really bright and it could

shine really bright and it could illuminate not just the issue of your

illuminate not just the issue of your

illuminate not just the issue of your choice but those of another person love

choice but those of another person love

choice but those of another person love thy neighbor who would require us all to

thy neighbor who would require us all to

thy neighbor who would require us all to care equally about our neighbors issue

care equally about our neighbors issue

care equally about our neighbors issue is the one that that we have so

is the one that that we have so

is the one that that we have so challenging the status quo sometimes

challenging the status quo sometimes

challenging the status quo sometimes means thinking about it from another’s

means thinking about it from another’s

means thinking about it from another’s perspective having the empathy and

perspective having the empathy and

perspective having the empathy and caring I encourage you to take that with

caring I encourage you to take that with

caring I encourage you to take that with you to challenge others sin to challenge

you to challenge others sin to challenge

you to challenge others sin to challenge yourselves thank you

yourselves thank you

yourselves thank you you

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