[Applause]
the word duel
most of us the first thing that
we will think about the experience of
death but today I want to ask you to
accompanying you to review an idea of by
what is not only death
the only experience in life that you
can lead to experiencing a duel or
Emotional pain is what we feel
when something that we are
used is interrupted changes or
he ends up understanding what he did then
the marry have a son graduate a
moving work change divorce or
the death of a loved one
would be life experiences that we
can lead to experiencing a duel
exciting and they realize some of
the experiences that I mentioned the
we have classified as positive and it is
why emotional pain is so
difficult to treat because usually
it’s about contradictory feelings
if for example I lose a loved one
after a long illness
I can on the one hand feel relief that
he is no longer suffering but at the same
time though yesterday not having with me
thus ended a sentimental relationship
which it is not positive for me I can
also feel relief in my heart
but at the same time have uncertainty
know if you will find love again
as a doctor I can tell you that never
during my studies they taught me that
emotions were important in the
Health
today with more and more evidence
scientific
we know that even the neurological pathway
that transmits the physical pain is the
same that transmits the emotional pain
a study was made of the department of
neurosciences of jucilei where they placed
patients in an MRI
with an experiment that they called
to know about them they placed patients
with some goals that simulated a game of
caught between three players
as the time progressed each
once they threw the ball less to the patient
that was inside the resonance this one
when interpreting it as rejection they showed
the images of its resonance a
activation of brain areas
that are related to pain
physical
in another study also within a
magnetic resonance asked as
volunteers to people who would
ended a romantic relationship
in the previous six months that they
they would not have wanted to finish
they made two sequences in resonance
in one they saw the patients see
they saw a picture of his ex-partner with
phrases that would remind them how they
activation in that sequence
of the intense neurological pathway in a
second sequence people saw
a picture of a person who was
meaningful to them in a way
positive and they found that in that
sequence there was an activation of the
avro logic airplane
how important is it then that when
a person has emotional pain is
feels accompanied by a person who is
positive for her and that you can
give it away I heard it but it’s not easy
accompany a person when he is
with emotional pain
generally we feel very stressed
we worry when we are with
someone who is crying
we do not know what to do we see the
eyes we do not turn other side embraced him
I offer you a kleenex
We do not know what to do and this is because
We generally learn how to overcome
our losses until we have
ourselves that exceeded
and besides this is because there are some
ideas that we have learned badly
about how to handle our pain
emotional
the first of these ideas is that it is not
valid feeling bad surely has
past that when we have a problem and
we just want to tell someone what
first thing that tells us is do not you feel
wrong and then we have the problems
the one that we had originally and the
problem of having trusted and open
our heart to a person who
The only thing he did was our invalidity
pain and give us the order that not
we should feel bad
another one of the wrong ideas is that a
institution will fix the pain that
you feel
we think that if we start a new
relationship we buy a new pet or
we change to a new job
the pain will be eliminated but it is necessary
know that as long as we do not solve what
that is pending of that first
relationship
surely with what we want
replace the will not work and
probably that
relationship also fails another of the
ideas that are even said
popular is that there is no evil that lasts
a hundred years but surely we know
people who have passed five ten or
fifteen years since they had a
loss and they have not been able to recover
and this is because time itself
does not have a healing power is what you
do during that time what
it will truly take you to heal
heart
We experience the emotional pain
all surely we have all had
some loss of our life
does not respect age sex religion level
studies
but the most complicated thing is that it seems
that life is a competition of
prove that we are the strongest that
although we have had a very loss
hard to get over
we continue standing and we continue that
is not the true strength the
true strength is to be consistent
between what you think what you feel and
how do you act
have emotional pain is not a defect
on the contrary have emotional pain
is to be empathetic sensitive accept the
human vulnerability is to have him put
name and expression to that which is
feeling emotional pain is having
a wound that nobody can see but that
is the hardest is to win now
then how can we do to heal
that emotional pain
You recognize that something is happening quote
something is happening
if you lost halo and you have all the
world’s right to talk how many
Sometimes you need
to cry everything you need to
relieve your heart without caring
the response to the reaction of
people who are around you if
they tell you that it is not possible that still
are crying because of what happened
so long
you have a right and you need
brno to be able to heal your heart
2 do not look for culprits
looking guilty or being angry is a
normal part of grief or pain
emotional but the sooner
can you understand or accept the idea that
things like that made life a
God the universe in what you believe not
you will one day reach the door
and to ask what you think if today
take away your husband
what do you think if today you take away your
work or that today you will receive the
diagnosis of the disease
the friend that confronts and is your
responsibility
[Music]
face the challenge that she is facing
3 take care of yourself you do not need that
I told you that when you have pain
emotional you can not eat well can not
sleep well you can not concentrate on that
you already know you have already lived
but if it serves you and remind me
that is a valuable person that you
you are in this world occupying a place
that nobody but you can occupy what
that you have a mission that you have
to fulfill and that’s why it’s still a
valuable person
it does not matter what happened, you do not
Are you a victim
you have to find
win that heart and a good way
to neglect you try to eat treats
sleep tries to accompany you with people
what has
4 live without earrings if you feel like
see someone talking to someone
tell him you love him or forgive him
so dayz I go because today is the
the only day that you have insurance neither you nor
I know if tomorrow we will have the
opportunity to say that for you
Today is important and who does not do it
who is left with emotional issues
that later cause a pain and that
then he has to solve and for
last asks for help is not weak is to ask
help
On the contrary, I always tell
my patients that is brave
sit in a doctor’s office talk to a
unknown about what you know that
it hurts you but you want to heal the
Thanatologists We are those professionals
that we are kind
maybe two in accompanying others in their
loss processes by means of a
active listening
This is listen without judgment but
analyze without interrupting without criticism the
active listening definitely that is the
best gift that you can
someone with normal pain
to finish putting together a puzzle
of a full and happy life
an indispensable and fundamental part
would know that emotional pain is
real that our emotions are
important so important that they influence
in our light and that is not a defect
and that you can always heal the pain of
a goal
when he has the gift of listening
active thank you very much
[Applause]
”
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