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Finding my own way | Ulrike Reinhard | TEDxFlandersWomen


some people say I’m privileged they say

some people say I’m privileged they say I’m always you know in the right spot at

I’m always you know in the right spot at

I’m always you know in the right spot at the right time it’s this coincidence I

the right time it’s this coincidence I

the right time it’s this coincidence I don’t think so you know as I got older I

don’t think so you know as I got older I

don’t think so you know as I got older I really don’t find my life journey so far

really don’t find my life journey so far

really don’t find my life journey so far as a blend of coincidences I understood

as a blend of coincidences I understood

as a blend of coincidences I understood more and more over the years what was

more and more over the years what was

more and more over the years what was guiding me and you know why things

guiding me and you know why things

guiding me and you know why things happen the way they did and the internet

happen the way they did and the internet

happen the way they did and the internet really contributed its fair share to it

really contributed its fair share to it

really contributed its fair share to it understanding the Internet really helped

understanding the Internet really helped

understanding the Internet really helped me to understand myself much much better

me to understand myself much much better

me to understand myself much much better but first things first

but first things first

but first things first I’m a native German I’m born into a

I’m a native German I’m born into a

I’m a native German I’m born into a middle-class family I was the first one

middle-class family I was the first one

middle-class family I was the first one in our family who cut to university I

in our family who cut to university I

in our family who cut to university I studied economics and I was also somehow

studied economics and I was also somehow

studied economics and I was also somehow the black sheep of the family because I

the black sheep of the family because I

the black sheep of the family because I didn’t walk down the safe and secured

didn’t walk down the safe and secured

didn’t walk down the safe and secured way my parents always wished I would so

way my parents always wished I would so

way my parents always wished I would so I played pretty well basketball I was

I played pretty well basketball I was

I played pretty well basketball I was part of the German national team but I

part of the German national team but I

part of the German national team but I stopped it when it became too commercial

stopped it when it became too commercial

stopped it when it became too commercial I didn’t feel like being used after my

I didn’t feel like being used after my

I didn’t feel like being used after my studies I got a wealth I got offered a

studies I got a wealth I got offered a

studies I got a wealth I got offered a well-paid job at a German TV channel but

well-paid job at a German TV channel but

well-paid job at a German TV channel but I reject it because you know I didn’t

I reject it because you know I didn’t

I reject it because you know I didn’t want to commit myself for something I

want to commit myself for something I

want to commit myself for something I wasn’t convinced of and frankly speaking

wasn’t convinced of and frankly speaking

wasn’t convinced of and frankly speaking I was never ever convinced to work for

I was never ever convinced to work for

I was never ever convinced to work for anyone so I always did my own thing and

anyone so I always did my own thing and

anyone so I always did my own thing and it was always about connecting people

it was always about connecting people

it was always about connecting people and it was always about building bridges

and it was always about building bridges

and it was always about building bridges so I never walked down a steady straight

so I never walked down a steady straight

so I never walked down a steady straight line but I feel that I always had an

line but I feel that I always had an

line but I feel that I always had an unflappable sense of direction

after my studies I took one year off I

after my studies I took one year off I bought a one-way ticket to New York to

bought a one-way ticket to New York to

bought a one-way ticket to New York to visit my aunt and to explore the u.s. I

visit my aunt and to explore the u.s. I

visit my aunt and to explore the u.s. I somehow got stuck in the northern Bay

somehow got stuck in the northern Bay

somehow got stuck in the northern Bay Area in Sausalito to be more precise

Area in Sausalito to be more precise

Area in Sausalito to be more precise it’s just when you cross the Golden Gate

it’s just when you cross the Golden Gate

it’s just when you cross the Golden Gate Bridge the next stop it was there when I

Bridge the next stop it was there when I

Bridge the next stop it was there when I met an Austrian and he answered my

met an Austrian and he answered my

met an Austrian and he answered my question is this Pete private with he

question is this Pete private with he

question is this Pete private with he said it’s all yours so I took him at his

said it’s all yours so I took him at his

said it’s all yours so I took him at his words and one year later we got married

words and one year later we got married

words and one year later we got married it was him actually who introduced me to

it was him actually who introduced me to

it was him actually who introduced me to the world of networks he introduced me

the world of networks he introduced me

the world of networks he introduced me to the well which was really the very

to the well which was really the very

to the well which was really the very first online community the well was

first online community the well was

first online community the well was launched in 1985 in 1987 I got my first

launched in 1985 in 1987 I got my first

launched in 1985 in 1987 I got my first email account there and this was you

email account there and this was you

email account there and this was you know a whole 7 years before the internet

know a whole 7 years before the internet

know a whole 7 years before the internet got pictures the well actually they had

got pictures the well actually they had

got pictures the well actually they had the office just one street below where

the office just one street below where

the office just one street below where we are living and every time you know

we are living and every time you know

we are living and every time you know when we got this sweet sweet smell of

when we got this sweet sweet smell of

when we got this sweet sweet smell of grass up where we were I know we were on

grass up where we were I know we were on

grass up where we were I know we were on so I never I was never ever interested

so I never I was never ever interested

so I never I was never ever interested in all this technical stuff of the

in all this technical stuff of the

in all this technical stuff of the network part what I really wanted to

network part what I really wanted to

network part what I really wanted to understand was what makes this Internet

understand was what makes this Internet

understand was what makes this Internet so much different from what we had

so much different from what we had

so much different from what we had before and I was really lucky to be

before and I was really lucky to be

before and I was really lucky to be there at the well at the well because

there at the well at the well because

there at the well at the well because they were really a bunch of people who

they were really a bunch of people who

they were really a bunch of people who where digital natives in a much more

where digital natives in a much more

where digital natives in a much more radical sense than the date of birth

radical sense than the date of birth

radical sense than the date of birth birth would imply so in conversations

birth would imply so in conversations

birth would imply so in conversations with them it was really really easy for

with them it was really really easy for

with them it was really really easy for me to get lost and you know to forget

me to get lost and you know to forget

me to get lost and you know to forget about set agendas and any fixed kind of

about set agendas and any fixed kind of

about set agendas and any fixed kind of outcomes it was very easy just to follow

outcomes it was very easy just to follow

outcomes it was very easy just to follow the dynamics of these open conversations

the dynamics of these open conversations

the dynamics of these open conversations and this was the time when I really fell

and this was the time when I really fell

and this was the time when I really fell in love

in love

in love with open processes you know I was open

with open processes you know I was open

with open processes you know I was open I was kind of curious and I always had

I was kind of curious and I always had

I was kind of curious and I always had my set of values where every action very

my set of values where every action very

my set of values where every action very every project I was working on was based

every project I was working on was based

every project I was working on was based upon so my projects they brought me to a

upon so my projects they brought me to a

upon so my projects they brought me to a hundred and twenty countries on this

hundred and twenty countries on this

hundred and twenty countries on this planet I worked with governments I

planet I worked with governments I

planet I worked with governments I worked with big institutions I worked in

worked with big institutions I worked in

worked with big institutions I worked in war zones and so-called safe ground I

war zones and so-called safe ground I

war zones and so-called safe ground I worked with top managers I worked with

worked with top managers I worked with

worked with top managers I worked with head of states but also with very very

head of states but also with very very

head of states but also with very very ordinary people to illustrate all this I

ordinary people to illustrate all this I

ordinary people to illustrate all this I tell you

tell you

tell you little story and the story is about the

little story and the story is about the

little story and the story is about the NATO summit 2012 in Chicago

NATO summit 2012 in Chicago

NATO summit 2012 in Chicago Stephanie Barb’s

Stephanie Barb’s

Stephanie Barb’s German woman she was by then head of

German woman she was by then head of

German woman she was by then head of public diplomacy at NATO

public diplomacy at NATO

public diplomacy at NATO she asked me in preparation of the

she asked me in preparation of the

she asked me in preparation of the summit if I would help her to connect

summit if I would help her to connect

summit if I would help her to connect this closed very closed organization

this closed very closed organization

this closed very closed organization NATO with online activists in the Middle

NATO with online activists in the Middle

NATO with online activists in the Middle East and Afghanistan and I said wow this

East and Afghanistan and I said wow this

East and Afghanistan and I said wow this is a bold move I got a couple of

is a bold move I got a couple of

is a bold move I got a couple of sleepless nights because I’m not really

sleepless nights because I’m not really

sleepless nights because I’m not really a friend of NATO but finally I agreed

a friend of NATO but finally I agreed

a friend of NATO but finally I agreed and you know I took this job

and you know I took this job

and you know I took this job so there I was in between these two

so there I was in between these two

so there I was in between these two worlds on the one side there was NATO

worlds on the one side there was NATO

worlds on the one side there was NATO with 14 levels of hierarchies from the

with 14 levels of hierarchies from the

with 14 levels of hierarchies from the humblest employee up to the secretary

humblest employee up to the secretary

humblest employee up to the secretary general Rasmussen these days everything

general Rasmussen these days everything

general Rasmussen these days everything was really mapped out on the other side

was really mapped out on the other side

was really mapped out on the other side when my people you know these online

when my people you know these online

when my people you know these online activists in the Middle East and

activists in the Middle East and

activists in the Middle East and Afghanistan who had access to

Afghanistan who had access to

Afghanistan who had access to communities when NATO had no standing it

communities when NATO had no standing it

communities when NATO had no standing it wasn’t really easy to convince them to

wasn’t really easy to convince them to

wasn’t really easy to convince them to support Stephanie in their efforts but

support Stephanie in their efforts but

support Stephanie in their efforts but Stephanie had made some really

Stephanie had made some really

Stephanie had made some really remarkable statements in an interview we

remarkable statements in an interview we

remarkable statements in an interview we did beforehand so where she laid out how

did beforehand so where she laid out how

did beforehand so where she laid out how she was planning to connect these two

she was planning to connect these two

she was planning to connect these two very very different world

very very different world

very very different world this would challenge NATO in its

this would challenge NATO in its

this would challenge NATO in its organization and she was ready to take

organization and she was ready to take

organization and she was ready to take this challenge and she really got things

this challenge and she really got things

this challenge and she really got things going so within these 14 hierarchies she

going so within these 14 hierarchies she

going so within these 14 hierarchies she set up a matrix organization of 30

set up a matrix organization of 30

set up a matrix organization of 30 people from various departments within

people from various departments within

people from various departments within NATO these 30 people they were all

NATO these 30 people they were all

NATO these 30 people they were all really excited and curious you know on

really excited and curious you know on

really excited and curious you know on our mission to connect these two worlds

our mission to connect these two worlds

our mission to connect these two worlds four and a half months before the summit

four and a half months before the summit

four and a half months before the summit we launched the platform we NATO we

we launched the platform we NATO we

we launched the platform we NATO we started out with a live stream between

started out with a live stream between

started out with a live stream between Stephanie and Joey Ito joey ito is I

Stephanie and Joey Ito joey ito is I

Stephanie and Joey Ito joey ito is I would say truly one of the guys was

would say truly one of the guys was

would say truly one of the guys was always at the forefront of the internet

always at the forefront of the internet

always at the forefront of the internet movement he’s a close friend of mine and

movement he’s a close friend of mine and

movement he’s a close friend of mine and he’s currently head of the MIT Media Lab

he’s currently head of the MIT Media Lab

he’s currently head of the MIT Media Lab so these two they had a live stream and

so these two they had a live stream and

so these two they had a live stream and they were we’re discussing a book this

they were we’re discussing a book this

they were we’re discussing a book this was the day when the NATO machinery

was the day when the NATO machinery

was the day when the NATO machinery started rolling the classic PR

started rolling the classic PR

started rolling the classic PR department kicked in the NATO

department kicked in the NATO

department kicked in the NATO ambassadors kicked in every part every

ambassadors kicked in every part every

ambassadors kicked in every part every department involved kicked in and they

department involved kicked in and they

department involved kicked in and they simply over rolled with their hierarchy

simply over rolled with their hierarchy

simply over rolled with their hierarchy and with everything you know they were

and with everything you know they were

and with everything you know they were so well trained in they simply over

so well trained in they simply over

so well trained in they simply over rolled the matrix within a day or two

rolled the matrix within a day or two

rolled the matrix within a day or two this entire we NATO sink crashed and it

this entire we NATO sink crashed and it

this entire we NATO sink crashed and it crashed because of reason we were

crashed because of reason we were

crashed because of reason we were discussing before at NATO usually only

discussing before at NATO usually only

discussing before at NATO usually only two people were entitled to give public

two people were entitled to give public

two people were entitled to give public statements so we knew if we didn’t

statements so we knew if we didn’t

statements so we knew if we didn’t succeed that our thirty people within

succeed that our thirty people within

succeed that our thirty people within the net within the metrics weren’t

the net within the metrics weren’t

the net within the metrics weren’t allowed to give comments to you know

allowed to give comments to you know

allowed to give comments to you know make their own remarks in real-time to

make their own remarks in real-time to

make their own remarks in real-time to this online community it wouldn’t work

this online community it wouldn’t work

this online community it wouldn’t work and this is exactly what happened so

and this is exactly what happened so

and this is exactly what happened so actually this we NATO it went on until

actually this we NATO it went on until

actually this we NATO it went on until the summit in Chicago but I left the top

the summit in Chicago but I left the top

the summit in Chicago but I left the top earlier

earlier

earlier Steffie lost her job after the summit

Steffie lost her job after the summit

Steffie lost her job after the summit and this whole thing went on in the very

and this whole thing went on in the very

and this whole thing went on in the very traditional polished Nate away but

traditional polished Nate away but

traditional polished Nate away but looking back actually for me this way

looking back actually for me this way

looking back actually for me this way NATO wasn’t a failure it really

NATO wasn’t a failure it really

NATO wasn’t a failure it really straightened out things in my head for

straightened out things in my head for

straightened out things in my head for the project for a new project

the project for a new project

the project for a new project I was already worth working on and this

I was already worth working on and this

I was already worth working on and this was a project which is in rural India I

was a project which is in rural India I

was a project which is in rural India I call it John buck hassle John Barr is a

call it John buck hassle John Barr is a

call it John buck hassle John Barr is a small small village in the heart of

small small village in the heart of

small small village in the heart of India like 1,100 people living there in

India like 1,100 people living there in

India like 1,100 people living there in this village you know the parents kill

this village you know the parents kill

this village you know the parents kill their girls because they can’t pay that

their girls because they can’t pay that

their girls because they can’t pay that are we women they don’t have any rights

are we women they don’t have any rights

are we women they don’t have any rights the tribals are tremendously suppressed

the tribals are tremendously suppressed

the tribals are tremendously suppressed by caste and the average family owns

by caste and the average family owns

by caste and the average family owns less than one euro a day in this village

less than one euro a day in this village

less than one euro a day in this village I have built a skatepark this is almost

I have built a skatepark this is almost

I have built a skatepark this is almost surreal why a skate park why

surreal why a skate park why

surreal why a skate park why skateboarding you might ask

skateboarding you might ask

skateboarding you might ask skateboarding or skateboarding culture

skateboarding or skateboarding culture

skateboarding or skateboarding culture is all about counterculture it’s against

is all about counterculture it’s against

is all about counterculture it’s against mainstream it’s all about disobedience

mainstream it’s all about disobedience

mainstream it’s all about disobedience it’s all about resilience in finding

it’s all about resilience in finding

it’s all about resilience in finding your own way everything what we don’t

your own way everything what we don’t

your own way everything what we don’t have in this village so my simple

have in this village so my simple

have in this village so my simple assumption was what this skatepark set

assumption was what this skatepark set

assumption was what this skatepark set up as an open process disrupt this

up as an open process disrupt this

up as an open process disrupt this village enough to drive change two and a

village enough to drive change two and a

village enough to drive change two and a half years later I can say yes it can

half years later I can say yes it can

half years later I can say yes it can this skatepark has built bridges over

this skatepark has built bridges over

this skatepark has built bridges over deep deep chasms it really has banished

deep deep chasms it really has banished

deep deep chasms it really has banished it has broken down cars barriers

it has broken down cars barriers

it has broken down cars barriers we are almost at you know gender

we are almost at you know gender

we are almost at you know gender equality at least when we look at the

equality at least when we look at the

equality at least when we look at the skatepark and it has really brought up

skatepark and it has really brought up

skatepark and it has really brought up activities and programs one could never

activities and programs one could never

activities and programs one could never ever thought of from the beginning today

ever thought of from the beginning today

ever thought of from the beginning today I hear parents say that their kids have

I hear parents say that their kids have

I hear parents say that their kids have for the very first time in their lives

for the very first time in their lives

for the very first time in their lives toys that the language has really become

toys that the language has really become

toys that the language has really become more precise has become more defined the

more precise has become more defined the

more precise has become more defined the number of fights has went down and this

number of fights has went down and this

number of fights has went down and this was really astonishing for me to see

was really astonishing for me to see

was really astonishing for me to see over the last couple of weeks because we

over the last couple of weeks because we

over the last couple of weeks because we are going to some rough times that the

are going to some rough times that the

are going to some rough times that the tribals and the other stand together

tribals and the other stand together

tribals and the other stand together when me or the skatepark really become

when me or the skatepark really become

when me or the skatepark really become under attack so I think this is proof of

under attack so I think this is proof of

under attack so I think this is proof of concept what have I done well we have

concept what have I done well we have

concept what have I done well we have defined or I’ve defined a couple of

defined or I’ve defined a couple of

defined or I’ve defined a couple of golden rules one rule is girls first

golden rules one rule is girls first

golden rules one rule is girls first this is a very simple thing whenever a

this is a very simple thing whenever a

this is a very simple thing whenever a girl goes to the skate park and says

girl goes to the skate park and says

girl goes to the skate park and says girls first she would get a skateboard

girls first she would get a skateboard

girls first she would get a skateboard no discussion the second rule is no

no discussion the second rule is no

no discussion the second rule is no school no skateboarding this really

school no skateboarding this really

school no skateboarding this really swept the kids into the school since we

swept the kids into the school since we

swept the kids into the school since we are there the government school got

are there the government school got

are there the government school got three new teachers and above all my job

three new teachers and above all my job

three new teachers and above all my job and everything and everyone who is

and everything and everyone who is

and everything and everyone who is working with me our highest priority our

working with me our highest priority our

working with me our highest priority our biggest premise is really that we walk

biggest premise is really that we walk

biggest premise is really that we walk our talk that we do what we say and that

our talk that we do what we say and that

our talk that we do what we say and that we really treat everyone egle equal and

we really treat everyone egle equal and

we really treat everyone egle equal and within this frame set our job is nothing

within this frame set our job is nothing

within this frame set our job is nothing but to observe to observe what is

but to observe to observe what is

but to observe to observe what is happening and whenever one kid or one

happening and whenever one kid or one

happening and whenever one kid or one villager is starting to move

villager is starting to move

villager is starting to move we again bring in our network and design

we again bring in our network and design

we again bring in our network and design together with this kit or with this

together with this kit or with this

together with this kit or with this family or with this village

family or with this village

family or with this village a very individual learning path so we do

a very individual learning path so we do

a very individual learning path so we do not work with predefined programs I

not work with predefined programs I

not work with predefined programs I actually believe that current government

actually believe that current government

actually believe that current government aid is failing because they work a lot

aid is failing because they work a lot

aid is failing because they work a lot with these programs which are defined

with these programs which are defined

with these programs which are defined for the villagers and not with them so I

for the villagers and not with them so I

for the villagers and not with them so I personally I have to find my drop in

personally I have to find my drop in

personally I have to find my drop in this village that it that I really do

this village that it that I really do

this village that it that I really do become obsolete one day

become obsolete one day

become obsolete one day so whenever the villagers are ready to

so whenever the villagers are ready to

so whenever the villagers are ready to move for themselves by themselves this

move for themselves by themselves this

move for themselves by themselves this is the day when I leave hopefully off to

is the day when I leave hopefully off to

is the day when I leave hopefully off to the next open process wherever or

the next open process wherever or

the next open process wherever or whatever it might be

whatever it might be

whatever it might be thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]

”

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