I was born December 21st 1996 I was born to a blond-haired blue-eyed mother from
to a blond-haired blue-eyed mother from
to a blond-haired blue-eyed mother from Long Island New York and a dark-skinned
Long Island New York and a dark-skinned
Long Island New York and a dark-skinned father who had emigrated from India 15
father who had emigrated from India 15
father who had emigrated from India 15 years earlier I was born Molony Natalie
years earlier I was born Molony Natalie
years earlier I was born Molony Natalie Molony coming from sanskrit origins
Molony coming from sanskrit origins
Molony coming from sanskrit origins meaning nurture and Natalie the French
meaning nurture and Natalie the French
meaning nurture and Natalie the French spelling meaning Christmas Day I grew up
spelling meaning Christmas Day I grew up
spelling meaning Christmas Day I grew up dancing on our fireplace mantel to the
dancing on our fireplace mantel to the
dancing on our fireplace mantel to the Annie soundtrack and Bollywood music in
Annie soundtrack and Bollywood music in
Annie soundtrack and Bollywood music in equal parts I was born and what my
equal parts I was born and what my
equal parts I was born and what my father called a lily-white town in this
father called a lily-white town in this
father called a lily-white town in this town I was white enough to be accepted
town I was white enough to be accepted
town I was white enough to be accepted by the white students but brown enough
by the white students but brown enough
by the white students but brown enough to not be considered beautiful here I
to not be considered beautiful here I
to not be considered beautiful here I learned to hate my hair because it was
learned to hate my hair because it was
learned to hate my hair because it was not blond and straight like the other
not blond and straight like the other
not blond and straight like the other girls but love my complexion because I
girls but love my complexion because I
girls but love my complexion because I was told it made me exotic it was here I
was told it made me exotic it was here I
was told it made me exotic it was here I was told I wasn’t really Indian because
was told I wasn’t really Indian because
was told I wasn’t really Indian because I hope because of how I acted but my
I hope because of how I acted but my
I hope because of how I acted but my brother was told to go back to his
brother was told to go back to his
brother was told to go back to his country when walking home from school
country when walking home from school
country when walking home from school one day it was in this town that dinners
one day it was in this town that dinners
one day it was in this town that dinners alternated between chicken curry and
alternated between chicken curry and
alternated between chicken curry and meatloaf I was born into a family where
meatloaf I was born into a family where
meatloaf I was born into a family where I called my mother’s mother grandma and
I called my mother’s mother grandma and
I called my mother’s mother grandma and my father his mother Debbie G which is
my father his mother Debbie G which is
my father his mother Debbie G which is the hindi turn for parental grandmother
the hindi turn for parental grandmother
the hindi turn for parental grandmother when I wasn’t baptized as a baby
when I wasn’t baptized as a baby
when I wasn’t baptized as a baby grandma cried hysterically and every
grandma cried hysterically and every
grandma cried hysterically and every Christmas hence I was given a Bible
Christmas hence I was given a Bible
Christmas hence I was given a Bible because she was so afraid that my soul
because she was so afraid that my soul
because she was so afraid that my soul would end up in purgatory meanwhile with
would end up in purgatory meanwhile with
would end up in purgatory meanwhile with Adichie I would she would light incense
Adichie I would she would light incense
Adichie I would she would light incense and I was sitting next to her as she
and I was sitting next to her as she
and I was sitting next to her as she prayed to Shiva Vishnu and countless
prayed to Shiva Vishnu and countless
prayed to Shiva Vishnu and countless other hindi gods she used to put a black
other hindi gods she used to put a black
other hindi gods she used to put a black dot on my face so that the evil I
dot on my face so that the evil I
dot on my face so that the evil I wouldn’t see into my soul because then I
wouldn’t see into my soul because then I
wouldn’t see into my soul because then I was less than perfect
at the time I didn’t understand how one
at the time I didn’t understand how one of my grandmother’s could believe in one
of my grandmother’s could believe in one
of my grandmother’s could believe in one God well the other believed in many but
God well the other believed in many but
God well the other believed in many but I was pretty sure my soul was in mortal
I was pretty sure my soul was in mortal
I was pretty sure my soul was in mortal peril at 14 I moved to Manhattan and
peril at 14 I moved to Manhattan and
peril at 14 I moved to Manhattan and enrolled in a private school on my first
enrolled in a private school on my first
enrolled in a private school on my first day a girl sat down next to me looked me
day a girl sat down next to me looked me
day a girl sat down next to me looked me dead in the eye and asked so what are
dead in the eye and asked so what are
dead in the eye and asked so what are you it was at this school was about 85%
you it was at this school was about 85%
you it was at this school was about 85% white students and 15% students of color
white students and 15% students of color
white students and 15% students of color the majority of the white students paid
the majority of the white students paid
the majority of the white students paid full tuition and the majority of the
full tuition and the majority of the
full tuition and the majority of the students of color were on scholarship
students of color were on scholarship
students of color were on scholarship here I was too Brown for the white
here I was too Brown for the white
here I was too Brown for the white students because I didn’t share their
students because I didn’t share their
students because I didn’t share their primarily Jewish heritage or their
primarily Jewish heritage or their
primarily Jewish heritage or their upbringing as one of the Manhattan’s
upbringing as one of the Manhattan’s
upbringing as one of the Manhattan’s elite
elite
elite but I was also too white for the
but I was also too white for the
but I was also too white for the students of color because I did come
students of color because I did come
students of color because I did come from an affluent family and I hadn’t
from an affluent family and I hadn’t
from an affluent family and I hadn’t shared a lot of the same trials and
shared a lot of the same trials and
shared a lot of the same trials and rampant discrimination that they had it
rampant discrimination that they had it
rampant discrimination that they had it was also in high school that I was first
was also in high school that I was first
was also in high school that I was first made aware of the immense racism in
made aware of the immense racism in
made aware of the immense racism in America this happened through the
America this happened through the
America this happened through the murders of Trayvon Martin Eric garner
murders of Trayvon Martin Eric garner
murders of Trayvon Martin Eric garner Sandra bland and countless other men and
Sandra bland and countless other men and
Sandra bland and countless other men and women of color who were wrongfully
women of color who were wrongfully
women of color who were wrongfully killed at the hands of those who were
killed at the hands of those who were
killed at the hands of those who were supposed to protect them during this
supposed to protect them during this
supposed to protect them during this time many of my classmates both those
time many of my classmates both those
time many of my classmates both those who identified as white and as a student
who identified as white and as a student
who identified as white and as a student of color participated in the protests
of color participated in the protests
of color participated in the protests that were occurring in Manhattan and the
that were occurring in Manhattan and the
that were occurring in Manhattan and the other four boroughs of New York City
other four boroughs of New York City
other four boroughs of New York City however I stayed back I wasn’t sure
however I stayed back I wasn’t sure
however I stayed back I wasn’t sure where I stood on this issue was I an
where I stood on this issue was I an
where I stood on this issue was I an ally or was I part of the oppressed
ally or was I part of the oppressed
ally or was I part of the oppressed group was I white because of my mother
group was I white because of my mother
group was I white because of my mother and my upbringing or was I as person of
and my upbringing or was I as person of
and my upbringing or was I as person of color because of my father and the
color because of my father and the
color because of my father and the discrimination I had encountered as an
discrimination I had encountered as an
discrimination I had encountered as an ethnically ambiguous brown woman in the
ethnically ambiguous brown woman in the
ethnically ambiguous brown woman in the 21st century it wasn’t until college
21st century it wasn’t until college
21st century it wasn’t until college that I realized I am both I am white and
that I realized I am both I am white and
that I realized I am both I am white and privileged when I
privileged when I
privileged when I urban exploring with friends and I’m
urban exploring with friends and I’m
urban exploring with friends and I’m caught by the cops but the only
caught by the cops but the only
caught by the cops but the only repercussion is that we are told to go
repercussion is that we are told to go
repercussion is that we are told to go home but I am brown and oppressed
home but I am brown and oppressed
home but I am brown and oppressed when I am flagged going through airport
when I am flagged going through airport
when I am flagged going through airport security
security
security we’re often than I am NOT but still have
we’re often than I am NOT but still have
we’re often than I am NOT but still have to plaster a smile on my face to let the
to plaster a smile on my face to let the
to plaster a smile on my face to let the officers know I am of no threat to them
officers know I am of no threat to them
officers know I am of no threat to them and no I promise those text books are
and no I promise those text books are
and no I promise those text books are not bombs that actually even happened
not bombs that actually even happened
not bombs that actually even happened which is sad and for the longest time I
which is sad and for the longest time I
which is sad and for the longest time I thought I was the only one who dealt
thought I was the only one who dealt
thought I was the only one who dealt with this issue because for the longest
with this issue because for the longest
with this issue because for the longest time I was the only one I knew who did
time I was the only one I knew who did
time I was the only one I knew who did this past summer I served as part of my
this past summer I served as part of my
this past summer I served as part of my colleges orientation team before
colleges orientation team before
colleges orientation team before orientation begins the team participates
orientation begins the team participates
orientation begins the team participates in many different activities that have
in many different activities that have
in many different activities that have us discuss and confront our own
us discuss and confront our own
us discuss and confront our own identifiers it was during one of his
identifiers it was during one of his
identifiers it was during one of his activities that I talked to two other
activities that I talked to two other
activities that I talked to two other young women who had one parent who was
young women who had one parent who was
young women who had one parent who was white and one of color they too had
white and one of color they too had
white and one of color they too had faced a lot of the same things I had
faced a lot of the same things I had
faced a lot of the same things I had growing up they often felt torn between
growing up they often felt torn between
growing up they often felt torn between the two cultures encapsulated in their
the two cultures encapsulated in their
the two cultures encapsulated in their families and confused by the varying
families and confused by the varying
families and confused by the varying beliefs that were that in their
beliefs that were that in their
beliefs that were that in their households this realization shocked and
households this realization shocked and
households this realization shocked and saddened me why had we all felt so alone
saddened me why had we all felt so alone
saddened me why had we all felt so alone before why had it taken nearly two
before why had it taken nearly two
before why had it taken nearly two decades for us to find other people who
decades for us to find other people who
decades for us to find other people who shared our experience why had no one
shared our experience why had no one
shared our experience why had no one talked about this when we were growing
talked about this when we were growing
talked about this when we were growing up it was then that I realized that race
up it was then that I realized that race
up it was then that I realized that race is one of the few binaries we have left
is one of the few binaries we have left
is one of the few binaries we have left in terms of identifiers and many of our
in terms of identifiers and many of our
in terms of identifiers and many of our other identifiers we allow there to be a
other identifiers we allow there to be a
other identifiers we allow there to be a spectrum you can be gay or straight or
spectrum you can be gay or straight or
spectrum you can be gay or straight or somewhere in between you can you no
somewhere in between you can you no
somewhere in between you can you no longer have to proscribed
longer have to proscribed
longer have to proscribed simply being male or female and I by no
simply being male or female and I by no
simply being male or female and I by no means to say that being in the middle of
means to say that being in the middle of
means to say that being in the middle of these spectrums as easy at all
these spectrums as easy at all
these spectrums as easy at all they’re often some of the hardest
they’re often some of the hardest
they’re often some of the hardest identifiers to carry but there is solace
identifiers to carry but there is solace
identifiers to carry but there is solace to be found when society at large
to be found when society at large
to be found when society at large acknowledged
acknowledged
acknowledged is part of your identity and it make
is part of your identity and it make
is part of your identity and it make sense we see race this way throughout
sense we see race this way throughout
sense we see race this way throughout the majority of human history we’ve
the majority of human history we’ve
the majority of human history we’ve pitted one racial group against another
pitted one racial group against another
pitted one racial group against another which has made people in each group have
which has made people in each group have
which has made people in each group have to identify more strongly with those
to identify more strongly with those
to identify more strongly with those around them however we live in an age
around them however we live in an age
around them however we live in an age where more and more people who were
where more and more people who were
where more and more people who were mixed race are being born so how does it
mixed race are being born so how does it
mixed race are being born so how does it make sense to only have two categories
make sense to only have two categories
make sense to only have two categories in which someone can belong something
in which someone can belong something
in which someone can belong something someone of Miss race is all too familiar
someone of Miss race is all too familiar
someone of Miss race is all too familiar with is the assumption throughout my
with is the assumption throughout my
with is the assumption throughout my life I have been assumed to be Hawaiian
life I have been assumed to be Hawaiian
life I have been assumed to be Hawaiian Polynesian latina and Italian
Polynesian latina and Italian
Polynesian latina and Italian among various other racial and ethnic
among various other racial and ethnic
among various other racial and ethnic identifiers this is problem more than
identifiers this is problem more than
identifiers this is problem more than just being problematic because someone
just being problematic because someone
just being problematic because someone is assuming part of my identity this is
is assuming part of my identity this is
is assuming part of my identity this is problematic because each one of those
problematic because each one of those
problematic because each one of those racial identifiers carries a different
racial identifiers carries a different
racial identifiers carries a different weight in our society this and this
weight in our society this and this
weight in our society this and this assumption leads to the silencing of
assumption leads to the silencing of
assumption leads to the silencing of mixed-race people because we don’t know
mixed-race people because we don’t know
mixed-race people because we don’t know how you perceive us if you think I’m
how you perceive us if you think I’m
how you perceive us if you think I’m white how will you respond if I start
white how will you respond if I start
white how will you respond if I start discussing my instances of
discussing my instances of
discussing my instances of discrimination if you think I’m a person
discrimination if you think I’m a person
discrimination if you think I’m a person of color how will you respond when I
of color how will you respond when I
of color how will you respond when I start condemning the actions of white
start condemning the actions of white
start condemning the actions of white people some of whom are my relatives
people some of whom are my relatives
people some of whom are my relatives I think this phenomenon does a great
I think this phenomenon does a great
I think this phenomenon does a great disservice to us all we are at a time of
disservice to us all we are at a time of
disservice to us all we are at a time of immense racial tension and many racial
immense racial tension and many racial
immense racial tension and many racial discussions become an us-versus-them
discussions become an us-versus-them
discussions become an us-versus-them scenario white people versus people of
scenario white people versus people of
scenario white people versus people of color these conversations are often
color these conversations are often
color these conversations are often polarizing and leaves people feeling
polarizing and leaves people feeling
polarizing and leaves people feeling hurt I believe that by including the
hurt I believe that by including the
hurt I believe that by including the mixed voice the voice that is
mixed voice the voice that is
mixed voice the voice that is experienced but both what it means to be
experienced but both what it means to be
experienced but both what it means to be a person of color and to be white all
a person of color and to be white all
a person of color and to be white all will come away with a greater
will come away with a greater
will come away with a greater understanding of racial issues and I by
understanding of racial issues and I by
understanding of racial issues and I by no means to say I by no means
no means to say I by no means
no means to say I by no means say that this will solve all racial
say that this will solve all racial
say that this will solve all racial issues or that racial Roddick radicals
issues or that racial Roddick radicals
issues or that racial Roddick radicals will fully get behind this but it’s an
will fully get behind this but it’s an
will fully get behind this but it’s an important first step in coming to terms
important first step in coming to terms
important first step in coming to terms with the different races in our society
with the different races in our society
with the different races in our society and we all have a role to play in this
and we all have a role to play in this
and we all have a role to play in this change my role and the role of many
change my role and the role of many
change my role and the role of many others of mixed race is to speak
others of mixed race is to speak
others of mixed race is to speak despite the assumption we stay silent
despite the assumption we stay silent
despite the assumption we stay silent because we’re afraid of something that
because we’re afraid of something that
because we’re afraid of something that may or may not happen and if this does
may or may not happen and if this does
may or may not happen and if this does happen it provides a space for an
happen it provides a space for an
happen it provides a space for an important dialogue that illuminates
important dialogue that illuminates
important dialogue that illuminates racial assumption and the role of those
racial assumption and the role of those
racial assumption and the role of those who are not of mixed race is to try not
who are not of mixed race is to try not
who are not of mixed race is to try not to assume this isn’t easy we’re
to assume this isn’t easy we’re
to assume this isn’t easy we’re hardwired to assume because it allows
hardwired to assume because it allows
hardwired to assume because it allows our brain to make quicker decisions and
our brain to make quicker decisions and
our brain to make quicker decisions and this was super useful when we used to
this was super useful when we used to
this was super useful when we used to only eat twigs and berries and you know
only eat twigs and berries and you know
only eat twigs and berries and you know a tire noise in the middle of the night
a tire noise in the middle of the night
a tire noise in the middle of the night might be a tiger but we’re not there
might be a tiger but we’re not there
might be a tiger but we’re not there anymore
anymore
anymore and it’s important that we try to fight
and it’s important that we try to fight
and it’s important that we try to fight against this nature of ours in order to
against this nature of ours in order to
against this nature of ours in order to have a more understanding society
have a more understanding society
have a more understanding society neither of these roles are easy they’re
neither of these roles are easy they’re
neither of these roles are easy they’re characteristically difficult but growth
characteristically difficult but growth
characteristically difficult but growth does not happen in our comfort zone and
does not happen in our comfort zone and
does not happen in our comfort zone and based on the cultural and political
based on the cultural and political
based on the cultural and political status of America it’s very evident that
status of America it’s very evident that
status of America it’s very evident that we are in some need of growth I’m still
we are in some need of growth I’m still
we are in some need of growth I’m still learning what it means to be a woman of
learning what it means to be a woman of
learning what it means to be a woman of mixed race in the 21st century but I
mixed race in the 21st century but I
mixed race in the 21st century but I know a few things I know that 99% of the
know a few things I know that 99% of the
know a few things I know that 99% of the time when someone’s meat when someone
time when someone’s meat when someone
time when someone’s meat when someone meets me they’ll call me Malini I know
meets me they’ll call me Malini I know
meets me they’ll call me Malini I know that for the rest of my life exotic will
that for the rest of my life exotic will
that for the rest of my life exotic will be seen as a complement primarily and I
be seen as a complement primarily and I
be seen as a complement primarily and I know that a lot of what I thought were
know that a lot of what I thought were
know that a lot of what I thought were or is is my identifiers or ands I like
or is is my identifiers or ands I like
or is is my identifiers or ands I like chicken curry and I like meatloaf
chicken curry and I like meatloaf
chicken curry and I like meatloaf I like American clothes and I love my
I like American clothes and I love my
I like American clothes and I love my sari I am white and a person of color
sari I am white and a person of color
sari I am white and a person of color and I’m telling you all my story today
and I’m telling you all my story today
and I’m telling you all my story today in the hopes that
in the hopes that
in the hopes that maybe I made someone else feel a little
maybe I made someone else feel a little
maybe I made someone else feel a little left alone in their experience and maybe
left alone in their experience and maybe
left alone in their experience and maybe I’ve helped someone see that they have a
I’ve helped someone see that they have a
I’ve helped someone see that they have a role to play in creating a more
role to play in creating a more
role to play in creating a more understanding society thank you
understanding society thank you
understanding society thank you [Applause]
”
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