so this is me with my dad in summer 2010 four days after we’d both been sliced
four days after we’d both been sliced
four days after we’d both been sliced open in side-by-side operating theaters
open in side-by-side operating theaters
open in side-by-side operating theaters and one of his kidneys had been
and one of his kidneys had been
and one of his kidneys had been transplanted into my body in an
transplanted into my body in an
transplanted into my body in an operation that saved my life when this
operation that saved my life when this
operation that saved my life when this photo was taken I just had tubes removed
photo was taken I just had tubes removed
photo was taken I just had tubes removed from places I’d never imagined tubes
from places I’d never imagined tubes
from places I’d never imagined tubes going including here in my neck and even
going including here in my neck and even
going including here in my neck and even though I was coming down from an intense
though I was coming down from an intense
though I was coming down from an intense two opiate I and had a 25 centimeter
two opiate I and had a 25 centimeter
two opiate I and had a 25 centimeter incision in my side held together with
incision in my side held together with
incision in my side held together with about 25 thick metal staples I’d never
about 25 thick metal staples I’d never
about 25 thick metal staples I’d never felt so energized alive or grateful
felt so energized alive or grateful
felt so energized alive or grateful everybody has their own stresses worries
everybody has their own stresses worries
everybody has their own stresses worries and struggles in life and developed
and struggles in life and developed
and struggles in life and developed their own coping mechanisms the
their own coping mechanisms the
their own coping mechanisms the challenge that I had with my health
challenge that I had with my health
challenge that I had with my health developed over many years what impacted
developed over many years what impacted
developed over many years what impacted my life significantly I eventually found
my life significantly I eventually found
my life significantly I eventually found a better way to deal with the challenges
a better way to deal with the challenges
a better way to deal with the challenges that I faced in life and it’s my hope
that I faced in life and it’s my hope
that I faced in life and it’s my hope that by sharing my story with you today
that by sharing my story with you today
that by sharing my story with you today it’ll give you a fresh perspective on
it’ll give you a fresh perspective on
it’ll give you a fresh perspective on how you can deal with your biggest
how you can deal with your biggest
how you can deal with your biggest challenges head-on
challenges head-on
challenges head-on I knew I’d need a transplant for about
I knew I’d need a transplant for about
I knew I’d need a transplant for about 10 years before I received one after I
10 years before I received one after I
10 years before I received one after I was diagnosed with a rare condition
was diagnosed with a rare condition
was diagnosed with a rare condition renal hyperplasia or shrinking kidneys
renal hyperplasia or shrinking kidneys
renal hyperplasia or shrinking kidneys the main effect of this was that every
the main effect of this was that every
the main effect of this was that every single day my kidney function was
single day my kidney function was
single day my kidney function was deteriorating and by the time I got my
deteriorating and by the time I got my
deteriorating and by the time I got my transplant my kidneys were filtering
transplant my kidneys were filtering
transplant my kidneys were filtering toxins from my blood about 10 percent as
toxins from my blood about 10 percent as
toxins from my blood about 10 percent as well as they would if I had been healthy
well as they would if I had been healthy
well as they would if I had been healthy so the main impact of kidney failure for
so the main impact of kidney failure for
so the main impact of kidney failure for me other than eventual death is chronic
me other than eventual death is chronic
me other than eventual death is chronic tiredness so it was like being really
tiredness so it was like being really
tiredness so it was like being really badly jet-lagged all the time almost
badly jet-lagged all the time almost
badly jet-lagged all the time almost everything I put my mind to was secretly
everything I put my mind to was secretly
everything I put my mind to was secretly silently sabotaged by my failing kidneys
silently sabotaged by my failing kidneys
silently sabotaged by my failing kidneys but I decided to ignore this for as long
but I decided to ignore this for as long
but I decided to ignore this for as long as possible
as possible
as possible I was always hard working and I refuse
I was always hard working and I refuse
I was always hard working and I refuse to accept that this challenge would slow
to accept that this challenge would slow
to accept that this challenge would slow me down in the ten years between leaving
me down in the ten years between leaving
me down in the ten years between leaving school and receiving my transplant
school and receiving my transplant
school and receiving my transplant at six businesses in Ireland the UK the
at six businesses in Ireland the UK the
at six businesses in Ireland the UK the US and Malaysia one of which failed one
US and Malaysia one of which failed one
US and Malaysia one of which failed one of which I sold and four of which are
of which I sold and four of which are
of which I sold and four of which are running profitably today I did this by
running profitably today I did this by
running profitably today I did this by pretending the problem wasn’t real by
pretending the problem wasn’t real by
pretending the problem wasn’t real by filling my days so that I never really
filling my days so that I never really
filling my days so that I never really had time to think about the seriousness
had time to think about the seriousness
had time to think about the seriousness of my condition and by masking my
of my condition and by masking my
of my condition and by masking my constant exhaustion in the more socially
constant exhaustion in the more socially
constant exhaustion in the more socially acceptable guise of being a typical
acceptable guise of being a typical
acceptable guise of being a typical overworked technology entrepreneur but
overworked technology entrepreneur but
overworked technology entrepreneur but it was unsustainable and eventually and
it was unsustainable and eventually and
it was unsustainable and eventually and inevitably my strategy of long-term
inevitably my strategy of long-term
inevitably my strategy of long-term escapism failed and I had to accept that
escapism failed and I had to accept that
escapism failed and I had to accept that I’d need to deal with this challenge so
I’d need to deal with this challenge so
I’d need to deal with this challenge so looking back us how I focused for so
looking back us how I focused for so
looking back us how I focused for so many years on achieving career
many years on achieving career
many years on achieving career objectives over almost anything else it
objectives over almost anything else it
objectives over almost anything else it made me want to find a healthier and
made me want to find a healthier and
made me want to find a healthier and more effective way to deal with whatever
more effective way to deal with whatever
more effective way to deal with whatever challenges I faced so what if I could
challenges I faced so what if I could
challenges I faced so what if I could accept the challenges that I faced
accept the challenges that I faced
accept the challenges that I faced rather than hiding from them and what if
rather than hiding from them and what if
rather than hiding from them and what if I could go further and actually embrace
I could go further and actually embrace
I could go further and actually embrace those challenges and reframe them so
those challenges and reframe them so
those challenges and reframe them so that they could help me improve whatever
that they could help me improve whatever
that they could help me improve whatever it is that I’m doing
it is that I’m doing
it is that I’m doing I’d be like pac-man eating a pair of
I’d be like pac-man eating a pair of
I’d be like pac-man eating a pair of pellet and then turning and chasing down
pellet and then turning and chasing down
pellet and then turning and chasing down my ghosts or problems rather than
my ghosts or problems rather than
my ghosts or problems rather than constantly running away from them so I
constantly running away from them so I
constantly running away from them so I started by looking at what I was doing
started by looking at what I was doing
started by looking at what I was doing when I was performing at my absolute
when I was performing at my absolute
when I was performing at my absolute best and it came down to three things
best and it came down to three things
best and it came down to three things being optimistic being persistent and
being optimistic being persistent and
being optimistic being persistent and consciously working to develop my
consciously working to develop my
consciously working to develop my resilience so I remain optimistic by
resilience so I remain optimistic by
resilience so I remain optimistic by focusing on gratitude so when you focus
focusing on gratitude so when you focus
focusing on gratitude so when you focus on gratitude like I did after building
on gratitude like I did after building
on gratitude like I did after building it into my daily routine it helps to
it into my daily routine it helps to
it into my daily routine it helps to make everything else in your life more
make everything else in your life more
make everything else in your life more positive and optimistic so for me it’s
positive and optimistic so for me it’s
positive and optimistic so for me it’s coming home and my daughter running down
coming home and my daughter running down
coming home and my daughter running down the hall and grabbing onto my leg and
the hall and grabbing onto my leg and
the hall and grabbing onto my leg and giving me a big hug or the simplicity of
giving me a big hug or the simplicity of
giving me a big hug or the simplicity of going for a walk on the beach with the
going for a walk on the beach with the
going for a walk on the beach with the family and the dogs on a nice summer’s
family and the dogs on a nice summer’s
family and the dogs on a nice summer’s day and of course for the amazing gift
day and of course for the amazing gift
day and of course for the amazing gift of my kidney
of my kidney
of my kidney but I’m not talking about developing
but I’m not talking about developing
but I’m not talking about developing some kind of madcap spiritual optimism
some kind of madcap spiritual optimism
some kind of madcap spiritual optimism I’m talking about developing a deep
I’m talking about developing a deep
I’m talking about developing a deep genuine confidence in my ability to
genuine confidence in my ability to
genuine confidence in my ability to solve whatever challenge it is that I
solve whatever challenge it is that I
solve whatever challenge it is that I face then I develop my persistence by
face then I develop my persistence by
face then I develop my persistence by having a larger mission that I’m working
having a larger mission that I’m working
having a larger mission that I’m working towards so I’m no astronauts yes but I
towards so I’m no astronauts yes but I
towards so I’m no astronauts yes but I wrote down a plan for my mission what
wrote down a plan for my mission what
wrote down a plan for my mission what mission
mission
mission am I on so I wrote it down for one three
am I on so I wrote it down for one three
am I on so I wrote it down for one three and ten years what do I want to achieve
and ten years what do I want to achieve
and ten years what do I want to achieve professionally and personally
professionally and personally
professionally and personally then if I’m not working on something
then if I’m not working on something
then if I’m not working on something that is contributing to that plan I know
that is contributing to that plan I know
that is contributing to that plan I know that I should be so it helps me to to
that I should be so it helps me to to
that I should be so it helps me to to make sure that I’m working on something
make sure that I’m working on something
make sure that I’m working on something that is relevant and that I can connect
that is relevant and that I can connect
that is relevant and that I can connect to what I want to achieve then how do I
to what I want to achieve then how do I
to what I want to achieve then how do I build my resilience I game fi the
build my resilience I game fi the
build my resilience I game fi the challenges that I come across so we all
challenges that I come across so we all
challenges that I come across so we all game apply things every day so standing
game apply things every day so standing
game apply things every day so standing in the supermarket checkout I’m the only
in the supermarket checkout I’m the only
in the supermarket checkout I’m the only one who knows they’re playing a game to
one who knows they’re playing a game to
one who knows they’re playing a game to see who can unload their items and pay
see who can unload their items and pay
see who can unload their items and pay for them faster me or the guy over here
for them faster me or the guy over here
for them faster me or the guy over here right but either way it’s gamifying
right but either way it’s gamifying
right but either way it’s gamifying the challenges that I face and it makes
the challenges that I face and it makes
the challenges that I face and it makes me want to solve the challenges by
me want to solve the challenges by
me want to solve the challenges by making it fun and engaging to win
making it fun and engaging to win
making it fun and engaging to win something or to beat this challenge and
something or to beat this challenge and
something or to beat this challenge and over time as I do that more often it
over time as I do that more often it
over time as I do that more often it conditions me to be able to bounce back
conditions me to be able to bounce back
conditions me to be able to bounce back faster and handle the different setbacks
faster and handle the different setbacks
faster and handle the different setbacks and challenges that I have more easily
and challenges that I have more easily
and challenges that I have more easily so this this approach is something that
so this this approach is something that
so this this approach is something that anybody can take not everybody has a
anybody can take not everybody has a
anybody can take not everybody has a challenge like kidney failure but you
challenge like kidney failure but you
challenge like kidney failure but you all have your own challenges and you
all have your own challenges and you
all have your own challenges and you deal with them and they impact your life
deal with them and they impact your life
deal with them and they impact your life in different ways so ask yourself what
in different ways so ask yourself what
in different ways so ask yourself what is your greatest challenge how are you
is your greatest challenge how are you
is your greatest challenge how are you letting an impact on your attitude
letting an impact on your attitude
letting an impact on your attitude towards your ability to achieve your
towards your ability to achieve your
towards your ability to achieve your ambition what are you hiding from like I
ambition what are you hiding from like I
ambition what are you hiding from like I hid from my failing kidneys for so many
hid from my failing kidneys for so many
hid from my failing kidneys for so many years
years
years so do something counterintuitive embrace
so do something counterintuitive embrace
so do something counterintuitive embrace that biggest fear harness that challenge
that biggest fear harness that challenge
that biggest fear harness that challenge to be something that
to be something that
to be something that empowers you rather than limit you thank
empowers you rather than limit you thank
empowers you rather than limit you thank you
you
you [Applause]
”
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