Addressing the Martian in the Room | Rima Kaddoura | TEDxAUB

I learned the most important lesson of

I learned the most important lesson of my life on the first day of the first

my life on the first day of the first

my life on the first day of the first grade that lesson wasn’t share your

grade that lesson wasn’t share your

grade that lesson wasn’t share your crayons or don’t hit that lesson was

crayons or don’t hit that lesson was

crayons or don’t hit that lesson was that I came from Mars I learned this

that I came from Mars I learned this

that I came from Mars I learned this lesson while being shown around the

lesson while being shown around the

lesson while being shown around the classroom I was feeling a piece of

classroom I was feeling a piece of

classroom I was feeling a piece of science equipment when a bear in my

science equipment when a bear in my

science equipment when a bear in my class said hey don’t touch that it’s for

class said hey don’t touch that it’s for

class said hey don’t touch that it’s for smart people it says one of my sharpest

smart people it says one of my sharpest

smart people it says one of my sharpest childhood memories because it was the

childhood memories because it was the

childhood memories because it was the day I realized that I would never fit in

day I realized that I would never fit in

day I realized that I would never fit in with other kids let me back up a few

with other kids let me back up a few

with other kids let me back up a few years I was born with a type of cancer

years I was born with a type of cancer

years I was born with a type of cancer called retinoblastoma which develops on

called retinoblastoma which develops on

called retinoblastoma which develops on the retina of the eye I had it in both

the retina of the eye I had it in both

the retina of the eye I had it in both eyes my left was removed and I received

eyes my left was removed and I received

eyes my left was removed and I received cancer treatment when I was a baby and

cancer treatment when I was a baby and

cancer treatment when I was a baby and then the retina of my right eye detached

then the retina of my right eye detached

then the retina of my right eye detached twice at the age of three I was left

twice at the age of three I was left

twice at the age of three I was left with very little vision the little I had

with very little vision the little I had

with very little vision the little I had continued to decrease until I was 13

continued to decrease until I was 13

continued to decrease until I was 13 I’ve been totally blind ever since so

I’ve been totally blind ever since so

I’ve been totally blind ever since so you see what that boy meant wasn’t that

you see what that boy meant wasn’t that

you see what that boy meant wasn’t that the equipment was for smart people he

the equipment was for smart people he

the equipment was for smart people he meant that it was for people with sight

meant that it was for people with sight

meant that it was for people with sight I’m not going to stand here and tell you

I’m not going to stand here and tell you

I’m not going to stand here and tell you that my childhood was so hard because I

that my childhood was so hard because I

that my childhood was so hard because I had it pretty good my family members

had it pretty good my family members

had it pretty good my family members were healthy happy and supportive I

were healthy happy and supportive I

were healthy happy and supportive I lived in Canada which had its benefits

lived in Canada which had its benefits

lived in Canada which had its benefits my goods were excellent and I was good

my goods were excellent and I was good

my goods were excellent and I was good at sports I did well in the spelling bee

at sports I did well in the spelling bee

at sports I did well in the spelling bee and I won international Braille literacy

and I won international Braille literacy

and I won international Braille literacy competitions

competitions

competitions Braille is a tactile method of reading

Braille is a tactile method of reading

Braille is a tactile method of reading and writing for the visually impaired I

and writing for the visually impaired I

and writing for the visually impaired I even took a ceramics course in junior

even took a ceramics course in junior

even took a ceramics course in junior high and found that I was not too shabby

high and found that I was not too shabby

high and found that I was not too shabby when working with my hands the main

when working with my hands the main

when working with my hands the main thing I really struggled with was making

thing I really struggled with was making

thing I really struggled with was making friends high school was definitely the

friends high school was definitely the

friends high school was definitely the worst

worst

worst I was that kid who hung out with the

I was that kid who hung out with the

I was that kid who hung out with the teachers at lunch cuz no one my age

teachers at lunch cuz no one my age

teachers at lunch cuz no one my age wanted to sit with me I wasn’t exactly

wanted to sit with me I wasn’t exactly

wanted to sit with me I wasn’t exactly brimming with confidence but I didn’t

brimming with confidence but I didn’t

brimming with confidence but I didn’t have any severe self-esteem issues

have any severe self-esteem issues

have any severe self-esteem issues either and yet I walked out of that

either and yet I walked out of that

either and yet I walked out of that school thinking there was something

school thinking there was something

school thinking there was something wrong with me am i weird

wrong with me am i weird

wrong with me am i weird maybe I’m funny-looking God knows my mom

maybe I’m funny-looking God knows my mom

maybe I’m funny-looking God knows my mom wasn’t going to tell me I was ugly but

wasn’t going to tell me I was ugly but

wasn’t going to tell me I was ugly but all jokes aside I walked out of that

all jokes aside I walked out of that

all jokes aside I walked out of that school feeling as though I was nothing

school feeling as though I was nothing

school feeling as though I was nothing some good news when I graduated from

some good news when I graduated from

some good news when I graduated from high school I moved here to Lebanon

high school I moved here to Lebanon

high school I moved here to Lebanon that’s not the good news

at least I didn’t think it was anywhere

at least I didn’t think it was anywhere near good news at the time but then I

near good news at the time but then I

near good news at the time but then I started studying at a UB my life

started studying at a UB my life

started studying at a UB my life flipped did I magically become the most

flipped did I magically become the most

flipped did I magically become the most popular girl around no way but for the

popular girl around no way but for the

popular girl around no way but for the first time people were willingly talking

first time people were willingly talking

first time people were willingly talking to me more importantly I made friends a

to me more importantly I made friends a

to me more importantly I made friends a UB is to my pleasant surprise

UB is to my pleasant surprise

UB is to my pleasant surprise the first place I’ve ever felt like I

the first place I’ve ever felt like I

the first place I’ve ever felt like I belonged so there you go that’s the good

belonged so there you go that’s the good

belonged so there you go that’s the good news the question that naturally comes

news the question that naturally comes

news the question that naturally comes to my next is does the Martian status

to my next is does the Martian status

to my next is does the Martian status that I acquired in the first grade still

that I acquired in the first grade still

that I acquired in the first grade still apply if I found happiness at a UB the

apply if I found happiness at a UB the

apply if I found happiness at a UB the answer I’m afraid is yes example about a

answer I’m afraid is yes example about a

answer I’m afraid is yes example about a year ago a young man came up to me and

year ago a young man came up to me and

year ago a young man came up to me and said that he would like to pray for

said that he would like to pray for

said that he would like to pray for Jesus Christ to heal me all religious

Jesus Christ to heal me all religious

Jesus Christ to heal me all religious beliefs aside there is one fundamental

beliefs aside there is one fundamental

beliefs aside there is one fundamental issue with this scenario he knew nothing

issue with this scenario he knew nothing

issue with this scenario he knew nothing about my life aside from the fact that

about my life aside from the fact that

about my life aside from the fact that I’m blind based on this fact he assumed

I’m blind based on this fact he assumed

I’m blind based on this fact he assumed that I must be unhappy he said without

that I must be unhappy he said without

that I must be unhappy he said without words that my life is not worth living

words that my life is not worth living

words that my life is not worth living the way it is full disclosure

the way it is full disclosure

the way it is full disclosure normally I keep my emotions to myself

normally I keep my emotions to myself

normally I keep my emotions to myself but after he walked away I found a place

but after he walked away I found a place

but after he walked away I found a place to sit down and I cried in a way that I

to sit down and I cried in a way that I

to sit down and I cried in a way that I had not cried since I left my miserable

had not cried since I left my miserable

had not cried since I left my miserable high school experience behind that

high school experience behind that

high school experience behind that simple gesture that he meant out of

simple gesture that he meant out of

simple gesture that he meant out of kindness hurt if he had taken the time

kindness hurt if he had taken the time

kindness hurt if he had taken the time to get to know me he would have learned

to get to know me he would have learned

to get to know me he would have learned that I am content with my life and that

that I am content with my life and that

that I am content with my life and that I have so much hope for the future most

I have so much hope for the future most

I have so much hope for the future most importantly he would have learned that

importantly he would have learned that

importantly he would have learned that my visual impairment a seemingly

my visual impairment a seemingly

my visual impairment a seemingly impossible challenge to him is simply an

impossible challenge to him is simply an

impossible challenge to him is simply an obstacle I know I have the ability to

obstacle I know I have the ability to

obstacle I know I have the ability to overcome

overcome

overcome the issue was not that he offered to

the issue was not that he offered to

the issue was not that he offered to pray for me but that the only thing he

pray for me but that the only thing he

pray for me but that the only thing he saw was my disability that so often

saw was my disability that so often

saw was my disability that so often happens my disability becomes my entire

happens my disability becomes my entire

happens my disability becomes my entire identity I am not my visual impairment I

identity I am not my visual impairment I

identity I am not my visual impairment I am Reema I am a master’s student I am an

am Reema I am a master’s student I am an

am Reema I am a master’s student I am an avid reader I am a daughter I am a

avid reader I am a daughter I am a

avid reader I am a daughter I am a sister I am a friend I am I am sir many

sister I am a friend I am I am sir many

sister I am a friend I am I am sir many things I am not my visual impairment I

things I am not my visual impairment I

things I am not my visual impairment I have a visual impairment that

have a visual impairment that

have a visual impairment that distinction can make a world of

distinction can make a world of

distinction can make a world of difference

so why was that all he saw him the boy

so why was that all he saw him the boy in the first grade and others like them

in the first grade and others like them

in the first grade and others like them an answer came to me not too long ago

an answer came to me not too long ago

an answer came to me not too long ago it’s quite simple really

it’s quite simple really

it’s quite simple really they were limited to only one

they were limited to only one

they were limited to only one perspective their perspective this is

perspective their perspective this is

perspective their perspective this is human nature we can’t really understand

human nature we can’t really understand

human nature we can’t really understand something we’ve never experienced this

something we’ve never experienced this

something we’ve never experienced this whole time I’ve been talking about being

whole time I’ve been talking about being

whole time I’ve been talking about being treated like a species from another

treated like a species from another

treated like a species from another planet but all I mean when I say Martian

planet but all I mean when I say Martian

planet but all I mean when I say Martian status is actually exclusion it’s hard

status is actually exclusion it’s hard

status is actually exclusion it’s hard to find a job a group of friends or even

to find a job a group of friends or even

to find a job a group of friends or even a meaningful relationship if people are

a meaningful relationship if people are

a meaningful relationship if people are all struck when I do simple things

all struck when I do simple things

all struck when I do simple things because they’ll worry they need to

because they’ll worry they need to

because they’ll worry they need to babysit me through anything more

babysit me through anything more

babysit me through anything more difficult ladies and gentlemen I believe

difficult ladies and gentlemen I believe

difficult ladies and gentlemen I believe we can end exclusion of people with

we can end exclusion of people with

we can end exclusion of people with disabilities by focusing on the

disabilities by focusing on the

disabilities by focusing on the following when we feel inspired by

following when we feel inspired by

following when we feel inspired by someone with a disability we must ask

someone with a disability we must ask

someone with a disability we must ask ourselves if they would still be

ourselves if they would still be

ourselves if they would still be inspiring – the disability if the answer

inspiring – the disability if the answer

inspiring – the disability if the answer is no we may be causing that person more

is no we may be causing that person more

is no we may be causing that person more harm than we realize

I’ve faced a great deal of exclusion in

I’ve faced a great deal of exclusion in my life on account of my disability and

my life on account of my disability and

my life on account of my disability and I’m likely to face more being treated

I’m likely to face more being treated

I’m likely to face more being treated like a novelty never made much sense to

like a novelty never made much sense to

like a novelty never made much sense to me though the way I see it I’m just your

me though the way I see it I’m just your

me though the way I see it I’m just your average 22 year old with a point to

average 22 year old with a point to

average 22 year old with a point to prove and a bit of an attitude so let’s

prove and a bit of an attitude so let’s

prove and a bit of an attitude so let’s start promoting inclusion of people with

start promoting inclusion of people with

start promoting inclusion of people with disabilities in society you never know

disabilities in society you never know

disabilities in society you never know the person you need most might just be

the person you need most might just be

the person you need most might just be the Martian in the room thank you

the Martian in the room thank you

the Martian in the room thank you [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]