[Applause] this is my daughter Izzy and like all
this is my daughter Izzy and like all
this is my daughter Izzy and like all children she simultaneously makes me
children she simultaneously makes me
children she simultaneously makes me want to laugh and pull whatever hair I
want to laugh and pull whatever hair I
want to laugh and pull whatever hair I have left on my head out however she has
have left on my head out however she has
have left on my head out however she has been the single most important thing has
been the single most important thing has
been the single most important thing has ever happened to me as an educator you
ever happened to me as an educator you
ever happened to me as an educator you see four years ago she started school
see four years ago she started school
see four years ago she started school and for the very first time I knew what
and for the very first time I knew what
and for the very first time I knew what it was like to be on the other side of
it was like to be on the other side of
it was like to be on the other side of the fence because of Izzy
the fence because of Izzy
the fence because of Izzy she made me question who I was as an
she made me question who I was as an
she made me question who I was as an educator she made me think why my
educator she made me think why my
educator she made me think why my students were in that classroom and more
students were in that classroom and more
students were in that classroom and more importantly she made me think what
importantly she made me think what
importantly she made me think what school was all about today I want to
school was all about today I want to
school was all about today I want to share a little bit about this journey
share a little bit about this journey
share a little bit about this journey but more importantly I want to make you
but more importantly I want to make you
but more importantly I want to make you think about one thing children want to
think about one thing children want to
think about one thing children want to matter is Izzy on the very first day of
matter is Izzy on the very first day of
matter is Izzy on the very first day of kindergarten by the sounds of your
kindergarten by the sounds of your
kindergarten by the sounds of your voices do you think she’s kind of cute
voices do you think she’s kind of cute
voices do you think she’s kind of cute and though I’m a little biased I would
and though I’m a little biased I would
and though I’m a little biased I would have to agree with you
have to agree with you
have to agree with you however she’s not the easiest child to
however she’s not the easiest child to
however she’s not the easiest child to get along with and in fact she got in a
get along with and in fact she got in a
get along with and in fact she got in a lot of physical fights with both her
lot of physical fights with both her
lot of physical fights with both her teacher and her peers I know it’s hard
teacher and her peers I know it’s hard
teacher and her peers I know it’s hard to believe and this caused a not so
to believe and this caused a not so
to believe and this caused a not so positive experience for her in the
positive experience for her in the
positive experience for her in the kindergarten but this also caused my
kindergarten but this also caused my
kindergarten but this also caused my wife and I to go on an amazing journey
wife and I to go on an amazing journey
wife and I to go on an amazing journey that we’re still on we took it to a lot
that we’re still on we took it to a lot
that we’re still on we took it to a lot of consults we took her to see some
of consults we took her to see some
of consults we took her to see some occupational therapy and finally speech
occupational therapy and finally speech
occupational therapy and finally speech where we found out that she was the
where we found out that she was the
where we found out that she was the first percentile for expressive language
first percentile for expressive language
first percentile for expressive language and 56 percentile for receptive language
and 56 percentile for receptive language
and 56 percentile for receptive language basically she could take everything in
basically she could take everything in
basically she could take everything in but could not tell you how she was
but could not tell you how she was
but could not tell you how she was feeling no wonder she struggled in
feeling no wonder she struggled in
feeling no wonder she struggled in kindergarten it was also around this
kindergarten it was also around this
kindergarten it was also around this time that Angela mayor spoke at a
time that Angela mayor spoke at a
time that Angela mayor spoke at a conference where she said these two
conference where she said these two
conference where she said these two words you matter and she said that these
words you matter and she said that these
words you matter and she said that these two words will change the lives of
two words will change the lives of
two words will change the lives of children and affect their future forever
children and affect their future forever
children and affect their future forever you can see why these two words really
you can see why these two words really
you can see why these two words really resonated with me I was also reading a
resonated with me I was also reading a
resonated with me I was also reading a book called the explosive child by dr.
book called the explosive child by dr.
book called the explosive child by dr. Ross green at this point for obvious
Ross green at this point for obvious
Ross green at this point for obvious reasons dr. green
reasons dr. green
reasons dr. green talks about the collaborative
talks about the collaborative
talks about the collaborative problem-solving approach for dealing
problem-solving approach for dealing
problem-solving approach for dealing with behavior basically build a
with behavior basically build a
with behavior basically build a relationship first understand the
relationship first understand the
relationship first understand the underlining ideas and then address the
underlining ideas and then address the
underlining ideas and then address the behavior now I don’t know about you but
behavior now I don’t know about you but
behavior now I don’t know about you but this might go against everything that we
this might go against everything that we
this might go against everything that we may have thought about raising children
may have thought about raising children
may have thought about raising children at least for me when I grew up it was
at least for me when I grew up it was
at least for me when I grew up it was spare the rod spoil the child but that
spare the rod spoil the child but that
spare the rod spoil the child but that doesn’t work for some children and it
doesn’t work for some children and it
doesn’t work for some children and it definitely doesn’t work in education
definitely doesn’t work in education
definitely doesn’t work in education unless you want to be in the blue pages
unless you want to be in the blue pages
unless you want to be in the blue pages my daughter is not alone in this journey
my daughter is not alone in this journey
my daughter is not alone in this journey there are many children that we have in
there are many children that we have in
there are many children that we have in our school system that are just
our school system that are just
our school system that are just misunderstood this is one of my students
misunderstood this is one of my students
misunderstood this is one of my students that I had last year and before he came
that I had last year and before he came
that I had last year and before he came to our school we were told that he was a
to our school we were told that he was a
to our school we were told that he was a big behavior basically we were told
big behavior basically we were told
big behavior basically we were told watch out and so I did watch out for a
watch out and so I did watch out for a
watch out and so I did watch out for a bit but I didn’t notice that behavior
bit but I didn’t notice that behavior
bit but I didn’t notice that behavior what I noticed was high anxiety
what I noticed was high anxiety
what I noticed was high anxiety reclusiveness he didn’t even want to
reclusiveness he didn’t even want to
reclusiveness he didn’t even want to make friends and so I pulled him aside
make friends and so I pulled him aside
make friends and so I pulled him aside and I said to him hey what’s up and we
and I said to him hey what’s up and we
and I said to him hey what’s up and we had a big long chat but in that
had a big long chat but in that
had a big long chat but in that conversation he goes to me you know mr.
conversation he goes to me you know mr.
conversation he goes to me you know mr. so the other school just thought I was
so the other school just thought I was
so the other school just thought I was annoying I chuckled a little because I
annoying I chuckled a little because I
annoying I chuckled a little because I also said well I think you’re annoying
also said well I think you’re annoying
also said well I think you’re annoying too but I love that part about you in
too but I love that part about you in
too but I love that part about you in fact that’s what makes me like you even
fact that’s what makes me like you even
fact that’s what makes me like you even more
more
more you see this child was not a behavior he
you see this child was not a behavior he
you see this child was not a behavior he was just misunderstood Daniel Seeger
was just misunderstood Daniel Seeger
was just misunderstood Daniel Seeger author of no drama discipline offers
author of no drama discipline offers
author of no drama discipline offers this acronym to think about misbehaviors
this acronym to think about misbehaviors
this acronym to think about misbehaviors he says when you think of MS behaviors
he says when you think of MS behaviors
he says when you think of MS behaviors think of this children act out when they
think of this children act out when they
think of this children act out when they are hungry angry lonely and tired
are hungry angry lonely and tired
are hungry angry lonely and tired in fact most adults do as well I was so
in fact most adults do as well I was so
in fact most adults do as well I was so proud of this student at the end of the
proud of this student at the end of the
proud of this student at the end of the year he came to me and said mr. so I
year he came to me and said mr. so I
year he came to me and said mr. so I can’t control my anger at the moment
can’t control my anger at the moment
can’t control my anger at the moment it’s not the people around me it’s me
it’s not the people around me it’s me
it’s not the people around me it’s me and I need a break I was so proud that
and I need a break I was so proud that
and I need a break I was so proud that he was able to communicate that feeling
he was able to communicate that feeling
he was able to communicate that feeling to me it was truly remarkable I was also
to me it was truly remarkable I was also
to me it was truly remarkable I was also at this point that
at this point that
at this point that Stuart Sheng Kurds were fell in my lap
Stuart Sheng Kurds were fell in my lap
Stuart Sheng Kurds were fell in my lap this has probably been one of the most
this has probably been one of the most
this has probably been one of the most influential pieces of literature that I
influential pieces of literature that I
influential pieces of literature that I have read in a very long time both as an
have read in a very long time both as an
have read in a very long time both as an educator and as a parent Stuart says at
educator and as a parent Stuart says at
educator and as a parent Stuart says at the beginning of his book that he’s
the beginning of his book that he’s
the beginning of his book that he’s never met a bad child I want you to
never met a bad child I want you to
never met a bad child I want you to think about that for a minute because I
think about that for a minute because I
think about that for a minute because I know we’ve all had the stories or heard
know we’ve all had the stories or heard
know we’ve all had the stories or heard those stories of that child in fact I
those stories of that child in fact I
those stories of that child in fact I probably was that child but there’s
probably was that child but there’s
probably was that child but there’s nothing like a healthy dose of reality
nothing like a healthy dose of reality
nothing like a healthy dose of reality to put everything into perspective and
to put everything into perspective and
to put everything into perspective and it was amazing to see huge changes in my
it was amazing to see huge changes in my
it was amazing to see huge changes in my daughter as my wife and I put in some
daughter as my wife and I put in some
daughter as my wife and I put in some places around anxiety
places around anxiety
places around anxiety more importantly the following year her
more importantly the following year her
more importantly the following year her teacher put in some great relationship
teacher put in some great relationship
teacher put in some great relationship building and there was one day that I
building and there was one day that I
building and there was one day that I picked up my daughter from school and
picked up my daughter from school and
picked up my daughter from school and she goes you know what is he came to
she goes you know what is he came to
she goes you know what is he came to school and today I was like old boy she
school and today I was like old boy she
school and today I was like old boy she came in with a goggles and a housecoat
came in with a goggles and a housecoat
came in with a goggles and a housecoat in the middle of September heatwave I
in the middle of September heatwave I
in the middle of September heatwave I was like oh great but she said no it was
was like oh great but she said no it was
was like oh great but she said no it was like The Big Lebowski and I just had to
like The Big Lebowski and I just had to
like The Big Lebowski and I just had to laugh because this teacher understood
laugh because this teacher understood
laugh because this teacher understood who my daughter was in a nutshell she
who my daughter was in a nutshell she
who my daughter was in a nutshell she knew a story that was behind all the
knew a story that was behind all the
knew a story that was behind all the stories and so you can see why when
stories and so you can see why when
stories and so you can see why when Angela stood in from the crowd and said
Angela stood in from the crowd and said
Angela stood in from the crowd and said those two words you matter why those
those two words you matter why those
those two words you matter why those words resonated with me so much in fact
words resonated with me so much in fact
words resonated with me so much in fact it resonated with me so much that I
it resonated with me so much that I
it resonated with me so much that I started at that very moment at you
started at that very moment at you
started at that very moment at you matter board with my students this was a
matter board with my students this was a
matter board with my students this was a board where we could put our dreams our
board where we could put our dreams our
board where we could put our dreams our aspirations we even gave compliments to
aspirations we even gave compliments to
aspirations we even gave compliments to one another and we told stories about
one another and we told stories about
one another and we told stories about one another next to it was at a vice
one another next to it was at a vice
one another next to it was at a vice wall this was a place where kids could
wall this was a place where kids could
wall this was a place where kids could tell other kids of how to be successful
tell other kids of how to be successful
tell other kids of how to be successful you know at first we got listen be nice
you know at first we got listen be nice
you know at first we got listen be nice this is a funny one if mr. so yells at
this is a funny one if mr. so yells at
this is a funny one if mr. so yells at you you probably deserved it
you you probably deserved it
you you probably deserved it but I got these ones as well be with
but I got these ones as well be with
but I got these ones as well be with people who make you better love be
people who make you better love be
people who make you better love be outstanding it was at that moment that I
outstanding it was at that moment that I
outstanding it was at that moment that I saw real change in my students we also
saw real change in my students we also
saw real change in my students we also started community circles community
started community circles community
started community circles community circles for me was a place where we
circles for me was a place where we
circles for me was a place where we could talk about our Dreeben tsa’s talk
could talk about our Dreeben tsa’s talk
could talk about our Dreeben tsa’s talk about our problems that were happening
about our problems that were happening
about our problems that were happening out in the playground we offered no
out in the playground we offered no
out in the playground we offered no names no biases we just talked
names no biases we just talked
names no biases we just talked we offered strategies to one another and
we offered strategies to one another and
we offered strategies to one another and my students really started to mature and
my students really started to mature and
my students really started to mature and grow my principal always asks this
grow my principal always asks this
grow my principal always asks this question to me Jonathan what’s the
question to me Jonathan what’s the
question to me Jonathan what’s the difference that’s making the difference
difference that’s making the difference
difference that’s making the difference and at this moment I didn’t really know
and at this moment I didn’t really know
and at this moment I didn’t really know what to say to them so I asked them I
what to say to them so I asked them I
what to say to them so I asked them I said what is the difference that’s
said what is the difference that’s
said what is the difference that’s making the difference what they said to
making the difference what they said to
making the difference what they said to me you listen it’s like really what what
me you listen it’s like really what what
me you listen it’s like really what what do you mean by that
do you mean by that
do you mean by that I listen yet mister so whether it’s
I listen yet mister so whether it’s
I listen yet mister so whether it’s about a pencil that we lost or it’s an
about a pencil that we lost or it’s an
about a pencil that we lost or it’s an argument with our best friend you listen
argument with our best friend you listen
argument with our best friend you listen to us you don’t offer judgment you
to us you don’t offer judgment you
to us you don’t offer judgment you listen and then offer suggestions Wow
listen and then offer suggestions Wow
listen and then offer suggestions Wow listen I want to offer another story to
listen I want to offer another story to
listen I want to offer another story to you this happened when my daughter was
you this happened when my daughter was
you this happened when my daughter was five years old my daughter wanted to
five years old my daughter wanted to
five years old my daughter wanted to make a fire truck in Minecraft at this
make a fire truck in Minecraft at this
make a fire truck in Minecraft at this point in time I had no idea what
point in time I had no idea what
point in time I had no idea what minecraft was so she goes don’t worry
minecraft was so she goes don’t worry
minecraft was so she goes don’t worry daddy we can YouTube it and so she did
daddy we can YouTube it and so she did
daddy we can YouTube it and so she did she YouTubed it herself and design and
she YouTubed it herself and design and
she YouTubed it herself and design and built a fire truck in Minecraft like all
built a fire truck in Minecraft like all
built a fire truck in Minecraft like all my students is he has an amazing story
my students is he has an amazing story
my students is he has an amazing story and of course downfalls but that’s what
and of course downfalls but that’s what
and of course downfalls but that’s what makes her special for the very first
makes her special for the very first
makes her special for the very first time last year I had an emotional
time last year I had an emotional
time last year I had an emotional connection to my students I’ve never had
connection to my students I’ve never had
connection to my students I’ve never had before
before
before now for those of you know me you can
now for those of you know me you can
now for those of you know me you can even ask my wife I’m traditionally not
even ask my wife I’m traditionally not
even ask my wife I’m traditionally not an emotional person but I cried almost
an emotional person but I cried almost
an emotional person but I cried almost putting together the slideshow at the
putting together the slideshow at the
putting together the slideshow at the end of the year it was because I knew
end of the year it was because I knew
end of the year it was because I knew who my students were as if I knew my own
who my students were as if I knew my own
who my students were as if I knew my own kids we’ve heard amazing things today
kids we’ve heard amazing things today
kids we’ve heard amazing things today you are amazing people or you wouldn’t
you are amazing people or you wouldn’t
you are amazing people or you wouldn’t be spending the last hour and even then
be spending the last hour and even then
be spending the last hour and even then more so
more so
more so listening to amazing talks you know of
listening to amazing talks you know of
listening to amazing talks you know of all the truly innovative classrooms that
all the truly innovative classrooms that
all the truly innovative classrooms that we have heard about or seen in the news
we have heard about or seen in the news
we have heard about or seen in the news but I want to ask you one thing if
but I want to ask you one thing if
but I want to ask you one thing if children don’t want to be there does all
children don’t want to be there does all
children don’t want to be there does all of that really matter when Angela said
of that really matter when Angela said
of that really matter when Angela said those two words you matter they will
those two words you matter they will
those two words you matter they will change lives they will affect the future
change lives they will affect the future
change lives they will affect the future I asked you at the beginning of the talk
I asked you at the beginning of the talk
I asked you at the beginning of the talk to think about that one thing students
to think about that one thing students
to think about that one thing students and children want to matter and I hope
and children want to matter and I hope
and children want to matter and I hope you have because when our children our
you have because when our children our
you have because when our children our students know that they are loved
students know that they are loved
students know that they are loved welcomed part of a community they will
welcomed part of a community they will
welcomed part of a community they will do anything for you so am i in this talk
do anything for you so am i in this talk
do anything for you so am i in this talk today by saying thank you and know this
today by saying thank you and know this
today by saying thank you and know this each and every one of you today matter
each and every one of you today matter
each and every one of you today matter to me
to me
to me [Applause]
”
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