I want that toy how many of you in here have been a parent or have witnessed a
have been a parent or have witnessed a
have been a parent or have witnessed a parent in the store doing one of these
parent in the store doing one of these
parent in the store doing one of these oh my god it is so embarrassing and it’s
oh my god it is so embarrassing and it’s
oh my god it is so embarrassing and it’s so frustrating for that child and you
so frustrating for that child and you
so frustrating for that child and you know that you had that conversation in
know that you had that conversation in
know that you had that conversation in the car before you got out right you uh
the car before you got out right you uh
the car before you got out right you uh thousands your but your buckle or you
thousands your but your buckle or you
thousands your but your buckle or you adjust at the rearview mirror so that
adjust at the rearview mirror so that
adjust at the rearview mirror so that you could have a clear view of the back
you could have a clear view of the back
you could have a clear view of the back of the seat and say hey hey listen up we
of the seat and say hey hey listen up we
of the seat and say hey hey listen up we just had this conversation home if you
just had this conversation home if you
just had this conversation home if you act up in this store you can best
act up in this store you can best
act up in this store you can best believe you’re not gonna get that toy or
believe you’re not gonna get that toy or
believe you’re not gonna get that toy or that piece of candy right and they say
that piece of candy right and they say
that piece of candy right and they say yes mom and a lot of times that
yes mom and a lot of times that
yes mom and a lot of times that conversation goes pretty well another
conversation goes pretty well another
conversation goes pretty well another time we get this result it happens but
time we get this result it happens but
time we get this result it happens but you know what if we didn’t actually have
you know what if we didn’t actually have
you know what if we didn’t actually have to have that conversation when we got
to have that conversation when we got
to have that conversation when we got out of the car or let’s suppose we
out of the car or let’s suppose we
out of the car or let’s suppose we didn’t have to have the conversation at
didn’t have to have the conversation at
didn’t have to have the conversation at home when we got into the car to go to
home when we got into the car to go to
home when we got into the car to go to the store what if we didn’t have to have
the store what if we didn’t have to have
the store what if we didn’t have to have that conversation at all because we had
that conversation at all because we had
that conversation at all because we had a a conversation months ago about
a a conversation months ago about
a a conversation months ago about something bigger than a toy or a piece
something bigger than a toy or a piece
something bigger than a toy or a piece of candy that they would get if they
of candy that they would get if they
of candy that they would get if they were good when they went to the store
were good when they went to the store
were good when they went to the store what if this conversation involves
what if this conversation involves
what if this conversation involves something of a much larger reward
something of a much larger reward
something of a much larger reward something that the entire family would
something that the entire family would
something that the entire family would enjoy maybe is a vacation we all love to
enjoy maybe is a vacation we all love to
enjoy maybe is a vacation we all love to plan for vacations maybe it was to get a
plan for vacations maybe it was to get a
plan for vacations maybe it was to get a bigger car because your car that you
bigger car because your car that you
bigger car because your car that you have is old or you’ve outgrown it or
have is old or you’ve outgrown it or
have is old or you’ve outgrown it or maybe just maybe the conversation is
maybe just maybe the conversation is
maybe just maybe the conversation is about buying a home and it isn’t a
about buying a home and it isn’t a
about buying a home and it isn’t a conversation that mom and dad have
conversation that mom and dad have
conversation that mom and dad have together it’s a conversation that the
together it’s a conversation that the
together it’s a conversation that the entire
entire
entire family is going to be able to
family is going to be able to
family is going to be able to participate in there’s nothing that
participate in there’s nothing that
participate in there’s nothing that gives more joy to the kids than to know
gives more joy to the kids than to know
gives more joy to the kids than to know that they’re going to be making adult
that they’re going to be making adult
that they’re going to be making adult decisions why not include them in that
decisions why not include them in that
decisions why not include them in that I’m going to share with you just a few
I’m going to share with you just a few
I’m going to share with you just a few tips that can possibly help you and your
tips that can possibly help you and your
tips that can possibly help you and your children experience this joy to
children experience this joy to
children experience this joy to homeownership okay tip number one seek
homeownership okay tip number one seek
homeownership okay tip number one seek out the help of a professional
out the help of a professional
out the help of a professional homeownership specialists housing
homeownership specialists housing
homeownership specialists housing counselor or financial coach they are
counselor or financial coach they are
counselor or financial coach they are your advocates they are your champions
your advocates they are your champions
your advocates they are your champions they’re there to help you be successful
they’re there to help you be successful
they’re there to help you be successful go to as many homeownership workshops
go to as many homeownership workshops
go to as many homeownership workshops and classes that you can possibly go to
and classes that you can possibly go to
and classes that you can possibly go to have them sit down with you and look at
have them sit down with you and look at
have them sit down with you and look at realistic budgets help you to create a
realistic budgets help you to create a
realistic budgets help you to create a good savings account pay down those
good savings account pay down those
good savings account pay down those debts sit down a really plan if this is
debts sit down a really plan if this is
debts sit down a really plan if this is the right decision for you sometimes
the right decision for you sometimes
the right decision for you sometimes homeownership isn’t for everybody but
homeownership isn’t for everybody but
homeownership isn’t for everybody but you need to know if this is a good
you need to know if this is a good
you need to know if this is a good decision for your family so have that
decision for your family so have that
decision for your family so have that conversation with them in the 20 years
conversation with them in the 20 years
conversation with them in the 20 years that I have provided assistance to
that I have provided assistance to
that I have provided assistance to families and the hundreds of families
families and the hundreds of families
families and the hundreds of families that I’ve been able to help through this
that I’ve been able to help through this
that I’ve been able to help through this journey there is nothing that gives me
journey there is nothing that gives me
journey there is nothing that gives me more joy than to see a family go from
more joy than to see a family go from
more joy than to see a family go from start to finish but especially if their
start to finish but especially if their
start to finish but especially if their kids were involved with it so tip number
kids were involved with it so tip number
kids were involved with it so tip number two once you’ve decided that this is a
two once you’ve decided that this is a
two once you’ve decided that this is a journey that you want to go down share
journey that you want to go down share
journey that you want to go down share it with the family ask the kids what do
it with the family ask the kids what do
it with the family ask the kids what do you want if you buy a home well they may
you want if you buy a home well they may
you want if you buy a home well they may say something like oh well I want my own
say something like oh well I want my own
say something like oh well I want my own bedroom because I want to paint it pink
bedroom because I want to paint it pink
bedroom because I want to paint it pink or a blue or if they have to share a
or a blue or if they have to share a
or a blue or if they have to share a bedroom maybe they want an awesome bunk
bedroom maybe they want an awesome bunk
bedroom maybe they want an awesome bunk bed set right they want a big backyard
bed set right they want a big backyard
bed set right they want a big backyard and they want a dog whatever the case is
and they want a dog whatever the case is
and they want a dog whatever the case is and you know what hasn’t write it out if
and you know what hasn’t write it out if
and you know what hasn’t write it out if they’re old enough to write put on a
they’re old enough to write put on a
they’re old enough to write put on a nice big piece of paper wish this is
nice big piece of paper wish this is
nice big piece of paper wish this is what I wish for only given one piece of
what I wish for only given one piece of
what I wish for only given one piece of paper though because you know they’ve
paper though because you know they’ve
paper though because you know they’ve kept two or three white piece of paper
kept two or three white piece of paper
kept two or three white piece of paper to write down everything that they want
to write down everything that they want
to write down everything that they want and while they’re at it draw it out you
and while they’re at it draw it out you
and while they’re at it draw it out you know the house with mom and dad and the
know the house with mom and dad and the
know the house with mom and dad and the trees and they’re holding hands and
trees and they’re holding hands and
trees and they’re holding hands and Sparky the dog that you don’t actually
Sparky the dog that you don’t actually
Sparky the dog that you don’t actually have right now but you will when you
have right now but you will when you
have right now but you will when you bite that house and once they have
bite that house and once they have
bite that house and once they have finished with that masterpiece I want
finished with that masterpiece I want
finished with that masterpiece I want you to put it in the favorite spot in
you to put it in the favorite spot in
you to put it in the favorite spot in the whole house that they love to
the whole house that they love to
the whole house that they love to explore ten or fifteen times a day the
explore ten or fifteen times a day the
explore ten or fifteen times a day the refrigerator oh my god it’s like as if
refrigerator oh my god it’s like as if
refrigerator oh my god it’s like as if they’ve never seen the inside of the
they’ve never seen the inside of the
they’ve never seen the inside of the refrigerator after the 15th time put it
refrigerator after the 15th time put it
refrigerator after the 15th time put it right there on the refrigerator so every
right there on the refrigerator so every
right there on the refrigerator so every time they open it they’re constantly
time they open it they’re constantly
time they open it they’re constantly reminded of the bigger picture it’s not
reminded of the bigger picture it’s not
reminded of the bigger picture it’s not a toy it’s not a piece of candy it’s the
a toy it’s not a piece of candy it’s the
a toy it’s not a piece of candy it’s the house that we’re striving for and if
house that we’re striving for and if
house that we’re striving for and if they need a reminder because you know
they need a reminder because you know
they need a reminder because you know you’re gonna have to have that
you’re gonna have to have that
you’re gonna have to have that conversation in the car again about
conversation in the car again about
conversation in the car again about acting up in the store put a copy or one
acting up in the store put a copy or one
acting up in the store put a copy or one of the wish list or the picture in the
of the wish list or the picture in the
of the wish list or the picture in the car put it right on the dashboard right
car put it right on the dashboard right
car put it right on the dashboard right there so that when you get into the car
there so that when you get into the car
there so that when you get into the car you won’t have to really necessarily
you won’t have to really necessarily
you won’t have to really necessarily adjust the rearview mirror or unsnap
adjust the rearview mirror or unsnap
adjust the rearview mirror or unsnap your seat belt and make that awkward
your seat belt and make that awkward
your seat belt and make that awkward move you could just say hey hey hey
move you could just say hey hey hey
move you could just say hey hey hey listen up and point to it because
listen up and point to it because
listen up and point to it because they’ll know every time they get out of
they’ll know every time they get out of
they’ll know every time they get out of the car they’re not gonna necessarily
the car they’re not gonna necessarily
the car they’re not gonna necessarily whine and cry about that toy that they
whine and cry about that toy that they
whine and cry about that toy that they have to have they know that we have
have to have they know that we have
have to have they know that we have something that we’re really striving for
something that we’re really striving for
something that we’re really striving for we’re trying to buy a house so maybe I
we’re trying to buy a house so maybe I
we’re trying to buy a house so maybe I don’t need to get that toy this time and
don’t need to get that toy this time and
don’t need to get that toy this time and while you’re out driving around looking
while you’re out driving around looking
while you’re out driving around looking or thinking about the different
or thinking about the different
or thinking about the different neighborhoods that you’d like to explore
neighborhoods that you’d like to explore
neighborhoods that you’d like to explore take the kids with you sometimes they
take the kids with you sometimes they
take the kids with you sometimes they see things
see things
see things that we’re not necessarily looking at
that we’re not necessarily looking at
that we’re not necessarily looking at because you know we’re looking at the
because you know we’re looking at the
because you know we’re looking at the nice manicured lawns and we’re looking
nice manicured lawns and we’re looking
nice manicured lawns and we’re looking how people are keeping up their houses
how people are keeping up their houses
how people are keeping up their houses and the kids are looking for swing sets
and the kids are looking for swing sets
and the kids are looking for swing sets and they’re looking for basketball hoops
and they’re looking for basketball hoops
and they’re looking for basketball hoops and other bicycles in the neighborhood
and other bicycles in the neighborhood
and other bicycles in the neighborhood because they’re looking for other kids
because they’re looking for other kids
because they’re looking for other kids and we’re looking for that too so much
and we’re looking for that too so much
and we’re looking for that too so much but you know because we’ve been watching
but you know because we’ve been watching
but you know because we’ve been watching so much of those home-improvement stores
so much of those home-improvement stores
so much of those home-improvement stores all right it shows and and you know
all right it shows and and you know
all right it shows and and you know we’re thinking well when I get into the
we’re thinking well when I get into the
we’re thinking well when I get into the house I want the granite tops and I want
house I want the granite tops and I want
house I want the granite tops and I want the hardwood floors and I want
the hardwood floors and I want
the hardwood floors and I want open-concept exposed brick
open-concept exposed brick
open-concept exposed brick whatever that is you know we have we
whatever that is you know we have we
whatever that is you know we have we have our dreams and our wishes – the
have our dreams and our wishes – the
have our dreams and our wishes – the kids have them just as much so we
kids have them just as much so we
kids have them just as much so we definitely want them to share in that
definitely want them to share in that
definitely want them to share in that experience and while you’re going
experience and while you’re going
experience and while you’re going through all these different
through all these different
through all these different neighborhoods they’re formulating
neighborhoods they’re formulating
neighborhoods they’re formulating memories of experiencing this with their
memories of experiencing this with their
memories of experiencing this with their family it isn’t often times that they
family it isn’t often times that they
family it isn’t often times that they can make adult decisions but they have
can make adult decisions but they have
can make adult decisions but they have some say so into this memories that will
some say so into this memories that will
some say so into this memories that will stay with them a lifetime I have two
stay with them a lifetime I have two
stay with them a lifetime I have two wonderful memories of my childhood they
wonderful memories of my childhood they
wonderful memories of my childhood they have stayed with me and made me who I am
have stayed with me and made me who I am
have stayed with me and made me who I am my very first is when I was only 6 years
my very first is when I was only 6 years
my very first is when I was only 6 years old my parents set me down and they said
old my parents set me down and they said
old my parents set me down and they said what do you think about having a brother
what do you think about having a brother
what do you think about having a brother or sister I wasn’t sure exactly what I
or sister I wasn’t sure exactly what I
or sister I wasn’t sure exactly what I thought of 6 but I remember that I was
thought of 6 but I remember that I was
thought of 6 but I remember that I was an only child I pretty much got anything
an only child I pretty much got anything
an only child I pretty much got anything that I wanted and I didn’t have to share
that I wanted and I didn’t have to share
that I wanted and I didn’t have to share well within a few months I had a baby
well within a few months I had a baby
well within a few months I had a baby brother and within a few and within a
brother and within a few and within a
brother and within a few and within a few months I had a baby sister
few months I had a baby sister
few months I had a baby sister and then within another year I had
and then within another year I had
and then within another year I had another baby sister and I had three
another baby sister and I had three
another baby sister and I had three babies in various stages of diapers and
babies in various stages of diapers and
babies in various stages of diapers and bottles and next to my parents my
bottles and next to my parents my
bottles and next to my parents my husband and my children they are the
husband and my children they are the
husband and my children they are the best thing that ever
best thing that ever
best thing that ever happened to me because I never knew how
happened to me because I never knew how
happened to me because I never knew how lonely I was skip another time period
lonely I was skip another time period
lonely I was skip another time period my second favorite memory is when my
my second favorite memory is when my
my second favorite memory is when my parents that all of us down and said
parents that all of us down and said
parents that all of us down and said what do you think about us buying a
what do you think about us buying a
what do you think about us buying a house now this is something that isn’t
house now this is something that isn’t
house now this is something that isn’t shocking or special about our family but
shocking or special about our family but
shocking or special about our family but growing up in a military household we
growing up in a military household we
growing up in a military household we could always look forward to moving
could always look forward to moving
could always look forward to moving constantly every few years and always in
constantly every few years and always in
constantly every few years and always in somebody else’s house whether it was on
somebody else’s house whether it was on
somebody else’s house whether it was on the economy or whether it was base
the economy or whether it was base
the economy or whether it was base housing we knew we were going to be
housing we knew we were going to be
housing we knew we were going to be moving and that meant different schools
moving and that meant different schools
moving and that meant different schools meeting new friends it was challenging
meeting new friends it was challenging
meeting new friends it was challenging it was exhausting so when our parents
it was exhausting so when our parents
it was exhausting so when our parents said you’re gonna be by we’re gonna be
said you’re gonna be by we’re gonna be
said you’re gonna be by we’re gonna be getting a new house it was amazing
getting a new house it was amazing
getting a new house it was amazing because I knew I would want to get my
because I knew I would want to get my
because I knew I would want to get my own bedroom this time and we not only
own bedroom this time and we not only
own bedroom this time and we not only were told that we were going to be
were told that we were going to be
were told that we were going to be buying a house but we got to extreme we
buying a house but we got to extreme we
buying a house but we got to extreme we got to experience the process of buying
got to experience the process of buying
got to experience the process of buying the house because they took us with them
the house because they took us with them
the house because they took us with them to look at various houses and they
to look at various houses and they
to look at various houses and they purchased and 40 years later they’re
purchased and 40 years later they’re
purchased and 40 years later they’re still in that wonderful house where we
still in that wonderful house where we
still in that wonderful house where we share memories now with that tip number
share memories now with that tip number
share memories now with that tip number three Oh
tip number three so while you are
tip number three so while you are thinking about purchasing that home
thinking about purchasing that home
thinking about purchasing that home sometimes you’re gonna be using language
sometimes you’re gonna be using language
sometimes you’re gonna be using language that’s a little bit scary we’re gonna be
that’s a little bit scary we’re gonna be
that’s a little bit scary we’re gonna be paying down debts we’re gonna be
paying down debts we’re gonna be
paying down debts we’re gonna be budgeting we’re gonna be saving money
budgeting we’re gonna be saving money
budgeting we’re gonna be saving money and when you start saying those things
and when you start saying those things
and when you start saying those things it can be a little bit scary not just
it can be a little bit scary not just
it can be a little bit scary not just for the adults but for the kids because
for the adults but for the kids because
for the adults but for the kids because that means sacrificing so in this
that means sacrificing so in this
that means sacrificing so in this process we want to make it fun for the
process we want to make it fun for the
process we want to make it fun for the kids they love to be rewarded so if they
kids they love to be rewarded so if they
kids they love to be rewarded so if they can’t contribute monetarily to buy the
can’t contribute monetarily to buy the
can’t contribute monetarily to buy the house maybe they can contribute in good
house maybe they can contribute in good
house maybe they can contribute in good behavior and good grades for every A or
behavior and good grades for every A or
behavior and good grades for every A or B that they bring home from school him a
B that they bring home from school him a
B that they bring home from school him a star for every time that they do their
star for every time that they do their
star for every time that they do their chores on time and you don’t have to get
chores on time and you don’t have to get
chores on time and you don’t have to get after them constantly for doing their
after them constantly for doing their
after them constantly for doing their chores give the Stars and stickers for
chores give the Stars and stickers for
chores give the Stars and stickers for every time that they woke up and they
every time that they woke up and they
every time that they woke up and they didn’t miss the school bus again
didn’t miss the school bus again
didn’t miss the school bus again give you stickers of course
give you stickers of course
give you stickers of course age-appropriate but it’s the thought
age-appropriate but it’s the thought
age-appropriate but it’s the thought that they are contributing to this whole
that they are contributing to this whole
that they are contributing to this whole process and they’re getting rewarded you
process and they’re getting rewarded you
process and they’re getting rewarded you can use maybe the one less law are the
can use maybe the one less law are the
can use maybe the one less law are the one less rule sometimes as a family we
one less rule sometimes as a family we
one less rule sometimes as a family we like to eat out four or five times a
like to eat out four or five times a
like to eat out four or five times a month and if you say well we’re going to
month and if you say well we’re going to
month and if you say well we’re going to have to cut back and we’re gonna have to
have to cut back and we’re gonna have to
have to cut back and we’re gonna have to cut eliminate sometimes saying
cut eliminate sometimes saying
cut eliminate sometimes saying eliminating and cutting back is awful so
eliminating and cutting back is awful so
eliminating and cutting back is awful so well if we just eliminate one outing per
well if we just eliminate one outing per
well if we just eliminate one outing per month that could be $50 per month if you
month that could be $50 per month if you
month that could be $50 per month if you did that every month over a year that
did that every month over a year that
did that every month over a year that could be $600 that they could save and
could be $600 that they could save and
could be $600 that they could save and not having to necessarily give up
not having to necessarily give up
not having to necessarily give up something but just cut back there’s all
something but just cut back there’s all
something but just cut back there’s all kinds of ways that we can help the
kinds of ways that we can help the
kinds of ways that we can help the family and the kids can help the family
family and the kids can help the family
family and the kids can help the family and what does this do for the family if
and what does this do for the family if
and what does this do for the family if they’re able to purchase
they’re able to purchase
they’re able to purchase well there is all kinds of studies and
well there is all kinds of studies and
well there is all kinds of studies and we’ve heard this today about how the
we’ve heard this today about how the
we’ve heard this today about how the family dynamics can change sometimes
family dynamics can change sometimes
family dynamics can change sometimes when we are thinking about the next time
when we are thinking about the next time
when we are thinking about the next time that the lease is up and we’re having to
that the lease is up and we’re having to
that the lease is up and we’re having to possibly move or that the rent is going
possibly move or that the rent is going
possibly move or that the rent is going to increase because the lease is up
to increase because the lease is up
to increase because the lease is up better chances that if you’re in a home
better chances that if you’re in a home
better chances that if you’re in a home ownership or you’re owning your home you
ownership or you’re owning your home you
ownership or you’re owning your home you don’t have to have that risk it’s just
don’t have to have that risk it’s just
don’t have to have that risk it’s just the children’s grades get better you
the children’s grades get better you
the children’s grades get better you have a better rapport with the teacher
have a better rapport with the teacher
have a better rapport with the teacher the children have a better rapport with
the children have a better rapport with
the children have a better rapport with the kids in the neighborhood because
the kids in the neighborhood because
the kids in the neighborhood because they’re not constantly moving it’s a
they’re not constantly moving it’s a
they’re not constantly moving it’s a wonderful feeling to know that you have
wonderful feeling to know that you have
wonderful feeling to know that you have Ruth now in that community there is a
Ruth now in that community there is a
Ruth now in that community there is a saying that I found several years ago
saying that I found several years ago
saying that I found several years ago it’s a quote it’s only nine words but it
it’s a quote it’s only nine words but it
it’s a quote it’s only nine words but it is as relevant today as when I found it
is as relevant today as when I found it
is as relevant today as when I found it years ago and I memorized it it is on my
years ago and I memorized it it is on my
years ago and I memorized it it is on my computer and I look at it every day a
goal without a plan is just a wish
goal without a plan is just a wish less plan to set goals so that all your
less plan to set goals so that all your
less plan to set goals so that all your wishes come true
”
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