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From a Refugee to PhD | Dina Radeljas | TEDxUtica


if Dallas could talk I was born in 1993

if Dallas could talk I was born in 1993 but dreaded and at the year a year full

but dreaded and at the year a year full

but dreaded and at the year a year full of loss and pain that is my birth year I

of loss and pain that is my birth year I

of loss and pain that is my birth year I was born as a result of love that exists

was born as a result of love that exists

was born as a result of love that exists a love between Ann and her niece which

a love between Ann and her niece which

a love between Ann and her niece which made my existence full of peace full of

made my existence full of peace full of

made my existence full of peace full of peace during these that the years my new

peace during these that the years my new

peace during these that the years my new home is in the hands of a ten year old

home is in the hands of a ten year old

home is in the hands of a ten year old Bosnian refugee that ten year old

Bosnian refugee that ten year old

Bosnian refugee that ten year old refugee was me

refugee was me

refugee was me allow me to tell you my story in ten

allow me to tell you my story in ten

allow me to tell you my story in ten minutes

minutes

minutes allow it allow me to tell you the story

allow it allow me to tell you the story

allow it allow me to tell you the story of Bosnia the land of pristine rivers

of Bosnia the land of pristine rivers

of Bosnia the land of pristine rivers beautiful absolutely beautiful mountains

beautiful absolutely beautiful mountains

beautiful absolutely beautiful mountains the land of rich customs and trust me

the land of rich customs and trust me

the land of rich customs and trust me when I tell you incredibly delicious

when I tell you incredibly delicious

when I tell you incredibly delicious food but also to many of us from Bosnia

food but also to many of us from Bosnia

food but also to many of us from Bosnia unfortunately the land of blood and pain

unfortunately the land of blood and pain

unfortunately the land of blood and pain my journey starts in the early 1980s

my journey starts in the early 1980s

my journey starts in the early 1980s when I was born in a small city in

when I was born in a small city in

when I was born in a small city in central Bosnia my life before war it was

central Bosnia my life before war it was

central Bosnia my life before war it was simple it was beautiful it was safe and

simple it was beautiful it was safe and

simple it was beautiful it was safe and predictable just like many many

predictable just like many many

predictable just like many many childhoods around the globe

childhoods around the globe

childhoods around the globe my experiences and and and my memories

my experiences and and and my memories

my experiences and and and my memories were filled with positive birthdays and

were filled with positive birthdays and

were filled with positive birthdays and and holidays and family gatherings as a

and holidays and family gatherings as a

and holidays and family gatherings as a little child I too had dreams many many

little child I too had dreams many many

little child I too had dreams many many dreams amongst many things that war has

dreams amongst many things that war has

dreams amongst many things that war has taken away from me it has taken away

taken away from me it has taken away

taken away from me it has taken away many of my dreams I remember sitting in

many of my dreams I remember sitting in

many of my dreams I remember sitting in school in 2nd grade before war started

school in 2nd grade before war started

school in 2nd grade before war started in Bosnia and thinking I loved being in

in Bosnia and thinking I loved being in

in Bosnia and thinking I loved being in school I loved learning that day our

school I loved learning that day our

school I loved learning that day our teacher sent us back home

teacher sent us back home

teacher sent us back home because it was not safe to stay in

because it was not safe to stay in

because it was not safe to stay in school we could hear grenades in the

school we could hear grenades in the

school we could hear grenades in the nearby distance I look I did not know at

nearby distance I look I did not know at

nearby distance I look I did not know at the time that this would be the last

the time that this would be the last

the time that this would be the last time that I would share space with those

time that I would share space with those

time that I would share space with those very people and that I would share space

very people and that I would share space

very people and that I would share space with that very teacher my family left

with that very teacher my family left

with that very teacher my family left abruptly that several days after that

abruptly that several days after that

abruptly that several days after that and we escaped to a nearby country our

and we escaped to a nearby country our

and we escaped to a nearby country our a country called Croatia this was the

a country called Croatia this was the

a country called Croatia this was the first time that we called ourselves

first time that we called ourselves

first time that we called ourselves refugees this was the first time that we

refugees this was the first time that we

refugees this was the first time that we knew or felt what it was like to be a

knew or felt what it was like to be a

knew or felt what it was like to be a refugee we had nothing absolutely

refugee we had nothing absolutely

refugee we had nothing absolutely nothing but we had each other

nothing but we had each other

nothing but we had each other we had safety which is what most people

we had safety which is what most people

we had safety which is what most people back home in Bosnia didn’t have life in

back home in Bosnia didn’t have life in

back home in Bosnia didn’t have life in Croatia was hard to say the least but at

Croatia was hard to say the least but at

Croatia was hard to say the least but at least there was some sense of

least there was some sense of

least there was some sense of familiarity because Croatia shares a lot

familiarity because Croatia shares a lot

familiarity because Croatia shares a lot of its customs and foods with Bosnia so

of its customs and foods with Bosnia so

of its customs and foods with Bosnia so at least there was that sense of

at least there was that sense of

at least there was that sense of similarity we were in Croatia for about

similarity we were in Croatia for about

similarity we were in Croatia for about eight months and during this time many

eight months and during this time many

eight months and during this time many different things happened

different things happened

different things happened amongst one of the things that I want to

amongst one of the things that I want to

amongst one of the things that I want to share with you is that during this time

share with you is that during this time

share with you is that during this time my aunt who was still in Bosnia at the

my aunt who was still in Bosnia at the

my aunt who was still in Bosnia at the time had managed to smuggle my doll with

time had managed to smuggle my doll with

time had managed to smuggle my doll with a convoy of refugees that came to

a convoy of refugees that came to

a convoy of refugees that came to Croatia I remember the day that this

Croatia I remember the day that this

Croatia I remember the day that this doll arrived to me I remember thinking

doll arrived to me I remember thinking

doll arrived to me I remember thinking this is the only normal piece of

this is the only normal piece of

this is the only normal piece of childhood that I have left at that time

childhood that I have left at that time

childhood that I have left at that time this was the only toy that I had my

this was the only toy that I had my

this was the only toy that I had my family once again had to leave as we

family once again had to leave as we

family once again had to leave as we were given 24 hours to evacuate to

were given 24 hours to evacuate to

were given 24 hours to evacuate to literally leave Croatia as conflict

literally leave Croatia as conflict

literally leave Croatia as conflict arose between Bosnian and Croatian

arose between Bosnian and Croatian

arose between Bosnian and Croatian government at that time we were

government at that time we were

government at that time we were literally loaded onto buses to go to a

literally loaded onto buses to go to a

literally loaded onto buses to go to a land that I always say so faraway land

land that I always say so faraway land

land that I always say so faraway land called Pakistan I remember being at the

called Pakistan I remember being at the

called Pakistan I remember being at the buses with my mom and dad and my brother

buses with my mom and dad and my brother

buses with my mom and dad and my brother and just feeling a sense a sense of fear

and just feeling a sense a sense of fear

and just feeling a sense a sense of fear uncertainty we were we did not know what

uncertainty we were we did not know what

uncertainty we were we did not know what to expect we didn’t know we were going

to expect we didn’t know we were going

to expect we didn’t know we were going but again we had each other and we were

but again we had each other and we were

but again we had each other and we were safe we arrived at the airport where the

safe we arrived at the airport where the

safe we arrived at the airport where the crowd was even larger people were even

crowd was even larger people were even

crowd was even larger people were even more afraid children were screaming they

more afraid children were screaming they

more afraid children were screaming they were running people didn’t know what to

were running people didn’t know what to

were running people didn’t know what to expect

expect

expect they put us on an airplane there was

they put us on an airplane there was

they put us on an airplane there was three hundred and seventy five of us on

three hundred and seventy five of us on

three hundred and seventy five of us on a plane that probably carries 200 people

a plane that probably carries 200 people

a plane that probably carries 200 people as you can imagine people were sitting

as you can imagine people were sitting

as you can imagine people were sitting on each other’s laps

on each other’s laps

on each other’s laps again children was crying mothers were

again children was crying mothers were

again children was crying mothers were crying but and fathers were crying

crying but and fathers were crying

crying but and fathers were crying because they didn’t know where and what

because they didn’t know where and what

because they didn’t know where and what was awaiting them and we took off to

was awaiting them and we took off to

was awaiting them and we took off to Pakistan where is Pakistan when we

Pakistan where is Pakistan when we

Pakistan where is Pakistan when we landed in Pakistan the first thing and

landed in Pakistan the first thing and

landed in Pakistan the first thing and the thing that I remember best is the

the thing that I remember best is the

the thing that I remember best is the heat it was March and it was already 90

heat it was March and it was already 90

heat it was March and it was already 90 degrees there were so many people at the

degrees there were so many people at the

degrees there were so many people at the airport there was representatives from

airport there was representatives from

airport there was representatives from the bosnian embassy waiting there for us

the bosnian embassy waiting there for us

the bosnian embassy waiting there for us to take us to a refugee camp as we

to take us to a refugee camp as we

to take us to a refugee camp as we loaded the buses once again we headed to

loaded the buses once again we headed to

loaded the buses once again we headed to a small city town that that is where our

a small city town that that is where our

a small city town that that is where our refugee camp was situated experiences in

refugee camp was situated experiences in

refugee camp was situated experiences in Pakistan oh my goodness to put it in

Pakistan oh my goodness to put it in

Pakistan oh my goodness to put it in perspective and in ten minutes I can’t

perspective and in ten minutes I can’t

perspective and in ten minutes I can’t even begin to do that there when we

even begin to do that there when we

even begin to do that there when we arrived we didn’t know what to expect we

arrived we didn’t know what to expect we

arrived we didn’t know what to expect we were placed in a room that is about half

were placed in a room that is about half

were placed in a room that is about half of the size of this theatre there was

of the size of this theatre there was

of the size of this theatre there was four other families in this room we were

four other families in this room we were

four other families in this room we were placed there to sleep and eat this was

placed there to sleep and eat this was

placed there to sleep and eat this was our new home with literally nothing but

our new home with literally nothing but

our new home with literally nothing but again we had each other and we had

again we had each other and we had

again we had each other and we had safety which is much more than people in

safety which is much more than people in

safety which is much more than people in Bosnia had at that time we were

Bosnia had at that time we were

Bosnia had at that time we were surrounded by walls so we couldn’t

surrounded by walls so we couldn’t

surrounded by walls so we couldn’t really move in and move in and out every

really move in and move in and out every

really move in and move in and out every time we wanted to leave the camp we had

time we wanted to leave the camp we had

time we wanted to leave the camp we had to be accompanied by police escort but

to be accompanied by police escort but

to be accompanied by police escort but we had I went to school I learned

we had I went to school I learned

we had I went to school I learned English again I had some sort of

English again I had some sort of

English again I had some sort of normalcy some sort of normal childhood

normalcy some sort of normal childhood

normalcy some sort of normal childhood which is much more than Bosnia the Kint

which is much more than Bosnia the Kint

which is much more than Bosnia the Kint dead kids in Bosnia had during my time

dead kids in Bosnia had during my time

dead kids in Bosnia had during my time in Pakistan there’s many positive things

in Pakistan there’s many positive things

in Pakistan there’s many positive things that I can share with you and many

that I can share with you and many

that I can share with you and many negative things the one that I wanted

negative things the one that I wanted

negative things the one that I wanted that I chose to share with you is the

that I chose to share with you is the

that I chose to share with you is the one that inspired me the most during

one that inspired me the most during

one that inspired me the most during this time I met my first American

this time I met my first American

this time I met my first American scholar a woman by the name of Julie she

scholar a woman by the name of Julie she

scholar a woman by the name of Julie she had arrived to Pakistan with a couple of

had arrived to Pakistan with a couple of

had arrived to Pakistan with a couple of other people to collect information on

other people to collect information on

other people to collect information on Bosnian refugees she was writing a book

Bosnian refugees she was writing a book

Bosnian refugees she was writing a book on experiences of Bosnian refugees in

on experiences of Bosnian refugees in

on experiences of Bosnian refugees in Pakistan this picture that’s behind me

Pakistan this picture that’s behind me

Pakistan this picture that’s behind me was actually taken by Julie that’s a

was actually taken by Julie that’s a

was actually taken by Julie that’s a picture of my family

picture of my family

picture of my family and some of their friends she was I

and some of their friends she was I

and some of their friends she was I remember as a little girl sitting next

remember as a little girl sitting next

remember as a little girl sitting next to her and thinking to be so powerful to

to her and thinking to be so powerful to

to her and thinking to be so powerful to be so educated and to care so much about

be so educated and to care so much about

be so educated and to care so much about people who often feel like they have no

people who often feel like they have no

people who often feel like they have no voice because to be a refugee you can’t

voice because to be a refugee you can’t

voice because to be a refugee you can’t imagine that such negative things can

imagine that such negative things can

imagine that such negative things can take place on this planet and you can’t

take place on this planet and you can’t

take place on this planet and you can’t wrap your head around the fact that it’s

wrap your head around the fact that it’s

wrap your head around the fact that it’s happening and the world is not doing

happening and the world is not doing

happening and the world is not doing anything about it that’s what it feels

anything about it that’s what it feels

anything about it that’s what it feels like and that’s when I said to myself I

like and that’s when I said to myself I

like and that’s when I said to myself I too want to be like Julie I too want to

too want to be like Julie I too want to

too want to be like Julie I too want to get an education I too want to be able

get an education I too want to be able

get an education I too want to be able to give a voice to those who feel like

to give a voice to those who feel like

to give a voice to those who feel like they have lost it to those who feel like

they have lost it to those who feel like

they have lost it to those who feel like something or somebody has taken it away

something or somebody has taken it away

something or somebody has taken it away from them little did I know at the time

from them little did I know at the time

from them little did I know at the time that I would end up in the United States

that I would end up in the United States

that I would end up in the United States of America my family had many other

of America my family had many other

of America my family had many other options in terms of relocation we could

options in terms of relocation we could

options in terms of relocation we could have gone to Germany we could have gone

have gone to Germany we could have gone

have gone to Germany we could have gone to Canada my family thought there would

to Canada my family thought there would

to Canada my family thought there would be best for us to be in the United

be best for us to be in the United

be best for us to be in the United States in terms of opportunities we also

States in terms of opportunities we also

States in terms of opportunities we also already had family here so that helped

already had family here so that helped

already had family here so that helped with our relocation process my family

with our relocation process my family

with our relocation process my family arrived here in 1995 so we have been

arrived here in 1995 so we have been

arrived here in 1995 so we have been here for 22 years and it has not been an

here for 22 years and it has not been an

here for 22 years and it has not been an easy road just like many refugees and

easy road just like many refugees and

easy road just like many refugees and immigrants we to face our daily

immigrants we to face our daily

immigrants we to face our daily challenges I was once again faced with a

challenges I was once again faced with a

challenges I was once again faced with a new education system yet another school

new education system yet another school

new education system yet another school yet another continent language was a

yet another continent language was a

yet another continent language was a barrier learning the system was a

barrier learning the system was a

barrier learning the system was a barrier everything was a barrier but

barrier everything was a barrier but

barrier everything was a barrier but again I have a desk I had a book I could

again I have a desk I had a book I could

again I have a desk I had a book I could go to school which is more than we can

go to school which is more than we can

go to school which is more than we can say for so many kids back home in Bosnia

say for so many kids back home in Bosnia

say for so many kids back home in Bosnia or even anywhere else around the world

or even anywhere else around the world

or even anywhere else around the world so living in the United States has not

so living in the United States has not

so living in the United States has not been easy but I have managed like many

been easy but I have managed like many

been easy but I have managed like many other refugees and immigrants to

other refugees and immigrants to

other refugees and immigrants to accomplish quite a bit in 2007 I married

accomplish quite a bit in 2007 I married

accomplish quite a bit in 2007 I married the love of my life

the love of my life

the love of my life please somewhere in here

please somewhere in here

please somewhere in here and in 2014 I conferred my doctoral

and in 2014 I conferred my doctoral

and in 2014 I conferred my doctoral degree in psychology this was a big deal

degree in psychology this was a big deal

degree in psychology this was a big deal [Applause]

thank you thank you so much this is a

thank you thank you so much this is a big deal for me obviously and for my

big deal for me obviously and for my

big deal for me obviously and for my family this gives me a formal voice to

family this gives me a formal voice to

family this gives me a formal voice to give to those who don’t have one or feel

give to those who don’t have one or feel

give to those who don’t have one or feel that they don’t have one this gives me

that they don’t have one this gives me

that they don’t have one this gives me the power to research and this gives me

the power to research and this gives me

the power to research and this gives me the power to share and spread knowledge

the power to share and spread knowledge

the power to share and spread knowledge on in areas that are often forgotten so

on in areas that are often forgotten so

on in areas that are often forgotten so this meant a lot to me and continues to

this meant a lot to me and continues to

this meant a lot to me and continues to mean a lot to me and to my family then

mean a lot to me and to my family then

mean a lot to me and to my family then in 2015 I became a mother to a beautiful

in 2015 I became a mother to a beautiful

in 2015 I became a mother to a beautiful baby girl who is now the owner of my

baby girl who is now the owner of my

baby girl who is now the owner of my doll to her it’s a boy to me was a girl

doll to her it’s a boy to me was a girl

doll to her it’s a boy to me was a girl and through this journey I hope to teach

and through this journey I hope to teach

and through this journey I hope to teach my daughter things that war has taught

my daughter things that war has taught

my daughter things that war has taught me amongst many things they have lost I

me amongst many things they have lost I

me amongst many things they have lost I have also learned a couple of things to

have also learned a couple of things to

have also learned a couple of things to say the least it has made me who I am it

say the least it has made me who I am it

say the least it has made me who I am it has learned it has taught me how to love

has learned it has taught me how to love

has learned it has taught me how to love it’s taught me how to hate it’s taught

it’s taught me how to hate it’s taught

it’s taught me how to hate it’s taught me to appreciate and most importantly

me to appreciate and most importantly

me to appreciate and most importantly and what I hope to leave with you

and what I hope to leave with you

and what I hope to leave with you tonight here it has taught me to inspire

tonight here it has taught me to inspire

tonight here it has taught me to inspire it has taught me that you never know who

it has taught me that you never know who

it has taught me that you never know who you’re gonna inspire you never know

you’re gonna inspire you never know

you’re gonna inspire you never know whose day you’re gonna change by giving

whose day you’re gonna change by giving

whose day you’re gonna change by giving them just as something as simple as a

them just as something as simple as a

them just as something as simple as a smile Julie did this for me

smile Julie did this for me

smile Julie did this for me 20 years ago thank you so much

20 years ago thank you so much

20 years ago thank you so much [Applause]

”

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