this is the University of North Carolina and it’s an amazing place I know this
and it’s an amazing place I know this
and it’s an amazing place I know this because I spent seven years of my life
because I spent seven years of my life
because I spent seven years of my life working here I remember when I first got
working here I remember when I first got
working here I remember when I first got on campus and I was walking around and I
on campus and I was walking around and I
on campus and I was walking around and I was just admiring these just gorgeous
was just admiring these just gorgeous
was just admiring these just gorgeous brick buildings these massive trees and
brick buildings these massive trees and
brick buildings these massive trees and just experiencing the energy and I felt
just experiencing the energy and I felt
just experiencing the energy and I felt like I need to pinch myself because I
like I need to pinch myself because I
like I need to pinch myself because I had landed my dream job at the age of 28
had landed my dream job at the age of 28
had landed my dream job at the age of 28 but it came with the cost you see when
but it came with the cost you see when
but it came with the cost you see when you’re a tenure line professor at one of
you’re a tenure line professor at one of
you’re a tenure line professor at one of the top universities in the United
the top universities in the United
the top universities in the United States
States
States it comes with an intensive tenure review
it comes with an intensive tenure review
it comes with an intensive tenure review process and essentially what that means
process and essentially what that means
process and essentially what that means is this a bunch of people many of whom
is this a bunch of people many of whom
is this a bunch of people many of whom you’ve never met evaluate your materials
you’ve never met evaluate your materials
you’ve never met evaluate your materials and they decide whether or not you’re
and they decide whether or not you’re
and they decide whether or not you’re good enough to be at the University well
good enough to be at the University well
good enough to be at the University well after six years my materials went up and
after six years my materials went up and
after six years my materials went up and they decided that I wasn’t good enough I
they decided that I wasn’t good enough I
they decided that I wasn’t good enough I had lost my dream job at the age of 34 I
had lost my dream job at the age of 34 I
had lost my dream job at the age of 34 I remember when I first found out about
remember when I first found out about
remember when I first found out about this decision I was walking from my
this decision I was walking from my
this decision I was walking from my boss’s office and the first thing I felt
boss’s office and the first thing I felt
boss’s office and the first thing I felt was this I felt confused because while
was this I felt confused because while
was this I felt confused because while you always hear these horror stories
you always hear these horror stories
you always hear these horror stories about tenure you never imagined they’re
about tenure you never imagined they’re
about tenure you never imagined they’re gonna happen to you and then as I
gonna happen to you and then as I
gonna happen to you and then as I thought about it more and more I became
thought about it more and more I became
thought about it more and more I became angry and frustrated because I felt like
angry and frustrated because I felt like
angry and frustrated because I felt like I had done everything they asked me to
I had done everything they asked me to
I had done everything they asked me to and more and I had ended up losing my
and more and I had ended up losing my
and more and I had ended up losing my job and I finally settled upon an
job and I finally settled upon an
job and I finally settled upon an emotion that was far worse than the
emotion that was far worse than the
emotion that was far worse than the others
others
others shame I have to admit I’m not sure I
shame I have to admit I’m not sure I
shame I have to admit I’m not sure I knew what shame meant before this talk
knew what shame meant before this talk
knew what shame meant before this talk but when I was getting ready I watched
but when I was getting ready I watched
but when I was getting ready I watched Bernie Brown’s the power of
Bernie Brown’s the power of
Bernie Brown’s the power of vulnerability talked and she defined
vulnerability talked and she defined
vulnerability talked and she defined shame as this the feeling that you get
shame as this the feeling that you get
shame as this the feeling that you get of not being enough when you’re
of not being enough when you’re
of not being enough when you’re disconnected from a group and that’s
disconnected from a group and that’s
disconnected from a group and that’s exactly how I felt I remember walking in
exactly how I felt I remember walking in
exactly how I felt I remember walking in to teach my grad students and I remember
to teach my grad students and I remember
to teach my grad students and I remember being embarrassed because I knew that
being embarrassed because I knew that
being embarrassed because I knew that they knew that I had been fired and it
they knew that I had been fired and it
they knew that I had been fired and it was the same with my colleagues and it
was the same with my colleagues and it
was the same with my colleagues and it was the moment in my professional career
was the moment in my professional career
was the moment in my professional career but I want to change direction and I
but I want to change direction and I
but I want to change direction and I want to change direction by doing this
want to change direction by doing this
want to change direction by doing this asking a question and that question is
asking a question and that question is
asking a question and that question is this what if the situation I just
this what if the situation I just
this what if the situation I just described to you wasn’t at all how I
described to you wasn’t at all how I
described to you wasn’t at all how I just described it and listen I’m not
just described it and listen I’m not
just described it and listen I’m not saying that I lied to you because I
saying that I lied to you because I
saying that I lied to you because I absolutely got fired from the University
absolutely got fired from the University
absolutely got fired from the University of North Carolina and those were the
of North Carolina and those were the
of North Carolina and those were the exact emotions that I felt instead what
exact emotions that I felt instead what
exact emotions that I felt instead what I’m proposing is this that I could have
I’m proposing is this that I could have
I’m proposing is this that I could have seen the situation in an entirely
seen the situation in an entirely
seen the situation in an entirely different way and avoided those in the
different way and avoided those in the
different way and avoided those in the altogether so the question becomes this
altogether so the question becomes this
altogether so the question becomes this then what if I or you could take any
then what if I or you could take any
then what if I or you could take any negative situation that we’re facing and
negative situation that we’re facing and
negative situation that we’re facing and by shifting the way that we see it use
by shifting the way that we see it use
by shifting the way that we see it use it to go out and to spark our potential
it to go out and to spark our potential
it to go out and to spark our potential to achieve something truly extraordinary
to achieve something truly extraordinary
to achieve something truly extraordinary I now realize that this is totally
I now realize that this is totally
I now realize that this is totally possible and what I want to share with
possible and what I want to share with
possible and what I want to share with you today is this I want to share with
you today is this I want to share with
you today is this I want to share with you three steps that you can use to do
you three steps that you can use to do
you three steps that you can use to do this and what those are is choice
this and what those are is choice
this and what those are is choice perspective and gift now you might be
perspective and gift now you might be
perspective and gift now you might be asking yourself how do you know that
asking yourself how do you know that
asking yourself how do you know that these things work and I can tell you
these things work and I can tell you
these things work and I can tell you that this is the reason why because
that this is the reason why because
that this is the reason why because these were the exact progressions that I
these were the exact progressions that I
these were the exact progressions that I learned about when I was going through
learned about when I was going through
learned about when I was going through this ten-year situation that allowed me
this ten-year situation that allowed me
this ten-year situation that allowed me to go out and to spark my potential so I
to go out and to spark my potential so I
to go out and to spark my potential so I was able to go out and arrive at a point
was able to go out and arrive at a point
was able to go out and arrive at a point in my career in life that I absolutely
in my career in life that I absolutely
in my career in life that I absolutely loved they also happen to be founded
loved they also happen to be founded
loved they also happen to be founded upon these just extraordinary human
upon these just extraordinary human
upon these just extraordinary human beings who have faced these just crazy
beings who have faced these just crazy
beings who have faced these just crazy challenges and used those to go out and
challenges and used those to go out and
challenges and used those to go out and achieve these amazing things and so what
achieve these amazing things and so what
achieve these amazing things and so what I’d like to do is share with you the
I’d like to do is share with you the
I’d like to do is share with you the first one and what it is is this is
first one and what it is is this is
first one and what it is is this is choice this person who spun the screen’s
choice this person who spun the screen’s
choice this person who spun the screen’s name is Viktor Frankl
name is Viktor Frankl
name is Viktor Frankl in Viktor Frankl is an author and
in Viktor Frankl is an author and
in Viktor Frankl is an author and psychiatrist and the one thing that I
psychiatrist and the one thing that I
psychiatrist and the one thing that I did every single day after this
did every single day after this
did every single day after this situation when I was experiencing these
situation when I was experiencing these
situation when I was experiencing these emotions is I would get up at 5 a.m.
emotions is I would get up at 5 a.m.
emotions is I would get up at 5 a.m. every single morning and I would read I
every single morning and I would read I
every single morning and I would read I would try to point my brain toward
would try to point my brain toward
would try to point my brain toward something good in one morning I was
something good in one morning I was
something good in one morning I was reading his book man’s search for
reading his book man’s search for
reading his book man’s search for meaning and I came upon this thought
meaning and I came upon this thought
meaning and I came upon this thought that drastically changed the way not
that drastically changed the way not
that drastically changed the way not only the way I saw the situation but
only the way I saw the situation but
only the way I saw the situation but that I way that I saw the world and what
that I way that I saw the world and what
that I way that I saw the world and what it was is this he says everything can be
it was is this he says everything can be
it was is this he says everything can be taken from a human being except for the
taken from a human being except for the
taken from a human being except for the last of the human freedoms and what that
last of the human freedoms and what that
last of the human freedoms and what that is is the ability to always choose your
is is the ability to always choose your
is is the ability to always choose your response to any given set of
response to any given set of
response to any given set of circumstances don’t matter what to
circumstances don’t matter what to
circumstances don’t matter what to always be able to choose your way now I
always be able to choose your way now I
always be able to choose your way now I know what you might be thinking you
know what you might be thinking you
know what you might be thinking you might be saying that sounds great in
might be saying that sounds great in
might be saying that sounds great in theory but I’ve got real problems it’s
theory but I’ve got real problems it’s
theory but I’ve got real problems it’s possible that you have a sick kid at
possible that you have a sick kid at
possible that you have a sick kid at home and you haven’t slept for a week
home and you haven’t slept for a week
home and you haven’t slept for a week straight or you’re having financial or
straight or you’re having financial or
straight or you’re having financial or marital problems and you don’t know how
marital problems and you don’t know how
marital problems and you don’t know how you’re gonna get through that or maybe
you’re gonna get through that or maybe
you’re gonna get through that or maybe you lost somebody in your life and
you lost somebody in your life and
you lost somebody in your life and that’s caused you a lot of pain and I’m
that’s caused you a lot of pain and I’m
that’s caused you a lot of pain and I’m not saying that those aren’t real
not saying that those aren’t real
not saying that those aren’t real problems what I’m saying is this before
problems what I’m saying is this before
problems what I’m saying is this before you dismiss this I want to give you
you dismiss this I want to give you
you dismiss this I want to give you context because I think it changes
context because I think it changes
context because I think it changes everything you see Victor Franco
everything you see Victor Franco
everything you see Victor Franco wasn’t just an author and psychiatrist
wasn’t just an author and psychiatrist
wasn’t just an author and psychiatrist he was a concentration camp survivor and
he was a concentration camp survivor and
he was a concentration camp survivor and he and his entire family were placed
he and his entire family were placed
he and his entire family were placed into these camps into some of the worst
into these camps into some of the worst
into these camps into some of the worst possible living curse circumstances you
possible living curse circumstances you
possible living curse circumstances you could ever be in and one by one his
could ever be in and one by one his
could ever be in and one by one his brother his mom and his wife were
brother his mom and his wife were
brother his mom and his wife were murdered in these camps now I don’t know
murdered in these camps now I don’t know
murdered in these camps now I don’t know about you but if that happened to me I’m
about you but if that happened to me I’m
about you but if that happened to me I’m pretty sure I would have been focused on
pretty sure I would have been focused on
pretty sure I would have been focused on something like being angry or even irate
something like being angry or even irate
something like being angry or even irate I’m thinking I might even wanted to get
I’m thinking I might even wanted to get
I’m thinking I might even wanted to get revenge and yet in the middle of that he
revenge and yet in the middle of that he
revenge and yet in the middle of that he may have felt those same things but he
may have felt those same things but he
may have felt those same things but he instead decided to focus on this getting
instead decided to focus on this getting
instead decided to focus on this getting out of the camp because he believed that
out of the camp because he believed that
out of the camp because he believed that he could go out and he could teach
he could go out and he could teach
he could go out and he could teach people that you always have a choice no
people that you always have a choice no
people that you always have a choice no matter what in your life and that was
matter what in your life and that was
matter what in your life and that was the part when I realized that I had a
the part when I realized that I had a
the part when I realized that I had a choice I didn’t have to stand for the
choice I didn’t have to stand for the
choice I didn’t have to stand for the things that I was feeling and that moved
things that I was feeling and that moved
things that I was feeling and that moved me to step number two and what step
me to step number two and what step
me to step number two and what step number two is is perspective and what
number two is is perspective and what
number two is is perspective and what perspective has to do with is this when
perspective has to do with is this when
perspective has to do with is this when you were facing something negative in
you were facing something negative in
you were facing something negative in your life and you were focused on the
your life and you were focused on the
your life and you were focused on the negative there is always a different way
negative there is always a different way
negative there is always a different way to see it and if you can learn to point
to see it and if you can learn to point
to see it and if you can learn to point your brain towards the productive that
your brain towards the productive that
your brain towards the productive that is the gift that can change your entire
is the gift that can change your entire
is the gift that can change your entire life this is exactly what Viktor Frankl
life this is exactly what Viktor Frankl
life this is exactly what Viktor Frankl did in a situation where it was littered
did in a situation where it was littered
did in a situation where it was littered with just these negative things he
with just these negative things he
with just these negative things he instead chose to focus on a small sliver
instead chose to focus on a small sliver
instead chose to focus on a small sliver of opportunity and it was that ability
of opportunity and it was that ability
of opportunity and it was that ability that not only got him out of the camp
that not only got him out of the camp
that not only got him out of the camp but that allowed him to go out and share
but that allowed him to go out and share
but that allowed him to go out and share his message in impact millions of people
his message in impact millions of people
his message in impact millions of people it’s absolutely remarkable and what I
it’s absolutely remarkable and what I
it’s absolutely remarkable and what I realized in that moment is if he can
realized in that moment is if he can
realized in that moment is if he can choose that response to that situation
choose that response to that situation
choose that response to that situation surely I can change my response to a
surely I can change my response to a
surely I can change my response to a tenure decision and losing my job yet
tenure decision and losing my job yet
tenure decision and losing my job yet the most interesting thing happened when
the most interesting thing happened when
the most interesting thing happened when I went out and I tried to do it I
I went out and I tried to do it I
I went out and I tried to do it I couldn’t pull it off I just wasn’t able
couldn’t pull it off I just wasn’t able
couldn’t pull it off I just wasn’t able to do it right away so I decided to
to do it right away so I decided to
to do it right away so I decided to start smaller I thought if I could
start smaller I thought if I could
start smaller I thought if I could change littler things in my day I could
change littler things in my day I could
change littler things in my day I could work my way up to change the bigger
work my way up to change the bigger
work my way up to change the bigger things and I want to give you an example
things and I want to give you an example
things and I want to give you an example this is my gorgeous daughter Maya and
this is my gorgeous daughter Maya and
this is my gorgeous daughter Maya and one day I was playing I was taking care
one day I was playing I was taking care
one day I was playing I was taking care of Maya and I’m typing on my computer
of Maya and I’m typing on my computer
of Maya and I’m typing on my computer and she says daddy and I look up from my
and she says daddy and I look up from my
and she says daddy and I look up from my computer and she’s pointing at me she
computer and she’s pointing at me she
computer and she’s pointing at me she says daddy I have poopy on my finger and
says daddy I have poopy on my finger and
says daddy I have poopy on my finger and I look over and sure enough there’s
I look over and sure enough there’s
I look over and sure enough there’s something brown on her finger and I say
something brown on her finger and I say
something brown on her finger and I say sweetheart no that
sweetheart no that
sweetheart no that chocolate milk she had been drinking
chocolate milk she had been drinking
chocolate milk she had been drinking chocolate milk and I was sure that that
chocolate milk and I was sure that that
chocolate milk and I was sure that that was what was on her finger positive that
was what was on her finger positive that
was what was on her finger positive that was all an on her finger now anybody who
was all an on her finger now anybody who
was all an on her finger now anybody who has a three-year-old knows that when you
has a three-year-old knows that when you
has a three-year-old knows that when you tell them something they don’t want to
tell them something they don’t want to
tell them something they don’t want to hear it generally does not go well at
hear it generally does not go well at
hear it generally does not go well at all and she said in a very angry voice
all and she said in a very angry voice
all and she said in a very angry voice daddy no daddy poopy and she’s walking
daddy no daddy poopy and she’s walking
daddy no daddy poopy and she’s walking closer and I look at her finger I go
closer and I look at her finger I go
closer and I look at her finger I go sure enough that’s a gut spoopy that’s
sure enough that’s a gut spoopy that’s
sure enough that’s a gut spoopy that’s exactly what that is I’m no joke no joke
exactly what that is I’m no joke no joke
exactly what that is I’m no joke no joke so I do what any reasonable father would
so I do what any reasonable father would
so I do what any reasonable father would do in a very panicked tone I say
do in a very panicked tone I say
do in a very panicked tone I say sweetheart go over to the towel I’m
sweetheart go over to the towel I’m
sweetheart go over to the towel I’m gonna get you changed and if she turns
gonna get you changed and if she turns
gonna get you changed and if she turns around I realize I got a much bigger
around I realize I got a much bigger
around I realize I got a much bigger problem than I thought cuz it is going
problem than I thought cuz it is going
problem than I thought cuz it is going all the way up her back up her shoulder
all the way up her back up her shoulder
all the way up her back up her shoulder blades out her shirt and that is how she
blades out her shirt and that is how she
blades out her shirt and that is how she got it on her finger and this hyung
got it on her finger and this hyung
got it on her finger and this hyung though as I’m following her over there
though as I’m following her over there
though as I’m following her over there this smell is really bad and I am not
this smell is really bad and I am not
this smell is really bad and I am not capable of changing this diaper well and
capable of changing this diaper well and
capable of changing this diaper well and in the moment I really dislike being
in the moment I really dislike being
in the moment I really dislike being there in fact I hate being there I’d
there in fact I hate being there I’d
there in fact I hate being there I’d rather be anywhere than changing this
rather be anywhere than changing this
rather be anywhere than changing this diaper I want to stop right there
diaper I want to stop right there
diaper I want to stop right there because this was the exact type of
because this was the exact type of
because this was the exact type of situation I wanted to change and about a
situation I wanted to change and about a
situation I wanted to change and about a week earlier I had gone to my wife and I
week earlier I had gone to my wife and I
week earlier I had gone to my wife and I said brandy sweetheart I said I had this
said brandy sweetheart I said I had this
said brandy sweetheart I said I had this idea she always I always have ideas and
idea she always I always have ideas and
idea she always I always have ideas and I say see I said I think you can learn
I say see I said I think you can learn
I say see I said I think you can learn to love changing a dirty diaper and she
to love changing a dirty diaper and she
to love changing a dirty diaper and she looked at me like I was insane and she
looked at me like I was insane and she
looked at me like I was insane and she says no you can’t you only change like
says no you can’t you only change like
says no you can’t you only change like 5% of the diapers what do you know about
5% of the diapers what do you know about
5% of the diapers what do you know about it
it
it and I and I had to admit she was totally
and I and I had to admit she was totally
and I and I had to admit she was totally right so I started to change more
right so I started to change more
right so I started to change more diapers to improve my credibility and to
diapers to improve my credibility and to
diapers to improve my credibility and to improve my skill set okay so I want to
improve my skill set okay so I want to
improve my skill set okay so I want to ask you chilled hands how many people in
ask you chilled hands how many people in
ask you chilled hands how many people in the house would agree with my watch it
the house would agree with my watch it
the house would agree with my watch it is not realistic to think you can learn
is not realistic to think you can learn
is not realistic to think you can learn to love to change a dirty stinky nasty
to love to change a dirty stinky nasty
to love to change a dirty stinky nasty diaper show of hands let’s see it that’s
diaper show of hands let’s see it that’s
diaper show of hands let’s see it that’s what I thought and I’m guessing there
what I thought and I’m guessing there
what I thought and I’m guessing there some of you that are even hesitant
some of you that are even hesitant
some of you that are even hesitant saying you’re insane I’m not gonna raise
saying you’re insane I’m not gonna raise
saying you’re insane I’m not gonna raise my hand for those of you here I want to
my hand for those of you here I want to
my hand for those of you here I want to talk to you about perspective point this
talk to you about perspective point this
talk to you about perspective point this person on the screens name is Tom Ryan
person on the screens name is Tom Ryan
person on the screens name is Tom Ryan Tom Ryan is the head wrestling coach at
Tom Ryan is the head wrestling coach at
Tom Ryan is the head wrestling coach at Ohio State University one of the best
Ohio State University one of the best
Ohio State University one of the best coaches in the country and an
coaches in the country and an
coaches in the country and an extraordinary human being
extraordinary human being
extraordinary human being 15 years ago Tom Ryan was at his house
15 years ago Tom Ryan was at his house
15 years ago Tom Ryan was at his house and his kids were playing hide and seek
and his kids were playing hide and seek
and his kids were playing hide and seek when his five-year-old son Teague
when his five-year-old son Teague
when his five-year-old son Teague collapses on the ground and he’s not
collapses on the ground and he’s not
collapses on the ground and he’s not breathing he’s unconscious
breathing he’s unconscious
breathing he’s unconscious and Tom and them called the ambulance
and Tom and them called the ambulance
and Tom and them called the ambulance and he’s on the ground and he’s trying
and he’s on the ground and he’s trying
and he’s on the ground and he’s trying to resuscitate him doing CPR trying to
to resuscitate him doing CPR trying to
to resuscitate him doing CPR trying to bring him back 45 minutes later Teague
bring him back 45 minutes later Teague
bring him back 45 minutes later Teague now it’s dead and Tom said it’s one of
now it’s dead and Tom said it’s one of
now it’s dead and Tom said it’s one of the most painful moments in his life and
the most painful moments in his life and
the most painful moments in his life and the fact that he took that situation and
the fact that he took that situation and
the fact that he took that situation and instead of just staying there said I’m
instead of just staying there said I’m
instead of just staying there said I’m gonna live in his honor and he went out
gonna live in his honor and he went out
gonna live in his honor and he went out and achieved what he did is so
and achieved what he did is so
and achieved what he did is so unbelievable to me but that’s not the
unbelievable to me but that’s not the
unbelievable to me but that’s not the only lesson here because we’re talking
only lesson here because we’re talking
only lesson here because we’re talking about perspective point I want you to
about perspective point I want you to
about perspective point I want you to come back with me now to that point
come back with me now to that point
come back with me now to that point where I’m on the ground and I’m changing
where I’m on the ground and I’m changing
where I’m on the ground and I’m changing that diaper and it is all over the place
that diaper and it is all over the place
that diaper and it is all over the place and it is all over my hands and I am
and it is all over my hands and I am
and it is all over my hands and I am doing my best to change this thing and I
doing my best to change this thing and I
doing my best to change this thing and I hate that I have to be here and what I
hate that I have to be here and what I
hate that I have to be here and what I learned is its perspective point and in
learned is its perspective point and in
learned is its perspective point and in a moment what I hate that all I have to
a moment what I hate that all I have to
a moment what I hate that all I have to do is do one thing and my entire
do is do one thing and my entire
do is do one thing and my entire physiology psychology changes and what
physiology psychology changes and what
physiology psychology changes and what it is is this all I have to say is Tom
it is is this all I have to say is Tom
it is is this all I have to say is Tom Ryan would love to have the opportunity
Ryan would love to have the opportunity
Ryan would love to have the opportunity to be right here with this kid and just
to be right here with this kid and just
to be right here with this kid and just like that I go from hating the situation
like that I go from hating the situation
like that I go from hating the situation to loving this situation and I feel
to loving this situation and I feel
to loving this situation and I feel blessed to be here right now changing
blessed to be here right now changing
blessed to be here right now changing this dirty diaper with my daughter and
this dirty diaper with my daughter and
this dirty diaper with my daughter and that is one of the greatest powers that
that is one of the greatest powers that
that is one of the greatest powers that you have the ability to take any
you have the ability to take any
you have the ability to take any situation and shift your perspective
situation and shift your perspective
situation and shift your perspective point and change the entire thing and
point and change the entire thing and
point and change the entire thing and that moves us to step number three and
that moves us to step number three and
that moves us to step number three and what step number three is this is a
what step number three is this is a
what step number three is this is a progression of the other two and it’s
progression of the other two and it’s
progression of the other two and it’s something a little bit different but the
something a little bit different but the
something a little bit different but the one thing I didn’t in you to grow I
one thing I didn’t in you to grow I
one thing I didn’t in you to grow I continued to read I continued to look
continued to read I continued to look
continued to read I continued to look for the positive in one day I was
for the positive in one day I was
for the positive in one day I was reading and I found this quote from
reading and I found this quote from
reading and I found this quote from Oprah and I absolutely loved it it said
Oprah and I absolutely loved it it said
Oprah and I absolutely loved it it said that failure is a way to show us that
that failure is a way to show us that
that failure is a way to show us that our lives are moving in a different
our lives are moving in a different
our lives are moving in a different direction and that we should try
direction and that we should try
direction and that we should try something different and I’ll be straight
something different and I’ll be straight
something different and I’ll be straight with you the first thing I thought is
with you the first thing I thought is
with you the first thing I thought is what does Oprah know about something
what does Oprah know about something
what does Oprah know about something like this she’s one of the most
like this she’s one of the most
like this she’s one of the most successful people on the planet but as I
successful people on the planet but as I
successful people on the planet but as I studied more I realized that Oprah knows
studied more I realized that Oprah knows
studied more I realized that Oprah knows a lot about this Oprah I grew up in a
a lot about this Oprah I grew up in a
a lot about this Oprah I grew up in a household where she was abused by people
household where she was abused by people
household where she was abused by people very close to her family members and yet
very close to her family members and yet
very close to her family members and yet through it all she had this uncredible
through it all she had this uncredible
through it all she had this uncredible ability she still had a visions to say I
ability she still had a visions to say I
ability she still had a visions to say I can go out and I can impact millions of
can go out and I can impact millions of
can go out and I can impact millions of people’s lives with my message and then
people’s lives with my message and then
people’s lives with my message and then she went out she got her first job in
she went out she got her first job in
she went out she got her first job in television and they fired her and they
television and they fired her and they
television and they fired her and they told her you’re not good enough and most
told her you’re not good enough and most
told her you’re not good enough and most of us when that happens what we do is we
of us when that happens what we do is we
of us when that happens what we do is we go back and we think oh well maybe it’s
go back and we think oh well maybe it’s
go back and we think oh well maybe it’s not meant to be but she didn’t do that
not meant to be but she didn’t do that
not meant to be but she didn’t do that and instead what she did is this she
and instead what she did is this she
and instead what she did is this she used that situation as an opportunity to
used that situation as an opportunity to
used that situation as an opportunity to redirect and to go a different way and
redirect and to go a different way and
redirect and to go a different way and now she truly is impacting millions of
now she truly is impacting millions of
now she truly is impacting millions of lifes she’s not alone Kyle Maynard is a
lifes she’s not alone Kyle Maynard is a
lifes she’s not alone Kyle Maynard is a quad amputee and from the time he’s
quad amputee and from the time he’s
quad amputee and from the time he’s young people have said oh well you can’t
young people have said oh well you can’t
young people have said oh well you can’t do those things and yet he’s gone out
do those things and yet he’s gone out
do those things and yet he’s gone out and he’s done things like he’s climbed
and he’s done things like he’s climbed
and he’s done things like he’s climbed Mount Kilimanjaro a mountain that people
Mount Kilimanjaro a mountain that people
Mount Kilimanjaro a mountain that people died trying to climb every single year
died trying to climb every single year
died trying to climb every single year it’s absolutely unbelievable
it’s absolutely unbelievable
it’s absolutely unbelievable JK Rowling was homeless in her car with
JK Rowling was homeless in her car with
JK Rowling was homeless in her car with a baby coming when she had so much pain
a baby coming when she had so much pain
a baby coming when she had so much pain in that situation broke homeless in her
in that situation broke homeless in her
in that situation broke homeless in her car that she said I’m not gonna stand
car that she said I’m not gonna stand
car that she said I’m not gonna stand for this anymore
for this anymore
for this anymore I want something better for my baby and
I want something better for my baby and
I want something better for my baby and that was the passion that allowed her to
that was the passion that allowed her to
that was the passion that allowed her to go out and write the Harry Potter series
go out and write the Harry Potter series
go out and write the Harry Potter series and that’s when a light went off in my
and that’s when a light went off in my
and that’s when a light went off in my head that I realized this that those
head that I realized this that those
head that I realized this that those none of those things were failures in
none of those things were failures in
none of those things were failures in the way that we see them they were
the way that we see them they were
the way that we see them they were opportunities to learn and even better
opportunities to learn and even better
opportunities to learn and even better than that they were gifts gifts that
than that they were gifts gifts that
than that they were gifts gifts that allowed them to dig so much deeper and
allowed them to dig so much deeper and
allowed them to dig so much deeper and find an entirely different level that
find an entirely different level that
find an entirely different level that they had no idea that they had before
they had no idea that they had before
they had no idea that they had before and that was the park that sparked their
and that was the park that sparked their
and that was the park that sparked their potential and allowed them to go out and
potential and allowed them to go out and
potential and allowed them to go out and achieve these amazing things and that
achieve these amazing things and that
achieve these amazing things and that was the part for me that I realized it’s
was the part for me that I realized it’s
was the part for me that I realized it’s a gift and I but first what I did is I
a gift and I but first what I did is I
a gift and I but first what I did is I came back and I said what’s the gift in
came back and I said what’s the gift in
came back and I said what’s the gift in your situation and at first my ego
your situation and at first my ego
your situation and at first my ego wouldn’t let me see it because it was in
wouldn’t let me see it because it was in
wouldn’t let me see it because it was in the way but as I asked it became clear
the way but as I asked it became clear
the way but as I asked it became clear and what it was is this I’m not meant to
and what it was is this I’m not meant to
and what it was is this I’m not meant to be a professor at the University of
be a professor at the University of
be a professor at the University of North Carolina I’m meant to be out
North Carolina I’m meant to be out
North Carolina I’m meant to be out trying to inspire people to live to
trying to inspire people to live to
trying to inspire people to live to their full potential and right now on
their full potential and right now on
their full potential and right now on this stage that gift is completely clear
this stage that gift is completely clear
this stage that gift is completely clear because the worst moment in my
because the worst moment in my
because the worst moment in my professional career and a span of a year
professional career and a span of a year
professional career and a span of a year and a half has turned into one of the
and a half has turned into one of the
and a half has turned into one of the coolest sitting here right now sharing a
coolest sitting here right now sharing a
coolest sitting here right now sharing a message with the opportunity to impact
message with the opportunity to impact
message with the opportunity to impact millions of lives it’s really really
millions of lives it’s really really
millions of lives it’s really really cool so as I finished I just want to ask
cool so as I finished I just want to ask
cool so as I finished I just want to ask you a few different questions and what
you a few different questions and what
you a few different questions and what it is is this what would you do what
it is is this what would you do what
it is is this what would you do what would you do if you were taking care of
would you do if you were taking care of
would you do if you were taking care of your kid and they had a blowout so bad
your kid and they had a blowout so bad
your kid and they had a blowout so bad that it went up their back through their
that it went up their back through their
that it went up their back through their shoulder blades out their shirt and on
shoulder blades out their shirt and on
shoulder blades out their shirt and on their finger I like to believe you would
their finger I like to believe you would
their finger I like to believe you would handle it a lot better than I would
handle it a lot better than I would
handle it a lot better than I would and what would you do if you got fired
and what would you do if you got fired
and what would you do if you got fired from a job that you loved in somebody
from a job that you loved in somebody
from a job that you loved in somebody told you that you were not good enough
told you that you were not good enough
told you that you were not good enough how would you handle that and what would
how would you handle that and what would
how would you handle that and what would you do if you’re playing hide and seek
you do if you’re playing hide and seek
you do if you’re playing hide and seek with your kids and all of a sudden one
with your kids and all of a sudden one
with your kids and all of a sudden one of them collapse on the ground and died
of them collapse on the ground and died
of them collapse on the ground and died in your arms listen I hope some of these
in your arms listen I hope some of these
in your arms listen I hope some of these things never happen to you but the one
things never happen to you but the one
things never happen to you but the one thing that’s inevitable in life is
thing that’s inevitable in life is
thing that’s inevitable in life is you’re going to face challenges and when
you’re going to face challenges and when
you’re going to face challenges and when that time comes that adversity comes
that time comes that adversity comes
that time comes that adversity comes knocking at your door don’t give it the
knocking at your door don’t give it the
knocking at your door don’t give it the greatest power that you have the ability
greatest power that you have the ability
greatest power that you have the ability to always choose your response to any
to always choose your response to any
to always choose your response to any situation no matter what and when you’re
situation no matter what and when you’re
situation no matter what and when you’re in the middle of that and your brain is
in the middle of that and your brain is
in the middle of that and your brain is urging you to focus on the negative
urging you to focus on the negative
urging you to focus on the negative fight that off and instead remind
fight that off and instead remind
fight that off and instead remind yourself that you have a choice and go
yourself that you have a choice and go
yourself that you have a choice and go out and look for the gift in your
out and look for the gift in your
out and look for the gift in your situation because that’s the only way
situation because that’s the only way
situation because that’s the only way the only way that you’re going to be
the only way that you’re going to be
the only way that you’re going to be able to go out and spark your potential
able to go out and spark your potential
able to go out and spark your potential and achieve extraordinary things that
and achieve extraordinary things that
and achieve extraordinary things that make the world a better place thank you
make the world a better place thank you
make the world a better place thank you [Applause]
”
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