thank you it’s an absolute honor to be here with you today on the ancestral
here with you today on the ancestral
here with you today on the ancestral lands of the cassava and the Lacroix in
lands of the cassava and the Lacroix in
lands of the cassava and the Lacroix in families my name is Cheryl and I work
families my name is Cheryl and I work
families my name is Cheryl and I work here at railroads University and as a
here at railroads University and as a
here at railroads University and as a participatory researcher I’d like to
participatory researcher I’d like to
participatory researcher I’d like to start with an activity so here’s how
start with an activity so here’s how
start with an activity so here’s how it’s going to work I’m gonna flash a
it’s going to work I’m gonna flash a
it’s going to work I’m gonna flash a series of words up on the screen and
series of words up on the screen and
series of words up on the screen and you’ll have about four to five seconds
you’ll have about four to five seconds
you’ll have about four to five seconds to contemplate the associations you make
to contemplate the associations you make
to contemplate the associations you make with each word ready first word ready
with each word ready first word ready
with each word ready first word ready okay first word FedEx second word
okay first word FedEx second word
okay first word FedEx second word Bunny’s third word and final word yes
Bunny’s third word and final word yes
Bunny’s third word and final word yes sir now I would hazard a guess that
sir now I would hazard a guess that
sir now I would hazard a guess that because you’re here in the room that you
because you’re here in the room that you
because you’re here in the room that you generally have more positive
generally have more positive
generally have more positive associations with TEDx the negative ones
associations with TEDx the negative ones
associations with TEDx the negative ones yeah okay um the research also shows us
yeah okay um the research also shows us
yeah okay um the research also shows us that we tend to have positive
that we tend to have positive
that we tend to have positive associations with cute cuddly bunnies
associations with cute cuddly bunnies
associations with cute cuddly bunnies and more negative associations with
and more negative associations with
and more negative associations with cancer before I was diagnosed I had
cancer before I was diagnosed I had
cancer before I was diagnosed I had negative associations with cancer too I
negative associations with cancer too I
negative associations with cancer too I was 34 I just finished my doctorate here
was 34 I just finished my doctorate here
was 34 I just finished my doctorate here and I was ready to launch into the world
and I was ready to launch into the world
and I was ready to launch into the world you know I find that dream job to meet a
you know I find that dream job to meet a
you know I find that dream job to meet a partner and to start a family and
partner and to start a family and
partner and to start a family and instead I was diagnosed with
instead I was diagnosed with
instead I was diagnosed with non-hodgkins follicular lymphoma it’s a
non-hodgkins follicular lymphoma it’s a
non-hodgkins follicular lymphoma it’s a bit of a mouthful
bit of a mouthful
bit of a mouthful it’s a type of cancer that generally
it’s a type of cancer that generally
it’s a type of cancer that generally affects people who are approximately 60
affects people who are approximately 60
affects people who are approximately 60 years of age which I am NOT and a type
years of age which I am NOT and a type
years of age which I am NOT and a type of cancer that is incurable and even
of cancer that is incurable and even
of cancer that is incurable and even just saying that again it kind of
just saying that again it kind of
just saying that again it kind of reminds me of that moment when the phone
reminds me of that moment when the phone
reminds me of that moment when the phone rang and it was terrifying no it was
rang and it was terrifying no it was
rang and it was terrifying no it was scary and then trying to navigate the
scary and then trying to navigate the
scary and then trying to navigate the cancer system was really confusing now I
cancer system was really confusing now I
cancer system was really confusing now I remember having a conversation with my
remember having a conversation with my
remember having a conversation with my doctor and him saying like together we
doctor and him saying like together we
doctor and him saying like together we can beat the enemy or talking with
can beat the enemy or talking with
can beat the enemy or talking with friends and they told me to be brave or
friends and they told me to be brave or
friends and they told me to be brave or to be
to be
to be strong reading magazines I read about
strong reading magazines I read about
strong reading magazines I read about the new war on cancer and cancer
the new war on cancer and cancer
the new war on cancer and cancer fighting super foods and even in the
fighting super foods and even in the
fighting super foods and even in the sympathy cards I received I was told to
sympathy cards I received I was told to
sympathy cards I received I was told to be brave to be fierce
be brave to be fierce
be brave to be fierce and that I could beat this and I really
and that I could beat this and I really
and that I could beat this and I really appreciated all the words of support
appreciated all the words of support
appreciated all the words of support from all the people in my life and there
from all the people in my life and there
from all the people in my life and there was something about this dominant
was something about this dominant
was something about this dominant negative even militaristic language that
negative even militaristic language that
negative even militaristic language that we use to talk about cancer it didn’t
we use to talk about cancer it didn’t
we use to talk about cancer it didn’t work no I have cancer and it’s not going
work no I have cancer and it’s not going
work no I have cancer and it’s not going away it’s here it’s here it’s here and
away it’s here it’s here it’s here and
away it’s here it’s here it’s here and it’s here so yeah I want it gone and
it’s here so yeah I want it gone and
it’s here so yeah I want it gone and I’ll do anything I can to make that
I’ll do anything I can to make that
I’ll do anything I can to make that happen but what would it mean to fight
happen but what would it mean to fight
happen but what would it mean to fight with myself and my body in the cells of
with myself and my body in the cells of
with myself and my body in the cells of my being for the rest of my life
frankly I don’t want to try I don’t want
frankly I don’t want to try I don’t want to fight instead how can I learn to love
to fight instead how can I learn to love
to fight instead how can I learn to love this body this body that is cancers home
this body this body that is cancers home
this body this body that is cancers home how can I learn to take care and love
how can I learn to take care and love
how can I learn to take care and love every cell cancer and all how can I
every cell cancer and all how can I
every cell cancer and all how can I learn to love myself more living with
learn to love myself more living with
learn to love myself more living with cancer so that’s what I’m trying and let
cancer so that’s what I’m trying and let
cancer so that’s what I’m trying and let me tell you it is not always easy there
me tell you it is not always easy there
me tell you it is not always easy there are moments where it’s almost impossible
are moments where it’s almost impossible
are moments where it’s almost impossible all those moments when you’re curled up
all those moments when you’re curled up
all those moments when you’re curled up over the toilet bowl after a chemo
over the toilet bowl after a chemo
over the toilet bowl after a chemo treatment or emo brain hits and you
treatment or emo brain hits and you
treatment or emo brain hits and you can’t find the keys that you’ve been
can’t find the keys that you’ve been
can’t find the keys that you’ve been holding in your hand for the last 20
holding in your hand for the last 20
holding in your hand for the last 20 minutes or those days when you’re so
minutes or those days when you’re so
minutes or those days when you’re so exhausted that you can’t get out of bed
exhausted that you can’t get out of bed
exhausted that you can’t get out of bed and you can’t get out of bed and yet
and you can’t get out of bed and yet
and you can’t get out of bed and yet you’re rid with guilt and you’re rid
you’re rid with guilt and you’re rid
you’re rid with guilt and you’re rid with guilt or I am anyway because I’m
with guilt or I am anyway because I’m
with guilt or I am anyway because I’m still here and others aren’t well I feel
still here and others aren’t well I feel
still here and others aren’t well I feel like I should get out of bed I feel like
like I should get out of bed I feel like
like I should get out of bed I feel like I have to and in those moments it’s
I have to and in those moments it’s
I have to and in those moments it’s really hard to try and love myself
really hard to try and love myself
really hard to try and love myself living with cancer
living with cancer
living with cancer and yet you know with cancer I’m also
and yet you know with cancer I’m also
and yet you know with cancer I’m also learning to love life the live in the
learning to love life the live in the
learning to love life the live in the moment without regret you appreciate the
moment without regret you appreciate the
moment without regret you appreciate the complexity and fragility and the beauty
complexity and fragility and the beauty
complexity and fragility and the beauty of life and death and to not wait for
of life and death and to not wait for
of life and death and to not wait for some day
some day
some day and yes success is still something I
and yes success is still something I
and yes success is still something I strive for I work here in an academic
strive for I work here in an academic
strive for I work here in an academic institution so it’s important and yet
institution so it’s important and yet
institution so it’s important and yet I’m no longer willing to compromise
I’m no longer willing to compromise
I’m no longer willing to compromise living for it
living for it
living for it and I would actually say that I’ve
and I would actually say that I’ve
and I would actually say that I’ve redefined what success means for me
redefined what success means for me
redefined what success means for me where success is living fully so I take
where success is living fully so I take
where success is living fully so I take vacations and I sleep more and I’ve even
vacations and I sleep more and I’ve even
vacations and I sleep more and I’ve even changed the trajectory of my career and
changed the trajectory of my career and
changed the trajectory of my career and just last week I got on a plane and flew
just last week I got on a plane and flew
just last week I got on a plane and flew five hours just to hold my new baby
five hours just to hold my new baby
five hours just to hold my new baby nephew and that’s what living feels like
nephew and that’s what living feels like
nephew and that’s what living feels like right now for me and it’s awesome you
right now for me and it’s awesome you
right now for me and it’s awesome you know with cancer I’ve learned a lot and
know with cancer I’ve learned a lot and
know with cancer I’ve learned a lot and while I would never wish it upon anyone
while I would never wish it upon anyone
while I would never wish it upon anyone if I had a choice I wouldn’t go back to
if I had a choice I wouldn’t go back to
if I had a choice I wouldn’t go back to the person I was before cancer answers
the person I was before cancer answers
the person I was before cancer answers changed me it’s changed me for the
changed me it’s changed me for the
changed me it’s changed me for the better actually
better actually
better actually it’s helped me learn to love this body
it’s helped me learn to love this body
it’s helped me learn to love this body and the person that I am even more and
and the person that I am even more and
and the person that I am even more and for that I’m really grateful you know so
for that I’m really grateful you know so
for that I’m really grateful you know so here I am up here talking about my story
here I am up here talking about my story
here I am up here talking about my story but why is this important
but why is this important
but why is this important well let me show you you’ll notice on
well let me show you you’ll notice on
well let me show you you’ll notice on the floor or the chairs in front of you
the floor or the chairs in front of you
the floor or the chairs in front of you there are some dots if you have a red
there are some dots if you have a red
there are some dots if you have a red dot on the chair in front of you I
dot on the chair in front of you I
dot on the chair in front of you I invite you to please stand up and if
invite you to please stand up and if
invite you to please stand up and if that feels uncomfortable ask your
that feels uncomfortable ask your
that feels uncomfortable ask your neighbor to stand up for you
50% almost 50% of this room is standing
50% almost 50% of this room is standing nearly half of you that represents the
nearly half of you that represents the
nearly half of you that represents the new statistic from the Canadian Cancer
new statistic from the Canadian Cancer
new statistic from the Canadian Cancer Agency that one in two Canadians will be
Agency that one in two Canadians will be
Agency that one in two Canadians will be diagnosed with cancer over the course of
diagnosed with cancer over the course of
diagnosed with cancer over the course of their lives one and two would be you or
their lives one and two would be you or
their lives one and two would be you or it could be your neighbor so that’s why
it could be your neighbor so that’s why
it could be your neighbor so that’s why this conversation is important so I
this conversation is important so I
this conversation is important so I invite you to ask yourself if that call
invite you to ask yourself if that call
invite you to ask yourself if that call came tomorrow what would you say what
came tomorrow what would you say what
came tomorrow what would you say what would you do how would you respond would
would you do how would you respond would
would you do how would you respond would you tell that someone to whoop cancers
you tell that someone to whoop cancers
you tell that someone to whoop cancers ass it’d be strong or to fight or
ass it’d be strong or to fight or
ass it’d be strong or to fight or instead just maybe could you ask that
instead just maybe could you ask that
instead just maybe could you ask that person what kind of care and support
person what kind of care and support
person what kind of care and support they need how can we reinvent how we
they need how can we reinvent how we
they need how can we reinvent how we talk about cancer and how we approach
talk about cancer and how we approach
talk about cancer and how we approach cancer at home in health care and in our
cancer at home in health care and in our
cancer at home in health care and in our life how can we not simply fight cancer
life how can we not simply fight cancer
life how can we not simply fight cancer and the cells of our body how can we
and the cells of our body how can we
and the cells of our body how can we also send a little love and care to our
also send a little love and care to our
also send a little love and care to our bodies and ourselves answer and all what
bodies and ourselves answer and all what
bodies and ourselves answer and all what can you can we do to make it happen
”
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