Press "Enter" to skip to content

Men in Feminism | Harnidh Kaur | TEDxFLAMEUniversity


also let’s that I’m really tired of

also let’s that I’m really tired of having the stock I’ve given this talk in

having the stock I’ve given this talk in

having the stock I’ve given this talk in so many forms to so many people that I’m

so many forms to so many people that I’m

so many forms to so many people that I’m standing here and I feel this utter

standing here and I feel this utter

standing here and I feel this utter sense of deja vu like we’re gonna go

sense of deja vu like we’re gonna go

sense of deja vu like we’re gonna go over the same points again and again and

over the same points again and again and

over the same points again and again and again I’ve had this talk with my father

again I’ve had this talk with my father

again I’ve had this talk with my father last night I had this talk with my best

last night I had this talk with my best

last night I had this talk with my best friend last week

friend last week

friend last week I had this talk with the last man I

I had this talk with the last man I

I had this talk with the last man I dated I had this talk of my cousin’s I

dated I had this talk of my cousin’s I

dated I had this talk of my cousin’s I had to stop with the uber driver whose

had to stop with the uber driver whose

had to stop with the uber driver whose cat I was sitting in some time ago so

cat I was sitting in some time ago so

cat I was sitting in some time ago so you know every time I stand here and I

you know every time I stand here and I

you know every time I stand here and I talk about this I’m just like oh god not

talk about this I’m just like oh god not

talk about this I’m just like oh god not again but here I am on my crusade to

again but here I am on my crusade to

again but here I am on my crusade to recruit men into the cause of gender

recruit men into the cause of gender

recruit men into the cause of gender equality I am here to talk to you about

equality I am here to talk to you about

equality I am here to talk to you about the big f word feminism now Albert

the big f word feminism now Albert

the big f word feminism now Albert Einstein once said the definition of

Einstein once said the definition of

Einstein once said the definition of insanity is doing something again and

insanity is doing something again and

insanity is doing something again and again and again expecting a different

again and again expecting a different

again and again expecting a different result

result

result some people have called me insane for

some people have called me insane for

some people have called me insane for doing this so often but I don’t think I

doing this so often but I don’t think I

doing this so often but I don’t think I am because results are showing women’s

am because results are showing women’s

am because results are showing women’s issues are coming up on the forefront

issues are coming up on the forefront

issues are coming up on the forefront and that has opened a door for various

and that has opened a door for various

and that has opened a door for various minority issues – it’s coming to a point

minority issues – it’s coming to a point

minority issues – it’s coming to a point where we are talking about things we

where we are talking about things we

where we are talking about things we have realized that stakeholder patterns

have realized that stakeholder patterns

have realized that stakeholder patterns exist and that the manifestation of

exist and that the manifestation of

exist and that the manifestation of inequality is very different from the

inequality is very different from the

inequality is very different from the causes of it so we’re smart we’re

causes of it so we’re smart we’re

causes of it so we’re smart we’re smarter than the people before us right

smarter than the people before us right

smarter than the people before us right and that’s awesome because that’s hope

and that’s awesome because that’s hope

and that’s awesome because that’s hope hope brings change hope brings ability

hope brings change hope brings ability

hope brings change hope brings ability hope fix ability to impact hope brings

hope fix ability to impact hope brings

hope fix ability to impact hope brings ability to think of a better future and

ability to think of a better future and

ability to think of a better future and today I’m talking about a bit more of

today I’m talking about a bit more of

today I’m talking about a bit more of hope the hope that men actively join

hope the hope that men actively join

hope the hope that men actively join feminism so why would I want men to

feminism so why would I want men to

feminism so why would I want men to actively contribute to

actively contribute to

actively contribute to movement that has been identified as we

movement that has been identified as we

movement that has been identified as we maintain space and men sealing it why

maintain space and men sealing it why

maintain space and men sealing it why would men want to do that so that’s what

would men want to do that so that’s what

would men want to do that so that’s what we’re going to be doing here today

we’re going to be doing here today

we’re going to be doing here today now you know this is a point I have a

now you know this is a point I have a

now you know this is a point I have a lot of trouble communicating to people

lot of trouble communicating to people

lot of trouble communicating to people men see

men see

men see Oh gender equality means women get

Oh gender equality means women get

Oh gender equality means women get rights that’s right they say Oh feminism

rights that’s right they say Oh feminism

rights that’s right they say Oh feminism is all about women because it has the

is all about women because it has the

is all about women because it has the word per minute that’s right to an

word per minute that’s right to an

word per minute that’s right to an extent but what men don’t realize is

extent but what men don’t realize is

extent but what men don’t realize is that feminism is not men versus women

that feminism is not men versus women

that feminism is not men versus women it’s not like you know man was his wife

it’s not like you know man was his wife

it’s not like you know man was his wife man was his right woman

man was his right woman

man was his right woman it is us versus the patriarchy now the

it is us versus the patriarchy now the

it is us versus the patriarchy now the big P word like this is this is my

big P word like this is this is my

big P word like this is this is my trigger word I hear the word patriarchy

trigger word I hear the word patriarchy

trigger word I hear the word patriarchy and I’m just like I don’t like it

and I’m just like I don’t like it

and I’m just like I don’t like it patriarchy is not a sword that men we

patriarchy is not a sword that men we

patriarchy is not a sword that men we use against the world and molohia

use against the world and molohia

use against the world and molohia I’m not pressing you patriarchy impacts

I’m not pressing you patriarchy impacts

I’m not pressing you patriarchy impacts men too and very negatively at that men

men too and very negatively at that men

men too and very negatively at that men don’t realize it but patriarchy has been

don’t realize it but patriarchy has been

don’t realize it but patriarchy has been training you to be incapable of

training you to be incapable of

training you to be incapable of communicating with your own

communicating with your own

communicating with your own vulnerabilities your own emotions it’s

vulnerabilities your own emotions it’s

vulnerabilities your own emotions it’s come to a point where men don’t even

come to a point where men don’t even

come to a point where men don’t even realize what they are missing out on

realize what they are missing out on

realize what they are missing out on because they’ve been conditioned for so

because they’ve been conditioned for so

because they’ve been conditioned for so long now you know what kind of

long now you know what kind of

long now you know what kind of conditioning are we talking about let’s

conditioning are we talking about let’s

conditioning are we talking about let’s start with the fact that when a child is

start with the fact that when a child is

start with the fact that when a child is born we decide to tell the world about

born we decide to tell the world about

born we decide to tell the world about its gender through clothing you know you

its gender through clothing you know you

its gender through clothing you know you start from that step point and then you

start from that step point and then you

start from that step point and then you go ahead and tell boys you cannot cry

go ahead and tell boys you cannot cry

go ahead and tell boys you cannot cry you cannot be vulnerable you can no you

you cannot be vulnerable you can no you

you cannot be vulnerable you can no you do not have a feminine side and hence

do not have a feminine side and hence

do not have a feminine side and hence you must actively tamp it down that

you must actively tamp it down that

you must actively tamp it down that sounds little problematic to me if you

sounds little problematic to me if you

sounds little problematic to me if you ask me and that is teittleman the law of

ask me and that is teittleman the law of

ask me and that is teittleman the law of the land is very much against you today

the land is very much against you today

the land is very much against you today so some time ago a month ago there was a

so some time ago a month ago there was a

so some time ago a month ago there was a can rape case in the Banaras Hindu

can rape case in the Banaras Hindu

can rape case in the Banaras Hindu University which are the most premier

University which are the most premier

University which are the most premier universities

universities

universities country right now so according to the

country right now so according to the

country right now so according to the criminal law Amendment Act of 2013 the

criminal law Amendment Act of 2013 the

criminal law Amendment Act of 2013 the legal recourse for add gangway

legal recourse for add gangway

legal recourse for add gangway is punishment minimum twenty years to

is punishment minimum twenty years to

is punishment minimum twenty years to life and financial repatriation that

life and financial repatriation that

life and financial repatriation that takes care to victims five you know

takes care to victims five you know

takes care to victims five you know medical needs as well as rehabilitation

medical needs as well as rehabilitation

medical needs as well as rehabilitation needs unfortunately this time the victim

needs unfortunately this time the victim

needs unfortunately this time the victim was a man the laws of this country are

was a man the laws of this country are

was a man the laws of this country are not gender neutral the laws of this

not gender neutral the laws of this

not gender neutral the laws of this country are not gender neutral hence he

country are not gender neutral hence he

country are not gender neutral hence he does not get this Rico’s thanks the

does not get this Rico’s thanks the

does not get this Rico’s thanks the biggest case he can file is physical

biggest case he can file is physical

biggest case he can file is physical assault it does not take into account

assault it does not take into account

assault it does not take into account the trauma of sexual assault which has

the trauma of sexual assault which has

the trauma of sexual assault which has been categorically considered and has

been categorically considered and has

been categorically considered and has been put across in the media now why

been put across in the media now why

been put across in the media now why does that happen

does that happen

does that happen why are the laws not gender neutral they

why are the laws not gender neutral they

why are the laws not gender neutral they are not gender neutral because we

are not gender neutral because we

are not gender neutral because we believe that men cannot be victims why

believe that men cannot be victims why

believe that men cannot be victims why can’t men not be victims because the

can’t men not be victims because the

can’t men not be victims because the patriarchy states that men are only

patriarchy states that men are only

patriarchy states that men are only aggressors now you and I were very very

aggressors now you and I were very very

aggressors now you and I were very very privileged women why are we privileged

privileged women why are we privileged

privileged women why are we privileged because we have the power to observe we

because we have the power to observe we

because we have the power to observe we have the capability to observe we have

have the capability to observe we have

have the capability to observe we have the capability to distill those

the capability to distill those

the capability to distill those observations into something concrete

observations into something concrete

observations into something concrete when I talk to you here I do not just

when I talk to you here I do not just

when I talk to you here I do not just talk to students and teachers I talk to

talk to students and teachers I talk to

talk to students and teachers I talk to policymakers educationalists people in

policymakers educationalists people in

policymakers educationalists people in the media people who will go into the

the media people who will go into the

the media people who will go into the future I talk to people who change

future I talk to people who change

future I talk to people who change perceptions you understand what’s

perceptions you understand what’s

perceptions you understand what’s happening right you understand that

happening right you understand that

happening right you understand that these stakeholder patterns exist hence

these stakeholder patterns exist hence

these stakeholder patterns exist hence it’s your duty to take them forward to

it’s your duty to take them forward to

it’s your duty to take them forward to push them forward and to create a sense

push them forward and to create a sense

push them forward and to create a sense of education amongst people now you know

of education amongst people now you know

of education amongst people now you know in 2014 there was a world serving the

in 2014 there was a world serving the

in 2014 there was a world serving the world survey was on suicide rates India

world survey was on suicide rates India

world survey was on suicide rates India has the largest number of suicides in

has the largest number of suicides in

has the largest number of suicides in the world in 2015 the same data was dug

the world in 2015 the same data was dug

the world in 2015 the same data was dug up a little deeper and 21 percent of

up a little deeper and 21 percent of

up a little deeper and 21 percent of those suicides were men who was told

those suicides were men who was told

those suicides were men who was told we’ve trained our men very very well

we’ve trained our men very very well

we’ve trained our men very very well we’ve trained them to be quiet and to

we’ve trained them to be quiet and to

we’ve trained them to be quiet and to take everything that they can we’ve

take everything that they can we’ve

take everything that they can we’ve trained them to believe that they are

trained them to believe that they are

trained them to believe that they are not while you’re away

not while you’re away

not while you’re away we’ve trained them well enough that they

we’ve trained them well enough that they

we’ve trained them well enough that they literally die before they get a chance

literally die before they get a chance

literally die before they get a chance to speak so why this is the form of

to speak so why this is the form of

to speak so why this is the form of repression right and this is very active

repression right and this is very active

repression right and this is very active oppression why do we not consider it so

oppression why do we not consider it so

oppression why do we not consider it so is it because it doesn’t look like

is it because it doesn’t look like

is it because it doesn’t look like oppression is it because you know we

oppression is it because you know we

oppression is it because you know we look at things at face value and say of

look at things at face value and say of

look at things at face value and say of course a man can’t do your breast is it

course a man can’t do your breast is it

course a man can’t do your breast is it because it’s difficult to shake status

because it’s difficult to shake status

because it’s difficult to shake status quo up you know what I think it’s the

quo up you know what I think it’s the

quo up you know what I think it’s the problem that once you start questioning

problem that once you start questioning

problem that once you start questioning something as basic as this you’re going

something as basic as this you’re going

something as basic as this you’re going to open up a Pandora’s box of questions

to open up a Pandora’s box of questions

to open up a Pandora’s box of questions and you’re going to have to actively

and you’re going to have to actively

and you’re going to have to actively look at the repercussions of what’s been

look at the repercussions of what’s been

look at the repercussions of what’s been happening you know what is the most

happening you know what is the most

happening you know what is the most interesting side effects of feminism

interesting side effects of feminism

interesting side effects of feminism this was a study done in Wisconsin

this was a study done in Wisconsin

this was a study done in Wisconsin recently and it shows that men who live

recently and it shows that men who live

recently and it shows that men who live in a feminist powered environment have

in a feminist powered environment have

in a feminist powered environment have shown a steady increase in their

shown a steady increase in their

shown a steady increase in their happiness now before you say that okay

happiness now before you say that okay

happiness now before you say that okay that means feminist women aren’t happy

that means feminist women aren’t happy

that means feminist women aren’t happy feminist women have actively that higher

feminist women have actively that higher

feminist women have actively that higher on that happiness index since 2012 when

on that happiness index since 2012 when

on that happiness index since 2012 when the researchers started being conducted

the researchers started being conducted

the researchers started being conducted feminism neutrally means that people are

feminism neutrally means that people are

feminism neutrally means that people are generally happier because people are now

generally happier because people are now

generally happier because people are now exploring new things they’re trying out

exploring new things they’re trying out

exploring new things they’re trying out new chicks they are not affected by

new chicks they are not affected by

new chicks they are not affected by antiquated gender roles are not fettered

antiquated gender roles are not fettered

antiquated gender roles are not fettered by expectations feminism and it’s very

by expectations feminism and it’s very

by expectations feminism and it’s very crux is about ability it’s about giving

crux is about ability it’s about giving

crux is about ability it’s about giving choice to people and the ability to

choice to people and the ability to

choice to people and the ability to create good wise choices this is an

create good wise choices this is an

create good wise choices this is an education unto itself learning how to

education unto itself learning how to

education unto itself learning how to involve feminism in your life is an

involve feminism in your life is an

involve feminism in your life is an education you give to yourself you know

education you give to yourself you know

education you give to yourself you know the facts are very simple feminism looks

the facts are very simple feminism looks

the facts are very simple feminism looks at men stakeholders

at men stakeholders

at men stakeholders feminism does not look at men only as

feminism does not look at men only as

feminism does not look at men only as the allies it looks at them as active

the allies it looks at them as active

the allies it looks at them as active beneficiaries of the entire movement we

beneficiaries of the entire movement we

beneficiaries of the entire movement we believe that men are beyond their base

believe that men are beyond their base

believe that men are beyond their base abilities we believe that men are beyond

abilities we believe that men are beyond

abilities we believe that men are beyond their you know caves man like natural

their you know caves man like natural

their you know caves man like natural masculinity that has been so toxic to

masculinity that has been so toxic to

masculinity that has been so toxic to them over so many years we believe that

them over so many years we believe that

them over so many years we believe that men can be vulnerable we believe that

men can be vulnerable we believe that

men can be vulnerable we believe that men can be broken by accepting that a

men can be broken by accepting that a

men can be broken by accepting that a man has feelings that can be hurt by

man has feelings that can be hurt by

man has feelings that can be hurt by accepting that systematic degradation of

accepting that systematic degradation of

accepting that systematic degradation of men occurs – we are opening up doors to

men occurs – we are opening up doors to

men occurs – we are opening up doors to healing no world order can change until

healing no world order can change until

healing no world order can change until it’s shaken and broken no seed can

it’s shaken and broken no seed can

it’s shaken and broken no seed can germinate until it cracks open a little

germinate until it cracks open a little

germinate until it cracks open a little and it allows water and sunshine to pour

and it allows water and sunshine to pour

and it allows water and sunshine to pour in it’s not an easy thing to do you know

in it’s not an easy thing to do you know

in it’s not an easy thing to do you know when you look at changing the status quo

when you look at changing the status quo

when you look at changing the status quo that has supported you for so long in

that has supported you for so long in

that has supported you for so long in ways that are very obvious we understand

ways that are very obvious we understand

ways that are very obvious we understand the fear which is why it’s not about you

the fear which is why it’s not about you

the fear which is why it’s not about you just sealing space in public matters

just sealing space in public matters

just sealing space in public matters it’s also about you entering the private

it’s also about you entering the private

it’s also about you entering the private sphere we don’t ask you to simply leave

sphere we don’t ask you to simply leave

sphere we don’t ask you to simply leave power out we asked you to share it we

power out we asked you to share it we

power out we asked you to share it we ask you to explore a plethora of

ask you to explore a plethora of

ask you to explore a plethora of experiences you never thought you had in

experiences you never thought you had in

experiences you never thought you had in you to see so you know at the end of the

you to see so you know at the end of the

you to see so you know at the end of the day this was my recruitment call this

day this was my recruitment call this

day this was my recruitment call this was a clarion call if you do not call

was a clarion call if you do not call

was a clarion call if you do not call yourself a feminist think of the fact

yourself a feminist think of the fact

yourself a feminist think of the fact that when you do you are gunning for a

that when you do you are gunning for a

that when you do you are gunning for a better softer kinder world where we all

better softer kinder world where we all

better softer kinder world where we all grow into each other not away from each

grow into each other not away from each

grow into each other not away from each other so I really do hope when you go

other so I really do hope when you go

other so I really do hope when you go away from you know you maybe open up the

away from you know you maybe open up the

away from you know you maybe open up the internet and you look up mail feminism

internet and you look up mail feminism

internet and you look up mail feminism maybe you look up how to be a good Ally

maybe you look up how to be a good Ally

maybe you look up how to be a good Ally maybe you look up am I dressed because

maybe you look up am I dressed because

maybe you look up am I dressed because that would you be finally a point where

that would you be finally a point where

that would you be finally a point where you realize that yes you have the

you realize that yes you have the

you realize that yes you have the ability to be a kind of

ability to be a kind of

ability to be a kind of just think about it that’s all I ask of

just think about it that’s all I ask of

just think about it that’s all I ask of you thank you

you thank you

you thank you [Applause]

”

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *