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Yes, my scars do define me | Gebran Abou Zeid | TEDxNDULouaize


I’m in love with stories we have been

I’m in love with stories we have been told bedtime stories that we never come

told bedtime stories that we never come

told bedtime stories that we never come to forget those dark cruel ones that

to forget those dark cruel ones that

to forget those dark cruel ones that have frightened us stay with us forever

have frightened us stay with us forever

have frightened us stay with us forever then we grow up to read our own stories

then we grow up to read our own stories

then we grow up to read our own stories before going to bed

before going to bed

before going to bed realizing later on that it’s time to

realizing later on that it’s time to

realizing later on that it’s time to create our own create our life of

create our own create our life of

create our own create our life of stories now leaving hope and positivity

stories now leaving hope and positivity

stories now leaving hope and positivity behind happy endings are indeed

behind happy endings are indeed

behind happy endings are indeed beautiful but I want to tell you what is

beautiful but I want to tell you what is

beautiful but I want to tell you what is left behind from broken hearts shattered

left behind from broken hearts shattered

left behind from broken hearts shattered Souls and permanent scars is nothing but

Souls and permanent scars is nothing but

Souls and permanent scars is nothing but marks of beauty as well this is my story

marks of beauty as well this is my story

marks of beauty as well this is my story store you for permanent score a store a

store you for permanent score a store a

store you for permanent score a store a story that I despised came to fall in

story that I despised came to fall in

story that I despised came to fall in love with aren’t those the stories that

love with aren’t those the stories that

love with aren’t those the stories that leave an impact the ones we cherish our

leave an impact the ones we cherish our

leave an impact the ones we cherish our people with scars aware of this

people with scars aware of this

people with scars aware of this do they feel beautiful because beauty is

do they feel beautiful because beauty is

do they feel beautiful because beauty is a feeling feeling that reflects who you

a feeling feeling that reflects who you

a feeling feeling that reflects who you are now unfortunately the majority of

are now unfortunately the majority of

are now unfortunately the majority of them don’t the majority is hurt insecure

them don’t the majority is hurt insecure

them don’t the majority is hurt insecure and depressed looking for ways to hide

and depressed looking for ways to hide

and depressed looking for ways to hide their scars to escape reality you’re

their scars to escape reality you’re

their scars to escape reality you’re dealing with souls crazy enough to

dealing with souls crazy enough to

dealing with souls crazy enough to believe they can change the past the

believe they can change the past the

believe they can change the past the damage that bullying could cause for

damage that bullying could cause for

damage that bullying could cause for children with scars is huge but let us

children with scars is huge but let us

children with scars is huge but let us not forget what they are capable of

not forget what they are capable of

not forget what they are capable of causing for themselves on a personal

causing for themselves on a personal

causing for themselves on a personal level is massive – scars have many

level is massive – scars have many

level is massive – scars have many negative psychological effects on

negative psychological effects on

negative psychological effects on children especially when they are

children especially when they are

children especially when they are victims of bullying and emotional abuse

victims of bullying and emotional abuse

victims of bullying and emotional abuse how can someone heal did I heal when I

how can someone heal did I heal when I

how can someone heal did I heal when I was one year and a half I was like

was one year and a half I was like

was one year and a half I was like probably this big I I was in an elevator

probably this big I I was in an elevator

probably this big I I was in an elevator with both my parents they were here

with both my parents they were here

with both my parents they were here right now and this is very traumatized

right now and this is very traumatized

right now and this is very traumatized for them the accident and it’s an old

for them the accident and it’s an old

for them the accident and it’s an old elevator

elevator

elevator it probably shook or something in my arm

it probably shook or something in my arm

it probably shook or something in my arm got stuck in the gap I fell on the

got stuck in the gap I fell on the

got stuck in the gap I fell on the ground in between the floor and the door

ground in between the floor and the door

ground in between the floor and the door was going to the second floor

was going to the second floor

was going to the second floor there is no stop button there’s nothing

there is no stop button there’s nothing

there is no stop button there’s nothing and now my elbow was crushed and my arm

and now my elbow was crushed and my arm

and now my elbow was crushed and my arm was literally hanging my dad was smart

was literally hanging my dad was smart

was literally hanging my dad was smart enough not to pull it off because

enough not to pull it off because

enough not to pull it off because knowing that it’s really stuck and it

knowing that it’s really stuck and it

knowing that it’s really stuck and it might I might lose my arm now they took

might I might lose my arm now they took

might I might lose my arm now they took me to the hospital and there was the

me to the hospital and there was the

me to the hospital and there was the probability that I would lose my arm and

probability that I would lose my arm and

probability that I would lose my arm and I also passed out they thought I was

I also passed out they thought I was

I also passed out they thought I was dead but Here I am so at the hospital

dead but Here I am so at the hospital

dead but Here I am so at the hospital they thought that I would no longer have

they thought that I would no longer have

they thought that I would no longer have my arm and this was very traumatizing my

my arm and this was very traumatizing my

my arm and this was very traumatizing my mother was pregnant with my brother but

mother was pregnant with my brother but

mother was pregnant with my brother but as I grew up I grew up with a scar and a

as I grew up I grew up with a scar and a

as I grew up I grew up with a scar and a twisted elbow that I thought was

twisted elbow that I thought was

twisted elbow that I thought was perfectly normal until people started

perfectly normal until people started

perfectly normal until people started pointing it out until I felt different

pointing it out until I felt different

pointing it out until I felt different till I felt inferior till I no longer

till I felt inferior till I no longer

till I felt inferior till I no longer accepted myself and I would walk with

accepted myself and I would walk with

accepted myself and I would walk with the thought that people would not notice

the thought that people would not notice

the thought that people would not notice me Gibran but would rather notice my

me Gibran but would rather notice my

me Gibran but would rather notice my scar it was very emotionally draining

scar it was very emotionally draining

scar it was very emotionally draining it’s it’s honestly an incident that left

it’s it’s honestly an incident that left

it’s it’s honestly an incident that left my heart lost between an unfair world of

my heart lost between an unfair world of

my heart lost between an unfair world of hate hurts and anger and a blessed world

hate hurts and anger and a blessed world

hate hurts and anger and a blessed world of love gratefulness and thankfulness

of love gratefulness and thankfulness

of love gratefulness and thankfulness why me now this is a question I’ve

why me now this is a question I’ve

why me now this is a question I’ve always asked why me

always asked why me

always asked why me and thank God you still have your arm

and thank God you still have your arm

and thank God you still have your arm that was their answer well one I’m an

that was their answer well one I’m an

that was their answer well one I’m an atheist and hence God is irrelevant and

atheist and hence God is irrelevant and

atheist and hence God is irrelevant and two I do believe I would be better off

two I do believe I would be better off

two I do believe I would be better off without a twisted elbow don’t you think

without a twisted elbow don’t you think

without a twisted elbow don’t you think no this is

I thank you I remember I approached my

I thank you I remember I approached my mom once and I said mom I need some

mom once and I said mom I need some

mom once and I said mom I need some money my father was there too she asked

money my father was there too she asked

money my father was there too she asked me what for I said I want to buy this

me what for I said I want to buy this

me what for I said I want to buy this rubber band thing to put around my arm

rubber band thing to put around my arm

rubber band thing to put around my arm when I go to the gym now my father died

when I go to the gym now my father died

when I go to the gym now my father died clay interferes yes sure son give him

clay interferes yes sure son give him

clay interferes yes sure son give him whatever he wants yellow now it’s

whatever he wants yellow now it’s

whatever he wants yellow now it’s ultimately impossible to say no to my

ultimately impossible to say no to my

ultimately impossible to say no to my father like look at him he’s a communist

father like look at him he’s a communist

father like look at him he’s a communist soldier he has his deep scary loud voice

soldier he has his deep scary loud voice

soldier he has his deep scary loud voice and he says something it’s even worse

and he says something it’s even worse

and he says something it’s even worse than all the Arabic teachers you’ve ever

than all the Arabic teachers you’ve ever

than all the Arabic teachers you’ve ever had it’s more terrifying is that one of

had it’s more terrifying is that one of

had it’s more terrifying is that one of my ex-girlfriends thought it was sexy no

my ex-girlfriends thought it was sexy no

my ex-girlfriends thought it was sexy no says a lot anyway I

says a lot anyway I

says a lot anyway I I bought it that day but I never wore it

I bought it that day but I never wore it

I bought it that day but I never wore it they knew I felt insecure at the gym and

they knew I felt insecure at the gym and

they knew I felt insecure at the gym and I wanted to hide my elbow but they

I wanted to hide my elbow but they

I wanted to hide my elbow but they didn’t come against my will and allowed

didn’t come against my will and allowed

didn’t come against my will and allowed me to do whatever I thought would make

me to do whatever I thought would make

me to do whatever I thought would make me feel comfortable around people now I

me feel comfortable around people now I

me feel comfortable around people now I don’t know if he’s my father is aware of

don’t know if he’s my father is aware of

don’t know if he’s my father is aware of the positive impact he’s leaving on me

the positive impact he’s leaving on me

the positive impact he’s leaving on me or not he’s much of not much of an

or not he’s much of not much of an

or not he’s much of not much of an emotional supporter but I would I would

emotional supporter but I would I would

emotional supporter but I would I would remember that when he would introduce me

remember that when he would introduce me

remember that when he would introduce me to someone he would tell them about the

to someone he would tell them about the

to someone he would tell them about the accident and then directly passionately

accident and then directly passionately

accident and then directly passionately tell them about my academic success and

tell them about my academic success and

tell them about my academic success and the potentially sees in me a mother that

the potentially sees in me a mother that

the potentially sees in me a mother that wants me not to use the elevator every

wants me not to use the elevator every

wants me not to use the elevator every time I go visit my grandma’s place and

time I go visit my grandma’s place and

time I go visit my grandma’s place and Friends that helped me supportive

Friends that helped me supportive

Friends that helped me supportive friends and teachers at school that

friends and teachers at school that

friends and teachers at school that would gather around and speak about how

would gather around and speak about how

would gather around and speak about how sexy Ascari’s and someone’s arm just

sexy Ascari’s and someone’s arm just

sexy Ascari’s and someone’s arm just like I would smile not because I

like I would smile not because I

like I would smile not because I believed what they said but because I

believed what they said but because I

believed what they said but because I have people like them in my life trying

have people like them in my life trying

have people like them in my life trying to put some effort trying to make me

to put some effort trying to make me

to put some effort trying to make me feel good but on the other hand I had

feel good but on the other hand I had

feel good but on the other hand I had people throughout school years trying to

people throughout school years trying to

people throughout school years trying to put me down trying to make fun of me

put me down trying to make fun of me

put me down trying to make fun of me knowing it can hurt me now the the sad

knowing it can hurt me now the the sad

knowing it can hurt me now the the sad thing is that it’s usually the closest

thing is that it’s usually the closest

thing is that it’s usually the closest ones to you and at work or when I’m out

ones to you and at work or when I’m out

ones to you and at work or when I’m out I would always hear that your doctor is

I would always hear that your doctor is

I would always hear that your doctor is an idiot and I would hear that you can

an idiot and I would hear that you can

an idiot and I would hear that you can go for operation again and fix your

go for operation again and fix your

go for operation again and fix your elbow

elbow

elbow so people convinced me that I have to

so people convinced me that I have to

so people convinced me that I have to fix the elbow that’s functioning 100%

fix the elbow that’s functioning 100%

fix the elbow that’s functioning 100% and they said I have to reach 18 so I

and they said I have to reach 18 so I

and they said I have to reach 18 so I have developed bone structure and I can

have developed bone structure and I can

have developed bone structure and I can go for surgery so few days after my 18th

go for surgery so few days after my 18th

go for surgery so few days after my 18th birthday I went and I’m lucky to meet

birthday I went and I’m lucky to meet

birthday I went and I’m lucky to meet one of the best doctors in the country

one of the best doctors in the country

one of the best doctors in the country that looked at me and said I’m not gonna

that looked at me and said I’m not gonna

that looked at me and said I’m not gonna do this surgery go do it somewhere else

do this surgery go do it somewhere else

do this surgery go do it somewhere else I would not do it now this is one of the

I would not do it now this is one of the

I would not do it now this is one of the ethical doctors we have in Lebanon that

ethical doctors we have in Lebanon that

ethical doctors we have in Lebanon that told me that I would not fix an elbow

told me that I would not fix an elbow

told me that I would not fix an elbow that’s already working and lose it in

that’s already working and lose it in

that’s already working and lose it in the process of making it look better so

the process of making it look better so

the process of making it look better so I came to understand that the problem

I came to understand that the problem

I came to understand that the problem was not my elbow the problem was the way

was not my elbow the problem was the way

was not my elbow the problem was the way I look at it alchemy of change am i

I look at it alchemy of change am i

I look at it alchemy of change am i there yet that’s a no did I completely

there yet that’s a no did I completely

there yet that’s a no did I completely heal that’s a no but you know what’s a

heal that’s a no but you know what’s a

heal that’s a no but you know what’s a big fat yes is that I took the first

big fat yes is that I took the first

big fat yes is that I took the first step the most important one is that I

step the most important one is that I

step the most important one is that I learned how to love myself because no

learned how to love myself because no

learned how to love myself because no one is gonna do it for you don’t ask me

one is gonna do it for you don’t ask me

one is gonna do it for you don’t ask me how because I don’t know but the moment

how because I don’t know but the moment

how because I don’t know but the moment you try the moment you look yourself in

you try the moment you look yourself in

you try the moment you look yourself in the mirror and change the way you think

the mirror and change the way you think

the mirror and change the way you think and look at my elbow and say it’s

and look at my elbow and say it’s

and look at my elbow and say it’s beautiful and I’m beautiful this is when

beautiful and I’m beautiful this is when

beautiful and I’m beautiful this is when your whole life changes this is when you

your whole life changes this is when you

your whole life changes this is when you start witnessing change my scars don’t

start witnessing change my scars don’t

start witnessing change my scars don’t define me this is an image of an arm

define me this is an image of an arm

define me this is an image of an arm tattoo I saw online the gummy thinking

tattoo I saw online the gummy thinking

tattoo I saw online the gummy thinking of what actually defines a person what

of what actually defines a person what

of what actually defines a person what could define you more than a story

could define you more than a story

could define you more than a story carved on your skin story that destroyed

carved on your skin story that destroyed

carved on your skin story that destroyed your character one that allowed you to

your character one that allowed you to

your character one that allowed you to grow and change I love that font it’s

grow and change I love that font it’s

grow and change I love that font it’s beautiful art my friend but may my

beautiful art my friend but may my

beautiful art my friend but may my imperfections define me I tell you and

imperfections define me I tell you and

imperfections define me I tell you and may my scars reveal the stories you need

may my scars reveal the stories you need

may my scars reveal the stories you need to know about me I would like to ask

to know about me I would like to ask

to know about me I would like to ask just each and every one of you to recall

just each and every one of you to recall

just each and every one of you to recall the most intimate and beautiful hug you

the most intimate and beautiful hug you

the most intimate and beautiful hug you have ever had now you might not remember

have ever had now you might not remember

have ever had now you might not remember the day you might not you may just

the day you might not you may just

the day you might not you may just remember the person the feeling

remember the person the feeling

remember the person the feeling now how did that make you feel if you

now how did that make you feel if you

now how did that make you feel if you don’t feel like that towards your own

don’t feel like that towards your own

don’t feel like that towards your own self each and every moment like a

self each and every moment like a

self each and every moment like a beautiful intimate hug there is

beautiful intimate hug there is

beautiful intimate hug there is something wrong please fix it please

something wrong please fix it please

something wrong please fix it please allow me to help you fix it thank you

allow me to help you fix it thank you

allow me to help you fix it thank you [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

”

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