Power of our Identities in leadership | Michelle Evans | TEDxFulbrightCanberra

I was in my mid-20s when I first became

I was in my mid-20s when I first became a line manager in an organization I had

a line manager in an organization I had

a line manager in an organization I had a small team of Aboriginal women who I

a small team of Aboriginal women who I

a small team of Aboriginal women who I was going to be the team leader for and

was going to be the team leader for and

was going to be the team leader for and I was so super keen to be the best team

I was so super keen to be the best team

I was so super keen to be the best team leader that my team had ever experienced

leader that my team had ever experienced

leader that my team had ever experienced so of course I started reading all the

so of course I started reading all the

so of course I started reading all the leadership books that I could get my

leadership books that I could get my

leadership books that I could get my hands on and then I went to the internet

hands on and then I went to the internet

hands on and then I went to the internet and typed in leading teams and read

and typed in leading teams and read

and typed in leading teams and read everything that I could find

everything that I could find

everything that I could find I was equipped to lead one of the ideas

I was equipped to lead one of the ideas

I was equipped to lead one of the ideas I had was to bring along some practices

I had was to bring along some practices

I had was to bring along some practices to our Monday morning team meetings the

to our Monday morning team meetings the

to our Monday morning team meetings the first one I bought along was called

first one I bought along was called

first one I bought along was called high-low where you give two examples of

high-low where you give two examples of

high-low where you give two examples of something great that happened to you on

something great that happened to you on

something great that happened to you on the weekend and one not-so-great thing

the weekend and one not-so-great thing

the weekend and one not-so-great thing and I thought being a role model and

and I thought being a role model and

and I thought being a role model and coaching people through this I should go

coaching people through this I should go

coaching people through this I should go first so talked about my weekend and as

first so talked about my weekend and as

first so talked about my weekend and as I turn to pass on to my colleague she

I turn to pass on to my colleague she

I turn to pass on to my colleague she just gave me this look I’m not talking

just gave me this look I’m not talking

just gave me this look I’m not talking about my weekend at the team meeting she

about my weekend at the team meeting she

about my weekend at the team meeting she said well I was undeterred I had another

said well I was undeterred I had another

said well I was undeterred I had another idea and the next week another and

idea and the next week another and

idea and the next week another and another and another and the next week

another and another and the next week

another and another and the next week and it went on until I myself became

and it went on until I myself became

and it went on until I myself became completely fatigued and disillusioned by

completely fatigued and disillusioned by

completely fatigued and disillusioned by this way of leading teams I had formed

this way of leading teams I had formed

this way of leading teams I had formed this kind of leader identity that I

this kind of leader identity that I

this kind of leader identity that I thought was important for being a team

thought was important for being a team

thought was important for being a team leader that my organization expected me

leader that my organization expected me

leader that my organization expected me to be but it was actually getting in the

to be but it was actually getting in the

to be but it was actually getting in the way our team already had its own shape

way our team already had its own shape

way our team already had its own shape and rhythm to it and I was the one

and rhythm to it and I was the one

and rhythm to it and I was the one through trying to control it that was

through trying to control it that was

through trying to control it that was making a big barrier to that

making a big barrier to that

making a big barrier to that communication and connection leadership

communication and connection leadership

communication and connection leadership emerges between people it arises from a

emerges between people it arises from a

emerges between people it arises from a need an opportunity from a situation but

need an opportunity from a situation but

need an opportunity from a situation but if we are so wedded to a particular

if we are so wedded to a particular

if we are so wedded to a particular leader identity

leader identity

leader identity can often miss these moments and get in

can often miss these moments and get in

can often miss these moments and get in the way of them earlier in my career I

the way of them earlier in my career I

the way of them earlier in my career I had been a station manager of a

had been a station manager of a

had been a station manager of a community radio station it was an

community radio station it was an

community radio station it was an aspirant station we were aspiring to be

aspirant station we were aspiring to be

aspirant station we were aspiring to be a permanent licensed station it was

a permanent licensed station it was

a permanent licensed station it was called three cool and deadly based in

called three cool and deadly based in

called three cool and deadly based in Melbourne and I was super keen of course

Melbourne and I was super keen of course

Melbourne and I was super keen of course to make the best-ever program schedule

to make the best-ever program schedule

to make the best-ever program schedule that you had seen and it was such an

that you had seen and it was such an

that you had seen and it was such an exciting time for me working in

exciting time for me working in

exciting time for me working in community with people thinking about you

community with people thinking about you

community with people thinking about you know what were their interests and

know what were their interests and

know what were their interests and passions how are we going to bring this

passions how are we going to bring this

passions how are we going to bring this week-long radio programs alive

week-long radio programs alive

week-long radio programs alive my job was to not only train people in

my job was to not only train people in

my job was to not only train people in how to do radio but to think about what

how to do radio but to think about what

how to do radio but to think about what the programs were going to be and who

the programs were going to be and who

the programs were going to be and who more importantly who we were actually

more importantly who we were actually

more importantly who we were actually talking to who were going to reach what

talking to who were going to reach what

talking to who were going to reach what ended up being program was so cool we

ended up being program was so cool we

ended up being program was so cool we had a retro music cooking show we had a

had a retro music cooking show we had a

had a retro music cooking show we had a single mothers breakfast show we had a

single mothers breakfast show we had a

single mothers breakfast show we had a crew lesbian talk show we had a

crew lesbian talk show we had a

crew lesbian talk show we had a Aboriginal football show and a psychic

Aboriginal football show and a psychic

Aboriginal football show and a psychic connection show who we are our

connection show who we are our

connection show who we are our identities and who our colleagues are in

identities and who our colleagues are in

identities and who our colleagues are in all of their diverse and quirky and

all of their diverse and quirky and

all of their diverse and quirky and sometimes resistant ways are important

sometimes resistant ways are important

sometimes resistant ways are important to how we understand the world how we

to how we understand the world how we

to how we understand the world how we see the world how we shape it and that’s

see the world how we shape it and that’s

see the world how we shape it and that’s important to our leadership work I was

important to our leadership work I was

important to our leadership work I was seven when I moved from public education

seven when I moved from public education

seven when I moved from public education into the Catholic education system and

into the Catholic education system and

into the Catholic education system and it really disrupted my sense of identity

it really disrupted my sense of identity

it really disrupted my sense of identity in the public system I was what I would

in the public system I was what I would

in the public system I was what I would class a very confident little girl very

class a very confident little girl very

class a very confident little girl very confident I would be asked to answer

confident I would be asked to answer

confident I would be asked to answer questions often in class I was the lead

questions often in class I was the lead

questions often in class I was the lead in two school plays each year running I

in two school plays each year running I

in two school plays each year running I was even selected at one point to be the

was even selected at one point to be the

was even selected at one point to be the bus monitor and I was given a pen and

bus monitor and I was given a pen and

bus monitor and I was given a pen and paper in the same

paper in the same

paper in the same to tell this teachers who have been

to tell this teachers who have been

to tell this teachers who have been bullies on the bus that day there was

bullies on the bus that day there was

bullies on the bus that day there was always one particular person that was

always one particular person that was

always one particular person that was top of my list but when I moved into the

top of my list but when I moved into the

top of my list but when I moved into the Catholic system

Catholic system

Catholic system I felt really different about myself

I felt really different about myself

I felt really different about myself I got quieter and I just couldn’t stand

I got quieter and I just couldn’t stand

I got quieter and I just couldn’t stand out I wasn’t like the other people

out I wasn’t like the other people

out I wasn’t like the other people perhaps I couldn’t work it out was it

perhaps I couldn’t work it out was it

perhaps I couldn’t work it out was it because of my socioeconomic background

because of my socioeconomic background

because of my socioeconomic background or my cultural identity something was

or my cultural identity something was

or my cultural identity something was different here I wasn’t called upon to

different here I wasn’t called upon to

different here I wasn’t called upon to answer things I’ve certainly wasn’t

answer things I’ve certainly wasn’t

answer things I’ve certainly wasn’t called upon to lead who we are our

called upon to lead who we are our

called upon to lead who we are our identities matter to the way that people

identities matter to the way that people

identities matter to the way that people see us and perceive what we can do in

see us and perceive what we can do in

see us and perceive what we can do in the world people look to us and they

the world people look to us and they

the world people look to us and they think what contribution we can make and

think what contribution we can make and

think what contribution we can make and that can limit our possibilities as well

that can limit our possibilities as well

that can limit our possibilities as well sometimes we’re not aware of the impact

sometimes we’re not aware of the impact

sometimes we’re not aware of the impact that we can have on other people when I

that we can have on other people when I

that we can have on other people when I work with indigenous leaders in

work with indigenous leaders in

work with indigenous leaders in Australia I get told about the crushing

Australia I get told about the crushing

Australia I get told about the crushing expectations and the limiting

expectations and the limiting

expectations and the limiting stereotypes that often render the

stereotypes that often render the

stereotypes that often render the leadership work that they are doing

leadership work that they are doing

leadership work that they are doing every day invisible

every day invisible

every day invisible because we’re looking through the

because we’re looking through the

because we’re looking through the goggles of conventional leadership

goggles of conventional leadership

goggles of conventional leadership sometimes we’re not aware of the impact

sometimes we’re not aware of the impact

sometimes we’re not aware of the impact that we have on others just simply by

that we have on others just simply by

that we have on others just simply by being who we are that that can inspire

being who we are that that can inspire

being who we are that that can inspire others

others

others Aboriginal boxer Lionel Rose said it

Aboriginal boxer Lionel Rose said it

Aboriginal boxer Lionel Rose said it best when he said I didn’t realize how

best when he said I didn’t realize how

best when he said I didn’t realize how much of an impact that I had on

much of an impact that I had on

much of an impact that I had on Aboriginal people until I did a bit of

Aboriginal people until I did a bit of

Aboriginal people until I did a bit of traveling the way that people would look

traveling the way that people would look

traveling the way that people would look at me and what I would give to them was

at me and what I would give to them was

at me and what I would give to them was real honor who we are our identities

real honor who we are our identities

real honor who we are our identities like bridges into our shared ID

like bridges into our shared ID

like bridges into our shared ID entity communities we share something

entity communities we share something

entity communities we share something together but it is our individual

together but it is our individual

together but it is our individual differences that we bring to our shared

differences that we bring to our shared

differences that we bring to our shared communities that can spark moments of

communities that can spark moments of

communities that can spark moments of innovation and leadership I was asked to

innovation and leadership I was asked to

innovation and leadership I was asked to come and be a guest note speaker at the

come and be a guest note speaker at the

come and be a guest note speaker at the Desert Art Center conference in Alice

Desert Art Center conference in Alice

Desert Art Center conference in Alice Springs not very long after I finished

Springs not very long after I finished

Springs not very long after I finished my PhD I had spent four years working on

my PhD I had spent four years working on

my PhD I had spent four years working on a theory of indigenous arts leadership

a theory of indigenous arts leadership

a theory of indigenous arts leadership having worked with artists across

having worked with artists across

having worked with artists across Australia in all different art forms and

Australia in all different art forms and

Australia in all different art forms and I was excited to share what I had

I was excited to share what I had

I was excited to share what I had learned so I went along to the event and

learned so I went along to the event and

learned so I went along to the event and the room was packed much like this

the room was packed much like this

the room was packed much like this evening and I was very excited and I

evening and I was very excited and I

evening and I was very excited and I looked out and there were two really

looked out and there were two really

looked out and there were two really massive tables in front of me and they

massive tables in front of me and they

massive tables in front of me and they were the two major language groups

were the two major language groups

were the two major language groups represented here and there were

represented here and there were

represented here and there were interpreters at each of the tables and

interpreters at each of the tables and

interpreters at each of the tables and so I began my talk and I wouldn’t have

so I began my talk and I wouldn’t have

so I began my talk and I wouldn’t have gotten even five minutes into it when

gotten even five minutes into it when

gotten even five minutes into it when suddenly a hand rose from one of the

suddenly a hand rose from one of the

suddenly a hand rose from one of the tables

tables

tables it was the pitch and Jarra language

it was the pitch and Jarra language

it was the pitch and Jarra language group table and the hand was the hand of

group table and the hand was the hand of

group table and the hand was the hand of an elder an artist a senior artist and a

an elder an artist a senior artist and a

an elder an artist a senior artist and a board member and he was looking at me

board member and he was looking at me

board member and he was looking at me and my heart was racing everything

and my heart was racing everything

and my heart was racing everything stopped in that room at that moment now

stopped in that room at that moment now

stopped in that room at that moment now I was trying to be present I was trying

I was trying to be present I was trying

I was trying to be present I was trying not to let my anxiety run away with me

not to let my anxiety run away with me

not to let my anxiety run away with me into self-doubt and criticism but I was

into self-doubt and criticism but I was

into self-doubt and criticism but I was certainly feeling like an outsider in

certainly feeling like an outsider in

certainly feeling like an outsider in that moment despite my shared Aboriginal

that moment despite my shared Aboriginal

that moment despite my shared Aboriginal identity in the room the elder spoke to

identity in the room the elder spoke to

identity in the room the elder spoke to the interpreter and took a bit of time

the interpreter and took a bit of time

the interpreter and took a bit of time and then she turned to me and I moved in

and then she turned to me and I moved in

and then she turned to me and I moved in and she said the gentleman wishes for

and she said the gentleman wishes for

and she said the gentleman wishes for you to have your talk translated but I

you to have your talk translated but I

you to have your talk translated but I need you to slow down I need you not to

need you to slow down I need you not to

need you to slow down I need you not to race along please

race along please

race along please the gentleman thinks that your talk

the gentleman thinks that your talk

the gentleman thinks that your talk seems important but it’s a bit abstract

seems important but it’s a bit abstract

seems important but it’s a bit abstract what you’re saying and it’s very complex

what you’re saying and it’s very complex

what you’re saying and it’s very complex to translate so please can you give more

to translate so please can you give more

to translate so please can you give more examples what a transformative moment

what happened over the next 45 minutes

what happened over the next 45 minutes was a dialogue between me and the

was a dialogue between me and the

was a dialogue between me and the audience and the interpreters and I gave

audience and the interpreters and I gave

audience and the interpreters and I gave a lot of examples and a lot of people

a lot of examples and a lot of people

a lot of examples and a lot of people also gave examples and we had a look at

also gave examples and we had a look at

also gave examples and we had a look at the theory and people had ideas they

the theory and people had ideas they

the theory and people had ideas they wanted to get rid of that and add that

wanted to get rid of that and add that

wanted to get rid of that and add that everyone was involved we were theorizing

everyone was involved we were theorizing

everyone was involved we were theorizing together and it was extraordinary what

together and it was extraordinary what

together and it was extraordinary what could have been a performance of my

could have been a performance of my

could have been a performance of my expertise perhaps falling flat on its

expertise perhaps falling flat on its

expertise perhaps falling flat on its face and forgotten in a second became an

face and forgotten in a second became an

face and forgotten in a second became an opportunity for a conversation about who

opportunity for a conversation about who

opportunity for a conversation about who we are and how our identities as

we are and how our identities as

we are and how our identities as Aboriginal people matter to our

Aboriginal people matter to our

Aboriginal people matter to our leadership practice so I wanted to ask

leadership practice so I wanted to ask

leadership practice so I wanted to ask you this evening from where do you

you this evening from where do you

you this evening from where do you practice leadership from what places

practice leadership from what places

practice leadership from what places from what groups from what sources of

from what groups from what sources of

from what groups from what sources of authority do you practice leadership the

authority do you practice leadership the

authority do you practice leadership the next time you feel that there is this

next time you feel that there is this

next time you feel that there is this moment arising where you can step

moment arising where you can step

moment arising where you can step forward into leadership I want you to

forward into leadership I want you to

forward into leadership I want you to think about who you are and what you can

think about who you are and what you can

think about who you are and what you can bring to that moment that is

bring to that moment that is

bring to that moment that is transformative