[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] skinning these four silver linings so
skinning these four silver linings so
skinning these four silver linings so many times my six-year-old knees bled
many times my six-year-old knees bled
many times my six-year-old knees bled against the best of themselves scarring
against the best of themselves scarring
against the best of themselves scarring hoping I wouldn’t peel my curiosity off
hoping I wouldn’t peel my curiosity off
hoping I wouldn’t peel my curiosity off begging me to let them heal before I
begging me to let them heal before I
begging me to let them heal before I remember at the time I’m sure all I
remember at the time I’m sure all I
remember at the time I’m sure all I wanted to see was what made me so pink
wanted to see was what made me so pink
wanted to see was what made me so pink underneath all that brown what part of
underneath all that brown what part of
underneath all that brown what part of me blushed under an unsteady canopy of
me blushed under an unsteady canopy of
me blushed under an unsteady canopy of dried blood if it was growing so well
dried blood if it was growing so well
dried blood if it was growing so well why did it need to hide now I imagine
why did it need to hide now I imagine
why did it need to hide now I imagine our bodies are at constant war the mind
our bodies are at constant war the mind
our bodies are at constant war the mind knows well before the rest of me how
knows well before the rest of me how
knows well before the rest of me how much it can swallow before purging is
much it can swallow before purging is
much it can swallow before purging is it’s only instinct how much quiet can
it’s only instinct how much quiet can
it’s only instinct how much quiet can blanket over the rattling ghost tracks
blanket over the rattling ghost tracks
blanket over the rattling ghost tracks across a myriad of brain damage how long
across a myriad of brain damage how long
across a myriad of brain damage how long it must hide ashamed of its healing
it must hide ashamed of its healing
it must hide ashamed of its healing until it can open its shutters and feel
until it can open its shutters and feel
until it can open its shutters and feel human again when the scabs fell the
human again when the scabs fell the
human again when the scabs fell the sting soon became the milky
sting soon became the milky
sting soon became the milky forgetfulness of childhood amnesia
forgetfulness of childhood amnesia
forgetfulness of childhood amnesia repair follows itself like we imagined
repair follows itself like we imagined
repair follows itself like we imagined misguided satellites chasing after stars
misguided satellites chasing after stars
misguided satellites chasing after stars trauma imprints itself in our bodies in
trauma imprints itself in our bodies in
trauma imprints itself in our bodies in any way the memory will stick it cannot
any way the memory will stick it cannot
any way the memory will stick it cannot be forgotten for years we have grown
be forgotten for years we have grown
be forgotten for years we have grown like fingers from a loosening fist
like fingers from a loosening fist
like fingers from a loosening fist remember remember remember pain is
remember remember remember pain is
remember remember remember pain is memory why else would we call it growing
memory why else would we call it growing
memory why else would we call it growing pains
my name is Rouge’s affair and I am a
my name is Rouge’s affair and I am a spoken word poet based in Islamabad
spoken word poet based in Islamabad
spoken word poet based in Islamabad head stern and eyebrows raised every
head stern and eyebrows raised every
head stern and eyebrows raised every time people hear that phrase spoken word
time people hear that phrase spoken word
time people hear that phrase spoken word poet but very simply spoken word poetry
poet but very simply spoken word poetry
poet but very simply spoken word poetry is poetry that simply cannot keep its
is poetry that simply cannot keep its
is poetry that simply cannot keep its hands to itself on a page stories that
hands to itself on a page stories that
hands to itself on a page stories that require performance a conduit for their
require performance a conduit for their
require performance a conduit for their full effect to reach people so they take
full effect to reach people so they take
full effect to reach people so they take form in a human body it’s poetry given a
form in a human body it’s poetry given a
form in a human body it’s poetry given a literal voice a tidbit of history for
literal voice a tidbit of history for
literal voice a tidbit of history for you all spoken word poetry has been
you all spoken word poetry has been
you all spoken word poetry has been around in this part of the world for
around in this part of the world for
around in this part of the world for centuries
centuries
centuries it’s just existed outside of English for
it’s just existed outside of English for
it’s just existed outside of English for the most part I still remember the first
the most part I still remember the first
the most part I still remember the first time I saw people reacting to Munir
time I saw people reacting to Munir
time I saw people reacting to Munir Niazi viscerally performing his home I
Niazi viscerally performing his home I
Niazi viscerally performing his home I Misha day occurs day down so this new
Misha day occurs day down so this new
Misha day occurs day down so this new wave of storytelling in English was
wave of storytelling in English was
wave of storytelling in English was built on an alongside an existing
built on an alongside an existing
built on an alongside an existing cultivated culture by our most renowned
cultivated culture by our most renowned
cultivated culture by our most renowned local poets I’m also a third-year
local poets I’m also a third-year
local poets I’m also a third-year medical student with an undying devotion
medical student with an undying devotion
medical student with an undying devotion to mental health so a lot of the time I
to mental health so a lot of the time I
to mental health so a lot of the time I find myself ricocheting between a cold
find myself ricocheting between a cold
find myself ricocheting between a cold hard science and a more mellow colorful
hard science and a more mellow colorful
hard science and a more mellow colorful world of art and poetry over the years
world of art and poetry over the years
world of art and poetry over the years I’ve turned this violent oscillation
I’ve turned this violent oscillation
I’ve turned this violent oscillation between the two perceived extremes into
between the two perceived extremes into
between the two perceived extremes into my biggest strength
my biggest strength
my biggest strength I now juxtapose biological processes of
I now juxtapose biological processes of
I now juxtapose biological processes of growth and healing over acts of physical
growth and healing over acts of physical
growth and healing over acts of physical and psychological self-care and some of
and psychological self-care and some of
and psychological self-care and some of my work my work I believe is about
my work my work I believe is about
my work my work I believe is about reclaiming my stories as honestly and
reclaiming my stories as honestly and
reclaiming my stories as honestly and sincerely as possible contrary to
sincerely as possible contrary to
sincerely as possible contrary to popular belief this sharing this process
popular belief this sharing this process
popular belief this sharing this process of forgiveness and acceptance towards
of forgiveness and acceptance towards
of forgiveness and acceptance towards myself is a deeply personal act but when
myself is a deeply personal act but when
myself is a deeply personal act but when it’s done on a platform like this it
it’s done on a platform like this it
it’s done on a platform like this it moves people so deeply we now consider
moves people so deeply we now consider
moves people so deeply we now consider it a political one that’s a lot of
it a political one that’s a lot of
it a political one that’s a lot of pressure for a quiet revolution like
pressure for a quiet revolution like
pressure for a quiet revolution like that and it also makes us wonder about
that and it also makes us wonder about
that and it also makes us wonder about the fragility of our existing power
the fragility of our existing power
the fragility of our existing power structures empowering as that is it’s
structures empowering as that is it’s
structures empowering as that is it’s also humbling we live in a day and
also humbling we live in a day and
also humbling we live in a day and we’re social media platforms have
we’re social media platforms have
we’re social media platforms have allowed us to witness very brave
allowed us to witness very brave
allowed us to witness very brave declarations of people’s hardships how
declarations of people’s hardships how
declarations of people’s hardships how they overcame them and how they often
they overcame them and how they often
they overcame them and how they often don’t we are slowly beginning to
don’t we are slowly beginning to
don’t we are slowly beginning to challenge something I like to call the
challenge something I like to call the
challenge something I like to call the human condition binary which was a
human condition binary which was a
human condition binary which was a misguided attempt at making categorizing
misguided attempt at making categorizing
misguided attempt at making categorizing human behavior simpler now we’re
human behavior simpler now we’re
human behavior simpler now we’re beginning to accept the messy irrational
beginning to accept the messy irrational
beginning to accept the messy irrational complicated spectrum of human emotion
complicated spectrum of human emotion
complicated spectrum of human emotion now we don’t consider each other good or
now we don’t consider each other good or
now we don’t consider each other good or bad normal or otherwise we’ve reclaimed
bad normal or otherwise we’ve reclaimed
bad normal or otherwise we’ve reclaimed our gray areas and dare to accept them
our gray areas and dare to accept them
our gray areas and dare to accept them loudly my work explores that in hopes of
loudly my work explores that in hopes of
loudly my work explores that in hopes of accepting myself and maybe someday
accepting myself and maybe someday
accepting myself and maybe someday extending that comfort to other people
extending that comfort to other people
extending that comfort to other people as we now challenge what normal means to
as we now challenge what normal means to
as we now challenge what normal means to us it’s important to look around us and
us it’s important to look around us and
us it’s important to look around us and see human beings for what they are not
see human beings for what they are not
see human beings for what they are not complicated projects to fix or a damsel
complicated projects to fix or a damsel
complicated projects to fix or a damsel in distress to say but rather entire
in distress to say but rather entire
in distress to say but rather entire world’s wrapped in human skin worthy of
world’s wrapped in human skin worthy of
world’s wrapped in human skin worthy of love and care I would like to thank Ted
love and care I would like to thank Ted
love and care I would like to thank Ted and the host team for being as kind as
and the host team for being as kind as
and the host team for being as kind as they have in giving me this humbling
they have in giving me this humbling
they have in giving me this humbling opportunity to perform for you I would
opportunity to perform for you I would
opportunity to perform for you I would now like to share the poem that place
now like to share the poem that place
now like to share the poem that place second in the Pakistan Poetry Slam 2016
second in the Pakistan Poetry Slam 2016
second in the Pakistan Poetry Slam 2016 which was an act of defiance in itself
which was an act of defiance in itself
which was an act of defiance in itself this is nine reminders to love myself
this is nine reminders to love myself
this is nine reminders to love myself one when I talked to myself in
one when I talked to myself in
one when I talked to myself in kindergarten my teacher caught me
kindergarten my teacher caught me
kindergarten my teacher caught me nestled between crayons and towers of
nestled between crayons and towers of
nestled between crayons and towers of neatly stacked voodoo drawings darting
neatly stacked voodoo drawings darting
neatly stacked voodoo drawings darting to find the perfect color amusing
to find the perfect color amusing
to find the perfect color amusing mommies feed their babies through the
mommies feed their babies through the
mommies feed their babies through the bellybutton that’s why I have one but
bellybutton that’s why I have one but
bellybutton that’s why I have one but they cry I cried because I came out of
they cry I cried because I came out of
they cry I cried because I came out of my mommy’s mouth
my mommy’s mouth
my mommy’s mouth my mother was called to school that day
my mother was called to school that day
my mother was called to school that day the teacher explained that I had been
the teacher explained that I had been
the teacher explained that I had been stammering a lie and I needed fixing so
stammering a lie and I needed fixing so
stammering a lie and I needed fixing so my mother halted my stammer in its
my mother halted my stammer in its
my mother halted my stammer in its tracks and didn’t hold back when she
tracks and didn’t hold back when she
tracks and didn’t hold back when she remarked with a head that base
remarked with a head that base
remarked with a head that base you never would have left my body betta
you never would have left my body betta
you never would have left my body betta do the gold of the Sun is painful to me
do the gold of the Sun is painful to me
do the gold of the Sun is painful to me back home the Marla exhausted monsoon
back home the Marla exhausted monsoon
back home the Marla exhausted monsoon makes blue skies more and gray I don’t
makes blue skies more and gray I don’t
makes blue skies more and gray I don’t trust the color wheel anymore there are
trust the color wheel anymore there are
trust the color wheel anymore there are more comic herbs in my rain dampened
more comic herbs in my rain dampened
more comic herbs in my rain dampened hair than this body can ever dream of
hair than this body can ever dream of
hair than this body can ever dream of showing three I once heard of a mother
showing three I once heard of a mother
showing three I once heard of a mother dying of a big heart I am sure our fate
dying of a big heart I am sure our fate
dying of a big heart I am sure our fate was written together for I am beautiful
was written together for I am beautiful
was written together for I am beautiful in a way I cannot fathom fives but you
in a way I cannot fathom fives but you
in a way I cannot fathom fives but you see I am beautiful in a way I cannot
see I am beautiful in a way I cannot
see I am beautiful in a way I cannot fathom six there are very few things
fathom six there are very few things
fathom six there are very few things that I don’t understand
that I don’t understand
that I don’t understand seven I was born in the spring of 96 and
seven I was born in the spring of 96 and
seven I was born in the spring of 96 and there has never been another quite the
there has never been another quite the
there has never been another quite the same eight four Springs after this my
same eight four Springs after this my
same eight four Springs after this my father had me ride on the back of his
father had me ride on the back of his
father had me ride on the back of his neon blue Vespa to the boulevard that
neon blue Vespa to the boulevard that
neon blue Vespa to the boulevard that never was again the wind ran crude
never was again the wind ran crude
never was again the wind ran crude fingers through my bob hair but it was
fingers through my bob hair but it was
fingers through my bob hair but it was more affection than I was accustomed to
more affection than I was accustomed to
more affection than I was accustomed to the half baked concrete lay vacant like
the half baked concrete lay vacant like
the half baked concrete lay vacant like the list of mistakes I was yet to make
the list of mistakes I was yet to make
the list of mistakes I was yet to make and above me stretch the intertwined
and above me stretch the intertwined
and above me stretch the intertwined woody fingers of nature’s lovers
woody fingers of nature’s lovers
woody fingers of nature’s lovers punctuated with a shy green you know I
punctuated with a shy green you know I
punctuated with a shy green you know I call it bravery craning my neck to it
call it bravery craning my neck to it
call it bravery craning my neck to it act in my framework of four-year-old
act in my framework of four-year-old
act in my framework of four-year-old bones to see that sometimes the color
bones to see that sometimes the color
bones to see that sometimes the color wheel doesn’t lie and if you let trees
wheel doesn’t lie and if you let trees
wheel doesn’t lie and if you let trees grow tall enough they lean in towards
grow tall enough they lean in towards
grow tall enough they lean in towards themselves and entangle their lovers
themselves and entangle their lovers
themselves and entangle their lovers star crossed across pavement and blue
star crossed across pavement and blue
star crossed across pavement and blue Vespas nine sometimes they’ll make the
Vespas nine sometimes they’ll make the
Vespas nine sometimes they’ll make the gold of the Sun hurt less I swear to my
gold of the Sun hurt less I swear to my
gold of the Sun hurt less I swear to my god awful concept of conception that I
god awful concept of conception that I
god awful concept of conception that I was brave enough to tell that that
was brave enough to tell that that
was brave enough to tell that that blessed day the Sun
blessed day the Sun
blessed day the Sun was green thank you
was green thank you
was green thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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