[Music] [Applause]
the first time I as a white person ever
the first time I as a white person ever danced with a person of color was in the
danced with a person of color was in the
danced with a person of color was in the streets of South Africa thousands of
streets of South Africa thousands of
streets of South Africa thousands of people lined the streets from all
people lined the streets from all
people lined the streets from all different backgrounds socioeconomic
different backgrounds socioeconomic
different backgrounds socioeconomic religion gender and everyone came
religion gender and everyone came
religion gender and everyone came together to celebrate the end of an
together to celebrate the end of an
together to celebrate the end of an oppressive political area in of
oppressive political area in of
oppressive political area in of apartheid it was a joyful moment it was
apartheid it was a joyful moment it was
apartheid it was a joyful moment it was also the moment when I was starting to
also the moment when I was starting to
also the moment when I was starting to fall in love with a guy that I was going
fall in love with a guy that I was going
fall in love with a guy that I was going to marry and enroll in design school so
to marry and enroll in design school so
to marry and enroll in design school so I had this I envisioned a beautiful
I had this I envisioned a beautiful
I had this I envisioned a beautiful future of racial integration of doing
future of racial integration of doing
future of racial integration of doing meaningful work and of being happily
meaningful work and of being happily
meaningful work and of being happily married fast forward 15 years and
married fast forward 15 years and
married fast forward 15 years and instead of standing in the incarnation
instead of standing in the incarnation
instead of standing in the incarnation of my dream I awakened to its antithesis
of my dream I awakened to its antithesis
of my dream I awakened to its antithesis my country is still deeply divided along
my country is still deeply divided along
my country is still deeply divided along racial and socio-economic lines my work
racial and socio-economic lines my work
racial and socio-economic lines my work does not close the economic gap but keep
does not close the economic gap but keep
does not close the economic gap but keep people in poverty and the happily ever
people in poverty and the happily ever
people in poverty and the happily ever after thing didn’t happen for me so I
after thing didn’t happen for me so I
after thing didn’t happen for me so I decided I need to change so I changed
decided I need to change so I changed
decided I need to change so I changed everything I could I changed countenance
everything I could I changed countenance
everything I could I changed countenance and hemispheres
and hemispheres
and hemispheres I changed hairstyles I changed careers I
I changed hairstyles I changed careers I
I changed hairstyles I changed careers I got divorced and got a new boyfriend
got divorced and got a new boyfriend
got divorced and got a new boyfriend and very importantly I changed from PC
and very importantly I changed from PC
and very importantly I changed from PC to Mac
and I wish that I can tell you that a
and I wish that I can tell you that a triumphant ending to my change story but
triumphant ending to my change story but
triumphant ending to my change story but no my first train ride out of Chicago
no my first train ride out of Chicago
no my first train ride out of Chicago tells me that the u.s. is still deeply
tells me that the u.s. is still deeply
tells me that the u.s. is still deeply encrypted with racial segregation and
encrypted with racial segregation and
encrypted with racial segregation and oppression my new job in my new job I
oppression my new job in my new job I
oppression my new job in my new job I find my hope that corporate America is
find my hope that corporate America is
find my hope that corporate America is free to act in the best interest of the
free to act in the best interest of the
free to act in the best interest of the world just died in the first few
world just died in the first few
world just died in the first few meetings and my new relationship does
meetings and my new relationship does
meetings and my new relationship does not bear fruit it dies quickly because I
not bear fruit it dies quickly because I
not bear fruit it dies quickly because I am the one giving up my voice to keep
am the one giving up my voice to keep
am the one giving up my voice to keep the peace and it’s unsustainable so I
the peace and it’s unsustainable so I
the peace and it’s unsustainable so I feel like Trust is broken between me and
feel like Trust is broken between me and
feel like Trust is broken between me and the world why is it so incredibly
the world why is it so incredibly
the world why is it so incredibly difficult for us as humans to be
difficult for us as humans to be
difficult for us as humans to be grounded in a sense of sufficiency to
grounded in a sense of sufficiency to
grounded in a sense of sufficiency to notice our interdependency and really
notice our interdependency and really
notice our interdependency and really take care of one another
take care of one another
take care of one another this question really matters to me
this question really matters to me
this question really matters to me because I come from a long lineage of
because I come from a long lineage of
because I come from a long lineage of people who have taken power over one
people who have taken power over one
people who have taken power over one another in my lifetime I experienced men
another in my lifetime I experienced men
another in my lifetime I experienced men taking power over women
taking power over women
taking power over women my parents white people were taking
my parents white people were taking
my parents white people were taking power by law over people of color my
power by law over people of color my
power by law over people of color my great-grandparents were talked into
great-grandparents were talked into
great-grandparents were talked into concentration camps by the British and
concentration camps by the British and
concentration camps by the British and my great-great grand grand papa in
my great-great grand grand papa in
my great-great grand grand papa in France was sucked out of Europe by the
France was sucked out of Europe by the
France was sucked out of Europe by the Catholics and then our great-great
Catholics and then our great-great
Catholics and then our great-great great-great grandparents the Homo
great-great grandparents the Homo
great-great grandparents the Homo sapiens killed off all the Homo erectus
are we and I’m not even talking about
are we and I’m not even talking about environmental harm are we as a species
environmental harm are we as a species
environmental harm are we as a species doomed to repeat our patterns of taking
doomed to repeat our patterns of taking
doomed to repeat our patterns of taking power over one another for our own
power over one another for our own
power over one another for our own success or well-being we are the ones
success or well-being we are the ones
success or well-being we are the ones enacting those patterns they are not
enacting those patterns they are not
enacting those patterns they are not happening to us we are the world so if
happening to us we are the world so if
happening to us we are the world so if we as individuals and collectors and
we as individuals and collectors and
we as individuals and collectors and groups enact patterns of exploitation if
groups enact patterns of exploitation if
groups enact patterns of exploitation if we enact patterns of of displacement or
we enact patterns of of displacement or
we enact patterns of of displacement or if we enact patterns of segregation
then it doesn’t make sense to believe
then it doesn’t make sense to believe that a positive societal shift alone
that a positive societal shift alone
that a positive societal shift alone will come from an outside force an
will come from an outside force an
will come from an outside force an outside force like a great hero or the
outside force like a great hero or the
outside force like a great hero or the intervention of a deity or that just new
intervention of a deity or that just new
intervention of a deity or that just new technology that we are going to discover
technology that we are going to discover
technology that we are going to discover all the things that you’ve probably all
all the things that you’ve probably all
all the things that you’ve probably all experienced a new department right the
experienced a new department right the
experienced a new department right the patterns that we are enacting is made up
patterns that we are enacting is made up
patterns that we are enacting is made up of us and if we’re constantly deferring
of us and if we’re constantly deferring
of us and if we’re constantly deferring our hope and our power to something
our hope and our power to something
our hope and our power to something outside of us that’s going to change it
outside of us that’s going to change it
outside of us that’s going to change it we not only just empower ourselves we
we not only just empower ourselves we
we not only just empower ourselves we miss out on the delicious wonderful
miss out on the delicious wonderful
miss out on the delicious wonderful difficult opportunity to become and
difficult opportunity to become and
difficult opportunity to become and create the change we want to see because
create the change we want to see because
create the change we want to see because we can become steep ourselves in our
we can become steep ourselves in our
we can become steep ourselves in our sufficiency notice our into dependency
sufficiency notice our into dependency
sufficiency notice our into dependency and act with great care and kindness and
and act with great care and kindness and
and act with great care and kindness and honesty to one another the question then
honesty to one another the question then
honesty to one another the question then for me is how do we change we’ve all
for me is how do we change we’ve all
for me is how do we change we’ve all talked away our new race with New Year’s
talked away our new race with New Year’s
talked away our new race with New Year’s resolution so we know change does not
resolution so we know change does not
resolution so we know change does not come by choice change comes when we
come by choice change comes when we
come by choice change comes when we engage in a journey of transformation
engage in a journey of transformation
engage in a journey of transformation and there’s a lot of people out there
and there’s a lot of people out there
and there’s a lot of people out there who have documented their journeys of
who have documented their journeys of
who have documented their journeys of going through a process of
going through a process of
going through a process of transformation that we can learn from
transformation that we can learn from
transformation that we can learn from they go through a process where they
they go through a process where they
they go through a process where they shared painfully shed their current way
shared painfully shed their current way
shared painfully shed their current way of being an identity in the world and
of being an identity in the world and
of being an identity in the world and then relearn a new way and identity in
then relearn a new way and identity in
then relearn a new way and identity in the world and they journey look
the world and they journey look
the world and they journey look something like this very easy we can all
something like this very easy we can all
something like this very easy we can all do it what when you zoom in you see that
do it what when you zoom in you see that
do it what when you zoom in you see that there are current that there are
there are current that there are
there are current that there are crossroads that you get to in that
crossroads that you get to in that
crossroads that you get to in that journey and I’d like to think of those
journey and I’d like to think of those
journey and I’d like to think of those crossroads as monsters they’re monsters
crossroads as monsters they’re monsters
crossroads as monsters they’re monsters because they’re invisible they’re
because they’re invisible they’re
because they’re invisible they’re powerful and when you meet that
powerful and when you meet that
powerful and when you meet that crossroad or that monster you really
crossroad or that monster you really
crossroad or that monster you really have a choice if you meet it with
have a choice if you meet it with
have a choice if you meet it with resistance and you don’t want to go
resistance and you don’t want to go
resistance and you don’t want to go forward you will stay back in your old
forward you will stay back in your old
forward you will stay back in your old pattern but if you meet it and you get
pattern but if you meet it and you get
pattern but if you meet it and you get to know it and you get to move through
to know it and you get to move through
to know it and you get to move through the discomfort you can carry on on your
the discomfort you can carry on on your
the discomfort you can carry on on your journey of transformation so I would
journey of transformation so I would
journey of transformation so I would like to speak to three of those monsters
like to speak to three of those monsters
like to speak to three of those monsters limiting beliefs fear and past pain it’s
limiting beliefs fear and past pain it’s
limiting beliefs fear and past pain it’s very easy for me to see where other
very easy for me to see where other
very easy for me to see where other people are believing things that are
people are believing things that are
people are believing things that are really stupid right but it’s very hard
really stupid right but it’s very hard
really stupid right but it’s very hard to see those things in myself
to see those things in myself
to see those things in myself especially when I surround myself with
especially when I surround myself with
especially when I surround myself with people like myself so um not long ago a
people like myself so um not long ago a
people like myself so um not long ago a group of people wonderful group of
group of people wonderful group of
group of people wonderful group of people working really hard to change the
people working really hard to change the
people working really hard to change the behavior of people who abuse animals
behavior of people who abuse animals
behavior of people who abuse animals found out that their strategy was not
found out that their strategy was not
found out that their strategy was not working and in this moment we are
working and in this moment we are
working and in this moment we are sitting with them and asking them what
sitting with them and asking them what
sitting with them and asking them what do you believe about those people who
do you believe about those people who
do you believe about those people who abuse animals and now they’re making a
abuse animals and now they’re making a
abuse animals and now they’re making a map of all their beliefs but their pain
map of all their beliefs but their pain
map of all their beliefs but their pain points are their relationships what do
points are their relationships what do
points are their relationships what do we believe they believe the next moment
we believe they believe the next moment
we believe they believe the next moment someone who has been actively abusing
someone who has been actively abusing
someone who has been actively abusing animals walks into this room and this
animals walks into this room and this
animals walks into this room and this group of people having practiced suspend
group of people having practiced suspend
group of people having practiced suspend their judgments sit and they listen with
their judgments sit and they listen with
their judgments sit and they listen with openness when the gentleman leaves the
openness when the gentleman leaves the
openness when the gentleman leaves the room the room gets quiet and they say oh
room the room gets quiet and they say oh
room the room gets quiet and they say oh we’ve had it wrong those moments when he
we’ve had it wrong those moments when he
we’ve had it wrong those moments when he was reacting abusively towards animals
was reacting abusively towards animals
was reacting abusively towards animals and so and we thought he was careless in
and so and we thought he was careless in
and so and we thought he was careless in that moment something cringed in him and
that moment something cringed in him and
that moment something cringed in him and instead of saying hey we know this is
instead of saying hey we know this is
instead of saying hey we know this is difficult we here for you we were saying
difficult we here for you we were saying
difficult we here for you we were saying shame on you so I would like to invite
shame on you so I would like to invite
shame on you so I would like to invite you when you feel friction in your life
you when you feel friction in your life
you when you feel friction in your life in ER or in a relationship
in ER or in a relationship
in ER or in a relationship stop write down what am i believing
stop write down what am i believing
stop write down what am i believing about this person about this thing and
about this person about this thing and
about this person about this thing and look at your beliefs question them more
look at your beliefs question them more
look at your beliefs question them more important them put them in conversation
important them put them in conversation
important them put them in conversation with the with reality and allow the
with the with reality and allow the
with the with reality and allow the beliefs that are unhelpful to fall away
beliefs that are unhelpful to fall away
beliefs that are unhelpful to fall away and what as we continue to do this we
and what as we continue to do this we
and what as we continue to do this we can rewrite our belief systems the
can rewrite our belief systems the
can rewrite our belief systems the second one is fear and fear is a very
second one is fear and fear is a very
second one is fear and fear is a very helpful thing because it helped us
helpful thing because it helped us
helpful thing because it helped us evolve to this point but if we want to
evolve to this point but if we want to
evolve to this point but if we want to continue evolving as a human race not as
continue evolving as a human race not as
continue evolving as a human race not as individual nations and and collectors we
individual nations and and collectors we
individual nations and and collectors we need to try to overcome our fears and
need to try to overcome our fears and
need to try to overcome our fears and this is a group of middle eight managers
this is a group of middle eight managers
this is a group of middle eight managers and their world is changing
and their world is changing
and their world is changing and they’re afraid and instead of saying
and they’re afraid and instead of saying
and they’re afraid and instead of saying buckle up boys we’re saying wait let’s
buckle up boys we’re saying wait let’s
buckle up boys we’re saying wait let’s name your fears and people would write
name your fears and people would write
name your fears and people would write down I’m afraid of the unknown I’m
down I’m afraid of the unknown I’m
down I’m afraid of the unknown I’m afraid of leaving behind people I care
afraid of leaving behind people I care
afraid of leaving behind people I care and now we have something to work with
and now we have something to work with
and now we have something to work with we can work with those fears this is a
we can work with those fears this is a
we can work with those fears this is a public event in Pittsburgh people from
public event in Pittsburgh people from
public event in Pittsburgh people from different from policeman’s to
different from policeman’s to
different from policeman’s to pedestrians different as races and
pedestrians different as races and
pedestrians different as races and religions all came together with the
religions all came together with the
religions all came together with the intention to practice having difficult
intention to practice having difficult
intention to practice having difficult conversations because when we are having
conversations because when we are having
conversations because when we are having a difficult conversation we can see each
a difficult conversation we can see each
a difficult conversation we can see each other as the enemy and when someone says
other as the enemy and when someone says
other as the enemy and when someone says something different to us we can feel
something different to us we can feel
something different to us we can feel scared we want to act in self-protection
scared we want to act in self-protection
scared we want to act in self-protection when we’re scared we act scary we
when we’re scared we act scary we
when we’re scared we act scary we minimize the other we judge we blame or
minimize the other we judge we blame or
minimize the other we judge we blame or we give up power to keep the harmony so
we give up power to keep the harmony so
we give up power to keep the harmony so in this moment we’re practicing being
in this moment we’re practicing being
in this moment we’re practicing being together across difference and we’re
together across difference and we’re
together across difference and we’re practicing feeling fear but not being
practicing feeling fear but not being
practicing feeling fear but not being moved by fear just here is the
moved by fear just here is the
moved by fear just here is the discomfort but I’m going to stick to my
discomfort but I’m going to stick to my
discomfort but I’m going to stick to my value and I’m not going to give up on
value and I’m not going to give up on
value and I’m not going to give up on your value so I want to invite you to
your value so I want to invite you to
your value so I want to invite you to when you feel fear to welcome it to name
when you feel fear to welcome it to name
when you feel fear to welcome it to name it to let it be and to care for it the
it to let it be and to care for it the
it to let it be and to care for it the last one is our past pain and trauma
last one is our past pain and trauma
last one is our past pain and trauma that’s a difficult one because so much
that’s a difficult one because so much
that’s a difficult one because so much of a current reality is built on human
of a current reality is built on human
of a current reality is built on human beings having done really horrible stuff
beings having done really horrible stuff
beings having done really horrible stuff to one another and when we do horrible
to one another and when we do horrible
to one another and when we do horrible stuff to one another and we don’t
stuff to one another and we don’t
stuff to one another and we don’t acknowledge it and heal it it gets
acknowledge it and heal it it gets
acknowledge it and heal it it gets lodged in our bodies as unresolved
lodged in our bodies as unresolved
lodged in our bodies as unresolved trauma and research shows us that if we
trauma and research shows us that if we
trauma and research shows us that if we don’t heal our trauma two things happen
don’t heal our trauma two things happen
don’t heal our trauma two things happen we perpetuate it on to future
we perpetuate it on to future
we perpetuate it on to future generations and we reenact the
generations and we reenact the
generations and we reenact the subconciously our trauma and we deepen
subconciously our trauma and we deepen
subconciously our trauma and we deepen the ask them divide we deepen the
the ask them divide we deepen the
the ask them divide we deepen the distance in the distrust so our
distance in the distrust so our
distance in the distrust so our generation have inherited a lot of
generation have inherited a lot of
generation have inherited a lot of trauma and it’s a and we’re invited to
trauma and it’s a and we’re invited to
trauma and it’s a and we’re invited to stop running and stop denying and to
stop running and stop denying and to
stop running and stop denying and to look at in the eye here a bunch of
look at in the eye here a bunch of
look at in the eye here a bunch of students what we’ve done is
students what we’ve done is
students what we’ve done is people have gone back and look at the
people have gone back and look at the
people have gone back and look at the national histories of the patterns that
national histories of the patterns that
national histories of the patterns that have been passed down and they look they
have been passed down and they look they
have been passed down and they look they make a Jenna gram of their own family
make a Jenna gram of their own family
make a Jenna gram of their own family history and they look at the patterns of
history and they look at the patterns of
history and they look at the patterns of abuse and of care that has been passed
abuse and of care that has been passed
abuse and of care that has been passed down and they’re making art because art
down and they’re making art because art
down and they’re making art because art helps us speak about things that are
helps us speak about things that are
helps us speak about things that are sometimes unspeakable by making art that
sometimes unspeakable by making art that
sometimes unspeakable by making art that looks what is most painful and shameful
looks what is most painful and shameful
looks what is most painful and shameful in the eye and they are starting to
in the eye and they are starting to
in the eye and they are starting to express it because it’s when we look at
express it because it’s when we look at
express it because it’s when we look at it when we agree but when we feel it
it when we agree but when we feel it
it when we agree but when we feel it when we express it that it gets
when we express it that it gets
when we express it that it gets integrated into us so I want to invite
integrated into us so I want to invite
integrated into us so I want to invite you to not to run and not to numb when
you to not to run and not to numb when
you to not to run and not to numb when you feel the pain coming up don’t go to
you feel the pain coming up don’t go to
you feel the pain coming up don’t go to overwork or peanut butter or whiskey
overwork or peanut butter or whiskey
overwork or peanut butter or whiskey feel the pain see it’s hard I know from
feel the pain see it’s hard I know from
feel the pain see it’s hard I know from experience but filled of pain and speak
experience but filled of pain and speak
experience but filled of pain and speak the stories and heal because it’s when
the stories and heal because it’s when
the stories and heal because it’s when we engage in this process as healing
we engage in this process as healing
we engage in this process as healing that we can become the heal for the
that we can become the heal for the
that we can become the heal for the future the better future that every one
future the better future that every one
future the better future that every one of us longs for is not some dream in the
of us longs for is not some dream in the
of us longs for is not some dream in the sky it’s an unwritten script and each of
sky it’s an unwritten script and each of
sky it’s an unwritten script and each of our lives are aligned inside that script
our lives are aligned inside that script
our lives are aligned inside that script if we are asleep
if we are asleep
if we are asleep if we are unconscious we will live out
if we are unconscious we will live out
if we are unconscious we will live out the beliefs that we’ve inherited from
the beliefs that we’ve inherited from
the beliefs that we’ve inherited from our parents we will be driven by our
our parents we will be driven by our
our parents we will be driven by our subconscious fears and we will
subconscious fears and we will
subconscious fears and we will unconsciously reenact our trauma so the
unconsciously reenact our trauma so the
unconsciously reenact our trauma so the invitation for us is to awaken to
invitation for us is to awaken to
invitation for us is to awaken to realize that we are the world to realize
realize that we are the world to realize
realize that we are the world to realize that we can engage however difficult it
that we can engage however difficult it
that we can engage however difficult it might be in the process of
might be in the process of
might be in the process of transformation ourselves and become and
transformation ourselves and become and
transformation ourselves and become and create the change we want to see and I
create the change we want to see and I
create the change we want to see and I hope hope hope that future generations
hope hope hope that future generations
hope hope hope that future generations will look back at us and say uh mm-hmm
will look back at us and say uh mm-hmm
will look back at us and say uh mm-hmm they were the generation who realized
they were the generation who realized
they were the generation who realized that the change is not out there
that the change is not out there
that the change is not out there somewhere but in here among us and they
somewhere but in here among us and they
somewhere but in here among us and they did the good work of engaging in a
did the good work of engaging in a
did the good work of engaging in a process of transformation and becoming
process of transformation and becoming
process of transformation and becoming and creating the whole
and creating the whole
and creating the whole healed life-sustaining world we now have
healed life-sustaining world we now have
healed life-sustaining world we now have thank you very much
thank you very much
thank you very much [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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