The importance of a hug | Polly Taylor BEM | TEDxRoyalTunbridgeWells

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[Applause] the throne for the Queen

the throne for the Queen

the throne for the Queen hello everybody I’d like to just say I

hello everybody I’d like to just say I

hello everybody I’d like to just say I feel very honored and humbled that TEDx

feel very honored and humbled that TEDx

feel very honored and humbled that TEDx asked me to speak to you all today it’s

asked me to speak to you all today it’s

asked me to speak to you all today it’s something that’s really made me look

something that’s really made me look

something that’s really made me look back at my life and try and discover how

back at my life and try and discover how

back at my life and try and discover how I got to be where I am now and I think a

I got to be where I am now and I think a

I got to be where I am now and I think a lot of it was when I was a little girl

lot of it was when I was a little girl

lot of it was when I was a little girl and between the ages of five and eight I

and between the ages of five and eight I

and between the ages of five and eight I was bullied yes it went on all those

was bullied yes it went on all those

was bullied yes it went on all those years ago but in those days bullying was

years ago but in those days bullying was

years ago but in those days bullying was something that you kept yourself you

something that you kept yourself you

something that you kept yourself you didn’t discuss anything when you went

didn’t discuss anything when you went

didn’t discuss anything when you went home but in those days you went home you

home but in those days you went home you

home but in those days you went home you took off your school uniform put your

took off your school uniform put your

took off your school uniform put your play clothes on and you were allowed to

play clothes on and you were allowed to

play clothes on and you were allowed to be a child and you played today I feel

be a child and you played today I feel

be a child and you played today I feel terribly sorry for the youngsters

terribly sorry for the youngsters

terribly sorry for the youngsters because they’re not allowed to be

because they’re not allowed to be

because they’re not allowed to be children anymore and I feel it’s very

children anymore and I feel it’s very

children anymore and I feel it’s very sad but the quality of life took me

sad but the quality of life took me

sad but the quality of life took me through many situations and I realized

through many situations and I realized

through many situations and I realized not being as pretty as some people that

not being as pretty as some people that

not being as pretty as some people that affected me greatly as a youngster as

affected me greatly as a youngster as

affected me greatly as a youngster as well and it pushed me to the depths with

well and it pushed me to the depths with

well and it pushed me to the depths with being bullied and ridiculed to going to

being bullied and ridiculed to going to

being bullied and ridiculed to going to East Grinstead to try and change the way

East Grinstead to try and change the way

East Grinstead to try and change the way I looked and I remember my father saying

I looked and I remember my father saying

I looked and I remember my father saying he was very upset because I had his

he was very upset because I had his

he was very upset because I had his features his bad features and my

features his bad features and my

features his bad features and my mother’s I was the youngest child and I

mother’s I was the youngest child and I

mother’s I was the youngest child and I felt like the dustbin one because they

felt like the dustbin one because they

felt like the dustbin one because they both give it me their bad features but

both give it me their bad features but

both give it me their bad features but they’re in that made me look deeper into

they’re in that made me look deeper into

they’re in that made me look deeper into myself and I discovered it’s not all

myself and I discovered it’s not all

myself and I discovered it’s not all about what’s on the outside it’s what’s

about what’s on the outside it’s what’s

about what’s on the outside it’s what’s on the inside of you and I looked within

on the inside of you and I looked within

on the inside of you and I looked within myself and I thought what have I got

myself and I thought what have I got

myself and I thought what have I got got a heart I’ve got a tongue and as you

got a heart I’ve got a tongue and as you

got a heart I’ve got a tongue and as you can notice I use it very well and over

can notice I use it very well and over

can notice I use it very well and over the years I got better and better at it

the years I got better and better at it

the years I got better and better at it and I forgot about being pretty the

and I forgot about being pretty the

and I forgot about being pretty the times that I was told you look lovely I

times that I was told you look lovely I

times that I was told you look lovely I can count on two hands but the time I

can count on two hands but the time I

can count on two hands but the time I was told gee you’re a lovely person but

was told gee you’re a lovely person but

was told gee you’re a lovely person but all I ever wanted to be told god you’re

all I ever wanted to be told god you’re

all I ever wanted to be told god you’re beautiful and it doesn’t happen and I do

beautiful and it doesn’t happen and I do

beautiful and it doesn’t happen and I do understand how the youngsters feel when

understand how the youngsters feel when

understand how the youngsters feel when they’re under so much pressure looking

they’re under so much pressure looking

they’re under so much pressure looking at the models and things like that

at the models and things like that

at the models and things like that my life went on but I was quite a

my life went on but I was quite a

my life went on but I was quite a confident person but I found my sense of

confident person but I found my sense of

confident person but I found my sense of humor and I found that a smile you put a

humor and I found that a smile you put a

humor and I found that a smile you put a smile on your face you can hide behind a

smile on your face you can hide behind a

smile on your face you can hide behind a smile and one of the most loveliest

smile and one of the most loveliest

smile and one of the most loveliest things is being able to make other

things is being able to make other

things is being able to make other people smile so when I got cancer I was

people smile so when I got cancer I was

people smile so when I got cancer I was very very angry and I went for a long

very very angry and I went for a long

very very angry and I went for a long walk and I discovered a naughty word and

walk and I discovered a naughty word and

walk and I discovered a naughty word and I said it all the way round that I

I said it all the way round that I

I said it all the way round that I walked and if I tell you it sounds like

walked and if I tell you it sounds like

walked and if I tell you it sounds like muck now if the person next to you

muck now if the person next to you

muck now if the person next to you didn’t smile just whisper in their ear

didn’t smile just whisper in their ear

didn’t smile just whisper in their ear what it is but I realized that muck is

what it is but I realized that muck is

what it is but I realized that muck is very appropriate as well because it is

very appropriate as well because it is

very appropriate as well because it is just like having a load of that thrown

just like having a load of that thrown

just like having a load of that thrown at you but anyway it took me about a

at you but anyway it took me about a

at you but anyway it took me about a month to get my head around it and I

month to get my head around it and I

month to get my head around it and I dealt with that and then going through

dealt with that and then going through

dealt with that and then going through it myself and some others discovered

it myself and some others discovered

it myself and some others discovered there was a missing link from the

there was a missing link from the

there was a missing link from the hospitals and when you walk away from

hospitals and when you walk away from

hospitals and when you walk away from the hospital

the hospital

the hospital and that the missing link is for the

and that the missing link is for the

and that the missing link is for the emotional side and believe me that

emotional side and believe me that

emotional side and believe me that emotional tumor if you don’t look after

emotional tumor if you don’t look after

emotional tumor if you don’t look after that emotional tumor you do not heal and

that emotional tumor you do not heal and

that emotional tumor you do not heal and we set our amazing charity up

we set our amazing charity up

we set our amazing charity up two years research and thirteen years

two years research and thirteen years

two years research and thirteen years this year we have been running our

this year we have been running our

this year we have been running our amazing charity the Pickering cancer

amazing charity the Pickering cancer

amazing charity the Pickering cancer drop-in center with all volunteers we

drop-in center with all volunteers we

drop-in center with all volunteers we have 37 therapists I’ve got at least 28

have 37 therapists I’ve got at least 28

have 37 therapists I’ve got at least 28 volunteers some of them are in the

volunteers some of them are in the

volunteers some of them are in the audience today and this charity that

audience today and this charity that

audience today and this charity that we’ve set up we get people sent to us

we’ve set up we get people sent to us

we’ve set up we get people sent to us from the Royal Marsden from all the

from the Royal Marsden from all the

from the Royal Marsden from all the hospitals in London and bearing in mind

hospitals in London and bearing in mind

hospitals in London and bearing in mind this is a little charity in Royal

this is a little charity in Royal

this is a little charity in Royal Tunbridge Wells that were set up by

Tunbridge Wells that were set up by

Tunbridge Wells that were set up by members of the community for the

members of the community for the

members of the community for the community to support these people with

community to support these people with

community to support these people with all the complementary therapies that

all the complementary therapies that

all the complementary therapies that they can want with teas and coffees and

they can want with teas and coffees and

they can want with teas and coffees and a hug and lots of love and one of the

a hug and lots of love and one of the

a hug and lots of love and one of the most valuable things that I’ve

most valuable things that I’ve

most valuable things that I’ve discovered in life is time to give

discovered in life is time to give

discovered in life is time to give somebody time is one of the most

somebody time is one of the most

somebody time is one of the most precious things you can give anybody

precious things you can give anybody

precious things you can give anybody especially when they’re told they

especially when they’re told they

especially when they’re told they haven’t got much time

haven’t got much time

haven’t got much time believe me I’ve held people in my arms

believe me I’ve held people in my arms

believe me I’ve held people in my arms so many people I’ve taken on their pain

so many people I’ve taken on their pain

so many people I’ve taken on their pain and I’ve turned their tears to smile

and I’ve turned their tears to smile

and I’ve turned their tears to smile with the support of the most amazing

with the support of the most amazing

with the support of the most amazing team of volunteers the Pickering centre

team of volunteers the Pickering centre

team of volunteers the Pickering centre was set up I might be the face I might

was set up I might be the face I might

was set up I might be the face I might be the voice but behind me is the

be the voice but behind me is the

be the voice but behind me is the amazing team of people and that is all

amazing team of people and that is all

amazing team of people and that is all you need if the community doesn’t look

you need if the community doesn’t look

you need if the community doesn’t look after the community and God help us all

after the community and God help us all

after the community and God help us all now with the government we’re being

now with the government we’re being

now with the government we’re being thrown into we need to look after each

thrown into we need to look after each

thrown into we need to look after each other and the charities like mine should

other and the charities like mine should

other and the charities like mine should be everywhere

be everywhere

be everywhere we’re totally self-funding we raise

we’re totally self-funding we raise

we’re totally self-funding we raise everything ourselves we raised the

everything ourselves we raised the

everything ourselves we raised the awareness herself

awareness herself

awareness herself and a day like today I couldn’t have

and a day like today I couldn’t have

and a day like today I couldn’t have bought it means so much to us at the

bought it means so much to us at the

bought it means so much to us at the Pickering centre and I just think

Pickering centre and I just think

Pickering centre and I just think absolutely everybody that has been

absolutely everybody that has been

absolutely everybody that has been amazing and when I got plans to the

amazing and when I got plans to the

amazing and when I got plans to the second time I thought my lovely Jane

second time I thought my lovely Jane

second time I thought my lovely Jane Kelly got her gold medals

Kelly got her gold medals

Kelly got her gold medals and I was doing a talk for arrow dance

and I was doing a talk for arrow dance

and I was doing a talk for arrow dance and I thought about it and I thought do

and I thought about it and I thought do

and I thought about it and I thought do you know what Polly Kelly’s got her gold

you know what Polly Kelly’s got her gold

you know what Polly Kelly’s got her gold medals and you’ve got yours this was one

medals and you’ve got yours this was one

medals and you’ve got yours this was one and this was two because I both of them

and this was two because I both of them

and this was two because I both of them I conquered it and I came through it and

I conquered it and I came through it and

I conquered it and I came through it and I was very lucky to be able to do that

I was very lucky to be able to do that

I was very lucky to be able to do that and the second time I got it we were

and the second time I got it we were

and the second time I got it we were getting in the charity up and running

getting in the charity up and running

getting in the charity up and running but we’ve now started at one day a week

but we’ve now started at one day a week

but we’ve now started at one day a week we’re now four days a week we offer so

we’re now four days a week we offer so

we’re now four days a week we offer so many therapies you wouldn’t believe you

many therapies you wouldn’t believe you

many therapies you wouldn’t believe you name it we’ve got it

name it we’ve got it

name it we’ve got it and every one of our therapists gives

and every one of our therapists gives

and every one of our therapists gives their time free of charge they are just

their time free of charge they are just

their time free of charge they are just amazing and the people that come to the

amazing and the people that come to the

amazing and the people that come to the center they come from a long way off you

center they come from a long way off you

center they come from a long way off you get voices on the telephones with people

get voices on the telephones with people

get voices on the telephones with people sobbing please can we come to you and

sobbing please can we come to you and

sobbing please can we come to you and the saddest call I ever had and the most

the saddest call I ever had and the most

the saddest call I ever had and the most heartbreaking was a young girl of 28

heartbreaking was a young girl of 28

heartbreaking was a young girl of 28 years old

years old

years old she was on her own she was dying and she

she was on her own she was dying and she

she was on her own she was dying and she said Polly please can you help me with

said Polly please can you help me with

said Polly please can you help me with my funeral I have nobody to help me and

my funeral I have nobody to help me and

my funeral I have nobody to help me and this is the sort of work that we do at

this is the sort of work that we do at

this is the sort of work that we do at the Pickering claps a drop-in center so

the Pickering claps a drop-in center so

the Pickering claps a drop-in center so please take one of a leaflets please

please take one of a leaflets please

please take one of a leaflets please read it see the work that’s going on in

read it see the work that’s going on in

read it see the work that’s going on in Royal Tunbridge Wells and the Queen when

Royal Tunbridge Wells and the Queen when

Royal Tunbridge Wells and the Queen when I met the Queen she honored us and she

I met the Queen she honored us and she

I met the Queen she honored us and she was just absolutely amazing and she’s

was just absolutely amazing and she’s

was just absolutely amazing and she’s the only person that’s ever shut me up

the only person that’s ever shut me up

the only person that’s ever shut me up i sat staring at her and her beautiful

i sat staring at her and her beautiful

i sat staring at her and her beautiful violet eyes she’s only about this high

violet eyes she’s only about this high

violet eyes she’s only about this high and she said are you all right my dear

and she said are you all right my dear

and she said are you all right my dear and I thought no I’m not anyway she was

and I thought no I’m not anyway she was

and I thought no I’m not anyway she was absolutely adorable and but I shouldn’t

absolutely adorable and but I shouldn’t

absolutely adorable and but I shouldn’t have been there on my own I should have

have been there on my own I should have

have been there on my own I should have been there with the amazing team that we

been there with the amazing team that we

been there with the amazing team that we are a pickling Center it is a team its

are a pickling Center it is a team its

are a pickling Center it is a team its teamwork and in the audience I have

teamwork and in the audience I have

teamwork and in the audience I have sponsors I have volunteers and I have

sponsors I have volunteers and I have

sponsors I have volunteers and I have people that use the center and I have to

people that use the center and I have to

people that use the center and I have to tell you that I discovered another thing

tell you that I discovered another thing

tell you that I discovered another thing about myself not only my tongue which

about myself not only my tongue which

about myself not only my tongue which have you noticed is my power point I

have you noticed is my power point I

have you noticed is my power point I don’t have any of that this

don’t have any of that this

don’t have any of that this paraphernalia I don’t need it do I come

paraphernalia I don’t need it do I come

paraphernalia I don’t need it do I come on answer no Polly but also I discovered

on answer no Polly but also I discovered

on answer no Polly but also I discovered I had arms and I’ve got arms that can go

I had arms and I’ve got arms that can go

I had arms and I’ve got arms that can go around and hug and that’s all you need

around and hug and that’s all you need

around and hug and that’s all you need sometimes

sometimes

sometimes I’ve got hands to dry their tears and

I’ve got hands to dry their tears and

I’ve got hands to dry their tears and that’s all I need and the heart that’s

that’s all I need and the heart that’s

that’s all I need and the heart that’s so full of love I could just love all

so full of love I could just love all

so full of love I could just love all everyone of you in this room for buying

everyone of you in this room for buying

everyone of you in this room for buying tickets and supporting us here today

tickets and supporting us here today

tickets and supporting us here today where’s the hook for my neck he’s

where’s the hook for my neck he’s

where’s the hook for my neck he’s supposed to drag me off are you finished

supposed to drag me off are you finished

supposed to drag me off are you finished with me up there