ah I wanted to tell a story that I
I spent my childhood in the farm
my parents had a horse farm
and I could stay close to them always was
very pleasant for me is on the farm
and being with the horses
so what I’m going to tell the horses
now it makes a lot of sense to me
I used to go here often
up early with 56 years my mother me
she told me and I came back at night and she
I talk where I was working
So this story I’m going to
it makes sense to pain a traditional
It was sleep made through the beating of
hitting and submitting the horse
I saw a ted talks I do not know if the
maria dalva is here today you me
deeply inspired
it speaks of the rational dress that is one of
one through partnership and
affection and the attainment of trust between
the horse and rider
she speaks a phrase in her talk that
is with the intention of taming horses
I took myself will be that by
magic she managed to tame himself
to tame the horses
I’m going to present magic now that she
did or did the image we are going to do
with our children there is no magic
the magic is in practicing in taking care of
ourselves and educate and train the
our emotions because from us
from our care we can
take care of our children how to start
I want to talk about three points of
methodology a first step is to
learn to be firm and kind to the same
time with our children is not
easy
the second step which tools
communication we have to
able to be firm and gentle
in critical moments and the third is
when all else fails I
I do and I like to think that if
people at the same time it is as if
we were a technician
the technician has a knowledge and he
wants to pass this knowledge on to a
apprentice on a horse a child for a
sportsman
besides knowing the knowledge he knows
how to pass this knowledge
he has a communication he is
communicates appropriately with the
appropriate language for each type of
apprentice
a child of three years is different
a 10 year old and our
communication has to be different
I see there’s a lot of little babies here.
0 year communication is different
ten years
the technician makes clear communication
he says exactly what he wants his
step
if I take my three-year-old daughter to
your mother of twins
luísa antónio who is three years old if I
catch my daughter and talk to her, let’s go
save the toys
she will have
she will get up and will save the
toys because I spoke clearly
that I want now if I say the same
thing
do not leave your toys there I
I’m not giving a girl of three
what she should do what is very
different
she does not have it ready inside her
often a 12- year-old boy who
you should have it ready right now
does not and keeps leaving the towel
wet on the bed and this can be
a conflict at home then the
clear communication at that time as
I would say to stepchild of 13 years johan
put your wet towel in the bathroom
Not reactive, I’m going to tell a story.
When I was nine years old, I guess.
Olympic Games from 9 to 14
I had a technician I liked
much of him and he thinking today he was
firm and kind to me
gymnastics was not a sport.
easy for me was very demanding in
a challenge
had many exercises I had
very afraid to do and he said do
Such a way that I practiced I miss
He repeated I practiced I missed
he repeated I practiced I was wrong and
I repeated this was many times and I never
I felt angry at myself because I
i messed up
the same way we get angry
when the towel is on the bed or
when the toys are all
scattered as is trying to hit this
A look is made aware that people may have
a firm and gentle look is not
easy on after a hundred times you talk
but I guarantee it is more productive and
more efficient than I yell from the door
of the quarter hour of dinner and I leave and I go
for the table
ten minutes later I’ll tell you the time
of dinner
rehearsal again and when he comes back I scream
dinnertime, I already told you how we
could be clearer and more efficient
in expressing myself because it stresses me
have to talk five times
I listen to several mothers saying the same
thing you go to the person you
communicate otherwise
remember I’ll talk about the tools that
we have more
remember that you can get close
that person touches for that person is a
child
We are talking about children and another on
ipad the phone is involved I told you
three times at the door I screamed you
arrives puts his hand on the shoulder and speaks to
dinner time
Then you can be angry later because
he did not answer
So the voice is one of the
tools and grandparents we can talk
high low surratt we have to
remember that silence can communicate
a lot of things
the way we talk is the way
that we listen today more what to say
It’s with the voice that we have to put
because we can talk about many
severe or acute ways
this is a nuance together with the body and
soul a dance there like ballet da da
Navy teaches how to get there.
Hit this entry with this child
more than knowing the way I wanted
leave with you today that you take
awareness of which is the serious or
or the voice of your child that
irritates
I know what pisses me off there is there
there is
This is making me nervous so I
I’ve been trying to avoid being nervous
beer that I’m talking about me, right?
not the child and how can I
communicate to her that she is
bothering why this is soon
This shout I’m going to the acer that would
break me down
and I speak, you ‘re mediating.
bothering
Let’s try to change the timbre is me.
too much bothering
sometimes it works but with my son
that he went a lot I say we’ll be more
firm
Let’s put a captain’s voice
america brings the voice of the leg and the hulk
I play differently but I do not want
more listening is sown and crying with them
three years or up to 10 and speak
enough to scream to weaken this
It’s the maxim in this, I love it, I love it when
You talk to yell at your son.
screaming is sensational but how is it
be aware to get near the
his son screaming and you talk comes
it’s too loud it hurts my ear
not to speak low
button is not once in the tone
Let’s make a voice of princess invent.
things because I do not want to hear anymore
that noise
I do not know if I can say that I changed the
focus I do not want to hear I do not
I want to be sa
So how will I communicate here in the
for
the look let’s remember that look can
welcoming is a nuisance that I think
the technician does this he welcomes not
you can do it in an exercise that
I can not make people do not have this
people miss this thinking they are so
difficult for a child awaiting the
toy if every night i tell her
that I have to keep as a toy
but we can have a better look and
welcome with the look also welcome
say no I stand firm in this kind
look at touch and body
our body is larger than
children we’re talking about
Let’s enjoy it because you can stay
size your child and carry on your lap
so then you come close
you use the arm you hug me
Can I speak bravely holding it with a touch?
but gentle, I can not the child who
run around the house I can reach
close and hold and talk at the time of
lunch
It was the words the word that I
use can be gentle can be aggressive
may be vague
Let’s go to lunch, I ‘ll tell my daughter.
let’s have lunch three years is
playing
no I did not ask, so I say
firm at lunchtime
I do not want to happen in my house.
do not think my house is say more
I have it in my head all the time.
How can I communicate?
hence I do not stress it any further
shout, come on, you already said luisa
Come on, it’s no use getting easier.
near her and hold her because she
I use my body and I take her to show
Good, then it’s ok, right?
It already works, he said.
time is easy
have learned and we will do that already
have a voice look
the current direction changes your look and is
and it’s easy
Let’s talk the truth, it can not be
gentle at the same time and time
all people get out of a
escape we need is to understand that
people are on a coach as I think
I go home, I came here now, I
I came here and I wear a one person I
I’m here
lecturing for you comes after
home when I come home I seen the
mother’s cap
so I do not think it is
happening and I do not have a function
I have a function but I can not
do the same time
So before we do this
because I feel like doing it if
withdraws if the event is dramatic or
until you would have it the other day in
Another moment but you ‘re not well.
you withdraw yourself to be breathing in the least
go to the bathroom
If you have someone at home you call and
ask to help
how do you recover from your
bathroom you come back with another energy
Why did you hear here today that it is?
It’s all very easy, I told you then
come back with that firm energy and
gentle at the same time for the child
that you feel like picking on the
wall
Of course it will not work
sometimes and it is logical and will fail and
I’ll scream I’ve ever done for
scream I’ve done and still do to
Sometimes but at the time I do I say
no something is wrong that does not work
do and I go back and I call
help or I’ll go to the bathroom
breathe
and I go back with another energy that the action
scene may be happening the same but
I ‘m against energy.
so we came back but in ach someone found
your help network make a community
help call the mother the parrot
Alligator parakeet, if you can, my friend
who also has a child where she is
his son could be made with the other
the bar who can walk is not help
You can be a good mother without help.
and here I wanted to leave you, it ‘s me
with luísa antônio mt three days
14 because they are not in the maternity and
I really believe we care.
We can take better care of ourselves.
our children
[Applause]
”
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