Oh [Music]
I’m from Belgium but in my late teens I
I’m from Belgium but in my late teens I escaped from there and I ran off to
escaped from there and I ran off to
escaped from there and I ran off to France then I went west went to England
France then I went west went to England
France then I went west went to England first then I went to New York then I
first then I went to New York then I
first then I went to New York then I escaped further to the west coast of the
escaped further to the west coast of the
escaped further to the west coast of the United States landed in Los Angeles and
United States landed in Los Angeles and
United States landed in Los Angeles and after a few years there I was getting
after a few years there I was getting
after a few years there I was getting antsy and I wanted to escape again and I
antsy and I wanted to escape again and I
antsy and I wanted to escape again and I realized if I was going to go any
realized if I was going to go any
realized if I was going to go any farther west I was going to end up in
farther west I was going to end up in
farther west I was going to end up in the Far East so the journey outward the
the Far East so the journey outward the
the Far East so the journey outward the escape was over and I realized I have to
escape was over and I realized I have to
escape was over and I realized I have to go in I have to face myself so I began a
go in I have to face myself so I began a
go in I have to face myself so I began a journey that lasted thirty years that
journey that lasted thirty years that
journey that lasted thirty years that was an absolutely epic journey facing
was an absolutely epic journey facing
was an absolutely epic journey facing dark death around every corner
dark death around every corner
dark death around every corner confronted with large crevasses that I
confronted with large crevasses that I
confronted with large crevasses that I had to jump into and know that something
had to jump into and know that something
had to jump into and know that something greater then my little ego was there to
greater then my little ego was there to
greater then my little ego was there to catch me at times I felt the pain of all
catch me at times I felt the pain of all
catch me at times I felt the pain of all the world but after 30 years I came out
the world but after 30 years I came out
the world but after 30 years I came out victorious I was able to just be me I
lucky to have a sense of what that might
lucky to have a sense of what that might mean me as a baby I was raised by a
mean me as a baby I was raised by a
mean me as a baby I was raised by a psychopathic mother and you know we’re
psychopathic mother and you know we’re
psychopathic mother and you know we’re all born the same we’re completely cute
all born the same we’re completely cute
all born the same we’re completely cute innocent sweet and we need that
innocent sweet and we need that
innocent sweet and we need that reflection of ourselves as little human
reflection of ourselves as little human
reflection of ourselves as little human beings to live and I was not receiving
beings to live and I was not receiving
beings to live and I was not receiving that from my mother but there was a
that from my mother but there was a
that from my mother but there was a caretaker who did give me that and I
caretaker who did give me that and I
caretaker who did give me that and I remember very strongly she wrapped me
remember very strongly she wrapped me
remember very strongly she wrapped me against her body with makeshift wraps it
against her body with makeshift wraps it
against her body with makeshift wraps it was before we all held our babies in
was before we all held our babies in
was before we all held our babies in front of us taking care of the other
front of us taking care of the other
front of us taking care of the other babies but holding me and feeling what
babies but holding me and feeling what
babies but holding me and feeling what it felt like that just be me now she was
it felt like that just be me now she was
it felt like that just be me now she was there in the first three years my mother
there in the first three years my mother
there in the first three years my mother then sold me when I was six to a group
then sold me when I was six to a group
then sold me when I was six to a group of psychopaths they were very well
of psychopaths they were very well
of psychopaths they were very well organized Psychopaths they were not just
organized Psychopaths they were not just
organized Psychopaths they were not just in Belgium there were men from all over
in Belgium there were men from all over
in Belgium there were men from all over the world and I found out much later
the world and I found out much later
the world and I found out much later that many of these men had very visible
that many of these men had very visible
that many of these men had very visible places on the world stage they were
places on the world stage they were
places on the world stage they were world leaders politicians leaders of
world leaders politicians leaders of
world leaders politicians leaders of countries and then there were those who
countries and then there were those who
countries and then there were those who controlled the world leaders together in
controlled the world leaders together in
controlled the world leaders together in this club and they performed there the
this club and they performed there the
this club and they performed there the darkest things imaginable and I
darkest things imaginable and I
darkest things imaginable and I experienced and witnessed this from the
experienced and witnessed this from the
experienced and witnessed this from the age of six to eleven when I was rescued
age of six to eleven when I was rescued
age of six to eleven when I was rescued from someone from the inside
today I work in jails and prisons in New
today I work in jails and prisons in New York where I now live and I have an
York where I now live and I have an
York where I now live and I have an organization called liberation prison
organization called liberation prison
organization called liberation prison yoga I can relate to everyone because
yoga I can relate to everyone because
yoga I can relate to everyone because incarcerated people tend to be
incarcerated people tend to be
incarcerated people tend to be traumatized just where they are and they
traumatized just where they are and they
traumatized just where they are and they often also have a lot of trauma in their
often also have a lot of trauma in their
often also have a lot of trauma in their past often of the same degree of
past often of the same degree of
past often of the same degree of violence that I survived without the
violence that I survived without the
violence that I survived without the privilege that I had to spend 30 years
privilege that I had to spend 30 years
privilege that I had to spend 30 years focusing just on healing and then I also
focusing just on healing and then I also
focusing just on healing and then I also relate to people who come to train with
relate to people who come to train with
relate to people who come to train with me to go into the prisons with me and
me to go into the prisons with me and
me to go into the prisons with me and when I started to share my story in 2013
when I started to share my story in 2013
when I started to share my story in 2013 when I came to the end of that 30-year
when I came to the end of that 30-year
when I came to the end of that 30-year period I was interviewed and then I
period I was interviewed and then I
period I was interviewed and then I started to speak however the day is the
started to speak however the day is the
started to speak however the day is the first time I’m back in Europe speaking
first time I’m back in Europe speaking
first time I’m back in Europe speaking about this what we create with
about this what we create with
about this what we create with liberation Prison Yoga is an example of
liberation Prison Yoga is an example of
liberation Prison Yoga is an example of what the world could be like like
what the world could be like like
what the world could be like like perhaps here today where all of us
perhaps here today where all of us
perhaps here today where all of us really want to change the world for the
really want to change the world for the
really want to change the world for the better now we are in the Atomic Age
better now we are in the Atomic Age
better now we are in the Atomic Age we’ve already moved on into spiritual
we’ve already moved on into spiritual
we’ve already moved on into spiritual practices and most of us know that we
practices and most of us know that we
practices and most of us know that we are not just this finite body that we
are not just this finite body that we
are not just this finite body that we have these inner journeys and those are
have these inner journeys and those are
have these inner journeys and those are very real but somehow the world seems to
very real but somehow the world seems to
very real but somehow the world seems to be more chaotic and darker than ever so
be more chaotic and darker than ever so
be more chaotic and darker than ever so who’s going to win the light or the dark
is consciousness so we need awareness
is consciousness so we need awareness awareness of the reality of the darkness
awareness of the reality of the darkness
awareness of the reality of the darkness that this world is ruled by Psychopaths
that this world is ruled by Psychopaths
that this world is ruled by Psychopaths and I think generally we don’t really
and I think generally we don’t really
and I think generally we don’t really know what psychopaths are and we can’t
know what psychopaths are and we can’t
know what psychopaths are and we can’t really recognize them you know one way
really recognize them you know one way
really recognize them you know one way to tell someone who seems too good to be
to tell someone who seems too good to be
to tell someone who seems too good to be true whether it’s in your love
true whether it’s in your love
true whether it’s in your love relationships or whether it’s in
relationships or whether it’s in
relationships or whether it’s in politics it’s someone who plays at being
politics it’s someone who plays at being
politics it’s someone who plays at being human and makes it seem so simple and
human and makes it seem so simple and
human and makes it seem so simple and usually appears like a better version of
usually appears like a better version of
usually appears like a better version of ourselves where we with all these messy
ourselves where we with all these messy
ourselves where we with all these messy feelings feel we want to emulate them
feelings feel we want to emulate them
feelings feel we want to emulate them and be more like that whether it’s
and be more like that whether it’s
and be more like that whether it’s celebrities or whomever we put at the
celebrities or whomever we put at the
celebrities or whomever we put at the top of this top-down model this top-down
top of this top-down model this top-down
top of this top-down model this top-down model is a trauma based model and the
model is a trauma based model and the
model is a trauma based model and the top are the Psychopaths the sickest
top are the Psychopaths the sickest
top are the Psychopaths the sickest people and at the bottom are the
people and at the bottom are the
people and at the bottom are the vulnerable populations the prisoners the
vulnerable populations the prisoners the
vulnerable populations the prisoners the poor and then in the middle are most of
poor and then in the middle are most of
poor and then in the middle are most of us who are absolutely traumatized by
us who are absolutely traumatized by
us who are absolutely traumatized by this system and at the same time maybe
this system and at the same time maybe
this system and at the same time maybe seek to do good in the world so the best
seek to do good in the world so the best
seek to do good in the world so the best way to find the monster is to go within
way to find the monster is to go within
way to find the monster is to go within about Psychopaths is I was talking about
about Psychopaths is I was talking about
about Psychopaths is I was talking about the little baby before well the
the little baby before well the
the little baby before well the psychopath is a person who didn’t get to
psychopath is a person who didn’t get to
psychopath is a person who didn’t get to experience that in a
experience that in a
experience that in a because their caregivers were already
because their caregivers were already
because their caregivers were already projecting so there was no reflection of
projecting so there was no reflection of
projecting so there was no reflection of themselves as that innocent cute little
themselves as that innocent cute little
themselves as that innocent cute little baby which as it were banned them from
baby which as it were banned them from
baby which as it were banned them from themselves because it is feeling that
themselves because it is feeling that
themselves because it is feeling that makes us human it is feeling that leads
makes us human it is feeling that leads
makes us human it is feeling that leads to consciousness and it is my journey
to consciousness and it is my journey
to consciousness and it is my journey through feeling that has made me
through feeling that has made me
through feeling that has made me increasingly aware of myself and as a
increasingly aware of myself and as a
increasingly aware of myself and as a result and reflection aware of what’s
result and reflection aware of what’s
result and reflection aware of what’s outside as well and I don’t think any of
outside as well and I don’t think any of
outside as well and I don’t think any of us truly escape because the model in
us truly escape because the model in
us truly escape because the model in which we live itself makes it really
which we live itself makes it really
which we live itself makes it really impossible for parents to be
impossible for parents to be
impossible for parents to be unconditionally present for their
unconditionally present for their
unconditionally present for their children and the younger the child the
children and the younger the child the
children and the younger the child the more everything is life and death so if
more everything is life and death so if
more everything is life and death so if you’re told by the doctor you need to
you’re told by the doctor you need to
you’re told by the doctor you need to let your baby cry it out and not to
let your baby cry it out and not to
let your baby cry it out and not to listen when it sounds torturous
listen when it sounds torturous
listen when it sounds torturous well it sounds torturous because the
well it sounds torturous because the
well it sounds torturous because the baby feels torture and it is being
baby feels torture and it is being
baby feels torture and it is being traumatized in that moment so on our
traumatized in that moment so on our
traumatized in that moment so on our journey in yes yoga and meditation are
journey in yes yoga and meditation are
journey in yes yoga and meditation are great practices to become mindful to get
great practices to become mindful to get
great practices to become mindful to get a different perspective of ourselves
a different perspective of ourselves
a different perspective of ourselves very important but we can’t do that and
very important but we can’t do that and
very important but we can’t do that and then bypass the feeling part we’re all a
then bypass the feeling part we’re all a
then bypass the feeling part we’re all a little bit brainwashed into this
little bit brainwashed into this
little bit brainwashed into this thinking that the rational thinking is
thinking that the rational thinking is
thinking that the rational thinking is more important than feeling I say it’s
more important than feeling I say it’s
more important than feeling I say it’s probably equally important we want to
probably equally important we want to
probably equally important we want to balance them out but there’s not really
balance them out but there’s not really
balance them out but there’s not really a lot known about someone’s trauma
a lot known about someone’s trauma
a lot known about someone’s trauma journey we don’t really generally
journey we don’t really generally
journey we don’t really generally recognize behaviors and can guess that
recognize behaviors and can guess that
recognize behaviors and can guess that this started with a particular trauma
this started with a particular trauma
this started with a particular trauma that can be read
that can be read
that can be read and someone’s behavior we can read
and someone’s behavior we can read
and someone’s behavior we can read people’s minds more easily because we
people’s minds more easily because we
people’s minds more easily because we ourselves have gone through trauma after
ourselves have gone through trauma after
ourselves have gone through trauma after trauma so trauma is fear of death fear
trauma so trauma is fear of death fear
trauma so trauma is fear of death fear of losing the physical body or the body
of losing the physical body or the body
of losing the physical body or the body of a loved one so in that moment of fear
of a loved one so in that moment of fear
of a loved one so in that moment of fear of death all brain activity recedes to
of death all brain activity recedes to
of death all brain activity recedes to the survival brain which is right around
the survival brain which is right around
the survival brain which is right around the brainstem all other brain activity
the brainstem all other brain activity
the brainstem all other brain activity stops what’s around the brainstem well I
stops what’s around the brainstem well I
stops what’s around the brainstem well I spent a lot of time in that state we’re
spent a lot of time in that state we’re
spent a lot of time in that state we’re not human in that state and Psychopaths
not human in that state and Psychopaths
not human in that state and Psychopaths without feeling are in that state all
without feeling are in that state all
without feeling are in that state all the time and then they have a cortex
the time and then they have a cortex
the time and then they have a cortex over it to hide it and so I’ve never
over it to hide it and so I’ve never
over it to hide it and so I’ve never seen an abuser that I didn’t know was
seen an abuser that I didn’t know was
seen an abuser that I didn’t know was himself abused as a child because I in
himself abused as a child because I in
himself abused as a child because I in my real job which was a tuning with the
my real job which was a tuning with the
my real job which was a tuning with the abuser and giving them what they needed
abuser and giving them what they needed
abuser and giving them what they needed what they truly needed
what they truly needed
what they truly needed I got this image of the little boy who
I got this image of the little boy who
I got this image of the little boy who was vulnerable made themselves
was vulnerable made themselves
was vulnerable made themselves vulnerable to me the child sex slave so
vulnerable to me the child sex slave so
vulnerable to me the child sex slave so that that vulnerability was completely
that that vulnerability was completely
that that vulnerability was completely controlled and if I hadn’t given them
controlled and if I hadn’t given them
controlled and if I hadn’t given them what they truly needed if I’d followed
what they truly needed if I’d followed
what they truly needed if I’d followed my impulse and perhaps laughed or at
my impulse and perhaps laughed or at
my impulse and perhaps laughed or at them or whatever they were afraid of
them or whatever they were afraid of
them or whatever they were afraid of then I would have been killed and there
then I would have been killed and there
then I would have been killed and there would be no witness to that
would be no witness to that
would be no witness to that vulnerability that sense of humiliation
vulnerability that sense of humiliation
vulnerability that sense of humiliation a repeat of the abuse the feelings
a repeat of the abuse the feelings
a repeat of the abuse the feelings around the abuse that are all repressed
around the abuse that are all repressed
around the abuse that are all repressed so for someone who has zero healing at
so for someone who has zero healing at
so for someone who has zero healing at all the best way to get it out of the
all the best way to get it out of the
all the best way to get it out of the system because it is there and it needs
system because it is there and it needs
system because it is there and it needs to get out is to go in that same mode
to get out is to go in that same mode
to get out is to go in that same mode fight flight freeze collapse and in that
fight flight freeze collapse and in that
fight flight freeze collapse and in that barbaric
barbaric
barbaric primordial state to go into the fight
primordial state to go into the fight
primordial state to go into the fight mode and get that temporary release it’s
mode and get that temporary release it’s
mode and get that temporary release it’s where in trauma and we can fight we can
where in trauma and we can fight we can
where in trauma and we can fight we can kill the predator or we can run then all
kill the predator or we can run then all
kill the predator or we can run then all we have to do is take a few breaths and
we have to do is take a few breaths and
we have to do is take a few breaths and the trauma would be out of our body-mind
the trauma would be out of our body-mind
the trauma would be out of our body-mind system but as a child we go into freeze
system but as a child we go into freeze
system but as a child we go into freeze and everything is frozen now these men
and everything is frozen now these men
and everything is frozen now these men some the most evil in the world I’m
some the most evil in the world I’m
some the most evil in the world I’m pretty sure we’re like parents to me and
pretty sure we’re like parents to me and
pretty sure we’re like parents to me and there were some who gave me some
there were some who gave me some
there were some who gave me some reflections that I need it for my own
reflections that I need it for my own
reflections that I need it for my own emotional development and so I loved
emotional development and so I loved
emotional development and so I loved them so I try to understand because I
them so I try to understand because I
them so I try to understand because I know that no one is truly a monster but
know that no one is truly a monster but
know that no one is truly a monster but of course Psychopaths behave like
of course Psychopaths behave like
of course Psychopaths behave like monsters I like to think of them as
monsters I like to think of them as
monsters I like to think of them as dinosaurs in business suits they are
dinosaurs in business suits they are
dinosaurs in business suits they are antiquated because we are already in an
antiquated because we are already in an
antiquated because we are already in an age where we move away from matter as
age where we move away from matter as
age where we move away from matter as the final reality and if you have no
the final reality and if you have no
the final reality and if you have no access to feeling you are relegated to
access to feeling you are relegated to
access to feeling you are relegated to the world of matter to yourself the body
the world of matter to yourself the body
the world of matter to yourself the body as a final person who you are and so
as a final person who you are and so
as a final person who you are and so they’re very heavily into rejuvenation
they’re very heavily into rejuvenation
they’re very heavily into rejuvenation and the ways that they do that I will
and the ways that they do that I will
and the ways that they do that I will spare you but it’s very barbaric so in
spare you but it’s very barbaric so in
spare you but it’s very barbaric so in my work today I get a chance to do the
my work today I get a chance to do the
my work today I get a chance to do the same as I was made to do as a child
same as I was made to do as a child
same as I was made to do as a child having moved through this vast regions
having moved through this vast regions
having moved through this vast regions regions and regions of the emotional
regions and regions of the emotional
regions and regions of the emotional world to come back to myself free from
world to come back to myself free from
world to come back to myself free from guilt
and free to just whatever the universe
and free to just whatever the universe sends my way now if we look at society
sends my way now if we look at society
sends my way now if we look at society for a moment and we think that if we
for a moment and we think that if we
for a moment and we think that if we want to climb the ladder of societal
want to climb the ladder of societal
want to climb the ladder of societal ladder it tells you not to feel trauma
ladder it tells you not to feel trauma
ladder it tells you not to feel trauma and the higher you go the more you will
and the higher you go the more you will
and the higher you go the more you will be asked to give up your principles and
be asked to give up your principles and
be asked to give up your principles and usually there’s some sex scandal along
usually there’s some sex scandal along
usually there’s some sex scandal along the way up whether it’s in the corporate
the way up whether it’s in the corporate
the way up whether it’s in the corporate world or it’s in the yoga world that
world or it’s in the yoga world that
world or it’s in the yoga world that needs to be kept under wraps and if you
needs to be kept under wraps and if you
needs to be kept under wraps and if you don’t want to be quiet about it you get
don’t want to be quiet about it you get
don’t want to be quiet about it you get kicked out and you don’t get to be part
kicked out and you don’t get to be part
kicked out and you don’t get to be part of the club and at the very top of
of the club and at the very top of
of the club and at the very top of course are the people who are the most
course are the people who are the most
course are the people who are the most sick with trauma so when a psychopath
sick with trauma so when a psychopath
sick with trauma so when a psychopath kills a baby
kills a baby
kills a baby they are reliving a trauma story of when
they are reliving a trauma story of when
they are reliving a trauma story of when they were a little baby and they felt
they were a little baby and they felt
they were a little baby and they felt deadened so they don’t know it but
deadened so they don’t know it but
deadened so they don’t know it but they’re repeating their trauma story the
they’re repeating their trauma story the
they’re repeating their trauma story the great thing about the journey inward now
great thing about the journey inward now
great thing about the journey inward now it was completely invisible I had a few
it was completely invisible I had a few
it was completely invisible I had a few safe people but the great thing about it
safe people but the great thing about it
safe people but the great thing about it is that we don’t have to travel to do it
is that we don’t have to travel to do it
is that we don’t have to travel to do it you can do it right here and now it’s
you can do it right here and now it’s
you can do it right here and now it’s difficult to hear about the reality of
difficult to hear about the reality of
difficult to hear about the reality of the darkness of the world because it
the darkness of the world because it
the darkness of the world because it requires for us to go through some
requires for us to go through some
requires for us to go through some feelings perhaps that are traumatic the
feelings perhaps that are traumatic the
feelings perhaps that are traumatic the shock and disbelief the anger the
shock and disbelief the anger the
shock and disbelief the anger the landing of the reality and the pain that
landing of the reality and the pain that
landing of the reality and the pain that comes with that and perhaps the grief
comes with that and perhaps the grief
comes with that and perhaps the grief the disgust it’s not easy but I’ve been
the disgust it’s not easy but I’ve been
the disgust it’s not easy but I’ve been amazed and how receptive audiences are
amazed and how receptive audiences are
amazed and how receptive audiences are and I can tell you that it’s been a
and I can tell you that it’s been a
and I can tell you that it’s been a challenge to stand here back in Europe
challenge to stand here back in Europe
challenge to stand here back in Europe today
today
today and feel heard and allowing myself to
and feel heard and allowing myself to
and feel heard and allowing myself to feel the healing so have a pleasant
feel the healing so have a pleasant
feel the healing so have a pleasant journey and may we all be victorious
journey and may we all be victorious
journey and may we all be victorious [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] you
you
you [Music]
”
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