I’d like to show you as soon as pages after each face I would like you to
after each face I would like you to
after each face I would like you to decide if you’d like them or not
decide if you’d like them or not
decide if you’d like them or not No maybe it’s just yes or no if you
No maybe it’s just yes or no if you
No maybe it’s just yes or no if you think you’d like them as a person
think you’d like them as a person
think you’d like them as a person here we go do you think you’d like her
think about much person you liked the
think about much person you liked the best and which person you liked the
best and which person you liked the
best and which person you liked the least do you have those two people in
least do you have those two people in
least do you have those two people in your mind now think about why why did
your mind now think about why why did
your mind now think about why why did that person appeal to you and why do the
that person appeal to you and why do the
that person appeal to you and why do the other fall to the bottom of your
other fall to the bottom of your
other fall to the bottom of your preference you might have a concrete
preference you might have a concrete
preference you might have a concrete tangible reason but I’m sure the vast
tangible reason but I’m sure the vast
tangible reason but I’m sure the vast majority of you can’t exactly pinpoint
majority of you can’t exactly pinpoint
majority of you can’t exactly pinpoint why you might be sitting there and
why you might be sitting there and
why you might be sitting there and saying I really like this person or I
saying I really like this person or I
saying I really like this person or I hated that person but I honestly don’t
hated that person but I honestly don’t
hated that person but I honestly don’t know why and that reaction is
know why and that reaction is
know why and that reaction is understandable you’ve only seen still
understandable you’ve only seen still
understandable you’ve only seen still pictures of these people’s faces you
pictures of these people’s faces you
pictures of these people’s faces you don’t know how they act you don’t know
don’t know how they act you don’t know
don’t know how they act you don’t know what their posture like you don’t know
what their posture like you don’t know
what their posture like you don’t know who these people are now consider this
who these people are now consider this
who these people are now consider this have you ever been in this situation
have you ever been in this situation
have you ever been in this situation where you’ve either like or dislike
where you’ve either like or dislike
where you’ve either like or dislike somebody whether it’s just as friends or
somebody whether it’s just as friends or
somebody whether it’s just as friends or more frequently romantically and you
more frequently romantically and you
more frequently romantically and you have no idea why this usually occurs in
have no idea why this usually occurs in
have no idea why this usually occurs in two scenarios
two scenarios
two scenarios the first scenario would be first
the first scenario would be first
the first scenario would be first impressions something similar to what we
impressions something similar to what we
impressions something similar to what we just did everyone knows first
just did everyone knows first
just did everyone knows first impressions are extremely important yeah
impressions are extremely important yeah
impressions are extremely important yeah how are we supposed to make those first
how are we supposed to make those first
how are we supposed to make those first impressions in what two prints and
impressions in what two prints and
impressions in what two prints and psychologists claim is only one tenth of
psychologists claim is only one tenth of
psychologists claim is only one tenth of a second let’s make this a bit simpler
a second let’s make this a bit simpler
a second let’s make this a bit simpler to grasp you’re meeting your friend’s
to grasp you’re meeting your friend’s
to grasp you’re meeting your friend’s friend and you’ve never met them before
friend and you’ve never met them before
friend and you’ve never met them before you didn’t even know you and be meeting
you didn’t even know you and be meeting
you didn’t even know you and be meeting them so they walk through the door and
them so they walk through the door and
them so they walk through the door and immediately you just know the two of you
immediately you just know the two of you
immediately you just know the two of you are not going to click you spend the
are not going to click you spend the
are not going to click you spend the night with your friend on this person
night with your friend on this person
night with your friend on this person who are who just rubs you the wrong way
who are who just rubs you the wrong way
who are who just rubs you the wrong way and even though they do everything
and even though they do everything
and even though they do everything pretty normally nothing outright
pretty normally nothing outright
pretty normally nothing outright disrespectfully you just can’t stand
disrespectfully you just can’t stand
disrespectfully you just can’t stand them let us examine the second scenario
them let us examine the second scenario
them let us examine the second scenario this is usually when you’ve known
this is usually when you’ve known
this is usually when you’ve known somebody for so long that you can’t
somebody for so long that you can’t
somebody for so long that you can’t really put into words what it is about
really put into words what it is about
really put into words what it is about them that makes you guys such a great
them that makes you guys such a great
them that makes you guys such a great match maybe it’s a
match maybe it’s a
match maybe it’s a significant other it could be a best
significant other it could be a best
significant other it could be a best friend you just know that like them in
friend you just know that like them in
friend you just know that like them in it that’s the end of the story
it that’s the end of the story
it that’s the end of the story even if you’ve known each other for
even if you’ve known each other for
even if you’ve known each other for years if somebody stopped you two on the
years if somebody stopped you two on the
years if somebody stopped you two on the street and asked hey why do you like
street and asked hey why do you like
street and asked hey why do you like that person you might not be able to
that person you might not be able to
that person you might not be able to give them an exact reason this is a
give them an exact reason this is a
give them an exact reason this is a conversation that’s frequently heard
conversation that’s frequently heard
conversation that’s frequently heard during breakups one person will say you
during breakups one person will say you
during breakups one person will say you did everything right
did everything right
did everything right and the other person will spread with
and the other person will spread with
and the other person will spread with them what why and the first person will
them what why and the first person will
them what why and the first person will say I I honestly don’t know why why does
say I I honestly don’t know why why does
say I I honestly don’t know why why does this happen why can’t we say why is
this happen why can’t we say why is
this happen why can’t we say why is there some part of us that’s
there some part of us that’s
there some part of us that’s inexplicable some strange law of
inexplicable some strange law of
inexplicable some strange law of attraction that we haven’t yet
attraction that we haven’t yet
attraction that we haven’t yet discovered well sort of let me explain
discovered well sort of let me explain
discovered well sort of let me explain humans have a conscious and a
humans have a conscious and a
humans have a conscious and a subconscious
subconscious
subconscious many people say that your conscious
many people say that your conscious
many people say that your conscious takes up about 5% of brain capacity and
takes up about 5% of brain capacity and
takes up about 5% of brain capacity and the other 95% isn’t accessible to us but
the other 95% isn’t accessible to us but
the other 95% isn’t accessible to us but new studies are saying differently there
new studies are saying differently there
new studies are saying differently there was recently a study published in the
was recently a study published in the
was recently a study published in the Journal of behavioral and brain sciences
Journal of behavioral and brain sciences
Journal of behavioral and brain sciences that conclude your subconscious actually
that conclude your subconscious actually
that conclude your subconscious actually plays a far greater role in your
plays a far greater role in your
plays a far greater role in your consciousness of them.we we further we
consciousness of them.we we further we
consciousness of them.we we further we previously thought so think of it this
previously thought so think of it this
previously thought so think of it this way it’s kind of like if a toddler was
way it’s kind of like if a toddler was
way it’s kind of like if a toddler was spouting information that was being fed
spouting information that was being fed
spouting information that was being fed to him by an adult let me elaborate so
to him by an adult let me elaborate so
to him by an adult let me elaborate so let us say your subconsciousness is the
let us say your subconsciousness is the
let us say your subconsciousness is the adult on the side who’s telling you’re
adult on the side who’s telling you’re
adult on the side who’s telling you’re the toddler or your consciousness all
the toddler or your consciousness all
the toddler or your consciousness all this information so the taller takes the
this information so the taller takes the
this information so the taller takes the information that the adult on the side
information that the adult on the side
information that the adult on the side previously packaged and took all the
previously packaged and took all the
previously packaged and took all the observations that they made put them
observations that they made put them
observations that they made put them into one fully formed thought and pass
into one fully formed thought and pass
into one fully formed thought and pass it off to the toddler or your
it off to the toddler or your
it off to the toddler or your consciousness in other words your
consciousness in other words your
consciousness in other words your consciousness is sort of like the thesis
consciousness is sort of like the thesis
consciousness is sort of like the thesis statement to the essay of your
statement to the essay of your
statement to the essay of your subconscious but unfortunately we
subconscious but unfortunately we
subconscious but unfortunately we usually can’t read the essay we usually
usually can’t read the essay we usually
usually can’t read the essay we usually need to read EFA in order to fully
need to read EFA in order to fully
need to read EFA in order to fully understand the piece
understand the piece
understand the piece statement and that just is impossible
statement and that just is impossible
statement and that just is impossible our subconscious is not available to us
our subconscious is not available to us
our subconscious is not available to us it makes decisions and observations
it makes decisions and observations
it makes decisions and observations without us knowing one psychologists
without us knowing one psychologists
without us knowing one psychologists Timothy Wilson calls it your adaptive
Timothy Wilson calls it your adaptive
Timothy Wilson calls it your adaptive subconscious he explains it this way
subconscious he explains it this way
subconscious he explains it this way humans taken 11 million pieces of
humans taken 11 million pieces of
humans taken 11 million pieces of information per second but only 40
information per second but only 40
information per second but only 40 pieces of that can be processed
pieces of that can be processed
pieces of that can be processed consciously the other 10 million nine
consciously the other 10 million nine
consciously the other 10 million nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine
hundred ninety nine thousand nine
hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and sixty go to your
hundred and sixty go to your
hundred and sixty go to your subconscious so this is why sometimes
subconscious so this is why sometimes
subconscious so this is why sometimes you just can’t explain why you either
you just can’t explain why you either
you just can’t explain why you either like or dislike somebody the reasons why
like or dislike somebody the reasons why
like or dislike somebody the reasons why might be hidden in your subconscious so
might be hidden in your subconscious so
might be hidden in your subconscious so let’s go back to our two scenarios let’s
let’s go back to our two scenarios let’s
let’s go back to our two scenarios let’s tackle the first one first which is
tackle the first one first which is
tackle the first one first which is first impressions so let’s say you’re on
first impressions so let’s say you’re on
first impressions so let’s say you’re on a subway and you see boy so your
a subway and you see boy so your
a subway and you see boy so your consciousness immediately says look it’s
consciousness immediately says look it’s
consciousness immediately says look it’s a boy in the subway but your
a boy in the subway but your
a boy in the subway but your subconscious has been taking far more
subconscious has been taking far more
subconscious has been taking far more detailed notes your subconscious to say
detailed notes your subconscious to say
detailed notes your subconscious to say he’s wearing a black shirt he has three
he’s wearing a black shirt he has three
he’s wearing a black shirt he has three tattoos he is kind of large ankles and
tattoos he is kind of large ankles and
tattoos he is kind of large ankles and smells making a peanut butter all these
smells making a peanut butter all these
smells making a peanut butter all these small details that your consciousness
small details that your consciousness
small details that your consciousness isn’t picking up so your cell phone just
isn’t picking up so your cell phone just
isn’t picking up so your cell phone just finally takes all those observations the
finally takes all those observations the
finally takes all those observations the minuscule details and puts them into one
minuscule details and puts them into one
minuscule details and puts them into one conclusion you think your boy is cool so
conclusion you think your boy is cool so
conclusion you think your boy is cool so your consciousness says hey that boy is
your consciousness says hey that boy is
your consciousness says hey that boy is pretty cool let’s go to the second
pretty cool let’s go to the second
pretty cool let’s go to the second scenario let’s say you’ve been dating a
scenario let’s say you’ve been dating a
scenario let’s say you’ve been dating a girl for three months and you’ve been
girl for three months and you’ve been
girl for three months and you’ve been dating a girl for three months and you
dating a girl for three months and you
dating a girl for three months and you finally want to tell her that you love
finally want to tell her that you love
finally want to tell her that you love her want to drop the Big L word so you
her want to drop the Big L word so you
her want to drop the Big L word so you go out with your friend and have dinner
go out with your friend and have dinner
go out with your friend and have dinner and you tell them your planet you say
and you tell them your planet you say
and you tell them your planet you say you know hey I’m gonna tell this girl I
you know hey I’m gonna tell this girl I
you know hey I’m gonna tell this girl I really like her I kind of love her so
really like her I kind of love her so
really like her I kind of love her so your friend says what why and so your
your friend says what why and so your
your friend says what why and so your subconscious immediately gets to work
subconscious immediately gets to work
subconscious immediately gets to work pulling memories like that time’ – you
pulling memories like that time’ – you
pulling memories like that time’ – you went to an amusement park the way she
went to an amusement park the way she
went to an amusement park the way she laughs the way she makes you laugh and
laughs the way she makes you laugh and
laughs the way she makes you laugh and takes all that information puts it into
takes all that information puts it into
takes all that information puts it into one conclusion that you love this girl
one conclusion that you love this girl
one conclusion that you love this girl you just know
you just know
you just know and that’s what your consciousness is I
and that’s what your consciousness is I
and that’s what your consciousness is I love this girl
love this girl
love this girl I just know so if you’re like me and you
I just know so if you’re like me and you
I just know so if you’re like me and you read the New York Times kind of
read the New York Times kind of
read the New York Times kind of obsessively you’ll know that modern love
obsessively you’ll know that modern love
obsessively you’ll know that modern love which is a column recently published an
which is a column recently published an
which is a column recently published an article detailing a study done by Arthur
article detailing a study done by Arthur
article detailing a study done by Arthur Aaron so in a nutshell this study took
Aaron so in a nutshell this study took
Aaron so in a nutshell this study took strangers and put them in pairs put them
strangers and put them in pairs put them
strangers and put them in pairs put them in rooms and made them ask 36 questions
in rooms and made them ask 36 questions
in rooms and made them ask 36 questions to each other
to each other
to each other increasing in intimacy as they went
increasing in intimacy as they went
increasing in intimacy as they went along after the study some of the pairs
along after the study some of the pairs
along after the study some of the pairs actually started relationships and one
actually started relationships and one
actually started relationships and one of the pair’s even got married so
of the pair’s even got married so
of the pair’s even got married so everyone was buzzing about this study
everyone was buzzing about this study
everyone was buzzing about this study saying this is it this is how you treat
saying this is it this is how you treat
saying this is it this is how you treat love just ask these questions but I took
love just ask these questions but I took
love just ask these questions but I took a closer look at the questions and their
a closer look at the questions and their
a closer look at the questions and their questions like when was the last time
questions like when was the last time
questions like when was the last time you sang to yourself or what is your
you sang to yourself or what is your
you sang to yourself or what is your favorite childhood memory so these are
favorite childhood memory so these are
favorite childhood memory so these are all valid questions but the answers to
all valid questions but the answers to
all valid questions but the answers to them really lie our subconscious so in
them really lie our subconscious so in
them really lie our subconscious so in other words you’re not actively thinking
other words you’re not actively thinking
other words you’re not actively thinking about questions like these but you know
about questions like these but you know
about questions like these but you know them they’re in your brain so what this
them they’re in your brain so what this
them they’re in your brain so what this study basically did was it took those
study basically did was it took those
study basically did was it took those factors that you usually use to decide
factors that you usually use to decide
factors that you usually use to decide whether you like somebody or not
whether you like somebody or not
whether you like somebody or not subconsciously and it put them into the
subconsciously and it put them into the
subconsciously and it put them into the conscious mind to make you actively
conscious mind to make you actively
conscious mind to make you actively think about them think about them first
think about them think about them first
think about them think about them first and quickly so by now you might be
and quickly so by now you might be
and quickly so by now you might be saying well if we arrive at the same
saying well if we arrive at the same
saying well if we arrive at the same conclusion that you either like somebody
conclusion that you either like somebody
conclusion that you either like somebody or you don’t like somebody why does it
or you don’t like somebody why does it
or you don’t like somebody why does it matter if my subconscious plays a role
matter if my subconscious plays a role
matter if my subconscious plays a role in that and you’d be right in saying
in that and you’d be right in saying
in that and you’d be right in saying that you do get to the same conclusion
that you do get to the same conclusion
that you do get to the same conclusion and you could leave this talk and
and you could leave this talk and
and you could leave this talk and continue to go about your life relying
continue to go about your life relying
continue to go about your life relying on the accuracy and simplicity of your
on the accuracy and simplicity of your
on the accuracy and simplicity of your consciousness but that’s not what I
consciousness but that’s not what I
consciousness but that’s not what I would suggest liking people loving
would suggest liking people loving
would suggest liking people loving people getting to know people these are
people getting to know people these are
people getting to know people these are all active choices we are pretty lucky
all active choices we are pretty lucky
all active choices we are pretty lucky in that we decide who we got close to
in that we decide who we got close to
in that we decide who we got close to you in our lives
you in our lives
you in our lives so when you make that conscious choice
so when you make that conscious choice
so when you make that conscious choice you include someone in your life why
you include someone in your life why
you include someone in your life why don’t we continue to get to know them
don’t we continue to get to know them
don’t we continue to get to know them ask those small questions consciously
ask those small questions consciously
ask those small questions consciously get to know what their favorite color is
get to know what their favorite color is
get to know what their favorite color is what how they like their eggs random
what how they like their eggs random
what how they like their eggs random details these things that usually get
details these things that usually get
details these things that usually get relegated immediately to the back of
relegated immediately to the back of
relegated immediately to the back of your mind because in the end it’s all
your mind because in the end it’s all
your mind because in the end it’s all those small things that come together to
those small things that come together to
those small things that come together to make that big conclusion of whether you
make that big conclusion of whether you
make that big conclusion of whether you like somebody or not and ultimately
like somebody or not and ultimately
like somebody or not and ultimately those things or the people who we
those things or the people who we
those things or the people who we surround ourselves with that’s what
surround ourselves with that’s what
surround ourselves with that’s what shapes our lives so if we all took a
shapes our lives so if we all took a
shapes our lives so if we all took a little bit more time to appreciate and
little bit more time to appreciate and
little bit more time to appreciate and really get to know each other better
really get to know each other better
really get to know each other better then maybe the next time on the off
then maybe the next time on the off
then maybe the next time on the off chance somebody stops us on the street
chance somebody stops us on the street
chance somebody stops us on the street and asks if we’re walking in the person
and asks if we’re walking in the person
and asks if we’re walking in the person that we are friends with why do you like
that we are friends with why do you like
that we are friends with why do you like them we will be able to look them
them we will be able to look them
them we will be able to look them squarely in the eyes and tell them why
squarely in the eyes and tell them why
squarely in the eyes and tell them why thank you
”
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