What makes me black | Gregory King | TEDxKentState

what makes me black I surrender to a

what makes me black I surrender to a question I will need to dissect with

question I will need to dissect with

question I will need to dissect with both the precision of a surgeon and the

both the precision of a surgeon and the

both the precision of a surgeon and the carelessness of a drunk both I approach

carelessness of a drunk both I approach

carelessness of a drunk both I approach it with caution not wanting to offend

it with caution not wanting to offend

it with caution not wanting to offend but I crave the answer to the question I

but I crave the answer to the question I

but I crave the answer to the question I ask with reservation am i black because

ask with reservation am i black because

ask with reservation am i black because of the color of my skin or the practice

of the color of my skin or the practice

of the color of my skin or the practice of my people our students faces call

of my people our students faces call

of my people our students faces call safe organized for my safety marketed to

safe organized for my safety marketed to

safe organized for my safety marketed to my desire for safety only to feel

my desire for safety only to feel

my desire for safety only to feel apologetically distant I’ve stared in

apologetically distant I’ve stared in

apologetically distant I’ve stared in the face of the white person sitting

the face of the white person sitting

the face of the white person sitting next to the black person in a black

next to the black person in a black

next to the black person in a black space and I still see recognizable

space and I still see recognizable

space and I still see recognizable discomfort are my ancestors in graves

discomfort are my ancestors in graves

discomfort are my ancestors in graves still tormented by the struggles that

still tormented by the struggles that

still tormented by the struggles that exist are they okay with me living off

exist are they okay with me living off

exist are they okay with me living off their legacy without creating a legacy

their legacy without creating a legacy

their legacy without creating a legacy of my own should I bear the scar of

of my own should I bear the scar of

of my own should I bear the scar of every black man I bear the scar the

every black man I bear the scar the

every black man I bear the scar the scars of every black man I was taught by

scars of every black man I was taught by

scars of every black man I was taught by the church public figures and teachers

the church public figures and teachers

the church public figures and teachers in academic institutions to think that

in academic institutions to think that

in academic institutions to think that white oppression was a fallacy that

white oppression was a fallacy that

white oppression was a fallacy that black people used slavery as a crutch to

black people used slavery as a crutch to

black people used slavery as a crutch to validate or anger I was taught to think

validate or anger I was taught to think

validate or anger I was taught to think that my blackness was legitimate only

that my blackness was legitimate only

that my blackness was legitimate only when approved by whiteness taught so

when approved by whiteness taught so

when approved by whiteness taught so even by those who looked like me the

even by those who looked like me the

even by those who looked like me the black man who counted his coins over

black man who counted his coins over

black man who counted his coins over cruelty whose position was to pacify

cruelty whose position was to pacify

cruelty whose position was to pacify white fragility and whose intentions

white fragility and whose intentions

white fragility and whose intentions were to fit in rather than to confront

were to fit in rather than to confront

were to fit in rather than to confront those who divide and oppress so I I

those who divide and oppress so I I

those who divide and oppress so I I sought affirmation of my blackness in

sought affirmation of my blackness in

sought affirmation of my blackness in writings by scholars of color who

writings by scholars of color who

writings by scholars of color who recognized and celebrated the

recognized and celebrated the

recognized and celebrated the contributions of Africans Asians Latinos

contributions of Africans Asians Latinos

contributions of Africans Asians Latinos Pacific Islanders and Native Americans

Pacific Islanders and Native Americans

Pacific Islanders and Native Americans and other ethnic groups I grew up in

and other ethnic groups I grew up in

and other ethnic groups I grew up in Jamaica a culture rich in food music

Jamaica a culture rich in food music

Jamaica a culture rich in food music sports dance you know dance forms like

sports dance you know dance forms like

sports dance you know dance forms like the dinky mini and Brookings we danced

the dinky mini and Brookings we danced

the dinky mini and Brookings we danced with our hips and our pelvis is our

with our hips and our pelvis is our

with our hips and our pelvis is our backs and our torsos physical eyes in

backs and our torsos physical eyes in

backs and our torsos physical eyes in the

the

the rhythms of reggae and dancehall allowing

rhythms of reggae and dancehall allowing

rhythms of reggae and dancehall allowing our bodies to be expressive without

our bodies to be expressive without

our bodies to be expressive without being sexualized exoticized fetishize

being sexualized exoticized fetishize

being sexualized exoticized fetishize I’m remembering family gatherings in the

I’m remembering family gatherings in the

I’m remembering family gatherings in the backyard where all ages dance together

backyard where all ages dance together

backyard where all ages dance together body is moving with easygoing delight my

body is moving with easygoing delight my

body is moving with easygoing delight my Jamaican dance forms connected me to

Jamaican dance forms connected me to

Jamaican dance forms connected me to African traditions traditions then

African traditions traditions then

African traditions traditions then continued to influence many different

continued to influence many different

continued to influence many different aesthetics today the callin response

aesthetics today the callin response

aesthetics today the callin response scene in hip hop dance battles can be

scene in hip hop dance battles can be

scene in hip hop dance battles can be traced to African diasporic traditions

traced to African diasporic traditions

traced to African diasporic traditions the syncopations and Pali rhythms seen

the syncopations and Pali rhythms seen

the syncopations and Pali rhythms seen in jazz styles can be linked to the

in jazz styles can be linked to the

in jazz styles can be linked to the pelvic proprietorship of twerking which

pelvic proprietorship of twerking which

pelvic proprietorship of twerking which is not the new nor white but I was never

is not the new nor white but I was never

is not the new nor white but I was never taught these links in my dance training

taught these links in my dance training

taught these links in my dance training now that I’m a college professor of

now that I’m a college professor of

now that I’m a college professor of dance I choose not to ignore my nuanced

dance I choose not to ignore my nuanced

dance I choose not to ignore my nuanced individuality I teach from books yes but

individuality I teach from books yes but

individuality I teach from books yes but I also teach from my lived experiences

I also teach from my lived experiences

I also teach from my lived experiences in grad school I read the writings of

in grad school I read the writings of

in grad school I read the writings of mostly white scholars this created a

mostly white scholars this created a

mostly white scholars this created a vacuum of culturally specific

vacuum of culturally specific

vacuum of culturally specific perspectives eradicating other voices

perspectives eradicating other voices

perspectives eradicating other voices causing ideas and discussions to be

causing ideas and discussions to be

causing ideas and discussions to be framed through a single lens a reduced

framed through a single lens a reduced

framed through a single lens a reduced lens a smaller lens you see when the

lens a smaller lens you see when the

lens a smaller lens you see when the bulk of scholarship on any topic is

bulk of scholarship on any topic is

bulk of scholarship on any topic is primarily produced by a single cultural

primarily produced by a single cultural

primarily produced by a single cultural perspective in this case white academics

perspective in this case white academics

perspective in this case white academics which is arguably limited even if

which is arguably limited even if

which is arguably limited even if unintentionally so the ratio of people

unintentionally so the ratio of people

unintentionally so the ratio of people like me from the dance history I was

like me from the dance history I was

like me from the dance history I was taught made me question the presence of

taught made me question the presence of

taught made me question the presence of people of color in books on stage on

people of color in books on stage on

people of color in books on stage on film

film

film in the curriculum even on faculty

in the curriculum even on faculty

in the curriculum even on faculty rosters yes because it was being erased

rosters yes because it was being erased

rosters yes because it was being erased I began to see race everywhere

I began to see race everywhere

I began to see race everywhere I became an educator because I thought

I became an educator because I thought

I became an educator because I thought it necessary to not only question whose

it necessary to not only question whose

it necessary to not only question whose history was being told but to plant

history was being told but to plant

history was being told but to plant myself in the heart of the telling to

myself in the heart of the telling to

myself in the heart of the telling to rewrite it to retell it and in the

rewrite it to retell it and in the

rewrite it to retell it and in the process help to communicate these

process help to communicate these

process help to communicate these histories as the multi-faceted most

histories as the multi-faceted most

histories as the multi-faceted most dimensional multi-source rich

dimensional multi-source rich

dimensional multi-source rich diverse stores that they are I welcome

diverse stores that they are I welcome

diverse stores that they are I welcome the taste of diversity I want to see

the taste of diversity I want to see

the taste of diversity I want to see black girls in pointe shoes and and

black girls in pointe shoes and and

black girls in pointe shoes and and white girls and lovers because in these

white girls and lovers because in these

white girls and lovers because in these moments we will start living the

moments we will start living the

moments we will start living the experiences that bleed from sadness what

experiences that bleed from sadness what

experiences that bleed from sadness what rejoice in the promise of inclusion the

rejoice in the promise of inclusion the

rejoice in the promise of inclusion the color of my skin carries a story stories

color of my skin carries a story stories

color of my skin carries a story stories stories I intend to tell stories of a

stories I intend to tell stories of a

stories I intend to tell stories of a poison path Jim Crow segregation police

poison path Jim Crow segregation police

poison path Jim Crow segregation police brutality mass incarceration lynching

stories that continue to blemish where

stories that continue to blemish where we stand

we stand

we stand stories of brothers forgiving brothers

stories of brothers forgiving brothers

stories of brothers forgiving brothers stories of friends protecting friends

stories of friends protecting friends

stories of friends protecting friends from prejudice calling attention to

from prejudice calling attention to

from prejudice calling attention to systems of oppression stories of

systems of oppression stories of

systems of oppression stories of strangers helping strangers with

strangers helping strangers with

strangers helping strangers with outstretched hands reminding us that the

outstretched hands reminding us that the

outstretched hands reminding us that the stories we must tell our stories of hope

stories we must tell our stories of hope

stories we must tell our stories of hope and optimism but make no mistake make no

and optimism but make no mistake make no

and optimism but make no mistake make no mistake I am not so alienated from my

mistake I am not so alienated from my

mistake I am not so alienated from my reality that I don’t see the ugliness

reality that I don’t see the ugliness

reality that I don’t see the ugliness that confronts me daily I’m not so

that confronts me daily I’m not so

that confronts me daily I’m not so whitewashed so hungry for utopia that I

whitewashed so hungry for utopia that I

whitewashed so hungry for utopia that I that I don’t see the white woman pulling

that I don’t see the white woman pulling

that I don’t see the white woman pulling her purse closer to her as I adjust my

her purse closer to her as I adjust my

her purse closer to her as I adjust my body position to fit in the crowded

body position to fit in the crowded

body position to fit in the crowded elevator racism is real make no mistake

elevator racism is real make no mistake

elevator racism is real make no mistake we are not equal the pride of my people

we are not equal the pride of my people

we are not equal the pride of my people is accompanied by an ever-present morbid

is accompanied by an ever-present morbid

is accompanied by an ever-present morbid past that cannot be erased with the

past that cannot be erased with the

past that cannot be erased with the bumping of fists or the shaking of hands

bumping of fists or the shaking of hands

bumping of fists or the shaking of hands I am fully aware that some of my white

I am fully aware that some of my white

I am fully aware that some of my white counterparts are not doing the work to

counterparts are not doing the work to

counterparts are not doing the work to combat racism because they grew up in a

combat racism because they grew up in a

combat racism because they grew up in a world where race for them is not an

world where race for them is not an

world where race for them is not an issue it will take more than the talk

issue it will take more than the talk

issue it will take more than the talk about race to combat

about race to combat

about race to combat issues that deal with perspectives on

issues that deal with perspectives on

issues that deal with perspectives on cultural identity inclusion and

cultural identity inclusion and

cultural identity inclusion and diversity see I also grew up in a

diversity see I also grew up in a

diversity see I also grew up in a culture where women were celebrated for

culture where women were celebrated for

culture where women were celebrated for their bodily bounty now I find myself in

their bodily bounty now I find myself in

their bodily bounty now I find myself in a society

a society

a society we’re feminine curves are denounced and

we’re feminine curves are denounced and

we’re feminine curves are denounced and the term plus-sized is nothing but the

the term plus-sized is nothing but the

the term plus-sized is nothing but the noose around the necks of women

noose around the necks of women

noose around the necks of women I remember being 14 and my mother whose

I remember being 14 and my mother whose

I remember being 14 and my mother whose skin was the color of caramel said to me

skin was the color of caramel said to me

skin was the color of caramel said to me you’re black and ugly that statement

you’re black and ugly that statement

you’re black and ugly that statement stuck with me until well into my 20s

stuck with me until well into my 20s

stuck with me until well into my 20s shaping my understanding of beauty in

shaping my understanding of beauty in

shaping my understanding of beauty in others and in myself as I got older I I

others and in myself as I got older I I

others and in myself as I got older I I realized that that wasn’t my mother’s

realized that that wasn’t my mother’s

realized that that wasn’t my mother’s true my mother loves me even if I remind

true my mother loves me even if I remind

true my mother loves me even if I remind her of my father the man who triggers

her of my father the man who triggers

her of my father the man who triggers her anger towards me one day a stranger

her anger towards me one day a stranger

her anger towards me one day a stranger called me handsome and I didn’t know

called me handsome and I didn’t know

called me handsome and I didn’t know what to do with that information but

what to do with that information but

what to do with that information but that statement broke the curse from my

that statement broke the curse from my

that statement broke the curse from my childhood years later I stand before you

childhood years later I stand before you

childhood years later I stand before you a man purged of his childhood

a man purged of his childhood

a man purged of his childhood insecurities almost completely I believe

insecurities almost completely I believe

insecurities almost completely I believe that my dark skin was ugly I believe

that my dark skin was ugly I believe

that my dark skin was ugly I believe that my white nose was horrid I believe

that my white nose was horrid I believe

that my white nose was horrid I believe that I was not beautiful and I had to

that I was not beautiful and I had to

that I was not beautiful and I had to fit in a mole I could never feel because

fit in a mole I could never feel because

fit in a mole I could never feel because I was never born that way still true for

I was never born that way still true for

I was never born that way still true for so many little black boys and black

so many little black boys and black

so many little black boys and black girls see we all know the mainstream

girls see we all know the mainstream

girls see we all know the mainstream images of skinny and white on the covers

images of skinny and white on the covers

images of skinny and white on the covers of magazines are marketed symbols of

of magazines are marketed symbols of

of magazines are marketed symbols of beauty but when will we also embrace

beauty but when will we also embrace

beauty but when will we also embrace larger frames and afro textured hair as

larger frames and afro textured hair as

larger frames and afro textured hair as beautiful and although very different

beautiful and although very different

beautiful and although very different very different when will we start using

very different when will we start using

very different when will we start using a shared space to embrace both black and

a shared space to embrace both black and

a shared space to embrace both black and white experiences maybe it’s a long shot

white experiences maybe it’s a long shot

white experiences maybe it’s a long shot but what would that space look like when

but what would that space look like when

but what would that space look like when I was living in Dallas I came across the

I was living in Dallas I came across the

I was living in Dallas I came across the painting by you Willie Smith

painting by you Willie Smith

painting by you Willie Smith entitled the piper the painting sliver

entitled the piper the painting sliver

entitled the piper the painting sliver into my subconscious and lingered for

into my subconscious and lingered for

into my subconscious and lingered for weeks the rotting wall the black boy the

weeks the rotting wall the black boy the

weeks the rotting wall the black boy the air of hopelessness

air of hopelessness

air of hopelessness it was familiar but for all

it was familiar but for all

it was familiar but for all wrong reasons you see when I was a

wrong reasons you see when I was a

wrong reasons you see when I was a little boy my father who was a police

little boy my father who was a police

little boy my father who was a police officer held his gun to my head and he

officer held his gun to my head and he

officer held his gun to my head and he said if I ever find out you’re gay I

said if I ever find out you’re gay I

said if I ever find out you’re gay I will shoot you maybe it was my

will shoot you maybe it was my

will shoot you maybe it was my soft-spoken voice maybe it was my mild

soft-spoken voice maybe it was my mild

soft-spoken voice maybe it was my mild manners regardless I couldn’t understand

manners regardless I couldn’t understand

manners regardless I couldn’t understand why how when I see the painting I

why how when I see the painting I

why how when I see the painting I couldn’t help but remember growing up in

couldn’t help but remember growing up in

couldn’t help but remember growing up in Jamaica always having to jump over

Jamaica always having to jump over

Jamaica always having to jump over hurdles and walls Smith delivered a

hurdles and walls Smith delivered a

hurdles and walls Smith delivered a painting with many meanings and I I

painting with many meanings and I I

painting with many meanings and I I realized I didn’t have to search hard to

realized I didn’t have to search hard to

realized I didn’t have to search hard to equate their symbolism to my struggles

equate their symbolism to my struggles

equate their symbolism to my struggles over time the symbols of fear and

over time the symbols of fear and

over time the symbols of fear and inferiority injustice intolerance and

inferiority injustice intolerance and

inferiority injustice intolerance and Prejudice shifted to emblems of

Prejudice shifted to emblems of

Prejudice shifted to emblems of possibilities Redemption and hope 11

possibilities Redemption and hope 11

possibilities Redemption and hope 11 years ago I made the phone call to my

years ago I made the phone call to my

years ago I made the phone call to my father and recall to him a conversation

father and recall to him a conversation

father and recall to him a conversation that stayed with me for many years I

that stayed with me for many years I

that stayed with me for many years I told him that is his stripes forced me

told him that is his stripes forced me

told him that is his stripes forced me to dislike him and although I wanted

to dislike him and although I wanted

to dislike him and although I wanted nothing more than his affection the

nothing more than his affection the

nothing more than his affection the reward of becoming the man that I am far

reward of becoming the man that I am far

reward of becoming the man that I am far outweighed my need for his acceptance I

outweighed my need for his acceptance I

outweighed my need for his acceptance I told him that I was gay and that he

told him that I was gay and that he

told him that I was gay and that he couldn’t shoot me well some may say my

couldn’t shoot me well some may say my

couldn’t shoot me well some may say my courage was enhanced by my distance I

courage was enhanced by my distance I

courage was enhanced by my distance I call while I was in New York or or maybe

call while I was in New York or or maybe

call while I was in New York or or maybe it was that third glass of wine I don’t

it was that third glass of wine I don’t

it was that third glass of wine I don’t know

know

know but sometimes the hardest conversations

but sometimes the hardest conversations

but sometimes the hardest conversations are easiest when talking to strangers he

are easiest when talking to strangers he

are easiest when talking to strangers he was my father and I was a son connected

was my father and I was a son connected

was my father and I was a son connected by DNA but detached by hate I don’t know

by DNA but detached by hate I don’t know

by DNA but detached by hate I don’t know the way thing is I don’t believe he

the way thing is I don’t believe he

the way thing is I don’t believe he hates me how do you hate someone you

hates me how do you hate someone you

hates me how do you hate someone you don’t know and this is not just my story

don’t know and this is not just my story

don’t know and this is not just my story it’s the story of so many others who are

it’s the story of so many others who are

it’s the story of so many others who are made to feel inferior who were made to

made to feel inferior who were made to

made to feel inferior who were made to live in fear but can still hope dreaming

live in fear but can still hope dreaming

live in fear but can still hope dreaming our morals should not be formed by the

our morals should not be formed by the

our morals should not be formed by the deeds of bigots

deeds of bigots

deeds of bigots and talking about a solution will not

and talking about a solution will not

and talking about a solution will not end centuries of marginalization and

end centuries of marginalization and

end centuries of marginalization and oppression we we have all engraved our

oppression we we have all engraved our

oppression we we have all engraved our markings into the landscape of a great

markings into the landscape of a great

markings into the landscape of a great nation hoping to form a waterfall of

nation hoping to form a waterfall of

nation hoping to form a waterfall of parity there is there is so much beauty

parity there is there is so much beauty

parity there is there is so much beauty in other there is so much beauty in

in other there is so much beauty in

in other there is so much beauty in there is so much beauty in other being a

there is so much beauty in other being a

there is so much beauty in other being a black gay man taught me that so who are

black gay man taught me that so who are

black gay man taught me that so who are you who are we we we are all pieces of

you who are we we we are all pieces of

you who are we we we are all pieces of each other vessels of triumph if we

each other vessels of triumph if we

each other vessels of triumph if we choose to embrace the struggles of the

choose to embrace the struggles of the

choose to embrace the struggles of the person sitting next to us we’re all

person sitting next to us we’re all

person sitting next to us we’re all signals of Hope chanting the hymns of

signals of Hope chanting the hymns of

signals of Hope chanting the hymns of redemption singing alongside a multitude

redemption singing alongside a multitude

redemption singing alongside a multitude of ethnic groups if only to sound

of ethnic groups if only to sound

of ethnic groups if only to sound harmonious we are pillars of promise

harmonious we are pillars of promise

harmonious we are pillars of promise denouncing inequality kissing the lips

denouncing inequality kissing the lips

denouncing inequality kissing the lips of liberation because in this moment we

of liberation because in this moment we

of liberation because in this moment we should start tasting a new tomorrow

should start tasting a new tomorrow

should start tasting a new tomorrow knowing that hatred intolerance and

knowing that hatred intolerance and

knowing that hatred intolerance and tyranny can be pruned and discarded

tyranny can be pruned and discarded

tyranny can be pruned and discarded thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]