by the time you reach age 63 I by the way have the exact same birthday as
way have the exact same birthday as
way have the exact same birthday as Oprah Winfrey there you realize that
Oprah Winfrey there you realize that
Oprah Winfrey there you realize that there are a lot of paths to success and
there are a lot of paths to success and
there are a lot of paths to success and a lot of things one could talk about
a lot of things one could talk about
a lot of things one could talk about that contribute to success but if I had
that contribute to success but if I had
that contribute to success but if I had to pick one thing it would be this the
to pick one thing it would be this the
to pick one thing it would be this the power of yes what I have for you now are
power of yes what I have for you now are
power of yes what I have for you now are ten suggested actions all centered
ten suggested actions all centered
ten suggested actions all centered around this theme of yes that you can
around this theme of yes that you can
around this theme of yes that you can take to help you achieve success in your
take to help you achieve success in your
take to help you achieve success in your endeavors so here’s the first write it
endeavors so here’s the first write it
endeavors so here’s the first write it down that means you have to figure out
down that means you have to figure out
down that means you have to figure out what it is you want to achieve for that
what it is you want to achieve for that
what it is you want to achieve for that reason writing it down is not an easy
reason writing it down is not an easy
reason writing it down is not an easy task but if you are serious about
task but if you are serious about
task but if you are serious about achieving your goals you have to know
achieving your goals you have to know
achieving your goals you have to know what those goals are so write it down
what those goals are so write it down
what those goals are so write it down then when you write it down be yourself
then when you write it down be yourself
then when you write it down be yourself in your mind’s eye as already having
in your mind’s eye as already having
in your mind’s eye as already having achieved those goals I first did this
achieved those goals I first did this
achieved those goals I first did this write it down exercise in my mid-20s I
write it down exercise in my mid-20s I
write it down exercise in my mid-20s I wrote in a notebook my financial goals
wrote in a notebook my financial goals
wrote in a notebook my financial goals where I wanted to live what kind of job
where I wanted to live what kind of job
where I wanted to live what kind of job I wanted to have and I included lots of
I wanted to have and I included lots of
I wanted to have and I included lots of details I did wonder how how some of
details I did wonder how how some of
details I did wonder how how some of these things were going to happen but
these things were going to happen but
these things were going to happen but ultimately I found this focus on the end
ultimately I found this focus on the end
ultimately I found this focus on the end result you want and don’t worry too much
result you want and don’t worry too much
result you want and don’t worry too much about how you’re going to get their life
about how you’re going to get their life
about how you’re going to get their life will surprise you
will surprise you
will surprise you I found this notebook about 15 years
I found this notebook about 15 years
I found this notebook about 15 years later when I was going through some old
later when I was going through some old
later when I was going through some old papers I had stashed away and here’s
papers I had stashed away and here’s
papers I had stashed away and here’s what I found
what I found
what I found virtually every goal I had listed I had
virtually every goal I had listed I had
virtually every goal I had listed I had met now while all of that was very
met now while all of that was very
met now while all of that was very satisfying on one level in my mid-40s I
satisfying on one level in my mid-40s I
satisfying on one level in my mid-40s I went through some major rethinking of my
went through some major rethinking of my
went through some major rethinking of my life and goal this time I wrote down
life and goal this time I wrote down
life and goal this time I wrote down what I wanted to achieve in the way of
what I wanted to achieve in the way of
what I wanted to achieve in the way of personal more internally directed goals
personal more internally directed goals
personal more internally directed goals how I wanted my body to look and feel
how I wanted my body to look and feel
how I wanted my body to look and feel what I wanted my attitudes to be how I
what I wanted my attitudes to be how I
what I wanted my attitudes to be how I wanted to
wanted to
wanted to better be better able to deal with
better be better able to deal with
better be better able to deal with setback stress fear etc in short how to
setback stress fear etc in short how to
setback stress fear etc in short how to live a happier life not too long ago I
live a happier life not too long ago I
live a happier life not too long ago I came across this list and reading it
came across this list and reading it
came across this list and reading it felt a little surreal because as I look
felt a little surreal because as I look
felt a little surreal because as I look through each item on that list I thought
through each item on that list I thought
through each item on that list I thought wow that’s more or less true for me now
wow that’s more or less true for me now
wow that’s more or less true for me now though whatever it is you want for you
though whatever it is you want for you
though whatever it is you want for you please take that first step and write it
please take that first step and write it
please take that first step and write it down this next step in my mind is the
down this next step in my mind is the
down this next step in my mind is the linchpin of it all and that is they yes
linchpin of it all and that is they yes
linchpin of it all and that is they yes but opportunities if you are steeped in
but opportunities if you are steeped in
but opportunities if you are steeped in your vision what you have written down
your vision what you have written down
your vision what you have written down something interesting starts to happen
something interesting starts to happen
something interesting starts to happen opportunities will start coming your way
opportunities will start coming your way
opportunities will start coming your way now I’m not sure why this happens is it
now I’m not sure why this happens is it
now I’m not sure why this happens is it some sort of cosmic magic or is it that
some sort of cosmic magic or is it that
some sort of cosmic magic or is it that your brain while I’m parted by huge
your brain while I’m parted by huge
your brain while I’m parted by huge amounts of information now knows how to
amounts of information now knows how to
amounts of information now knows how to filter that incoming deluge and can spot
filter that incoming deluge and can spot
filter that incoming deluge and can spot opportunities that it wouldn’t have seen
opportunities that it wouldn’t have seen
opportunities that it wouldn’t have seen otherwise sometimes these opportunities
otherwise sometimes these opportunities
otherwise sometimes these opportunities will come from an unexpected direction
will come from an unexpected direction
will come from an unexpected direction that’s certainly been the case in my
that’s certainly been the case in my
that’s certainly been the case in my life
life
life best advice I can offer on this point is
best advice I can offer on this point is
best advice I can offer on this point is to bust yourself you will know when to
to bust yourself you will know when to
to bust yourself you will know when to say yes and sometimes these
say yes and sometimes these
say yes and sometimes these opportunities are big jumps don’t let
opportunities are big jumps don’t let
opportunities are big jumps don’t let that stop you you’ve already seen
that stop you you’ve already seen
that stop you you’ve already seen yourself in your mind’s eye in these
yourself in your mind’s eye in these
yourself in your mind’s eye in these roles though just say yes and tell
roles though just say yes and tell
roles though just say yes and tell yourself you will figure it out as you
yourself you will figure it out as you
yourself you will figure it out as you go along many times throughout my life
go along many times throughout my life
go along many times throughout my life thus far I thought to myself with a
thus far I thought to myself with a
thus far I thought to myself with a sense of wonder how did I get here often
sense of wonder how did I get here often
sense of wonder how did I get here often times I just jumped in when I spotted an
times I just jumped in when I spotted an
times I just jumped in when I spotted an opportunity here are a few eclectic
opportunity here are a few eclectic
opportunity here are a few eclectic examples in 1974 I enlisted in the
examples in 1974 I enlisted in the
examples in 1974 I enlisted in the United States Air Force as an integrated
United States Air Force as an integrated
United States Air Force as an integrated avionics component specialist at a time
avionics component specialist at a time
avionics component specialist at a time when such fields had just been open to
when such fields had just been open to
when such fields had just been open to women starting in 1999 I traveled a
women starting in 1999 I traveled a
women starting in 1999 I traveled a total of 16 times to a special
total of 16 times to a special
total of 16 times to a special place in South Africa where I would lie
place in South Africa where I would lie
place in South Africa where I would lie outside under the dark dark skies of the
outside under the dark dark skies of the
outside under the dark dark skies of the crew and gaze at a blanket of stars that
crew and gaze at a blanket of stars that
crew and gaze at a blanket of stars that stretch from Horizon to Horizon in 1992
stretch from Horizon to Horizon in 1992
stretch from Horizon to Horizon in 1992 I walked into the clinton-gore campaign
I walked into the clinton-gore campaign
I walked into the clinton-gore campaign headquarters in Little Rock Arkansas
headquarters in Little Rock Arkansas
headquarters in Little Rock Arkansas with only a piece of paper with a
with only a piece of paper with a
with only a piece of paper with a woman’s name on it in my hand I had
woman’s name on it in my hand I had
woman’s name on it in my hand I had never worked in a campaign much less a
never worked in a campaign much less a
never worked in a campaign much less a presidential campaign I wasn’t sure
presidential campaign I wasn’t sure
presidential campaign I wasn’t sure exactly what I was supposed to do but I
exactly what I was supposed to do but I
exactly what I was supposed to do but I knew I would figure it out as I went
knew I would figure it out as I went
knew I would figure it out as I went along this figuring it out leads me to
along this figuring it out leads me to
along this figuring it out leads me to read go the extra mile
read go the extra mile
read go the extra mile find ways to learn what you need to know
find ways to learn what you need to know
find ways to learn what you need to know to do your job well but don’t stop there
to do your job well but don’t stop there
to do your job well but don’t stop there always do more than is expected if you
always do more than is expected if you
always do more than is expected if you just do your job as prescribed and
just do your job as prescribed and
just do your job as prescribed and nothing more how will you stand out in
nothing more how will you stand out in
nothing more how will you stand out in any way wherever you work ask yourself
any way wherever you work ask yourself
any way wherever you work ask yourself what would I do if I were in charge this
what would I do if I were in charge this
what would I do if I were in charge this will give you a broad crisp broad
will give you a broad crisp broad
will give you a broad crisp broad perspective and motivation to learn the
perspective and motivation to learn the
perspective and motivation to learn the details of the business that you’re in
details of the business that you’re in
details of the business that you’re in who’s in charge and what’s going on in
who’s in charge and what’s going on in
who’s in charge and what’s going on in industry you’ll also start coming up
industry you’ll also start coming up
industry you’ll also start coming up with ideas as to how to make
with ideas as to how to make
with ideas as to how to make improvements you’ll be mentally ready to
improvements you’ll be mentally ready to
improvements you’ll be mentally ready to step up to a higher position when the
step up to a higher position when the
step up to a higher position when the opportunity does present itself because
opportunity does present itself because
opportunity does present itself because already been there in your mind this
already been there in your mind this
already been there in your mind this next tip is something I found useful as
next tip is something I found useful as
next tip is something I found useful as I look back I see that while I got help
I look back I see that while I got help
I look back I see that while I got help from others
from others
from others no one ever opened doors for me instead
no one ever opened doors for me instead
no one ever opened doors for me instead I had to actively seek out and ask for
I had to actively seek out and ask for
I had to actively seek out and ask for opportunity I grew up as a middle child
opportunity I grew up as a middle child
opportunity I grew up as a middle child in a family of eight children I wanted
in a family of eight children I wanted
in a family of eight children I wanted something I had to get it myself
something I had to get it myself
something I had to get it myself if I wanted to be noticed I I had to
if I wanted to be noticed I I had to
if I wanted to be noticed I I had to speak out so here’s number four sit in
speak out so here’s number four sit in
speak out so here’s number four sit in front this simple
front this simple
front this simple this will force you to be engaged to pay
this will force you to be engaged to pay
this will force you to be engaged to pay attention resolve to be a player if you
attention resolve to be a player if you
attention resolve to be a player if you have nothing to say or nothing to ask at
have nothing to say or nothing to ask at
have nothing to say or nothing to ask at a meeting or seminar why are you there
a meeting or seminar why are you there
a meeting or seminar why are you there it really helps if you can train
it really helps if you can train
it really helps if you can train yourself to not be overly concerned with
yourself to not be overly concerned with
yourself to not be overly concerned with what other people think of you that
what other people think of you that
what other people think of you that doesn’t mean that you should ignore
doesn’t mean that you should ignore
doesn’t mean that you should ignore constructive criticism such feedback can
constructive criticism such feedback can
constructive criticism such feedback can be valuable at times try to evaluate it
be valuable at times try to evaluate it
be valuable at times try to evaluate it dispassionately is the person giving you
dispassionately is the person giving you
dispassionately is the person giving you this advice some of you admire and
this advice some of you admire and
this advice some of you admire and respect is what they say makes sense to
respect is what they say makes sense to
respect is what they say makes sense to you think about it if you are president
you think about it if you are president
you think about it if you are president of the United States something like half
of the United States something like half
of the United States something like half the people in the country will not like
the people in the country will not like
the people in the country will not like you the higher up you go and the more
you the higher up you go and the more
you the higher up you go and the more visible you are more criticism you will
visible you are more criticism you will
visible you are more criticism you will attract you have ambitions for yourself
attract you have ambitions for yourself
attract you have ambitions for yourself and want to sleep well at night you need
and want to sleep well at night you need
and want to sleep well at night you need to get comfortable with that fact you
to get comfortable with that fact you
to get comfortable with that fact you also need to take action that leads me
also need to take action that leads me
also need to take action that leads me to five Bryke while the iron is hot
to five Bryke while the iron is hot
to five Bryke while the iron is hot don’t postpone or procrastinate if an
don’t postpone or procrastinate if an
don’t postpone or procrastinate if an opportunity comes your way they yes I
opportunity comes your way they yes I
opportunity comes your way they yes I found this to be true some opportunities
found this to be true some opportunities
found this to be true some opportunities don’t come around again this next one
don’t come around again this next one
don’t come around again this next one I’ll call a rule it is really important
I’ll call a rule it is really important
I’ll call a rule it is really important on its own it won’t lead to success but
on its own it won’t lead to success but
on its own it won’t lead to success but you simply cannot have true success in
you simply cannot have true success in
you simply cannot have true success in life without it fix be kind yourself and
life without it fix be kind yourself and
life without it fix be kind yourself and others it used to bother me a lot that I
others it used to bother me a lot that I
others it used to bother me a lot that I would criticize other people in my mind
would criticize other people in my mind
would criticize other people in my mind it took me a while to figure out that
it took me a while to figure out that
it took me a while to figure out that that critical voice in my head was being
that critical voice in my head was being
that critical voice in my head was being even more harsh on me it wasn’t until I
even more harsh on me it wasn’t until I
even more harsh on me it wasn’t until I started to heal some old pains from my
started to heal some old pains from my
started to heal some old pains from my early childhood that I found with almost
early childhood that I found with almost
early childhood that I found with almost no effort that the internal criticisms I
no effort that the internal criticisms I
no effort that the internal criticisms I had toward myself and others just sort
had toward myself and others just sort
had toward myself and others just sort of melted away
of melted away
of melted away it turns
it turns
it turns not that all my years of previous
not that all my years of previous
not that all my years of previous resolutions you think nice thoughts of
resolutions you think nice thoughts of
resolutions you think nice thoughts of others had made little headway because I
others had made little headway because I
others had made little headway because I hadn’t drilled down to what was causing
hadn’t drilled down to what was causing
hadn’t drilled down to what was causing those troublesome thoughts in the first
those troublesome thoughts in the first
those troublesome thoughts in the first place
place
place understand this you are not your brain
understand this you are not your brain
understand this you are not your brain you can’t even control your brain your
you can’t even control your brain your
you can’t even control your brain your unconscious mind is making decisions all
unconscious mind is making decisions all
unconscious mind is making decisions all on its own and you think that you have
on its own and you think that you have
on its own and you think that you have done this well you might then ask how
done this well you might then ask how
done this well you might then ask how can I make changes how can I do anything
can I make changes how can I do anything
can I make changes how can I do anything in my life if my unconscious mind is
in my life if my unconscious mind is
in my life if my unconscious mind is making all the decisions for me that
making all the decisions for me that
making all the decisions for me that brings me to seven develop good habit
brings me to seven develop good habit
brings me to seven develop good habit let’s face it good habits make for an
let’s face it good habits make for an
let’s face it good habits make for an efficient effective life if your
efficient effective life if your
efficient effective life if your unconscious mind is not floating you on
unconscious mind is not floating you on
unconscious mind is not floating you on this and I’ll have more to say on that
this and I’ll have more to say on that
this and I’ll have more to say on that in a moment
in a moment
in a moment you can consciously decide to create a
you can consciously decide to create a
you can consciously decide to create a habit let’s take a relatively simple
habit let’s take a relatively simple
habit let’s take a relatively simple example I have developed the habit of
example I have developed the habit of
example I have developed the habit of exercising on certain days the week I do
exercising on certain days the week I do
exercising on certain days the week I do a particular set of exercises I no
a particular set of exercises I no
a particular set of exercises I no longer think about it if it’s Tuesday I
longer think about it if it’s Tuesday I
longer think about it if it’s Tuesday I do my to stay exercise during all of
do my to stay exercise during all of
do my to stay exercise during all of 2016 I was the primary caregiver for my
2016 I was the primary caregiver for my
2016 I was the primary caregiver for my husband though I needed to be home most
husband though I needed to be home most
husband though I needed to be home most of the time I couldn’t just take off and
of the time I couldn’t just take off and
of the time I couldn’t just take off and do what I’ve been doing before so I had
do what I’ve been doing before so I had
do what I’ve been doing before so I had to create a new exercise regime for
to create a new exercise regime for
to create a new exercise regime for myself this regime of day-of-the-week
myself this regime of day-of-the-week
myself this regime of day-of-the-week exercises is now a habit for me which I
exercises is now a habit for me which I
exercises is now a habit for me which I find that I like so I’m keeping to it
find that I like so I’m keeping to it
find that I like so I’m keeping to it for now but what if I find that I’m not
for now but what if I find that I’m not
for now but what if I find that I’m not doing the conscious work needed to
doing the conscious work needed to
doing the conscious work needed to create a desired habit that brings me to
create a desired habit that brings me to
create a desired habit that brings me to eight find out what’s holding you back
eight find out what’s holding you back
eight find out what’s holding you back if I find myself making excuses that
if I find myself making excuses that
if I find myself making excuses that indicates to me that there’s some part
indicates to me that there’s some part
indicates to me that there’s some part of my brain that doesn’t want to do it
of my brain that doesn’t want to do it
of my brain that doesn’t want to do it and maybe there’s a good reason for this
and maybe there’s a good reason for this
and maybe there’s a good reason for this sometimes there’s a valid concern that’s
sometimes there’s a valid concern that’s
sometimes there’s a valid concern that’s percolating in my mind and hasn’t yet
percolating in my mind and hasn’t yet
percolating in my mind and hasn’t yet made it to my conscious awareness in any
made it to my conscious awareness in any
made it to my conscious awareness in any event I don’t berate myself instead I
event I don’t berate myself instead I
event I don’t berate myself instead I get curious
get curious
get curious and try to figure out what’s going on
and try to figure out what’s going on
and try to figure out what’s going on this is actually kind of fun trying to
this is actually kind of fun trying to
this is actually kind of fun trying to figure out how the brain works I say the
figure out how the brain works I say the
figure out how the brain works I say the brain to remind myself that it’s not
brain to remind myself that it’s not
brain to remind myself that it’s not personal it’s just the brain doing its
personal it’s just the brain doing its
personal it’s just the brain doing its thing I’ve also found that changing your
thing I’ve also found that changing your
thing I’ve also found that changing your perspective can help that leads me to
perspective can help that leads me to
perspective can help that leads me to nine refrain what is the story you tell
nine refrain what is the story you tell
nine refrain what is the story you tell yourself about your life about the
yourself about your life about the
yourself about your life about the things that happen to you whatever
things that happen to you whatever
things that happen to you whatever happens don’t allow a painful episode to
happens don’t allow a painful episode to
happens don’t allow a painful episode to turn into a story of failure and defeat
turn into a story of failure and defeat
turn into a story of failure and defeat for you keep reframing the story in your
for you keep reframing the story in your
for you keep reframing the story in your mind until you come up with a story of
mind until you come up with a story of
mind until you come up with a story of strength healing and resilience that
strength healing and resilience that
strength healing and resilience that rings true for you
rings true for you
rings true for you in 1984 I married a man an extraordinary
in 1984 I married a man an extraordinary
in 1984 I married a man an extraordinary man who was 28 years older than I what
man who was 28 years older than I what
man who was 28 years older than I what though I knew going in that I would
though I knew going in that I would
though I knew going in that I would outlive him and that someday I would
outlive him and that someday I would
outlive him and that someday I would face losing him I feel lucky that we had
face losing him I feel lucky that we had
face losing him I feel lucky that we had so many truly truly wonderful years
so many truly truly wonderful years
so many truly truly wonderful years together and that he stayed healthy and
together and that he stayed healthy and
together and that he stayed healthy and vibrant for so long but in the end he
vibrant for so long but in the end he
vibrant for so long but in the end he was ready to go he died in late January
was ready to go he died in late January
was ready to go he died in late January of this year I’m resilient that’s the
of this year I’m resilient that’s the
of this year I’m resilient that’s the story I tell myself so I know that I
story I tell myself so I know that I
story I tell myself so I know that I will get accustomed to life without him
will get accustomed to life without him
will get accustomed to life without him nevertheless I’m still going through the
nevertheless I’m still going through the
nevertheless I’m still going through the normal grieving process though I did
normal grieving process though I did
normal grieving process though I did wonder is the little why I so readily
wonder is the little why I so readily
wonder is the little why I so readily agreed to give this talk so soon after
agreed to give this talk so soon after
agreed to give this talk so soon after my husband died but upon reflection I
my husband died but upon reflection I
my husband died but upon reflection I realized that the habits that I’ve
realized that the habits that I’ve
realized that the habits that I’ve developed over the years are now
developed over the years are now
developed over the years are now ingrained in me almost without any
ingrained in me almost without any
ingrained in me almost without any conscious thought my brain followed rule
conscious thought my brain followed rule
conscious thought my brain followed rule number two is say yes it also followed
number two is say yes it also followed
number two is say yes it also followed rule number five strike while the iron
rule number five strike while the iron
rule number five strike while the iron is hot because this opportunity may not
is hot because this opportunity may not
is hot because this opportunity may not come again this is my opportunity give
come again this is my opportunity give
come again this is my opportunity give I hope is an inspirational talk on
I hope is an inspirational talk on
I hope is an inspirational talk on issues I fought so much about and I’m
issues I fought so much about and I’m
issues I fought so much about and I’m grateful that I was asked to do it and
grateful that I was asked to do it and
grateful that I was asked to do it and finally there is 10
finally there is 10
finally there is 10 life is short maybe we are born and at
life is short maybe we are born and at
life is short maybe we are born and at some point we all die I’ve come to a
some point we all die I’ve come to a
some point we all die I’ve come to a perspective where I realize that I or
perspective where I realize that I or
perspective where I realize that I or anyone that I’m close to could die at
anyone that I’m close to could die at
anyone that I’m close to could die at any time I accept that and even feel
any time I accept that and even feel
any time I accept that and even feel some peace with it
some peace with it
some peace with it at this stage in my life I treat life as
at this stage in my life I treat life as
at this stage in my life I treat life as a game and the rule of the game is to
a game and the rule of the game is to
a game and the rule of the game is to make the most of whatever time it is I
make the most of whatever time it is I
make the most of whatever time it is I have remaining lately I’ve been
have remaining lately I’ve been
have remaining lately I’ve been intrigued by some fascinating research
intrigued by some fascinating research
intrigued by some fascinating research that the DES possibility that this could
that the DES possibility that this could
that the DES possibility that this could be a very long time indeed there are
be a very long time indeed there are
be a very long time indeed there are some of us who think that we are on the
some of us who think that we are on the
some of us who think that we are on the cusp of being able to dramatically
cusp of being able to dramatically
cusp of being able to dramatically increase the human lifespan I’m talking
increase the human lifespan I’m talking
increase the human lifespan I’m talking about living to something like 200 years
about living to something like 200 years
about living to something like 200 years just thinking about this possibility is
just thinking about this possibility is
just thinking about this possibility is mind-blowing my plan is to try to stay
mind-blowing my plan is to try to stay
mind-blowing my plan is to try to stay around long enough so that I can take
around long enough so that I can take
around long enough so that I can take advantage of all the new anti-aging
advantage of all the new anti-aging
advantage of all the new anti-aging technologies if and when they become
technologies if and when they become
technologies if and when they become available there’s no question for me I’m
available there’s no question for me I’m
available there’s no question for me I’m saying yes will you
”
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